It is tiring but necessary
When I was suspecting the presence of mental illness in me, I knew deep inside that getting diagnosed would open more expenses than I was ready for.
And it did happen. From consultations, to therapy, to lab tests, to medication, the money I worked so hard to save was gone in an instant.
Oh how I wish that I could make money out of thin air. I would never need to worry about anything ever again.
But that is beside the point.
The point is
Today I met up with a psychiatrist after a month of not seeing her. As expected, I would be reminded to continue takin my medication again and to do my best to not stop.
Because of my impulsive decision to stop, I would have to meet with my psychiatrist, regularly again. Regularly means every 2 weeks to monitor my symptoms and how it is affected by Quetiapine.
This means that I would have to spend P1800 every two weeks. Aside from the therapy which aso costs P1800 every two weeks as well.
I do not know what to do
The truth is I had been planning to just make the most out of the free services available to me and taper off from the expensive ones. But I am feeling a bit lost now.
The psychiatrist will start giving me worksheet to work on as we go along our treatment plan. This is the main reason why I feel like I have to go back again.
It feels as though I am between tight spots right now. I either need to let go of therapy or psychiatric consultation.
Well, of course it is not just those two choices available to me but it feels that way right now.
The truth is that I feel like I am not getting my money's worth anymore. I paid P1800 for a 45 minutes session but the session was only about 30 minutes long.
It kinda feel as if those unused time should be refunded to me haha.
I am just a student so P1800 is a huge expense for me. If I would use that for online shopping, I would have a lot of new yarns.
As of now, my money could only afford one more session. The cash I have on hand is not counted since I pay via GCash.
I also have no plans of touching the remaining BCH I have. I am going to be holding my dear BCH for now.
So what will I do now?
First of all, I would like to take it a step at a time only.
I requested a medical certificate to apply for a PWD ID. Hopefully, the application will go smoothly.
Why am I applying for one?
Well, I have a feeling that it will help me out in the future and I am not one to ignore my gut feelings anymore.
Plus, that is a tangible proof of my diagnosis. You know that some people will not take your word for it, they will try to discredit you and aay thatwhat you are feeling is normal, even though it is debilitating to you. I just basically want something that I can hold on to when I feel doubts about whether or not I am just overreacting.
After that, I will have to attend a psychotherapy with a new psychologist. Hopefully, I will have an enjoyable session but if not, then I think I will let go of psychotherapy for now.
I will be making an article about psychotherapy soon if there is anyone interested in getting one but not yet sure if it will be fit for them.
Then, I would need to get a new prescription from NCMH again to get free medications from Malasakit Center.
Basically, I just plan to focus on baby steps for now. There is no use worrying about money right now since aside from BCH, I have no other sources of income unless some coworkers of my sisters will commission me for tons of crochet items.
Closing words
I have taken my medication for tonight so my mind is starting to shutdown so I can sleep. Forgive any mistakes on my article.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
Paanong sakit in mental illness sis? Grabe ang gastos pala. Keep praying lang sis malalagpasan mo din yan.