Hush Hush
*Maybe she did it...*
*Yeah, she could have done it...*
*I heard the old lady's dog was murdered first...*
*Maybe she got caught and killed the lady...*
*She's totally a sicko like her looney mom...*
*I bet she done it a lot...those killings...it might be her. Must be her.*
The girl pretended not to hear them, she went inside the classroom quietly. Head casted down, afraid to look at the calculating eyes of her peers. It wasn't enough that she was feeling guilty for what happened to the oldy but she had to endure all the cruel looks of people around. It was never her fault yet she was the one who suffered a great deal, as always just like with her twin.
"Hey, freak. Tell me. Did you kill that old lady? I heard that looney did it, painted her blood through the entire walls of the living room. You are a looney maybe it's you." A girl from her class said, one of the famous ones, pumping her fist on the girl's table. The girl grew scared as her classmates started chanting.
*Looney killer!*
*Looney killer!*
*Looney killer!*
*Looney killer!*
*Looney killer!*
The endless shouting goes loud and louder everytime it entered her ears. She wished she would go deaf so as to atleast hide part of herfrom the horrendous scene she was expeeiencing. Tormented, the girl covered her ears with both hands.
Her classmates resorted into another form of torture, one by one, they kicked her chair, her *body*. They started punching her, slapping her, prying her hands away from the ears.
One fist connected to her nose, causing blood to drip down the wooden desk in front of her. The girl's eyes were forced open by the kids as she was raised to her feet.
"No! Stop it! I DID NOT KILL HER! I did not! Please stop it!" No matter how much she shouted and pleaded, no one listen to her. It was as if she was a lifeless piece of shit, how they were treating her. She was down on the floor, curved into a ball desperate for everything to stop. She didn't utter any other words, for she knew it would not make them stop.
"You deserve this bitch! You killer! You should be lock up in prison!" Screamed one of the boys as a hard kick went for her ribs. A slight cracking sound went ringing in her ears. Pain it caused and she only wished for one thing, death to come. Something that she wished so many damn times but never come true. Only darkness came after the pain but this time it didn't come too.
"What's happening here?" The teacher walked in with the scenery of a girl balled on the floor with spots of blood that was probably hers all over the place. "Start talking now!" The teacher raised her voice, helping the girl to her feet. It was her again, same girl as always. "Who did this to you?" She focused her eyes on the bruised girl.
The girl's mouth was clipped shut. She know things would only get worse if she talk and she would not want that to happen. "It hurts. It hurts badly. Here." The girl pointed to her chest to a broken rib. Tears flowed down her face, she wanted the teacher to stop asking. "It hurts." She repeated, crying her eyes out.
Reality.3
Chapter 3. The Wedding Day
*Miguel's Reality*
It was the 20th of June. It was supposed to be my wedding day. But there was no wedding happening. Even in the world where Miguel was the one who survived the accident, no one seemed to be bothered by what was supposed to be the occasion that day.
Everyone just accepted that there would be no wedding after the accident. And I don't have a problem with that.
Living inside two realities was enough. I couldn't be married in one world and have a dead fiancee in the other. It was useless anyway my relationship with Miguel was slowly dwindling away. The last time I spoke with him was two weeks ago.
I have moved back into my parents' house and refused to get out of my room except for the forceful therapy.
When I first told Miguel about what was happening to me, he stormed out of the room. The next time he begged me to have therapy. Though, I felt he was more mournful than I was. And it wasn't his fault.
The death of my sister in his world changed him. He distanced himself from me, building an impenetrable wall between us.
I sighed. I closed my eyes trying to get back to sleep. But it was no use. I missed sleeping. I missed dreaming. I missed being normal.
Ever since waking up from the accident, I hadn't experienced dreaming. As soon as I fall asleep I wake in another reality. It also felt like I wasn't sleeping at all.
The thing I was experiencing, I had no idea when it would stop or if it would. Sometimes I thought of dealing with it the easiest way but I couldn't put myself to do it. Somehow I was finding an immaculate reason behind my bizarre situation. That perhaps everything that happened, happened because it has to happen.
It was scary but what choice do I have?
I jumped down from my bed and parted my curtains, letting in sunlight. It was a long time ago since my room experience light. I peeked through the window at the vans parked outside our neighbor's. Someone must have bought the house, it was on the market since I got back to my parents' house.
"Are you, okay Tallie? Would you like to come down and eat breakfast with us?" My mom called out behind the door. "Com'on baby, your daddy made your favorite blueberry pancake."
I opened the door and mom greeted me with a gaping mouth. "Okay," I said.
"Tallie would you like me to do your hair?" mom offered, giving me a concerned look.
I bit my lower lip. I was trying my best not to let the tears fall down my eyes. I didn't want my mom to see how fuck I was. That I was slowly dying inside each passing day. And to make things worse, when I wake up tomorrow. I'll be experiencing another 20th of June.
"It's fine," I finally answered my mom. I smiled at her. I sat down beside my dad in the breakfast nook. "Good morning dad. Mom said you made me some pancakes." I tuck away the loose hair on my face and started eating. The food tasted bland on my buds but I didn't tell them that. I swallowed every bite with a straight face.
"Are you really okay, Tallie?" my dad asked, worry etched on his face. "You know you could tell us everything."
"Ah-huh." I nodded. "I'm okay, dad. I'm sorry I haven't been out in my room, worrying you guys. It's just that..." I stopped, I should be comforting them too. In here, Stella was gone. She was away for eight years and when she finally got home, she died. "I'm sorry. I would try harder..."
My dad patted my back. "Aw, Baby. It's okay. Take all the time you need. And we like it that you're here."
"Thank you."
"By the way, Miguel said he'd be coming tonight and have dinner with us," mom announced.
My brows furrowed. "What for?" I bit down my teeth.
"You know today is supposed to be--"
"I know," I said stopping my mom in the middle of her sentence. "I know it's supposed to be my wedding day mom. But why does he need to come? He shut me down mom." I just then realized that I was mad with Miguel. He was the only person I thought would believe me. "I'm sorry. I had my full." I stomped my feet and walked out of the table.
I slumped my body down on the bed and forced myself to sleep.
*Stella's Reality*
"Are you, okay Tallie? Would you like to come down and eat breakfast with us?" The knocking of my mom woke me up.
I stood to open the door. "I'll be down," I answered. Mom has the same gaping expression as the mom in the other reality. "Where's Stella?" I followed.
"In her room," mom replied with a sad tone.
In this reality, we both went back home to our parent's house after the accident. And like Miguel, Stella was as broken as he was in the other reality. She also kept herself hidden inside her room. And would often refuse to come out. She was blaming herself for what happened.
I pity my mom. In both realities, she has to endure the trauma and the stress of putting up with her children. She must be tired.
"I'll check on Stella. The blueberry pancake dad makes would surely cheer her up."
"How did you know dad made some blueberry pancakes?" mom asked confused.
I almost slap myself. There were times I forgot and get two realities mixed up. "I smelled it from my room," I lied giving my mom a cheapish smile.
"I see. Go get your sister. She'll listen to you."
There was no answer on my first knock or my second or the five consecutive times after that. I knew she was awake. She didn't want me to be there. I didn't want to be there also but what choice do I have. I was supposed to be married on this day. I was supposed to have a happy life but instead, fate let me inside a cruel joke. I had no idea if I should be happy. Because unlike Miguel or Stella I didn't need to mourn for anyone.
I sat down next to Stella's door. I hummed the lullaby our mom used to sing us to sleep when we were young.
In no time the door opened up. "I'm sorry," Stella greeted me with puffy red eyes.
"Do you want breakfast? Or do you want to sneak out? Let's have a stroll? A lot changed around here. I don't even know the kids running on the street anymore. And to think were those kids before--" I kept mumbling words without even thinking of it. I let nonsense out of my tongue just to avoid an awkward silence.
"Okay," Stella said stopping me from blabbering.
"Okay what? Okay, you want breakfast? Or okay, you wanna go out?"
"Let's have a stroll. There's a coffee nearby."
"Ow, okay. Let me just grab my jacket and you know." I pointed to the bird's nest over my head. "It could use a little combing." I smiled and hurried to my room. I picked up my phone, purse, and some elastics for my hair.
Stella wrapped a scarp over her neck and we went down the fire exit. Our parents didn't approve of it when were younger. But it was their fault for putting the fire exit on the daughter's bedroom. It made sneaking at night a lot easier.
I took a look at our house as we walked through the garden and climbed a Juniper tree. We moved in synced as if it was just yesterday night we were sneaking out to party at Karen's house.
"Tallie, are you coming?" beckoned Stella.
"Yeah," I answered. I texted mom about our whereabouts before running to Stella. She was quite energetic today. And despite not eating much, she was still plump. "Hey, you're walking too fast. Are you okay?"
She looked at me for a few seconds before casting her eyes down. "No...Yeah, I am okay."
I have words to tell instead we walked side by side without talking at all. But it was nice and calming. It was also the first time after the accident that we actually interacted with anyone coaxing us.
The coffee shop was nice it was just new. It opened up a couple of months ago, almost the same as the accident.
It was a traditional coffee shop but with a mixed eccentricity. One could mistake it for a flower shop for the assortment of flowering plants adorning the place. There were even vines growing on the walls inside and I swear it smelled may rather than coffee inside. And I love it, the strong smell of coffee always made me gag. And it was a nice change. Yet the most unique feature of the shop was the stained glass windows and the balcony that has a nice view of the mountains at the back and the highway in front. It was like being in two different places at the same time.
"What's the commotion out there?" I asked the waitress who brought our coffee. There were throngs of people huddled up outside when we came in.
The waitress looked at the window. "There was a hit and run this morning. You know accidents just happen everywhere. It is sad, the dude just moved here and was our regular too."
My heart broke. I also saw a sudden shift in Stella's face. The word accident just doesn't sit well with us. "It must be heartbreaking." I smiled at the waitress.
"Yeah, they are setting up a small memorial outside."
"Thalia, I think we should go."
I gaped at my sister. I didn't want to argue with her. "I'm sorry my sister is not feeling well." I followed Stella outside placing money on the table. "Sorry," I mouthed to the waitress. "Stella wait!" I shouted keeping up with her.
I caught a glimpse of the guy with a wide smile as I passed the road. He was too young to die.
I balled my fist and run to Stella.
"Where are you guys from?" mom greeted us as soon as we barged the inside. Stella was still refusing to talk to me. She strode through her room and with a loud thud made sure that no one was going to bother her.
Great! "I'm sorry mom. I'm tired." I grabbed a piece of pancake from the counter and smiled at my dad. "It tastes good. I'll be in my room."
My head ached. Why does each world need to be so draining? I couldn't even find solace in any of them. Instead, my problem just doubled.
I slammed my body into bed. It was a drag to walk or to move. I sighed deeply. It felt like my body was ripping in two and the doctors just couldn't find the reason why. And those two stupid shrinks in each world kept saying it was just in my head.
The pain, I swear it was real. If the two realities were just figments of my imaginations, at least the pains were very real to me.
*Miguel's Reality*
"Honey, it's already noon. Aren't you going out to eat?" mom knocked on my door waking me up and pulling me to the other world.
I held my head in place. There was this feeling of wanting to throw up but nothing to throw up. It felt like my body was hurling against an incoming wall.
"I'm good mom, I'm not hungry," I managed to utter. All the while, I heard our doorbell ring. I was curious to see if it was Miguel. Though he would be too early for dinner.
I walked to my window and parted the curtains. It was the exact time for the guy ringing up the bell to look up, our eyes met and goose bumps covered my body.
The fun never stops. It was the dead guy from Stella's reality.
Reality.2
Chapter 2. Before The Accident
"Good morning!" I felt a big weight fall on my side followed by soft kisses on my face. "Com'on wake up sleepy head. We have a long day ahead of us!"
"Ugh!" I grunted. I didn't want to leave my bed. It was too comfy in there that I just wanted to stay asleep. Instead of waking up, I pulled my blanket over my face.
A low chuckle erupted in my ears. "So that's how you want it, huh?" The blanket was forcefully taken away from my body. Then a weight pinned me down as hands started tickling my sides.
I lost it. I opened my eyes. The most beautiful creature on earth greeted me with his white pearly smile. My heart was easily swept away, he looked like an angel as the sunlight illuminated his chiseled features. "Stop it. Stop it. I am awake!" I said in between my laughter.
"So you wanna sleep all day long, huh?"
I grinned. I pulled my fiancee's arm. His body crushed me and our lips met. "Let's just stay like this for a while." I put my fingers on his face tracing the bridge of his nose. "Why do we have to go there? When we can stay in bed and sleep?"
"Don't you want to be my wife anymore?"
"Of course, I want to! You told you that stupid--" a hand covered my mouth.
"Then pull your sleepy ass up the bed. We are going to the caterer today, of course, you are needed there. You are the bride, Thalia."
"Do I really have to marry you? I'm starting to have doubts myself. Does Mrs. Miguel Suarez sound any good at all?" I laughed at the grim expression on my fiancee's face. "I'm just kidding, okay? I'm getting up. I'll be downstairs in twenty?"
"Okay. Twenty. Make sure it's not thirty or an hour, got it?" I nodded and he planted a peck on my lips.
I smiled as I followed his form leaving my room. I couldn't believe that I would be marrying the man of my dreams. I still couldn't grasp the idea that the boy I used to follow around is going to be my husband. I even have those memories when I was a kid when I cajoled my sister to force him in marrying me. I could still remember how red his face was when he had to say 'I do' to a four-year-old.
I couldn't wish for anything else in my life.
I make sure to be downstairs exactly twenty minutes. If there was one thing, I hated about my fiance was his lack of patience. I swear my two-year-old nephew has more patience than him.
"Honey?" I called out when I didn't see him in the living room. The house was awfully quiet he would usually blast music when he was around. There was an eerie silence in the air that was making me nervous. I turned towards the kitchen when I heard voices whispering. It was enough to tell there were two people but not enough to hear what they were talking about. Though it sounded like they were arguing. "Honey?" I called out again.
"Honey!" Miguel answered at once and I saw his back on our patio. He immediately turned in my direction when I reached the kitchen, blocking my view of his acquaintance. His face was red and puffy. "You're here."
"Yeah, who's with you?" I asked non oblivious of his reaction. Miguel has a temper sometimes but he's a good guy.
"Uhm. Hi," a familiar voice greeted me and my sister's face came into view. "Surprise!" she added.
My jaw dropped. "I thought you said, you couldn't come! You should have told me you're coming!" I pulled her into a tight embrace. Our parents raised us like twins though my sister was two years older than me. I pushed and took a good look at her, she gained weight. But it suited her, she has more color. "I could have come to the airport!" I scolded her.
"Of course. I wouldn't miss my little sister's wedding! How awful of a sister do you think I am?" She smiled at me and wiped the tear on my face. "When are mom and dad coming?"
"Aw. I missed you so much!" I kissed her cheek and hugged her once more. "They are coming on the twenty-fourth. You know mom, she has to be in charge of everything." I rolled my eyes and pulled her to the living room. I have so much to tell her! She and Miguel must have been arguing again. They were best friends and she was the only reason Miguel have put up with me when I was a kid. "So how's the trip?"
My sister smiled at me. "Tell me what's wrong?" I jabbed at her side. She wasn't this quiet. When my sister is in the house, she could wake up the entire neighborhood with her loud voice.
"There's nothing really. I just couldn't believe that my baby sister is going to marry before me." She wiped the non-existential tears at the side of her eyes and lightly punched them on the shoulders.
I rolled my eyes and didn't press the issue on her. "Fine. Then come with us. We are going to a food tasting today. Maybe after we can catch up? I have so much to tell you! How's Paris anyway? Miguel was in London last month, I told him to meet with but he said you were too busy." I paused to get my shoes. "Com'on Stella, you shouldn't be working so hard. Enjoy your youth for once."
Stella giggled. "I miss that mouth, you know that?"
"I'm glad you're home, Stella."
"Me too."
It was still two months till the wedding but Miguel insisted that everything must be perfect. He wanted me to have the fairytale wedding I was dreaming of since four.
He even took a two-month leave at work just to be with me in all the preparations. And I couldn't be more than happy with that. I guess he was spoiling me too much. But who would complain?
And my sister coming home made it even more perfect. Though she was acting really weird and I had zero ideas why.
"Enough of that." I took the glass from my sister's hand. "You have too much." I pulled her into a seat. "I'm sorry," I mouthed to the attendant she was pestering a while ago.
My sister giggled. She already smelled alcohol that morning and the wine testing didn't help make her sober.
"But lil' sis' I want more!" She fought her way to get the glass from me because I tower by three inches. She didn't stand a chance. "You meanie!" she added squinting her eyes in my direction.
"Ugh!" I grabbed Miguel's hand and pulled her to my sister's side. "Don't leave her. Don't let her into any alcohol. I'm just getting a cold towel for her." I waved my apology to the sommelier.
Along with my sister, Miguel was also acting weird. The two of them used to be inseparable and now they wouldn't even have a normal conversation without bickering.
"It was your fault!" I heard my sister shout and then saw her punching Miguel in the chest.
"What's wrong?" I grabbed my crying sister. I handed her ibuprofen and water. "What are you two fighting about?" I pressed the cold cloth on my sister's face.
"Nothing," the two answered in unison.
I shook my head in disbelief. "Let's just grab lunch. I have already digested the samplers. I'm famished!" I turned to my sister and grabbed the towel from her face. "Are you okay now? Where do you want to eat?"
She massaged her temple while looking at me. "My head aches! Maybe some hot ramen will do me good."
"Okay." I went to my phone and searched for the nearest ramen house I could find. "Got it," I announced and the three of us went to the car saying goodbye to the caterer and sommelier.
The ride was quiet for some time. I get to enjoy looking at the views outside the window while my sister snores on the back of the car.
"What's wrong with you two? I leave you two for a few seconds and all you do is go for each other's throats?" I turned my gaze to Miguel. "What are two fighting for earlier?"
There was a trickle of sweat on his forehead though our AC was on flu blast. "Nothing. You know your sister is overprotective of you. Do you remember her reaction when she found out we were dating?"
I nodded my head. "Yeah. Three months later she flew to Paris." I paused for a while contemplating my next words. "But please stop arguing with her. I want her here it's been eight years. Put up with her, please. At least for me?"
"Of course Honey. I'm sorry."
"Why are you two being so lovey-dovey in there? Do you two want me to puke."
Miguel and I chuckled at once. "Don't you dare so that it's newly cleaned?"
"The more I want to puke in this love lair!"
"Stella," I warned my sister.
"Thalia..." she said mocking. "Aw! I forgot I have my camera here."
"Then better work your ass," Miguel commented.
My sister was a great photographer she had been working with fashion houses since moving to Paris.
"Say cheese!" Stella said from the back. "Lemme me take a picture of you two."
Miguel and I both turned to her and sported huge smiles.
"Faster! I swear you're going to get us killed," Miguel teased, laughing at my sister.
Stella rolled her eyes. "Com'on guys. It has to be perfect! I swear I'm better than that photographer you've chosen--"
I didn't get to hear the rest of Stella's snide comments. I turned my head to the road. "Miguel!" I shouted a truck was swerving in our direction.
The next thing I knew there was a blinding light in front of me and we were flying through the air and with a big thud, everything went black.
Reality.1
Chapter 1. The Accident
"Say cheese!" Stella said from the passenger seat. "Let me take a picture of you two."
Miguel and I both turned to her and sported huge smiles. It was almost too long since the three of us get together again.
"Faster! I swear you're going to get us killed," Miguel teased, laughing at my sister.
Stella rolled her eyes. "Com'on guys. It has to be perfect! I swear I'm better than that photographer you've chosen--"
I didn't get to hear the rest of Stella's snide comments. I turned my head to the road. "Miguel!" I shouted a truck was swerving in our direction.
The next thing I knew there was a blinding light in front of me and we were flying through the air and with a big thud, everything went black.
It was almost as if someone pressed the pause button.
Where am I?
"Hello?" I shouted. I waited for a few eons before I shouted again but still no response. There was no one around. Though I wasn't sure, I couldn't see anything other than darkness.
"Hello?" I called out yet again. And to my surprise, there was still no response. However, there was a great deal of chance that no sound was coming out of me. I couldn't feel my lips. I couldn't feel a single part of my body. It felt like I was floating through the ground but getting nowhere at all.
I should be scared or frustrated. I have no recollection of the events that led me to this place. Yet, I was feeling nothing at all. There was no emotion inhabiting me.
I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong though I was sure there was something out of place.
It felt surreal at the most, maybe it was a dream after all.
Suddenly two orbs of light appeared out of nowhere. They floated before me, one was red and the other was blue. They were immensely beautiful, their lights were both warm and welcoming. They flickered as if conversing with me. They seemed to be waiting for something.
It was me. They were beckoning me.
The lights wanted me to follow them.
But which one should I follow? They were heading in different directions.
"Wait!" But the lights didn't falter. They were moving away from me...
Wait!
Wait!
Wait!
WAIT!
"Hah!" I breathed air in my lungs. It was too sudden, it was burning me. What just happened? I swear there was something I have to do. What did I miss? I knew it just seconds ago but now it was gone.
I squinted my eyes and anchored my body in a seating position. The white-washed room gave way to my whereabouts. Tubes were connected to my arms and a beeping machine was beside me.
"Doctor! Doctor! She's awake!" I heard shouting in my vicinity. Hands started probing my body, lights were put in my eyes. I have no idea what was happening to me.
My body felt heavy and I didn't have an ounce of energy to stop what they were doing.
"Why am I here? Where's Miguel?" I managed to speak but regretted it the moment the words came out of my mouth. My throat felt like Sahara, it was the driest I remembered it had been. It was painful that I have to ease myself by coughing.
"It was a miracle..." I heard one of the nurses say.
"Water," I mouthed and a straw was put to my lips.
"Honey!" The familiar voice burst inside the room. "Oh my goodness, Honey! Honey! You are awake!" I was immediately enveloped in a tight hug. "I thought we lost you too." Miguel kept crying, sobbing like a little child.
"Why? What happened we were..." I stopped myself as memories flashed uninvitedly inside my head. "Where's Stella? Where's my sister?" Tears involuntarily flowed down my eyes. The last things I remembered were the screeching of the tires and a loud banging sound.
Miguel refused to speak and in his silence, I found my answer.
"I'm sorry, Honey. I'm sorry. The doctors tried to save her but it was already too late..."
"No.no.no... that cannot be true. Why?" I cried until there were no more tears left to cry. My sweet sister was gone and I didn't even get to say goodbye. Where was the justice in there?
Miguel spoke with the doctors as one of the nurses injected something into my stream to calm me down. I suspected it was a tranquilizer, the moment it went to my arm. My kids felt heavy with sleep.
"Hah!" I coughed. Darn it! How long would I be overwhelmed with air? I calmed myself as my situation sunk deeper.
My sister died because of me. If I didn't push her to come, she would be okay.
I sighed, a month into my wedding and a tragedy happened. How could I go forth with it?
My mind was torn from my internal monologue when a nurse came into the room.
"Doctor. Doctor! Doctor! She's awake. She's awake!" The nurse shouted in hysteria. Then she proceeded in probing my body and checking my vitals.
Why are they so hyped about me? Did I go into a coma and woke up again? I palmed my face; there were no wrinkles or crow's feet. My face felt the same.
I coughed again and a straw was put in my mouth. The cold water was easing my nerves when the most unbelievable thing walked inside the room.
"Stella?" I croaked. The tears brimming the side of my eyes rained down my face. "You are alive?" I grabbed her arm and felt her warm skin. She was indeed alive. "How? But I thought ...Oh, Stella."
"I thought we lost you too..." my sister cried in my arms. "I'm so scared to lose you."
I burrowed my brows in question. "What do you mean? Where's Miguel I ought to talk to him. He has some explaining to do."
A grim expression clouded my sister's exterior. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Thalia. The doctors tried but they couldn't bring him back."
Horror washed over me. "No. That cannot be true. He was just here a while ago. I talked to him. That girl!" I pointed to the nurse who checked my vitals. "You saw him right? The first time I woke up, he was there. I saw him!" My throat hurt from the exertion that I need to cough. "You gotta believe me. He even told me that you were..." It was insane, how could that be? Maybe I was dreaming earlier? But it felt so freaking real! I even saw the same nurse. No. No. No, I am not going insane.
"But it was the first time you woke up ma'am. It was also by a miracle that you did. You have been pronounced dead awhile ago but your heart suddenly beat again." The nurse turned to the newly arrived doctor and whispered words out of my hearing.
