How Much Does It Cost To Achieve Peace?
As we grow older we've come to realize that all we want in life is peace and solidarity.. but sometimes it's hard to get it especially if you are stuck on a chaotic situation or environment that keeps holding you back to achieve the peace you ever wanted.
Most of the time I think that peace and freedom is always costly, inorder to achieve it you have to pay a price just like what's happening to the world right now.. if only peace can be achieve easily Russia and Ukraine would have not pursue war, it's because both has something they are protecting and fighting for.. both has to pay the price, including the lives of innocents, how much it cost to achieve peace then? I don't know, who knows how much it worth..
When my mother decided to come back to our province I already prepared myself that I have to spent what I am holding for almost a year of earning here and all my crypto hustles. I don't bother about it as I painted on my mind that when I came back to our province I can have peace of mind.. I'll have freedom, I can breathe..
I was happy imagining that I can spend my hard earned money meaningfully because I spent it with my first family, I can share the blessings I got from hustling nonstop.. I can let them have the slice of my pie, I was happy on my imaginations that finally we (me, mom & siblings) will be reunited again after being separated for a long time.
But all of my happy imagination shutters after seeing the reality. The kids that I used to nurse when I was also a kid turns out to be like strangers, the kids that made my childhood memories empty because I haven't enjoyed it as I was just busy keep looking after them as my mom helping my stepdad on finding food.
I was saddened that after all my mother and my sacrifices they didn't appreciate it, they're all happy go lucky. Spent all the little money they had in a day and starve later.
The other one has ambition but I can see that she only focus on building good relationship with her friends rather than on our family.
I was disappointed that the kids I used to love are now hardheaded and doesn't listen.
I came back with mom because I was thinking I can have peace of mind but I was wrong, things are getting even worse than my in-laws place.
My in-laws doesn't treat me bad but they always have issues within their family too that made me annoyed. I know every family has issues and it's normal but I was already exhausted with all the dramas and in stress in life that I cannot handle any of it anymore, I mean I can but I just want to live peacefully as I'm too tired already. I've been battling emotional, psychological and mental distress since I was young..so I just want to rest and have my peace.
I just want to live on my own so I can have my freedom and peace of mind, away from toxicity and plasticity.
But if I'm gonna pursue my own peace of mind that means I've given up to my family (first fam), that means I'll abandon my mother alone and her only choice is to get back on her old routine, to work on other people until her last breath which I don't like..
I don't know what choice I have to make, and I was thinking how much does it cost to achieve peace?
P.S I've written this last week when I was stress, one way of releasing my heavy feelings is through writing.. at least it did help me a little. Sorry for this rant or whatsoever.
Recent personal blog:
Find me at:
Date Published: March 17, 2022