30 Days Writing Challenge from Somewhere | Day 10
05/30/2022
A day of rest is somehow enough to fill my life battery again. You know it's surely tiresome to face new days without an outlet that keeps you going, especially when you are physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted, or all of the above. Sucks to be an adult, but that's the reality of it.
The world is too big and presents many opportunities and threats everyday. I always feel like the twenty four hours of the day are not enough to lay out and materialize my plans. I want to do lots of things, achieve lots of milestones. Yet, aside from myself, several other factors seem to be holding me back.
As part of self-improvement project I started recently, I also aimed to be responsible in the undertakings I joined, while taking care of my well-being at the same time. It's difficult, honestly, but rewarding once learned as a habit.
Tonight, I am still sleepy and tired from yesterday's swimming getaway. I joined in our church' youth swimming fellowship, and it was done in a nearby resort. It's only a few hours, but I enjoyed it, given I've always yearned for a day of relaxation and stress-free environment. I was more into swimming than eating, by the way. I tried learning how to dive properly (I only did a good job once out of multiple tries), and spent a good hour or more learning the "floating" style, which I never perfected.
I loved every bit of the experience. It's as if my whole body and system kept whispering to me that I badly needed it. Despite the mild body pain that quickly went away, I am just sleepy and a bit tired right now. It was all worth it. I am certain.
Instead of sleeping early tonight, I figured I must at least come by to continue my thirty days writing challenge to do something productive. Here it is. I apologize for the long sharing you did not ask for but I shared anyway.
Day 10: My Best Friend
Okay, so good thing my introduction part was long, because I ain't sure if I could say many things about my best friend. First of all, I have NONE.
I have no one I can consider a best friend in real life. I know you know that in peers, or friend groups, there is always that one person who's considered the least favorite. You can say that in all cases, that's always ME. I am not proud saying this, but it has to be said, because it's my reality.
I had multiple situations where I thought I have found that one friend who'll stick with me for life. That one person who's for keeps, but I end up disappointed eventually. It's always the same cycle, them finding 'better' companionship in other people and I just learn to accept it. That they will come and go. Gradually, I stopped expecting and it did not hurt as much as before.
If they come, I accept them as they are. If the time comes that they'll move forward and meet new people that better fit the definition of friendship for them, then I'd let them go. This strategy worked for me effectively. I don't know about you.
Now that I think of it, this is relevant to my recent experience about a certain someone who is also a long time friend of mine. A recent experience of hurt and disappointment. I may just have been a bit of sensitive, but this encounter kinda lingered in my heart for a few days before I moved on.
This is the story. I did chat her to ask her about something and she answered my questions nicely. That time, my head's full of questions, I am pressured and confused. I honestly wanted just someone to talk to, you know, just to relax. I opened up a bit and tried to test the waters if it's okay for her.
Well, just as before I tried opening the conversation for this matter, I knew she might have noticed my concern and she said something that goes along the line of this, "Hey, of you're gonna talk to me about what's been bothering you, you better not, because I am also having it hard and messy these days..."
That's where I knew I had to stop. It hasn't even started yet, but I knew I had to abort it. I respect her for that. I know we are all having it hard, and if someone doesn't want to talk about other's problem, we should respect it. That's what I did. I thanked her. And asked her how she was doing. She did not reply anymore.
I understood it, too. I am kind of boring. LOL. I admit it naman.
Anyway, me being boring is not the point of this little story. That time, I got a bit hurt.
Whenever she did chat me to ask for stuff, I always respond as soon as I can, even I am still at work or busy with something else. I try to prioritize her and listen to her rants and lamentations, even I know I ain't good in comforting a person. She asks me random things, and I always try to answer them as soon as I can.
I did not expect her to really do the same for me, that's for sure. But I don't know why in that exact moment, what has gotten to me that I had the urge to open up to her. I really don't know what's happened to me that time. I shouldn't have.
I've been used to handling things alone, throughout the years, never bothering my friends, even the closest of them, but why did I even try to do that? Only to be met with disappointment. (Face palm).
This was actually hard to forget and shoo away, that I even shared a bit of a rant in my noise.cash account:
So, why am I still talking about it when I really have no best friend.
Because I have one! But He's not a mere human, though. I know you have an idea now of who He is.
Need not say more about how God is the ultimate best friend of mine. I respect your beliefs and your stand on it, and here's MINE.
It's only when I exhale my hardships to God that I feel a soothing kind of peace afterwards. He can give me comfort, the type that can never be replaced by people. God knows surely how to calm a troubled heart. Mine always overthinks, always worries, always full of fears, but whenever I talk to Him, I can breathe better.
God is my safe place. He has never failed me, even I have, many many times.
It's beautiful how God, the Might God who created everything in this world also introduced Himself to us as our friend, as well as our Father. He who rules every single thing considered me as His most beloved, and has always been so faithful in His promise.
I don't know wherever I could have been if not with Him. God helped me overcome hardest of life's problems thrown at me. He accompanied me on sleepless nights, not just in the good times. That's how I see a true best friend.
And wanna know my SECOND best friend? Our pets. Gonna talk about them some other time. ❤️
I agree that even a best friend is human and make mistakes. Misunderstandings come in the way, but at the end of the day, real friends reconcile and get stronger. I wish I have that kind of friendship.
But I guess it's not for me. Some people are meant to find that one best pal, and maybe some are not. Just maybe.. Or is God still sending that person my way? I don't know.
What matters is, I have Him. I am surely im good heart. Thank you, Lord. My best friend.
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To God be the Glory.
Hard truth but yes, at the end of the day, we only have ourselves. Kaya treat yourself better. I am like you. I don't expect anymore. If they come, then good. I know people will always leave but know that you did your best and you have no regrets.