should I call it destiny?
If I would have known, I couldn't have fallen into your arms, I gave you all of me and now I feel so empty .you promise me you'll always stand by me, but now I'm falling and you're not there to hold me, and here am I now feeling so shattered. If I know I will not lean on you for so long, I couldn't have tried it for the first time, but I'm still wondering, why is everything like this? Should I call it destiny? , I'm confused.
I and Denis I've been together since my first year at the university. Though we are not dating then, but I chose him as my best friend and we both do things in common, we visit the library together, we go to classes together, just to mention but a few, you'll always see both of us together, though everyone feels that we are dating, but who cares. During our third year in school, we are still together, but during this time, I began to have feelings for him, then I ask myself **" Did I feel for him, or is it just an infatuation".**
The more I try I get over it the more my feelings began to grow deeper for him to the extent of waking up to think about him in the twilight, then I was thinking **" should I tell him how I feel or I should just keep it to myself? how will he feel if I should tell him, Did he also have the same feeling too? "** I was overshadowed with the thoughts of him, and I'm finding it so hard to get rid of it. I thought about him till I was carried away with sleep.
The next morning, we both see each other in school... He asked me when we will be going to the library to read, I answered him and then we both went to our classes. Denis is studying medicine while I'm studying microbiology. After school hours, we both went to the library to read. while we are coming back from the library after reading. Denis asked me if wouldn't mind going out with him at night to have some fun. With excitement, I answered "Yes" I was so elated listening to that, though I don't know his intention, I can't wait for night to approach.
We both met in the bar, and he ordered Pinot Noir red wine, we had a toast, in the process of drinking, he was looking into my eyes and I was feeling shy already, there was dead silence between us, then he broke the silence, **" I don't know how you'll feel if tell you this, I've been having feelings for you and I've been trying so hard to keep it myself, but I just feel I should tell you now, but if you don't also feel the way I felt, it's okay, I'm not going to feel sad about it, but if you'll choose me, I'll promise I'll never leave you, I'll always be there for you "** I feel like I was having some butterflies in my stomach because he's feeling the same way like I do. I accepted to be his girlfriend. we finished our drinks and as we were about to leave the bar, he held my hand, then he move his hand close to my waist and draw his lips closer to mine, he kissed me and I felt like I was on cloud nine, I have never felt like that before...
we are together till our final year in the university, but after the final year, I could not set my eyes on denis after our graduation. He travel overseas immediately after graduation, though it was his father that arranged the visa for him. but I could not believe he's gone forever, what about all his promises? would it be so easy for me to forget him? I don't know why things don't work out the way we want sometimes.....
Thanks for your time .
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Everything is falling apart?
Do you always have the taught that you have no courage to do anything when everything seems to be falling apart? You could not even find your control at that moment, and you're naive about what to do, you have the feeling within that you're losing your personality, your life seems to be crashing away and you don't even have an idea of how your life will look like after the whole trauma?
**But you have to discern this...**
There is a time in life when everything is going to fall apart, but have in mind that everything happens for a purpose, but at that moment, you might not know the reason, but when you get to a stage, you'll get to understand that it makes sense, because during this period, you'll want to try out different things in other to bring things together again, and you'll get to experience new things and be stronger.
**when everything falls apart, how do you fix it?**
It might seem nothing is working when you'll be trying all possible means to put things together as it was before, yet you have no idea of what to do, you feel lost and hopeless, even it will get to a stage where everything will be frozen, and you are stuck in the middle of the dark blue sea, all you want at the moment is for everything to come back to normal again, the way it was before seems to be better than the present condition you find yourself and then you begin to ask yourself.....
**....Why are things falling apart?**
You've not been getting the good result you want for a while, you've been trying the same thing over and over again hoping for a new result? Things don't work that way, if you keep doing the same thing, you keep having the same experience, but doing things differently will bring you closer to a different result.
Allow your life to fall apart into something new, something better, things fall apart so you can stride into a new phase even when you are not seeing the likelihood right now. Everything is falling apart because the fall will impel you to make the changes you've been afraid to make or things you've been ignoring. Just have in mind that everything will be fine, even if it doesn't seem to be in the moment.
**What can you do when you find yourself in that condition?**
Try to surrender the fear of the unknown, find the time to heal, and fill yourself with positive energy by working on your inner self.
Get yourself a supportive routine that, by creating a new one, don't be stuck to the old one's
Specify what success means to you, and get clarity on who and what you want to spend your time on.
Use the shake-up to focus on yourself to become better by establishing a life you love and have the believe that everything is going to be fine.
Spend more of your time with people who lift you and make a new plan when your plan changes.
Thanks for stopping by.
**lead image designed on canva.com**
**Thanks to all my supporters 🙏**
#maryjacycares💙
Finance - fulfillment and life goals
When we hear the term fulfill, what comes to our intellect? It might be to put into effect or attain a goal you set for yourself, but now, I'm going to write about financial fulfillment, because it is a situation whereby you are able to live your best financial life in essence.
However, I'm going to emphasize more on what is meant by financial fulfillment. It is a condition where you carried out what you want to achieve in life because you're in control of your finance. It is a state of mind that enables us to live up to our financial commitment by making a decision based on our finances to make the best life development. Where you'll be tomorrow depends on the decision you make today.
**There is some way you can be financially fulfilled, let's dive in...**
clarity: The most significant step towards financial fulfillment is to find out goals and resources in the sense of knowing what you want to plan for since you know where you are going, the next thing is to have the understand how financial desires can be applied to your current resource. Sometimes our goals can change, that's why flexibility is important when building our life plan as this will help to change strategy when we need or want.
**control:** we can impose control on our path to financial fulfillment once we know where we are and the support we need to take us to where we are going. Working with our financial start will be good at this point since we are getting what we want with what we have.
**Intention:** Untimely, where we want to be is living with our finance intentionally, it not enough just to be in control while working through our long-term life goals, what we want becomes obvious then we will not feel like **"we don't have enough"** or depriving ourselves to achieve our long-term success.
This is also the stage where will realize the risk we are taking financially, then look for a way to adjust in other to see a quick result. You are doing this because we have overriding goals that are rooted in the existence of our financial lives but not because we have reckoned through all possibilities. The intimate way we can get a **"perfect"** financial life is by living with intention.
**What happens when we live intentionally? Because life will automatically get in the way at this point.**
financial options are very technical and can be boring in nature too, we have to know the knowledge about some other industries with their historical performance and it will require a great deal to know about the taxes.
Even if you have a specialized degree in finance, none of the nitty-gritty ins and out of finance are thought in school, you'll have to think on how to go about it.
our parents don't know much more about this, if they do, most times they are not interested in discussing financial failure with their kids, so there's no way we can learn from them.
the world finance sounds like a taboo to some people in our society, and we tend not to discuss it with our friends, and even when we try, we might not get a helpful conversation.
The financial community has inducements that can probably work against you, that's the worse of all. Even **"financial consultants"** are investment product salespeople in the facade. And this is endorsed by the regulatory system that presides over them, and that's how it has always been.
So to this effect, in the weeds of financial ideas or advice, it is easy to get lost. If you should flashback to any financial conversation you have, it will seem to fluctuate around a trivial scheme, in the vast scheme of things and might end up not making any difference, but can make a difference to wall lane because they get settled when you make a change to your finances but not when you move toward financial fulfillment.
**Now it's up to you....**
So I will love to ask how you feel now about financial fulfillment, since you now have the knowledge on how to make it happen, your response would be better or great. I believe is what everyone can do but always remember your first step to financial fulfillment, which is to clarify your goals, resources, and protocols.
Thanks for your time .
`Thank to all my support , I appreciate your encouragement. And I'm sorry for not being online for one week and it was due to my rough week I'm school, it has not been easy , but today I just decided to be here no matter what... Thanks for your continuous love..`
#maryjacycares💙
letter to myself in the 5 years to come
Hello my lovely readers , hope you're all doing good? Permit me my rants, I've not been active online for the past three days and it was due to my tight schedule in school, there's is series of assignments to be completed aside that, this is also out test week in school , I can't cope with being active online.
Again, next week is gonna be more busier because exam will be starting and it will last for three weeks, though for that three weeks, I might be creating posts, but my engagement will be low, I'll try to visit few posts, I hope you'll bear with me pending the time I'll be done with my exam. I'm reading right now because I have test to write today but I'm gonna drop this little piece for myself and for all.... hehehehe
**Letter to myself in 5 years to come.**
Dear future self,
Life has been so crazy, fun, boring, the unexpected, and a lesson in opposition, you're frustrated at times, but you've always managed to wear a grin on your face. Right now, your life is one giant crossroads, I hope you have a few more things figured out by now and there are still many questions you want to ask but are still locked up.
Stop thinking about things that will make you feel depleted, you deserve happiness and there's so much more to life, be patient and stay positive while waiting for the best to come. Just because you have not gotten it yet does mean it is over, the best is yet to come, keep on trying your best. sometimes you might think of giving up, but always remember that you'll surely pass through the tunnel to the brighter side.
