Last Month of Free Teleconsult
I just finished eating my lunch yet my thoughts are still in disarray. This is due to the phone call I made earlier. The call laster just 3 minutes yet it carried an information that made me overthink.
I would just like to inform you that this will be the last month where we would have a teleconsult follow up. The next consultations will be face to face.
These are the words spoken to me by the phone operator when I called the NCMH Outpatient contact number.
I managed to book a teleconsult appointment tomorrow but based on this new information, I would need to go to the NCMH for consultation next time around. Or maybe I could still get a follow up this month but in the next month, it would be face to face consultations only.
Reasons why I am overthinking
The first reason is travel. NCMH is a little bit away from our house. Well it is just 1 jeepney ride away but on a bad day, 1 jeepney ride is all it takes for me to have an anxiety attack.
The next reason why I am overthinking is because NCMH is only open during the weekdays. It is fine to have face to face consultations there this time ariund since I am still on vacation, but what woud happen if I am already having classes? Especially if face to face classes start to make a comeback.
I am hesitant to disclose my mental state to my professors in fear of the stigma surrounding it. Sure, I can tell the world I have bipolar disorder here on the internet but that is only because I am anonymous here. No one knows who I am here. So even if you carry judgement towards my condition, it will not affect me.
But that is not the case when it comes to academics. Some professors might understand my condition and give some considerations but some might not be so understanding. At worse these rofessors might say something that will make my mental state spiral out of control.
What should I do?
I am on the fence right now on what to do.
On one hand, it is tempting to ignore the problem right now. After all, it is not really a problem during vacation. It will only become a problem once I need to attend classes again.
And it might not even become a problem yet since my schedule is not yet known. But supposing that I get passing grades in all my subjects, then I will be 4th year next semester. This means that I will probably have an OJT in the morning and classes in the late afternoon to evening.
So I will be very busy indeed. Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed.
Anyway, a part of my brain is functioning a bit normally right now which led me to come up with a very loose plan of action.
The first thing I have to do would be to finally apply for a PWD ID.
I already have the requirements to apply. I just need to pass it at the City Hall and wait for the ID to be reeased once my documents got approved.
Getting a PWD ID is crucial for me in the following months.
Why?
First reason is that it would give me discounts when I buy my medication. Moreover, it also entails discounts for doctor's appointments.
Let us put it into this perspective. My medication would cost me P3600 per month without discount. If I have a PWD ID I could get a 20% discount which would make my P3600 medication costs down to P2880. That is a difference of P720. I just need to add a bit more to afford going to psychotherapy with that amount.
This also means that a P1800 appointment will become P1440 only. It might not look like a big discount but it is already a lot for me.
It is still not a very affordabe alternative though. Because this would mean I need to avail private services again over the free services just so I could have my consultations on a weekend instead of weekdays. I am not yet sure how to proceed yet but I will just take it easy for now.
Closing words
As you can see, my mind is a bit of a mess right now. I was told that writing down my thoughts is a good way of coping when I am starting to overthink so that is basically what I am doing here.
Anyway, it seems that I am going to face some difficulties in my treatment plan in the next few months. Hopefully, I can think of a way to maximize the free services without sacrificing too much money.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
Overthinking really overtakes my day so what I do is just let it flow. I know it will ruin my day so I just think that if every I worry or not, the outcome will not be the same.