@Fyangzee24

@Fyangzee24 1 April 2026

Hello! It's been a while. I have gone for 3 years, I think? Any updates in tis platform? Would love to hear from my old friends here.

@Fyangzee24 2 June 2022

To my Bestfriend Hi Mai, To be honest, I never expected our friendship nor could I see how we would grow and learn from each other. So I just want to say thank you for being your wonderful and amazing self. Thank you for deciding to join me on this crazy journey we call life. And most importantly thank you so much for opening yourself up to me and allowing me to be a part of your life. I really can’t imagine my life without you. Sometimes it’s hard to think that there was a time when you were not this prominent in my life. It’s crazy to think how drastically life can change within a few months. If we look back to our elementary years, what were we to each other? Acquaintances. I knew you and you knew me. We had tons of mutual friends, but we never hung out. We simply act like strangers to each other since we're not close in passing on campus. Let’s fast forward to high school. You started your first year in another province and the moment you came back there was an instant connection between us. It was something I never really felt towards any other friendship. Anyone can see how kind, caring, and good-hearted you are. But in regards to our relationship, it was natural and wasn’t forced. I felt completely safe with you. I trusted you, which is something that is not very easy for me to do. Given my history of friends walking in and out of my life constantly, I typically keep my guard up. However, with you it was different and I had no guard for you to break down. Now if we come back to the present, I really can’t see my life without you. We spend a lot of time together. Like to the point where we say the same thing at the same time. It’s annoying sometimes. We have even picked up some of each other’s habits or sayings. Then there are times when we hang out and just sit there in silence. I love that we are so comfortable being in the same space without having to use any words. We’ve even gone on some really fun adventures together and made memories to last a lifetime. And I know how I always say I wish you came into my life sooner, but now that I think about it, you came at the perfect time. I truly believe that God puts people in your life for a reason and at just the right time. You came when I needed you the most. I was going through a difficult time in my life and didn’t have anyone to turn to. But you were there and welcomed me in with open arms. You have always been there whenever I needed someone to talk to. You give me advice when I need it. Your support and belief in me in everything I do. You let me rant and complain when something or someone is bothering me. You even just sit in silence with me when I can’t form any words. You’ve seen me at my best and my worst. You’ve seen me happy and you’ve seen me equally as mad. You’ve seen me laugh till I’m crying and then you’ve seen me upset and crying, which is a side of me I never show anyone. You always tell me your honest opinion. And most importantly, you always tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear. And even though that usually results in me saying “I hate you”, you know very well that I mean the exact opposite. Because let’s face it I could never hate you. I just hate that in those moments you are always right and the fact that I know it too. So in the end, I just want to thank you once again for being an incredible friend. You know what, make that best friend. And I don’t use that word lightly given my past. You were such a blessing when you came into my life. I have learned and grown so much since I met you. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for everything you have done for me. I just hope you know how much I love you and appreciate our friendship. I look forward to our future adventures and the memories we will make. And no matter where life takes us, I will always be here for you like you have been there for me. I love you so much boo. Much love from your best friend, Fyangzee ♥

@Fyangzee24 1 June 2022

Cheat me not There are so many people in today’s day and age that wind up having to face the acute pain that comes with being cheated on. They are frustrated, heartbroken, and confused about why something so terrible happened to them if there were any indicators that they should have taken note of before it happened, and if there’s anything to do to save their relationship now or prevent it from happening to them again in the future. When you are faced with something like this, it’s perfectly normal that you would start to feel very vulnerable and experience waves of self-doubt. When someone’s cheated on by their partner, they’re often left to ask, why? How could someone they trusted and loved - and who they thought loved them back – betray them in such a shocking and hurtful way? There’s usually not only a sense of anger and upset, but also total disbelief. The reasons people cheat are varied, but there is a number that crop up time and again in the counseling room. If you’re currently struggling to understand why this has happened to you, you may find it useful to think about some of the following. Disconnection One of the most common reasons for infidelity is the feeling that you and your partner have drifted apart. In this case, cheating can feel like a way of finding something new and exciting when your relationship has become predictable and familiar. A sense of disconnection from one’s partner can happen for a variety of reasons. There may be a lack of proper communication in the relationship (talking about specific issues or just generally keeping in touch about how you feel). Or life may have become dominated by work or looking after kids, so time together has become more functional than loving. Feeling unloved We often use the term ‘love languages’ to describe how people express affection to one another. Some partners communicate more verbally by saying nice things, whereas others might prefer to express affection physically by cuddling or kissing. If your love language is different from your partners, that can leave you feeling unloved – and potentially more open to the affections of someone who seems to understand you better. Imbalance If there’s a lack of balance in a relationship, one partner can begin to feel a bit like a parent and the other like a child. For example, one partner may feel like they have to be the responsible one, making all the decisions, organizing the home, managing the finances, and so on, while their partner doesn’t pull their weight. An affair might then be tempting to feel appreciated and equal. Equally, the partner in the ‘child’ position may feel criticized and as if nothing they do seems to be enough, meaning an affair might feel like a way of reclaiming some sense of freedom and superiority. Scared to commit Sometimes, affairs occur at times when you might assume people would be the most secure in their relationship, such as after getting engaged or when someone is pregnant. But worries about over-commitment can be very destabilizing. Sometimes, people can sabotage what they have, intentionally or unconsciously, as a way of dismissing feelings of responsibility. Insecurity Affairs can also arise from personal insecurities. Low self-esteem can cause people to be very dependent on the attention of others—and in some cases, the attention of just one person isn’t enough. It may also cause someone to feel insecure in their relationship, so much so that they might cheat as a way of rejecting rather than being rejected. So, why do people cheat in a relationship? It could be any of those and there could be other reasons for infidelity. Let's guard our hearts. Never settle for the bare minimum :)

@Fyangzee24 31 May 2022

Highschool Thug Life It is for sure most of us had a very memorable and interesting high school life. Many have said that High school is the best 4 years of their lives (for the old curriculum peeps). I am one of those people who believe in that. Here is a tick-off activity on Pinterest to check how thug you are in high school. **Always late** The distance from my parents’ house to the school is just very close. There is no reason for me to be late. Even if I wake up at the warning bell of the school, I can still make it on time and join the flag ceremony, well with my messy wet hair. **Bringing cellphone other gadgets that are restricted** I am part of the student body, but I am guilty of this. We prohibit bringing gadgets at school, but I bring them secretly and even use them during class hours whenever I get bored. I use my phone for reading ebooks. I remembered how addicted I am and also my friends reading ebooks. Wattpad was not yet known during that time. But, I was never caught because I am very much careful not to get noticed using gadgets on the school premises. **Playing cards during class hours** I have never been interested in such games. So skip. **Eating during class hours** So, I always have in my bag, marshmallows and jelly ace. My teachers were not that strict about eating for as long as you can focus on the discussion and don’t disturb others in the class. **Forged my parent’s signature** If only my parents sued me, I’ve been going in and out of the jail for doing it numerous times. Especially, if it's something urgent and I can’t wait for them to come home. **Going to the restroom with friends** The funny thing is, we will ask permission to go out to the washroom but when we got there, we will do nothing but talk random things and we'll just get back to the room when someone comes in hahaha. **Your name under the noisy list**  Nope. I am the one who lists my noisy classmates hahaha. I am not that noisy inside the class. I was even given a meritorious award every March for being behave in the class. **Copied my classmate's answer in an exam** In high school, we give and take. We share everything. May it be food, answers to assignments, or problems. But, in examinations, we do not copy each other. We help each other in studying and reviewing instead. **Been suspended for 3 days or more** Never been suspended and none of my classmates had ever been suspended. We are all good role models for the lower years. **Cutting/skipping a class** I wish I had experienced that but no hahaha. My mama can see me if I go out of school during class hours. I can only skip classes if something goes wrong with my health or monthly visits. **Always borrow a pen in class** I only borrow a pen if I cannot find mine inside my bag but most of the time, I am the one they always run to when they need to borrow a pen. I had a pencil case that is full of different colors and brands of pens. Some are not even working, I only declutter my bag after every quarter. **Skipped Prom** We didn't have a prom night but we had senior's ball when I was in my 4th year in high school. I attended because I am an officer and we are in charge of most of the things that are in the event even the restoration. I still enjoyed it though. **Argue/fight with my classmate** This one cannot be denied. I had a few arguments and small fights with my classmates but, it doesn't last for long. The funny thing is, no matter how angry we were during the argument, the next day feels like nothing happen and when we talk about it again we just laugh at ourselves and tried to figure things out and look for a solution to the problem. How about you? Why don't you go back and reminisce about the times when you were in high school? For sure, you will be smiling while answering like me, because you remembered the good old times :)

@Fyangzee24 30 May 2022

Because some people are not happy of your self-love Some people get mad when you start loving yourself more because now you say no a lot more than yes. Now you use your voice and say things they’re not used to hearing from you. Now you know your worth and you don’t settle for the bits and pieces you used to settle for when you were still healing and figuring yourself out. Now you’re more aware of who wants to take advantage of you and who is lying and who is trying to trick you. Now you protect yourself even if it means letting others down. Some people get mad because they miss the old version of you. The one they liked and got used to. The one they could easily manipulate because they knew that you would always be there, you would always put their needs above your own and they knew that you would always choose them over yourself. Now you keep choosing yourself and putting yourself first and it’s not serving them anymore. Now you don’t care if they abandon you or leave you or stop hanging out with you because you’re finally loving your own company and realizing that you’re perfectly fine without some people’s love and approval. Now you’re focusing on yourself and making things happen and it’s pissing some people off. And it’s not always out of any ill will or bad intentions but that one friend liked it when you would accommodate them whenever they needed you at their convenience and you never said a word. That ex liked the fact you were still hung up on them even after all the hurt they’ve caused you. That one boss liked it when they would belittle you so they could take all the credit because they knew you wouldn’t complain. That one family member liked it when they would blame you for all their failures and clear themselves from all their wrongdoings. It’s simple, people don’t like it when you see through their lies and manipulations. People don’t like it when you used to let things go but now you speak up. People don’t like it when you used to make them feel good about themselves but now you call them out and people don’t like it when you treat them the same way they treat you. Some people get mad when you start loving yourself more because it means that you will no longer let things slide or be available to their disrespect or tolerate their behavior, and these are the exact people who made you question your self-worth and made you feel like you don’t deserve more. They would always pull you back into their web whenever you tried to break free but nothing feels better than releasing yourself from this web and their judgments. Nothing feels better than betting on yourself and winning. Nothing feels better than looking these people in the eye and they no longer get to you, they no longer intimidate you, they no longer have a soft spot, and they’re no longer on a pedestal. Nothing feels better than putting people back in their place and putting yourself first instead.

