Love Thy Self

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
3 years ago

October 12, 2021

In my 32 years of existence, I felt like I Owe Myself An Apology for always pushing myself to the edge just like @Corpsekunno, and placing other people on top of my priorities, compromising other aspects of my life. Who wouldn't anyway? Especially if you are carrying a heavy burden on your shoulders that is too tough to unload. And I tend to not care or love myself at times as I am more focused on giving care and love to others.

But I stumbled on this article of @Grecy095 about Self Love. Anyone? That made me reevaluate myself again. Am I giving enough care and love to myself? Or am I deteriorating the vital aspects of myself?

Undoubtedly, it isn't only happening to me but to most of us here who have responsibilities and burdens on our shoulders. The heroic breadwinners, the working students, the exhausted mothers, the hard-working fathers, and the struggling single parents. Even some individuals who are living for themselves are also struggling with their lives as they need to work hard just to survive from this world that is labeled with price tags and inflation is constantly evolving.


Life is arduous and that is indisputable. And living in this perilous and pricey world makes life tougher. What is too much to one is just about enough to another. But for us who are just living an ordinary life, too much is sometimes inadequate. So we tend to flex more muscles, do hustles and bustles, set aside our wants, and only think of the priorities and ways how to lessen burdens on our shoulders, or if possible, ways to unload them. It becomes heavy when accumulated over time that makes our bodies burnt out. But who cares anyway? We still need to continue to grind.

Our life seems to revolve around certain places and people only, and it is sometimes too difficult to step out. We keep on chasing the dreams of others abandoning our own dreams. We keep following the path made by others and tend to divert from our ideal path. We are working increased hours, even at home, even on holidays. Surely, we deserve time off but we always matter what other people would think if we just slack in our abode and we are also thinking of our sense of obligations. We can't even voice our feelings even though it's evident that we need to express them.

Validating our feelings seems to be not included in the dictionary, not in their vocabulary. But honestly, we also want others to patch a bandage when we cut our fingers, scrape our knees, or treat our bruises with their warm touch. We also want to be asked by others if we are feeling okay. We also want to hear encouraging words from them when we are afraid of something or feel like giving up. Someone who will say, "I know you can get through it. It will make you stronger. It will help you overcome your fear. Next time, you're already a better version of yourself." And etcetera.

Eventually, when we don't get the love and care we need from the people around us and when our bodies become burnt out, we tend to fetch up in a place that isn't in our taste. In a dark place where we can't see ourselves anymore. Where we are being surrounded by only burdens and responsibilities. We tend to forget about ourselves due to busyness. We tend to forget about self-care as no one cares about us anyway. We tend to unlove ourselves as no one doesn't love us anyway. Because what they only care about is the support we can give them.

There are cases where the loved ones feel and know the burdens and struggles, but they have no choice but to let us grind carelessly as we are the only hope of the family. For some, they choose the path chosen by their selfish parents as they serve as the yardstick of the family. I feel pity for them though, it seems like their freedom is totally robbed from them.

Hastily, we grind and strive harder just to show them that we are strong and capable. Yet, we sometimes feel that we are not good enough so we tend to grind more until we become exhausted. And even if we want to give up and only care about ourselves, we can't do that as people might think that we are being selfish. Are we? Or they are. In our entire life of adulting, when did we give much time to ourselves? When did we feel real happiness with no burdens on our shoulders?

Youth life was robbed, happiness has been deprived, freedom has been caged inside the isolated room. Bodies are slowly deteriorating. Do you feel that? Less to no more self-love and self-care. Your feeling is what I feel because we are in the same shoes. We are having the same mundane life and only once in a blue moon when we can feel real excitement, pleasure, and joy. We are also good at advising other people but we can't seem to advise ourselves. Sounds absurd right? But it's true.

SELF-LOVE? How to define it? How can we have it? The truth is, it is easy to spell but too hard to learn, and sometimes too challenging. Oftentimes, we feel envious of other people's lives and wish to have the same too. We invalidate our own feelings, achievements, and hard work because we always thought, "grass is greener on the other side of the fence." But we can't have that greener grass anyway since we are stuck inside our own fence. And all we could do is feel pity for ourselves and watch people passing by our fence.

