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It's Okay to Not Try so Hard.

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Avatar for Ellehcim
Written by   354
1 year ago
Topics: Song, Daily life, Story, Memory, Ellehcim, ...

10/30/2021


You don't have to try so hard. You don't have to give it all away. You just got to get up, get up.. you don't have to change a single thing.. ¹

Source: Unsplash

As I got older, things evolved over time. Habits changed, new ones came and went. I always tried to see what would suit me. I always tried hard to be satisfied. Why is satisfaction such a hard thing to achieve?

I tried a long hair, also checked out a short one. I preferred the latter one, but at the same time, I still somehow frown when I see how I looked like. I tried many products to lighten my skin tone. There were seasons I got a bad breakout of acnes, and I switched from one product to another. There were times almost half of my allowance got into my skin care routine that changed many, many times. In the end, I never was satisfied with the results.

I also tried on lots of fashion styles. I preferred comfort before appearance. I personally liked lose clothes, long pants, and slippers over closed shoes. I preferred tying my hair to letting it down. I am happy that I get to do the way I wanted things to be. However, there is always a feeling of discomfort, because I was too conscious whether I looked weird, or different.

I don't like to be the center of attention. I liked to just be that person behind the scenes, the observer. But it hurt whenever I feel like I am treated as outcast. It hurt whenever I feel that the people I care about, the people I sacrifice my desire for a "me time" for, does not seem to do the same. I have been used to being the second option in friendship. I have been used to be that one in a group of friends whose birthday is always forgotten. But it still hurts so much, you know.

Being aware that people don't value me how I value them, is such a stab to the core. I am used to this feeling, but that fact does not make it less painful. At the end of the day, I realize the reason. I am not that fun person to be with. I am actually boring, talks less, does not like parties or whatever.

It just sometimes hurts to know I'd stay up for them even I know I still had something to attend to the next morning. I am not good in giving them pieces of advice, but for them, I always work hard. I always try hard.

I tried to be outgoing. Tried my hardest to surpass my limits, to be liked by people. I tried what it's like to have lots of friends like others do. I did things even I did not find them fun at all. I tried my best to enjoy what people consider fun, even I was always anxious of the time.

I did things even I was not comfortable at all. That's what life is, you know. We gotta be uncomfortable at many instances. We gotta try hard to adapt, to be considered one of them. To belong. To feel accepted.

Well, darling let me ask you. Isn't that freaking exhausting? Don't you get sick of the nights you go to bed feeling empty, feeling imprisoned, feeling controlled? As days pass by, you're nothing more than a dying candle that loses its flame gradually. Isn't that just freakin' miserable? To try hard for people to accept you?

It's damn hard, you know. To try to convince myself that if I just do this thing, everything's gonna be fine in the end. That my sufferings will make me gain something. That altering a big part of me will be worth it. Buddy, it's so exhausting to fool myself into thinking I'd be happy to be someone I am not.


Can I tell you something? Can you, even just for a minute, stop trying so hard? Can you spare just a moment to losen up? To just take a deep breath and think things through?

That new make up you bought. Is that because you liked the make up, or is it because you feel that you are "in" when you get that? That clothes you're wearing. Do you wear them because you like them, or just because you don't want people to call you different? You studying hard.. Do you stay up all night, exerting much efforts reviewing due to your dreams, or just because you don't want to disappoint someone?

Do you think it's about time to declare it's enough? To try seeing things according to your perspective and not theirs? I know you always think that. Everyday. Every night. Ever single minute. I know you always do some things secretly because you feel that what you like doing is not acceptable.

I do want to remind you this, do things for you first, before the others. Don't live someone else's dream. Don't conform to what's widely accepted. As long as you know you are not violating the laws, you do your thing. You don't have to try so hard, darling.

It's about time to follow what you want. To do things you enjoy. To have a good rest, and not work too hard to catch up with this hustling world. The hustle never stops. You dont have to keep running after it all the time. You don't have to do it, "just because of them", nor "for them."


It's a song by Colbie Caillat. The title is Try. It's a beautiful song, with a soothing melody, and comforting lyrics. I highly recommend you listening to this song if you haven't yet.