You've got a lot going on now, but you have to focus so that you'll not lose track and try to slow down a bit. when passing through a tough moment, try to roll with the flow, learn a lesson from it, head held high, and carry on, in all your challenges, there's something positive that you've experienced.
Try to enjoy what you've got in the present moment. Never stop holding up for hope, though you'll feel pained it will help you get through the days. In everything you do, try to make each moment. Don't ever settle for the easy way, life is too short, and I want to love the current version of you in five years. Life is not a sprint but a race, you'll have to run it till you win, cherish each moment and the experience you have got in the past years because they truly are divinely fated.
**Love you ❤️,**
**Me.**
Thanks for stopping by.
lead image https://pixabay.com/de/photos/konferenz-workshop-iphone-3677032/
**Thanks to all my supporters, thanks for loving me and I love you too from the depth of my heart ♥️**
#maryjacycares💙
Money And Wealth- The Law Of Attraction
**The law of attraction emphasizes on how thoughts play a crucial role in creating our reality..** have you ever experienced a situation whereby you had a thought about a person, then suddenly you bump Into the person or probably a phone call from the person?
However, the same thing also applies to money and wealth, the way we feel about it will determine and influence how much money we'll attain, retain, grow, lose and block.
Some people are making up to six-figure income and yet they are not living comfortably, they don't have any savings, they are into debt and have no investments, that sounds awful right?. On the other side of the range, some people earn low income and yet they have investments, they live without owning debt, and are always ambitious to work towards their financial freedom.
What is the differentiator?
Well, there are so many facets to play here making it seem so complicated, but one consistency element that I know is our disposition towards money and wealth. Those people who are always positive about it and are comfortable with the whole idea of being wealthy no matter the circumstances and regardless of how much they earn are likely to do better financially. They upswing their wealth and money to be attracted to them. Some might consider it something small, but as time goes on, it begins to accumulate, and without a doubt, their wealth will increase with consistency.
How can you know someone's mindset about money?
There's a way you can always know, it's nothing rather than their language....
Assuming a huge amount of money was sent to someone's account and the person was so excited to have that huge amount of money and was scared as well. This is a daunting and scary experience, The person might say **" I'm eager to get it out of my bank account and start investing"**. They are eager to invest their money. Hence, some people will say they are wise but the language the person used " I want to get it out of my account" shows they are scared to have that huge amount of money, indirectly what the person means is that **" I don't want this money",** sound strange right?
However, by the time you dig deeper, you'll get to understand that the person might not trust him/herself with money, and might even be guilty of having more than others and becomes triggered with the sense of responsibility which will make them to be anxious.
**According to the law of attraction, there's a probability for the person to lose the money, you be might thinking how possibly can it be?**
It's straightforward, it can be through overspending because the person was unconscious due to the huge money, Excessive gifting, and upgrading their lifestyle and sometimes it might be beyond their ability to sustain it, all they do is looking for a way to get rid of the money unconsciously.
But on the order hand, when people change and get attracted with money and also change the language they make about money and wealth, they will quickly see surplus money coming to them.
Haven't you seen people who are getting a shocking salary increase? and their investment began to grow rapidly and the financial adjustment they made is transforming their perspective about money and wealth.
It is necessary we put constructive energy behind our financial life, then we should take note of what will happen, though it might seem daunting at times, but don't forget to apply the virtue which is patience.
The world "yet" helps to reverse negative to positive when it comes to this exercise. **" I don't have enough"** can be **" I don't have enough yet"** this sounds better because you're giving yourself a better hope that you're expecting it. It is time we comprehend and scan our financial status and begin to grow.
Thanks for your time
can also be found here https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@maryjacy/money-and-wealth-the-law-of-attraction
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Unrest Situation In The present World - Sad Era With Happy Pictures
**Who are we under the mask?**
We are steering into the world of isolation in this 21st century, a world of sleepless nights and being alone with limited interactions in real life. depression and stress are eating us alive with tears in our eyes and I ask why?
Where do I began?
Masks on faces with closed-up minds and we chose to pretend, we pretend that all is good with us whereas we are being obsessed with the terror inside us. We are no longer entitled to wear our hearts in our sleeves or rather a societal rule that prevents us from showing how we feel deep down, but instead, masquerading is unfortunately the order of the day. We are bleeding inside, things are falling apart and yet we still hide our emotions even when we are dwelling in anxiety.
Welcome to the generation of young people who are most privileged and the most distracted generation. Young people are filled with vast potential and energy. The gifting remains untapped because you did not actualize the potential, Yet you chose to live a fake life in a virtual world, you spend all your lives impressing others, and you solely blame the past generation for your delinquency.
It's an era of social media, the rate of smartphones is stimulating, chatting, texting is bolstering in social media on daily basis. People want to be connected online most of the day because they want to become Instagram champions and idols, they want to become a well-known YouTubers. This generation leans on social media, you boost your self-esteem with the number of likes and comments. Outdoor sport or socializing is excluded from the plan but instead, you love to play games on your smartphones, Always busy with your gadgets on the bus or train, you spend more time with your gadgets rather than friends, siblings or family members. You tend to fight against oppression and poverty behind your phone keypad, you'll rather watch evil being carried out without reacting, but instead, you happily post pictures on social media, what a generation that takes pleasure in the arrogance of ignorance.
Peer pressure becomes the order of the day, everyone wants to show off the perfect life on social media but feels pressured when they don't meet the standard of society. People compare their life with others by determining their success criteria with how much money, the number of mansions, the Porsche or Lamborghini car you can acquire. You can see how today's generation is gripped with materialistic happiness.
There's a lot wrong with this present generation, there's an unlimited source of entertainment which makes the majority not to have a proper focus in life even in academics, they are getting poor remark.
This generation is being faced by with different kinds of health issues, talking about obesity which keeps on increasing in young people because there's lack of proper food habits, we are now addicted to pizza hut, KCF and MacDonald's, it's all regarded to as enjoyment but we are harming ourselves gradually when devouring it unduly.
You tend to impress others by all means, and when it seems you're not getting up to the standard, you find yourself in an unrest situation and this is what is happening in this present world. The rate of stress, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness is increasing consequently, it forms into depression when the situation goes on for a long term. This present generation gets depressed easily due to the inability to get off the negativity, a generation that calls fraud and prostitution a hustle, **a generation that scorns honesty and suffers from quick success syndrome, a generation that adores the rich and ignores the wise, imagines a generation full of depressed people who proudly boast ill-gotten wealth on social media, a sad generation with happy pictures, they make everything to look flashy and are capable of going naked for the gram.**
Know this and have peace
Look inward and ask yourself the measured steps you can take that would give your life real meaning, you don't have to waste your time worrying about what other people have, the only thing people value are the things that you work hardest for. Cultivate and set goals for your pursuit, this will help to give your life meaning. Work hard to make a difference by forcing yourself outside your comfort zone, put effort into improving others, care about yourself and others, with this, you'll find meaning where you may think there's none.
Thanks for your time.
`lead Image edited on canva.com`
**Thanks to all my supporters, much love 🥰🥰**
#maryjacycares💙
You Can Judge Be My Judge
I and Stephen I've been dating each other for fifteen months now, but I don't think I can recover from what he made me pass through, maybe possibly i can, but hear me out first, I'm gonna tell you what transpired between us.
It was a Sunny Friday, but that day happens to be the darkest day of my life, both literally and figuratively. On that day I was admiring the shape of my body in front of the mirror, I could picture Stephen holding my waist and drawing his lips closer to mine, I close my eyes that moment waiting for his invisible lips to intersect with mine. The picture of him in my head makes me go crazy, the voice of Stella my roommate woke me up from my daydream.
I was too anxious to meet Stephen that day, 8 hours is like waiting for eternity. He told me he was going to decorate the room with red petals and lit it up with red candles and all forms of colors. He also promises to make a delicious meal for me. That morning, I was salivating for his meal that I have not even seen. I could not eat the food that stella took her time to cook because I was waiting for that of Stephen, and I might also be waiting for something more than just the meal, maybe his meal or lips.
**But here am I now, I lost appetite for any food, I wish I could starve myself to death, I just want to leave this nasty world, Stephen even made it more miserable for me. I wish he could have told me from the beginning, I wish he could have told me that he's not looking for someone to love, that all he ever wanted is someone to satisfy his urge. Claims he loves me but I've been stupid all along. If I should take my life, people will say I overreacted, but I'm gonna tell you what happened, then you can judge from your perspective......**
After admiring the shape of my body that morning, I went to the bathroom to have a shower. I was ready to offer myself to Stephen tonight, so I want to admire it before then. I spent more than 40 minutes in the bathroom admiring myself and preparing it for a living sacrifice for Stephen because all my thought is that Stephen is for me. I came out of the bathroom and Stella told me that she prepare a meal for me, I told her **" I'm not eating, you can eat it alone, Stephen is making a meal for me"** I mustered with mischievousness.