@Fyangzee24 29 May 2022

Sometimes Love isn't romantic at all Movies and books have painted a specific version of love. Love is when the prince charming wakes up the sleeping princess through a true love’s kiss. Love is when the world stops spinning and the birds start singing whenever your eyes meet. Love is when he fights dragons, moves mountains, and crosses oceans for you. Love is when he turns his back from all his money and riches and chooses to be with you for eternity. Sure, love can be beautiful, desirable, and flashy. But there’s more to love than any of that. Love doesn’t have to be as obvious or romantic for it to be real. Some of the purest forms of love are not even romantic at all. Love is when your mother first realized she was pregnant with you and decided from that moment to always be on your side no matter what. Love is how your father defends you from anything that may harm you—sometimes that means protecting you even from yourself. Love is how your sister supports you and believes in you with all her heart. Love is when your little brother willingly shares his precious chocolates when you’re having one of your days. Love is when your grandmother saves food for you when you come home late because she knows you will be hungry. Love is when your grandfather builds you a dollhouse using old weathered wood as it is the only material he has available, which turned out to be the best dollhouse in the world. Love is when your teacher goes out of their way to train you, educate you, and impart wisdom far more than what was compelled in the curriculum. Love is when your friends remember your birthday and throw you a surprise party, considering all your favorites. Love is keeping the details about the movie or book your best friend likes. Love is waiting for your friends for hours because you miss them so much and just want to spend the day with them. Love is when a stranger offers to pay for your bill when you forgot your wallet. Love is when a CEO shows the same respect to a janitor as the respect he shows to investors. Love is when your boss decides to provide his loyal employees with a retirement plan, even if that means giving money from his pocket. Love is having at least one person in the world who will pick up your call in the middle of the night, listen to you blabber about your nightmare, and calm you down until you fall asleep. Most of all, love is when God gave up His son to save you. How He paints the sky with the most beautiful colors, especially when you’re having a bad day. How He always ensures to put people in your life exactly where and when you need them most. How He blesses you, rectifies you, and redirects your path. Love is having the assurance that no matter what happens, you will be alright, as you are surrounded by those who love you most. Honey, love doesn’t have to be showy or cheesy. Love doesn’t have to be sentimental or cliché. Love doesn’t have to be intense or intimate. It just has to be real. The world is full of love. We just need to open our hearts to see it. Blessed Sunday 💖

@Fyangzee24 27 May 2022

I left my boyfriend... It starts with a look. You meet eyes with someone and before you know it that light that has been gone for so long becomes ignited. Or maybe it’s a compliment made by a stranger in the line at Starbucks. A compliment was as simple as, “You have beautiful eyes,” but one he hasn’t said to you in over six months. Or perhaps a text from an ex-boyfriend reminding you that you haven’t always felt worthless in a relationship. So, you entertain these situations and realize you aren’t happy here anymore. You aren’t happy with him anymore. You are tired of playing the role of a woman you never signed up for, with a man who turned out to be the opposite of who he displayed on your first date. For me, leaving my ex-boyfriend didn’t start with a late-night Instagram DM, it wasn’t a night out with too many drinks where the flirty words had an open door to come rushing out, it WAS a look, but not with another man. It was a look in the mirror. My once bright eyes were raw from many nights of crying myself to sleep in the realization of another day I was wasting with the wrong person. Tears of fear, but also tears of anguish as I truly did want to make it work. My thick red-dyed curly hair was falling out in handfuls, and on the rare days I had enough energy to wash it, it lived in a messy bun. My clothes didn’t fit like they used to, and I retired my skinny jeans for sweats since they were more forgiving of the ten pounds I managed to put on. I had been living like this for over six months, but on a cold morning in January, I decided to leave my boyfriend. My boyfriend with whom I shared a home, a 9-month-old puppy, and finances. I left him for someone else… ME. In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags that I managed to ignore in my relationship with him. A couple of months into our relationship, I was already moved in, we had bought a puppy together, and felt like my days solely depended on his schedule. What most people would see considering the fast pace as, “Well when you know you know,” was him working in a manipulative and controlling way that would take me almost a year to see. What started as a few degrading comments, in the beginning, turned into him tracking my phone and social media, accusing me I was cheating on him when I was at the grocery store, to inevitably being thrown across our bedroom because of a post on Instagram I was tagged in. Many of my days were spent in an ongoing abusive cycle of, “I’m so sorry babe, I’ll never do it again,” to getting pushed out of a moving truck because we ran into a guy I dated before him at a local bar. After Christmas of 2021, after nine months with him, I was reading Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle and it was the catalyst that made me pick up my life and move back home to my parents. Some women get sidetracked by other men who feed something in their hearts, that their significant other has stomped on. Sometimes it’s the extra compliments you get that haunt you while you’re being called names by the man you’re making dinner for. And other times, like with the help of Glennon’s book, you realize that you, as a woman, were created as a WARRIOR. Leaving him for no one but myself was the first step in my healing process. There is no one more valuable in your life than yourself to remind you of your worth. Breakups can happen because you miss someone else, and for me, I did miss someone else immensely every day. And that person was me. I missed the woman I was before he turned my strength into a weakness. I missed what living, and not existing in fear felt like. And most of all, I missed the little girl inside of me that I failed to protect. What we as women need to understand and accept is that it is OKAY to want your happiness. It is okay to put yourself first, to care for yourself the most, and to do what’s beneficial and healthy for you. It is okay to leave an abusive or not abusive relationship to better yourself. It is not only okay but mandatory. I want to share a quote that rings true for me every day. “You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, and you are not a shiny toy. You’re human and have the right to say, ‘Let me feed that back to you, tell me, how does it taste?’ You have the right to protest your mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it’s yours.” I am learning that there is power inexperience. Power to learn, power to grow, and power to share. The power that comes from the experience isn’t always grand. Because no matter how big or small the experience, power is never measured. When I picked up my car that cold day in January and loaded my puppy in the front seat, the empowerment I felt was unmeasurable. *Disclaimer:* *I have a very healthy relationship. It's all only for content mwehehehe... I'm happy with my person 😊* Lead image from Google.

@Fyangzee24 27 May 2022

To the People who have hurt You This letter needs no specification of a sender or receiver. It is not from me or you. It could be from anyone. It is not to any one person, but rather to many people. It is to and from every one of our hearts. Dear human being, I want to write to you so I can let you know that you have let me down. I could write the words over and over again, but I realize it changes nothing. I could scream it at the top of my lungs and let the world know how you have hurt me, but the past will not hear me or pay me any mind. I could hate you. I could keep that hatred for you deep inside of me and let it hide there safely as a reminder of the pain you brought me. But I am the only one who knows that it exists and lets it eat away at my heart, so why create it? I was your friend. I was your family. I was your lover. You are a person that could have been any number of things to me. Heartbreak plays no favorites when it chooses people in life to let you down. I always had faith in you. I trusted you and the promises that you made to me. I believed in your aspirations and disregarded your ambiguity. I let you in, against my best wishes. I relentlessly defended you. I saw the beautiful parts of who you were. I made plans with you and kept them in my head like a guaranteed magnificent destination. I loved you. I gave you all that I had and now I am left feeling empty and cheated. But do you know what the strangest and most unbelievably frustrating part of all of this is? I forgive you. You and I are different people, but in the end, we are the same. We are only human. As humans, we let each other down. We promise love before we know what it really means. We abuse trust. We break hearts. We make mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes as well. I’m sure I have hurt you too. I know there are parts of you that I will never truly understand and therefore cannot fit into the small boxes of reasoning that I have tried to place around these complex situations. I know that there was a reason why I believed in you, and therefore there is a reason why I still want the absolute best for you. Friendship, family, and relationships seem so well defined with their expectations, but very rarely are all of those expectations going to be met. That is the chance you take in believing in people. In the end, loving each other only teaches us about love, as a separate and beautiful entity that is unparalleled to anything else in this world. You could be a lover, friend, parent, child, or borderline stranger. Whoever you are, I want you to know that you have hurt me, but I forgive you. I don’t forgive you because it makes me feel like a good person. I don’t forgive you because I don’t want to deal with the recognition of your actions. I don’t forgive you because I have forgotten. On the contrary, I forgive you because I remember. I remember that you are a human and humans teach each other in both positive and negative ways. I remember that you brought me memories and emotions that made me feel alive. I remember that if you were worth my trust and love, you are worth my forgiveness and I am worth the relief of being able to let go. I know I am strong and alive, and free to experience all depths of love and loss. I am blessed for the moments that I have and the moments that I have lost. You are a piece of me, and that piece will not eat away at my soul as hatred would. It will live inside of me in a place that is preserved by forgiveness, happiness, and humility. And for that, I will be a better person going forward. P.S. Forgiveness will make the future kinder to both of us. Sincerely, Another human being. Lead image from Google.