Easier said than done. But we truly need to learn how to love and take care of ourselves. Who will suffer once our lives' equilibrium becomes unbalanced? No other than us. How could we continue our life and the dreams of the people around us if we don't take care of and love ourselves? It would be difficult to deal with it once our vision becomes distorted, our paths become more strenuous, and our lives deteriorate.

LOVE yourself, let's love ourselves. In that way, we could forgive ourselves and others and we'll have the strength to surpass the most challenging and tough times of our lives. We may not unload all the heavy burdens on our shoulders, but so much weight might be lifted off once we allow ourselves to be loved and taken care of. We just have to reach the hands of other people who are willing to help. Dump that too much pride and break that huge ego. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I've done my part, can you do yours? I'm not feeling well, care to continue my work?" Most especially, there is nothing wrong with crying when we are in pain. There is nothing wrong with shouting to express our heavy feelings. There is nothing wrong with declining their wants and giving more time for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with saying "NO" when we know we are tired.

From now on, show the world that you deserve to be loved and given care just like anyone else. Because if there is someone who can give us true love and care, it is only us, not anyone else. We aren't alone in this world. Some people are always willing to help, we just have to accept their helping hands. And there is nothing wrong with loving ourselves more than others. We deserve it anyway!

LOVE THY SELF. Have you noticed the highlighted letters? Another acrostic form of writing. I haven't read the first one yet, you can check this article below.

The Will To Write

Thank you for reading.

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3 years ago

Comments

Loving other people is not a bad thing. But we should also love ourselves as much as we love others. Loving yourself is the key to a wonderful life. No matter what happens, never forget about yourself. You are important too.

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3 years ago

For a selfless ,unselfish and a giver like you, it is norm for you to be more concerned about other then your self but at the same time it is self love is also important and compulsory to take good of yourself.there is say that it a person that has a perfect health that can help.

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3 years ago

Yes its true that so many people around us those who soend their life in service of others or by doing their duties. Some people do have so much responsibilites of other people so they are just for them and so started ignoring theirselves. After long time when they look on theirself then they feel that they have lost a lot. So we need to love ourselves too with fulfiling our duties.

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3 years ago

It's so much easier to love others than to love myself. I think everyone knows by now, I've been through some rough times. As women, we are trained by society to be selfless, nurturing, to care for others first. It is only in recent decades that self-care has become a household term. I still feel the need to justify self-care. Mostly to myself, because nobody is telling me, "What?? How selfish are you being right now?"

Because self-care always to me feels selfish. And loving myself feels like vanity.

Intellectually, I know these feelings to be untrue. Emotionally, they are what they are.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Most mothers really forget about this term already even the breadwinners.. Easy to spell but tough to do as we only think of our priorities and burdens. Even if we want to be selfish, but our conscience would kill us seeing our loved ones struggling around.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

I think, for this reason, my husband built me a bath tub. Every evening I can spend a few minutes soaking in hot water and bubbles. Nobody else uses my tub! I am sort of a clean freak when it comes to putting my body in something underwater.

All the children are grown up and moved away so now I only have to take care of my fur babies and my read.cash babies!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

"He could not love anyone because he could not love himself" Hamlet, Shakespeare

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3 years ago

PS. I like the Acrostic formula!

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3 years ago

Easy to love others but why it is so hard to do it in ourselfπŸ€¦β€β™€. Your right ate Jane, I need to forgive myself first and be healed by appreciating what's in me so that I could love myself more.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Loving someone is already act of Self-Love, coz you are letting yourself experience the feeling of love. And I think there is nothing wrong with loving others first before ourselves, what is not right is giving all out and not leaving something for ourselves. It's always Love, Give and Save for yourself.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

If you want to help someone, you have to start with yourself, how can I help someone else if I can't help myself. The same thing happens with love, how can I love if I don't love myself, if I don't have love I can't give love. I like your acrostic writing

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3 years ago

ooooh ... so that is called Acrostic. I just call that, secret code. LOL

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3 years ago

It's McJulez challenge in case you don't know

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Oh, I didn't. Thanks for the info. :)

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3 years ago

Looks like you have done it again ate Jane, I think I will take this up as another acrostic challenge when the need arisesπŸ€—

I believe we first have to love ourself so we can be able to love others. Having self-love is one of the keys to happiness

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Go ahead.. I want to read your entry 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

How to love others without loving ourselves? We must always seek balance in everything.

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3 years ago

Loving thy self - actually we forget this when we shoulder responsibilities, more than we can bear. Its a reminder for all of us.