So I am really dreaming earlier? But how can I be sure that I am not dreaming this time? How can I know which one is real?
A needle pricked on my left arm. "This will calm her down." The doctor addressed my sister.
"Everything will be okay, Tallie," she crooned to my ears as the drug lulled me back to sleep.
"How are you, Honey?" Miguel smiled at me, the signature smile that made me fall head over er heels with him.
"You gotta be kidding me." Those were the exact words that came out of my mouth. "Where's Stella?"
Confusion drained from Miguel's face. "What are you talking about, Honey? We already talked about this, right? Stella is gone..." he paused, choking on his own words. "She died in the crash, do you remember?"
I racked my brain for the possible answer but it only led me to one, they were all fucking with me. "Come on Miguel, let Stella in here. Stop this stupid joke. It ain't funny at all!" I shouted furiously.
"Thalia. This isn't a joke."
I crossed my arms over my chest. I refused to talk to him or anyone until someone tell me what was happening to me. Every passing minute I was getting closer to insanity.
Doctors came inside the room to check on me. "What is wrong with her? Is something wrong with her brain?" I heard Miguel ask one of the doctors but even the medical experts couldn't offer him a viable answer.
"It's just stress. She's dreaming about things. The drugs must have caused it too."
Stress?
Dream?
And how would I know which one is the dream?
How would I know if I'm still sane?
Reality. Prologue
Author's Note: yes I am back from my rest. Lol. But I'm currently working on a novel so it would be sparse. I wanted to publish here the sample chapters that I would give my editor. Mind well that these chapters are not edited yet and will still undergo skillful eyes. I only scanned them for typos. So yeah please bear with it.
Anyway this is the prologue. It's still vague but you'd see as the story progress. I would love to hear your thoughts tho! Thank you
Prologue
My eyes focused on the dark numbers of the clock hanging above the door. Specifically, that bold number six. It was ten more minutes till my session would be over and I get to forget the
terrible experience once again. But time somehow stretched for eternity and the darn ten minutes seemed a lot longer than the usual.
I counted silently in my head every second yet my counting was dire faster than the little hands of the clock. I was growing frustrated with every tik-tok the clock does.
I calmed myself and shifted to telekinetically moving the little hand without any success.
If it was possible I would have gladly stood and moved the little hand with my own. However, I was trapped.
"Thalia, are you with me?"
I moved my eyes to the man sitting in front of me. He was the same age as my uncle Teddy yet he looked so much older than him. Well, if I was in the same field as him. I would have looked the same, worn out.
He repeated his question twice. And if I don't answer him, I could kiss goodbye to my Sundays for the rest of the year. It was a terrible idea, yet my mind couldn't find the answer he was looking for.
"Uhm..." I cleared my throat and reached for the bottled water the man prepared for me. I gulped the water and I found relief in its coldness. Though it was easily washed away by the hard staring the man was giving me. I couldn't keep stalling him anymore. "Just tell me what you want to hear--" *Dang!* I have done it again. Why couldn't I control my own tongue? *Ugh!*
My hands balled on my side trying to keep a calm exterior. I didn't want him scribbling over his small notebook.
"Well, I want you to be honest with me--" he paused, looking closely at my reaction. "You know the essence of these sessions is for you to be honest with me, right? How can I help you, if you are not being honest with me, Thalia?"
I summoned all the force inside me to stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Well, I am being honest to you. It's up to you if you would believe me or not."
The man nodded while his left hand wrote words on his small notebook. "Very well. Then will you tell me about these dreams you have been having?"
I sighed. It was tiring to answer that darn question every time I see him. It doesn't help me at all. "I told you. They are not dreams--" I pursed my lips.
"Then alternate reality. Would that connotation suit it better?"
I opened and closed my mouth. "Whatever."
"It's the time you detach yourself from the accident, Thalia. Miguel is never coming back." The man peeked at his notebook before laying his eyes on me, "I can assure you, I am real. Flesh and bone."
I bit back a laugh though some might have escaped that I caught the man raising his eyebrows. "Well, that was the exact words the other shrink, you know from that, alternate reality, told me."
"Thalia--" He was stopped by the loud ding of his clock.
Finally! The ten minutes were over. "Well, see you next Sunday, Dr. Fitz."
I didn't wait for him to speak another word. I stood and left.
Honesty is overrated when no one would believe you.
Rain
I hate it when it rains
Always makes me sad
My tears slowly flow
Time seem to stop
Allowing me to brood
Into a forgotten past
No one must know
The truth behind the tears
Engraved in a memory
Deep within every **raindrops**
Hey, how are you today? I hope you are okay.
That one above is a poem I've written ages ago.
I have been absent in here again. Well, Mr. R never misses me anyway. Just joking. I'm just dealing with my mental issues right now. I'm having my own mental break. But I guess nothing I do helps ease my anxieties. And worse my over thinking just heightens it.
You probably guessed it right, this is a personal post. So trigger warning ahead of you. If you are an innocent pure soul, don't, **don't dare reading this**. **JUST DON'T READ IT.**
I have given my fair warning so it's not my responsibility if you came out tattered after reading this. And I should also say my thanks in advance. Thank you for having the time to read this.
I am sorry if I am venting to you guys but I have really no one to talk to. And this is the most unbiased way I could get my steam off.
You see, it's raining hard everyday for the past week. And I hate when it's raining especially when I'm all alone at home. It freaking triggers my trauma. All the bad things that happened to me as a child keeps having a marathon inside my head. The flashbacks you see at movies they really, they do happen. It happens to me and everytime it does, it feels like I'm reliving everything again. It feels freaking real. It's like I'm having nightmares when I'm awake.
It was that particular memory when I was about nine. It was the time that the molestation started. I was sitting alone in the sofa at our living room and it was raining hard outside. I couldn't play with my friends and my siblings were gone. As usual I was left by myself. I don't know my cousin was there. When I saw him coming out of his room, he glanced from side to side as if looking for something. He then sat beside me, asked if where are my brother and the maid. I said my brothers were at the mall and the maid was on errand. Then he asked me if I wanted to play a game.
I don't have a freaking clue that time. When I said yes, I was beaming with joy. I was bored and was dying to have someone to talk to. When he touched me I wasn't scared at all because I don't even know what was happening.
That memory was the one that keeps playing over and over inside my head, in an endless loop. I keep praying, shouting to that little girl to stop that monster from touching her but nothing changed. No matter how I try it stays the same.The outcome stays the same. And all I can do is cry, cry for that little girl.
I goes on for days now and it's slowly draining me. It makes me feel worthless. And I'm scared that it's true.
You would prolly ask, why I don't talk to my boyfriend about this? He knows about my trauma. And I told him what's happening to me right now. But because he needs to work. I don't have a choice. And I don't want to pressure him about my anxiety of being left alone at home.
I'm on the brink of telling him that I'm breaking my promise to stay home until we conceive. You see I have a very sensitive uterus and the stress of work is not good for me. But work keeps me going make me stay away from my nightmares.
You would also prolly ask why I can't stay for a while on our house? Maybe until the rainy season stops The problem is, another trigger for me is my family. I'm way passed being mad at them and blaming them for what happened to me. But it doesn't stop them from triggering my trauma.
Don't get confused my family are nice people. My mom is a wonderful human being. She is my inspiration and role model. But it doesn't stop the chemicals in my brain from telling me that she is a reminder of a last that I wanted to forget. It's sad but it is what it is.
And so yes, home isn't an option as well.
How about a close friend then? I stopped telling my friends about my feelings when I didn't get the empathy I hoped they could offer me. And when one of them asked me: did you like it? After relying the horrible thing about my childhood. Who would like that thing? What child would like that thing when you don't even know what's happening? Why would a friend ask me that horrible question? And so it ended there I bottle everything inside me until it is too much too handle and my only solace is crying.
And then you'd prolly suggest a psychiatrist for me. I have friends in that field and have consulted them. But they only offer me these: talk about your past, accept what happened in your past, stop blaming yourself. And I did all of those things, I've tried talking about what happened to me. I have long forgiven that person who hurt me, I have forgiven my family and myself. I also accepted that no matter what I do, nothing would change. So it was up to me if I would continue to ruin myself or pick up the pieces and start anew.
Though those things didn't stop my nightmares. Those things didn't stop my triggers.
I admit it, I have suicidal thoughts. I hurt myself before. But fret not, I would never dare to commit suicide. My psychiatrist friend told me that it was me being too rational that keeps me sane.
I will tell you I am a functional adult but deep inside me is a child asking for an ear.
I don't expect sympathy from you guys nor I expect anything from you. This is me trying to voice out my thoughts where no one would judge me; for once I wanted someone to just listen and don't give any unrequited comments.
And please if you're like me, I'm all ears up. Ready to listen.
And to others please be more patient and an ear to someone too. Its okay if you don't know what to say, your company is enough.
I may be forever tinted but I'm I'm striving to be a better me, at least a tiny step each day.
Thank you for listening.
Lost and Confused
Author's Note: I am really feelin' well right now so please take this poem that might as well be a story. I wrote it years ago funny in a way that, I experienced it after writing it. Hahah
There was a boy in the crowd
He looked so lost and confused
A girl shouted his name
Slowly the boy turned his head
Through her direction
Smile appeared on the girl's face
She waved for him to come
Then he beckoned
Just a step away
Whispered the girl in her head
But he didn't stop
As she held her hand
The boy kept going
Right passed through her
The girl turned her head
To where the boy was
She saw him smiling
Holding a hand to someone
There's girl in the crowd
Looking so lost and confused
The boy didn't see her
Wish
"You are useless," the kid said with an impede tone. She crossed her arms over her chest giving the little creature in front of her a scowled look. "And I thought fairies are cute but you're one ugly little thing! Ugh!" she waved her hand dismissing the creature.
The fairy's skin shifted from its original color of blue to red. She fisted both of her hands and gritted her teeth. She inhaled and exhaled repeatedly calming herself. The stories retold by elders weren't true, there was nothing angelic about a child. If there would be a word to describe her it would be, "Brat," the word slipped out of her tongue and she was proud of it.
The kid stomped her feet. "And what did you call me? You little--"
The fairy muted the kid's rampant words. She groaned inwardly, if not for her cousin she wouldn't be trapped in that tree branch. And the stupid brat wouldn't have seen her. But she mustn't wallow in such things, what she need to do was to think of a way out of the mess she stumbled in. "Com'on there must be something you want to have! A new toy? A place you want to go to? Anything?"
"What could I possibly wish for?" The kid spread her arms about the massive mansion at her back. "I could get any toy I want in a snap of my finger. I could get into any place I want. There's nothing I could wish for. So you're useless!"
The kid was about to turn her back when the fairy yelled, "wait!" Think. Think, she must think! If she couldn't grant her a wish she wouldn't be able to go back home and be tied with her forever. "You could also wish for a non-material thing. How about love? I bet you crave your parents' love? Having this huge house means they are not always by your side, right?"
"Love?"
"Yes. Love. I could make your parents love you more. They'll spend more time with you!" The fairy was almost begging the girl to make her wish.
"Nah. If my parents stay here then I wouldn't be able to have all of these." Once again she spread her arms to make emphasis. "But I guess there's something, I could wish for."
"Really?" The fairy was bouncing with joy. Finally! She wouldn't be trapped with the heartless kid. "Then what is your wish?"
A scream woke up the occupants of Redwood Manor.
Stella was having a good dream when her nurse made an entrance into her room. "Come quick, young lady! Your parents! Your--" she couldn't finish her words and proceeded into crying.
Being her curios self Stella bounced to her feet and followed her nurse down to the receiving hall. There was a big commotion with the attendants. Only when she faked a cough that they became aware of her presence.
"What is it?" she asked yet no one dared to speak a word. Instead, everyone parted to give way to the big screen over the wall. There were images of her mom and dad and below their faces were flashing red letters telling about the accident that happened.
"No!" Stella cried. "Mommy! Daddy!" she continued crying but what no one have seen was the smile underneath her tears.
It was her wish after all.
Dating
I swiped on my phone as a hand snatched it away.
"Damn it, Dennise! I told you to stop doing that!" I grumbled taking a leap from my seat to get my phone back.
Being five inches shorter than her my onslaught was easily waved. She managed to put a hand on my forehead to restrain me. She flipped my phone and immediately gasped. Her crow's feet appeared as her eyes stared at me.
"Would you just date like every normal person out there?" She shoved back my phone at me. She crossed both of her arms over her chest while she lightly tapped on the floor with her right foot. She does it every time she was annoyed with me. "Come on, answer me!"
I opened and closed my mouth. "Well. I am not like everyone else." I snapped at her. I retained my former seat and went back to swiping on my phone. I found a match I like. I double tapped on the screen.
"Ugh! There are boys here that are dying to date you!" She practically screamed in my face. She sat beside me and took my phone once again. She put it over the table and grabbed both of my hands. She inches closer to my face making me look her in the eyes. "Come, babe. Try, how about Josh?"
I shook my head no.
"But why?"
"You know I wouldn't like Josh nor every person in here. I like the internet, guys there are not superficial. They let their true selves out. They don't hide who they really are."
"That's why you have to know them. You'd like them once you fully--"
I put a finger over her lips to stop her from blabbering. "And I could be myself out there too." I smiled and I knew by then that she understood me.
Call
The woman paced in an irregular manner. Her right hand kept wiping at the side of her dress staining them yellow while her left hand clutched at her phone. Her eyes were glued on the window hoping for a miracle to happen. And if you look closer at her you would have seen the sweat covering her forehead.
She couldn't describe the emotions swirling around her. She was frustrated. She was scared. She was confused. She was anxious.
The woman wanted to cry but she didn't want to ruin her makeup. She was holding her tears like her dear life depended on it. She must stay beautiful.
She kept wishing it was just a horrid nightmare but there was no escaping her fate.
It was all set up. They had been preparing for months. The guests were all waiting for them. She could hear the crying children on the background making the whole thing a lot worse.
It was only thirty minutes he's been late. There must be a valid reason behind it. But what could it be? She had been contacting him but her calls where all put into voice mails.
Then at last a ringing came.
She was shaking when she answered the call.
"Nate? Nate where are you?"
There was a stretched of silence before she heard the familiar voice. "I'm sorry. I won't be coming..."
The phone dropped from her hand and the tears she was holding rained down her face.
Author's Note: how's life? I have not feeling so well. Here's something for you guys.
Death
Author's Note: I'm freaking with the market situation. I hope I get through this month without so much a hassle. I dunno if I can manage to leave my wallets untouched. Anyways here I am writing. Enjoy!
Death wasn't as glorious as those author's tried to convey to their readers. There was no light at the end of a tunnel, no singing angels, no gate keepers. There was nothing extravagant about it. Death is as simple as it is, an end to life.
When you die, you are left with the feeling of emptiness, devoid of all emotions. And for whatever reason you knew exactly what happened to you. You don't tend to ask questions, you simply accept that you have finally met your demise. Your senses were all gone as well as your physical form. Instead you become a spec, a tiny particle floating through air waiting...
"Ha!" I breathed out; confusion racked my brain. *Where am I?* I steadied my breathing, trying to remember how it was done. I pulled up what supposed to be my arms on my vanguard*. What the fuck is happening to me?* I rounded my eyes to the white washed room. *Is this hell?* I know for a fact that I would never go to heaven.
"Ow, honey! I thought you're not going to wake up anymore." Two strong arms enveloped me in a tight hug and I was awaken from my internal monologue.
I pulled away from the crying woman. Spontaneously, I stood up and went straight to a mirror. I looked at my face. Though, *could it be really mine?* There was nothing in the mirror aside from that reflection. The blue eyes, blonde hair and thin cupid bow lips. I was sure it wasn't mine and the girl I was seeing wasn't me. I pinched myself trying to asses the situation. I felt pain.
"Am I alive?" I asked the stupidest question I could ask.
The crying woman gaped at me. She clapped her hands and grabbed me to sit beside her. "Of course you are, Honey! You are alive and breathing. Thank goodness you are!" she exclaimed caressing my shoulders.
"Well," I paused, wetting my dry lips. "Who am I?" It should have been my first question but I wasn't thinking when I first asked. I probably sounded insane in front of the woman.
In an instant the woman started crying again. "Did you hit your head last night? When...when..."
"When what?" I raised my voice annoyed. We were not getting anywhere, I was full of questions. My head was aching ten fold and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was tired, like I was running for miles.
The woman stared at me, she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly unable to form words. I was certain she was thinking I have loose screws on the head.
"Hey, I heard she woke up!" someone yelled opening the door.
My eyes immediately went for the voice. When my brain finally processed the image of the guy, the throbbing in my head worsen. Every fiber in my body felt like reaping apart.
"Ah!" I cried, fisting the hairs on my head as if it would help lessen the pain. I closed my eyes, there were images flashing over my head.
The guy who just came in, he was holding a knife and then he plunged it to the girl he was pinning on the floor. The girl fought him, scratched his arms but he was too strong for her. He stabbed her repeatedly until she wasn't moving anymore.
I had no idea if what I was seeing was real. But I want it all to stop.
My head. *Ugh!* It felt like exploding. I writhed on the bed making myself into a ball.
There were chaos around me. The woman continued crying, she was begging God to save me. Then the man was shouting angry commands to someone.
A cold metal was pressed on my arm. The flashes stopped and the pain subsided. I was then lulled to sleep.
...
"Are you okay now?"
I opened my eyes to the pearly white teeth of the woman. She wasn't crying now but her eyes were red and puffy. Beside her was the man. I winced upon seeing him, I swallowed hard trying to keep the flashes at bay.
"Can you tell me who I am now and what happened to me?" I pulled myself up and anchored my elbow so I could sit. "Please. I beg."
The woman was hesitant, she was biting the corner of her lower lip and her right foot kept tapping the floor.
"Go on. Tell her. The doctor said it's okay," coaxed the man. He grabbed her hands giving her support.
"Y-you, You are our d-d-daughter," she stuttered. "And you tried to kill yourself the other night. B-but I found you before--" she couldn't hold her tears anymore.
"I see. That's what happened," I said looking up at my clammy hands. Though it didn't explain about the images I saw whenever I would look at the man--my supposedly dad. But I kept that part. I couldn't just tell them that I was seeing him killing someone in some divine visions. They'll probably just lock me up with other looney bins. I sighed, there was literally nothing I could do about it. This thing happening to me, it didn't come with a manual. "Can we go home now?" I added tired. My head was still throbbing, the least I could do was to stop thinking and have some rest. Beside, I wanted to know more about this girl, me.
"Great. That's a great idea. Let's go home. And let's all have some rest. Okay? Martha?" He looked up at the woman, mom, who just smiled at him and nodded.
In less than an hour we were out of the hospital. The doctors said there was nothing wrong about me and my migraines were probably from stress. They also said my memories will be back soon--though I doubt it would happen-- and that it was maybe for the better that I forgot things. It was my brain protecting myself from the trauma that happened.
My mind wandered off to different possibilities around my situation but nothing relevant came to my mind. It only made my headache worse. I was too preoccupied that I hadn't even noticed that we already pulled over a huge three story house. My mouth gaped at its size, *damn my parents are loaded!*
"Go on, Love. I will take care of Videl's things," dad said giving mom a pat at the back.
"Let's go, Honey," she said smiling opening my door for me.
I nodded at her and climbed out of the car. However, something caught my eyes. "I'll be right there," I shouted, waving at her. I couldn't take away my eyes to that tiny paper sticking out under the driver's seat. I grabbed it and turned it over to see what it was. It was a photograph.
Electricity travelled through my spine like I was struck by lightning. My hand shook uncontrollably. Another set of images flashes over my head. This time, I was looking straight at my father, screaming bloody hell. Begging him to let me go. But he wouldn't let me, he grabbed a knife at his back and started stabbing me. "Ah!" I screamed.
"Are you okay? Something hurting again?"
I shook my head furiously. "No." I jumped out of the car. The picture crumpled in my palm. My breathing hitched as I get away from dad.
In the photograph was the girl he killed, lifeless and that girl was me. It was me!
Death was never simple.
Author's Note: it was a novel idea. The story was essentially like that. A girl died and she was resurrected as the daughter of her killer. Waddya think?
Fear
Author's Note: The market is bloody hell today and yesterday. It's making me sad coz I'll be needing some extra on the weekend and bch won't prolly be up by then...so yeah I'll be writing my sorrows away.
"Just fucking tell me what is wrong!" he said exasperated while he stretched out his arm to her. She looked at his hand for a few seconds before taking it. "What are you so afraid of?"
Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. There was a fleeting feeling of excitement and loneliness being with him. He inched closer to her and she let him take her chin. "This. You.," she whispered without batting an eyelash catching his attention.
His lips curved into a smile. He wet his lips and let out a low chuckle. He scratched his head unable to form the right words to say. "Do you trust me?" he asked, leaning closer to her ear. "Do you believe in me when I say I won't hurt you?"
She didn't know how to answer, she was unable to make her tongue work. The drumming in her chest grew even wilder and she was certain he could hear it. So she nodded.
He heard no answer though he felt her movement. He wanted to jump for joy and live within that moment. He planted a light peck on her cheek. "Then trust me. No fear, okay?"
"Okay."
"Good."
Author's Note: I dunno just feel like being sensual.
Cleaning
A DEAD BODY OF AN UNKNOWN FEMALE WAS FOUND ON SMOKEY MOUNTAIN LAST FRIDAY EVENING. BASED ON THE AUTOPSY REPORTS GATHERED BY OUR CORRESPONDENTS IT'S ANOTHER VICTIM OF MANILA SERIAL KILLER. OUR NATION IS AT RISK. WHERE ARE THE POLICE? WHY...
A chill run down the man's spine and he folded the newspaper in half before tacking it away in his drawer. The whole nation was getting frantic about the serial killer roaming the streets. There were news of the dead girl on every channel in the television and radio. Pictures were even circulating social media just minutes ago but it was immediately put down.
It was the eight girl and people were getting weary. It has been four months since the first killing and the authorities were still keeping the people behind the shadows. Back then no one thought anything of it; speculations said it was personal but when another girl was found with the same MO and another one three weeks after that. The speculations changed, no one wants to speculate anymore. They only wanted answers.
This kind of hideous crimes were unheard of in the country. No one after Juan Severino Mallari was recorded and that priest wasn't even known by many. The man wouldn't even know him if he hadn't accidentally unearthed his story in the internet.
There's a veil of helplessness covering the people. The economy were even affected, women refused to go out at night afraid to be the next victim. Thus company's nightly operations were reduced to more than half capacity. And the areas were the victims were found became a ghost town after the third victim. People were moving out back to provinces.
Though somehow, the crime resulted to something beneficial. The densely populated city was now greener. Pollution diminished after percentage of the population were gone. And petty crimes were also reduced. The minors doesn't roam the streets on eerie hours anymore and the nights were a lot peaceful.
"Where are you going son?"
The man looked up to his mother down to the small watch in his right wrist. "I'll just have a stroll in the neighborhood mother."
"In this hour? Aren't you afraid of the killer? You kid, you're going to be the death of me!" his mother shouted, shaking her head.
"Mother, I am not a girl. Besides the streets are almost empty," reasoned out the man while he packed things on his bag pack.
"What are you even doing out there?"
The man smiled. "Don't worry about me, I'm just cleaning the streets. You know I'm doing social outreach program, right? It's for the good mother."
"Just be careful out there."
"I would mother. I would. The whole nation is watching me," he said mumbling the last words under his breath.
Author's Note: I'm really greatfull with today and yesterday. I'm so blessed I'm jumping for joy.i hope it continues.
Three
*Three fights. Three fucking fights. It’s just three fucking fights.*
Looking back at it, the first one was the easiest, I was hyped up with an energy of a raging bull, and though twice my size, my opponent was plain stupid. He looked at me as if I was a mere speck, someone that shouldn't be treated seriously, but he didn't know that little ones are the deadliest. We both exchanged a couple of punches and kicks before I got bored and used my favorite trick in the box, pulling that special vein behind the neck.
I started believing long ago that practice makes everything perfect. Through repeated killing, I have honed the craft like a good craftsman; within ten seconds flat the spasm subsided and the dead body dropped cold on the dark flooring. Releasing him, joyous shouting erupted around me signaling the triumph of those lucky bastards who bet for my victory. Yet, win or lose they may be, I don’t have freaking care, for the dead body by my feet was being hauled down the arena. Staring at it, I couldn't count how many times the cycle has gone on an endless rewind; of me hoping not to be forced to do the same act again and how circumstances had always eaten that hope.
