I Want To Run Away

Avatar for Jane
Written by
3 years ago

November 12, 2021

I want to run away, to a place where no one could see me. No one knows my identity. No duty. No boss. No family. No stress. And all I want is to take a big break from this funny and crazy world. I'm not tired physically, perhaps mentally. As these pessimistic thoughts are being tangled in my mind. They are plenty that might drive me crazy.

Wherever my sights are, they are seeing the true reality of a crazy world. The reality that I can't avoid even how much I tried to escape from it, to ignore it, to break it down. Because unfortunately, I am part of it. And to take a break from it, all I have to do is to disconnect from the world where I currently live. And probably, I have to go somewhere new and start my life anew.

After all, you can't stop me from loving myself again. Loving myself again. When was the last time I did it? More than a decade or so? I want to live differently and freely. Free from any burden, negative, and toxic. Different from how I was in the past - timid, weak, and unconfident. I want to be divergent in interest, perception, dreams, and goals.

No one cares about my pain and emotions, because I always care about your pain. How long do I need to wait until someone tells me "love yourself first and don't mind the world and the people around you." or.....

"Take a break before you break. Because your well-being matters more." Those are the words I always wanted to hear from all of you. But to no avail. Years, months, days, hours, and seconds have passed. But I am still here waiting. Waiting for someone to lift the heavy baggage on my shoulders. Or at least, carry some for me.

The more I go farther, the harder it is to unload my baggage. The harder it is to resist helping others. Someone says helping others helps yourself. I thought the same thing. Unfortunately, it doesn't fall like my expectations.

Oftentimes, I'm thinking, can't everything just give and take? Why is it always giving but less taking? Even the adage "the more you give, the more you receive" doesn't seem to work. Perhaps this is the crazy and funny part of reality and the world. And expectations are way too far from reality. We expect much but only to disappoint ourselves in the end.

Reality truly sucks. How can we even change it? Never. As it is constant and will forever suck. It makes us productive the whole time even if we want to slack in our abode or escape from it. Can I just be productive, say no to everyone expecting something from me? Because it's tough to stand the whole day just to meet their expectations.

Undeniably, even if I speak up and do not fear to confess my heavy sentiments to them, they would always say something against me. I wish I could freely say, "Hey guys, I want to run away. Just look after yourself okay? And do not bother me." It's easy to think, but hard to speak out.

Never enough. I am never enough for them, perhaps, for me as well. The search for real freedom never ends. When could I have it? Where could I find it? Do I have to run away to have it? But someone told me, "don't run away. Just treat yourself better, a good sleep maybe, good food, or anything that works for you."

At the end of the day, it is always a good rest that could put my mind at peace. It's a good day and I should feel okay. But here I am, slouching in the corner, anxious and weary, and venting out this nonsensical stuff. Due to this upcoming monthly red flag, my mind becomes full of pessimistic thoughts, they are unwavering, and can not be tangled.

Whatever it is, I have to constantly remind myself "sleep when you can, or be a smartphone zombie." Maybe soon I'll become a smartphone zombie. I am starting to be, honestly. Before it gets worse, I have to constantly remind myself to "love yourself."

Albeit toughly, I have to remove these thoughts and divert them into positive ones. Can a miracle help me? Does a miracle happens? Maybe yes, with fervent prayer and strong faith. I know that I could pull out myself out from this deep hole. I did this before, and I could make it again.

Yuletide season is here. Christmas is here so I should only be positive and happy. And instead of running away from the chaotic world and crazy reality, I have to run away from these crazy thoughts. Because I might go insane if I will allow them to sit in and break my tranquility.

As I came across this platform, the first thing that captured my attention was, how often do you pamper yourself? My answer is, less seldom, lol. Maybe this is what I truly need. Not an escape, but unwinding and pampering.

And this is what a weary mind can do, vent out nonsensical stuff. Pardon me for dragging your articles here guys @gertu13 @HappyBoy @Khing14 @Maryjacy @TengoLoTodo @carolinacardoza @Greatwolfman @Kristofferquincy @Glez @Jay997 @Grecy095 @Olasquare @Kendy42 @King_Gozie @FarmGirl @Scotty17 @Esthery97 @DocLayla @Eybyoung.

I just feel to include them in my Acrostic writing. And sorry for the tags.