@Fyangzee24 24 May 2022

How's it like dating an MIU Hello everyone, before I will start, I wanted to apologize for being so inactive. I have been so busy at work, I seldom give interactions with other members here. Hopefully, when my time loosens I'll make sure to cope with you all. In the internet slang, chat texting, and subculture, MIU stands for MEN IN UNIFORM. Policemen, Firemen, Soldiers, Coast guards, etc., belong to this group. We are all aware that most of their job involves public servicing. They could be away from their families, they experienced massive training, and their work requires their time most of the time. So, it's been a month since I started dating my elementary and high school classmate who is now working as a police trainee in our hometown. I have been confused in so many ways but I was able to adjust slowly. Understanding and Trusting your MIU partner is needed for the relationship to work out. DELAYED UPDATES There are times when suddenly he goes out MIA. Like, For one second, you were just talking and after that, your message was left unreplied. It will take minutes or hours before it will be replied to and give you the reason for the sudden absence. When he first did that to me, I started to overthink, I thought that he already changed, that he had found someone or something that is not boring. But, I learned that they are on-call as always. They need to be snappy at all times that's why as soon as they heard their call of duty, instead of sending a message, they will proceed to their obligation. FALLS ASLEEP FIRST This happens most of the time. The only time we could talk to each other longer is only during at night. We text each other during the daytime but not totally because both of us are at work. We do video calls and phone calls. Every time we do that, after an hour, he is already asleep. I will just watch him sleeping on the screen or listen to his silent snores when we do phone calls. But, I don't think of it as he is bored with me that's why he gets to sleep when we talk. Instead, he finds comfort and rests with me while talking after a long day at work. In the morning, I'll receive a series of messages from him, apologizing for leaving me on the line. There's no reason for me to get mad, because, in the first place, I know how heavy their job is, especially since he is still a trainee. I understand it very much that I always tell him not to apologize when he falls asleep when we call each other because I understand it very well. IGNORES ME WHEN I'M MAD There was this thing that happened that we had an argument over the chat, and it doesn't take that long because he ended our conversation telling me that he needs to log out to give me space and he'll just wait for me to contact him when I am calmed already. He doesn't tolerate my childish and petty actions which is one of the things I love about him. At first, I thought he was acting like he really doesn't care about my feelings, but he told me that he wanted me to give myself space so we both prevent adding more tension to the situation. Those are just some of the things I have observed dating him. I only hope and pray that he will not change. Get yourself a person that never gives you a reason to doubt, to get jealous, and gives you the assurance that you are the only one for them. Someone who gives updates even when not asked. We should not settle for the bare minimum, in balance to that we should become worth more than the bare minimum and be deserving of the additional comforts.

@Fyangzee24 22 May 2022

Being single for a long time is not a bad thing I am NOT going to try and make you feel good in a superficial way about being single …but going to show you why being single for a long time is a genuine positive that can (and should) be taken advantage of. While being single for a long time is generally thought of as a negative (and it can certainly feel that way when your friends are getting hooked up and getting married) …being single can actually be a very positive thing in several different ways. And you must be aware of these positives so that you can take full advantage of them. Let’s now look at what these are… Some (or all) of the following may apply to you. Distressing the ones which don’t, you should try to take advantage of them now in your condition if you have been single for an expansive period: 1. You’ve Got Your Priorities Straight. Too many people enter relationships just for the sake of “being with someone”. They want someone for valentines day, or to go to parties or weddings with. Very often then, for one reason or another, they find they can’t leave that relationship and end up marrying that person – someone who they never really loved in the first place. Being single for a long time is a sign you are not going to sacrifice short-time pleasure (i.e. having someone on valentines day just for the sake of it) over someone you really want to be with. It’s a sign you are someone who has their priorities straight. You are putting finding the RIGHT partner …ahead of superficial things like having a date for the next wedding you attend just for the sake of having a date. 2. Past Relationships Have Time To Fade Away. Past relationship baggage can affect a person's mentality to the point where it often damages the next relationship they enter. I once had a girlfriend who started dating me 2 weeks after breaking up with her boyfriend of 5 years. It was obvious she hadn’t got over him and was needy and clingy to the point where I ended the relationship after only 10 days. The longer the time between a relationship that has just ended (and that has affected you badly) and a new one, the more likely it is that old baggage will be left firmly in the past where it belongs. The longer you have been single and less in need of jumping into a relationship (any relationship) is a good indicator that any old relationship that may have affected you …has begun to wear off you and you are no longer as bothered by it as you once were. 3. You’ll Find Yourself. Very often we hear of people taking a year out to “find themselves” where they take a career break or travel around the world. Finding yourself like this is an important thing to do, as modern society is often trying to brainwash us into being something and someone else other than whom we are. What is not so well known is that being single for a long time is an even more effective way to find yourself than taking a year out like this. When we are in a relationship, our partners' interests and personalities influence us in ways we don’t realize. It is only when you are single for a long time that you find out how you like to do things, what your real interests are and what you don’t want in your life. Knowing these things will mean you have a clearer idea of what you do and don’t want in a future life partner …meaning you will be more likely to pick a future life partner who is more suitable for you. 4. You’ll Be A Less Codependent Person. If you’ve been single for a long time, you’ll be skilled at being independent. This means you’re well used to doing things by yourself at this stage. This is a positive thing that will make your next relationship healthier. It means you won’t be relying on your partner for every single thing you do. Your next partner will be thankful for this even if they don’t realize it. People who are too dependent on their partners are not fun people to be in relationships with …making their chances of being dumped significantly higher than would otherwise be the case. 5. Being Mentally Ready Increases Success. Let’s face it – you want the next relationship you enter to be the one that leads to marriage and kids. Am I right? So you will want to be as mentally and emotionally prepared before you enter it so that you not only pick the right person (as opposed to just any person) but are also prepared for all the highs and lows that naturally come along with all relationships. Preparation like this though …takes time. Being single for a long time can allow you to prepare mentally like this by finding out what you really want and need in your next relationship …as opposed to simply getting into a relationship because everyone else around you is in one. The reality is these other people might be in relationships that are not right for them, and they don’t realize it yet. So don’t fall into the trap of being jealous of them! When is being single for a long time a bad thing? In short, if you haven’t been taking advantage of the above, then the time you spend single might be going to waste. For example, about co-dependency, have you been learning to do things and make decisions by yourself? …Or do you rely on friends or family too much for these things? If so, when you enter a relationship you might simply transfer your dependency on your friends and family straight onto your new partner …and that would not make for a healthy relationship. You should work on removing your dependency right now when you are single, not bring it into your next relationship. Happy Sunday :)

@Fyangzee24 19 May 2022

Letting go of the temporary Band-Aid It is 10:21 at night, and I have a cup of warm green tea laced between my fingers, and “This Is Us” slowly becoming more of a white tone in the background instead of a story I am following. Sometimes when my thoughts get heavy, and I find sleep evitable, memory lane is the first place I visit. And lately, I have been visiting you there. When I first met you, nothing in my life was in order. My life was still packed up in boxes, in my parent’s garage after moving back home at 25. I was working as a part-time waitress to help contribute to my once-a-month paycheck from the school district and was 2 weeks out of an abusive relationship. Needless to say, I was on the path of starting over. I was creating a new normal. I recognized you the moment you walked into the restaurant.–a man who used to be my fourth-grade crush. You were just as good-looking to me at 25 as you were when I was 9. While I was busing a table, you came over to me and handed me your number on a bar napkin, looked at me, and said, “I didn’t want to miss my opportunity.” I remember instantly thinking, “What opportunity? I am a mess.” I took your number, but at the time had no intention of actually texting you, as I knew the state I was in and didn’t want to get you involved. But going home that night, I couldn’t shake the thought of you. I didn’t want to miss out on a good opportunity either, so I texted you. The short time we spent together had been full of growth; growing together, to growing apart. We had an opportunity to heal, be present and care for one another, which we did wholeheartedly. We saw ourselves in each other. Broken, battered, and bruised. So we gave each other what we needed for ourselves, comfort, stability, and acceptance. However, you cannot give someone what you do not have, and I didn’t have anything left to give you. And for that, I’m sorry. I am sorry for the heavy baggage, the triggers, and the doubts that you didn’t know you’d have to unpack when you met me. I am sorry for a mess that wasn’t yours to clean up, but you did anyway. I am sorry for the scars that mark me, ones that you could never heal that quickly, even with your love, commitment, or resilience. I am sorry I shut down when you proved to me time and time again you wanted to fight for us. I am sorry I assumed the worst from you when you were always offering your best. I am sorry for the mixed messages I gave you, for the confusion, the heartache, and my wishy-washy commitment. I am sorry that because I couldn’t comfort you, you found temporary comfort somewhere else. But I am not sorry for what you taught me, about myself, the world, and relationships. It was never your job, or your duty to “love me back to health.” I couldn’t be healed by one man, while I was rebuilding myself from what another man tore down. We were both Broken Wanderers, and two lost people are never going to find their way home. Losing you still brings a painful ache to my heart, but I needed to lose you. I needed to lose you to find myself again. And without losing you, I would have never found me. So thank you. Thank you for always letting me be me. Thank you for appreciating and understanding why I had to do certain things to heal and for always respecting my choices. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable and not running away. Thank you for always staying present when all I did was run. Thank you for showing me I do have the capacity to love and to be loved fiercely. Thank you for holding me during my dark days, showing up for me when I couldn’t show up for myself, and for believing in who I could be when I couldn’t see it. Thank you for fighting. You fought hard for what you saw in me. My vision of who I was, or who I could be, was long gone when you found me, I didn’t see myself in the same light you did. I still think of you often and hope you are finding the love I wish I could give you. I hope you find someone whose eyes glow when she makes eye contact with you, I remember there were times I looked at you with so much wonder. I hope you find someone who loves you deeply and fully and someone who never makes you question your place in her life. I hope she appreciates art the way you do, appreciates your diverse group of friends, and appreciates the good ole game of BlackJack. I hope she respects you, admires you, and believes in you. But most importantly, I hope she loves you more deeply than I could. I hope she doesn’t run, but stays and proves to you that you are worth fighting for. Because you deserve it. You’ve always deserved it.