The process of thinking was useless, not any moment longer, the second fight began. Unlike the first one, my next opponent was within my height but like the first one, he also got the body of someone who enjoyed eating steroids for breakfast. He was good at fist fighting, my first couple of punches never hit him or even graze for the matter. My stomach started churning with dreadful fear as a kick made me slipped on the sweat-covered floor. An elbow then took a blow on my side and for few seconds the only thing that registered on my ears was the loud cracking of my rib.
"Ah!" I groaned helplessly, curving into a ball. The only thing that I could do then was to protect my head as kick after kick connected to my body. Though nothing seemed to reach my brain but the pain of every hit. It. was. so. much. pain.
"That's it? That's all you got? Pathetic!" shouted the guy as he picked me up by my left ear. "It's easy money for me then. I thought Koskov's new pet would be fun but I guess I was wrong," he snickered closely to my ear then he dropped me hard, banging my head.
I got enough, "I'm not anyone's pet!" I spurted out of frustration. Before another blow hit me, I sprawled to the side grabbing the man's incoming foot. It was so sudden, I caught him off guard and the same wetness made him slipped, face first. A loud umph echoed through the room and I didn't waste any time. I managed to sit up and jumped on his back to take hold of one of his arms. But the man was already unmoving, a pool of blood was already under his head. I felt his pulse with my fingers, he was only unconscious. My work wasn't done yet. I fisted both my hands on his unruly hair then I started pounding.
Pound. pound. pound.
One, two, three, I didn't know for how many. My mind was blank, what mattered was to kill him and be done with it.
A hand grabbed my shoulder, taking me away from the lifeless body under me. I fought through aimlessly; I was restrained by two men. It was seconds before I came back from the relapse. That it finally sunk in how fucking lucky I was. And I noticed how my hands were both covered with red, the blood of the murderer I killed. I cast further my eyes down to the body that was being dragged away, to the dancing blood and to the chunks that were supposed to be the man's brain.
A rumble started in my stomach. My knees became wobbly and they connected to the floor as the men restraining me, loosened their grip. I heaved out air, wanting to puke out the food I last ate but none came out. Only a fit of coughing and a puddle of drool.
I wasn't done yet but I was pulled up to my feet, the audience wouldn't tolerate any stoppage on their stupid game as profanities were shouted in my direction. The third opponent climbed aboard; the biggest manic smile I have ever seen in my entire life was plastered on his face. I cringed at the sight of him, of the scars that adorned his dark skin from head to toe.
He laughed seeing me grew afraid of him. I was, all I wanted to do was crawl somewhere and hide. Each step he took closer to me became an alarm. My body wouldn't move a muscle, it kept negating the frantic orders I was sending my brain. *Move! Godammit move!* Nothing happened, the pleading was just futile. He was looming closer to me and I couldn't do anything about it.
With the last option in my pocket-- even though I knew it wouldn't work--I used both hands to lift each leg, coaxing them to move, but I was too late. A blow came sending me across the other side of the arena. I hit the metal railings making me groan loudly in so much agony.
Death. It would be so much easier if I died then. The overbearing pain that I was experiencing made the idea more appealing, like that strong craving an addict got for drugs or an alcoholic got for alcohol. At least everything would all stop. I could be free from the nightmares, the monsters, and especially the pain. With broken ribs, strained muscles, bruised body, the feeling of drowning without water was pure torture. I almost wished for the reaper to come and get me. But as my mind jumped back to where I started, putting all the effort into the trash, I felt the adrenaline coursed through my system.
Just another one, the last one, and it would be all done, I reminded myself. I needed to keep going, that was the only option I got. With the remaining ounce of energy left inside me, I managed to stand up.
I would do anything to survive.
Author's Note: bear with me I'm really tired today. Election is tiring. Ugh
Mommy
Author's Note: All my works are fictions unless stated in the Author's Note. Hahah. Don't be misled by my usage of 'I'. I don't usually give my characters names. It is part of the being open-ended sort of thing.
By the way this one will be a tribute to mother's day.
"Ha!" The woman breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh, I wouldn't have known what to do if I didn't find you!" she exclaimed, as she knelt down to the height of the child. "Now, now, now. Hush it, it's okay. Mommy is here," she hugged the child and started patting his back, consoling his tears.
The kid latched to her with one arm while the other rubbed furiously at his eyes. The sun shined through them and he was blinded for a few seconds. Unintelligible words came out of his mouth and his crying only worsen.
The woman rounded her eyes to their surrounding and there was now a group of spectators circling them murmuring words she couldn't quite hear. She grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him. "Honey it's okay mommy is here. You don't have to worry about anything let's go home now, okay?" she said catching a few eyes on their direction.
The child struggled against the woman's grasp but she held him steadily until they reached her car. She lifted the small child and fastened him on the seat at the back.
"No." The kid finally uttered a word coherently. "No. Let me out, you are not my mother!" he shouted, kicking at his seat. But it was too late, the car already started and no one was seeing him through the dark tinted window.
The woman turned her head to the crying child, "It's okay, Honey. I'm your mommy now. You don't have to worry about anything."
Author's Note: a li'l creepy tribute. Happy Mother's day again y'all. Good night!
Years
I was five when the shouting started. My mom and dad would be in constant battle. They would pretend to smile whenever I'm in front of them and hit it off again when the lights are off. I would cover my ears with my hands to deafened the noise.
I was seven when my dad left. I got home from school one day and found my mom staring blankly at the porch. She told me dad wouldn't be coming back anymore. The shouting stopped only to be replaced by silence. I missed the shouting. The silence was far louder than my parents' voices.
I was eight when I first smelled alcohol in my mom's breath. She wasn't herself ever since my dad left. I tried to help her. I hide the bottles away from her. But she always finds it. She always smelled the same.
I was twelve when I first refused to cry. I didn't want people to see my weakness. I didn't cry even as my mom's unconscious body was wheeled out of our house after an over doze. My eyes stung but I held the tears inside me.
I was eighteen when I moved out. I was finally free away from the clutches of my parents' insanity. But the silence followed me everywhere.
I was twenty-two when I received a call from mom. She was crying and asked for forgiveness. She asked if I was okay. I didn't know what to say so I said I was happy. That everything is okay. But I was never okay.
I was twenty-nine when I pressed the red button. When the silence was the loudest.
Author's Notes: Melancholia fills the air. There's something about today that made me sad.
Sickness
"You can't control me!" I screamed at dinner then stormed out not hearing anything my parents' were yelling at me. I had enough nonsense. I was suffocating. I didn't even give a damn when they knocked on my door repeatedly for almost an hour.
What would be the use when they wouldn't answer my why's.
Since my sixteenth birthday they had been paranoid about something they wouldn't tell me. Yes, I blacked out at my party and hit my head at the pool. I was comatose for two days but the doctors found nothing wrong. I even have a clean bill of health. But my parents' says otherwise, they suddenly set out ground rules and even a curfew. Why? A year ago I can party until dawn without a hassle. And now, I can't even go to a sleepover? Jessica is not a stranger, she is my best friend, basically a sister! We've known each other since diaper years.
So why the fuck are my parents' treating me like a freaking prisoner?
*She has it* too. *She has the sickness too.* I heard my mother said over the phone when I came home from the hospital. I was climbing out of the car when I heard her voice. When I entered the house, she was in the kitchen. It was good one hundred meter away from the garage but I swear it was her voice.
That was the thing, ever since I woke up my senses were heightened; I don't even need the thick glasses that used to cover my foggy eyes. It seemed that the fall cured my sight?
I don't know. Maybe I banged my head in the right place.
I sighed and opened my window quietly. My parents wake up at every little sound they hear and run to my room like lunatics. *What is wrong honey? Is something bothering you? Common you can tell us!*
It irks me everytime they do that.
I squeezed my eyes shut and inhaled the cold breeze before jumping out. I was surprised, I made it out effortlessly. I remembered it being high, or was it? Maybe I just grew taller? I shook my head and run to the direction of Jessica's house.
The shortcut was in the forest. I'm afraid to take this road before however, there was this weird inclining inside me, pulling me to that path. I remembered the forest to be dark and eeriely quiet. But now it wasn't, everything shines over the huge moon and sounds of animals filled the air. Maybe I just remembered things differently, too differently.
I stopped walking. Someone was following me, there were the sound of crunching leaves at my back.
My heart pounded fast. There was a news on the telly this morning about a girl found in the woods stabbed to death.
I panicked. I glared at my back, looking for the maniac. I saw too glowing circles about five hundred meters away to the east.
What would I do?
Think! Think Carmella! Think!
I snarled. A warm feeling spread out through my body, the moon shined over my head. Then the warmth was replace by searing pain. "Ah!" I screamed. *What is happening to me?*
I dropped to the ground fighting away the pain. I screamed loudly, "Ah!"
I could hear my bones cracking as my clothes were torn into pieces. The trees grew smaller and the next thing I knew I was running to the direction of the glowing eyes. And I could hear the sound of the man's pounding heart as he screamed bloody hell.
*Was it the sickness my mom was talking about?*
Author's Note: yeah you guess it I like mythical creatures too. How's life po kamusta naman kayo? Humahabol lang ako sa araw Sayang Ang one article per day na pants ko mwahahah. I hope you enjoy po. Thanksuuuu!
Phantasm
*Reality is your dream, becoming a nightmare.*
"Don't just suck! Play with the darn thing. Give it some love. Feelings! Emotions! That face, fix it right this moment, show that you're enjoying it! My child, how would you please young master with that kind of stoic face?"
My teacher's sultry voice seeped through my skin and though I was accustomed to the nature of my lessons, I was still reluctant to do anything she says. I never had approved in doing them, they were all laid upon me without my permission. And I just blindly followed their will like a good service dog. It was always the easiest way around not to retaliate.
To the obvious eyes, it would be my fault but what good it would do me-- fighting them. I always ask that question myself and every time I did was useless, there was never a good enough answer. There was never a way to escape.
"Eliza, are you listening to me? you move like a robot! Without emotion, you could never win anyone’s heart. That is not the way to do it! Look at me! Let me have it!" Venicia snapped at me, snatching away the plastic rubbery penis in my hand.
She swatted me away, our position reversed. The sex toy went to her open mouth almost disappearing the whole length in an instant. Her eyes drilled on mine, imagining me as her employer, Yulian, demanding me to bow down and worship her.
Guttural sounds filled the room.
Venicia started to massage the length of the dildo with her two hands-- up and down, up and down she went. Her tongue played with the round top and with a rhythmical motion she would bob her head down to almost swallowing the whole thing in her mouth. Spit ran down the side of her lips. The black of her eyes disappeared as she enveloped herself with lust and wanting.
My stomach revolted with her sight and I almost wanted to puke on my spot.
I clenched my arms around my stomach trying to fight away the revolting sensations while my eyes were still fixated on my teacher's figure. I avoided blinking as to not give way to my inner thoughts.
I wanted to fight it. The idea of becoming like her is out of my wildest dream. Though, fate was never on my side. Fate was the greatest enemy I have had, for no matter how I deny it, even to myself, I am already like Venecia. My family created me to be just like her long before I fully understand everything.
"Let me have my try," I said feeling tired. The desire of having it done was overbearing at the moment. Succumbing to their rules rather than igniting defiance was much easier and favorable.
Venecia reached for the drawer and handed me a new dildo. My hands reluctantly wrapped around the toy; massaging its rubbery texture. I spat in its head giving it a lube. A big sigh escaped my lips. I would rather sit my whole day behind the heaps of books that surrounded us and learn about the great voyage of Vasco de Gama or Marcopolo. Training how to seduce a man is pointless when every man on earth is fueled with testosterone, any women are capable of seducing a man. And what is there to learn besides them having an ego the size of Pacific?
"Eliza," urged Venecia, she said the name more than once and I hadn't responded to it. I could not get accustomed to the foreign name. Names are the proof of someone's identity and Yulian stripped me of mine when he gave me Eliza. "Child? Are you going to do it or not?" She was angry and frustrated, yet her words wouldn't penetrate through my brain. She was just another version of Candice.
Drained. I closed my eyes. The dildo seemed to have grown in my hands. It seemed to have a life of its own, a heart beating within my grip. I palmed it the same motion Venicia did, the same way Candice taught me when I was much younger.
*"What is it?" I asked Candice with innocence.*
*She bent her head to the side to think for a while. "What does it look like?" she inquired.*
*"Um..." I wasn't sure how to answer her, I knew what the thing looks like but I was afraid of what she would make me do with it.*
*"Do you know what is it for? Child, we're not playing, this here is your lesson so please..." Her voice implied sternly.*
*Tears brimmed the side of my eyes but I held them dearly, I didn't want Candice to see me crying. I didn't want any stick; it hurts a lot. I swallowed the lump on my throat. "It's a toy use for pleasure."*
*"Yes, it is, my child. Now that you have your first blood, you’re already a woman. And that means your training will be different from now on," she explained, her hands on my shoulder while her mouth spoke directly to my ear.*
*"How?" I asked her in a very small voice, almost inaudible.*
*"We will start with this little thing. Now, what will you tell me, huh?"*
*"Mistress Candice, will you please teach me how to use it?"*
*"Of course, my child! Do it like this. Your hands in here at the tip then you slowly move them down then up and down and up again... Just like playing with your violin, you have to have a certain rhythm to it. Now, you have to use your mouth. Open those pink lips wide and move it down to the tip, use your tongue. Imagine your favorite ice cream flavor; the toy in your hand is your favorite ice cream and it’s all yours...own it... make them hunger for you…"*
The voice of Candice grew big inside my ears, a memory flashed in my head and I was gone. Sounds filled the room of my own moaning. I had mastered the thing long ago. I transformed my uncertainties into a fervor. Inside me birthed a new kind of a sensation I tried to hide even from myself. Weakness, my grandfather used to call it. But there in front of Venecia, I laid myself vulnerable.
My right hand motioned for the stray hairs blocking my face. Then it went down my chest, cupping my clothed breast. "Hmm." I moaned deeply as lust covered my entire being.
Gradually my eyes fluttered open. Two stormy gems greeted me with the intensity of an incoming typhoon. I had conjured his image after not seeing him for a week. He had left me without so much a single word after the first day of my arrival. And now, I was seeing him whole, the catalyst of this unfamiliar passion. But he was only a dream I created with my longing, there was nothing to be afraid of him. He was not real. He was just a figment.
I smiled sweetly. My head going up and down to the dildo in my left hand as my right hand continued palming my breasts. My eyes never leaving the gray ones of my phantom, Yulian. He was undressing me with his eyes that I felt naked under his piercing stares. The more he scrutinizes me the more that my body hunger for him. I wanted him. I craved for him. Those hands, those lips… ugh. I simply couldn’t resist the unknown desire my body just learned.
A tingling feeling started to build up inside my innards. I squeezed my legs shut and I knew I was nearing. His mere stares were able to send me into the deeps. But I stopped; my movement halted at once.
The ball in Yulian’s neck bobbed in an irregular motion. The grays wavered, "Send her to me after your lessons. Tell Maria to dress her for a night's event we're going somewhere." He then left; his footsteps echoed through the walls of the study.
He was real. He was real. He was real. He was fucking real! He was real and I was stupid!
I was panting really hard. There was a bullet raked in my heart and I suddenly had the urge to dig up a hole and bury myself for the entirety of my stay in Crestwood.
"Here, clean yourself." Venecia handed me a wad of tissue interrupting my paranoia.
I took it from her and wiped off the spit from my face and hands. "When did he came in?" I asked in a small voice. I hadn't heard him came into the room; I was too out of myself to have noticed Yulian.
"Just minutes ago. He came looking for you. Why?"
"Nothing. I'm just hungry, can I have my dinner now? before going to him?" I said checking my reflection through the windows. I looked like a mess, what I had done unnerved me; for him to see me like that. It was chaos but then I must be used to it.
A hand tapped my shoulder. "You did great," Venecia said with pride in her voice and a beaming smile.
I paid no attention to her remark. I never wanted to be good at it. I was always good at it. It wasn’t a blessing; it was a curse.
We walked in silence my mind kept traveling back to the study, back to the stormy gray eyes of my buyer and the stupidity I made him see.
The Question
"I have a question for you." A sultry voice of a girl echoed in my right ear as an arm enveloped my waist.
I turned my head to meet the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in the entire world. My heart melted in an instant. "What is it darling? You know I'd do anything for you." I kissed her, pulling her closer to me. Inhaling her sweet scent.
"Silly man, of course I know that but I won't ask for anything. It's just a question I want you to answer." She put both of her hands on each of my cheeks. "Just answer my question, okay?"
I nodded my yes. "Anything for you my love."
"Well, let's say--" she stopped and cleared her throat. I could sense her uncertainty but I let it slide. I don't have a single idea about her mysterious question. However, I stayed calm. Whatever it is, it wont change the fact that I love her.
"Just ask love. You're making me jittery with all the anticipation," I said chuckling taking her hands down.
The ball in her neck bobbed as bead of sweat formed in her forehead and her hands felt clammy. "Okay. Okay. Okay--" she kept repeating her eyes cast down on our feet. "Well, what if I die tomorrow? What if--"
"What are you rambling about?" I interjected, stopping her nonsense. What kind of question is that anyway?
"No. No. Just listen. You promised to answer it. And I am not finish yet. Let me have your answer please."
"Fine." I turned facing away from her.
"What if I die tomorrow?" She stopped again waiting for my reaction. When I said nothing, only then she continues. "What if I die tomorrow? Will you marry again?"
I balled my hands. How could she ask those things to me? "Why--" I stopped myself. "I won't. And why would you even die tomorrow?"
"Why? I want you to marry. I want you to find new happiness. I want you to find someone worth loving. Because my love, you deserve to be love." A single tear rolled down her face as a sad smile curved on her lips.
"Bit how do you expect me to find someone worthy when I have you here? You are my love. You're the only one I will love."
I don't like what I'm seeing and I don't want to know the reason behind her question. I don't want to hear the next words that will be coming out of her mouth. No! NO!
"But I am dying. The cancer--"
"Are you okay? Hey, are you okay? Hon?"
I blinked twice or maybe even more. I pulled away from the memory. I diverted my focus on the woman tugging in my arm. "Yeah I am all good. Don't worry about me, okay?" I smiled at her and turned my gaze to the man in front of us.
"Now, are you ready?" I nodded my yes. The man sighed, "well, do you take this woman as your wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto you pledge thee your faith?"
I couldn't make my lips move. There was this tiny portion of my heart that kept saying I cannot, that I would be betraying her. But I know this is what she would have wanted. I found the woman whom worthy of my love. Whom she would have loved too.
"I do father. I do."
Author's Note: I don't know if I conveyed the right emotions because I'm also devastated today. My cat died and my heart is broken to prices right now. Thank you if you're reading this.
Bully
**C***razy.*
*Weirdo.*
*Looney.*
*Freak.*
The girl could hear them all perfectly, though she chose to ignore them all. She had been numb for all the words, all the beatings she receives. It was as if all the hurt turned into a void space inside her. There was so much more than the pain that they inflict her, like the constant grumble in her stomach.
"*Why aren't you changed yet?"* Her swim teacher yelled. She walked in late in the class not ready for a swim. She didn't want to change nor want to attend the class. But she needs to graduate and get far away.
"I'll...change," the girl mumbled, running with her bag. She changed into a skimpy suit, she felt naked though her body was half covered. They all say she's *ugly,* some says it was the reason her mom killed herself, because she couldn't stomach to look at her. She never knew how her mom looked like, her dad kept all her pictures. Hiding them all away from her reach.
She walked in the pool, arms hugging her stomach tightly, eyes cast down the cement floor. "What are you waiting for? Get in the water!" came again the angry voice of her teacher. Nodding her head nonchalantly, she went over the side of the pool. Snickered whisperings erupted, she fought hard the urge of covering her ears.
A step closer, her foot dip down the cold blue water. Chilling her body, she withdrew her foot like a scared cat. More laughter, more whispers came.
*So the weirdo is afraid of the water!*
*Freak!*
*Push her!*
*Let's drown her!*
A hand at her back, pushed her down the pool. She dropped face down with a big splash. The chlorine water stung her eyes and she closed them. A mouthful or two of the water entered forcefully down her throat through her lungs. Flailing hands came up in the air.
No one might have known that this was her first time in the water or no one cared that she was starting to drown. Howls of laughter only silenced her screaming. "Help...Help...Help," she kept repeating.
The lights were starting to disappear and her body was slowly sinking down the bottom of the pool. She couldn't pull her weight anymore, she was becoming a stone and darkness was pulling her away.
*One. Two. Three. Four. Five.*
Someone pulled her out. A cold hand pressed at her bare shoulders. *"I will make them suffer."* A voice whispered in her ear before everything went into total blackness.
Author's Note: I know it has beeeeeen soooo long. But I'm back! And I would be here for good. Writing away my melancholia. How's life on your side of the world btw?
Anomaly (Part 19: Mabilis na Paglipas ng Oras)
PAng oras mabilis na lumilipas at kahit gaano mo pa gustuhing ibalik ang lahat sa dati'y hindi na maaari, ang nakaraan ay nakaraan na. Kagaya ng araw na naging linggo hanggang sa maging buwan ito at hindi ko na alam kung gaano na ako katagal tumigil sa pag-asang babalik pa si Franco. Minsan kapag pumipikit ang mga mata ko, pilit kong ibinabalik ang sarili sa dalawang linggong nakasama ko siya, sa mga oras na nakaramdam ako ng kasiyahan kasama ang isang taong hindi ko inakalang magiging malaking parte pala ng buhay ko. Nangungusap ako sa puso kong alalahanin ang lahat ng emosyong naramdaman ko kasama siya noong mga panahon na iyon, pero kahit anong pagpupumilit ko, katulad ng oras, lahat ng emosyong lumipas ay hindi ko na magagawang ibalik pa. Ang tanging natitirang ala-ala na lang niya sa akin ay ang taong siya ring tumutulong para makalimot ako.
"Hey! Guess who's this," isang boses ang mahinang bumulong sa tainga ko at dalawang malaking palad ang tumakip sa aking mga mata. Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay at pinakiramdaman ang mga ito. Kahit pa naman noong malayo pa ito ay alam ko na kung sino siya. Kabisado ko na ang tunog ng yapak ng kaniyang mga paa, ang hingal kasama ng kaniyang paghinga kahit ang tibok ng kaniyang munting puso. At higit sa lahat, siya lang ang tanging taong kayang magparamdam sa akin ng ganitong kasiyahan.
"Marco," mahina kong tugon.
"Are you okay? Nandito ka na naman sa punong 'to. Iniisip mo na naman ba si Franco?" Tanong niya, ang mga mata biglang bumaling sa malayo sa asul na kalangitan.
Tumango ako kahit na alam kong hindi niya makikita ito. "Bukas na ang *equinox,* may susuotin ka na ba sa sayaw? Gusto mo samahan kitang pumili?" Pagliliko ko ng usapan.
"Don't worry, sasamahan ako ni Samuel. And, I think you girls would just take all of our time pagsinama namin kayo, para naman kasing magpapaiwan sina Di at Thea. Tsaka kasama ko naman 'yung lima..." Hindi nito tinuloy ang sinasabi. Naintindihan ko naman kung bakit, kahit matagal na namin kasama ang 'yung mga taong putik, hindi pa rin namin maiwasan ang ilangan sa isa't isa.
"Sabagay--" Huminto ako, hinatak ang kuwelyo ng suot nito. "White would look really good on you," nakangiti kong sabi rito, ang mga mata namin parehong nakatitig sa isa't isa. Pinakawalan ko ito tapos ay natatawang naglakad palayo. "Mauna na ako may klase pa kami ni Dianna, so sa bahay na lang?"
Kumurap ako at biglang nawala ito sa paningin ko. Isang segundo pa ay hawak-hawak na ako nito sa baywang, ang mukha niya sobrang lapit sa mukha ko. "Wala man lang ba akong goodbye kiss?"
Pabiro ko itong hinampas ko at ibinaba niya ako sa sahig. "Tse! 'Wag na pinapatay mo naman ako sa kaba!" Sigaw ko sa kaniya pero walang kung anu-anong hinila kong muli ang kuwelyo nito at binigyan ng mabilis na halik sa labi saka tinulak ito at tuluyan na akong umalis papunta sa susunod na klase. Ang mahinang tawa at mabilis na tibok ng puso kaniyang ay naiwang umaalingawngaw sa tainga ko.
