Unknown Feelings

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Avatar for Ruffa
Written by
3 years ago

I don't know why but, I can't really understand my own feelings sometimes. Just like today, I don't feel anything today. As in my mind and heart is blank. I can't stop my self from sighing but I don't have any thoughts in my mind. I feel like an empty shell today. I'm breathing but I don't know the reason why. I feel like I'm lost but I feel like I'm not. I mean, I'm okay I really am okay. Nothing is wrong with me, I am not thinking if anything, as I've said my mind is empty, I don't have a problem so I don't know why I'm like this again.

I went to the market just this morning, I have my headphone in my ears listening to my favorite music. I am feeling the music and I was just walking aimlessly. My eyes was on the road but if someone will look at me, they will think I'm crazy or blind because I'm looking in front of me without emotion (Oh gosh, I can't concentrate coz my Mama is just blabbing and blabbing about how the price of this one item in shopee changed from 12 pesos to 8 pesos, tsk. So I just walk out on her coz I find it annoying. Ahh, something is really wrong with me for sure. I get annoyed easily today tsk.)

Anyways, as I was saying I was walking and just looking on what's ahead on me, I feel like my soul was so into music and doesn't care about anything. I think i look weird doing it. I am walking slowly, still into music and looking in front like I am not with myself it's like "Nakatitig sa Kawalan" yeah that's it. I know what's happening on my surroundings and I'm aware of what I'm doing. But my mind is just somewhere. Because of that, I suddenly feel lazy to do anything today. I am actually reading article but I stop it. Because I feel like I can't understand what I'm reading, hayss.

I'm like this until now that I'm typing this. I actually don't have the plan to publish article today but then I thought. Why not just write this to release whatever this is. I think I just have to release this through writing. I already tried chatting with my friends but I'm still boredddddee. I just want to be a fish and just float in the ocean. I want to wash away this feeling that I can't name - whatever this is. I want to go the mount Everest and get a plant that I can get on my way. I will plant it into our garden. Wait we don't have a garden, so I will just plant it on my head.

Ughhh, it still there. Seriously guys, I'm telling you I'm not stress. I'm just, I don't know, I can't name it. Do you also have this episode in your life like you feel nothing, as in! Like even if someone fight in front of me I will just ignore them and went on my own way. What do you think? Is this a sign of loneliness? But I love being alone! Or wait, is this what other people are saying, the "Birthday Blues?" But I Don't think so. Maybe it's because my birthday is approaching and my age will add another year again? But I don't really care about my age. Aha, I don't know any more.

But well, for sure this will be gone again tomorrow. I can't even count on my fingers if how many times it happened to me. Nalalampasan ko naman so. Yeah.

Ah wait, I will just share my short post that I share in noise.cash. It was written in Tagalog so, if you like you can read it. And if you don't like it, then walang poreber para sayo!

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Kahit ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo ay nakakadama din ng kalungkutan. Hindi natin alam, baka sila pa nga ang mas madaming pinagdadaanan. Mabigat na problemang pilit nilang binubura sa isipan nila para makapag pasaya ng iba. Hindi masamang maging mahina minsan, alam ng marami yan. Kaso yong iba nagsusuot ng maskara para maitago ang tunay nilang nararamdaman. Takot sila sa mabibigat na salitang maibabato sa kanila. Dahil hindi lahat ng tao ay malakas na kayang magbuhat ng isang milyong salita mula sa mga nagmamalinis na tao. Mga taong ang tingin sa sarili'y perpekto, na akala mo'y may karapatang mang husga ng kapwa nya tao.

At hindi rin natin masisisi ang ilan na itago ang totoong sila, kasi ang iba kapag nakita ang kahinaan nila mas lalo pang tatapakan para mas lalong malugmok sa kalungkutan. Imbes na ibangon mas lalo pang ingungudngud, hihilahin paibaba hanggang sila na ang kusang sumuko. Mamamalayan nalang natin, meron na tayong pinaglalamayan. Yong mga hindi kinakaya ang lahat kaya pagpapakamatay ang tanging alam na solusyon. Sana'y mag isip muna ang ilan bago nila ibuka ang bibig nila. Dahil hindi lahat ng tao ay may malakas na mentalidad. Yong iba hagya nalang lumalaban dahil sa mas malalim pa na dahilan na walang sinomang nakakaalam.

-Parot/Ruffa -08/04/21

[MY ORIGINAL POST]

I type this one without thinking much. I mean, it just suddenly appear? Lol. My fingers just start typing and then voila. It's nothing much, just a nonsense thought.

I'll end it here now.


