It's a Plan! Not Leche Flan and definitely not a Drawing
I guess i really have a lot of friends. It's just that I am the only one who's pushing them away. I am the only one who's blocking them to be in my life again. Merely because of what? My insecurities and some unimportant matter solely just about me and my hanash in my life. Like seriously no, if I want them to stay with me. If I want to have a friend who I can turn into if I need it, I should welcum them wholeheartedly.
But because of my bwakanang shitness about chuchulala, I am just desperately avoiding them like they will do something bad to me. Like we didn't become each others shoulder before. Like we didn't bond and we don't have some dark shits that we are only sharing to each other. Seriously, I hate myself doe pushing them away but it's really my mind who's doing all of that.
I just can't seem to get out on my cocoon as I am afraid that they will force me to open my shell and break everything about me. I mean, I know them for so long and I know they will never do such things but, how to explain that to myself, how am I gonna saksak this ti my kukute that they mean no harm to me. That it is just all of my imagination.
Why I become like this in the first place. Seriously self? Come on self, for fck sake get out in there and go with your friends and do some boys hunting just like what you really want to do! Bond with them, create another memories that you can look back when you get old. If you plan to get old alone then you should do that.
So that even if you have no one on your side to landi landi, you still have those baon memories in you that you can still enjoy while reminiscing the past on your crane or in your old hammock with the old you. Enjoy life while you still can, do anything that you can still do while you can still do it because when you get old.
When all of the disease for the olds come to your body. You won't be able to enjoy your life anymore. Coz you only have a limited strength. You can't run anymore and enjoy the life out there. This is your only chance So go get there and create memories with your friends! Grab some boys too, just for experience 👀 Ciao self.
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So another college friend of mine messaged me on Facebook. Let's call her Haze. Actually, she just ask me if how am I and what's new to me or maybe to our town lol. I just answer I'm good and so close already of becoming a ghost coz of my eyes. You know what you can get on overusing your eyes right? Eyebags and dark circles, huehue.
So I also asked her is how is she and she said malapit na daw sya mabuang, lol. Maybe she has something too that she can't tell. But anyways, she also said she want to go on vacation here in the Philippines. She's currently on U.S werkeng. We only had a short convo and our conversation end up of planning that we should meet once she get home.
I'm still thinking but I just answered yes to her. For sure matagal pa naman mangyayari yon, lol. And then she said, baka daw pagtaguan ko sya, hahaha. I just said off course not. That she can just message me once she arrive here and what's the plan about it. We both agreed that we can talk it more once she's home.
And he's our last message message to each other lelelelel. And by the way, we call ourselves sometimes "Baluga" "Luga" or "Brad." Lol. College days, nay ganyang mga tawagan kami, hihi.
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April 15, 22
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I also distance myself to friends. Siguro kasi wla naman nag.e.effort to look for me =c awwe haha i enjoyed reading your article may mga words na nakakatawa,😂