The look in her eyes could best be described as when she meant never do cook for me again..." Ehenn, don't worry I can always cook for myself next time" I laughed so hard that she have to walk out of my presence. I said to her while leaving **"don't blame me, I'm in love, maybe you've never fallen in love before"**
It was 4 pm already, and I can't wait to go and meet Stephen, it was the same Stella that I teased in the morning that helped me dress up. After dressing up, I stood in front of our house waiting for Stephen to come and pick me up, we both agreed he will come by 4:30 but this past five already. I try to console myself assuming maybe he's still busy with the petals, the candles, and the cooking. I was feeling bored already because Stella has left, she told me she was going to the library. Instead of me staying alone and feeling bored, I decided to take a taxi to Stephen's house.
I got to his place in 10 minutes, from afar I was hearing a piece of loud music and I could conclude that the music is from his room because he was playing our best song, perfect by Ed_Sheeran, then I thought withing myself **" this is going to be the best time to give him my honor".** The smile on my face is overwhelming when I open the door I was expecting him to be filled with surprise seeing me, I was expecting the petals sprinkling around my bed, the candles in all corners of the room, and the aroma of his food to take me off my feet.
When I entered, I saw all the things he promised to do, but another thing I saw was unexpected. I saw a lady and a guy on the bed that was sprinkled with petals, they were in deep romance, and they were playing our song. The guy was my Stephen and the lady was Stella, my friend. So just give me a reason why I should not take my life? Nonetheless, I'm not going to take my life, but I was left with a scar, finding it so hard to heal.
**Note: This story is fictional, not real**
Thanks for stopping by.
**lead image designed by me on canva.com**
This can also be seen here https://ecency.com/hive-132410/@maryjacy/you-can-judge-be-my
**Thanks to all my supporters, much love from me to you all🤗💞♥️♥️💙🥰💓**
#maryjacycares💙
Hi everyone, I'm sorry for not staying offline for the last two days and the reason was that I'm not feeling too strong to come online. I'm always caught up with fever whenever I came back from school at noon or evening time and that's the only time I'm always chance to come online, though I still manage to make a post but I could not engage online.... so I think today is gonna be better, I could feel the effect of the drug I'm using ... love you all💙💙🤩🤩🥰🥰♥️♥️💞💓
Talent & Income : Making a living out of your passion
Hello my lovely readers, hope you're all doing great.
Today I watched a video talking about using our talents to create capital for ourselves and I made a comment in the video which will also reflect on the article I'm writing now .A lot of people have talents that are innate and they don't know they can turn them into a skill, it could be anything.
might be singing, writing, sport, acrobatics, being able to socialize easily, drawing just to mention but few. We can always offer these entities of ours to our societies and the world at large in other to gain capital for ourselves.
Everyone has different talents that they can use to Make moneycapital, but some people have not yet discovered this inborn talent, they are just doing anything that comes their way even though they don't have Passion for it, but they don't have choice than to do it because of the money they'll get from it. Some people also know what they are good at doing but the lack the courage to use it to generate money because they have the feeling that people will not value it. Not everyone starts as an expert, but you can make yourself one because the more you practice it the more you become better.
Hence, it very important to discovering what we have within us then look for a way to monetize it without thinking about the reaction of people toward it.. There's someone or people out there who are looking for what you are good at doing, but they will not be able to notice you if you don't showcase the skill. Though it might be very difficult in the first process of taking your first step, there might be a lot of competitors, of course, there will always be, they are are everywhere, all you just have to do is to develop yourself and be unique in whatever you are doing.
when you want to do something unique and a bit different from the norm, you have to work hard for it, people will try to discourage you, but you have to trust your intuition and stay focused. Even when you feel like giving up, remember the purpose for starting in the first place and keep going, reflect on how far you have come, and don't look back at a full length, even when you make mistake mistakes, there are some people out there who are willing to buy your mistake.
There's happiness you'll feel within when you're into something that you love doing. Some people have not found what they are good at, but we all certainly have an inborn skill, you just have to discover it, and learn how to live wholly with the income from your passion.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
**lead image designed on canva.com**
`I cannot but thank everyone for your support and encouragement, I love you to the moon and back to read.cash`
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Technology: The Positive Effects And The Negative Effects
Technology has taken over everything in our world today, both small and large work is being carried out with the help of technology, certainty, our whole life depend on Technology and Gadget. The ingenuity of technology has made human life to be easier, ancestral, and convenient. Now, imagine how life will be without technology?
We are living in ara where we tend to wait for gadgets before any work will be accomplished, even if it's something we can execute ourselves. We all know that development is essential to our society, and we do implement them according to our needs, but it has created more hazards to our health and social interaction. We spend more time online in our generation today, though it's good to have more knowledge about the around us, but the misuse of technology is becoming unbridled.
Everything has its positive and negative sides both living and non-living things in humans. We have some positive sides of technology on humans like less time to complete any task, it boosts business, increment in income generation and capital markets, it also advances education e.t.c. It also has negative effects like psychological effects, health issues like migraine, eye fatigue, backache, etc and lack, last of attention, and many more. Despite all the negative effects, Life without technology will be arduous.
It's very important to think about the excessive use of technology because it is an indispensable element that plays a vital role in our daily routine, but as we consider the positive effect on the educational sector and professional sector, the effects on our health cannot be resisted. Spending a lot of time on our gadgets harms our physical fitness like vision problems, headaches, etc. Technology becomes a problem when impeding technology with our daily life, it leads to addiction and I'm the majority of us are guilty of this. The most important thing is to understand when and how we use our gadgets.
The invention of technology is not bad, it makes life to be easier, take for instance, in the olden days, things are more difficult to achieve, like sending of message will take days before it will get to the receiver, traveling to a far distance is always difficult. but nowadays, a message can be sent to the receiver within a second, and multiple tasks can be finalized in a short time that's the beauty of technology but the misuse of it has a negative effect on us, everything should be based on moderation.
Thank for visiting my blog.
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`Thanks to all my supporter, much love from me❤️`
#maryjacycares💙
A Sword That Spiked Through My Heart
It's true that your picture still brings tears to my eyes, but I don't want to cry anymore for my eyes will become puffy, when I capture the memories we have together, it made me smile. I cherish the moment I spent with you because it's so fleeting. I wish we would stay a little longer with each other. I could still remember the taste of your lips and that was the best moment I had with you, it's so disheartening that we are not destined for each other, I've moved on,though it's a painful idea, I have no choice than to handle it. **My first love experience is a thing I will never forget.**
His smile melt my heart the days I met him. he made me high on love and I was convinced that I was in love with him because I'd never felt like that before, so that was my first experience. I could remember the day we kissed and that was my first kiss with him which made me feel the feeling of love as it was portrayed In the romance novel I once read and it seems as if I was on cloud nine because I was carried away beyond my fantasy.
As our relationship progressed, I gave him all I got to make sure he was happy, because his happiness made me happy too. **Life is unpredictable and I was made to face the reality of life, I never knew that someone who gave me joy will someday bring me pain.** He made me cry as I've never done before till I ran out of tears. I gave my heart to him but it was torn into pieces, I never thought our journey with each other will end someday and I'm finding it hard to let go because I was thinking I'll be with him forever.
At the moment when I feel like everything is over, it seems as if someone is tearing my heart apart, I feel helpless and I sobbed till I find it hard to breathe. I blame myself for everything that happened and for allowing his thoughts to take over me, now I'm lost in the middle of the dark blue sea, feeling like I want to be drawn.
**"I don't love you anymore"** The statement is like a sword that spiked through my heart, I felt lost, mystified, alone and sad at the same time, it was my first experience and I felt hopeless, it appear as if something in me is missing. Though as time goes on, I try as much as possible to make myself heal, but the scar never fades away.
That's what my first love experience looks like, Is something that can happen to anyone because you can't predict what will happen in the next seconds. I've lived and learned through my experience and that's the reality of life. No matter the effort you put in, you might not end up with your first life.
**Note:This is not real, I just fictionalized the issue of relationship about first love and I hope you enjoyed the read.**
Thanks for stopping by.
**All images designed by me on canva.com**
This can also be found here https://peakd.com/hive-132410/@maryjacy/a-sword-that-spiked-through-my-heart
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Did You Still Have To Hold On?
As humans, we struggle for things that are vital to us, but there are some things we don't need to fight for it hold on to, because the more we hold on, the more it pained. You have to dismiss your grip on whatsoever that is holding you back if you want to want to be free. Think about a sinking boat, it is a result of the heavy load inside it, though there times those things will give you joy and it will make you feel relaxed, there's no way your boat will get to the land unless if you do away with those things. You don't have to hold on when your knuckles are thinking white.
Letting go is part of our journey in life, we have to learn it, if we are not happy with the situation we find ourselves why not let it and start a new phase instead of sticking to the things that will keep on hurting you? when you let go of all those things that are holding you back, it will bring your path closer to good things to come your way. Though it might look bumpy from the start, but it's a decision that you'll take and it will make you feel happy in the end. Letting go doesn't mean that those who hurt you are right. There's a great difference between letting go and giving up.