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August 4, 2021

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3 years ago

Comments

lutang ka baby gerl? or si kwuash na naman di mo lang pinapahalata

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3 years ago

Sino ba kasi po c unknown? Hehehe! Okay lang yan mam maging lutang bastat wag lang aaraw arawin

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3 years ago

Diko ngani alam ahaha. Faceless ee wahahaha

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3 years ago

Awit. Sometimes, I am like that too, Ate. Yung hindi mo alam kung ano bang kulang. Kasi parang ang lungkot na ewan na hindi malaman ang nararamdaman. At ang bilis bilis ko ring mainis sa bagay bagay. Argh. Anyways, maybe kasali talaga sa buhay ng tao iyan, pati ang umasa at masaktan dahil hindi naman magiging kayo kahit pumuti pa ang uwak. Hahaha.

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3 years ago

Unknown feeling, ganyan din ako minsan yung feeling na walang kabuluhan lahat at wala ka talaga sa sarili as in lutang na lutang....

Pero maiba ako, hindi naman naging unknown feelings mo sis sa kanya kung sino man yan haha

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3 years ago

Hahah bakit po ako parang araw araw lutang hahaha🤣😆

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3 years ago

Huhu..I think ako din po ito.. sometimes palipad lipad lang ang isip ko 😅..feeling that can't be determined.

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3 years ago

Ayy ganyan rin po ako last month actually the whole month 😂

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3 years ago

Aigooo unknown feelings pero yung feelings mo para sa kanya knows mo ayeee 🤣

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3 years ago

Shutek, oo nga no ay yawit na yan 🤧 bat naman ganorn 🤧 charingggg wahaha 🙉. Aba'y ang aga mo nagkakalat ng lagim. Haha

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3 years ago

Feeling ko nga birthday blues yan. Ganun daw pag malapit na birthday or on the birthday. Tara magkape na tayo :)

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3 years ago

This is not nonsense but a deep things to think about.

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3 years ago

Baka kelangan mo lang ng iba pang mapagkakaabalahan. You are outgrowing din naman kasi yung current state mo.

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3 years ago

Possibly your life is not pleasing you, I explain better, you are full of frustration, you want to do something but at the same time you know that you can not either by some limit or obstacle, so you act this way, as if you were empty, you need to fill that void, you need to feel useful, you may not be stressed, but when we are depressed about something or someone we tend to act that way, or by someone we tend to act that way, my advice is to look inside you, the reason for that attitude, the reason for that feeling, you have the answer, you just need to see your life from another perspective, I hope everything gets better, I send you a big hug, remember that everything has a solution in this life, greetings

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3 years ago

Don't overthink, Ate Ruffa. I think it's quite normal to be so melancholic sometimes. I'm experiencing that most of the time actually but it's not that I'm stressed or depressed. It's a phase of mood swings. Just let it be and chill, it will be gone for quite a while.

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3 years ago

Yeah, ayos naman na ako now. Nabaliw lamg talaga ako kahapon na nawalan biglanng pakiramdam. Parang robot baga aguyy

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3 years ago

Hahaha, parang absent-minded ka kumbaga. Ganun din ako, wala sa pokus. Minsan nga may tumatawag na sakin sa harapan ko, di ko pa nakikita eh.

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3 years ago

May bagay na gusto kang gawin madam na hndi mo magawa2.. Minsan nagiging ganyan ako. Lutang ang isip..

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3 years ago

3hh, kaya. Parang frustrated ganorn. Hmm

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3 years ago

Ruffa I don't understand the comments below from your other readers, so if they say what I say here let me know.

Empty feeling in your mind and having no thoughts is actually very common. A lot of things can cause this. The most common ones are: anxiety and depression, too much media, too much social media (no joke), feeling you don't have a purpose.

Just google these keywords: "empty feelings empty thoughts" for info.

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3 years ago

I don't know, I don't have anything in my mind yesterday actually. It's empty as in. And I was so bored that all I did was chat those anyone I know 🙉

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3 years ago

We are human beings with diverse moments and feelings. It is not a matter of questioning anyone. We are the way we are and it is good to write it down because this way you can release a great weight from your body and mind when you write. Not every day is blue, there are dark days and that's not why we will stop living it.

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3 years ago

Hayyys ate! Ako naman, there's a lot going in my head na hindi ko alam kung ano. Ang gulo! One minute, I'm okay. Next minute, I'm not. Tas in the middle of working, maiiyak ako na di ko alam. Yung okay naman, pero parang hindi? Ganyan din ako, I always wear my earphone and do not mind what's happening around me. Gusto kong malamon ng musika, para at least makalimutan ko saglit lahat ng naiisip ko, na hindi ko alam kung ano.