Thanks for your time.

Feel free to read my other acrostic writings:

Because Of You (My Life Has Changed)

Just So Random

I'm Not Lazy, Just Tired

Love Thy Self

The Will To Write

Β©read.cash@Jane (All rights reserved 2021)

Time of writing: 11/11/21 @2pm 

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Comments

πŸ’œ awwe feels honoured seeing my article in here. Thanks jane πŸ’œπŸ˜˜

$ 0.02
3 years ago

What good acrostics you do, I have already read several. We all always want to run away from something. Especially from routine, or things that make us bad. We want to take our bags and run, get away from it all. I recently saw an animated movie "The croods 2". Where a father had a "man's place", where he went to rest, relax and get away from his family. It's harder to recover from mental exhaustion than physical exhaustion. You don't know how long it will take you to feel better. Striving for what you want is important, but so is rest. Without enough rest your body will not be well.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

You really need to pamper yourself, pause for a while looking for money.. spend some for your satisfaction, it's one way of maintaining our sanity.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Kaya nga. Kakapagod mag grind grind everyday lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Sometimes when I get tired of family responsibility I do feel like running away but I guess I love them too much that's why I was unable to run away from them

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I wanna run away too. Haha. Pero ang galing talaga, another acrostic that is well written. πŸ₯³

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You always have a way you go about this acrostics. Please don't run away 🀣🀣, just find time to rest and relief yourself from stress.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

The goal of the human mind should be to love yourself and to love yourself so that you can love others and then the main happiness of your life will come down to freedom. After showing love to yourself, your mind will be able to love others, then your mind will be able to express independent success towards itself.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

This is what I need right now , that freedom from all this stress and having enough time for myself, sometimes I be like can't I just wake up when everything is over.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Hi Jane. My husband David has told me a lot about you. Everything he told me is true. Your way of writing draws my attention, it is very pretty and with intelligence. 😊

$ 0.02
3 years ago

David? πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Infinity. 😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Oh.. Hello there.. Good to see you're here. 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

IΒ΄m a fan of these posts, this way of writing is awesome! and well, do not forget you are the most important for... YOU!

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You made a very good article out of your acrostic. It has coherence and balance but the main point and topic didn't fade. I thought of me few years back, I don't give much time fixing myself as I thought, what for? But as hubby told me I should treat myself well so as not to look manang and atleast pamper myself a bit. I realized he's right.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

It's good to know that your hubby is encouraging you to pamper yourself. Because we all need it. Especially the mothers. And since he said that, you should do that then 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I do, it's just that sometimes you have to overlook your needs many times just to prioritize the needs of majority within the family sometimes. 😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It seems that your tiredness is because you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are trying too hard. You need to rest more. Enjoy yourself more. Thanks for the mention, no apologies.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Maybe soon 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I have seen how you do these acrostic in a natural way and time of just thinking that I have to do one. It is natural talent, there is no other explanation.

Ps: stop apologizing, we all feel super happy when we are referenced in an article ahah

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Looking forward to reading your acrostic article 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You need to stop apologizing Janey hahaha. You are good with this Acoustic and I am enjoying it.

Let's run away... You know I've been proposing this since πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Seychelles should be fine and if you want other place, I would gladly go too hahaha.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Seoul Korea please 🀣🀣

$ 0.01
3 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ as long as you are with me... It's fine.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

i felt these...the need to run away and to prioritize yourself..the lack of appreciation and affection...huhuhuhuhuhuh sadt..

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Let's both run away Mommykim hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

hold my hand madam hahaha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Your writings and challenges are wonderful, they encourage you to continue writing. Thank you.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Liked it dear. You not only created a new topic but included other’s articles too. Incredible!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It's so relatable, I think too many of us, and the part where you m mentioned 'No one cares about my pain and emotions, because I always care about your pain...' was really very much relatable to me too and yes its also true the more we care about others the less we are cared by others. Faking a little smile on ourself is what we do but deep inside its much much painful. Take a break before you break was nostalgic, once my girlfriend says that statement. Have a beautiful day Jane, take care of yourself and get some relaxing moments for yourself. Good night sleep well:-)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Nice one dito sis for your acrostic article. I want to try but I can't think of any talaga. Then. laban lang tayo sis sa hamon ng buhay. Rest but never quit.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Indeed