Sa nilagi ko sa eskuwelahan ng San Jaoquin, nasanay na ang sistema ko sa mga paulit-ulit na ginagawa sa araw-araw. Ang paggising nang maaga, pagpasok sa klase at pag-uwi sa bahay pagkatapos nito. Maayos ang lahat kung iyong titingnan sa labas pero hindi iyon ang totoo. Dahil kasabay nang lahat ng ito ang pag-aantay ko ng balita tungkol sa mga nawawala. Anim na buwan, ganoon na katagal na walang balita sa kanila at ganoon na rin katagal na namamahala ang pinakamatanda kong kapatid kapalit ng aking ama. Ang huli kong narininig galing kay kuya Lyndon ay maayos naman daw ang lahat, pero hindi ako naniniwala dahil madalas kabaligtaran ang lumalabas sa kanila. Kahit sa aking ina, ano mang pilit ang gawin ko ay tikom ang bibig nito.
Tumingala ako sa isang ibong lumilipad, nakainggit ito na malaya siyang nakagagalaw at nakakalipad kung saan man niya gustuhin. Sa totoo lang matagal ko nang ginugustong tumakas sa mga pader na kumukulong sa akin dito sa San Jaoquin pero may kung anong pumipigil sa akin na gawin iyon, dahil may pakiramdam akong dito ko mahahanap ang mga kasagutan sa ilang tanong ko, kung hindi man lahat. Siguro kailangan ko lang talagang matutong mag-intay...
*Ump.* Napatumba ako nang hindi ko nakikitang bagay at napaupo ang puwetan ko sa damuhan.
Isang kamay ang umalok sa akin ng tulong, "Hi, um, pasensya ka na hindi kasi ako tumitingin sa dinadaanan ko."
Kinuha ko ang kamay at ang mga mata ko tumama sa mukha ng nagmamay-ari nito: Itim na buhok, mapupulang mga labi at dalawang pares ng dilaw na mata, dilaw na mata. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo habang isang kakaibang pakiramdam ang dumadaloy sa katawan ko. May kung ano sa lalaking kaharapan ko, alam kong hindi ko pa ito nakikita pero may bagay na nagsasabing pamilyar siya sa akin. "No, I'm the one who is at fault here, ako 'yung hindi tumitingin." Nagtaas ako ng kamay at tumuro sa kalangitan.
"I guess parehas tayong may kasalanan. Iñigo nga pala." Muli nitong iniabot sa akin ang kamay.
Kinuha ko ito at nakipagkamay. "Adrianna, Yanna na lang," pagpapakilala ko naman sa kaniya.
"So, nice meeting you Yanna. Um, alam mo ba ang papunta sa main building? Medyo naliligaw na kasi ako, I'm getting bored with that Anna kaya humiwalay ako," natatawang pagpapaliwanag nito.
"Bago ka?"
"Yep,"maikli nitong sagot.
"Fae," mahina kong bulong.
Kumurap ang lalaki, "Ow, yes my eyes are always a tell, yellow as the sun. You? Mahirap kang basahin, your brainwaves are all over the place."
"Yeah... I'm blocking, vampire by the way," pagsisinungaling ko.
"Talaga? Hmm...curiouser curioser," kakaibang sagot nito.
Naalala kong may kailangan pala akong puntahan. "A, may klase pa ako kaya hindi kita masasamahan pero 'yung main building diretso lang doon." Tumuro ako sa kalasada sa likuran ko. "Pero p'wede ka namang dumaan sa portal, mga alas dos magbubukas ang isa duon sa may bus stop."
"Ganoon ba? Sige salamat, ingat ka Yanna." Tumango ako at nagsimula muling maglakad.
Hindi ko maialis sa isipan ang pagiging pamilyar ng lalaki, sa isang beses pa ay huminto ako para lingonin ito. Ang likod niya ang tanging nakita ko. Pumikit ako at pilit inabot ang isipan nito, sa loob ng anim na buwan ay natutunan kong unti-unting kontrolin ang mga kakayahan ko. Inisip ko ang pagbukas ng isang pintuan, dahan-dahan ko itong binuksan ngunit kahit ilang beses ko pang pihitin ang bukasan ng pintuan ay hindi ko magawa, may isang puwersang pumipigil sa akin. Napagod ako at sawi kong binuksan ang mata. Halos mapatalon ako sa kinatatayuan nang makita kong nakatitig sa akin si Iñigo at isang ngiti ang nakaguhit sa mukha nito. Namula ang mga pisngi ko at mabilis akong tumalikod para magpatuloy sa paglalakad ang dibdib ko hindi matapos sa katatambol.
Nagsisimula na ang klase nang makarating ako sa *academic building* kaya naman marahan na lang akong sumingit sa gitna ni Dianna at Althea.
"Bakit ka kinakabahan?" Tumingin ako kay Althea.
"Ha?"
"Your heart dear, it won't shut up. Don't tell me you and Franco did some skedaddle kaya ka na-late?"
"No!" Napalakas ang boses ko.
"Shhh...papagalitan kayo ni--"
Hindi pa tapos sa sasabihin si Dianna ay pumalit na agad ang boses ng aming guro. "Late na nga nagdadaldalan pa? You won't want to have detention this afternoon Miss Carlos or do you?"
"No sir!" Malakas kong sagot.
"Then stand up and explain the significance of the event for tomorrow."
Huminga ako nang malalim at tumayo, "Tomorrow would be spring equinox, the only day in the year where the day equals the night and/or vice versa. Equinox signifies different customs and traditions for us supernaturals, kagaya ng paniniwalang mas makapangyarihan ang lahat ng potions at charms na gawa sa araw na ito lalo na ang tungkol sa pagibig. May ilan namang nagsasabing ito raw ang araw kung saan pinakamahina ang bawat pinuno. Pero, higit sa lahat ang equinox ay nagpapahiwatig ng bagong simula. Halos lahat ng kauri natin ay pinapanganak sa araw ng *equinox.*"
"And what makes tomorrow more special than the usual equinox?" Dagdag na tanong pa ng aming guro.
"There would be a full blue moon na maghuhudyat ng simula nito," sagot ko.
"Right! Very good miss Carlos!" Huminto ito, tumungo sa kaniyang lamesa at nakangiting humarap sa mga estud'yante niya. "Sinong nakakaalam ng alamat ng asul na buwan?" Lahat ng estud'yante kasama ako ay nagtaas ng kamay. Lahat naman siguro ay alam ang tungkol sa kuwentong iyon, lahat daw ng kahilingang ibubulong sa asul na buwan ay mabibigyan ng katuparan. Hindi ko alam kung may katotohanan nga sa sabi-sabing iyon dahil isang beses lang sa isang daang tao lumalabas ang ganoong kulay ng buwan. "Lahat na ba kayo nakapag-isip ng kahilingan?"
*Oo,* gusto kong isagot sa kaniya. Gustong makitang muli si Franco. Wala naman sigurong mawawala kung susubukan kong humiling, hindi ba? Pero, masama rin ang umasa sa walang kasiguraduhan, mas malala pa sa paniniwalang puputi rin ang uwak. Umiling ako at bumaling ng tingin sa bintana sa harapan ko. Nagbingi-bingihan ako sa mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng aming guro, para sa'n pa at makinig ako kung hindi ko rin naman ito maiintindihan, kung lumilipad din naman ang isip ko.
*Isa.dalawa.tatlo.*natapos na parang bula ang mga klase ko.
"Ang tahimik mo, kanina ka pa gan'yan, a?" Tanong ni Dianna.
"Kaya nga, hindi ba sasabay sa atin si Franco kumain? Pati si Sam parang wala 'ata tsaka 'yung damuhong kambal ng irog mo," Dagdag pa ni Althea.
Sumubo ako ng kanin at ulam sabay iling, "Bumibili ng damit para mamayang gabi. Alam niyo na, mga pabebe laging last minute."
"Daig pa tayong mga girls," komento ulit ni Althea.
"Parang mas malala pa nga tayo, nu'ng 'sang buwan pa tayo bumili ng damit, excited much lang ang peg," singit naman ni Dianna.
"Maiba nga tayo ng usapan." Hinila ni Althea ang braso namin ni Dianna para lubusang kuhanin ang atensyon naming dalawa. "I saw a papable guy kanina! Nu'ng pagkatapos natin sa Myths and Legends. Mukhang bago nga e, parang may hinahanap."
"Talaga? Anong itsura?" Pag-uusisa ko.
"Althea!" Biglang sigaw ni Dianna sa tabi ko matapos siyang bugahan ng tubig ni Althea sa mukha. "Kadiri ka! Ano ba'ng problema mo!?"
"Ka-kasi! Kasi!" Paulit-ulit nitong sabi habang ang kanang kamay nito tumuro pataas sa likuran ko. "Papunta siya dito," bulong pa nito.
Sabay kaming napatalikod ni Dianna. Isang lalaki ang umakbay sa akin, si Iñigo. "Hi, Yanna. Napagod ako, ang laki pala ng San Joaquin, ano?" Ibinaba ko ang kamay nito umaarteng hindi ako kinakbahan sa presensiya niya at nagpatuloy ako sa pagkain, umangat ang tingin ko sa kaharap, nanlalaki ang mga mata ni Althea at bahagyang nakabukas pa ang bibig.
"Hello to you too, Iñigo. Kain?"
"Kilala mo siya?" Sabay na tanong ni Dianna at Althea.
"Yep, siya 'yung dahilan ba't ako na-late kanina. Kaya tama na ang kakaisip na nakipag-skedaddle ako kay Franco." Tumawa ang mga kaibigan ko at naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng mga pisngi ko.
"You are a vampire, right?" Tumango ako. "Bakit ka nakain ng pagkain?" Tumuro ito sa plato ko.
"Because I like to," sarkastiko kong sagot sabay lagok sa boteng nasa lamesa.
"Just curious, sino nga pala si Franko? By the way I heard there will be a dance this night, can you be my date, ha, Yani?"
"Bakit ba ang dami mong tanong? Tsaka 'wag mo nga akong binibigyan ng nickname!"
"Franco is the vampire prince and her significant," sagot ni Althea dito na malaki ang ngiti. "Kaya that means she's taken. Hindi mo ba kami ipapakilala, Yani?" Sabi nito na ginaya pa ang binigay napalayaw sa akin ni Iñigo.
"Ow, yeah totally forgot, si Althea nga pala at si Dianna," pagpapakilala ko sa mga kasama.
"You are mated? Kailan pa?"
"Aba at--" natigilan ako.
"Iñigo, tama na nga 'yan," isang boses nagsalita sa likod ko. Napalingon ako rito at dalawang lalaki ang ngayon nakatayo sa likuran namin ni Iñigo, ang isa sa mga ito nakadantay ang kamay sa balikat ni Iñigo. "Sorry kung iniistorbo kayo nitong kaibigan namin, Vincent by the way at ito naman si Lord," turo niya sa kasama.
"Hi!" Sabay-sabay naming bati nila Dianna at Althea.
"Kain?" Alok ni Althea sa mga ito.
Umiling si Vincent, "We don't eat human food."
"So, you are all faes then."
"Yes. Iñigo, we have to go now tama na ang kulitan," pagyayakag ni Vincent sa kasama. Sinubukan kong basahin ang isip ng dalawang bagong dating ngunit kagaya nang nangyari kay Iñigo ay wala akong narinig kung hindi isang nakabibinging tunog kagaya nang ingay na ibinibigay ng radyong walang masagap na estasyon. Napangiwi ako at napakapit sa ulo dahil dito.
"Something wrong?" Baling na tanong ni Iñigo sa akin.
"Nothing," sagot ko rito.
"Iñigo, ano ba?" Pamimilit ni Vincent dito.
"Yeah, yeah...I am going just get your hands off me man!" Tumayo si Iñigo at humarap sa amin, "So I am going now, nice meeting you guys." Pagpapaalam nito. Hindi ko alam kung nakaalis na ba ito ngunit ang mainit na hanging dumampi sa tainga ko ay ang nagsabing nasa likuran ko pa rin ito. "I am still looking forward on dancing with you Yani. And, please stop reading our minds." Isang kuryente ang dumaloy sa kalamnan ko.
Liningon ko si Iñigo ngunit ang likuran lamang nito at ng mga kasama niya na naglalakad palayo ang nakita ko. Ang pakiramdam na iniwan niya sa sistema ko ay pilit ginugulo ang isipan ko. Sino ba talaga siya?
......
Pasensya na mahilig kasi ako sa harem.hahaha.
Nauubos na Ang sponsors ko Dito . Huhu so sad.
jes♥
Anomaly (Part 18: Lihim na Pilit Itinatago)
"Celestine, I missed you, anak." Mahigpit akong niyakap ng aking ina.
"I missed you too," mahina kong sagot dito.
"Ahem." Bumaling kaming lahat sa mukha ni Anna. May iilang estudyante ang tumitingin sa direksyon namin.
"Hindi dito ang tamang lugar, first lady?" Dagdag pa nito.
"Tama, tama. I'm sorry, let us go now." Humiwalay ang mga kamay ng aking ina sa akin, naglakad ako sa likuran nito kasunod sina Dianna at Marco. Maingat na hindi maka-hatak nang higit pang atensyon.
*You look exactly like her, beautiful.*
Ngumiti ako sa direksyon ni Marco, "I know."
Nang makalabas kami sa likurang parte ng *academic building* ay dumiretso kami sa parteng walang masyadong tao. "Mas magandang dumaan nalang kayo sa portal. Dianna? Lyndon is already at your house. So, maiwan ko na kayo."
Umalis si Anna kasabay ng pamilyar na huni sa hangin, isang lagusan ang ngayon ay nasa likod na nang malaking punong katabi nasa tabi ko. Pumasok kami rito at agad na lumabas sa harapan ng bahay namin ni Franco.
"Mama!" Masayang bati ni kuya Lyndon sa aming ina pagkapasok sa loob ng bahay na nasuiklian naman ng isang mahigpit na yapos. "How are you? Are you still--"
"I am fine, we are still looking for your dad but Richard is doing his best. So, we don't have anything to worry about. Besides...Celestine, won't you introduce me?" Bumaling ito sa mukha ng mga kasama ko.
"Oh, yeah...si Dianna at si Marco, my guardians--" huminto ako, hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang nagawa kong pagpapakilala kay Marco. "I-I guess the principal told you about them right, right?" Pagliliko ko sa usapan.
"Yes." Kinuha ng aking ina ang mga kamay ni Marco at Dianna at nakipag-kamay sa mga ito.
"Nice to meet you po," magka-sabay na sagot ng dalawa matapos ang pakikipagkamay. Para silang naging mga bato na nakakita ng isang artistang matagal nang hinahangaan.
Siniko ko sa tagiliran si Dianna, "Don't act so awakward, she is just my mom."
"But, she's the first lady," bulong sa akin ni Dianna.
"And, she can hear you." Tumawa si Marco at kuya Lyndon dahil dito, sabay naman nang pamumula ni Dianna.
"You can't blame her, she's like a big celebrity; biruin mo ang first lady, kaharap na namin?" Pagpapaliwanag ni Marco.
Nagkibit balikat ako, "Being the Wiccan princess is more cool for me."
"Tama na nga 'yan, para kayong mga bata. I'm buying food, any specifics? Ma? Celestine?" Pagsingit ni kuya Lyndon sa usapan.
"Chinese would do," suwestiyon ko.
"Okay, sige! Sasama ko muna 'tong dalawa, a?" Hindi na nakatanggi pa sina Dianna at Marco dahil walang kung anu-ano nang hilain sila palabas ni kuya Lyndon. "Talk to her," dagdag na bulong pa nito sa akin bago tuluyang lumabas ng pintuan.
Tahimik akong umupo sa *sofa,* nagpapaka-*busy* sa pagmamasid sa mga 'di makitang dumi sa kuko sa mga kamay. Ilang saglit pa, naramdaman ko ang bigat na umupo sa tabi ko. Dalawang kamay ang humawak sa mukha ko at marahang ibinaling ang mukha ko palayo sa mga kamay. Tumagal kaming ganoon lang, nagtitigan walang nagsasalita ang mga mata namin parehas sinusukat ang isa't isa.
"Anak, how are you? Nararamdaman ko, may gusto kang sabihin sa'kin." Pinagmasdan kong mabuti ang kabuuan ng mukha ng babaeng haplos-haplos ang mukha ko. Para akong tumitingin sa sariling repleksyon sa salamin, hindi maikaka-ilang mag-ina nga kami; maliban sa kulay ay para kaming pinagbiyak na bunga. Pilit kong iniisip kung paano niya nagagawang itago ang lahat sa sarili niyang anak. Ang mga luha, nangingilid sa mga mata ko. "Bother, spill me some crumbs?" Hindi ko magawang ibukas ang bibig ko para sabihin ang nasa saloobin. Mahirap ipaliwanag ang mga bagay na walang katumbas na salita. Mga emosyong kay tagal mong itinago hanggang sa hindi mo na ito kayang mailabas.
"Ikaw ma, will you spill me some crumbs? 'Yung katotohanan, ma," sabi ko. Ang mga kamay niya biglang tumigil sa paghaplos sa mukha ko pababa sa kanyang hita, kinuha ko ito at pinisil; inuudyukan siyang sabihin ang lahat sa akin. "Tell me everything, everything," pakiusap ko.
"Anak, hindi mo man maisip ngayon pero, nagawa lang namin ng ama mo ang lahat para sa kaligtasan mo. And trust me when I tell you na hindi pa ngayon ang tamang oras." Bumitaw ito sa pagkakahawak ko.
"Hanggang kailan, ma? Stop lying to me! Gaano pa katagal para maging tama 'yung panahon?" Umiling ito at naglakad patalikod patungo sa kusina. Ang boses niyang may bahid ng paglilihim ay tumakbong paulit-ulit sa utak ko. "Mom! Please!" Ang mga emosyong pinipigilan ko kanina ay biglang umagos palabas.
"Ahh!" Isang malakas na ungol ang umalulong kasunod ng sigaw ko. Tumakbo ako direksyon ng kusina para malaman ang nangyayari. Ang pigura ng aking ina ay ngayon nakahandusay na sa sahig, ang mga kamay niya nasa kaniyang dibdib, kusot-kusot ang dami na suot at namimilipit sa sakit.
"Ma!" Tumakbo ako papunta dito, "Marco! Tulong! Dianna! Kuya Lyndon!" Sigaw ko sa hangin habang pinapakinggan ang pulso ng aking ina; takot ang tumatakbo sa isipan ko. Hindi dapat gano'n ang inasal ko sa kaniya kanina, hindi ko dapat itinutuon ang galit ko sa kaniya.
"Celestine!" Sigaw ni kuya Lyndon pagkapasok sa pintuan; agad itong tumakbo sa tabi ko. Ang mga dala niyang supot naiwan sa may pintuan. "What happened?" Ipinatong nito ang tainga sa dibdib ng aming ina, "Are you okay, ma?" Hindi ito sumagot bagkus nanatili sa kaniyang pagkakabaluktot.
Umagos ang luha ko, "I dunno, biglaan na lang s'yang natumba at sumigaw. Is she okay? Tell me kuya. What have I done wrong?"
"Don't cry, it's maybe her and dad's bond. It is been almost four days, malamang nahihirapan na s'ya." Ipinaling niya ang ulo sa mga kasama, "Dianna, help me dalhin natin s'ya kay Simon. Marco, stay here with Celestine."
"No! Sasama ako!" Pinigil ko ng mga kamay ko ang paglapit sa akin ni Marco. I knew it was my fault, atleast part of it. "I need to be with her," mahina kong bulong.
Nagbuntong hininga si kuya Lyndon, "Fine, but we need to hurry up. Dianna?"
Tumango si Dianna at bumulong ng mga ekantasyon, "*Aperta ianua*." Humuni ang hanging nakapaligid sa amin katulad nang nanyari kanina at isang lagusan ang nagbukas. Agad binuhat ni kuya Lyndon si mama at pumasok sa lagusang nalikha.
Nanginginig akong tumayo sa kina-sasalampakan at sumunod sa kapatid, gayon din sina Marco at Dianna.
"Simon," bati ni kuya Lyndon sa bagong labas sa banyo na prinsipal.
"What are you all doing here? Lyndon? And, is that Elena?" Tumuro ang gulat na lalaki na nakatapis lang sa aking ina. "What's wrong with her? Are you all okay? May nangyari bang masama? Celestine, ikaw ayos ka lang ba?" Sunud-sunod pa nitong tanong.
"Just stop asking too much questions and help us!" Galit na singhal ni kuya Lyndon habang marahang ibinababa sa kama ang aming ina. Tumakbo pabalik sa banyo ang prinsipal at ilang segundo lang bumalik ito na naka-damit na. Pumunta ito sa paanan ng kama at sinapo ang ulo ng aking ina.
"Ge-get he-her away fr-from here," nangangatal na tugon ng aking ina.
"Marco, ilabas mo muna dito si Celestine," baling sa akin ng prinsipal.
"Pero? Mama!" Naramdaman ko ang pagkapit ng isang kamay sa braso ko. "Marco, teka lang. I need to stay."
"You need to," bulong sa tabi ko ni Dianna. Bumaling ang mukha ko rito, humihingi ng kasagutan, "Your making her feel more pain, reflecting your emotions to her, hightening her agony," pagpapaliwanag nito.
"Pe-pero."
"Come on, she'll be okay." Gusto kong magpumilit pero ang itsura ng aking ina na namimilipit sa sakit ang nagpapigil sa akin. Wala na akong nagawa at sumama na ako palabas kay Marco. Tahimik kaming naglakad sa madilim na pasilyo hanggang makalabas kami sa *main building;* ang kamay niya hindi nililisan ang braso ko. "*Tell me, what's running in that head of yours?"* Huminto kami sa paglalakad at napalingon ako sa mukha ni Marco, sa nangungusap niyang mga mata. Bumaba ang paningin ko sa hindi bumubukang bibig nito *"Try me, I'm always good at listening. 'Wag kang masyadong maging plastik sa sarili mo, ayos lang umiyak, ilabas mo lang ang lahat.*" Umiling ako at naupo sa pamilyar na puno. Sa puno kung saan ko unang nakita si Franco at nabuo ang koneksyon namin. Umupo sa tabi ko si Marco at pinunasan ang mga luhang hindi pa rin matapos sa pag-agos sa mga mata ko.
Hinawi ko paalis ang kamay ni Marco. Lumunok ako at malakas na umiyak, "I promised him na hindi na ako iiyak. Alam mo ba'ng pakiramdam ko hindi na siya babalik?"
"You don't know that, 'wag kang magsalita ng tapos."
"He said goodbye!" Sigaw kong pabulong sa kaniya. "He said goodbye in my dream and it felt so real."
"I-" Hindi magawa ni Marco na magsalita.
"And this? Everything that is happening to me. I'm even hurting my own mom. These powers, I'm having? They are only causing pain. Bakit pa ako nabigyan ng kapangyarihan kung hindi ko naman sila kayang gamitin nang maayos?" Naglabas ako nang malalim na hininga at tinuyo ang mga mata gamit ang suot na damit.
"Malalaman mo rin 'yon, lahat ng mga bagay ibinibigay dahil sa magandang rason."
"Naririnig mo ba ang sinasabi mo, ha Marco? How can I know? Kung lahat naman ng nakakaalam ay ayaw sa'king ipaliwanag ang mga bagay-bagay? How can I, If I keep on running in circles?"
"I don't know, hindi lang naman ikaw ang nahihirapan dito, Celestine. Nahihirapan din naman ako sa mga nangyayari," malamig na tono ni Marco.
"I know and also hurts me, that I am causing it. Pagod ka na ba? I won't blame you." Tumigil ako para lingunin ito; nakatingin siya sa kalangitan, sa bilugang buwan. "You know, I wanted to tell you to get loss, but, hindi ko kaya, kasi...I need you. Maybe--" huminto akong muli.
"Maybe?"
"I need to accept my new reality."
"And that is?"
"That you are my mate and I am never going to be normal again." Tumahimik kaming parehas, walang gustong bumasag sa katahimikang lumilibot sa amin, pareho kaming nakikiramdam. Isinandal ko ang uluhan sa balikat niya at pumikit. I know, I need to be strong and I will be. Kung ayaw nilang sabihin sa akin ang totoo ako ang hahanap ng paraan para mahanap ito at gagawin ko ang lahat.
*"Yanna? I mean, Celestine? Naririnig mo ba ako? Ayos na ang mom mo, she's resting now, pero hinahanap ka niya. The principal asked me to get you, aantayin ko kayo ni Marco dito sa labas ng main building," pangungusap ni Dianna sa isip ko.*
"Marco, we have to go," yugyog ko sa nakapikit na, na katabi.