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3 years ago

Ganyan na ganyan ako minsan yung okay ka pero maya maya bigla bugla nalang malulumbay. Pero u g kahapon talaga ee iba ee. Diko talaga maipaliwanag. Basta ang gulo diba. Aguyy

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3 years ago

Kaya nga! Sobrang gulo, mas magulo pa sa pubic hair na sinabi mo. 🥴🤣😅 Pero yun nga, kahit magulo tuloy pa din ang laban. Laban Alaxan FR.

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3 years ago

Napakagaling ! 👏 Kaya idol na idol kita ate ❤️

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3 years ago

Hahaha, salamatsuuu ng malupet oi

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3 years ago

walang anuman 🤗☺️

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3 years ago

Ako din atee rufffaaa. This past few days apaka empty ng feeling ko and di ko din maintindhan yung sarili ko. Huhu

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3 years ago

Buti aki minsan lang makasaranas ng ganito. Sayo ba nadadala sa music? Sakin yan lang ginagawa ko ee. Kaso di sya effective kahapon aguy

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3 years ago

Minsan mo effective yung music pero minsan hindi rin.

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3 years ago

Same. Minsan ganyan din ang pakiramdam ko. Yun bang you feel empty for no reason, you feel empty inside pero di ka naman gutom haha. Tapos madalas nakakatamad rin gumawa ng kahit ano, yung gusto mo lang tumunganga buong araw. Siguro dahil wala ayong lablayp hahahahha

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User's avatar sc
3 years ago

Bwahahaha, need naba natin maghanap? Kaso wala din ako sa mood mag hanap ee. Tingin ko sagabal lang sila sa oag yaman ko. Wahahahaha fling fling lang. Wahahaha

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3 years ago

Hahahaha pati paghanap ng lablayp nakakatamad na rin talaga eh haha

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User's avatar sc
3 years ago

Yes sis Ruffa totoo yan. Hindi natin masasabi na kung masaya ang tao ay walang problema kundi nagsusuot lamang ito ng maskara. Naranasan ko rin yung ganito na kahit ang lungkot2 mo ipapakita mo parin sa ibang tao lalo na sa mga minamahal mo na okay ka kasi ayaw mo na maging malungkot din sila..

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3 years ago

Diba diba, ung iba ang galing magtago. Nay iniinda na palang sakit, yong mga isipin nilang maaaring maging depression

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3 years ago

Yes severe depression ..Huhu minsan nakakaranas talaga ng ganito sis Ruffa...

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3 years ago

Nakaranas din ako Ng ganyang point ruff kaya I feel you. Cgeh Lang mawawala din Yan.

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3 years ago

Ajya nga, ayos na ulit ako ngayon ee. Balik na ss normal na loka loka. Wahahahaya

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3 years ago

Hays buti Naman Kong ganun.. Hindi Kasi ako sanay na ganun ka sis 😁😁 parang di ikaw 😅

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3 years ago

So eto pla ang reason bakit parang abnormal ka ngayon, hehe.. Di kaya hormonal imbalance yan madams?malapit na ba monthly period mo? Or sadyang bagot ka lang..

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3 years ago

Madammmmm, malapit na ata regla ko wahahahaha. Kasi Pano, lumilitaw na pimpolss ko ahaha

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3 years ago

Awsusa, kaya pala abnormal ka hahahaha

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3 years ago

how the price of this one item in shopee changed from 12 pesos to 8 pesos, tsk.

If something changes from 12 pesos to 8 pesos, isn't that a good thing? I mean based on foodstuffs not Crypto though... Lol

And, yes, I have been feeling the same way since morning. And I can't place a finger on the reason behind this feeling

Writing eludes me too, I decided to stay and read people's posts, and see if I'll be motivated.

You aren't the first sharing how you feel about today, I read someone's post about it a few minutes ago

I guess this is just how today is for everyone

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3 years ago

Wahhh, Omooo I put it wrong it should be from 8 to 12php 🙉😂.

A lot can really relate to this. We all have this episode in our life were we feel demotivated.

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3 years ago

minsan naman talaga dumadaan yung sobrang empty ng pakiramdam natin kahit wala tayong problema pero normal lang ata talaga yun... so ngiti ka lang at lilipas din yan

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3 years ago

Kaya nga no, pero ung sakin di agad nawala. Nakakapanibago ngs ee. Mahaba habang time angbaking kahibangan, cheret haha.