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Owaw! Thank you for the mention and using one of my title in your acrostic article. You can't run away ganda but you can at least pamper your self from everyday stress. Spend even one day of your day off in a salon, spa, food house to refreshen and rejuvenate yourself.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I will.soon haha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I know you would have a hard time compiling all these articles together to make something for yourself. This is another beautiful acrostic Challenge for you. The truth is we cannot run away but we can just allow those thoughts in us fade away and refill them with positive thoughts.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Not really .. As I've read them on the homepage and just save the links 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Wow! What a nice blog entry you have @Jane. πŸ‘πŸ» Napaka taba ng utak. Pahingi po ng braincells. πŸ˜‚ Kidding aside, I truly agree that no one can stop us from loving ourselves. It's similar to, "they can't change us." Indeed, we should not let ourselves be controlled by other people.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Dead cells madami 🀣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ang bigat nmann sis ng article na ito prang ang hirap huminga. kalma lang or shout out loud nlng. hehehe

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I also want to run away and free my mind even for just a day huhu

$ 0.02
User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Dami tlga gusto.. Pro hirap gawin

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Kaya nga hayssss.

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

You are indeed an awesome writer. I love how you used this opportunity to throw light on so many awesome posts. I'll have to check out all your acrostic works

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Breath in breath out. I can feel every word. Some of us are more pessimistic but I admire you of your optimism.. take some time off, afterall our mental health is very important just as our physical does

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Very important but we sometimes take it for granted 😒

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Amazing article sis, I like it whatever your encountering right now you should be happy and be positive always God bless

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Firstly I’m honored to be mentioned by a great writer… you really had a lot going on and I could relate with so many of them.. but I’ll emphasize on two that hits deep and it’s treat your self well and also the last one about staying happy…

I agreed to everyone of them and it’s what is deserving and no one should have to tell us when to go for we want and nobody should ever cause us sadness..

Really all that matters is us as individuals.. all the articles are really amazing and if I intend breaking it down this will be a 15min read in your comment section.

Take care JaneπŸ’›

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Haha.. It should be long but I made it short. The readers might get bored 🀣 Thanks for the message.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

AwwnπŸ˜‡, you will never cease to amaze me ma, this is a great write up that must have taken so much of your time. I give you an applaud.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I'm almost out of balance for my time holding my phone from morning until evening but I keep on reminding myself ma'am that it's okay to rest sometimes. I don't mind if they earn more than by I earned. It's all about time to relax because it's really tired sometimes.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I have to remind myself about this lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ang galing madam, pang ilan naba areh ? UwU. Anyways, stop that thinking too much and be happy. You can do that right. Give yourself a break sometimes.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I will. Soon ,πŸ™‚

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Another Acrostic challenge, you should be crown the queen of acrostic challenge.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha.. Thanksn

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Looks like this is another 2-in-1 challenge, and it's a masterpiece as usual πŸ˜‰ Sometimes I also feel like running away and just starting afresh where nobody knows me

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Should we run away together? Haha.. But I know you already lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

πŸ˜‚ exactly why it wouldn't work

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ang bigat naman sa pakiramdam nitong article mo madam. Pero kung anuman yang pinagdadaanan mo, running away won't help. Panandalian mong makakalimutan ang mga problema pero babalik ka pa rin sa reyalidad. Instead of running, face it... Heads on madam. Kaya mo yan. You are a brave woman and I am sure you will win and conquer it. It maybe hard but always remember that it will surely passed. Ikaw pa ba? Share ko lang ulit yung favorite quote ko,

"If life gives you a hundred reason to cry, show life that you have thousands of reason to smile."

Btw, eto pala bagong trend dito sa read cash, acrostic. Ang galing at ang ganda lang. πŸ‘ πŸ‘

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Oo madam. Itry mo na 🀣 I know naman. Yung isip ko lng parang aning kpag malapit na ang dalaw. Kya ayan nag emot na naman lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Dyan tayo eh, sa overthinkingπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I feel this way sometimes too. To block away all worries and thoughts. Run away from challenges and people but in the midst of the chaos i realise being Happy no matter what is paramount.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

True . let's just accept this reality and the world.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You are too harsh of yourself ate. Hindi masama ang magrest for us to have a new strength to continue on what is pending. But then, if only I have a chance to run awy from this world, I immediately grab it. Away from stress, anxiety and pressure.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Parepareho tyo ng gusto. Yung kht 1month lng.. Ay hndi 1 year nlng 🀣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