"Is your mom, okay?" Tumango ako at tumayo. Agad akong binuhat ni Marco para mapabilis ang paglalakad namin. Pagkalapag ko sa sahig ay walang kung anu-anong iniwan ko ang dalawa at tumakbo agad papasok sa *main building*, paakyat sa hagdanan, ngunit napahinto ako sa labas ng kuwarto ng prinsipal. Natatakot ako sa kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ng aking ina, kung ano ang kaniyang sasabihin.
"Celestine, go ahead pumasok ka na." Bumukas ang pintuan at bumungad sa akin ang mukha ng kapatid. "Inaantay ka na ni mama."
Nagaalinlangang tumapak ang mga paa ko papasok sa kuwarto, ang mga mata nakatuon sa sahig. "Come here, anak."
"I'm sorry, hindi ko sinasadya." Unti-unting umakyat pataas ang mga mata ko. "Are you okay now? Wala na bang sumasakit sa'yo? Did they cut you off with dad's connection, like me?" Sunud-sunod kong tanong rito.
"Alam ko namang 'di mo sinasadya. Halika nga dito." Tinapik niya ang p'westo sa tabi niya; lumapit ako rito at naupo sa kama. Kinuha niya ang mga kamay ko at pinagmasdan ang mga ito, "I'm still connected with your dad so don't worry too much, okay? Ang laki-laki mo na anak, kai--"
"Ma, focus here, are you really okay? 'Yung totoo please? Ilang araw ka ng nakahiwalay kay daddy," putol ko rito.
"Anak, I can bear the pain. My connection with your father is different from yours. I can live without my mate, nagkagano'n lang ako kanina dahil hindi mo nakontrol ang galit mo, and that only shows how strong you are! You are growing like the woman I'm expecting you to be." Nakangiti ito sa akin, kumikinang ang mga mata niya na parang siya na ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo, na wala nang hihigit pa sa kaniya. Na ang mga nangyari kanina ay isang magandang bagay.
Author's Note: I know I haven't been writing much but I promise next year would be a new year an new me. I would have more time na. I swear. Ahahah. By the way if you like this chapter here's the link to the previous one: https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part-17-ang-mga-tao-sa-likod-ng-mga-balat-kayo-203ff27b
Enjoy reading po!
Anomaly (Part 17: Ang Mga Tao Sa Likod Ng Mga Balat Kayo)
**"**Magpapanggap ka na si Franco."
"Ano!?" Sabay naming bulyaw ni Marco sa mukha ng prinsipal. 'Ni hindi man lang natinag ang seryosong tingin nito sa amin.
"Seryoso ka talaga sa sinasabi mo? Bakit niya naman kailangang gawin ang bagay na 'yun?" Ang sabi ko. Tama na ang kalokohan sa buhay ko, hindi pa ba sapat na wala kaming alam sa kalagayan ni Franco at kailangan pa nilang gumawa ng palabas sa harap ng mga tao. Hindi pa ba sapat na nangpapanggap ako. Pati ba si Marco kailangan nilang idamay. Mahalaga lang sa kanila ay 'yung kapakanan nila, kaya pati kaligayahan ng iba ipinangsasangkalan nila. Tumayo ako at nag-akmang hilain ang kamay ni Marco.
"No one is leaving." Nawala sa kontrol ko ang aking katawan at kahit gusto ko pang magpumiglas ay wala akong nagawa, may kung ano na p'wersahang nagpaupo sa akin. "No one is leaving, hangga't hindi ninyo naiintindihan ang sitwasyong kinahaharap natin." Kumumpas ito sa hangin nang bumukas ang bibig ko para sumabat. "Patapusin niyo muna ako." Nakita ko sa gilid ng mga mata ko ang pagtango ni Marco.
"Ease up on her." Hinawakan ni Marco ang braso ko at bumalik sa akin ang kilos ko at nagawa ko na muling ibukas ang bibig. "Makikinig kami, 'di ba Ya-Celestine?" Ngumiti ako rito matapos ay pinaling ko ang tingin pabalik sa prinsipal.
"Just...just, give the right justification for this."
"You know you cannot use that name in this school." Walang pumansin sa komento niya at nagpatuloy ito. "Alam niyo naman sigurong gawa ito ng mga rebelde. It would cause panic if everyone would find out na nawawala ang mga pinuno, lalo na ang iyong ama, Celestine. Intindihin niyo namang kalagayan ng buong bansa ang inaalala namin dito. And, Marco pretending to be your brother would be a very good help. It would allow us to make some time for preparation to find the rebels. At isa pa, iyon lang ang tanging paraan para mapagtakpan ang biglaang pagiging malapit ninyong dalawa sa isa't isa."
"It was not my fault," sarkastiko kong sabi habang pinagmamasdan ang mga palad ko. "Papayag ako sa lahat ng gusto mo but answer one of my question first."
"Deal."
"You know something about what is happening to me, tell me now. And I know na hindi mo ipinaalam sa konseho ang tungkol dito."
"Well..." pagsisimula niya, nahihirapang ituloy ang sasabihin. "Your mom would be coming this night, I'll tell you then. Mas maganda ng sa kaniya magmula ang lahat."
"My mom?" Hindi na ako nagtatakang alam ng ina ko ang tungol dito. Sa tagal nang pag-uusisa ko sa katotohanan lalo lang ako lumalayo at ang mga taong malalapit pa sa akin ang may alam. Hindi ko na alam kung magagawa ko pang magtiwala sa susunod.
"Yes, she's worried about you Celestine." Umangat ang mga mata ko sa mukha ng prinsipal at marahan akong umiling.
"No, she is not, kung nag-aalala s'ya sa'kin. She would not have cut me off for two weeks."
*There must be a ton good reason.*
Tumingin ako kay Marco, "Fuck right."
"Andito na sila," singit ni Anna na pumasok sa opisina na walang kakatok-katok.
"Buti naman, papasukin mo sila."
Anim na lalaki ang pumasok sa loob ng opisina. "Who are they?" Tanong ni Marco na nakapako ang tingin sa mga ito. "Bakit sila andito?"
"Highly trained shifters, ang mga taong-putik," mahina kong sambit. "Madalas silang ginagamit kapag may gustong pagtakpan ang gobyerno. Lalo na pagmay nawawalang tao." Matalim akong tumingin sa prinsipal. "You are telling us the truth, right? Nawawala lang ang daddy ko at si Franco, 'di ba?"
"Ginagawa namin ang lahat para hanapin sila." Nanginginig ang mga tingin ng prinsipal, halatang may hindi ito sinasabi. Ayaw ko na umasa sa wala, siguro maganda na maaga pa lang ay inihahanda ko na ang sarili sa mga posibleng mangyari.
"So...magpapanggap sila na ako? Ang mga guardians ni Marco at ang ate ko?"
"Yes."
Sabay kaming napalingon ni Marco sa anim na lalaking tahimik na nakatayo sa likuran namin. Ang mga pigura nila, unti-unting nahulmang parang putik sa mga taong gagayahin. Walang kang makikitang bahid nang pagkakaiba mula ginagaya nila, halatang nasanay sila nang mabuti.
Kumurap ako, isang ala-ala ang pumasok sa isip ko. Si mang Jener, katulad nila siya. Kinuha siya ng pamilya ko dahil sa kakayahan niya, dahil sa kailangang laging may nagbabantay sa akin at dapat magtago. Halos buong buhay ko kadikit ko ito, halos buong buhay ko rin, akong naging isang hangin.
Umiling ako, marahang inaalis ang mga ala-ala nang nakaraan. "Can we go now?"
Tumango naman ang prinsipal. Lumabas kami at nagtungo sa aming klase.
"Princess, ako na ang bibili ng pagkain mo mamaya,katulad pa rin ba nang dati?" Sabi ng gumagaya kay Arjo.
Bumaling ako dito bago pumasok sa loob ng *classroom,* "Don't you dare, you are not them, kahit ano pa ang gawin ninyo, so don't act infront of us. Just don't. At ikaw 'wag kang bubuntot sa'min." Tumuro ako sa pekeng Marco. Iniwan ko ang apat na *guardians* na nakabukas ang mga bibig.
"Teka!" Habol sa akin ni Marco. "Pagpasensyahan ninyo na." Narinig ko pang dagdag nito. "Ce-Yanna, come on, it's not that bad." Nagkibit balikat ako at umupo.
"Hey, Yanna!"
"O, Sam. Kamusta?" Nagpeke ako ng ngiti rito. Pilit kong kinakalma ang sarili.
"Ayos lang, ikaw? Kamusta ka, para kang namumutla."
"Ako? Ayos lang rin, normal naman 'yun sa mga bampira 'di ba?"
"Tama!" Tumawa ito at inayos ang salaming suot.
*Mapapsa'kin ka rin.*
"Ha? May sinabi ka ba?" Gulat kong tanong dahil sa narinig.
"Alin, ang tama?"
"Hindi, maliban do'n?"
Umiling lang ito sa akin, "Talagang ayos ka lang?" Tumango ako at pinagsa-walang bahala ang boses na narinig. Pangalawang beses na iyon. Sino kaya siya.
"May problema ba, Yan?" Umiling ako kay Marco at pinaling ang tiningin sa gurong nasa harapan, sa pekeng Miss Hanni.
"Class, tell me something about the rebels, the rogue class. Bakit hindi sila tanggap sa ating lipunan..." Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa ang mga sinasabi ng aming pekeng guro hanggang sa hindi ko na lang namalayang natapos na lamang ito.
"Nagugutom ka ba? Hindi ka kumain kanina," tanong ni Marco, ang mga kamay niya nakahawak sa balikat ko.
"Ayos lang ako, seryoso, Marco." Kinuha ko ang mga kamay niya at marahang pinisil. "Fine, I'm not okay with anything that is happening to me right now. Heck, I dunno if I'll be fine pero soon...soon I will be. Hindi naman ako p'wedeng maging ganito na lang habang buhay, 'di ba? Lahat naman ng bagay natatapos." Ngumiti ako at hinaplos ang kaniyang pisngi. "Don't worry too much, pumapangit ka." Tumakbo ako at inunahan ko ito sa paglabas. Hinabol naman niya ako at nang mahuli ay binuhat ako nito nang patalikod.
"Pangit pala, a!" Iniharap niya ako sa kanya, "Alam mo naman 'di ba na gagawin ko ang lahat para sa iyo? Maging masaya ka lang." Umapaw palabas dito ang kagustuhang protektahan ako.
Tumango ako sa kaniya, tinapik ang ilong nito, "Alam ko. Nararamdaman ko."
"Hey, you two, get a room," singit nang pamilyar na boses.
"Hi, Di, sabay ka na sa'min?"
"Hindi mo 'ata kasama sina Maureen?" Nag-iba ang timpla ng mukha nito, "I'm just joking, don't be so serious about it."
"Ayos lang ba s'ya, she's acting weird," mahinang bulong ni Dianna kay Marco.
"Naririnig ko kayo," sabi ko naman na tumalikod sa direksyon nila. "Everything about the three of us are weird. So, masanay na kayo." Tumingin ako sa direksyon na pupuntahan namin. "I hate horticulture, ano ba'ng maitutulong nang pagkakaroon ko nang kaalaman sa mga halaman?"
"Madami, like--"
"Says the witch, who uses it for potions? Malamang sa'yo maraming naitutulong iyon. Hay."
"Um, ano nga ba? Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit tayo may horticulture," saad ni Marco.
"See! I told you!" Masaya kaming naglakad papunta sa *classroom* naming mukhang hardin, sa susunod naming klase. Panandalian akong nakalimot sa kaguluhan ng paligid.
*Umph.*
Napatigil ako. "So, pati ikaw rin Dianna? Nabilog ka na rin ng babaeng 'to!?" Tumuro ang hintuturo sa akin ni Maureen.
"Don't make a seen, Maureen. Its my life, my decision."
"Hali na nga kayo," sabi ko sabay hila sa mga kasama ko.
"Teka at aba, bastos ka kinakausap pa kita! Huwag mo akong tinatalikuran!" Hinablot nito ang kamay ko pero naunahan ko siya dito.
"Hindi ako kagaya mo, Maureen, hindi ako uhaw sa atensyon. Bakit kita kailangang pakinggan? I won't be stooping down on your level, masyadong nakakababa," sabi ko dito sabay marahas na bitaw sa braso niya.
Tuluyan kong hinila sina Dianna at Marco papunta sa klase namin. Habang si Maureen naiwang nakatayo sa pwesto niya na parang bato. Hindi habang buhay ay naguumapaw ang pasensya ko, madalas nauubos ito lalo na sa mga kagaya niya.
"May iba't ibang uri ng enerhiya ang mga tao dahil dito iba't iba rin ang epekto nito sa mga halaman. Halimbawa na lang dito." Itinuro ng guro ang patay na halaman sa harapan. Inilagay niya ang mga kamay sa ibabaw nito at pumikit; ilang segundo pa, ang kaninang tuyot na halaman ay naging buhay na buhay at hitik sa bulaklak na gumamela. Bumukas ang mga mata ng guro namin at ngingiti-ngiting lumibot ng paningin sa mga estudyante niya, "Kaming mga engkantanda ng halaman karaniwang nakububuhay, o nakapagpatubo ng halaman. Depende sa kung anong klase ng enerhiya mo ang magiging epekto." Tumigil at marahang pumalakpak ang guro. "Tumingin kayo sa harapan ninyo, ang pasong iyan ay may lamang isang binhi. Kakaiba ito, siyang magsasabi sa inyong uri. Halina't pumikit kayo at gayahin ang ginawa ko kanina. Ilagay ang kamay sa ibabaw ng paso." Pumikit kaming lahat habang ginagawa ang mga sinasabi ng aming guro. "Isipin ninyong dumadaloy mula sa kaloob-looban ninyo ang inyong mga enerhiya, dumadaloy patungo sa dulo ng inyong mga daliri papunta sa paso at sa binhi." May mainit na pakiramdam ang unti-unting kumawala sa mga daliri ko, lumabas sa isip ko ang imahe ng ulan na bumabasa sa mga halaman at pumapawi nang uhaw ng mga ito, ang sinag ng araw na siyang nagbibigay lakas at sustansya at ang hangin na tumutulong sa pagbuo ng kanilang pagkain. Bawat elementong kinakailangan ng mga halaman para mabuhay.
"Excuse me, Ginang Kaparangan?" Bumukas ang mga mata ako at napalingon ako sa may pintuan sa mukha ni Anna. Lumapit ito sa aming guro at may ibinulong, "Pinatatawag ng prinsipal sina Carlos, Monteverde at Longwood," dinig kong sinabi nito. Tumango ang aming guro at lumapat ang tingin nito sa akin. Malakas itong napasinghap.
"Wow!" Komento ni Dianna sa tabi ko. Tumingin ako rito at nakita ang pinagmamasdan nito, ang paso sa harapan ko. Isang halamang walang katulad ang ngayon ay noroon, isang halamang pinagsama-sama. Iba't ibang bulaklak at bunga mula sa iba't ibang halaman ang namumutiktik dito. "Wow," ulit ni Dianna na manghang-mangha sa nakikita.
"Carlos, Monteverde at Longwood, pinatatawag kayo ng prinsipal," putol ng guro sa titig ko sa halaman. Pati ang mga kaklase ko hindi rin maialis ang tingin sa halaman. Kahit sila, namamangha rito. "Ahem...Carlos, Monteverde at Longwood, pinatatawag kayo ng prinsipal," pag-ulit ng guro, pilit kinukuha ang atensyon namin. Tumayo kaming tatlo at nagtungo sa may pintuan.
"What you did back there?" Bulong sa akin ni Marco. Umiling lang ako rito. Kahit ako hindi ko alam ang ginawa ko. Isa na namang kababalaghan.
"Come on, hurry up," pagmamadali sa amin ni Anna. Tumingin ako sa direksyon nito at sa babaeng kasama.
Ang mga mata nito nakapako sa ibang bagay, sa loob ng kuwartong pinanggalingan namin. Sinundan ko ang tingin niya at nakita kong muli ang halamang nalikha ng enerhiya ko. Bumalik ang tingin ko sa babae at kinuha ko ang kamay nito, "Mama?"
Author's Note: feeling ko babagasak na Miata ko sa pagod but I need to write pa rin. Huhu.. enjoy reading please. you and if you like this story here's the link to the previous chapter: https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part-16-pangungulila-sa-nakalimutang-pag-ibig-313a7099
Anomaly (Part 16: Pangungulila sa Nakalimutang Pag-ibig)
**M**ainit.Malamig.Mainit.Malamig. Magkahalong init at lamig ang pumapalibot sa katawan ko, papalit-palit. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman, para akong yelong tinutunaw sa ilalim nang nakakapasong araw. Tumingin ako sa kaliwa't kanan, paikot sa puting silid na kinatatayuan, papunta sa dalawang pulang pising nakausli mula sa dibdib ko. Hindi maabot ng mga mata ko ang dulo nito, ngunit sa 'di kalayuan, may isang kamay na bigla na lamang sumulpot at buong lakas na hinila ang isa sa mga pisi. "Ahh!" Malakas akong sumigaw, gusto kong abutin ang pisi at pigilan ang kamay, pero hindi ko magawang kumilos, naging parang isang mabigat na bato ang katawan ko. Sumigaw ako nang sumigaw hanggang sa mawalan ako ng boses, hanggang sa huli na ang lahat at naputol na nang tuluyan ang pisi.
"Yanna, Yanna...wake up!" Ang malakas na pagyuyog ni Marco ang nagpagising sa akin at pumutol sa sakit na dala ng panaginip.
"Mar-Marco, okay na ako," nangangatal kong sabi. Tumango-tango ito at pinakawalan ako.
"Anong nangyari?" Sa kung ano mang dahilan, bumuhos ang mga luha ko. "You are fine now, don't worry I'm here." Pinunasan niya ang mga mata ko ngunit pinigilan ko lamang siya, tinulak ko si Marco at tumakbo ako palabas ng k'warto hanggang sa bahay papunta sa kalsada. There's something wrong with me, seriously wrong. The ache, the loss, the longing for someone; emotions that I know I should be feeling. But no, there's only this hollow space inside me, an empty void. "Yanna! Yanna...!" Paulit-ulit ang pagsigaw ni Marco pero nagbingi-bingihan ako. Tumakbo ako hanggang sa hindi na makaya ng tuhod ko at napasalampak na lamang ako sa damuhan.
"Sa'n ka pupunta?" Tanong ng kamay na humawak sa balikat ko. Marahan kong itinaas ang ulo ko para tingnan ito, "Anong nangyayari sa'kin? I feel devoid."
"Dala lang 'yan ng orasyon na ginawa ni Magda, mawawala rin iyan matapos ang ilang oras," paliwanag pa ni Kuya Lyndon, ngunit hindi lumuwag ang pakiramdam ko. May bagay akong dapat maramdaman; isang napakahalgang emosyon, hindi ko siya dapat gano'n kabilis makalimutan. Ano ba ang nangyayari sa akin? Hindi dapat ako pumayag sa ginawa ng mangkukulam."Bumalik na tayo sa bahay, nanghihina ka pa. Nag-aalala sa'yo si Marco at Dianna."
Tumango na lamang ako sa kuya ko. Wala na akong lakas para manlaban pa. Tahimik akong sumunod sa direksyong tinatahak nito. Hindi ko namalayang malayo rin pala ang narating ko. Halos labing limang minuto kaming naglakad bago makarating muli sa bahay.
"Shit! Don't ever do that again! Okay!?" Bumuhos ang pag-aalala sa sistema ni Marco at hindi ko maiwasang hindi makonsensya sa ginawa ko. Hindi ko siya dapat sinasaktan.
"I'm sorry, hi-hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko." Niyakap ko nang mahigpit si Marco. Natatakot akong mawala siya sa akin, na pati siya iwanan ako. At wala nang matira pang kahit isa sa kanila.
Pagkapasok sa bahay ay agad tumambad sa akin ang mukha ng isa pa sa mga *guradian* ko, si Dianna; ang mga mata nito nangungusap, nagtatanong. Tahimik akong umupo sa sofa sa harapan nito.
"Lalabas muna ako, may kailangan ba kayo?" Nag-aantay ng sagot si Kuya Lyndon, pero hindi ko magawang hanapin ang boses ko, gayon din ang dalawa ko pang kasama. Kaya naman umiling na lamang ako rito. "Okay, iwanan ko muna kayo para makapag-usap. Dadating si mama bukas ng umaga, nag-aalala siya sayo, Celestine." Huminto ito at kinuha ang mga kamay ko at marahang pinisil. Ngumiti ako sa kan'ya, para akong isang batong nilayasan ng kahit anong emosyon. "Kayo na lang muna ang bahala sa kaniya." Tuluyan kaming iniwan ni kuya Lyndon.
Sampung minuto na ang nakalipas pero walang gustong bumasag sa katahimikang nakapalibot sa amin. Nagbuntong-hininga ako at naglakas ng loob, "Anyone wants to say something?" Pag-uumpisa ko.
"We don't know na may anak na babae pala ang presidente, ang pagkakaalam ko tatlong lalaki lang," sambit ni Dianna.
Tama siya, iyon talaga ang alam nang lahat. Ako ang pinaka-malaking sikretong tinatago ng pamilya ko. Tumaas ang balikat ko, "That's what they want people to know, hindi ko naman sila masisisi. I mean, no one would mistake me for a wolf, right?" Tumingin ako sa mga mata nila; tumawa ako saglit. "It's maybe the guardian bond, I'll know if you two are lying to me. So, don't try."
"Wala naman kaming balak," pagmamaang ni Marco. I know pity when I see one, I don't have to have a bond with them to know that they are pitying me. Halatang-halata rin naman kasi.
"Pero bakit ka nila tinago? Nalaman ba nila kaagad na may mali sa'yo?" Pagtatanong ni Dianna.
"The earliest memory I got was at my third birthday, the day I burned under the sun for the first time. Funny enough I still got the scar to remind me of that incident. I almost died back then." Tumayo ako at nagtungo sa kusina para kumuha ng dugo. "Anyone wants a drink?" Sigaw ko. Walang sumagot pero kumuha na ako ng ekstrang dugo at dyus para kay Dianna.
"Yanna."
Inilapag ko ang mga inumin sa lamesa sa gitna ng mga upuan matapos ay umupo ako at bumaling kay Marco, "Marco, you've heard my kuya, Celestine ang totoo kong pangalan. Kung tayo-tayo lang rin, tawagin mo akong Celestine."
"Okay, Celestine... Alam ba 'to ni Franco? Sinabi mo ba 'to sa kakambal ko?" Hindi ko magawang tumingin sa mukha ni Marco habang dahan-dahan akong umiiling. Gusto kong humagulgol, magwala o kahit humandusay sa sahig para ipakita ang pangungulila ko kay Franco ngunit para akong ilog na natuyuan, na kahit luha ay wala gustong tumulo. Lahat ng emosyong dapat kong maramdaman sa pagkawala niya ay ipinagkait sa akin. Para bang ayaw kilalanin ng sistema ko, nang mismong puso ko ang pagkatao ni Franco, gayong panay ang pilit na pagbulyaw ng utak ko sa akin na mali ang lahat.
"Hi-hindi ko nagawa. First hand experience of regret, I guess. He is my mate, I should have trusted him pero nanaig 'yung takot ko." Katahimikan ang isinagot sa akin ni Marco. Alam kong pagsisisihan ko ang lahat nang magdedisyon akong itago ang totoo sa kay Franco. Pero hindi ko na maibabalik ang nakaraan kahit ano pa ang pilit ko.
"How about your father? Sinong papalit sa kan'ya?" Liko ni Dianna sa usapan.
"Hindi ko rin alam Di, siguro si kuya Andrew, my eldest brother, his beta. Tiyak din namang itatago ito sa media kaya baka sa konseho rin mapunta ang kapangyarihan." Tumungga ako sa boteng hawak at inubos ang laman nito sa isang lagukan. Napapikit ako at baling ng ulo sa kaliwa; bigla na lang itong sumakit.
Uminit ang paligid at nang muli akong mamulat, napasinghap ako nang malakas. Anong nangyayari sa akin? Nasaan ako? Paano ako napunta rito? Fuck shit, the weirdness is just adding up way too much.