It's sometimes hard to admit that we tend to over-exert ourselves to not feel like an outcast. It is in our nature to want to feel important, to feel like we belong. We want to be accepted, and in order to achieve this, we forget ourselves eventually. Yes, it is true. We can be that person loved by lots of people, and for that to happen, we should please these 'people'. But then again, what is the sense of being accepted by them, when you can no longer recognize your own self anyway?

Somewhere along the way, realize that someone, or some people will accept you for who you are. It must be hard to believe, but there would really be them who will like you for YOU.

Maybe that person has not arrived in my life yet. This thought can be frustrating sometimes, especially when we let ourselves be overwhelmed of the thought that we will never belong unless we camhange ourselves. Changing ourselves for the better is, of course, encouraged, and as long as we do it because we genuinely want to do it.

Seriously, though, the real you is always beautiful. There is actually no need to alter a thing. Our flaws make us different and unique. Our scars prove how strong we are. Our behaviors, manners, character, our identity, they are supposed to be built differently. That is why there are pronouns, YOU and ME. You are different from me. And so ME is to YOU.

Hello, my precious.

A blog sparked by a song that played on Spotify while I am listening to a random playlist. Don't we all try so hard, after all? Be it about our jobs, our relationships, finances, and in absolutely everything?

We all always try so hard, because we want a good result. We don't want to be left behind. We don't want to be out of the circle.

The truth is, we are all in a big, big circle. Our status does not separate us. We are all the same. We are all little humans just trying to leave a mark in this short life. We just want to be significant, forgetting we already are, ever since the world began. We already are declared precious, and we don't really have to prove that to anyone.

Believe me when I say, there is at least one person who looks up at you. You may not know who that person is, but you are someone's role model.

Someone looks at you with ever loving eyes. Someone out there is proud and grateful of your existence. Please, please remember that. XOXO.

-Elle ♥️

Thanks a lot for reading! And also... ehem! Thanks in advance for considering to sponsor me. 😉 I will do my best to not disappoint you.

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Topics: Song, Daily life, Story, Memory, Ellehcim, ...
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Comments

Go to the mirror Elle and look at that person you see. She is awesome, yes you! You are awesome. Be you and make yourself happy first, do things for yourself not for others :)

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Thanks po. 🤧 I needed this. ❤️

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Whenever you feel a bit down, go and do it:)

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I surely will. Thanks for always encouraging me po. :))

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Oh, I love this song sis! The message is spot on and real. It's hard to be a people pleaser, often times frustrating and disappointing.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

It was what we've become. Unless may magpapaalala sa atin na di yun tama. This song has become my fave within a short period of time. <3

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Let's quit trying to be someone else just to be accepted by friends or family. If we try to be someone or try do something let us make sure we do it for ourselves and not to please others. Let us do our thing and let the real ones appreciate and love us for who we are.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's the tea! Spot on, my friend. :)

$ 0.00
1 year ago

This is so me Elle. Trying so hard that it exhaust me at time. And good thing as time goes by, I realized that I cannot please anybody and that it is only myself that can truly appreciate me. And that when I started to take things step by step. That of things that you worked for is meant for you, it will happen.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Beautiful. If it's meant for us, it's for us, no matter what. You are not along in this, Jo. 💜

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You should keep always in mind, the person you need to please in the first place is yourself.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

And most of the times, I forget this. Pleasing everyone is useless if we don't know ourselves.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You don't need to prove to others what they want to prove to you. As long as wala kang tinatapakang tao, Just be yourself and magpaka totoo.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Aww.. tama ka dyan. Salamat sa pagbisita. :)

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Walang anu man ate Elle!

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Aguyyy. ang sweet. ahehehe.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

It's okay not to fit with other people's standard, it's okay to be yourself. Be your own boss that nobody can dictate, except you.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Tama po. Being ourself is the new IN! Differences make this world a more beautiful place.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You can try anything you want as long as it makes you happy ant worth to try. As long as it is for yourself, for your happiness and not other's.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Very well said, Peter. Thank you so much for reading.

$ 0.00
1 year ago