**Giving up means you are tired and you don't have the power to continue with what you're doing, Due to some failed attempt.**
**letting go doesn't mean you are weak, you make the decision to cut things that are holding you back, and you fight hard to put things right, it might be in your relationship or any life affairs but you have to know when to resist. Letting go comes from a stance of strength.**
At the moment of letting you, you might be asking yourself if what you are about to do is right or wrong, take a moment to ask yourself, did I feel bad more than I feel good? , if yes, you don't have to hang on to things that are hurting you, you have to look for your happiness, **You're trying not to hurt other people's feelings, but you're bleeding inside,** stop it, it does not worth it. Even when people are telling you to hold tighter. If you're thinking of what people will say or do, you'll not let go, some people are having problems with you moving on, maybe because you are about to do what they are afraid of doing. They'll give you thousands of reasons why you can't move on, but you don't have to think about them, give yourself thousands of reasons why you need to move.
letting go might not be very easy, but in the end, you'll get to realize how good your brave move was. There's no need of fighting for what is not fighting to keep you, new possibilities are waiting for you if you're ready you make yourself open to them. having to let go of things is very important in life, might be painful, but the result is always sweet and you'll never regret what you did. So feeling the pain in the process is normal, it's good to cry, just turn on your music and let it go.
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Challenges: Bearing The Pricks Of Pain
When I was a child, I think everything will be achieved effortlessly, not knowing that I was far from the truth, but I'm grateful that life is not a game where we can only have one chance.......
Life is beautiful but it also has its ugly side, just like a rose flower that is surrounded by thorns. Everyone in life will be faced with challenges but they might be in a different ways. even the strongest emperor will always have their cup of woe. life is never meant to be easy, it's a journey where we will be faced with different kinds of challenges and it will seem you are on an endless roller coaster of obstacles, that's why you must always be prepared to bear the pricks of pain.
Challenges should be seen as a burden, though they might not be so easy, life will always reward us for our success. So why give up when you still have some work that has not yet been achieved. we should always meditation on the challenges we are facing then we should ask ourselves:
Why am I facing these challenges?
Did I have the capacity to overcome this challenge?
If I succeed what will happen?
If I also fail in the process what will also happen?
If we ask ourselves this question, it will bring us to the full awareness of the obstacle in front of us. The majority of people want the result but they don't want to work, is that possible? just like when you said you want gold without making it pass through a furnace. It is always good to be positive about life, we are always hoping for the best to happen, but I've ever thought about what will happen if the table turns to the tough side? As we are hoping for the best in life, we should also be prepared for the worse and when this happens are you ready to face what's in front of you and head-on?
Facing your challenge
Challenges are things that will make us to be more experienced, and facing our challenges is the most effective tool for growth, when we encounter challenges, we should not run away from them, because putting them up will not make it run away, it will rather be there without a solution.
A great man said and I quote "Worry never accomplishes anything. When you have a problem, it is best to concentrate on the solution to that problem, not the problem itself.” – Thomas D. Willhite
source https://www.teamphoria.com/10-quotes-on-overcoming-obstacles-that-will-motivate-you/amp/
We should try to look for the solution to the challenge we are facing. Complaining will not solve the problem, rather it will be complicating the issue. The faster you take up a challenge, the more it stops being a problem. We are always looking at the weight of our baggage, rather than looking for a way to lift it. Haven't we heard of those successful men and women? They are always trying to head-on, even when they stumble. They'll rise again.
Sometimes we tend to ask, is life fair?. Life can not be Fair, but the way you deal with it will determine how you'll live your life.... so it's better to face the challenges now, there's never a success without a story. You all know how hard it is for a student to burn night candles, it's always difficult at the moment, but the result is always colorful. Walk through the high ups and downs, just like I said initially, Life is not a game of one chance, even when you stumble and have to rise back on your talons. https://ecency.com/hive-150329/@maryjacy/is-life-fair
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Article can also be found here https://ecency.com/hive-174578/@maryjacy/challenges-bearing-the-pricks-of
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NO: A Tough Skill To Master
so many times, we say yes to many things we don't want to do. How often do people ask you to do something and you'll reply " sure I will'? , then two to four days later you got to realize how overwhelmed you're with a load of work on your to-do list, even though we are the ones who said yes in the first place, we become frustrated with our obligations. A simple "no" will be more valuable than whatever work the most productive person can mobilize.
Why do we say yes
There are times we agree to so many requests not because we want to do them but because of what will think or say about us, we don't want people to see us as an arrogant or rude person, or someone who is unhelpful. Saying no to someone we like might be too difficult for us because we think we might need their help. Do whatever kindness you can and be warm-hearted and know when you need to say no, straining a relationship overweigh the fidelity of our time and energy. One thing is how we think about the meaning of yes and no, we still find our commitment to the things that will not add meaning to our lives, and certainly there won't be any improvement
The difference between the word "yes" and "no"
These two words feel like they carry equal weight in conversation because they get used in comparison to each other. Those two words are different in magnitudes in commitment, they are not just opposite in meaning. Saying no means you're rejecting just one option and saying yes means you are saying no to another option, hence you are accepting one. You have already decided how the future space of time will be spent once you are committed to doing something.
No is like a decision and yes is an obligation. Saying no conserve the ability to spend your time however you want become it's a form of time credit, but saying yes means you will have to pay back some commitment at a point because it's a form of time credit.
The role of No
Turning down responsibility is easier when you're falling back on a safety net of power and authority, that's why many of us see the word "no" as a luxury that can be afforded by solely those who are in power. Saying no is one of the techniques that can help you to become successful, it is not only a privileged that is reserved for the successful among us. Saying no retains the most important part of your life because at some stage you'll need to do it to develop your career.
You have to say no to any distraction in other to be productive and you'll have to say no to whatever that is not steering you toward your goals, that's why we have to pick carefully. When you say no, it does not mean you'll not be productive or do anything spontaneous, it means you're saying yes in a focused way. Blowing out distraction will help you to say yes to what will move you to the right position
The word "no" is a tough skill to masterr, and it doesn't mean you'll never say yes when it really makes sense. If you come across an opportunity that warrants you to drop what you're doing right now, you can say yes or think twice about it, if it doesn't exist you can equally say no. Saying no might be difficult but always susceptible than the alternative.
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Which option do you dare to choose?
I wrote this article three days ago, but I did not post it, though I posted another one... I've been struggling for close to three years to publish an article, even when everything gets tough, I still make sure I publish three times in a week. Sometimes frustrating days and today I feel like giving up.
**why today?** Well, today, I want to quit the battle, today I don't have the zeal to write anymore, I don't feel like I have any great ideas and I don't feel like I have the whole time to make my ideas to be great. I think about nothing but giving up today. That's all the heart says when you feel like giving up.
**Courage, fortitude, and determination are all characterized under GRIT**
I'm going to use some grit today because grit is characterized close to success. When I feel like giving up, I always try to remind myself that Our minds are like a suggestion engine, so I cease to consider each of my thoughts as an order but as a suggestion. Right now, my mind will be suggesting that I feel tired, it's suggesting that I take an easier path and it's suggesting that I should give up.
Pausing for a minute, I also discovered a new suggestion from the same mind. My mind is suggesting that if I stick to the schedule, I will respect the identity that I'm building. My mind is suggesting that once this work is accomplished, I will feel very good about it. My mind is suggesting that even when I don't feel like, I have the proficiency to finish this task.
`Remember, as I said initially, all of these are merely options, so I dare to choose which option I'll follow.`
Discomfort is temporary.
In our normal days or week, nearly everything we do is over promptly, maybe you'll have to finish up a task to continue with another task ( task on task), you'll have to type and complete your report before tomorrow morning and do some other things as well. This article will also be completed in just a moment.
Life is easier now than it has ever been, because 300 years ago, you'll die if you don't build your own house and look for your own food, but now, it's a changed story. If you don't build your own house now, you'll rent a place to stay and if you don't plant what you'll eat, you can buy from those who plant and harvest food.
We must learn how to maintain this perspective. We should see that our life is good, our discomfort is not permanent but temporary, we must build the courage and be determined to stride into this moment of discomfort and let it strengthen us.
A great man said and I quote **" far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing "**
~ Teddy Roosevelt
Quote source https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1508120-far-and-away-the-best-prize-that-life-offers-is/
Once good work is done, you'll never regret it. Anyone can want a gold medal, but few people will want to be trained like an Olympian. We want to work easily at work so often, and we want our work to respected and helpful but we don't want to struggle through our work to gain all the attributes.
Using the analogy of the body, you have a big stomach and you want your stomach to be flat with a strong arm, but you are not ready to grind for the workout. The majority of people don't want a failed attempt that will precede the final result. You don't want to grind but you want the gold.
**Have you ever found yourself feeling worse after hard work was done?** Not at all. There are days when it is very hard to start, but it's worth finishing. Even when you have the average manner to do something, as far as you are able to show up and build the courage to do the work is a victory worth celebrating.
This is life
*Life is not an embellishment to say that our identities and lives are interpreted in a delicate balance, life is giving in between the ease of distraction or overcoming the pain of discipline because life is constant. If not for the measure of thousands of daily battles, or the decision to gut out or give it up, then what is life?*
Take every moment as your life, don't throw away any moment, spend it in such a way that will make you proud and let the world decide. When you feel like giving up, try to show up even if it's not at your best. Just do the right thing you ought to do and let the world decide.
Thanks for your time.
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Falling Apart
The spirit is willing but the body is weak... I've always made my health a priority due to past experiences... but hopefully, it gonna be alright.