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3 years ago

better to respect and give time for yourself first...tama ka talaga madam...

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3 years ago

I love myself and no one loves me better, also deserve to be loved also. We give most of time to work and little time for ourselves.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

It starts within us. We can only give what we have so we should take good care of ourselves so we can give more.

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3 years ago

Love yourself to be able to fully love others ;) And learn to say 'No' is tough. I've learned within the years, and it took me some time. But we need to learn to say it. Loving these acrostics articles of yours. :)

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3 years ago

Love love love love! I LOVE the way this post was made. I need to join this challenge too

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3 years ago

You should always love yourself first . Isa to sa mga natutunan ko para maging masaya ka without a person . I mean dun nakadepemd happiness mo.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

I know. Pro hirap dn gawin.. Sana dumating ang araw na mafeel ko tlga yun.

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3 years ago

Oo mahirap man din talagang gawin pero worth it.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Indeed and agreed.. nothing wrong with loving yourself and taking care of yourself... Pwede ang "time first"...

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3 years ago

Expression sa pinas namin dati πŸ˜… .pro true. Bigyan dn ng time ang sarili hndi puro iba lng

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3 years ago

Will you believe me, Ate when I say that I got teary eyed upon reading this article of yours? Uwuuuu! Sa dami nang iniisip ko sa buhay, nakakalimutan ko na minsan si self-love. Siguro ganito lang talaga kasi may mga priorities tayo sa buhay. Kailangan lang na mas maging appreciative tayo sa sarili natin, mapagbigay sa mga sarili nating needs like rest and calmness lalo na si self-love. Soon, mas mabibigyan pa natin ng love 'yung sarili natin kapag medjo mas nakaka-alwan pa. SOON! πŸ’—

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Nakikita ko self ko syo. Bata kpa. Wag mo masyado abusuhin self mo. Magsisisi ka sa huli.. Ako patanda na so okay lng. Pro minsan. Gusto ko rn tlga magpahinga n yung walang iisipin kundi ako lng

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ang tagal na pala nitong reply mo, Ate tapos ngayon lang ako makakapg-reply ulit.

Yes, eto 'yung realization ko eh. Sa ngayon, mas nag-iisip na ako ng ways kung paano mas makakapag-laan ng mas maraming oras to rest while still grinding pa din. 'Nung nagkasakit si Mama, na-realized ko na grabe talaga mga ginagawa nya for us na ngayon is inaani na nya somehow 'yung mga epekto sa health n'ya.

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2 years ago

yep love yourself first... you have to keep filling up your own cup first because you cannot take care of the people you love if your cup is not full.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Love yourself before you can love others charot hehe. Thank you sa reminder sis kahit minsan marupok na talaga ako hehe

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Loving oneself is the most important and precious thing, we should and have to love and accept ourselves to lead a happy and peaceful life without it one can't live happily. I know it the most hard thing to do , it is difficult to accept all our flaws but we have to know at the same time if we can't do this then there will be no peace and happiness for us..

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You are true to yourself and love yourself and it's your choice to the right path that lead you better change.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Loving oneself is the greatest gift we can always give to our selfs but it's always difficult to practice at times , but is indeed good to show love to others and see them grow positively.

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3 years ago

self love nalang muna tayo ate, wala pa kasi nagmamahal satin eh HAHAH dejk. Pero honestly, love ko lang ata yung sarili ko kapag feeling ko lang haha kasi minsan nkakalimutan ko na yung sarili ko eh, bihira nalang ako bumibili ng mga bagay na nagpapasaya sakin, family pa kasi priority ko eh hihi

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Same madam.. Ganun tlga no choice kundi love ang self haha. Pro minsan tlga nkakalimutan

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Loving our self is the first step for loving others, how could we loved someone if we don't love ourselves and knew inner. Moving on is also process of "love thy self" for at the end of the story broken or forever, self will be the winner. charr mema hahahaa

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha.. Pak ganern.. But your right

$ 0.00
3 years ago

We all need to apologise ourselves. We owe it to ourselves.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Sometimes we don't even live our best self because of the hate built up within us... sometimes we say things to our selves that we cant even say to another... so this is wonderful even though those words are over emphasized in our current lives we must still live it.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

It's like we are living in other people's minds not in our own

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3 years ago

This one hits me so hard ate. I have teary eyes while reading it. How I wish I could say no to them and let myself rest for a while. I hope and pray that one day I can give myself a break.

