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Becoming A Mom (Happy Mother's Day!)

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Written by   1237
3 months ago

Today is mother's day, there's a lot to tell about becoming a mother, if I were to tell every details probably I can make a book. But I'm not gonna write about it, I just remember I had poem composition way back that I publish in here.. because it's mother's day, until now the past is still vivid in my memory how I became a mom. Some of you never know I have a poetic side as well.

I'll let you read one of my composition that was intended for those parents who are not ready becoming a parent but chose to be responsible with their actions and how the child brings joy afterwards, that everything is worth it.

❤️You Are My Sunshine

I was perplexed,

Seeing the two red lines of a tool

Called "Pregnancy Test".

Mixed emotions, covering my mouth

And let the teardrops down.

I wasn't ready to be a mom,

I don't know how to be a mom,

I am 24 but I'm still scared,

Scared to become a parent,

Hurriedly get my phone and capture that tool,

Send it to your Father,

Your father was puzzled too,

He isn't ready too.

I am confused, so confused about how I am going to raise you!

I myself have a hard time to understand me,

How am I supposed to be a parent?

When I didn't get any parental guidance?

How will I raise you, my child?

Should I get rid of you?

No! The inner me shouted!

I am not stable, your father isn't stable

We're not ready!

Should I bring you to misery?

Heaven, what should I do?

I cried, I let it out.

Worried a lot,

Despite being unsure,

I didn't harm you inside...

Thinking out loud, talked to your father once and for all,

We decided,...

Decided to embrace you!

Yes my child! We will raise you.

We will take care of you....

We will love you unconditionally,

When you're still inside, I was scared

Scared you will face this cruel world,

So cruel enough to ruin you,

I will protect you! We will protect you!

Parental instincts shouted!

Oh! My child do not be weary,

I wasn't ready but will going to nail it.

Finally, you are out!

My heart, my heart is filled with joy...

My heart is rejoicing!

You are the joy, once I never had

I never thought you will be my sunshine...

My sunshine, who will ease my

Melancholy heart.

Source: You Are My Sunshine

The poem was really inspired by my experience, I'm not ready to be a mom back then. I was so broken, a broken soul that has a lot of extra baggages and I am so unsure if I can raise a child knowing I am emotionally not stable.

As some of you knows, I grew up with so much emotional torture in my environment. I was bullied, I was hated by mom back then and all people surrounds me doesn't like me.. because of that I was so broken that I don't know where should I placed myself.

I was in Manila before when I got pregnant, I am working in there and I am not sure if I can feed the baby well because her father that time was also jobless. I am just a minimum wage earner and I also give a little amount from my salary to support my siblings, that made me think “how can I raise a child? I don't want her to end up being miserable like me!”

But despite all the uncertainties, I didn't think of harming or aborting her. I know how it feels to be unwanted, it broke my soul to the core.. even if it was only two weeks of pregnancy I can't dare to kill it, as it already has a heartbeat.

I embraced the child, even if I'm so scared of becoming a mom because I know my life will turn upside down even more..

But you know, after I saw her.. my expectations that my life will turn upside down even more is the opposite. When she came, I experienced real joy in my heart. Even if life is really shitting us, everything is worth it because having her gives me directions in life.

(You see, even if I am trying to pose she's in the background haha, maybe 5-10 years from now she'll be taller than me 🥺)

With her, I am not alone. Coz right now, wherever I go she's with me. Even if my freedom was lost, I found true happiness by becoming a mother.

Happy mother's day to all mommies out there! Please know you are awesome!

To my mother: Ma, I know how hard our lives has been before, although I resent you a lot but as I grew up and become a mom myself I understand you better. That is why I always believe Rayleigh has been a blessings in disguise just so we can reconcile. I love you and still love you despite of everything.

Shout out to my sister's who visited to great us on mother's day, and bring some foods. They made the day a little special. Thank you so much! @Misz_BotipolJen_07

Thank you for reading!

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Date Published: May 8,2022

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Written by   1237
3 months ago
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Comments

Happy mom's day sayo!

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Iba talaga kaag nangibabaw na yung pagiging ina noh. Andun yung takot, what ifs pero kapag nakita mo na yung anak mo eh lahat ng yun mawawala lahat...

Happy mother's day sayo at sa Mama mo sis.

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3 months ago

Happy mothers day po sa inyo I know your sacrifices as a mother is worth it because you have a cute and beautiful daughter

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3 months ago

Motherhood is stressful and you're rocking yours well. Happy mother's day!

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3 months ago

God bless the mothers of the world. Happy mother's day from here 🌼🏵️

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3 months ago

I know being a mother isn't easy and all, but for real, how many mothers day do we have in a year, thought we have done it before, and we are doing it again.. Besides that little baby girl looks so pretty, happy mothers day to you 😁

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3 months ago

Still not too late pa naman siguro, but Happy Mother's Day byang ☺️

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3 months ago

Happy mother’s day to you.

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3 months ago

Mothers are strong, kind and caring. Happy mother's day Eybyoung.

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3 months ago

Naalala ko Yung poem mo na Yan may entry pa nga ako dyan dati hehe.

Happy mother's day

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User's avatar Yen
3 months ago

Happy Mother's day sis! I love the poem and your story, your courage for this little girl is admirable!

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3 months ago

As they say, no one is ever ready to become a parent, it will be bestowed upon you even when you are not expecting it. TBH, I have always wanted to be a dad, and that's even a decade ago, and still, I still want to. But so far. nothing yet/

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Hmm, I guess so.. nobody is really perfectly ready to be a parent but when the situation is there everything will fall apart as time goes by..

Hmmm baka kasi di ka rin gumagawa kaya wala pa hahaha

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3 months ago

Haha gumagawa naman. Puro gawa nga lang. Wala yatang nabubuo hahaha... naubos na yata. Hahahaha

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3 months ago

Hahahaha inubos ubos mo rin kasi ata 😂😂 pahinga pahinga din 😂

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3 months ago

hahhaa kaya nga eh.. ihi lang daw pahinga.

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2 months ago

Haha grabi ka din eh..

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2 months ago

haha chos lang

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2 months ago

Happy Mother's Day natin sis, Becoming a mother is truly aweMazing but that doesn't mean easy. Awemazing because we were able to make things possible just for our kids. We even sacrifice ourselves for their sake. We were as well able to learn things that a motherhood life should learn. But at the same time, becoming a mother is crucial and challenging for we will be the most influential person for our kids future. That, the challenging part their is the way we raise our kids. Despites, we were still able to be a mother. A mother who will do everything for the welfare of our kids. Again, Happy mother's day sis. God bless!!!

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3 months ago

Happy mother's day too sis, I hope you have a special day with your family,.

Indeed becoming a mother is not easy but if we are responsible enough we will learn to embrace it.

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3 months ago

Happy mother's day to all mom

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3 months ago

Happy Mother's Day dear friend. Lots of love and respect for all mom in the whole world

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3 months ago

Thank you friend ☺️

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3 months ago

Happy Mother's Day madam.. Para ka ngang hndi mother eh 🤣.

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3 months ago

HAHAHA yun nga eh .. salamat. Parang kapatid ko lang kasama ko lagi 😂

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3 months ago

Happy Mother's day po! Ang galing po, I salute your resiliency. Ang ganda po ni baby girl

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3 months ago

Thank you po, happy mother's day din sayo 😊

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3 months ago

Happy Mother's Day sis 😘❤️

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3 months ago

Thank you sis, happy mother's day too.

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3 months ago