I've not been active online due to some reasons, apart from school activities, I think I've been struggling with mental issues. I've been trying to create an article for the past few days that I was less busy, but I could not even think straight even when I have a lot of topics with me.. the more I try to force myself, the more difficult it becomes, I got to realize that I was dealing with the rule of life, which is the rules of drawn proofing... https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/lifewhy-the-backwardness-in-good-things-33e5f9e6
***... Everything seems to be falling apart.***
*The rain pours out the wind so bad that seems to Carry me away, still on my feet trying to keep myself together, trying to stay strong without shedding that one tear, trying to make it through the cold and harsh day. It all feels like staying in the twilight without seeing the sun, the moon, and the star then closing the eyes to allow the tears to drip down, caressing the cheeks as they make their way down the chin.*
*Don't want to face the world, but wants to hide because it seems like it getting tougher. Slipping slowly and it's like nobody is catching. Trying to empathize with the pain even though it's not the answer and it all feels like screaming because I'm losing my grip and want to fall out. It's so easy to act like it's all fine, but the demon inside haunts me every day and it feels like I'm more alone than I ever thought.*
*Face covered with a smiling face but falling apart inside and losing all control. Feel sick and find nothing so easy but trying to strive. Sometimes it hurts inside but doesn't know how to deal, and it looks like I don't have permission to feel the pain, but I'm I suppose to be that girl? dishing out motivation but none to serve myself. Am I not supposed to act tough? Ought to act like one, but feels like I'm losing the battle.*
*Wanting to be free but no matter how hard I try, the pain follows me like a shadow and I got to realize that I don't have the power but I'll never say never. Life seems like nothing but a short trip where a lot of adventure will be faced. In all circumstances, I will try to pick myself up, I refuse to lose the battle, and I refuse not to fall apart, I want to stand to face the tough minute and then numb myself to not feel the pain as I am destined to.*
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Life: Unpredictable
Hello my lovely readers, hope you're all having a good day?
Yeah, I woke up today feeling great and happy, and I have every reason to thank God for the gift of life granted to me. I was still thinking about what to write, then I remember @Aimure that I came across three days ago ...and today I'm going to write my version.
****...Been in love?****
Before I will answer this question, I Will love to go back to those days I use to tell my colleagues " na mumu dey fall in love " i.e it's stupid people that fall in love, the reason why I was saying this was because I find it hard to be in love with anyone then, my heart seems so difficult to melt, but as time goes on I was caught up in the ocean of being love, I wanted to swim out of it but I could not, sometimes I will be like " Mary are you sure you're in your right senses? I'm a catching feeling? Did I love him or it is just an infatuation? Oh no I'm becoming stupid" kikikikiki 😂😂 , gradually I was drawn in the ocean of love and I could not even come out from it .. hehehehe. yeah, the guy melted my heart, so have been in love 😊 https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/did-i-love-him-or-its-just-an-infatuation-76114024
****... Felt lonely?****
So many times I've felt so lonely even amidst of crowd. I find it hard to speak to people about what's I'm passing through because I think no matter how hard I explain, they'll not understand.. mind far away and searching for how to solve the puzzle right in front of me, the multitude of people surrounds me, but no one has the clue, no one could understand what I'm passing through, then I feel alone seeing that I'm only the one who fights hard to break the barrier right in front of me... Depression is real, it takes only a strong-minded person to overcome it.
****... Trip to overseas******?**
No no no no ... I haven't but it has always been my dream to step out from my country to another country just to view some beautiful scenery on the other side of the world... I only read from books, but I will love to be there, either go there by myself or with someone and I don't mind if you'll give me a free visa to travel overseas, yes you! I'm talking to you.... hehehehe
****....Talk to a stranger?****
So many times, infant I love talking to a stranger especially if the person is very jovial... We all human and human beings are like a flowing river we don't know where we will meet again, so when I talk to strangers...I try as much as possible to talk to them reasonably, I talk to them as if I've known them for ages, talking to a stranger is always fun to me because you'll get to share experiences, but just like u said, more enjoyable when the person is jovial... That's just me 😊
****... Ate a lot of ice cream?****
Oops, this brings me back to my childhood memories, any time I set my eyes on ice cream, it is a must they must buy it for me, I don't care where the money will come out from..but I like chocolate and vanilla flavor, they are the best for me then, but now the country is not smiling I do take ice cream once In a while and I buy it with my own money..now you can see the difference..lol
****...Fighting siblings?****
Errrrrrr , yeah I admit that I have that gentle and innocent look, but don't look for my trouble? Sometimes I'll do something, and someone that does not know me will deny that I can't do it all because of my look ( that gentle look). One thing about me, I hate to be cheated, when it seems my elder sister is cheating on me, I will rather do something that will later turn into fighting, gone are those days, but as we began to grow old, there's nothing like fighting anymore, now, my elder sister is happily married... isn't that beautiful? 🥰
****...Being dumped?****
Dumped? Habaaa! ....Just like a said to Aimure, that word "dumped" is very strong, "breaking up" is more pleasant to hear.. hehehehe, it's an overstatement, lol
Well, I don't know what it feels like to be dumbed, so I have not experienced it before and I don't hope to experience it.
****...Dumped someone****
Not at all, I haven't dumped anyone before, so I'm still with my first... Hmmm, help me with water please, this caught is not disturbing me to say something... Let me die it down there 😜
****...Make a joke?****
Of course, I'm a joker, even when I'm sad I still try my best to make people laugh and that's why I hardly get angry with what people say to me, even though it might sound like an insult to others, instead I make a joke out of it.
****... Unplanned stuff?****
Yeah, there are some times things go the way we might not think of. There are times I will be faced with different kinds of things to deal with, then suddenly something you don't think of doing will pop up and will be more important than other things I planned to do before, I don't have any choice but to attend to the most important one at the moment.. that's life, it's unpredictable, we might have our plans but the unpredictable can change it.
****...watched a movie alone?****
I don't always watch movies, but anytime I chose to watch a movie, I prefer to watch it alone in my room. Watching alone is more enjoyable for me.
****...Felt confused with life****
Sometimes I will tend to ask myself, is life fair? Because I was confused about how everything is going on, some people are born with a golden spoon and vice versa... When I sit down and check I get to realize that life is not fair, we have to carve out a golden spoon for ourselves, if it's going to be fair, it depends on our choice and it's the other way round... it depends on your choice too... Are you confused about what I'm saying? Try to read and click on the two links understand in other to understand my sentiments. https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/is-life-fair-129dd93c https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/carve-out-yourself-a-golden-spoon-1059c016
**That's just the little things I have to say about myself, my present situation, my childhood memories, and the future ( traveling overseas), and I will love to read from you in the comment section 😊.**
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2/30 Days Of Gratitude: Finding Comfort
**What does it mean to be comforted?**
In my way, comfort is when my needs have been met without lacking anything vital.
When it comes to my personal needs , self-soothing and comforting myself can help me to manage stress lever and also boost my emotional well-being. Lack of comfort can result to depression, anxiety and stress, but when you're in comfort, it will help you to fill some void , even if it temporarily, and sometimes, i find comfort in those people around me.
These are the thing I find comfort in
**1) I consider letting in the fresh air:** The territory around us can also contribute to our sense of relief, our environment do contribute to our feelings. Several people around us are experiencing sick buildings syndrome, due to construction issue ms like intrusive lighting, electromagnetic radiation and and poor ventilation.
I prevent all these discomfort by making sure my environment is well ventilated by improving my lighting and air quality. I can let the air by opening my window, this helps me to prevent additional stress. A great technique you'll find comfort in is to aware of how your environment affect you and finding ways to change it.
**2) I find comfort in creating a comforting space :** When you're having a bad day, making Your home your comfort zone can make feel good.
I try to create a space for comfort in my room:
By making it to look good and taking away the old appliances
I use an air purifier, it's always nice
I make sure I avoid area of high contrast
Decorating my rooms with themes that bring joy..hehehe
I make sure that everywhere is in order.
Designating a comfort space can help you to feel good, because whenever you spend your time there, you'll feel at peace and comforted.
**3) I show myself compassion:** We should try to show ourselves act of compassion. I try to think of what I will say to others if they are passing through what I'm passing through...I say the same thing to myself to comfort myself . I find comfort in journaling my feelings , it's might be inform of writing a letter to myself .
**4) I Consider the possibility of mindfulness:** Some times when I feel unmotivated and hopeless , I try to use positive affirmations that will provide me with a sense of comfort . I engage in deep breathing and letting those negative thoughts pass without having to dwell in them .
**5) Taking a bath:** The act of cleaning up myself gives me mental comfort, showers and bath can be too soothing and relaxing especially when you come back from a very hot sun, it will relieve you from stress.
6) I also find comfort in listening and singing along my favorite songs, it will seem I'm in could nine... Hehehehe
These are the things I find comfort in, yours might be different from mine, you can try to give me a small gist about yours 😊
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30 Days Of Gratitude: Nobody But My mother....[1/30]
Hello my lovely readers, hope you're all doing good? Yesterday when I came back from school around 6 pm I was thinking of what to write about and remember @Princessbusayo o article that I came across. It was all about 30 days of gratitude challenge, that was inspired by @Jane. Hence, I will love to participate in the challenge, I would have written this yesterday, but I was so stressed out that I don't know when I doze off while I was trying to put something down. Yeah, I woke up this morning to continue from where I stopped last night 😊. I will be starting with the first day challenge.
