I know you, it's slowly changing. Just a little push and I can finally get it. You let your guard down I'll crawl in you vein, you won't ever gonna stop me I'll run inside your brain. You know I have this crazy goal just for you. I will crack your brain open and put some crazy idea on it. It'll be fun but a bit dangerous. But don't worry, you have me so no need to be a pussy. I'll be your guide, we will go inside we will dig some gem and you can find a dime. You will never get that in you life but here you can get everyone not just one but a lot of brain - err friend.
You have to listen to me if you want that to happen. But if not, then you can be alone forever in that one corner of your bed. Do you want that? Still crying in the corner accepting their bitching and bullying? You have nowhere to go on and no one wants to be on your side. They look at you like a maggot or like some virus that they don't want to get in touch. You will only get a heartache and it's painful than your cut. Don't you want something different, where you don't need to slit your wrist? Instead, what's waiting for you is happiness in feast.
You'll gonna enjoy this, No! No! You will love it that's for sure. You will get a never ending happiness here and you won't ever experience that never ending pain. And those people that hated you? You can watch them suffering and it's your time now to laugh at them. You'll get anything here and you'll be this kingdom's king. Don't you want that? Or you want more? I can give it to you just let me in and give me a bit of control - I can help you think and I can help you act on your own. Isn't that amazing that you can have someone on your side who will give you an advice about everything in life.
I can be the button for you to have a normal life, I can be your saviour from those lowly life who's trying to break you apart. Those lonely nights? You will never experience that again. Because you have me and the others and will save you from unhappiness. You want that right? You know you really want this so why take time to think? Why not decide now and get this hand that I'm I'm trying to lend. I promise you'll get a good life just trust me in this one. So now give me your hand and will make use of that, we will put it into good use and everything will fall into rightful hand.
Yes, like that! Do that and will start right away if you want, I'll even throw you a party when you arrive. Sadness no more but you can get mad. Get crazy, be bold I mean you can do anything that you want. But before that let me tell you this goal that I'm talking about. Once it's done you can start the party and live like that forever - no one will stop you yes that. Now close your eyes and feel me inside. Listen only to my voice and we will have deep talking for your future, yes you heard it right. It's for your own good now look me in the eyes. "We will die together because life is just so hard."
Get your knife under the bed and go to the bathroom and fill the tub inside. Don't put anything in the water because we will color that in red. To make it more special why not open the cassette and play your favorite band. Because it'll be the last time that you can enjoy their song. Don't worry it will not take your time and we will make it painless. That even if you see your blood drop you will never feel anything. Now remove anything and get in the tub in your birthday suit. Feel the cold water and make your mind fly. Think about nothing and enjoy this ride.
Slowly, struck your knife in your wrist and push it deep. Now watch the water filled with blood, it's your blood and you gonna let it flow until the pain was gone. Remember those people who curse you and kill them in your mind. So that while you're leaving this world you can taste a little bit of happiness. Don't worry, youre safe now. You will forever sleep in your chamber and then bye bye.
I'll just leave it here. And don't ever let those voices crack your will. Coz if you do, you already know what's gonna happen.
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October 28, 2021
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I actually remembered saying all this to myself weeks ago, so deep... the cry just keeps going on and on but we don't let it burst out...