@Fyangzee24 18 May 2022

To my birth parents: Hi. Parents? People? Strangers? I’m really not quite sure how to address you. This might be weird, and I doubt that you will ever come across this single article hidden away on a personal post, but here it goes anyways. This is for you, to satisfy the ever so slight and fateful chance that you do read this; and probably to bring me a little closure as well. I wanted to write this letter to let you know that I’m okay. To let you know that you made the right decision. To say, thank you. Almost 23 years ago you changed my life. You made, what I hope was a hard decision, to give me up. To provide me with a better life. To give me a chance at a future that you could not provide. That decision that changed my life, that ultimate sacrifice, was absolutely what was meant to be. You blessed me with the most amazing adoptive parents; the most amazing adoptive family. They have filled my life with endless love and support from day one. The life that you gave me has allowed me to experience more than you could ever imagine. I’m sure when you gave me up you wanted to ensure stability and security and that I was properly cared for. I hope that you know, you gave me that and so much more. I have never felt like an outsider or anything less than part of my adoptive family, although we do not share DNA. My Mom is loving and cares so wholeheartedly. She shows compassion and is always full of motivation and support. My Dad is the most genuine and kindhearted man that I have ever met. He is constantly helping everyone around him and bringing out the best in those who have the privilege to know him. He has taught me to see the good in everyone and given me standards that no man will ever live up to. They are the two greatest people I have ever and believe I will ever meet. I hope you understand when I say that I will always reserve the names “Mama” and “Papa” solely for them. I think that I was paired with them for a reason like we each were the piece that the other needed. If you were to ever meet them, I think you would like them… everybody does. I grew up in a beautiful small town where I created memories with the siblings I learned to grow up with. A charming neighborhood where I formed lifelong friendships and was constantly surrounded by incredible family and friends. I got the opportunity to be involved in a community where I was an achiever, a student, a friend, a teammate, a daughter, and a sister. I have graduated college and I am currently living my dream career. Although I am still not sure where it is yet, I can say to you in confidence, that wherever I do end up, I will be okay. I have a bright future ahead and am still reinforced with support in all that I do by the wonderful people in my life. My opportunities and experiences are just beginning and am looking to be equally if not greater than those I’ve already had. I’ve been luckier than most. I’ve gotten to laugh. I’ve gotten to love it. I’ve gotten to travel. I’ve gotten to live a life where I never had to question if I would have a roof over my head or if I would have something to eat for dinner. The only times I didn’t sleep in my bed was the nights I was having a sleepover with my best friends. And most importantly, I always had the comfort of coming home to a family full of unconditional love. Know that sometimes I do think about you. As I’ve grown up, I’ve been surrounded by others being told things like, “you have your father’s eyes” and “you look just like your mom”. At times I’ve wondered if I look like you. If I sound like you. Which one of you gave me my obnoxious laugh? Who did I get my ambition and constant strive for perfection from? Which of you do I have to blame for my crooked smile? Do you guys love chocolate just as much as I do? I guess I will never really know the answer to the nature vs. nurture debate we learn about in school, and that is okay. The curiosity about meeting you will remain just that. It will never be acted upon. Likewise, you most likely never go looking for me. What I want you to know is that I would like to keep it that way. We will probably never meet again. At this point, we are over 7,400 miles apart (7417.3 to be exact). Even if we were near to each other, I doubt that I would recognize you; and you probably wouldn’t recognize me. I mean, it’s been almost twenty-three years since you last saw me… I probably look a little different. Joking aside, we can both agree a lot has changed, and it has all been for the better. Whenever I have thought about looking for you and learning more, I always reach the same conclusion: I don’t wish to meet you. This isn’t meant to be offensive, it is simply accepting that it is what is best for everyone. They say that “everything happens for a reason” and I fully believe that. The truth is, we are no longer relevant in each other’s lives. Our relationship was just one chapter that is over and has been for some time. Your impact was to bring me into this world and lead me to the family that I have now, and I am sure my birth affected you as well. However, we no longer share a common connection besides genetics. I have my family now, and I hope that you have yours. I will always love you for the fact that without you, I would not be where I am today. I will be forever thankful for you and the choice you made those many years ago. I was blessed with birth parents who were willing to do what was in my best interest, and I am now blessed with the incredible life that decision gave me. So this is my goodbye. My closure. My thank you. Finally, I hope you have a good life. Because, because of your choice, I do. Love, Your biological daughter.

@Fyangzee24 16 May 2022

To the guy I love but can't have. I remember it. I remember it all. The first time our eyes met, my world changed. On day one, you told me not to take constructive criticisms seriously and that we don’t deserve anything less. You said to keep me on surprising you because you believe in me and that I have talents and potential or maybe more. Day by day, I felt like I’m brand new because I am learning a lot from you. Lying in bed, out of the blue, you said that the universe has no obligation to make sense to me then, we paused. A minute later you continued, “So you’ve got to live. No matter how many times your world has fallen. You’ve got to live.” I wouldn’t have made it this far if it hadn’t been for you. You made me question everything I believed in love, in life, but never my existence. You made me see the opposite, the irony, and the satire. You let me distinguish between the real and the unreal. You let me decide on my own. You gave me the courage to lose myself in something I truly wanted. You taught me that it’s okay to collapse, to be comfortable with silence, to cry at the drop of a hat, to bend but not break. You made me feel. You hear me even when I do not speak. You give me the best comfort. You were there when I failed. You looked up to me. You were there, you never left. You never fail to admire me even when I’m doubting myself. You made me feel beautiful. Funny, how our courses collide. It feels like, maybe we’re meant to be in the same story. A story that has the finest writing. A book I ain’t scared to open or close. A story worth living. I am so lucky to get this close to you. I would still stare and adore you even at your worst. You might not have been my first love, but you were the love I loved. You are the type of understanding I demand. You are the best adventure I’ve ever had. You are the unusual risk. You are the choice that truly mattered. You are all I ever wanted. To the guy who thinks pain will last forever, shake the heaviness from your shoulders and be willing to start again. Allow yourself to rest. Allow yourself to heal. To the guy with nice perspectives but has lonely eyes, I fell for you. To the guy who laughs hard but always looks sad, it’s always been happier with you. To the guy who’s best at letting go, the best thing I’ve ever held was you. To the guy who feels everything deeply but thinks of himself as empty, my heart is so full of you. To the guy who keeps his heart hidden, I see you. To the guy who’s good at licking his wounds in private, I care for you. To the guy who’s searching for answers, know that the answers are all you. To the guy who’s not just good-looking but also is substantial. To the guy I’ve always had deep conversations with, I know that it’s your way of making love with me; I love you, too. To the guy who reads, my poetry is you.

@Fyangzee24 15 May 2022

Sweet Friday the 13th I was so late to write about something that happened on Friday the 13th because of my unending loads of work to do hahaha. They said when 13 falls on Friday it is a sign of a bad omen. Mostly, accidents could happen on that specific date. In any given year, there's always at least one day dated Friday the 13th. It's the unluckiest date on the calendar according to some people I know. But, not for me. My boyfriend surprised me with his passes and said that he is going to travel from his camp to where am I working at. Being in a Long Distance Relationship makes you become stronger and more patient in all the days to come to make the relationship work. We just celebrated our first month together. Nothing special happened because we were away from each other. We just talked and greeted each other via video calls because that's how we settled in our relationship. He never fails to surprise me in any way he could that is why it is just right to make him happy the way he is making me feel. Like, I never thought someone could bring me butterflies freely when I chased for them when I was younger. I was not feeling well the day after because I was constipated and I was also having cough and colds. I kept telling him to postpone his plan. He did not reply to my last message saying we could set another date because aside from I just came from having an upset stomach and I'm still having a mild cough and cold, I'm worried about him traveling from his camp to my workplace. I'm still thinking about the Friday the 13th hearsay. Not until in the afternoon, I just finished my shift, did I receive a call from him telling me to go out. Then, I saw him on his motorcycle. Seeing him from afar grinning from ear to ear makes me wonder how such a fine man like him falls for someone like me who is unstable, problematic, and awful in many ways. I walked towards him and I was so shocked when he grabbed me quickly and hugged me so tight. Good thing nobody is around because I really do not want to draw attention from the crowd. I just prepared quickly and went on a date with him. We went to La Caridad Farm. I've been living in the town for so long but I've never been to such a place for the reason that I am not the kind of person who goes out a lot. We had our fancy talks, walked while holding each other's hands, and laughed like we never laughed for ages. Our date was just very simple but his effort is all that matters. He could have gone home straight to our hometown (we live in the same town) but, went straight to me because he badly missed me according to him hehe. I hate how the time flies so fast every time I'm with him, I wanted him to stay but I cannot let him because still has work the next day and I don't like him to travel late at night going home. It might be short but we both knew we spent the time together wonderfully. I just want to make beautiful memories with him in the coming years for us.