**A person I'm glad to have in my life**
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**M**any things and people in my life mattered to me and they have also impacted me in one way or the other. Regardless of this, there's one person in my life who has done more than enough for me, and that person is nobody but my mother, she's the person I'm glad to have in my life, sometimes I wonder how my life would have been without her, I guess miserable🥺, because she's always there to play the role of a father and a good mother.
**O**ther might have different feelings about their mother but almost everyone thinks that their mother is the best one and they will have thousands of reasons that make them think that way. Vividly, without a doubt, there are many incredible mothers outside there who will be very valuable to the people that tend to love and care for them. I never mean to convey that my mother is better than other mothers, even though I believe that my mother is great and she's better for me because we are so congenial, she's is my best friend that I can always confine in, no matter how tough it might be, she has always been there for me like all good mothers should do.
**T**he relationship I have with my mother as I grow older is more substantial to me, growing up was made easier for me because of her love and support, she has been the backbone of my life, who knows if I will be able to stand right on my feet if she wasn't there to endorse me. There is no word I can use that will give more meaning to the relationship I have with my mother, the relationship I have with my mother is more like that of a closest friend, but some children grow up and move on because they never have that kind of chance and the trend continues.
**H**ence, children who grow up without their mother do not realize how much they are missing because the friendship is neglected and this might happen because of poor parenting or other factors, but some do not transpire because there is no effort made. When Mother has a strong relationship with her child, it will make them feel like they have the whole world with them. Yeah, my mother is my world!
**E**very child will love to grow up under the care of their mother and mine is phenomenal, her abounding and infinite love is the source of survival for me, and her unselfish and genuine love is the driving force that enables her to face the physical exhaustion, she's indeed a strong, bold and devoted person anyone could wish go have. These qualities of her make me spellbound to celebrate her greatness.
“**R**ivers don't drink their own waters; trees don't eat their own fruits. The salt seasons the soup in order to have its purpose fulfilled. Live for others!” - Israelmore Ayivor
Quote source https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6869470-rivers-don-t-drink-their-own-waters-trees-don-t-eat-their
My mother has devoted and sacrificed all her wishes for me to achieve my purpose in life because my success is her success. She's always there to lead me to the right path to greatness, she will forever be a dignified entity to me.
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She's The One I Want
_____________________________
***My beloved and I cannot stay together - or so they say. Sometimes I asked myself why? Because I don't understand, although they say we are different- or so his mother stakes.***
*We are different?*
*Like how?*
*I'm disturbed.*
*On the day I and Francis went to visit his mother for the first day, she make me understand that the relationship between me and Francis Can not work out. I sit there like a log and I was tight-lipped as if my tongue is tied, I could not even find any phrase to express my perplexity, still looking mystified, Francis asked me to excuse them " wait for me in the car, I will be there with you shortly" he pleaded. He was also stunned by his mother's action. I obeyed him and leave the room, but I pose by the door and eavesdropped.* ***" I have to know why his mother who sounded so sweet over the phone earlier now looks so different to me when I finally meet her"*** *I thought to myself.*
*" mom, why are you being like this? What is the meaning of all this? " I hear him say.*
*" I'm telling you the fact, I'm not being indifferent" his mother yelled at him.*
*"The fact! Which is....?"*
***"Don't tell me you don't understand my sentiment, I said you can not marry her, no son of mine will ever marry from that tribe, and I mean what I'm saying"***
*" mum, what are you saying? But why? She's the I love"*
*"Never! There are a lot of other women outside there that you can choose from, find someone else to love, I will never allow that to happen, not today, not tomorrow"*
***"Why can't it be her mom? I don't want anyone else, she's the one I want"***
*" That's impossible, I can never accept someone from that tribe as a daughter-in-law"*
*" Why are you being irrational? I thought you are educated enough to be speaking like this, I thought you should know better" he said*
*" you dare call me irrational? Call me whatever you want, I've told you what I want and that's the final, she's not even married to you yet, she has already turned you against me, then when you end up marrying her, she will make you do the worse"*
*"mom, she deserves a chance, she has done nothing for you to treat her this way"*
***" I have nothing left to say, it's either you choose between me and her, then let me know when you finally decide" she moved away while saying this.***
*" Ah-ah, this is too much mom, you can't just........"*
`The door opened and bang, everywhere was in dead silence.`
*That was all I heard them saying while I pose by the door, I feel bittered, my heart was heavy with words my lips may never get to utter. I moved calmly in the direction of the car we brought, then another door banged and I know it was him coming out, I watched him coming over to the car, his eyes look like when he was depleted. I struggle to seize the tears that threaten to drip down my eyes soon. He joined me in the car but I looked in the other direction.*
*He took a deep breath as entered the car* ***" I know you heard everything"***
*I nodded my head because it was not so much of a question as it was a statement.*
*He tried to console me* ***"I'm sorry about everything, I promise to sort everything out, don't see my mother as a bad person, don't worry, everything will be fine, we'll be fine"***
*I smiled, a pained smile, he held my hand and squeeze it gently just to comfort me, he does not sound so confident as the Francis that I know, I can even tell from his face that he isn't so sure anymore, how can I not be worried? I asked myself.*
*I glanced from the window to look at the house one more time, who know? It could be my last time. I was filled with uncertainty. As we leave, I closed my eyes and allow the tears to drip down, caressing my cheeks as they make their way down my chin and I began to think about the whole phenomenon.*
*Families we had no choice but to be born in, identities we had no choice but to embrace, because of this division called tribe, I and my beloved can not be together - or so they say.*
*This is a short story to demonstrate tribalism and ethnicity in our community. I will love to know your view on this in the comment section.*
_____________________________
**This post can also be found** **here** https://peakd.com/hive-132410/@maryjacy/shes-the-one-i-want
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I've not been able to post here for some days due to some reasons, and when I logged in to read. cash yesterday I was so delighted with the love I was shown, I heartily appreciate @Princessbusayo and @Ellawrites for renewing their sponsorship.. thanks for the support and encouragement, I'm really thrilled.
Having A Hard Time In Making Decision?
Decision-making is one of the most important aspects of life, and for every choice, it involves making the right decision and it shapes us to point out who we are ourselves. Every choice that we make is going to impact our lives either in a bad or a good way. At some point, we will be faced with an option that will change our life forever, and just one choice that we choose can set a difference in our life and change it for the better( or worse). Our present choice today will impact how our life will play out in the future.
**But how do you make good choices? How do you enhance your decision-making skills especially when you are being opposed to different choices?**
Life is a series of choices that we make every single day, and this choice we make will affect us and those around us directly. You have to choose the choice that will give you purpose in life and will also show you the right direction. Try to visualize your choice and think of numerous scenarios that will happen if you chose one thing over the other. Sometimes there are no right or wrong decisions because both of these choices can teach you an enormous lesson in life so what you chose is just a matter of perspective, and the best reasonable choice is the one that you can visualize yourself in a good outcome.
`I'm going to list out things that you will consider to prevent you from making the wrong choice in life if you are having a hard time making a decision.`
****1) Don't choose in a hurry:**** when taking a tough decision in life, and the situation of making the choices is more complicated than usual, it is better to scrutinize and think about all the choices in front of you. Take your time to gather all information needed for each of these choices if you are skeptical about it. Rushing into a huge decision can also put you into tension. But when you take your time to evaluate each of the choices before you, it also helps you to reduce the chances of being stress
****2) Think about the positive outcome:**** when making a decision think about how it will play out and visualize your options if it shows a positive outcome in your mind. When you make the right decision, You'll make the right choice.
****3) Don't make a choice that you know you will regret in the future:**** We do regret some choice we have made or will be making, instead of regretting, we should change our choice instead of choosing something that we think we will regret somehow, don't just think about what's good right now, think about the long term, make choices that will be important for you in the future. E.g, spending much money on your want instead of need, and after a time, you end up needing money to meet up for your need, thus, you end up regretting your purchase at a later time.
****4) Take a choice and stick to them:**** You'll have to decide to stick with the choices that you select regardless of the challenges and occurrences that come with it because a decision is more like a commitment. But in a case that the choice you picked is not good at all, you don't have to regret it, instead learn from the mistakes, this will make you make a better choice the next time around and you'll be able to know which would be the right one for you.
****5) Trust your intuition:**** You can always trust your gut in a condition wherein you need to make a quick choice, and you don't have the time to review your choice. If your gut is obliging you to opt for a direction, go for it because our instincts are much right than wrong most times. Trusting your instinct is like trusting yourself, so if you feel like you made the right choice, hence it's most likely than not.
#Thanks for visiting my blog.
**OfShout out to my ever supportive sponsors! And I cannot but appreciate** @Princessbusayo for renewing your sponsorship...❤️
`To my upvoters, subscribers and commentators, thanks for the love and encouragement, I love you to the moon and back to read.cash`
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In Pursuit To Discover Myself.