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3 years ago

Sometimes din naeexperience ko yung ganyang pakiramdam and that's completely normal. Yung tipong parang wala kang ganang gawin lahat ng bagay sa episode ng buhay na parang lutang ka lang at blanko ang pagiisip mo. Just rest lang talaga, pinakamabisang medicine

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3 years ago

Kaya nga ee, ung gusto mong maging maganda ang araw mo kaso empty ka talaga sa emotion tapos walang gana tsk

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3 years ago

Sobrang understandable at valid yang nararamdaman mo ate :)). Minsan may nga episodes talaga na parang wala tayong ganang gawin. Rest ka lang po :))

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3 years ago

Walang gana pero naka gawa ng artikol Clipuuuuuuu. Ewan ko lang sa abnormal self ko ha. Haha

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3 years ago

Sis I know your not okay right now pero baka malapit ka ng datnan? kahirap pa naman ng ganyang feeling. Yung okay naman lahat sa paligid mo pero yung feeling mo hindi. Sana bukas mas okay kana :)

yung post mo sa noise di ko na nakita kung di mo isinama dito. tama ka sis karamihan mas pinipiling mgsuot ng maskara to avoid being judged. I hope talaga na ang mga tao matuto at magbago na

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3 years ago

I'm okay sis, pero may blankong pakiramdam lang talaga ako. Ans yes, wari ko'y magkakaroon na nga ako. Nagkaka pimples na ako ee aguyy. For sure yan na nga yan tskk.

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3 years ago

that explains your feeling and mood sis. hehe

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3 years ago

Okay lang makaramdam ng ganyan paminsan minsan beb. It just show how vulnerable our feelings are na minsan hindi natin alam kung anong nararamdaman natin. I would always feel the same thing a few days on my birthday. It, too,shall pass trust me 😉😉

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3 years ago

Sana nga sis, Ayaw ko din ng ganitong feeling ee. Diko maipaliwanag ba, tsk.

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3 years ago

May ganun talaga, may ganyan din akong episode sa buhay ko na Di naman ako malungkot pero wala lang, tamad lang or basta wala lang, walang energy lang.

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3 years ago

Halos lahat pala tayo no. Yong ang dami mong plan na gagawim dapat ee tapos tsk. Ewan, nawalan na ako ng gana talaga

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3 years ago

Katulad ngayon wala ako gana sis... Hayaan lang daw natin, babalik din daw tayo sa dati

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3 years ago

May times din na ganito ako 😅 yun bang walang laman ang katawang lupa mo na naglalakbay ang isipan mo sa iabng dimensiyon na di mawari kung ano ang nais na madama ng iyong pandama.

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3 years ago

Hahaha, akala ko ako lang. Naliligaw din minsan ang kaluluwa ng tao ano. Tsk

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3 years ago

Okay lamg ba kayo ngayon? Ganyan talaga minsan ate e. KAhit chil bigla kalanb malulungkot at mamomroblema sa di malamang dahilan, tapos tutulala saka magiisip ng ganito ganyan. HAyahay buhay

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3 years ago

Okay naman na ata ako ngayon ahaha. Mejo malinaw na kautakan ko haha.

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3 years ago

May mga time na ganyan din ako. Yung kahit wala ka namang problema pero parang wala ka sa sarili mo.😁 Minsan nga nakatitig lang ako sa labas tapos kapag tinatanong ako ng partner ko kung may problema ba, I'll just answer wala. Eh wala naman talaga.😅 Kaya don't worry, hindi ka nag-iisa.😁

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3 years ago

Hahaha yan ganyan na ganyan ako. Tapoa naka busangot pa ang mukha ko. Ee wala naman akong iniisip talaga. Trip ko lang mangunot noo. Ahahaha

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3 years ago

Hahaha, me too. Yan din palagi nirereklamo ng partner ko. Yung nakakunot and noo tapos magkatagpo ang kilay.😅😅

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3 years ago

They say the happiest person in the world had the most biggest problem and suffering from extreme stress and depression. People who makes other laugh can act like they have no problems but the truth is the pain inside their heart is too much to the point that they don't know how to express it because people knew him or her as a happy person and people's perspective will change once he or she will express the pain.

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3 years ago

Kaya nga ee, di nila alam mas marami pang kinakaharap na problema ang ilan sa magaling magpatawa. At dinadaan nalang sa pagjojoke ang lahat.

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3 years ago

Haha, don't worry you're not alone. Some days I can be one and when I was working years ago I'm always warn not to cross the roads kasi tumtawid Malaga along derederecho kasi wala ako sa wisyo. Minsan wala din akong pakiramdam, blanko isip. Yung parang tanga lang. 🤣

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3 years ago

Ahahahaha, parang ang weird natin pag ganon ano. Ung wala na sa sarili aguyy. Di naman loka ee pero basta, ang gulo ng ganito. Hyper, peri tinatamad tapos wala gana na ewan. Ang gulo gulo gulo.

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3 years ago