@Fyangzee24 13 May 2022

Falling in Love vs Falling in Love with the Idea of Being in Love There's a difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with the idea of being in love. One is genuine, the other one is rooted in desire. One is intimate, romantic, and passionate, the other is yearning, wanting, longing, and unstable. They're actually more intertwined than one might think. Before we even solidify a relationship, we date. We date because we want to be in love, but sometimes we go into a relationship thinking the falling in love part will develop over time. However, my perception of this has completely changed. If this person doesn't give you butterflies. If this person doesn't shake up your existence, doesn't make you want to spend every waking moment with them, or doesn't make you feel like you're on top of the world, don't make them your significant other. You need a bonfire to keep the relationship going and healthy, not a match. You need something that will continue to burn rather than can be put out in seconds. Being in love keeps the flames burning and the romance churning, but a little match has little to offer to the other person. A little wind comes and the tiny flame is put out, but a little wind comes to a bonfire and the flames stay strong. A relationship where one isn't in love is very shaky ground and that unpredictability will definitely end up hurting the one who is in love. Being in love sustains an intense partnership, but if you can't find it within yourself to reciprocate that same intense love, then don't waste your time or theirs on a mediocre relationship. Don't rob them of being with someone who could be in love with them as much as they are with them. Dating is fine, but again, I highly suggest not rushing into a relationship until you both are fully fully aware, deeply, and intimately in love with each other, no questions about it. It's okay to date for 1 week, 1 month, or 6 months however long it takes you to realize you're either in love with the person or you were just in love with the idea of being in love. Yes, it's nice to be loved, but it's also nicer when you're authentic with your feelings and explain how you honestly feel to your partner. Yes, it's hard but in the end, you'll be making the best choice for both of you in the long run Happy Friday :)

@Fyangzee24 12 May 2022

An-Open-Letter-To-My-Almost-Lover Dear you, You changed my life the moment you walked into it. You were like sunshine on a rainy day. You made everything feel okay. And I’m thankful for that. You have the kind of smile that can make anyone feel special. And I hate it. I want you to smile just for me. I want you to look at me as if I’m the one made for you. I want you to hold me in your arms as if there’s no tomorrow. I want you to see me as the one you’ll always love. Because that is how I see you. All I see is you. All I want is you. I want you just for me. Remember the first time you saw me crying? Do you remember what you said? You said it’s okay to cry, to be sad. You said it’s okay not to be okay. You were there the whole time. You were trying to make me laugh and I did. You sang a song, my favorite song, and even though you have an awful voice, it was really awful, you still sang for me. You still did things just to make me happy. And from then on, I knew I fell for you. It was like a dream. One day I met you and fell for you. And the best thing is you fell for me, too. But I woke up from that dream. I woke up and I realized I can’t be with you. And it’s not because I don’t love you enough. You are everything I ever wanted. As cliché as it may sound, it’s not you it’s me. It is me that has doubts. It’s me, I’m scared. I’m scared of the past repeating itself. I’m scared that one day you won’t feel the same way. I’m scared that you will disappear. That’s why I’m the one leaving now. As much as I want to be with you, my mind is telling me no. It’s not your fault and it’s not my past lover’s fault. It’s my fault that I can’t trust you again. It’s my fault that I can’t take another risk. I’m sorry but I can’t. I’ve been broken many times and yes, I survived, but just I can’t. I don’t want to risk anymore. Before you, I was looking for love. And when love found me I wanted to look for another thing. I was looking for someone that will make me take risks again. I was looking for someone who can make me feel fearless. You might not be that one but thank you. Thank you for making me feel loved because I almost forgot what love feels like. Thank you for bringing that smile to my face that I haven’t seen for a while. Thank you because for a moment, I felt like I was enough. Thank you for loving me and I’m sorry, I’m scared. Sincerely, Me Disclaimer: not related to my current status I'm In love people 😁 just random thoughts 😁 Lead image from Unsplash.

@Fyangzee24 11 May 2022

An Open Letter To My Long Distance Boyfriend The miles between us may be hard, but being with you is so worth it. Langga, At the moment, you and I are in two separate places. And I can't even begin to tell you how much I wish I could be right by your side. But I will be soon. I know that it is very, very hard dating me from so far away. On certain days, things may seem impossible. But there are a few things I want you to know and understand when things get difficult. First, I want you to always remember how much I care about you. Despite the miles between us, I will never stop asking you how your day is, spontaneously calling you when I know you are having a rough day, or simply sending you a nice text message to brighten your day. Your happiness means everything to me. No matter how far away I am, you are always on my mind. I always want you to be having a fantastic day, enjoying yourself, and making memories. I wish I could be there with you each day to experience all the good things. I wish I could sit across from you at the dinner table, greet you when you get home from work, and go out to do fun things with you every weekend. But I can't. At least not right now. And I wish I could. Second, I want you to realize how hard for me it truly is to be away from you. When something good happens, you are the first person I want to tell. Sure, you may only be a phone call away, but it's not the same as being with you and celebrating in person. When I'm having a bad day, you are the one I want by my side, hugging me tight, telling me that everything is going to be okay. Third, please know and understand that I am loyal to you. So many long-distance relationships end because someone decides to be unfaithful. I would never do that to you. You are the one for me, and nobody else even catches my attention. Nobody here compares to you. I want you, and nobody else. So even with these miles between us, I will always be faithful to you. Just as I always know that you will be to me. Fourth, and finally, I want you to know that despite the hard times and missing each other like crazy, it is worth it. I may see you less than I wish. But when I do get to see you, my heart is filled with pure joy. I practically count down the days until I get to see you. The moment I lay eyes on you after our time apart, and I see your smile and eyes I love so much looking at me, at that moment, I am reminded of how worth it, our long-distance relationship is. I would rather spend time away from you and be able to still laugh with you, see you when I can, and live a happy life with you, than not see you at all. You add happiness to my life that I could never know without you. One day, when there is no long-distance between us and we can permanently be together, we will look back at this part of our lives and be glad that we went through this together. Because the prize, in the end, having you, is oh so worth it. I'll see you soon, and I can't wait. Sincerely, The woman who loves you, even from miles and miles away.

@Fyangzee24 10 May 2022

I may have been way for some days but @Expelliarmus30, I'm so thankful for your generosity. God bless you always ❤

@Fyangzee24 10 May 2022

If I could... Finally, the elections are over! I've been away for some days here because I've been quite busy and LDR is all new to me and I'm kind of in the adjusting phase that I am bothered sometimes. Anyways, my person doesn't make me feel less because he tells me every day that I am enough and that I am loved, it's kind of helping me somehow to cope. Another thing is, that graduation is coming so, paper works, examinations, and preparation for the face-to-face graduation are all that keep me stressed and busy. Anyways, fighting Aja! If I could change my name.... If I could change my name, I would name myself after my parents' names. Well, they said my name's derived from the combination of their names but I don't get in which part. Like, my real name is NEILFIE, my dad's name is SOFIO (Jr.) and my mom's name is MARILYN. My family calls me NEIL, which is so boyish, that's why my teacher in high school gave me a nickname, Fyang, and my close friends call me that nickname. I didn't see the combination in my name. I'd like to call myself, SOFIA MARI. I liked it because I think it's cute and I would be happier bearing the names of my parents. But, since I didn't get the name I want, I will save it for my future daughter, chos, in God's time hehe... If I could live anywhere.... Someday, the time will come that I will have to build my own family, I would like to live in a place where my parents are near. I realized that as we are all becoming busy growing old, unnoticing our parents are getting old as well. I wanted to see them and checked on them from time to time. I want to make them feel that even though I have my own family, they will not feel that they have been forgotten and that their parenting has already ended. I want to make them feel that I am still in need of their care even with my own family. If I could live anywhere, it would be anywhere where my parents are close, closer to my heart. If I could stay at any age forever... I think 23 is a golden age for me. I have been the happiest ever since I became 23. I wanted to stay forever in this age where everything is in its right place though I know I still have a lot more to aim for. I am manifesting good things and positivity in my 23rd year. Also, more heights to conquer and achievements to get. I am starting this year with God on my side and I couldn't be any more confident doing the things I planned even the unprepared ones. If you are feeling left behind, please don't life's not a race, God has prepared our timelines all we have to do is to live with it and be willing to move out of our shells. If I could spend a day in someone else's shoes... I would like to borrow even just for a day Heart Evangelista's life. She's living her best life of her career. I am fond of watching fashion trends and modeling. I wanted to walk at the Dior fashion gala, take pictures on Eiffel Tower, and live like a living doll. I followed her on her different social media accounts and she never fails to awe me with her beautiful poses and amazing wardrobe every day. Aside from that, she is so down-to-earth. She cares a lot about animals one of her advocacies is to take good care of animals. She's one of the people I look up to because she's more than a pretty face. If I could be besties with... I think Selena Gomez and I could be very good best friends. We share the same vibes well, I could tell because I watch her live videos and follow her on her social media accounts. I can relate to her too in many ways. If I could have someone else's talent... If I could have someone else's talent that would be their talent in dancing hahaha. I really love dancing but it's not for me. Also, I envy those people who get to sleep early. I think it's a talent hahaha. I hated how much time I spent changing positions just to make me fall asleep hahaha. If I could meet one celeb... That will always be Taylor Swift. I admired her since elementary because she is very inspiring. She influenced me to play guitar and make compositions that are metaphorically written. She is just so amazing. How about you try this one? :)