Nasa k'warto dapat ako, sa isla sa loob ng eskuwelahan. Tama! *Nagha-hallucinate ka lang Tin-tin, nothing is wrong with you. Nothing!* Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa utak ko. Kaya lang wala itong pinatutunguhan, masyado makatotohanan ang lahat. Pero paano ba kasi ako napunta sa Luneta? At, bakit nasusunog ang lahat, pati ang rebulto ni Jose Asuncion-- unang presidente ng bagong republika-- ay naging abo na. Maraming taong nagtatakbuhan sa iba't ibang direksyon. Lahat sila nagkakagulo, hindi alam kung saan pupunta. Ang kabog sa dibdib ko pilit akong sinasabihang kailangan kong tumakbo kasabay nang lahat ng mga tao. Ang problema, nakadikit yata ang mga paa ko sa kalsada at hindi ko sila magawang ihakbang. *Tumakbo ka na!* Panay ang sigaw ng utak ko. Isa lang ang ipinahihiwatig ng lahat, ayaw ko mang isipin pero kung hindi ako kikilos tiyak na ang aking katapusan. *I'm going to die, really, really soon.*
"Tulungan mo ako!" Sigaw ng isang babaeng humablot sa kamay ko. "Pakiusap, tulungan niyo po ako!" Pangungulit muli nito.
"Hindi...hindi ko po alam! Ti-tigilan niyo po ako! Please! Please!"
"Tulungan mo ako! Ikaw lang ang p'wede, ikaw lang!" Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan ang nangyayari, ano ba ang gusto niya, bakit ba ako? "Ikaw lang ang may kayang pumigil ng lahat! Ikaw!"
"No! Get off me! Get off!" Nagsisigaw ako; ang babaeng kaninang nakakapit sa kamay ko ay biglang naging isang kumpol ng gagamba. "Get off me! Get off!" Pinaghahampas ko sila, pinipigilan ang pag-akyat nila sa mukha ko. Natatakot na ako. *Please ayaq ko na! Please, tama na!*
"Yan..Celestine, are you okay?" Nauliratan ako sa boses ni Dianna. "Are you okay? Bigla kang namutla?" Ulit ni Dianna sa tanong. Nawala ang lahat nang kanina lang ay nakapalibot sa akin. Halata ring walang alam ang dalawa sa mundong nasilayan ko, segundo lang ang nakaraan.
Pinantay ko ang aking paghinga bago sila sagutin, "I'm fine, may naalala lang ako, magpapahinga lang siguro muna ako." Tinago ko ang pangangatal sa boses. Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan, at naglakad papunta sa k'warto. Ramdam ko pa rin sa braso ko ang kapit ng babae pati ang maliliit na buhok ng mga gagamba. Ano ang ibig sabihin ng mga nakita ko? I don't want any other drama in my life, I just couldn't bear it. I might lose it, everything, my mind; my very own sanity.
"Teka, Celestine, ayos ka lang ba talaga? You don't look so good," pigil sa akin ni Marco. Ang isa kamay niya naka-kapit sa mismong lugar kung saan humawak sa akin ang babae. Tumingin ako sa mukha ni Marco at inialis isa-isa ang mga daliri niya hanggang mawala ito sa pagkakapit. Tuluyan akong pumasok sa loob ng k'warto. Sinundan naman ako ni Marco, rinig ko ang mga yapak niya kahit hindi ko pa ito lingunin. "Talk to me, please?"
Tumingin ako sa kaniya, umiling ako at marahang lumapit dito. Itinulak ko siya hanggang sa sumandal na sa pader. Itinaas ko ang kanang kamay ko at sinundan ang bawat kurba ng kaniyang mukha.Tumigil ako sa gilid ng kaniyang labi habang mariing nakatitig sa kaniyang mga mata; ang asul na mga mata. Isang patak ng luha ang tumulo sa gilid ng mata ko. Inilapit ko sa kaniya ang mukha ko at kinuha ang kaniyang labi. Hinalikan ko siya at pilit inaalala ang dapat kong maramdaman. Gumanti siya ng halik, ngunit matapos ang ilang segundo ay bahagya niya akong tinulak palayo, hinayaan ko siya at nagkahiwalay kami.
"Why?" Tanong ko.
"Because this is wrong! I'm not Franco! I am not HIM! I cannot be him, Celestine."
Umiling ako at kinuha ang kamay niya, "Yeah, I know. Hindi ikaw si Franco, you cannot be him. Kahit pa sobrang magkamukha nga kayo, hindi ka maaaring maging siya and that's fucking me up! Bakit!?" Itinaas ko ang hawak kong kamay. "Kasi, 'yung lahat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon, 'yung kuryenteng dumadaloy sa kamay ko dahil hawak-hawak kita, 'yung mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko? Hindi ko dapat nararamdaman para sa'yo 'yun. Marco, it's scaring me kasi hindi ko magawang maging malungkot sa pagkawala ng kapatid mo. 'Yung puso ko nagtatalon sa saya kasi malapit ka sa'kin, and I'm craving for you, your touch, your EVERYTHING! Now you are asking how am I? I'm slowly going insane Marco and I am scared." Binitawan ko siya.
"I'm sorry...hindi ko alam, kung ako lang ang masusunod--"
"Bakit ka pumayag? Bakit ka pumayag na palitan siya? Bakit mo nagawang burahin siya sa puso ko!? I wanted to hate you so badly but I can't and it frustrates me!" Ikinulong ako ni Marco sa mga bisig niya, unti-unting napapawi ang sakit sa puso ko pero hindi ang kaguluhan sa utak ko.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," paulit-ulit na bulong ni Marco sa tainga ko.
"Pa'no kung wala na talaga siya? Pa'no Marco? What if he is dead, what would I do?"
"Don't worry, everything is temporary. Magiging ayos din ang lahat."
Sana nga, sana talaga. I want Franco back, I know I do, even if my heart tells me otherwise, I know I want him back and everything I'm feeling are all lies. Lies.
Author's Notes: Good day! Maganda ba mga araw nyo? I have been posting here but not reading. I promise to put that in my new years resolution to read more. I'll make time talaga to read. Sobrang busy ko lang talaga ngayon. Huhu
By the way if you like this chapter here's the link to the previous one: https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part-15-naputol-na-koneksyon-at-isang-pagpapaalam-81963df0
Anomaly (Part 15: Naputol na Koneksyon at Isang Pagpapaalam)
Yanna, Yanna, Yanna." Bumukas ang mga mata ko sa tawag ng isang mahinang boses. Lumingon ako sa paligid ngunit wala naman akong makita. Tumayo ako ng kama, nasa bahay na ako. Sino kaya ang nagdala sa akin pauwi, baka si Marco. "Yanna. Yanna. Yanna." Patuloy pa rin ito. Pamilyar ang boses, may hapdi itong dala at ang mga luha ko ay kusang dumaloy sa aking mukha.
"Bakit ka umiiyak? Huwag ka ng umiyak, sige ka, papangit ka niyan." Tumingin ako sa kamay na bigla nalang sumulpot at marahang pinupunasan ang mga luha ko. "Hindi ka dapat malungkot. Malulungkot din ako, alam mo namang ang gusto ko lang ay makita kang masaya." Sinundan ko ang kamay hanggang sa makita ko ang nagmamay-ari nito. Lalong lumakas ang pagdaloy ng luha ko.
"Franco, I...I miss you!" Mahigpit ko itong niyakap. I smell his familiar scent, like the dew at early morning. "Ayos ka lang ba? Bakit ang tagal mong nakauwi? What happened?" Tinadtad ko ito ng mga tanong, pero, imbis na sagutin niya ang mga ito, umiling lang siya.
"Shh...Don't ask too many questions. I miss you too baby. I hope--" Hindi niya itinuloy ang sinasabi. Nilapit niya mukha sa akin at nagtagpo ang aming mga labi. Lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko ay biglang napawi. Nandito na siya sa wakas, magiging ayos na ang lahat. Nakaramdam ako ng init at para akong kinukuryente sa kiliti.
Naghiwalay kami para humabol ng hininga, "I love you. Even without the bond, I think I would love you. I am so happy to be your mate," sabi ko rito, habang sinasapo ang bawat kurba ng kaniyang mukha. I don't know what to do if I lose him.
"I love you too. I love you so much that I die seeing you sad. Always smile, okay? Remember that no matter what happens...I am always right here." Tumuro ito sa kaliwang dibdib ko sa may puso. Marahan ako tumango, at ngumiti. "I love you so much Yanna. Always be brave and don't let others dictate your actions. I will always be watching you..." Nag-iba ang itsura ng mukha nito, isang malungkot na ngiti ang pumalit sa kaninang masaya nitong ekspresyon.
"What do you mean Franco? Ano ba tinatakot mo'ko." Bumitaw ang mga kamay ko sa mukha niya at humakbang ito patalikod. Ang kaniyang katawan ay unti-unting naglalaho, para siyang natutunaw sa hangin. "Franco what is happening? Franco!"
"Remember Yanna, remember that I love you. Be strong. Be safe." Tuluyang naglaho ang katawan niya, ang kubuan nito.
"Franco! FRANCO! FRANCO!"
"Yanna, Yanna, Yanna! Gising! Panaginip lang iyan! Wake up now." Isang mahinang pagyugyog sa katawan ko ang nagpagising sa akin. Balot ako ng pawis mula ulo hanggang paa, basang-basa ang damit ko na kumapit ito sa akin na parang pangalawang balat. Hapo ako na pagod. Panaginip lang pala ang lahat. Bakit ko mapapanaginipan si Franco, may nangyari ba sa kaniya?
Tumingin ako sa mukha ng lalaking may hawak-hawak sa katawan ko. "Franco?"
"I am sorry Yanna...si Marco 'to." At hindi ko na napigilan ang malakas na pag-iyak. Humagulgol ako sa balikat ni Marco. May mali, may mali! Si Franco, hindi puwede!
"Anong nangyari!?" Sabay-sabay na sigaw ng tatlong pares na yabag na pumasok sa loob ng kuwarto. Buong lakas kong iniangat ang ulo ko sa direksyon nila. "Tell me. Is he dead? please? Tell me." Pagmamakaawa ko.
Yumuko ang Prinsipal, isang luha naman ang pumatak sa mata ni Dianna. "Hi-hindi pa namin lubos na alam ang mga nangyari. Ang mga rebelde. Natagpuang patay ang lahat ng mga *guardians* pati ang mga media na kasama nila, kasama ang pinuno ng mga lobo at engkanto. Pero, wala si Franco at ang dalawa pang pinuno kasama ang Presidente, si Dad."
Walang humpay ang pagdaloy ng luha sa mga mata ko ang sakit sa dibdib ko'y lalong lumala. Hindi puwedeng patay na siya, hindi maaari. "Ahh!" Malakas kong sigaw, parang sinisilaban sa sobrang sakit ang buong katawan ko. "Ahh!" Patuloy kong pagsigaw. Halo-halong emosyon ang nasasagap ko. Lungkot. Pighati. Poot. Galit. Pagkaiingit. Hindi ko na masabi ang pinagkaiba-iba nila.
"Yanna, what is wrong!?" Nagaalalang tanong ni Marco.
"It fucking hurts...my body feels like being shred. AHH! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!"
"Simon! Do something! Do anything!" Galit na pagsusumamo ni Marco sa prinsipal.
"We have to take her to Elder Matias," mahinang suwestiyon ng prinsipal.
"Tama. Tama...pero paano tayo makakarating agad doon?" Tanong ni Kuya Lyndon.
"Don't! Huwag mo kong hawakan!" Sigaw ko kay Marco nang mag-akma itong buhatin ako mula sa kama. "My skin burns! Everything hurts! Ayoko na please..."
"Gagawa ako ng portal!" Tumingin ang lahat sa nagsalita, kay Dianna. "Pero kailangan ko ng kahit anong gamit ng taong pupuntahan natin, meron ba kayong kahit anong galing sa tindahan niya ng libro?"
Elder Matias? Tinutukoy ba nila 'yung mabait na matanda noong naligaw ako. Kung siya nga..."I got something! D'yan sa gilid, sa may hunos ng *corner table*! May libro d'yan..." Agad tumakbo si Marco para kuhanin ang libro. Ibinigay niya ito kay Dianna na siya namang nagsimulang gumawa ng enkantasyon. Pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko sa pagsigaw, hindi magandang mataranta sila. Kaya lang hindi ko alam kung gaano ako tatagal.
Bumulong so Dianna sa hangin, *"Aperi nobis et domini tourum. Porta at domium tuum!"* Mga salitang hindi ko maintindihan pero alam kong may dalang kapangyarihan. Nagsimulang humuni ang hangin na parang may tumatakbong kuryente rito. "Hali na kayo!" Sumigaw si Dianna.
"Ka-kaya ko na." Dahan-dahan akong tumayo, nag-iingat na hindi masyadong masagi ang katawan sa kahit na ano. Pati ang sarili kong damit ay parang mga patalim na humihiwa sa balat ko.
"Celestine, kaya mo ba talaga?" Ngumiti ako sa direksyon ng kuya ko, hindi na niya alintana ang kakaibang tinginan nila Dianna at Marco. Alam kong kanina pa sila nangangati na tanungin ako, sa koneksyon ko sa mga Carmichael.
"Tandang Matias!" Sigaw ng kuya Lyndon sa hangin.
"Anong mali at naparito ka--" Hindi nito naituloy ng matanda ang sinasabi nang makita ako. Hindi na kinaya ng katawan ko ang sakit na nararamdaman at humandusay ako sa sahig sa mismong nilabasan ko mula sa lagusan. "Anong mali sa kan'ya!?" Patanong na sigaw ng matanda sa lahat.
"Her mate is missing, si Franco Monteverde," sagot ng prinsipal.
"Ang batang pinuno ng mga bampira?"
"Yes."
Lumuhod sa tabi ko ang matanda, sinasapo niya ang noo ko, pinapakiramdaman ito. "Don't...every touch hurts! Please, make it stop."
"Paanong nangyari ito...? Isa ba siyang--"
"Yes," putol ng prinsipal sa matanda. "But, their bond is the strongest I have seen. Magda's necklaces didn't even work on her, I need her location, Elder. Hindi siya p'wedeng mawala. Kailangan mo siyang iligtas." Nagpalitan nang 'di-maintindihang tinginan ang prinsipal at ang matanda.
"Okay...pero, isa lang sa inyo ang sasama...ikaw..." tumuro ang daliri nito sa gawi ni Marco, "ang isasama ko."
Wala ng diskusyunan pang nangyari at kahit pa nagpupumiglas ako, binuhat ako ni Marco sa mga bisig niya. Wala na akong alam sa mga sumunod pang nangyari kung paano kami nakarating sa isang maliit na kubo sa gitna ng kakahuyan. Sumunod si Marco sa matanda sa pagpasok dito, buhat-buhat pa rin ako.
"Matias!? Ano ang ginagawa mo dito? Nagsama ka pa! Hindi ba sinabi k-"
"Magda! Hindi ngayon!" Sigaw ng matandang lalaki sa matandang babae. May katabaan ito at maputi na ang lahat ng buhok na mataas na nakupoyod. Sari-saring abubot, na kabibe at iba-ibang sangkap sa pagluluto ang nakasuot sa leeg.
Isang maamong mukha ang ibinigay nito sa akin nang ibaba ako ni Marco sa isang kawayan na upuan. "Hindi ko siya mabasa, ano ang bata?"
"Anak siya ni Arturo," maikling sagot ni Tandang Matias.
"Alam n'yo hong anak siya ng Presidente!?" Matalim na tingin ang isinagot ng matanda sa tanong ni Marco, kaya naman nanahimik itong muli sa tabi ko.
"Kailangan kong putulin ang uganayan nilang dalawa, ng kaniyang tadhana. Pero, kailangan ko ng ipapalit dito," malumanay na sabi ng matandang babae. Ang mga mata niya punong-puno ng panghihinayang.
"Hindi! Hindi p'wede! Ayoko! Ayokong mawala si Franco...hindi...hindi...hindi." Nagmakaawa ako pero iling lang isinagot ng matandang babae. Inilapit niya mukha sa tainga ko.
"Magiging maayos ka rin paggising mo," bulong nito at nawalan ako ng malay.
"Yanna, mahal ko."
"Franco? Pero..." Pagtataka ko dahil ang akala ko..."panaginip lang ba 'to?"
"Huwag kang umiiyak." Marahan niyang pinunasan ang mga luha ko. He kiss them all away but instead of being happy, I feel sadder. I know it is not real and the moment I open my eyes, he will be gone. "Lagi naman akong nandito." Tumuro siya sa puso ko at ngumiti.
"Ayoko ng gumising, dito nalang ako, sa tabi mo. Mas sasaya ako kung kasama kita, Franco. Please?" Pagmamakaawa ko sa kaniya.
Umiling ito, hinaplos ang mukha at naglabas ng malalim na hiniga. "Iyon din naman ang gusto ko, ang makasama ka habang buhay. But, it is not right. May mga taong nag-aantay sayo, umaasang ililigtas mo sila."
"Ililigtas? Hindi ko kayang gawin 'yon. Mahina lang ako, wala akong kayang iligtas. Nagkakamali ka."
"Sana nga nagkakamali na lang ako, dahil hindi ko gugustuhing masaktan ka. Pero, iyon ang nakatakda, alam kong kakayanin mo. Dahil, alam kong ikaw ang pinakamalakas sa lahat, hindi ka mahina. Give your self some credit. I love you so, so much. Fight for me, will you?" Tumango ako. Hinagkan ako nito sa noo. At, kagaya nang nauna kong panaginip, naglaho ito na parang bula sa hangin. Though his touch still lingers in my skin, like a phantom. I wish I could have him forever for all eternity, but he was right. Kailangan kong lumaban magpakatatag, kailangan kong malaman kung sino ang may gawa ng mga bagay na ito. Hahanap ako ng kasagutan sa mga tanong ko, hindi puwedeng patuloy nalang akong manghuhula sa kung anong susunod na mangyayari. Kailangan kong humakbang pasulong.
Ibinukas ko ang mga mata ko. Tumambad sa akin ang tatlong pares ng mga tingin. Nawala ang sakit, pero...may naiwan itong pilat, isang puwang sa puso ko. A hollow feeling that cannot be filled again.
Author's Notes: thank you for the overwhelming support to my articles. I owe you a lot guys! And if you like this one here's the link to the previous chapter:
https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part14-nagbabadyang-trahedya-a86cf6f2
Anomaly (Part14: Nagbabadyang Trahedya)
"Nagugutom ka na ba?" Lumaki ang mata ko habang linilingon ang lalaking nagsalita sa likod ko. *May himala!*
"So...kinakausap mo na ako? Hindi ka na..." Hinampas ko palayo ang kamay ni Marco. "Don't do that again. Don't shush me with your finger."
"Okay. I'll add that to your don'ts. Let us go to downtown and eat." Itinaas niya niya ang dalawang kamay para buhatin ako.
"Huwag nalang kung, sa ganiyang *way.* Wala ba ditong other way of transportation, I mean there are humans here. Hindi rin naman maliit 'tong eskuwelahan para sa lakaran."
"Hindi mo ba alam ang tungkol sa mga portals? Binasa mo ba ang handbook!?" Hinila ako ni Marco papunta sa hintuan ng bus*,* kakaiba nga dahil wala namang umiikot ditong kahit anong sasakyan.
"That stupid hand book again. Yeah, next time I'll make time."
"Your weird, alam mo 'yun? Have you met Manang Josie? 'Yung bantay ng dormitory ng mga babae? Ang unang pinapagawa no'n ay kabisaduhin ang mission and vision ng eskuwelahan."
"Uhm...'yung lamang lupa? I mean engkanto na nangunguha ng gadgets? Hindi ko pa nga nakukuha 'yung phone ko. Hindi ko tuloy matawagan si Kuya Lyndon."
"Use my phone then."
Umiling ako, "Nah. It's okay. Kung gusto naman nila akong kamustahin, madali nilang magagawa...On the other hand, ano ba'ng inaantay natin dito? Walang dadating na bus, 'di ba...?"
"Wala nga. Pero, may inaantay tayong schedule."
"Ha...?" Nagtataka kong tanong.
"Hay...next time read that book. You see this..." tumuro siya sa gilid namin, sa isang karatula. "Schedule 'yan ng mga portals. Inaantay natin 'yung pang-alasais. Ten minutes na lang. The witches here at school see to it that they don't miss. Hindi naman pwedeng continuously working ang portal kasi madalas nagkakaroon sila ng glitches, iwas din sa cutting classes."
"Ow...I see." Napa-isip ako. "Teka, sino ba ang may-ari nitong skul?"
"You don't know? The Carmichaels."
Biglang may umusbong na bara sa lalamunan ko, bigla akong napaubo. Napahampas sa likod ko si Marco, para tulungan ako. Itinaas ko ang kanang kamay para sabihing ayos na 'ko. Darn it. My family owns the school, that explains the principal's covering up my identity. Pero, hindi na rin siguro nakakagulat na ang ama ko ang namamahala sa edukasyon ng mga susunod na pinuno. He oversees a lot of things.
"Tara na!" Nauliratan ako sa paghila ni Marco. Pumasok kami sa loob ng lagusan at kagaya ng normal, pakiramdam ko hinihila ang mga bituka ko palabas. A wild roller coaster ride.
"Next time. 'Wag mo ko basta-bastang hinihila," inis kong sabi. My headaches from the residual effect of goung through the portal, it freaking feels like I got hangover.
"Do'n! Tayo!" Itinaas ko ang mga kamay ko para pigilan ito sa muling paghila sa akin. "Okay. Another don't."
"Hindi ba magtataka ang mga tao kung makikita tayong kumakain? I mean the vampire thing. I'm craving for some Chinese."
"Food? We eat food. Hindi nga lang sa dahilan ng mga kagaya ninyo. You see, before we turn we spent years eating human food. Pagkatapos naming maging bampira, we miss it. Though, it feels like eating air. It doesn't satisfy our hunger. Chinese is good."
Our lives are all complex. Hindi ko lubos maisip ang dating mundo, kung saan nagtatago ang mga kagaya namin. Ga'no kahirap ang bagay na iyon. Tumango ako kay Marco at tumawid kami sa kalsada papunta sa isang Chinese Restaurant, katabi ng Mc Donalds. Nakakatuwang mayroong ganitong lugar. A little happy world inside the big ugly one.
"Wow! I love the smell! I'm really hungry." Pumuwesto ako sa isang lamesa sa gilid, sa wala masyadong tao.
"So what do you want?" Tanong ni Marco habang pinagmamasdan ko ang menu.
"Okay...I'll take a hot and sour soup, hot pot stickers, pork dumplings at isang bowl chopchae!" Nakangiti akong nakatingin sa kaniya.
"Hindi mo naman sinabing magpapakain tayo ng tatlong pamilya."
"Shut it! Nagugutom ako." Natatawa nitong sinasabi ang order namin sa waiter.
"Dagdan mo na din ng isang black bottle."
Umalis para kunin ang pagkain namin.
"Blood?"
"Yep. Blood and alcohol is a good combination. Wait till you try it." Sabi niya ng nakangisi. Ngumiti rin ako, sana maging swabe na ang lahat.
Makalipas ang ilang minuto, dumating ang pagkain. Wala anu-ano pa at nagsimula akong kumain. Galit-galit muna, matagal ko ring inasam to.
"Uhm...excuse me?" Sabay kaming lumingon sa pamilyar na boses. Si Dianna, 'yung mangkukulam na may gawa ng pagkaka-kulong ko sa bilog ay nakatayo sa gilid ng lamesa, inaantay reaksyon namin ni Marco.
"Dianna! It is nice to meet you," bati ni Marco rito.
"Hi Marco, it is good to see you too. Si Franco?" Bumaling ito ng tingin sa akin.
"His out," sagot ni Marco.
"Sorry to interrupt you guys...but...uhm...can I sit with you? Adrianna..." Hindi ko naman siya masisisi. It's not her fault, I guess, she is just trying to be a survivor in this wild jungle. Mahirap maging kakaiba sa mga kakaiba.
"Nah, go ahead sit with us." Umurong ako para maka-upo siya sa tabi ko.
"You see Adrianna..."
"Yanna would do," putol ko rito.
"Yanna, uhm, what I did was wrong. I know...it is just that...that...Maureen is my childhood friend, including the twins, Marco and Franco." Tumingin muna siya kay Marco at nagpatuloy, "At times, Maureen can be really difficult. She got territorial issues, for her...Franco would always be her possession...you know, and out of a sudden you came. It crashed her."
"But that doesn't mean you have to do her every whims. You have to stand for your self, hindi ka naman niya anino, 'di ba?"
"I know. But she's my friend. It's just I know her more...more than others. She's okay most of the times."