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3 years ago

We are actually the same. It's really hard to say no especially if you are the only breadwinner of the fam

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Self love kumbaga ma'am. Para hindi na masaktan, hindi na mag assume na may magmamahal. Pamilya at totooong mga kaibigan ayos na kaysa pumasok sa relasyon na paglalaruan ka lang. Awwts hehe good evening ma'am

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Haha wala namn magmamahal kundi self lng

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Most people hardly have time for themselves these days. I hope they will be able to read this wonderful article.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Loving oneself is the first step to happiness. I realized that the more I love myself, the more happy I become. Sometimes, work and all made me forget about myself but I make sure I will make it up.

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3 years ago

Lucky you.. I forgot myself most of the times πŸ˜₯

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3 years ago

Aweee! One of these days, Ms.Jane you will find yourself again because I know you will and you can

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3 years ago

Like you said it is very easy to spell but very hard to act on I believe it is the struggle of how to make it that makes so many of us forgot about self love

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3 years ago

Challenging at first, but I guess we can get through it if we have the determination and self-discipline

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3 years ago

Yeah that's true anyways

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3 years ago

Yeah that's true anyways

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3 years ago

In this life full of insecurities, pressure, and anxiety, may we all not forget to love ourselves. In the end, it will just be us who will pick ourselves to stand from being broken and down.

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3 years ago

True...no one will help us to get back up but us..

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3 years ago

Self love is best gift we could give to our dear self. And unlike other gifts which are given only on special occasions, this gift should be given to our self on a daily basis. Thanks Jane, this was a good read.

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3 years ago

Thank for you stopping by too

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3 years ago

Worth it to read. The more you learn to love yourself is the deeper the love you can offer to others.

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3 years ago

Grabi naman nakakarami kana ako wala pa maisip na topic huehue.

Anyways basta ako mas mahal ko ang sarili ko kesa sa kung kanino. Mad maigi na yun, walang ibamg makakapanakit pag ganyan ginawa ko.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Wala kc nagmamahal satin kya ilove nlng ang self 🀣 Pro minsan nkakalimutan ko dn madam. Alam mo na sa work.. Buti ikaw sa inyo lng

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Haha, ibuhoa natin lahat sa fam and sa sarili ganorn ahaha

$ 0.00
3 years ago

it's easy to talk about self love. putting it in practice is another thing Learning to accept that one is perfect just the way one is , not feeling inadequate because of another man's opinion are all important .

$ 0.02
3 years ago

It just a matter of constant practice

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Yes, that's life. Life has different colours. Most of life loves to carry burdens. If a person is exempt from the burden, he always does upset for his burden life. Just we have to love everything taking this burden in the head.

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3 years ago

I think because we are busy grinding here and there sometimes I don't think about it anymore as long as I've done my task rl and crypto haha.. iwan kung mahal ko pa si self char.

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3 years ago

Panu nlng kya ako? πŸ˜… atleast naalagaan mo pa self mo..ako minsan nkakalimutan haha..

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3 years ago

Loving oneself is the step in the right direction to loving others too because you can't give what you don't have. We are to love ourselves because we are all we've got.

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3 years ago

That's what I lack Ola. But im working on it

$ 0.01
3 years ago

You will do just fine. I believe you can. You are really lovely...

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3 years ago

Amen to that sis! Love thyself, not only now but always :) We can only truly love another when we first love our own. It appears to be selfish, but it is not. Another brilliant writing sis!

$ 0.02
3 years ago

And I know you love yourself a lot 😁 and being loved too..

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3 years ago

We can't love our neighbor if we don't love ourselves. Even the bible said it that, love your neighbor as yourself. We need to have self love

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Indeed

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3 years ago

This is what I'm lacking of (self-love). Maybe because my family is my priority, specifically my kids.

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3 years ago

Ako mga single lack of self love dinnπŸ˜…

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3 years ago

ahahaha....naku mahirap yan..baka pag nagka-asawa at nagkaanak ka hindi nalang lack kundi no-more na

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3 years ago

Creatively written. I love how you highlighted the letters with each starting paragraph. I believe real love starts from practising self love. Whatever we do is a direct reflection of our beliefs and core values. You can't love others adequately if you don't love yourself.

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3 years ago

True..it always starts within ourselves

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3 years ago