@Fyangzee24 5 May 2022

First Love isn't always the First As I've gotten older I've realized that the one you thought your first love isn't really your first love — no matter what age you have it at. I've watched 25-year-olds and 35-year-olds all experience that first love feeling: completely head-over-heels, rushing into things, not listening to reason, being in love with the idea of being in a relationship, even when their partner was kind of crappy. And it can be difficult if you're older when it happens for the first time. I've noticed people who don't start dating until their twenties or later always feel like they're the last person on earth who hasn't been in love. It makes them feel really isolated. And then, when they go through the inevitable ups and downs, people are less sympathetic, because they're older and "should know better." But your first boyfriend/girlfriend isn't always your first love, no matter when it happens. Today after my Mathematics class in grade 6, one of the pupils, remained in our Online classroom. He asked me if it was okay to eat two packs of bar nuts. I told him not to eat too much because it's too sweet which could result in to increase in his blood sugar. He told me he needed it as he is very much stressed. I thought he was talking about his upcoming interview as part of the entrance exam on the school that he planned to go to next school year for high school. But then he told me the real reason why he needs so much sugar in his body. He told me his crush blocked him on Facebook. I wonder why it happened so I continued to ask, I thought I could spare a little bit of my time since I don't have a class anymore in the morning. He was desperate to think about what he did that made her block him. This boy is the top pupil in the class, well-mannered, and very soft-spoken. Until he told me that he confessed to her and after that, he was blocked on Facebook and Messenger. I can't help but laugh on my inside because I remembered how sweet young love is. Good thing during the times I experienced this, Facebook and messenger weren't still that famous to use. After telling me all his rants, he told me that he liked her ever since their 4th grade. And that reminded me of my so-called first love. I told him, that probably she's not yet ready to entertain and have crushed that's why she did that. I said that it isn't the perfect time yet. In the end, he understood what I meant and decided to study hard so that she will find him deserving of her. Isn't it cute? Just then I recalled, I thought the reason why my first love didn't work in the past was that it is not the perfect time yet, I realized, it isn't the time it's the person. I was the only one who had a big crush on him. I never felt my feelings were reciprocated even when the time we both gave each other a chance which lasted only for 26 days. Imagine I like him for 11 years yet he only gave me 26 days and I didn't feel love and affection in that short period. I really thought of him as my first love until I found a love for someone I didn't expect to fall for. I have never loved someone as much as I love this person today, I don't care if it's bad to love him excessively. I enjoyed loving him and I think it will be my favorite routine. So if someone asks me who my first love is, I will say his name without thinking twice, because despite that he has not been my first love, but he was the first to make me feel this love so great I feel now, the love and care that I never felt before for someone. I think this is why they say the third love is the unexpected one. The kind of love that you will never see it coming. It felt like it was all wrong in the first place because, after the first and second love, it makes you don't want to love anymore since those were all a failure and huge mistakes. However, this is different, this love feels like home, I admire how it is, and for once in my life, I was able to say to myself, "I want to have this person for the rest of my life." Hi! How's your Thursday? :)

@Fyangzee24 2 May 2022

To The Right Person At The Wrong Time Timing is a horrible and crazy thing. Once in a while, when you least expect it, someone will come into your life and turn it completely upside down. Everything you thought you wanted and needed suddenly changes. You go from thinking you're better off alone and you only need yourself, to wanting someone to share your life with. Real-life is a funny thing. Things don't always happen as we want them to or anticipate them to. In real life, you can't rectify everything. I think I knew. Sometimes you just know, you know? I think I knew the first time we hung out that you were different and were going to make me feel odder than I had in a long time. To be quite honest with you, you stunned the hell out of me. I hadn't felt anything for anybody in three years and then you arrive completely abruptly and reawakened the butterflies in my stomach. I hate you for that, in the most endearing way possible. But, we both know I don't hate you. Maybe it would be easier if I hated you, then it wouldn't be hard on me that you have to leave. You're different though, I think that's why I like you. I'm used to people abandoning me by choice because they had exhausted everything out of me that they could. Like a sponge, you keep wringing out until it has nothing left to give. But you are leaving because you have to. What makes it even more different is that you still want to be in my life. There's usually a final goodbye where I know I won't ever talk to someone again. With you, I do not question in my mind that if I ever needed you or wanted to talk to you, you would be there. I think real life is a funny thing, but timing is as well. How is it that two people who genuinely care about each other can't be with one another? Time. Timing is truly everything. In our case, time was not on our side. I think one of the unhappiest things to me is when two people who want to be together or at least want to see where life takes them, can't be together for reasons like timing or distance. There will always be this chorus of reverberating voices in my head saying "What if?" What if the situation was different and you could've stayed? What if this could've been something? What if we had more time? What if we would've met at a different time, a better time? I'll never know the answers to those "What if?" questions. What I do know is that you made me feel again. Even if it was momentary, immediate, and went from zero to 100, I felt something again. For someone who walks around with a constant abyss in the pit of their stomach, it was so nice to care for another person so much again. It was nice to feel whole again. It was nice to feel anything again. It was refreshing and inspiring to find someone who was genuinely nice to me. Someone who didn't pour out venom at me and left me marveling at what I could've done to make them stay. I want to thank you for that. I want to thank you for making me feel something again. I want to thank you for opening up doors for me, for letting me be vulnerable with you, for listening to me talk about "silly things," for giving me attention when I needed it the most, for dealing with my sassy comments and giving them right back, and for being someone I know would never purposely hurt me. But mostly, I want to thank you for teaching me to care about someone else again. Not only that, but for helping me realize that not only do I want more than just a fling, but I deserve more than a fling. In another life, maybe it could've worked out. I'm not sure. I don't know if I can afford to hang around on the "what ifs." Regardless of what could've come about or what I wanted to happen, I'm glad you happened to me. You, the right person at the wrong time. When the time comes that I have to finally decide to let you go, always remember you always have my heart and I'm keeping you forever in my life.

@Fyangzee24 30 April 2022

Which is Worse? So, as I was scrolling my Pinterest account, I saw this very interesting topic, Which is Worse? Since I have nothing to write about at the moment so, I took the chance to answer this. Late for a date or Break a promise? It's always breaking promises the worse. I'd rather be late on a date, at least I still made it rather than make promises that I cannot be able to stand. I hate to make promises because I know how bad it feels when someone stood you up with their promises. As much as possible, instead of saying a promise, I'd rather not say anything. It somehow helps to avoid breaking promises. Get rejected by crush or Crush doesn't know your feelings For me, it's better to get rejected by my crush because it gives me clarity that I don't have any chances with him. It will help me move on and stop having high hopes of getting close to my crush. Untold feelings might end up regrets and it's a very awful feeling because you will always be haunted by your thoughts telling you that you should've opened up your feelings to the girl/guy you like. It's better to be open with your feelings rather than regretting not telling your feelings in the end. A hero dies in a movie or a dog dies in a movie I am really not into hero movies so it's always dogs that die in a movie that is heartbreaking. I've seen a lot of movies that have dog characters in them and I always burst into tears. one of the saddest scenes in Game of Thrones was the death of the dire wolves of the Stark Siblings. It took me how many days to move on with the scenes. Send screenshot to the wrong person or Like your crush's old photos Both are embarrassing but I think between the two is hitting the like button of my crush's old photo. Because it could mean one thing, I am stalking his account. It would be fine if only he will not get notified of liking his old photo but it's not like that. It will pop up on his notifications. I can easily remove the screenshot I accidentally sent to the wrong person and say it's an accident and as we all know, it's possible no matter how careful we are. Too cold or Too hot I am in favor of being too cold because I consider myself a polar bear. I just think that it's really comfortable to sleep in a room with a cold temperature. I just can't sleep if it's too hot. I hate the sweat that dries up in my body, it makes me feel so sticky. Can't clean your tongue or can't clean your teeth It's worse if you don't brush your teeth. While brushing your teeth, the tongue can be cleaned also, just by gargling, some residues on the tongue can actually be removed. Aside from that, it's uncomfortable to smile and talk when you don't brush your teeth. People can see and smell our mouths and it's very disgusting. Be Single or No friends I'd rather be single than have no friends. My single life before wasn't boring thanks to my friends who were with me thru thick and thin. Single life wasn't bad at all when you are surrounded by good and funny people. You will never realize that you were single for so long because the emptiness was filled by your friends. So, it's nice to have friends. Friends upload your ugly photos or Your old photos dug up by friends Both are worse hahaha. If it involves my ugly photos, I wouldn't like them to be exposed. I'm really gonna be hysterical if it happens hahaha. But, I got crazy friends who don't follow friendship protocols so my ugly photos are unsafe. No matter how I hid them on my account, I do not know how they do it, I will just be surprised when I get notified that I am being tagged by my old ugly photos but it's fun to look at though. I bet you wanna try this one too. Tag me when you do this :)