"Really? I highly doubt that." Nagpatuloy ako sa pagkain. Tumigil ako ng maramdaman kong nakatitig pa rin sa akin si Dianna. "What do you want from me?" Baling ko ng tanong dito
"Yanna..." Simula ni Marco pero pinutol ko siya gamit ang kamay ko. "Okay, I'll be quiet."
"Just wanna say sorry," mahinang bulong ni Dianna.
"Nagawa mo na, you can go now." Kinuha ko ang baso ni Marco na may lamang dugo, inubos ko ito sa isang tunggaan.
"Okay." Tumayo ito, inilahad niya ang kamay sa direksyon ko. Pinigilan ko ang pag-ikot ng mata ko pataas. Seryoso, anong dekada ba siya nanggaling? Pero gayon pa rin kinuha ko ito at nakipagkamay.
"Aray!" Sigaw naming dalawa ni Dianna. Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko. Parang may kuryenteng dumaloy sa mga kamay namin. Mainit na parang nakapapaso, kahit pa na magkahiwalay na ang mga kamay namin dama ko pa rin ito. Pakiramdam na pamilyar sa akin, dahil kailan lang nang huli itong mangyari. Kagaya ng inaasahan ko, sumunod ang kirot sa braso ko. Hindi puwedeng mangyari 'to, lalo lang gumugulo ang mundo ko. Hindi ko gustong tingnan pero itinaas ko pa rin ang parte ng katawan kong sumasakit. Katabi ng simbolo ng bampira ay ang unti-unting pag-ukit ng isang bituin. A pentagram, the symbol of witches.
"Anong nanyayari?" Tumingin ako kay Marco, pabalik kay Diana. Ayaw bumukas ng bibig ko, walang boses na gustong kumawala. Bumalik sa pagkaka-upo sa tabi ko si Dianna.
"I'm Dianna Longwood and I promise to do whatever it takes to protect you with my life," bumulong ito sa akin. Patuloy ako sa pananahimik. Isa na namang guardian, napaka suwerte ko, naman! *Fuck!*
"No. No. No, you can't be!" Tumayo ako, hinawi ko si Dianna at tuluyang lumabas ng *restaurant.*
"Get her. I am just going to pay for these things," narinig kong sinabi ni Marco.
Tumakbo ako. Mabilis. Wala akong balak huminto. Kung puwede lang takasan ang lahat ng mga ito, gagawin ko. Kung alam ko lang kung papaano. Bumuhos ang mga luha ko, sobrang naguguluhan na ako. Ayos na sana, natatanggap ko na ang tungkol kay Marco. Tapos, ito na naman? Isang mangkukulam? *Fuck guardians! Fuck 'em!*
"Yanna! Yanna! Saglit lang!" Pilit akong hinahabol ni Dianna.
"Ano ba ang gusto mo!?" Huminto akong hinihingal.
"Talk to me. This thing...it is not my fault, okay?" Umaapaw palabas ang pag-aalala sa sistema niya. I wanted escape, to hide for eternity. Ayaw ko ng komplikasyon, pero 'yon ang nakukuha ko, sa lahat ng kilos ko. This is one hell of a week.
"Why? Bakit? Bakit ako? Can someone make sense of what is happening?"
"Yanna? Are you okay?" Bigla na lang sumulpot si Marco sa tabi ni Dianna.
"Block your emotions! Please!" Mabuti na lang at walang masyadong tao sa paligid para makita ang paghi-hysteria ko. Napaluhod ako sa damuhan ang mga kamay ko kusang pumunta sa uluhan. Pakiramdam ko, sasabog ito sa sobrang sakit.
"Are you okay!?"
"What is wrong!?"
Tumakbo palapit sa akin ang dalawa.
"I'm feeling you both. Empath. Scared.concern.sad.angry.happy...ugh! Mask it please!"
"Okay. Okay!" Parehas nilang sinabi at unti-unti nawala ang sakit. Ibinaba ko ang kamay ko at naupo.
"Thanks. I'm fine now." Iniling ko ang ulo ko sa kamay ni Marco na nakalahad para tulungan akong tumayo. Imbis, ginamit ko ang sariling lakas. Huminga ako nang malalim at humarap sa dalawa. "I can handle myself. So...um, what is it now? Plano natin?" Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko. Nagsimula muli akong maglakad na parang walang nangyari kani-kanina lang. My mind feels like floating in the air.
"Teka! Yanna!" Pinigilan ako ng mga kamay ni Marco. "Sa'n ka pupunta?" Hinawakan niya ang mukha ko para tingnan ko siya sa mga mata niya.
"Home. Wherever it is. I'm tired. My mind wants to explode and I'm missing my mom who won't bother to call me." Ibinaba ko ang kamay niya at lumingon ako kay Dianna. "Sorry."
"Let us get you home, okay?" Tumango ako at hindi na nanlaban pa ng buhatin niya ako. "Coming?" Sigaw nito sa direksyon ni Dianna.
"Yeah, but you know...I am not fond of flying so I'm making a portal. Give me something of yours." Iniabot ni Marco rito ang isang purselas. "See you there then, Di."
Umangat kami sa lupa at ilang segundo pa ay nasa harapan na kami ng bahay namin ni Franco.
"Nice house," komento ni Dianna, kalalabas lang ng portal.
Umakyat ako at nag-akmang bubuksan ang pintuan. Pero natigilan ako.
"Thank god I saw you! Kanina pa kita hinahanap!" Lumabas ang pigura ni Anna sa kotseng sinasakyan niya.
"Well...I am living my fucking life?"
"Not the right time for sarcasm. You need to come with me, kailangan kang makausap ng prinsipal."
"This time of night?"
"Yes it's urgent." Walang keme akong bumaba ng hagdan papunta sa kotse ni Anna. "You two can't come." Pigil nito kina Dianna at Marco.
"You don't have a choice, they are coming with me. O, hindi ako sasama." Tuluyan akong pumasok sa loob ng sasakyan, sumunod naman sa akin ang dalawa. Wala ng nagawa pa si Anna tungkol dito.
"You are going to be fine." Kinuha ni Marco ang kamay ko. Silently channeling support. Ngumiti lang ako rito. Where the hell is Franco, I need him. Kailangan kong marinig na sabihin niyang magiging ayos ang lahat, katulad nang madalas niyang ginagawa. Kailangan ko siya para kalmahin ako.
Tahimik akong bumaba ng sasakyan habang nakabuntot sa akin ang mga *guardian* ko. Walang katok katok kong binuksan ang opisina ng prinsipal, "Need to talk to me?" Pambungad kong bati.
"Celestine..."
"Kuya Lyndon!?" Nagulat akong tumakbo sa pinakbata kong kuya, mahigpit ko itong niyakap. Kahit pa magkalayo ang edad namin, siya ang pinaka-malapit saakin. "Why are you here!? Does mom and dad know about this? Gosh I miss you!"
"Kuya? You are Lyndon Carmichael's sister? Celestine?"
"I told Anna to take only you. Marco close the door please. Why are they even with you Celestine?"
Hindi pa nga pala niya alam ang tungkol dito. Great! Talk about how things are going crazy. I got the valid reason to be out of my sanity.
"They are my guardians." Itinaas ko ang braso kong may ukit ng mga simbolo.
"It's happening..." Sabi ng prinsipal habang sinusuri ang mga ukit sa braso ko.
"Okay. Enough!" Inagaw ko pabalik ang kamay ko.
"Try to explain things here...?" Hindi ko pinansin ang tanong ni Marco.
"What is happening? Bakit ka nandito Kuya?"
"Celestine...Dad is missing."
Tumigil ang lahat. Nawalan ng tunog ang paligid. Isang 'di makitang kutsilyo ang tumarak sa dibdib ko. Sobrang sakit. Unti-unting naputol ang hininga ko hanggang sa...kuhanin ako ng kadiliman.
Author's Notes: Sorry kung at times magulo ang story. Hindi ko po ito forte. Mystery/Thriller/Action/Dark Romance ako eh. (excuses.XD) haha. Thanks though. If you like this story here's the link to the previous one: https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part13-ang-mga-nakatakdang-mangyari-875cd0e9
Anomaly (Part13: Ang Mga Nakatakdang Mangyari)
Franco?" Hanap ko sa kaniya dahil wala na ito sa tabi ko pagmulat ko. Maaga pa, saan naman kaya siya pumunta. "Franc-" napatigil ako.
"Sorry!" Mabilis na tumakbo si Marco papasok ng kuwarto para magbihis.
"Don't walk nude in the house, kung pupuwede lang? Even in boxers."
Tumango tango lang ito para sumagot, "Wala nga pala si Franco, he left a message sa fridge. Sabi n'ya he'd call later daw. Uhm...he left you in my care."
"Hindi na ako bata para mangailangan ng taga-bantay. I can take care of myself, so you just know," sabi ko, papunta sa direksyon ng kusina para kunin ang *note* na iniwan ni Franco kasama ang isang k'wintas. Marahil galing na naman do'n sa prisipal.
*Balik ako mamaya, may biglaan lang na kailangan gawin. Wear the necklace, sabi ni tanda makakatulong daw yan sa distance natin. Marco wud be der for u. Call later. Love u baby. Take care and be safe.*
"Told you." Tumingin ako kay Marco at napabuntong hininga. Whatever he says, I don't need a guard. Isinuot ko ang k'wintas at naglakad pabalik sa sala.
"I don't need a guard," sabi ko, palagpas sa kaniya.
"Well, technically...I am your guard."
Ang pinakamahirap sa buhay ay 'yung makipagtalo sa taong ayaw magpatalo kaya imbis na sumagot pa, itinaas ko nalang ang balikat ko at umupo sa sofa at pumikit. Sumasakit lang ang ulo ko. Kung pupuwede lang e, hindi na ako papasok; kahit kailan. I don't think I can handle more strange noises inside my head.
"Hungry?" Ibinukas ko ang mata ko at tumingin sa kamay na may hawak-hawak na bote ng dugo.
"I'm hungry. Human food hungry. Salamat nalang pero you can have it."
"So...you still eat human food, huh? Weird. But...uhm...you can cook there..." Itinuro niya ang direksyon ng kusina. I can't help but roll my eyes up.
"I can't even open a can of sardines, pa'no pa ko magluluto?"
"*Burgis?"*
"Huh?"
"Rich kid, what I mean." Hindi ako umimik, pumikit lang ulit ako. Siguro pag-inisip kong hindi na ako gutom, hindi na rin ako magugutom Lame, I know.
"Here. Pumunta ako ng Down Town". Binukas ko ulit ang mata ko at nakita ko ang hawak-hawak nitong pagkain. Burger and fries.
"Pa'no..." Muntik ko ng makalimutang hindi nga pala simpleng tao ang kasama ko, kung hindi bampira. Weird that I can't seem to get the hang of it since I've been living with wolves my whole life, not that I see them oftenly. "Thanks," sabi ko pagka-abot sa plastik.
Matapos kumain nagbihis na ako para pumasok, na kung pupuwede lang hindi ko gustong gawin.
"Are you ready, princess?" Tumingin ako ng masama kay Marco at sa mga nakalahad nitong kamay. Dahil sa napakalayo namin sa *academic building,* kinakailangan namin ng sasakyan para makapunta do'n pero dahil wala kaming sasakyan, isang paraan lang ang puwede kung gusto kong umabot sa unang klase ko. Huminga ako nang malalim at humawak sa balikat ni Marco sabay pikit habang mabilis akong iniangat sa sahig. Wala pang sampung segundo at nasa tapat na kami ng building.
"Salamat," bulong ko kay Marco.
Hindi katulad ng dati, pagkapasok ko sa loob ng silid aralan, wala akong kahit ano mang boses na narinig sa utak ko. Tahimik. Masarap sa pakiramdam. Natapos ang buong klase na walang gumagambala sa utak ko, walang humuhuning bubuyog. I wonder the why and the how of this.
"So...sa'n tayo? Sa'n kayo tumatambay?" Tanong ni Marco pagkalabas namin ng klase, *recess* na at nagugutom na naman ako.
"Uhm...kasama ng mga gurdian ni Franco. Sa labas." Tumuro ako sa bintana sa ilalim ng punong madalas naming tambayan. Walang tao doon ngayon. "Where are they? Pati si Ms. Hanni, wala rin. Nasa'n ba talaga si Franco?"
"He's doing business don't worry about him. Hindi rin s'yang p'wedeng bumiyahe ng hindi kasama 'yung mga ugok niyang guardian. So...they are all with him. Pati si Henrietta kasama nila. Sa...Canteen nalang tayo?"
Kinabahan akon pumunta sa maraming tao, pero...wala pa naman akong naririnig ngayong araw, hindi ba? Baka....okay lang. Ngumiti ako at tumango.
Kumuha si Marco ng dalwang bote ng dugo at nagsimula kaming maghanap ng upuan. Maraming tao pero gayon pa rin, tahimik ang lahat, ang isip ko.
"Yanna!" Agad na salubong sa akin ni Sam.
"Hey! Room mate!" Segunda naman ni Thea.
Dumiretso kami sa lamesang inuukupa nila at naupo ako sa tabi ni Sam at si Marco naman kay Thea.
"Long time no see, Al!" Bati ni Marco kay Thea na may kasamang malakas na batok.
"Aray! Gusto mo bang mabuhay pa, ha? MONTEVERDE?" Galit na singhal ni Thea, sabay ganti ng suntok.
Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Okay lang ang lahat.
"So how's life?" Tanong ni Sam sa akin.
"Fine, I guess. Ikaw?"
"Surviving. Alam mo bang limampu't walo lang ang normal na tao sa buong eskuwelahan? But...I guess life's fine with me too."
"Kamusta naman Adrianna?" May tumapik sa likod ko at napabalikwas ako ng tayo sa upuan, hindi dahil sa nagulat ako kun'di dahil masakit ang pagkakatapik nito.
"Maureen puwede ba!?"
"Why, Marco? Pati ba ikaw nagoyo na ng babaeng 'to?"
*I'll promise to make her life a living hell.*
*Kasalanan naman niya kung ano man ang nangyayari sa kaniya.*
*Hindi kasi dapat niya binabangga Maureen.*
*She looks pathetic.*
*Tama lang 'yan sa kan'ya.*
*She's an outsider anyway.*
"ENOUGH!" Sumakit ang ulo ko. Napatayo ako nang tuluyan mula sa pagkakaupo, naitulak ko ng 'di sinasadya si Maureen. Salamat nalang at 'di kagaya ng dati, napaupo lamang ito sa sahig.
"How dare you!?" Sigaw ni Maureen sa akin. Tinulungan itong tumayo ng mga alipores niya, isa rito 'yung babaeng may kasalanan sa muntikan kong pagkasunog. "Hindi pa ba sapat na na-ospital ako! For the first time in my life! Are you really trying to kill me!?"
*Naku! Lagot s'ya, hindi magandang mapunta sa bad side ng mga Elizalde.*
*Hindi niya ba alam na kahit pa Significant siya ng Prinsipe ay hindi siya makaka-ere sa apo ng isang Elder?*
*Shit. Pang-drama na naman 'to. Puwede namang magpakumbaba nalang ang isa sa kanila. Daig pa ang MMK.*
"I-I'm so-"
Tumigil ako nang pumagitna sa amin si Marco, pagkahawak na hawak niya sa kamay ko, tumahimik ang lahat. Nawala ang ingay pati ang sakit na dala nito. Alam ko na kung bakit hindi ako nakakarinig ng mga iniisip ng mga tao kanina pa. It's because of Marco.
"Tama na, Maureen. P'wede ba? You are acting like a pathetic brat, whose candy is stolen. Tapos na kayo ni Franco, p'wedeng tanggapin mo nalang 'yun?"
"I'm not done with you. I will get you back *bitch*." Inihampas ni Maureen ang kamay sa hangin, matapos ay mabilis itong nawala kasabay ng mga alipores niya.
"Are you okay?" Tanong ni Marco habang inaalalayan ako palabas ng canteen. "Mauna na kami," paaalam nito sa mga kaibigan namin. Tumango lang sina Thea at Sam sa amin.
"Sorry, naistorbo ko 'yung kain ninyo." Ngumiti ako kay Thea.
"Its okay, don't worry about it Room mate. Next time sa Down Town nalang tayo kumain."
Tuluyan kaming umalis sa mataong lugar. Kasabay pa rin nito 'yung bulungan pero 'di tulad ng dati. Tahimik ang pag-iisip ko. Mahigpit kong hawak-hawak ang kamay ni Marco. Pakiramdam ko kapag hawak ko ito, ligtas ako. Na walang mangyayaring masama sa akin.
"Thanks," bulong ko, nakarating na kami sa labasan sa may damuhan sa may kakaunting tao.
"For what? I'm suppose to guard you. Para ngang hindi ko masyadong nagagawa 'yung tungkulin ko." Matipid itong ngumiti, ang mga mata niya marahang bumaba sa mga kamay namin pataas sa mukha ko.
"Franco told me about your powers. This whole morning I was thinking why I'm not swarming with other people's thoughts, I'm thankful because of it. It's because of you, Marco. Salamat and you are doing a great job." Binitawan ko ang kamay niya, panghihinayang ang sumunod dito.
"You know fate is fucking messing with me. I'm the one who saw you first, yet sa kan'ya ka napunta. Do you even remember me?"
Nagulat ako sa tanong niya, anong sinasabi niyang siya ang unang nakakita sa akin? "Ha? You saw me before? Kailan?"
"In that stinky cell in Manila. I should have the guts to atleast ask your name that night. Siguro hindi ako nanghinayang."
"Ano...? I thought it was Franco the whole time."
"Inakala mong ako s'ya? Why?" Lumapit sa akin si Marco. Hawak-hawak ang dalawang balikat ko. Pilit akong hinihingian ng kapaliwanagan.
"Marco, please...stop it. You look, too same as he is...I never thought na may kambal s'ya. And what kind of coincidence it was? Sorry...can we not talk about it...? I can't erase the bond with your brother and yours to me. Nothing could change that fact, we are all connected....I guess." Hinawi ko pababa ang mga kamay ni Marco, marahan silang pinipisil. "Mahuhuli na tayo sa next class." Matipid ko itong nginitian.
"Okay...I will let it go. But, just for now." Inilayo niya ang tingin sa akin at naglakad papasok sa loob ng *academic building.*
"Wait lang, Marco!" Sigaw ko pero hindi ito lumingon para hintayin ako. Kaya naman tahimik nalang akong sumunod sa kaniya.
"Marcus, long time no see! Tuloy- tuloy na ba ngayon 'to?" Itinaas lang ni Marco ang balikat niya para sumagot sa titser naming nagtanong matapos ay umupo ito sa isang bakanteng upuan na sinundan ko naman.
"Marco are you ignoring me?Don't ignore me, please...?" Kakaibang tingin at isang buntong hininga lang ang isinagot sa akin ni Marco. He is giving me a silent treatment, punishing me for something I don't have a hold of. Kung puwede ko lang suntukin si tadhana, baka nagawa ko na.
Matapos ang eksena sa labas kanina, 'ni simpleng kamusta, hindi ako magawang tanungin ni Marco. Kasama ko nga siya buong araw, nakabuntot sa akin pero ang pakiramdam ko, may kasama akong bomba na sasabog sa 'di ko malamang oras. Nakakakaba pero wala naman akong magawa. *Hay...* Ayoko lang matapos ang araw na may bigat sa loob niya, hindi ko kasi maiwasang mag-aalala dahil nararamdaman ko lahat ng nararamdaman niya. That is just how the bond works.
Author's Notes: Missing me? I'm kinda in sour mood lately. Hayyysss .. anyway thank you so much guys for reading my stories and if you love this one here's the link to the previous chapter:
https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part-12-kapatid-kaibigan-kakampi-kaaway-59e36091
Anomaly (Part 12: Kapatid, Kaibigan, Kakampi, Kaaway)
"May tao ba d'yan? Tulong naman, o!" Kagaya nang inaasahan ko, walang nakakarinig sa akin. Sa totoo lang sa dami ng bampira sa eskwelahan? Napahampas ako sariling noo nang maalalang nasa isang banyo nga pala ako at malamang nakaselyo ito.
May isa pa namang daanan e, kaya lang kung doon ako dadaan iikot ako sa *quadrangle* at mataas ang araw. Really? A wolf afraid of the sun. How unique, right?
Puwede naman akong hindi lumabas ng banyo, pero pasasayahin ko lang ang gumawa sa akin nito. And I won't do that, not in a million chance. Bahala na, hindi ako luluhod sa harapan nila. Mapapagod sila pero lalaban ako.
Lumabas ako sa kabilang pintuan sa likod ng *academic building.* Mataas nga ang araw, agad akong pumasok pabalik sa nilabasan ko. Gaano ba kalayo 'yung lalakarin ko? Hindi naman siguro ganoon kalayo kaya kakayanin ko ito. Lakas loob kong itinapak muli ang paa sa mainit na simento at tumakbo. *Ump.* Nabunggo ako sa isang pader...sa isang babae pala.
"Ito ba 'yung hinahanap mo?" Sabi ng nakabunggo sa akin, itinaas niya ang kamay na may suot-suot na singsing. Ang singsing ko!
"Give it back to me!" Sigaw ko rito na may hingal sa boses.
"And why would I do that?" Inabot ko ang kamay ng babae kaya lang napigilan ako. Hindi ko maigalaw ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan, parang nakadikit sila sa semento. Yumuko ako, napansin ko ang nakaguhit na bilog sa mismong paanan ko. "Very good Diana!"
Tumingin ako sa babaeng bigla nalang tumabi sa magnanakaw ng singsing ko. 'Yung nakatapon ng inumin sa akin. So, this was there plan all along. *Shit!*
"I can call Franco and you both would be in so much trouble," mahinahon kong pagbabanta. Wala naman sigurong makakaalam na wala kaming *mind link* ni Franco. I hope they would believe me.
"Go ahead and try your hardest. You know my bestfriend Diana here is a top ranking witch student at hanggat hindi niya inaalis ang spell d'yan sa bilog na kinatatayuan mo, hindi ka makakaalis. Call it even nalang sa ginawa mo kay Maureen. Maranasan mo ring masunog."
"Hey! Stop! Get me out of here! Hey! I promise you won't get away with this!" Nagsusumigaw ako pero wala na akong naggawa pa at umalis na ang dalawa nang tuluyan. *Dammit,* alam ba nilang puwede ko itong ikamatay? *Stupid bitches!*
*Franco! Franco! Please naman o, tulungan mo ako! Franco!*
Talagang walang nangyayari, nangangalay na ang mga paa ko at unti-unti nang humahapdi ang balat ko. One hour is the top I could withstand the sun. Matapos ang isang oras, hindi ko na alam ang mangyayari sa akin.
"May tao ba d'yan!? Help me please! TULONG! Tulong! *Tulong!* "
Sumisikip na ang dibdib ko kasama nang paninilim ng mga mata ko. Napaupo nalang ako sa sahig upang mabawasan ang pangangawit. Itinago ang mga braso sa may tiyan at yumuko para matakpan din ang mukha. Pakiramdam ko dinidilaan ang buong katawan ko ng apoy. Lumulusot na sa damit na suot ko. Mainit. Sobrang init na nakakapaso, nakakasunog.
"Ahhh! Franco!" Sigaw ko nang tuluyan. Hindi ko na talaga kaya kinaya pa unti-unting napulutol ang hininga ko kasabay nang pagbigat ng talukap ng mga mata ko.
"Hey? Anong nangyayari sayo?"
Franco? Sinubukan kong itaas ang mukha ko pero wala nang natitrang lakas sa katawan ko. But I know it is him. The voice. Naramdam ko ang pagtatangkang pagbuhat sa akin ni Franco.
"Who did this to you?" Hinubad niya ang suot na polo at tinakip sa katawan ko. "Why aren't you in your uniform? Are you stupid?" Hindi ko na alam pa ang mga sumunod niyang mga sinabi at ang mga nangyari dahil dumilim na ang lahat at nawalan na ako ng malay. Nang huli akong nawalan ng malay, nakilala ko ang *significant* ko, ngayon ano naman kaya ang naghihintay sa akin.
*She is darn cute. Kung hindi lang siya natutulog ngayon malamang nahalikan ko na ang mga labi niya. Shit! Ano ba ang iniisip ko? Puta. Hindi ko alam ba't ako nagkakagan'to. Nababaliw na 'ata ako.*
Unti-unting bumukas ang mga mata ko. Tumambad sa akin ang nakangiting mukha ni Franco. Agad akong napabalikwas ng tayo sa kama at kapit nang mahigpit sa kaniya. "Thank God, Franco you came! Akala ko...akala ko..." Nanigas ang lalaki sa bisig ko, marahan niya akong itinulak palayo sa kaniya.
