Full of procrastination today arghh, and so I decided to write something light today, you know some craziness and funny things. I mean, just my thoughts and my nonsensity. And who would feel productive today right if the weather is just so good, so sweet and so cold ahhhh, definitely not me. But you know, now that I finally feel this cold weather I can finally see the truth that yeah he is so much colder than the cold weather today.
I can't even break the wall he build for whatever reason. I just can't and it's sad, I really want to get inside and see the real him. I want to use something hard so that I can use it to break the wall but sadly even the heavens doesn't want me to do that. Maybe they just know that I am the only one who'll get hurt in the end That's why I just accepted it, I can't do anything about it right? I mean, who am I? I'm just a girl who loves to eat a hard foods.
I am just me, a boring and a not so pretty girl unlike the others. I don't dress up, I never learn to do make ups because I'm lazy af and I am really a boring person with full of insecurities in my body. All I have is my fats that I learn to love now that's why I'm adding more carbs in my body coz why not foods is life and my fats in my body need more companion and that's why I love to help them by adding more of it. Is that weird? I think not.
But anyways, I'm sad because of that and I'm sad again because I want to eat Angel's footlong but I'm having a second thought and I don't know what's really stopping me. Is it the thought that when I buy it now Mommy won't eat it because of her arthritis? Or I'm just to kuripot to buy again? Either way, what's saddened me the most right now is the thought that I can't think clearly right now. I can't finish my article because of my sh!t.
And you know, I just lie on my bed all day while listening to a good music. I already finish Simple Plan songs, same with All Time Low and Amber Pacific and what's playing now is a Mayday Parade song. Oh gosh, I really love my playlist right now. And guys, I get these all in Telegram thanks to the bot yayyy. You want to take a peek? Okay wait.......here 👇✨
This is my another companion aside from my fats. They are with me in times of hardship or when boredom strike and when I am suddenly succumb of sadness. They are with me all the way. I don't have a friend so having this is a big help to me. I'm not really good with people and I don't know how to communicate with them. I may be talkative in here but when you meet me in person, nahh it's different way different when virtually.
Okay back to the one I'm talking above. I just want to get emotional today because the weather is with me in my gloominess. I just can't help it sometimes. I think being a poop is much better that be like this. He's coldness and is effecting me so munch that I want to be a cockroach right now and travel to wherever he is right now and bite his balls. Am I bad for thinking that? It's actually my fault why I'm feeling this and tss it hurts.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, alright I'm just kidding I'm actually messing with you all. I just want to mess around and see if you will believe me. I'm sure all of you believes it? Did you pity me? Or do you want to get here and give me a big hug? I mean, that's what you thought? Hahahah some of what I said above is half real half fiction. I know you don't give a damn but I'm just saying. I just want to talk randomly really hahaha.
I'm not brokenhearted because I already moved on. Or wait, did I really move on if just one banat from him is enough for me to have this wishful thinking, to make my heart beat fast and be hopeful that maybe just maybe there's a hope? What do you think? Or do you think I'm still messing with you all to make your brain hurt from thinking how messed up this article of mine? What? Do you think it's real?
How's your brain so far? And about my title, well it's a code and you will never guess it rawrrrrrrrrr.
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December 03, 2021
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Awee i wish i have the same energy as you have ms. Ruffa. You always have that light and giddy vibe.