@Fyangzee24 28 April 2022

Isn't this what you want? No one can really tell that this is now the ending, That this is how we gonna end things between us We have so many memories that I forgot to look after myself I was so in love with you that I forgot to leave some for myself Yes, you are right that from the very start I already knew, I knew that this relationship will not last for long nevertheless, I fought for it, You were by far my favorite risk, my favorite what-if, my favorite-come-what-may From the closest beating of my heart from the farthest shining star, you had me I am wondering which pain weighs more, the pain I felt on the love I have for you or the pain of the moment you let go? I know that on every page that we tried to put together, There's one page I can't seem to accept, And that is the last page of our story, The books I've read had endings too, But they end in many different manners, There's a happy ending and a mediocre ending, But why does ours need to be painful? Why does your leaving so sudden? It seemed just yesterday when we are happy, It seemed just yesterday when we talked about our future, But, why does it seems the world overturned and leaving me was the decision you made. My mind can't process why we have to be in this situation, If it's only possible, I would want to forget instantly but every time you crossed my mind, I can't stop myself to ask how are you doing? Are you doing fine? Are you eating on time? Why am I still caring about you and not myself that was badly hurt by you, There are a million reasons to leave you, I could leave you for making me an option I should be leaving you because all I do is cry when I think of you But it never crossed my mind to abandon you, Rather, I give more importance to every time that we will spend together, I thought, perhaps we could still work this out Hoping you will wake up unconfuse about the future Wishing that you will keep me close as you had always been to me You told me what others feel is more important to you and nothing else than us How I wished I could just be so numb so that you will not get a hard time choosing which should you keep, I thought it was us against the world? Why are you giving up on me, when you said we will fight together? You are leaving me in the middle of this battlefield I am more than willing to fight but I cannot make it on my own I need you to fight our love with me Anyway, if you really love me, you don't have to include me in your choices You are supposed to choose me over them, The sad thing is, you haven't chosen yet, But I already knew your choice I should have not let you drag myself into this relationship, Because in the end, I already know that it will never be me but them But, always remember I will choose you every day. Lead image from Google.

@Fyangzee24 27 April 2022

What if? I read Miss @Jelena's recent write-up about a word generator and I loved how she made composition on the three random nouns she got. I found it over the internet and you can choose other things to generate randomly. I got hooked on the "What if? scenarios." Here is the link if you want to check it out. Writing Exercises. https://writingexercises.co.uk/scenario-generator.php A friend has been staying with you since his relationship break-up. She has overstayed her welcome but you don't want to ask her to leave. Think of an imaginative scheme to make her decide to go? So, in a situation like this, of course, I will be considerate knowing that she is going through something unbearable. In the meantime, I will allow her to share my space. She needs someone beside her in times like this and as her friend, I would not allow her to be alone while going through some shit. But, I will be needing my own space too. if her stay at my place is becoming disturbing and she doesn't share the things needed in the house, I would rather tell her frankly that, she needs to move out and deal with things on her own because I've done my part already. It might be frank but I will do it most nicely as much as possible. After all, true friends speak to you frankly rather than being hypocrites. A close member of your family has committed murder. Would you keep quiet about it? What might your silence depend upon? I can somehow relate to this but in a different situation. My cousin was caught red-handed using *Mary Jane* or *Marijuana*. He was captured right away and was sent to the police station. My uncle who is the chief police in our town was shocked to see him. My cousin's dad negotiates with our uncle which is his cousin also to let this off. But, a public servant shouldn't accept bribes even if it comes from the family. So, my cousin is locked up in jail. It's also for the best of everybody because we all want him to change. We thought that keeping him in jail will make him a change. We hope so too. In this situation, I would do the same as my uncle did. I will not tolerate such a bad deed in our family. I will not keep my silence about it because it would be unfair to the family of the person he killed. I will let the law and authorities punish him for what he had done. It should be done like that or else, things may get worse in the future. Every day at the station, you see someone you're attracted to, How would you go about getting yourself noticed? I will simply approach the guy and talk to him. If I will just look at him from afar, I will just look like a stalker, and stalkers are only for those who have bad intentions. I am a lady who is attracted to someone I see every day at the station, so it's just right for me to approach him and be friendly. I think there's nothing wrong with doing the first move. Women who do the first move are not cheap. They have high standards and know what they want. They don't easily take what's being handed to them. They pursue what they want and no social norm can ever stop them from doing so. And no, they're not selling themselves short, they are only getting what they believe they deserve. It's the night before your wedding and you finally admit to yourself that you don't love the person you are able to marry. Write about what happens next. I think the next thing that should happen next is to postpone the wedding. Even if it's just a phase or a night-before-the-wedding-itch, it should be taken seriously because marriage is not a child's play that when you are not happy anymore with your playmates, you will just leave and go home. Communicating to the partner is a must. There should be understanding to evaluate the feelings if it's still real or the love has already faded. If I am to marry someone, I just don't marry for security, I will marry the person because of love. I don't think I'll be able to live a happy married life if I'm no longer in love with the person. I will try more of this some other time. It's fun actually :) Happy Wednesday everyone!

@Fyangzee24 26 April 2022

Would you rather Questions Status: In A Relationship As I write this draft, I already finished my classes for today. I have had nothing to write about since last night. I had so many unfinished drafts on my notes but I still can't seem to finalize them. I have answered Would You Rather Questions before which I enjoyed answering. I wanted to try again answering on a different edition now, that I am happily in a relationship. Yay! After so many years hahaha. Would you rather turn your best friend into an intimate relationship or turn your intimate relationship into your best friend? I had a boy best friend before. We never moved to the level where we could be more than friends. I value friendship with every friend I have. Sadly, things were no longer the same before, he unfriended me on Facebook at the time that he already had a girlfriend. There was nothing wrong with me about him having a girlfriend but he shut me out and he didn't give me the chance to support him. I remembered he told me that he didn't want his girlfriend to get the wrong idea about him having a girl best friend. I would rather turn my intimate relationship into a best friend. My boyfriend is now my best friend. It's really amazing how he can be my lover and at the same time my best friend. I already shared that we had been classmates since elementary but we weren't good friends. I can barely recall the few times we talked before but he had a lot of memories of me and him being in one group in our science class and how I mistreated him when he was not able to do the task I told him to do as the group leader. I feel so bad and both of us are laughing so hard while reminiscing our times back in high school. Would you rather have your partner meet your parents early or meet your parents late? As much as I wanted my parents to meet him, it was too complicated for us to reveal our relationship for now. Well, my parents knew him already since we went to the same school, we live in the same town and I just heard from a relative that he and I are somewhat still related to each other. We talked about it already, but it seems like he is unbothered, he said that, if we both can prove to them that what we have is real, then they cannot do anything about it. I still have to confirm how far are we related to each other. I overthink sometimes, but he assures me that nothing will ever change if one day people will know about us and judge us like we made a sin. In the meantime, I am enjoying the thrill and the challenge that we are going through with the distance between the two of us. Would you rather spend every day making each other laugh or every day making each other happy? I would rather spend every day making each other happy. I don't know if it's just me but every time I laugh so hard, it will always be reciprocated with sad happenings. It's just what I observed. We rarely see each other, so I'll make most of the day if given a chance to make each other happy. Both of us are contented over with simple things and we laugh over simple talks. We are crazy for laughing so much every time we talk over the phone. Our favorite topic is when we talk about our elementary and high school days. He reminds me of the things I already forgot and things I didn't know back then since I barely had a life at school during my younger years. I could say, even with the distance, we are happy. Would you rather hang out with friends or have an intimate date night? I would rather hang out with friends. Our friends in elementary and high school don't know about us yet. For sure, it would be a big revelation for them once we decided to be out because we never showed interest in each other ever since then. It's just in college that we started having conversations. We had an on-and-off communication before because he had a girlfriend before. Then, when he was in the training he never fails to send messages and tells me about his journey, he said that I became his comfort person during those days. I thought I was just being friendly by responding to his messages but I fell for him without noticing but I never regretted it. I never felt treated so right by anybody before. I hope all of you had an amazing Tuesday :)

@Fyangzee24 24 April 2022

Annual Me Day I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing, I thought it was already 6:00 am as it is what I set always as my alarm to wake up every day. But, it was a phone call coming from him. As I answered it, I was stunned when I heard him singing, Happy Birthday on the other line. I checked the time and it was midnight. I can't hide my romantic excitement towards his gestures. It was my first time experiencing something like this. We talked for a while, him giving me birthday wishes while I can't stop smiling. I am trying not to make a sound because my roommates are still asleep. We decided to go back to sleep after that sweet call from him. I truly appreciated his effort. He said that he wanted to make it memorable since he's already part of my new year and he wanted to make sure that he's the one that greets me first. Isn't he so clingy? Haha. I find him cute anyway. I woke up at 6 a.m. As I turned on my phone's data, I received a lot of messages coming from different people and also from my group chats. I feel so happy reading their birthday wishes. As much as I wanted to reply to all the messages, I cannot since it would take a lot of time. There are also funny posts coming from my close friends. I did not know where they get my ugly pictures hahaha. I find it funny though. My sister also left a message on my wall. I wanted to keep on track with all the birthday greetings but I have so much laundry to do. I washed my clothes in the morning and I took a nap in the afternoon. My boyfriend keeps on calling me but I didn't notice it until he's on his 6th dial on my number. He just checked me out because I forgot to give him an update. I really feel sorry for him sometimes because I always forgot giving him updates as I am not used to giving updates to someone. He never complains though, he said I don't have to keep on updating him because he can text me directly to ask. This guy really mastered the art of making my heartbeat abnormal hahaha. After taking a bath, I went downtown to buy pizza and milk tea for my roommates and for our boss who lives just on the second floor. They were shocked because they thought someone has delivered food for me hahaha. I told them I have a sugar daddy that finances me. But, I am my own sugar daddy hahaha. A little later than that, someone came in for delivery, it says it's under my name and is already paid. I wasn't expecting any surprises this year. But, my sister successfully surprised me. She knew my addiction to the K-pop group BTS and she knew that my bias is Jungkook. I am very much happy to see a plushy pillow of Cooky and other items of Cooky BT21. I phoned her immediately and I cried out of happiness. I really can't get over my new plushy pillow. It's just so cute. At 3:00 pm I went to the church. I was delighted that the presiding priest was the friend of my boss. He was actually a parish priest in Bohol but his homeland is Southern Leyte. He delivered a wonderful homily that made my time at church meaningful. What I prayed to God is that I am expressing my gratitude for all the blessings He bestowed on me. With all the people that inspire me, I thanked Him, With all the things I need and want, I thanked Him, Everything that made my life worth living, I thanked Him. I also thanked Him for adding one more person to my life that makes me happy and inspired. I do not know what is in for me this year, But, what I am sure of is that I will make this year, a year full of happiness and success. I will soar to greater heights and face all the things I fear. There will be no changing, I will just upgrade myself to a better version of myself. One last thing, my brother messaged me that my Smokey has given birth to 3 healthy bunnies. I am so happy to receive such news from home. My rabbit family is growing so fast. I can't get enough of all these blessings that I am receiving. I want to thank you, fam, for leaving me birthday wishes in the comment section of my previous article. I surely read all of those and replied to all of you means a lot to me. Cheers to more greatness this year! Cheers to the growing love I found! Cheers to a complete revolution around the sun! Cheers to all of us! May God bless you and more BCH to come to all of us 💖✨