1 year para sulti ate hahaha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

That feeling you have that you're not really of this world. A feeling of loneliness and longing. You long for something that you aren't even aware of yet. I appreciate the mention ate Jane.😊

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha.. Now I included your article 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I Really appreciate you mention me in your article, I want to run away with you

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha.. Nangolekta ng titles 🀣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Mag papa gawa kana ng iyong mansion

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I actually appreciate the mention; sleep when you can or be a smartphone zombie...🀣🀣

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha im starting to become one 🀣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You are amazing, you have a way of putting your writing together in a way that looks so easy that I would like to do it too. thank you.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Why not hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Run away with me sis, LOL! Brilliant article as always and somehow shows what you need - break and pampering :) You deserve it sis!

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Tara. Hehe. Punta ka dto HK 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Oo, that reminded me I have to renew my PP haha. It's expiring this month and I keep forgetting to set an appointment

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hehe start pampering 😁

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Sure I will hehe

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Am glad to hear it

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Everybody got baggage that we are pulling individually. All of these will be story later on. It’s a phase and it will definitely pass. We should keep loving ourselves in every situation.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I’m telling you now sis. Love yourself first and the world will follow. You can’t pour from and empty jar, so fill your jar with self love sweetie πŸ’™

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Oh this is sweet. Thank you. Sure I will πŸ™‚

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Im I reading to myself? I guess I was, and I could also feel your emotions as well.

Sometimes one will think of finding a place to rest that no one will even come to say hi nor hello, a State whereby one will want to isolated themselves from people so as to have rest of mind, but always seem like an impossible thing to do. By if had the opportunity , I will.

Sometimes even when you feel like taking a brake, so many things will be holding you back, probably there might be a lot of task on your desk that are yet to be done. Always craving for someone to help you but no one could be found even those you think might come to your aid will disappear... I just see life as a pleasure of no rest.

Everything will be okay ma'am JaneπŸ™

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Life. A pleasure of no rest. I should take note of this πŸ™‚

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Everyone wishes to be stressed free especially me cos I will love to run with you but then who will bring food to the table and etc so we have to face it wish wisdom

$ 0.02
3 years ago

The way you painted a picture of a wounded thought, with a fragile state of mind is thrilling; coupled with the provocative questions and resolution.

What is yet again strapped in the awesomeness of this article is the fact that you engineered the piece with a persimisstic tone and doctored it at the end with an optimistic diagnosis that would best treat your state of mind.

We are all prisoners of life. That's an indubitable fact. We can't be totally free from the shackles of reality because we make up the reality. Although, the chaos may be overwhelming at times but we are wired with the needed sources to overcome.

Needles to say, that the beauty of life in itself is anchored on this amazing issues. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It has been a good read.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

I really do want to join you up in this race for survival from this critical world that is full of oppression and depression

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Very emotional article. We should always try to find time for ourselves for resting and gaining positive energy and we should always take a break whenever we can.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Because we are only human and we need it

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Numerous thoughts in one article and you made the right decision at the end of everything which is staying happy in this stressful, chaotic, and competitive love.

There is no crime in trying to break free from the world but how much can we live alone? Aren't we going to lose touch? Wouldn't our marks be wiped off by the challenges the world goes through every day??

Staying good, happy, healthy and comfortable with whatever you are doing is what matters. Being dead while still existing doesn't suit us.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

You're right and it hurts. Even if we want to run away and live alone. Still. We can't live alone forever and we can not run away from people whom we called family

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Sometimes I feel this way too, to be away from the stress of this world. Why can't I live my life without thinking of any outcome. I might just sit somewhere and begin to imagine the life I would be living if I was alone in a far place. Most times, I see myself in Islands under the palm tree, enjoying the sea breeze πŸ˜†. But I come to realize it is life and it can't be changed.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha.. And we can only make it in our dreams lol

$ 0.00
3 years ago

This is indeed heart warming, my heart kept running fast as I was reading, it speaks to me also cus I just sometimes feel I should absent myself from all the stress of this world and maybe run away to where no one recognises meπŸ˜“πŸ’”

$ 0.00
3 years ago