I lack of sleep and my heart was pierced into pieces that I feel so brokenhearted. This one is more painful than when i can't poop smoothly because of eating too much cornick that my poop feels like there's a bag of sand that will come out in it that when i tried to push - it will leave a wounds in my fudging butthole. I don't want to elaborate the reason why i feel so brokenhearted but it's not because my crush doesn't like me, I always got a rejection so nothing's new to that and I'm used to it anyway.
But this one is a different matters. I want to spank my ass for doing drastic things or smash my head on a fudging wall just to punish myself and be reminded that I'm a fudging mor9n. Tsk, and that is the reason why I'm in pain right now. Not physically but you all know that a pain from something else is more painful than a big cut in your palm. Ahhh, if only i just stay still tsk. But what's done is already done and now I will just wait for this not so sure result where my future is at stake. Hahaha, wow future but whatever.
And, don't think I'm pregnant who's waiting for a result okay? Me going to Milan I think is more possible than I get pregnant, just saying. Lol. Teheee. Okay, sorry for my inactiveness yesterday. Got busy over something that just give me a heartbreak. It's really not worth my time to be honest and I am regretting it big time. I sound so overly dramatic here but it's the real thing man and ouch. Now that I think about it, if only i just focus on grinding here instead of doing 'it' - I will gain more for sure and i will not feel brokenhearted like this.
But as I've said i can't change anything now, all i can do now is to work my ass off and grind. Wew, that feels good. Releasing all of it in this article is a big help really.
So let's get down to business. That one above is just a long rants because of my stupidity and this one is the real thing now. I've Just some questions here that I want to answer. First saw it yesterday in @Athaliah's article and I also want to answer some deep question. Dunno, it says it's a deep question, you can check them in here article HERE. So it's a more serious, need to release my seriousness on this one eh. And these are the question I chose;
Which would you prefer: having a baby without a partner or a partner without a baby?
Do you get excited or scared when meeting new people?
If you die tonight, would you pass away fulfilled or unsatisfied with life?
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So No. 1, I would choose the first one - a baby without a partner. I'm not sure if I can handle a baby but I think I'd rather choose that than to have man in life. I know to myself that I will never be a good partner coz I have this toxic habits that I'm sure everyone's hate. So I'm just saving whoever will be my partner from having a headache. I will never be good to anyone. I'm still not sure, but anything can happen and there can be a chance so ayaw kong magsalita ng tapos but, I want to get old alone or with a baby. And I have this wish, it's a weird wish actually but I want to die at this age or 50 so having someone beside me is really not a good choice. As for the baby, I mean if ever I die I'm sure she can handle herself naman na. So, that's that.
As for question No. 2, hmm not sure if where to include myself in that two. I'm not really scared but a little bit anxious? Something like that coz I don't know and I'm not sure how can I approach them. And you know when I talk I have this habit that I stutter I can even feel a cold sweet in my arms. Even if I know that someone for sometime now like they are my former classmates or even my friends here in read.cash. I think too much if I know that I will be meeting new people. Like, I just want to hide on my Mom's skirt and save myself from a sure embarrassment. I feel like everyone will have a say if ever they saw me. Insecurities and all, blame it to that tsk.
And for the last question, I'll die fulfilled. I haven't achieve much in this lifetime but I think I already enjoy my life in the past 27 years. It's not like I'm tired living already but it's more like I'm living a boring life now. But don't get me wrong I'm happy with my life now it's just that I don't have that big driving force to you know enjoy it to the fullest. There still time that I find my life bored. Some will say to explore the world but I don't really have the reason to do it. It's like a waste of timr and I enjoy more my bedroom that to travel around the world. I always say that I want to do that but if I really want it I should push myself to do it but why I can't force myself? But whatever, I will die fulfilled if ever that happen.
So that's it for today. Some random thought with those deep questions. It's another random article so please bear with me hehe. Can't really think of a good plot now to write a story. Too many happenings, my mind is too occupied of some other things that my mind just can't think cooperate. But anyways, Happy Reading. Ciao.
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Medyo ka-sad naman ung number 3. Ako siguro eh baka unsatisfied kasi di pa talaga ako ready and wala pa ko masyadong ikinaka-proud. parang ag konti lang ng achievements ko...
Anyways ang ganda ng mga questions sa site. I am thinking to publish another article regarding din sa mga questions sa site....