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@Fyangzee24 23 April 2022

The day before my Birthday Hello everyone, today is Saturday, April 23, 2022. I feel very special today because tomorrow is my birthday. What makes it more special is that I am extra happy with all the things that surround me. I could be extremely happy if not because of the monthly sickness that is making me suffer since last night. It gave me a hard time sleeping early last night but thankfully, he comforted me thru almost 2 hours of a phone call. He stayed with me until I feel drowsy. My heart is so full. So, even if I slept late, I was still able to wake up and have a very good morning. Earlier this morning, I can't hide my romantic excitement upon reading his very sweet message. He was very early as he has a duty today. My colleagues teased me because they saw me smiling and staring at my phone very early in the morning. Who wouldn't be right? If you receive a message coming from your favorite person. I am so inspired to be productive all day. I still feel the sting around my waist, but at 9 am in my first class, it somehow toned down. My pupils knew that tomorrow is my birthday, so right after we ended the class, they greeted me and sang a Happy Birthday Song. Gladly, I recorded it. Beautiful memories for my 23rd birthday. At 10:30 am, one of my colleagues accompanied me to go the restaurant where I ordered food for our lunch because I decided to celebrate today instead of tomorrow. We also bought cake. I chose my favorite black forest. I am still on my strict diet so, even if it's tempting, I will only eat a small amount, because I don't want my sugar to rise again. We had a very delightful lunch. My colleagues made my annual day very special. I may not be with my family on this very special day, but my second family is making me feel like I'm home. How I wished I could celebrate my special day with the people I love. He, on the other hand, wants to come but because they're not allowed to go anywhere farther from their camp, he makes sure that he gets updated with all the events happening this day, he also makes sure that I feel his presence despite our distances. This feels so right. I couldn't wish anything on my birthday when I already got it in advance. I considered him one of my birthday gifts but he just came so early well, it's still my birthday month. By the way, before I could forget, I received a gift from Miss Che, my boss's friend, and also a monetary gift from my boss and so much love from my super amazing person. I don't know what's up on the next day but I'm sure it's gonna be the best day. I'll make sure to go to church since 24th falls on a Sunday, and thank Him for all the blessings He gave to me. Oh, God, You are so great! Can I get birthday wishes from you here, fam? I'd like to fill my heart reading birthday wishes hehehe...

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@Fyangzee24 22 April 2022

Ronan Martha stood up as soon as she saw the doctor coming out of the operating room. "Doctor, how is my son doing? Is he well now? Can I see him now?" The doctor took off his eyeglasses and look down in despair. This is the hardest part of being a doctor. You cannot make magic happen. "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your son didn't make it." Martha fell to her knees as she heard the deafening words of the doctor. Pain in the mother's heart surrounds the waiting area. "My son is too young for cancer. Doesn't God care any more? Isn't he, His son too? Where were you God, when my son needed you?" She cried the loudest while hugging her son's baseball cap. The doctor assisted her to stand. "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes before he's transported to the university." Martha went inside the room where his son lies. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick, curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked her. She nodded her head as a response. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag, and handed it to Martha. "Ronan, my boy, it was his idea to donate his body to the university for study. I did not allow it at first, but he said it might help somebody else and he said to me, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe, some other little boy will have one more day to spend with his mom. He has a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could." Martha walked out of the hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last eight years there. She put the bag with Ronan's belongings on the now empty seat beside her in the car. She can still feel her son's presence which made her way home difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. Before it was Ronan who she carries inside the house, now it was just all his belongings and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair. She put them all in his room. She started placing the toy cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them like it's waiting for their owner to come home. After she was done, she laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Martha awoke. She found a folded letter beside her. She slowly opened the letter and read its content. *Dear Mom,* *I know that you miss me already. Don't think that I will ever forget you or stop loving you, just because I'm not around to say I love you. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again.* *Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly, and you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of His pictures, but I still knew it was Him and He took me to see God!* *And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him like I was someone very special. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you goodbye and everything.* *God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed Him?' God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right here, as He always is with all His children.* *Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I'm not sick anymore. I don't feel pain anymore. I'm glad because I couldn't stand the pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent an angel to come and get me. The angel said I was a special delivery! Isn't it amazing?* *Signed with Love from God, Jesus, and me, Ronan* Martha, let her tears flow from her eyes with a smile on her lips as she pressed the letter to her chest. https://youtu.be/kdiBc40gW7s *Disclaimer: Taylor Swift made me write this one. I suggest you listen to the song about the little boy, Ronan.* Lead image from Google. Thank you <3

@Fyangzee24 21 April 2022

My one-eyed Mom My mom had only one eye. I hated her. For me, she's an embarrassment. I hated every time she goes to my school to cook for the kids at school and teachers at the canteen to support the family. One day, mom passed by our classroom after delivering the food ordered by one of the teachers. She stop by and said hello to me. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to vanish that instant. How dare she do this to me? I already told her many times at home to never approach me or talk to me. I ignored her and threw her a look full of contempt and disdain, and I ran out. The next day at school as I entered the classroom, I heard my classmates talking about me having a one-eyed mom. "Sherwin, that was your mom yesterday, right? Your mom has only one eye!" and the room is filled with laughter. I wanted to bury myself alive. I am very much embarrassed and the only I could think of is for my mom to disappear. As soon as I got home, I went directly to the back portion of the house where I found her doing the laundry. I confronted her and said, "If you're only going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?" She did not respond. I didn't feel any guilt and I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of the house and be out of the embarrassment she was bringing into my life. So, I studied real hard and got a chance to study abroad with the help of the scholarship I applied for at school. Years passed, and I became successful, got married, bought a house, and had kids of my own. This is the happiest moment of my life. I am happy with my wife, my kids, and my comfortable life. I never thought of her anymore but one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and hadn't seen her grandchildren yet. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her. I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! Get out of here! Now!" And to this, she quietly answered, "Oh, I'm sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight. One day, I received a letter inviting me to our school reunion. I decided to go but I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack, just out of curiosity. The people nearby said that she died. I did not shed a single tear upon hearing it. She is dead to me a long time ago. Someone handed me a letter that was from my mother that she wanted me to have. *My dearest son,* *I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.* *I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.* *You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.* *I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place with that eye.* *With all my love to you,* *Your mother* Lead image from Google. Thank you <3

@Fyangzee24 20 April 2022

The Unlabeled Relationships Every time I look back on the time on how everything started from the simple emoji wave you sent on messenger until the conversation lasted to mornings and sometimes when you drowse in the middle of our talks. It was so absurd because you're so eager to tell me to stay up all night when you're the one who is very weak and knocks down easily. I assumed before that it was just one missed word that happened in our 3 am conversation, and I wasn't even surprised when you give me words and showed mixed signals that confused me big time on the following days. No one knows how my heart somersaulted glancing at your messages on my screen without even thinking if they were real. Every time you deliver new words and sentences sometimes a paragraph of sweet-nothings that truly rejoiced my mind, my heart flutters, and butterflies move around inside my digestive tract making me smile like an idiot in the middle of the night for an unknown reason. A week has passed and your charm and magical effect on me developed in my system that I kept on longing for your presence. I reckoned to myself that someone is loving me again, however, when would this last? One month has passed and the connection became stronger, your words have become ecstasy to me that it completes my day. I feel happy that we shared the same ability to make each other's company happy and comfortable. With each day that passed, feelings have grown fonder and developed without us noticing. Words have become more meaningful, deeper, and sweeter that if ever one of us stops, the other would probably be in vain for falling so hard with words. And I know that it will be me. You constantly told me that you love me as I am to you as well. Today, it's the 53rd day since the day I let you crash my day and my system, it seemed like you changed so effortlessly. Your words have become plain and ordinary, it's becoming unfamiliar day by day and days have existed where I begged for your attention so you could spare time to talk with me. Melancholy is what it is. I know for sure we are almost to the conclusion of our story that didn't even start for the reason that you no longer have the words to continue to our supposed-to-be love story. Just leave me a message of goodbye so, I'll be able to walk away on my own. https://youtu.be/8vALk08nmyU Disclaimer: I made a draft of this when I'm still in the talking stage with him. I thought that we will just settle for the unlabeled relationship, not until he moved the glass and that made me the happiest <3 Thank you!