October 12, 2021
In my 32 years of existence, I felt like I Owe Myself An Apology for always pushing myself to the edge just like @Corpsekunno, and placing other people on top of my priorities, compromising other aspects of my life. Who wouldn't anyway? Especially if you are carrying a heavy burden on your shoulders that is too tough to unload. And I tend to not care or love myself at times as I am more focused on giving care and love to others.
But I stumbled on this article of @Grecy095 about Self Love. Anyone? That made me reevaluate myself again. Am I giving enough care and love to myself? Or am I deteriorating the vital aspects of myself?
Undoubtedly, it isn't only happening to me but to most of us here who have responsibilities and burdens on our shoulders. The heroic breadwinners, the working students, the exhausted mothers, the hard-working fathers, and the struggling single parents. Even some individuals who are living for themselves are also struggling with their lives as they need to work hard just to survive from this world that is labeled with price tags and inflation is constantly evolving.
Life is arduous and that is indisputable. And living in this perilous and pricey world makes life tougher. What is too much to one is just about enough to another. But for us who are just living an ordinary life, too much is sometimes inadequate. So we tend to flex more muscles, do hustles and bustles, set aside our wants, and only think of the priorities and ways how to lessen burdens on our shoulders, or if possible, ways to unload them. It becomes heavy when accumulated over time that makes our bodies burnt out. But who cares anyway? We still need to continue to grind.
Our life seems to revolve around certain places and people only, and it is sometimes too difficult to step out. We keep on chasing the dreams of others abandoning our own dreams. We keep following the path made by others and tend to divert from our ideal path. We are working increased hours, even at home, even on holidays. Surely, we deserve time off but we always matter what other people would think if we just slack in our abode and we are also thinking of our sense of obligations. We can't even voice our feelings even though it's evident that we need to express them.
Validating our feelings seems to be not included in the dictionary, not in their vocabulary. But honestly, we also want others to patch a bandage when we cut our fingers, scrape our knees, or treat our bruises with their warm touch. We also want to be asked by others if we are feeling okay. We also want to hear encouraging words from them when we are afraid of something or feel like giving up. Someone who will say, "I know you can get through it. It will make you stronger. It will help you overcome your fear. Next time, you're already a better version of yourself." And etcetera.
Eventually, when we don't get the love and care we need from the people around us and when our bodies become burnt out, we tend to fetch up in a place that isn't in our taste. In a dark place where we can't see ourselves anymore. Where we are being surrounded by only burdens and responsibilities. We tend to forget about ourselves due to busyness. We tend to forget about self-care as no one cares about us anyway. We tend to unlove ourselves as no one doesn't love us anyway. Because what they only care about is the support we can give them.
There are cases where the loved ones feel and know the burdens and struggles, but they have no choice but to let us grind carelessly as we are the only hope of the family. For some, they choose the path chosen by their selfish parents as they serve as the yardstick of the family. I feel pity for them though, it seems like their freedom is totally robbed from them.
Hastily, we grind and strive harder just to show them that we are strong and capable. Yet, we sometimes feel that we are not good enough so we tend to grind more until we become exhausted. And even if we want to give up and only care about ourselves, we can't do that as people might think that we are being selfish. Are we? Or they are. In our entire life of adulting, when did we give much time to ourselves? When did we feel real happiness with no burdens on our shoulders?
Youth life was robbed, happiness has been deprived, freedom has been caged inside the isolated room. Bodies are slowly deteriorating. Do you feel that? Less to no more self-love and self-care. Your feeling is what I feel because we are in the same shoes. We are having the same mundane life and only once in a blue moon when we can feel real excitement, pleasure, and joy. We are also good at advising other people but we can't seem to advise ourselves. Sounds absurd right? But it's true.
SELF-LOVE? How to define it? How can we have it? The truth is, it is easy to spell but too hard to learn, and sometimes too challenging. Oftentimes, we feel envious of other people's lives and wish to have the same too. We invalidate our own feelings, achievements, and hard work because we always thought, "grass is greener on the other side of the fence." But we can't have that greener grass anyway since we are stuck inside our own fence. And all we could do is feel pity for ourselves and watch people passing by our fence.
Easier said than done. But we truly need to learn how to love and take care of ourselves. Who will suffer once our lives' equilibrium becomes unbalanced? No other than us. How could we continue our life and the dreams of the people around us if we don't take care of and love ourselves? It would be difficult to deal with it once our vision becomes distorted, our paths become more strenuous, and our lives deteriorate.
LOVE yourself, let's love ourselves. In that way, we could forgive ourselves and others and we'll have the strength to surpass the most challenging and tough times of our lives. We may not unload all the heavy burdens on our shoulders, but so much weight might be lifted off once we allow ourselves to be loved and taken care of. We just have to reach the hands of other people who are willing to help. Dump that too much pride and break that huge ego. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I've done my part, can you do yours? I'm not feeling well, care to continue my work?" Most especially, there is nothing wrong with crying when we are in pain. There is nothing wrong with shouting to express our heavy feelings. There is nothing wrong with declining their wants and giving more time for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with saying "NO" when we know we are tired.
From now on, show the world that you deserve to be loved and given care just like anyone else. Because if there is someone who can give us true love and care, it is only us, not anyone else. We aren't alone in this world. Some people are always willing to help, we just have to accept their helping hands. And there is nothing wrong with loving ourselves more than others. We deserve it anyway!
LOVE THY SELF. Have you noticed the highlighted letters? Another acrostic form of writing. I haven't read the first one yet, you can check this article below.
Thank you for reading.
Loving other people is not a bad thing. But we should also love ourselves as much as we love others. Loving yourself is the key to a wonderful life. No matter what happens, never forget about yourself. You are important too.