*Sometimes I think about how crazy life can be. It's totally uncertain.... Sometimes it's pushes one over and kick you while you're down, it will slam you even when trying to get back up. Though everything won't beat you, occasionally are going to change But you will have to choose which one will change you.*
*I've been on a quest to detect just who I might be for the most of my life, Day after day, I've been searching earnestly and I was so desperate to recognize myself. There are moments I could not go on, and I've moments of utter comfort, To succeed, I knew I would have to be strong for the sake of my heart and soul.*
*I feared I might be on my own because the people around me seemed so renounced themselves. But there's someone who would remind me I wasn't alone And will reach out to help. I've wanted to know what it was to feel peace, And I've wanted so much to be happy, I thought if I felt sure of myself, The discomfort and the struggles would cease.*
*The discoveries are new every day, and I've learned that this journey is infinite, Though there are times I will still lose my way no matter how much I might know of myself. I truly believe that I may never know all I can be as I grow older. have constantly been laid right inside of me but the answers are not waiting out in the world.*
*In my own way, I'm in pursuit to discover myself, I hope to feel better someday by overcoming whatever might get in our path. But no matter how tough it might be, I will try my best not to wander too far from what that matters and what's really true. At the end of it all, I just have to be me. Because in this life, I don't have to be perfect, but striding toward perfection.*
...Thanks for visiting my blog.
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Embracing Imperfection
It took me hours to think about perfections and imperfections, though I have all the clues and experience on what to write about, I was just waiting for the perfect sentence and the perfect message before I will start to type. I think the "perfect" ideas will come to me at night when everywhere is calm or early in the morning when the brain is still fresh, but when I grabbed my phone to start typing I could not think of any idea, I found myself clasped in the writer's block spin-cycle for hours because I was unable to think about a **"perfect"** opening line, but at the end of it all, I came up with an idea while I was in a public vehicle moving from Lagos State, Nigeria to Ekiti State, Nigeria. ( This Is just to emphasize more about perfectionism)
**What are your perfect imperfections?**
**How do you share your story ? and**
**How can you explain your struggle bravely to others, letting others know how you succeed and how they can do it too?**
Perfection is the standard that everyone aspires to when we are trying to achieve the unthinkable. But at times, we become less perfect in trying to be perfect. Perfection is always an assumption that we make but we can not perfect at all times because being imperfect is the reality of nature. But despite the imperfection, people are still able to rose to a great pinnacle. Perfection to me is an unattainable endpoint while imperfection is the standard with the tough signature of reality
Great Stories start with imperfection, most people who are successful today don't aren't handed life on a silver platter, they faced difficult challenges and upbringing, but they were able to overcome their adversities. There's always a first struggle with some form of distinguished imperfection in almost meaningful victory.
**Strength through Vulnerability - communicate Authentically**
People do affirm what is relevant to share, and how much information will not turn into too much information. We feel scared and worried about bout bout bout bout showing our vulnerable side because we feel it shows weakness. The majority of people avoid it even though it has an amazing benefit that comes from sharing who you really are.
Our vulnerable spot is our imperfection- These are the areas we are afraid to bit because of the risk, emotional exposure, and uncertainty. However, facing our imperfections and embracing them is the greatest measure of courage. You'll be amazed at the greatness that will come when you make yourself to be open to others. We are to find our perfect imperfection and then allow others to appreciate the beauty of our struggle when we share the inspirational story, this can only be made possible If we are ready to embrace the shake.
**Note**
*If everything is perfect, life will be so boring. When everything is perfect, there will be nothing to strive for. Most of our memorable moments occur when we are trying to overcome our complications. Life would not be fascinating if everything was easy to execute, so we have to embrace imperfection.*
Thanks for visiting my blog.
Lead image designed by me on canva.com
**Shout out to my amazing and supportive sponsors!**
`To my upvoters, subscribers and commentators , I appreciate you for your support, will always love you to the moon and back to read.cash`
*I'm very sorry , I've not been online since morning, not been too long I came back from my journey , then I decided to post the short article that I managed to write while inside the car... I'm going to make it up to you guys tonight❤️🤗*
**Related article:**
Perfect..... let's rapport with quotes https://peakd.com/hive-150329/@maryjacy/perfect-let-s-rapport-with
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Are you in control of your life?
The majority want to experience good health, be respected, accept themselves and also have a supportive partner. You need to get back in control when you feel tedious, hectic, or imperfect. Those things that hold value in life needs time, effort and it might also discomfort is along the way, but in all, this should not stop you from being the person you want to be by making your lifestyle modification and being productive
**There are some things you can do if you want to have control over your life.**
**1) Take control of your life:** what does taking control means to you, is it the ability to keep your negative behavior in check, regulate your present, or do you want more motivation?. You'll need to work through multiple challenges of you want to take control of your life, building self-confidence and taking action by determining what you want to take control over.
**2) Accept yourself:** You have to know and accept your strength and limitations because that Is the first step to succeeding in anything you want to do. Accept not only the good side of you but also the bad too, try to understand why you do what to do, and try to forgive yourself because self-criticism feeling guilty is unproductive. Improve what you don't like, and try to comprehend that you have done the best you could, invariably reminding yourself that there are healthier ways to work things out for yourself.
**3) Consider your values:** Get your priorities by determining what your values are, know the things that are important to you, or might be happiness, freedom, money, Family, etc. Think about what you can do to support your values, whichever one it could be. Decide what you will have to do to stimulate your self-esteem and satisfaction with life, then decide about the person you want to be in terms of behavioral patterns and the life you could have after that.
**4) Cultivate good character traits:** You will gain more control over your life when you improve beneficial character traits and virtues. This is because it will give you the courage, wisdom, and self-discipline to obtain your goals.
**courage:** Having courage will give you the strength to attain what you want or need despite some form of accomplishment.
**Wisdom:** This will help you to gain knowledge and experience to carry out your service to humanity effectively. You can gain wisdom by trying new things, it might be a trial and error, but in the process, you'll gain more experience.
**self-discipline:** This is mandatory in gaining control over your life because this will help you to put all your intention into action. You'll practice achieving smaller goals on the way to accomplishing a larger vision.
**5) Decide what motivates you:** Think about what you would do in life that will make you feel good because many of us have a passion, I.e something that will inspire you as well as skills and talents that drive you to succeed.
**6) Control of your emotions:** Improper emotions can harm your ability to attain your goals. Know how to respond to your feelings in a way that is healthy and helpful to you. Don't let your emotion determine your response to a situation.
**7) let go of baggage:** In one of my articles, I talk about letting go of baggage - **THE HEAVY BURDEN**. Sometimes it's difficult to let go of tough times because you have the feelings that define you or you may be afraid to be without them and you may have the feeling that it doesn't determine your worth. Learning how to let go of baggage will help you to control your life. Though making amends may not repair a defect, but it can help you to let go of the past and move on without having to judge yourself. https://peakd.com/hive-150329/@maryjacy/the-heavy-burden-let-it-go
Thanks for visiting my blog.
image was created by me on canva.com
**Shout out to my amazing sponsors! I cannot but appreciate** @Olasquare **for renewing his sponsorship, it's such a huge blessing to me, thanks for your support ❤️.**
`To my upvoters , subscribers and commentators, thanks for your encouragement, you really mean a lot to me, I love you all to the moon and back to read.cash`
**This post can also be found** **here** https://peakd.com/hive-190212/@maryjacy/are-you-in-control-of-your-life
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Change
*Lead image* https://pixabay.com/de/illustrations/f%c3%bcnf-vor-zw%c3%b6lf-time-for-change-1156776/
*Change is inevitable and it is rightly said that nothing in life is permanent except change and one of the dominant changes we experience is time. As time goes on in life, we meet with different people, lose loved ones, and go to different places. We must learn how to embrace change since we can not avoid it. However, change always has its good side because change comes with a lot of opportunities and experiences that will be for our good*
***You might ask, why is change good?***
*Life will become dull and uneventful if everything remains the same for a long time. As a human, we feel bored when we keep on seeing the same thing but becomes excited when we come across something new. That's why it is important to change our ways and deal with things with a different technique. It is important to think about a way to make a positive change and be prepared for it, but you won't be able to achieve your goals if you are not flexible enough to change your intellect. Change is often resisted because we felt that it will have a negative effect on us, our careers, and the world at large, so many of us fear change*
*We have to leave our comfort zone before we can adopt change and you'll also get the feeling that you are no longer a slave when you decide to change some things in your life. If there's no change, our life could come to a deadlock, change is like a fuel to our life that helps us to move on.*
***I will be mentioning a few reasons why change should be accepted as a good thing.***
***1) change makes us to move on in life, by encountering new exciting things:*** *Being able to work on yourself can bring about changes that you thought will never be possible. When we don't work on developing ourselves actively, life can become stagnant. Change unlocks opportunities that you don't know will be available for you.*
***2) change enables us to replace the old worn out things in our life with useful new ones:*** *We all have that favorite cloth that we love but doesn't fit anymore or look old now, it is time to let them go to replace them with a well fitted one, this concept helps you to breath a new life into your home*
***3) it's good in changing our emotions to overcome sadness and pall:****All emotions might be reasonable, but we have to realize that wallowing in negative ones will always make us feel down. It is important to realize how we feel, then we should permit ourselves to be in that state for a set period how we feel changes the outcome.*
***4) Changes bring innovations to life and make it easier with time:*** *think about the internet years ago, imagine using a typewriter or a dial-up internet, sending a fax instead of an email, or there's no online shopping? Change is happening constantly everywhere, not only within us. Our life is made easier with the change happening around us every day.*
***5) Accepting change makes us to be more stronger :*** *At first, change can look so scary to you , because there are so many unknown. But once you've experienced that change does not usually turn out bad as you think, you'll feel confident to make a positive change. When you have tools inside of you, You'll be stronger to face any changes.*
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*#maryjacycares💙*
Gaining Self Respect
Lead image https://pixabay.com/de/illustrations/respekt-akzeptanz-mitgef%c3%bchl-anstand-952439/
Today I've been a very busy day for me that I could not come online. Yeah, our school has resumed today and I have to go back to school. But ever since I get to school I've been so busy and my phone too is not charged...