"Sorry. I am not Franco," sabi nitong nakatitig sa mata ko.
Anong ibig niyang sabihin? Nanaginip ba ako? Bumaling ang ulo ko pakanan, sumasakit na naman ang ulo ko.
"Okay ka lang ba?" Tanong sa akin ni Franco; hindi nga pala siya si Franco.
"Franco, no....I cannot understand. If you are not him...ugh! Sumasakit ang ulo ko."
"Thank God you are okay Yanna. I'll kill the person who've done this to you!" May isa pang Franco na pumasok mula sa kurtina. "Yanna, yanna...sabi ko na, hindi dapat kita iniwan. Hindi." Ikinulong ako nito sa mahigpit na yakap. The moment he touch me, I know it is him. The familiarity that he brings; the peace. But...who's the other one?
"Ahem... Marco. I'm Marco nga pala," putol nito sa amin.
"He is my brother. Twin brother," Pagpapaliwanag pa ni Franco nang pakawalan niya ako.
Kaya pala sila magkamukha. Pero hindi no'n ipinapaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko. Ito na naman, may kung anong nangyayari sa loob ko. May kakaiba, mainit na parang napapaso ang braso ko. Kumislot ang mukha ko at itinaas ang kumikirot na parte ng katawan. Isang hugis araw na may pangil ang kusang nauukit sa balat ko, ang simbolo ng mga bampira.
"Anong nanyayari?" Hindi maipaliwanag ang ekspres'yon ni Franco habang si Marco naman ay biglang lumuhod sa harapan ko.
"Ako si Marcus Angelo Monteverde nangangakong itataya ang buong buhay para sa kaligtasan mo." Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at marahang inilapit sa bibig para halikan. Fuck, I just earned myself a guardian. Hindi ko na alam kung anong reaksyon ang dapat kong iguhit sa mukha ko, gulat ba o saya? Patuloy lang akong naguguluhan, gusto ko ng sagot; ng kaliwanagan.
May humila sa pagkakahawak ni Marco sa kamay ko. Bumaling ako ng tingin kay Franco. Selos. Bigla nalang umusok palabas sa sistema niya ang pakiramdam, lingid sa kaalaman na nararamdaman ko rin ito. Matalim itong tumitig sa kakambal niya. *Akin,* pilit isinisigaw ng loob nito. Galit na may umaangkin sa akin. Hindi rin naman kasi karaniwang magkaroon ng lalaking *guardian* ang mga babae. Kagaya nang kay Franco, lahat ng mga *guardian* niya ay lalaki. Pero, hindi lang 'yun ang malaking isyu; lobo ako at parehas silang bampira.
Wala nagpapatinag sa dalawa, walang gustong pumutol nang naiibang temperatura sa loob nang makitid na kuwarto.
"Franco stop it," umpisa ko, hinahaplos-haplos ang braso niya. Pilit na kinakalma ito.
"Significant ka niya? That can't be right..." Napatigil si Marco, naghihintay ng sagot mula sa amin ni Franco.
"As if you being her guardian is any different," sagot ni Franco dito. Ano ba ang meron? I thought, from Franco's stories that they are close.
"But...she's...she's not a vampire. I'm sure that you are not." Bumaling ito ng tingin sa akin, parang sinusukat ako ng mga mata niya. Humahanap ng eksplenasyon sa tanong na ako mismo, hindi ko masagot.
"Hindi magandang pag-usapan 'yan dito," paalala ko.
*Buti nga sa kan'ya! Sana nasunog s'ya nang tuluyan sa arawan! Pathetic bitch! Kulang pa nga.'yung ginawa namin, naku!*
Napailing ang ulo ko sa gawing kanan at napahawak ang kamay ko sa may batok. I need to stop hearing these things; why am I even hearing them? As if it can change something.
"Why? May sumasakit ba sayo? Kanina ka pa gan'yan," nag-aalalang tanong ni Franco. "Don't lie to me," dagdag pa nito.
Yes, I could always lie, but, "I think I can read minds Franco--" Huminto ako, tinitigang mabuti ang mga mata nila. "Not just yours Franco, or yours Marco...but everyone...I can't explain, pero...I think I can hear all the intended thoughts for me. It's really freak--"
"Kumusta?" Isang lalaking nakaputi ang pusmasok sa maliit na kuwarto na pumutol sa pag-uusap namin. "Naistorbo ko ba kayo?"
"No.Hindi naman po Dr. De Mata," bati ni Franco sa doktor na unti-unti nang lumapit sa akin para masuri ako.
"So, Ms. Carlos? The second time this week? Dapat lagi kang mag-iingat, ang uniporme ng mga estudyante ay ginagawa para sa kaligtasan nila, ninyo. Hindi mo dapat ito hibnuhubad lalo't...alam mo ba kung sino ang may gawa nito?"
Nanahimik ako at umiling nalamang, hindi ko gustong lumala pa ang problema ko kay Maureen at sa mga kaibigan niya.
"Alam mo naman siguro na malalaman pa rin namin kung sino 'yon 'di ba?"
Malamang? Pero pinandigan ko ang una kong desisyon, ang pananahimik. Ngumiti na lamang ako sa doktor.
"Well...let me see." Tumuro ang doktor sa noo ko at bumulong ng mga kung ano man. "Suprisingly, wala namang deperensya sayo...kaya maari na kayong umuwi, maggagabi na rin. " Ngumiti ang doktor at marahang umalis. "One more thing, ijah, ang rule book ay ibinibigay sa mga estudyante sa isang magandang dahilan. Basahin ito, maari ba?" Tumango ako at tuluyan na itong umalis. Sa mga biglaang nangyayari sa akin, hindi ko na naisip gawin ang bagay na iyon. *Hay.* It seems lame.
"Nagugutom ka ba?" Tanong ni Franko habang naglalakad kami papunta sa bahay. Lumingon ako kay Marco na kasama pa rin naming naglalakad, tahimik na nakapamewang sa may likod. There's something weird about him that I cannot put a name on, his presense. "Yanna?" Putol ni Franco sa pag-iisip ko.
"Yes? Uhm...pasensya na. Oo, lets eat."
Binuhat ako ni Franco at mabilis siyang tumakbo sa direksyon ng bahay. Nang ilapag ako nito nasa loob na kami, sa may sala.
"I'll get you some blood. Strawberry?" Ngumiti ako at tumango habang paupo sa sofa.
"You drink blood?" Nagulat ako at halos mapabalikwas ng tayo sa kinauupuan ko, hindi ko namalayang kaharap ko pala si Marco.
"Yep," maikli kong sagot dito.
"But you are not a vampire."
He said it with so much certainty that I cannot negate him. "Yep," sagot kong muli.
"Iyan lang ba ang alam mong salita?"
"Sorry. I know it is weird, especially to me. I just feel awkward about your twin being my significant and you being my guardian. I'm a werewolf Marco, or I am supposed to be one. Hindi ko alam...kung bakit ako nagkakaganito...I am being redundant with my own self, alam mo ba 'yon? I am not hearing anything with my family about this, 'ni hindi ko alam kung..."
"Stop thinking about it. You should stop worrying about things...malapit ng dumating ang mga taga-konseho. T'yak ko masasagot din ang mga tanong natin."
Inabot ko ang bote mula kay Franco, inubos ang laman nito sa isang tunggaan. Nang ibaba ko ang mukha ko, nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Marco na agad naman niyang pinutol, "Dalawa naman 'yung kwarto dito. Akin na 'yung isa! Alam ko namang nagtatabi kayo. Bye!" Paalam niya sabay pasok sa bakanteng kwarto.
"What's wrong?" Tanong ko naman kay Franco na parang naninigas na sa tabi ko. Umiling lang ito. "Don't fight with him, okay? You don't have to be jealous. I'm all yours." Inilapit ko ang mukha ko sa kaniya at nagtama ang mga labi namin. He let me kiss him, caress his hair and wash off his uncertainties. The kiss is so gentle and so soft but with that I feel renewed. Humiwalay ako para kumuha ng hininga. Ang mga noo namin, magkadikit pa rin. "Did Marco told you what happened?"
"About Maureen's friends?" Tumango ako, umurong nang kaunti para isandal ang likod sa sofa.
"Pa'no naman niya nalamang sina Maureen ang may kasalanan?"
"They've been bullying Dianna for so long. I don't even know why that girl let them. Si Dianna lang naman kasi ang may kakayanan para gumawa ng gano'ng spell. She's being groomed as her mother's successor," pagpapaliwanag ni Franco.
"Then if she's that powerful, how did Marco broke the circle? 'Ni hindi ko magawang itaas ang mga paa ko no'n." Pumikit ako, inaalala ang mga nangyari.
"He's a nullifier."
"Ha? I thought they are myths. Wow. So any spell won't work on him?"
"Yes."
"Wow."
"Tigilan mo ang pamumuri sa kan'ya dahil nagseselos ako." Itinaas bigla ni Franco ang kamay ko at hinalikan ako sa kilikili. Nagtatawa ako, sabay nang pagkarga niya sa akin papasok sa kuwarto at marahang bagsak sa kama.
"What are you thinking?" Sabi ko ng makita ko ang kakaiba nitong tingin. Itinaas niya ang dalawang kamay at hinubad ng suot na t-shirt tapos sinamahan niya ako sa kama at... kiniliti ako.
Sumasakit ang tiyan ko sa katatawa, "Stop it. Stop it! Franco tama na let us sleep na, okay?" Tumigil siya at yumakap sa akin, pinisil ko 'yung ilong niya at pumikit. Tiwala lang at magiging okay ang lahat. Pati sarili kong utak, hindi ko na pinaniniwalaan.
......
Author's Notes: Thanks for reading. If you like this story here's the link to the previous chapter:
https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part-11-ang-mga-bulungan-4ae71b31
Anomaly (Part 11 :Ang Mga Bulungan)
"Anong ginagawa mo d'yan?" Lumingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses, kakaiba ang tingin sa akin ni Franco. *Grrr..*. Nagugutom na talaga ako; nalaman kong hindi dahil sa bigla ko nalang nagustuhan ang dugo ay ito nalang ang kakainin ko. Hindi pala kasi kailangan ko pa ring kumain ng normal na pgkain. Nasa harapan ako ng kalan at mariing pinag-aaralan kung paano ito gagana. "Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo d'yan? Ba't parang gusto mo 'atang lamunin nang buo ang kalan?" Muli akong lumingon kay Franco. I let out an air of frustration.
"Nagugutom na ako," maikli kong sagot.
"Hindi ka marunong gumamit ng kalan?" Tanong ni Franco habang pilit ang hindi pagtawa. Umiling naman ako para sumagot.
"Can you just help me?" *Grrr...* Muling nagrambol ang bituka ko't hindi na talaga napigil ni Franco, tumawa ito nang napakalakas. "Seriously?" Hindi ko naman kasalanang madami pa sa mga daliri ko ang mga kasambahay namin. Kung iisipin ko nga, hindi pa ako nakakarating sa kusina ng bahay namin.
"Tumawa ka pagkatapos kong kumain...now, teach me how to use this freaking monster. *UGH!*" Itinuro ko ang kaldero kong may lamang tubig at sa *noodles* na nakalutang dito.
Lumapit sa akin si Franco, nahimasmasan na sa pagtawa. "Pinagsama mo ang noodles at tubig? Hindi p'wede 'yun." Kumuha siya nang bagong kaldero, nilagyan ito ng tubig at saka pinatong sa kalan. "Ngayon, para naman buksan itong halimaw na tinutukoy mo, kailangan mo nito," itinaas niya sa hangin ang isang bagay na kinuha niya sa katabing tokador, "lighter ang tawag dito. Nakikita mo 'yang drawing, 'yung bilog na itim? 'Yan din ang posisyon ng kalan na bubuksan mo. Ang gagawin mo...pihitin mo itong buton sabay pindot dito sa lighter at tapat sa kalan. Presto may apoy na! Pagkakumulo ang tubig tsaka mo lang ilalagay ang noodles kasi magiging labsa 'yun pag sa una palang nilagay mo na." Tahimik naming hinantay na bumula-bula ang tubig at inilagay ang noodles. "Ngayon pagna'lagay mo na ang noodles, susunod ang seasoning...mas masarap din ang may kalamansi dito. Matapos n'yan ay agad mong hinaan ang apoy kasi aapaw. Mag-aantay nalang tayo ng three minutes at makakain ka na!" Matapos maluto ang noodles ay pumunta kami sa sala para makakain ako.
"Thank you," bulong ko kay Franco, laking ngiting pasubo ng noodles. "How'd you learn to cook, huh, Prince?"
"Noodles lang 'yun..." Nagkibit balikat ako at patuloy na kumain. "I used to cook for myself, nung namatay 'yung parents ko, nagrebelde ako and there was a time na lumayas pa nga ako. Ang feeling ko kasi tinarantado ako ng tadhana at ng kung sino mang si hedus na nakatingin sa'tin mula sa itaas. Bumalik lang ako nu'ng hindi ko na malaman ang gagawin dahil sa, I was starting to...*turn.*"
"That must be really hard."
"Nah, kasama ko naman 'yung kapatid ko."
"Kapatid? Si Miss Hanni?"
"No. Not her, himala ang bagay na 'yun kung mangyayari man. It was my brother."
"May kapatid kang lalaki? Younger o older?"
"Older, ako ang bunso. Ikaw may mga kapatid ka ba?"
"Oo, tatlong kuya."
"Tell me Yanna, are you from a powerful clan?" Muntikan na akong mabilaukan sa sinabi ni Franco. He's quite getting closer to knowing, who I really am. "Okay lang, 'wag mong sagutin. Ang sabi ko naman sayo, mag-aantay ako 'di ba? But you must be rich as hell. Come on kalan? NOODLES?"
Tumingin ako sa kaniya nang matalim at biglang tumawa, "Kasi naman 'yung nakikita ko sa TV e... pipihitin lang 'yung parang switch then may apoy na. Hindi ko naman alam na ang dami palang kaek-ekan n'yang bagay na 'yan."
Tumawa kami, masaya. Saglit nakalimutan ko 'yung mga nangyayari sa akin. 'Yung kalituhan ko. Alam ko kasing nandiyan lang siya para gabayan at samahan ako, pero kaakibat nito 'yung kagustuhan kong maging matatag para sa sarili ko. Ayaw kong matulad sa mga babaeng nasa mga kuwento na lagi nalang nililigtas dahil sa mahina sila.
......
"Eyes on me," paalala ni Franco bago kami pumasok sa loob ng *classroom.* Tumango naman ako at ngumiti sa direk'syon niya. Pagpasok palang ay salubong na ang mga bulungan *o bulungan nga ba?* It's different this time.
*She's hot god dammit!*
*Sexy as hell. If only I could my hands on her.*
*Baka galing s'ya sa mga ancient clans. Malakas kasi s'ya.*
*Ang lakas n'ya kaya, mas malakas pa s'ya kay Maureen.*
*Ang sama niya! Inagaw na nga niya si Franco kay Maureen tapos sinaktan pa niya to. Tsk!*
*Ang dapat d'yan inihaharap sa konseho para parusahan. Dapat sa kan'ya mapunta sa abyss.*
*She's a disgrace, anyone who hurt their own kind is a disgrace! If I don't know, she might be a rogue!*
Napakislot ang mukha ko at kapit nang mahigpit kay Franco. *Dammit,* malapit na akong mabingi, bakit parang lumalakas lalo ang mga bulungan nila? Mas'yadong malakas na parang sa mismong tainga ko ibinubulong ang bawat salita.
"What's wrong? May masakit ba sa'yo?" Napailing nalang ako, patuloy ang paglalakad hanggang sa makaupo sa dating puwesto namin.
"Wala naman," pagsisinungaling ko.
"May problema ba Mr. Monteverde? Ms. Carlos?" Baling ng tanong sa amin ng titser naming si Ms. Hanni.
"Wala naman, Henrietta." Lakas loob na sagot ni Franco sa kapatid niya.
*Napapasa'kin ka rin.* Napalingon ako sa likod ko sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Tumambad sa akin ang iba't ibang itsura ng mga kaklase ko, walang kakaiba. Masyado lang sigurong malikot ang imahinasyon ko at kung anu-ano ang naririnig. I mean, their minds are the ones talking, right? Well, that's the only explanation I got. Nababasa ko 'yung iniisip nila. Wala naman kasi talagang nagsasalita pero alam ko namang totoo 'yung mga naririnig ko; siguro naman hindi pa ako nababaliw, 'di ba? At saka wala naman sigurong magkaka-interes sa akin, kagaya ng mga iniisip nila; mas'yado akong karaniwan. Kung 'di pa dahil do'n sa aksidente at sa pagpapakilala sa akin ni Franco bilang *significant* niya, malamang wala talagang makakapansin sa akin. 'Yun din naman kasi ang balak ko. I hate the feeling of prying eyes behind my back, I hate being watch and if given a chance I would love to be an incognito.
Nagsimula at natapos ang buong klase at sa totoo lang walang pumasok sa kokote ko, hindi sa dahilang wala akong maintindihan kun'di dahil sa patuloy kong mga naririnig. Parang mga langaw na pilit humuhuni sa tainga ko. Nakabubulahaw.
"Franco, sandali!" Pigil ni Miss Hanni sa amin bago kami makalabas ng silid. "Nakahanda na ba 'yung plataporma mo? Sa susunod na araw na ang..."
"Alam ko," putol ni Franco sa kaniyang ate sabay hila sa kamay ko.
"Franco." Hinawakan ni Ms. Hanni ang braso ni Franco at tuluyan kaming napahinto.
"I'll do it, okay? I promise I will be there. Wala naman akong magagawa hindi ba? Iba naman na ngayon kasi may kailangan na akong protektahan."
Tumango si Ms. Hanni, nakontento ito sa sagot ni Franco kaya naman binitawan na niya ito. "Good luck then."
*Magiingat ka.* Napalingon ako sa gawi ni Miss Hanni bago ako tuluyang makaalpas sa pinto. Takot at pag-aalala ang naramdaman kong nanggagaling sa kaniya. Mag-ingat saan? Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad at isinawalang bahala ang kuro-kurong iyon. Una 'yung boses sa klase, ngayon si Ms. Hanni naman? Ano ba talaga ang nangyayari? Lalo lang sumasakit ang ulo ko.
"Kukunin mo na ba 'yung posisyon mo? Hindi ka pa ba handa?" Tanong ko para iliko ang mga iniisip ko. Umiling lang siya at nakayukong naglakad.
*Hindi ko alam pero kasi natatakot akong biguin sila. I'm young and naive, Marco would be much better candidate for the position. It was just damn luck that I get it.*
"Hindi mo naman malalaman kung hindi mo susubukan 'di ba? A bird wouldn't know if it is capable of flying if it won't flap its wings and jump. Malay mo, pinanganak ka talaga para sa posisyon na 'yun. Ang sabi mo nga tadhana ang dahilan, then there must be a good reason behind it. Trust, Franco."
Tumingin siya sa akin, "Ang sabi nang 'di marunong magluto?"
Pabiro ko siyang hinampas sa balikat at nauna na sa pagpasok sa klase namin. Kagaya ng kanina agad akong nabingi sa mga kakaibang bulungang naririnig ko. Hindi ko napigilan at napahawak ako sa ulo. Sobrang sakit. Pilit ko silang nilalabanan ngunit; wala sadyang hindi ko ito kayang gawin.
"Oops...sorry!" Isang babae ang pilit humingi ng tawad habang pinunasan ang damit kong nabasa sa pagkakabunggo sa kaniya. Natapon ang inumin niya sa akin kaya naman para tuloy akong naligo sa ulanan.
"No, it is fine. Don't worry." Hinawakan ko ang braso ng babae para pigilan ito sa patuloy na pagpunas sa damit ko.
*Naku! Baka gawin n'ya rin sa akin 'yung ginawa n'ya kay Maureen!*
Naramdaman ko ang takot sa babae. Bigla ako napahintong parang bloke ng semento na hawak-hawak parin ang kamay nito.
"Anong nangyari?" Basag ni Franco sa katahimikan na sandali kong naranasan. Nang makita ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha ni Franco ay agad akong nagkunwaring walang nangyayari sa akin.
"Ahh, nabasa kasi ako ng juice. Pero ayos lang magpapalit nalang ako ng damit. May extra naman akong pants at shirt sa locker. Walang pa rin naman 'yung professor natin." Pagpapalam ko kay Franco habang hinayaan ko na nang tuluyan ang babae. Hindi mawala sa isip ko 'yung tako niya sa akin. Gano'n na ba ako ngayon? Kinatatakutan?
Tumango lang si Franco nang piggilan ko siya nang mag-*suggest* itong samahan ako. Tahimik namn ang pasilyo patungo sa *locker room,* dahil halos lahat ay may klase. Iilan-ila lang ang nakaksalubong ko, at halos lahat sila may masamang iniiisip sa akin. I should not care, I know. Kaya lang mas mahirap talagang alam mo 'yung katotohanan. Mas madalu kasing minsan na bulag ka sa ilan.
Kinuha ko ang *spare* na damit ko sa locker at mabilis na pumasok sa banyo para makapagpalit. Humarap alo sa salamin at tiningnan ang repleksiyon ko. "Magiging maayos ang lahat," bulong ko sa sarili. Pilit pinaniniwala ang utak na magiging maayos ang lahat. Sana nga.
Naghugas ako ng mukha at kamay. Saglit akong nagbihis, paalis na sana ako ng banyong nang maalala kong hinubad ko pala ang singsing ko dahil nabasa ito. Bumalik ako sa lababo kung saan ko ito pinatong. I am really am stupid! Parang gasgas na eksena na ito sa mga kuwento pero gayun pa rin hindi ako nadaala. *Ugh!* San naman mapupunta 'yung bagay na iyon? Wala namang pumasok 'di ba? Kasi maririnig ko 'yung iniisip nila? God! Celestine you are oficially the stupidest living person in earth!
Lumabas ako ng banyo. Ang kailangan ko lang gawin ay hindi magpa-araw at ayos lang ako. Wala rin naman akong dadaanang walang bubong...
May pinapangank talagang saksakan ng malas, ano? Nakasarado 'yung pintuang papunta ng locker palabas sa hallway. *Ump!* Pilit ko itong tinutulak, pilit pinapalabas 'yung kakaibang lakas na ipinamalas ko noong isang araw kay Maureen. But it must be a fluke, because I'm sweating down on my toes and nothing is happening. The damn metal is still well intact. Buhay naman, may problema ka ba sa akin at ginagago mo ako?
Author's Notes: Hi! Musta na? Lol. Sorry po sa lahat ng typos! Unedited pa silang lahat.haha. Anyway I'm still finding my rhythm.
And if you like this story, here's the link to the previous chapter:https://read.cash/@baoxian23/anomaly-part-10-isang-natatagong-kapangyarihan-d696a855
For you.
To the untainted version of myself,
I know you are struggling to fit in. You are different and you want to be like others. But you are already beautiful inside and mostly on the outside. The scars in your body will soon disappear and you'll bloom into an amazing flower. You just have to see clearer.
Fat. Ugly. Stout. Flat nose. There's nothing wrong about the way you look. Don't listen to others, let them call you names because soon they'll know how wrong they are. It's just a phase my dear and there's nothing to worry about.
Don't rush yourself about things. There's a lot of time to experience them. Enjoy your youth, you'll only be a kid once. Stay innocent and don't lose that glow in your eyes.
I know you have a lot of questions that you are afraid to ask. But time will come where you'll understand them all. It'll come naturally, you just have to trust the process.
The feeling you're holding inside your chest, it's okay to unleash them. Be sad, be angry, be confused, be whatever you feel. It's okay, no one will judge you. And if they did, their words won't matter but what's inside you.
Live your life to the fullest, experiment and experience everything. It's okay to make mistakes, even a hundred of them. You just have to make sure that you'll learn something.
Never give up. Never lose hope. I know there are days where you feel withdrawn of the world but the things you're worrying about is just inside your head. Focus on what's important. The struggles are the one that'll make us unbreakable.
Don't worry, along the road you'll meet people who would help you appreciate the things you have. Those people will help you, you'll never be alone.
I know you'll enjoy life because I have been a witness. You'll be okay. We will make it. .
You ten years from now.
Author's Note: do you have something to tell your younger self? If you have the chance to write to the younger version of yourself, what would the letter say?
@baoxian23