Oops! I've gotten, I make my hair today, I would have shown the picture here, but unfortunately, I have not taken any pictures with it.... hehehe
`Enough of the whole paparazzi, now to the main reason for writing this article.`
Self-respect is a way of treating yourself accordingly, knowing that you love and relief like everyone else. We will be surrounded by people who respect and treat us how we want to be treated when we develop healthy reciprocal relationships.
In today's digital world, the majority of Instagram and Tik Tok users engage more in social comparison, which makes them feel worse about themselves. Self-respect will prevent you from comparing yourself and your life with others.
Showing respect to yourself doesn't mean you are egocentric or conceited it does quite the opposite, in return, we gain respect from others when we respect ourselves.
There are some methods for practicing self-respect:
**1) figure out what makes you respect yourself:** Ask yourself what drill makes you feel your best, when you realize those practices, try to pay yourself the respect by prioritizing them daily.
**2) Be honest about who you are and who you aren't:** Don't hesitate to do the things that make you feel good not only with yourself but with others. Do everything with honesty and let people know the real you.
**3) Don't let other people define your boundaries:** Some people have the intention of carrying out a particular task/goal, but the advice they got is often indistinct with their emotional baggage. Whenever you are being told " you'll not be able to do it" or "you Can't" you have to figure out yourself what's true by Ignoring them.
**4) learn how to say no:** letting others know what you don't like doesn't make you a bad person, but a respectable person. You'll get to create time and energy with things and people that make you happy when you stop saying yes to things you don't want to execute.
**5) Apologize with self-respect:** it's sparse pleasant saying "I'm sorry", and if you're going to do it, don't hesitate to make it count! Learn not to make excuses when apologizing, because when you do so, it's disrespectful to the other party and your integrity.
**6) Don't talk down on yourself:** Don't be in the midst of people and be saying " oh my God, I hate how fat I look" or "I'm so ugly". Never talk down on yourself because when you do so, you're permitting people to do the same.
**7) Don't be a talkative:** know when to speak and when you should keep quiet, you don't always have to say what you are thinking, try to ask " is it going to make sense if I should say this?" You don't have to say everything that crosses your mind.
**8) set boundaries:** whenever people do whatever you're not comfortable with, let them know, either by your body language or by saying it, you don't have to keep quiet when things are going the wrong way.
**9) Avoid unnecessary gossip:** You don't always have to be in people's business, you just have to face yours because generally, people disrespect gossipers.
**10) Respect others:** Respect they say is reciprocal, more than 80% of people will respect you when you respect them, you just have to put down your ego and do the right things you ought to do with others.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
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`Thanks to my subscribers, upvoters, and commentators, you're my source of inspiration and motivation, thanks for the love you all showed me, will always love you to the moon and back to read.cash.`
**I'm sorry for not being online, because of today's schedule, and I'm very tired now, I have to try to write this article, but after This, I will try to rest my head, but I will make Sure to attend to all my notifications whenever I wake up, my eyes are heavy now, I cannot afford to crawl at night today.... thanks**
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Stop Being Hard On yourself: Letter To My Dear Self
***Dear self,***
*I'm so proud of the woman you're becoming, life hasn't been too easy lately and I'm sorry about the pain I've made you pass through. But despite all the challenges, you have managed to continue fighting and you have kept your head up. Be proud of what you've become and everything you have gone through. Everything is going to make sense one day, so stop being hard on yourself.*
*Remember that everything happens for a particular purpose, you're still at the right place you ought to be. Take your time to breathe, be patient, and then trust the course of your life. Accept life for what it is and Accept realities as it comes. Try not to let others get you so take everything personally. When people hurt you, forgive them and try to understand their side of story because not everything is always how it appears, learn from their wrongdoings and let them remain in the past.*
*Accept the things that make you different, you are perfect in every way, especially with your flaws. Try to embrace everything that makes you unique. Even when you are broken, try to see the beauty in your pain, you have always been stronger than anything that has tried to tear you down. You are not a victim but a survivor. We Both know you are doing the best you can, so with this, try not to be hard on yourself, instead, create a meaningful life for yourself that you can be proud of.*
*Promise me that you'll make the most of it all without letting anyone get in the way of your goals in life. Never waste your time on people who do not believe in your dream, you don't need anyone like that in your life. That's very important. Shroud yourself with people who encourage and inspire you.*
*Stop thinking about things that will make you feel sad, you deserve to be happy because there's so much more to life, be patient and stay positive while waiting for the best to come. Just because you have not gotten it yet does not mean you don't deserve to be happy. Try to love yourself completely before you even try to love another. Be selfless and not selfish, try to be kind to others, be a good friend, and try to love as you have never seen pain before, but if you can't, just make sure you find enough love for yourself.*
*You have been through a lot and you have come out to the winning end, you never let the world break you even when trying to. Your past has made you a better person today, thanks to your past. Let go of people that are not meant for you, thank you for being so tough without giving up. Accept things the way they are, stay strong, and make them wonder how you do it. You know that you deserve the whole world, above all, be true to yourself.*
***Love you❤️,***
***Me***
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Scared of darkness 🌚
Lead image https://pixabay.com/photos/question-question-mark-opinion-poll-2736480/
Hello my lovely readers, hope you're all doing great?
As I was battling with writers' block today, I remember @Aimure's post that I read yesterday; A night of dreams. I decided to take part in answering the questions too, yeah I was saved from writers' block. https://read.cash/@Aimure/a-night-of-dreams-768b6bba
`To the questions, it's just about me`
**Light on or light off?**
To be honest, I'm scared of darkness, so I don't find it easy to sleep without light, I rather prefer to sleep when the light is on. Even at times, when the power supply did not bring light for days and my lamp is low, I cannot help but to on the light of my phone, even though the battery is running low... Hehehehe. So I'm a fan of light 🤣
**Light or Heavy sleeper?**
The level of the stress I passed through during the day Will determine the kind of sleep I will have, if it's s stressful day, I will just sleep off like a log of wood, I might not even shake talkless of waking up, not until 6 am, but don't mind me, I'm not a bad sleeper as you think 🤣, but if it's a stress-free day, even when I sleep, I can still be conscious of what is happening around me.
**Fan or no fan?**
I and heat don't share barriers, I find it difficult to sleep when I feel heat because my body will be itching me. Even when it's cold I will still on the fan, that's to show my love for a fan.
**One or several pillows?**
Kikikikiki 🤣, I can't stop laughing when I see this question, the thing is, other people, use to lay heads on the pillow to sleep, but I use to cuddle mine..so crazy. So I don't need several pillows, 1 pillow is enough for me.
Thee reason why I don't lay my head on the pillow is that I use to have neck ache anytime I use it, so instead of leaving it to be useless, I'll rather cuddle my thing and I'm addicted to it already...🤣🤣
**Early in bed or a late sleeper.**
I use to be a night crawler before, that's almost every day, but there was a time I become so sick and I have to minimize the things I do. My health is paramount to me, So now I fall on both sides, sometimes I sleep on time and vice versa.
**Thin or thick blanket?**
I don't like covering my body while sleeping, so if I will be going for a blanket, I will go for a thin one just for convenience.
**Pj or comfy clothes**?
Mostly comfy clothes always have weight and cannot be easy for me to sleep, normal I don't like putting on clothes when sleeping, I prefer to be on my underwear, but if all I will be choosing from the two, I'll be going for short pajamas, I can still be comfortable with it, the long pajamas can still make me feel uncomfortable.
**Drink Milk or water?**
Oops! I don't care if I just woke up from sleep, if I see liquid milk, I'm going to take it instead of water.
It's one stupid I've done before, I just woke up that day, and instead of drinking water, I remembered the holladian milk I did not finish boom! I rushed it immediately after I woke up... Silly me 🤣
`These are just a few things about me, including my silly acts.. hehehehe, you can also share yours in the comment section, I care to know 😀`
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Wooot! I was surprised seeing this! Thanks @Aimure for the sponsorship, it really means a lot to me 🤗🤗
@Maryjacy
