An Unexpected Plot Twist in my Life
When the semester started, I promised myself that I will do my best. Yet as the months went on, I found myself begging for just the passing grades.
I did not care whether or not I became a part of the Dean's List again. All I had wanted was to get the passing mark.
For those of you in other countries, we have a different grading system here. In foreign countries, I believe that 4.00 is the highest grade one could get.
Here, at our university we use a different system. 1.00 is the highest grade a student could get. And the lowest mark is 3.00. The 4.00 here is a conditional passing grade. It means that it can become a 3.00 or a 5.00, depending on the student and the professors. While 5.00 is a failing mark. Then INC is incomplete.
Anyway, going back to my story today. Since I was struggling with so many things this semester, I found myself letting go of my goal to be a part of Dean's List again.
I was content to have 3.00 on all my subjects. Well, not all since I did my best still. Just some subjects that I had difficulty with.
What are these struggles I had?
These struggles are something that I have been open about at this platform. Although in real life, only a select few knew of my condition.
The first and most important reason why I gave up on being in the Dean's List is that my symptoms were overwhelming. These symptoms include anxiety attacks, deep sadness that lasts for a long time, sleeping problems, eating problems, concentration problems and there are other more symptoms but those are the most problematic for me.
Imagine how difficult it would have been if your mind is thinking of everything that happened and could happen in the future, all the while ignoring the activities due that day. Now imagine that feeling multiplied ten times. Maybe then, that would give you an idea how intense the symptoms I have felt this entire semester.
It was not a case of laziness where I could have done the activities any time. Nor was it a case of procrastination. It was a consequence of the undiagnosed problem I had before.
Although, thankfully, as some of you may know, I managed to get the help I needed which provided me with a working diagnosis and a treatment plan.
While the treatment plan will be goo in the long term, the side effects I had to go through provided another challenge which really solidified my wish to just get passing marks and I would have been happy.
The grades are out
Students like me know that the official end of the semester is not where the battle ends. It is just the hardest part of the battle which is waiting for the grades to be encoded.
Some may be confident, usually those who understood the topics well and know that they niled every examination and activities. While regular students are glued to their student portal waiting for each grades to be encoded.
And then there is me who had anxiegy attacks about my grades yet I did not know when the encoding of grades will be nor did I have the courage to check it from time to time.
I usually wait for my classmates to tell on the group chat that the grades are now complete.
I did a different approach this time though. I check it every time a classmate message about an update in our grades. This means that I checked the portal 3 times.
The first one, only 3 grades were encoded. Those are from the subjects that I somehow expected to pass so it did not ease my anxiety. Nope, not even a single bit.
The next one, only 1 subject were not yet encoded. Before I opened my student portal to peek at my grades, I repeated my wish and prayed for 3.00 or just passing marks for the two subjects I was so worried about.
Why am I worried about those two subjects? Well because I did not feel like I learned anything in the subjects. I literally felt like I was just faking the little understanding I managed to answer for the exams and activities for those subjects.
Below is the screenshot of my grades. The first column includes the subject codes. The next one is the grades. The one next to the grades are the units. While the last column is filled with the subject descriptions.
The subjects I was worried about were ICE10 and ICE11. Those subjects were hell for me. The professor is the same for both subjects. He is our Department Head and he is a great professor. I was just really not at my best so I was unable to appreciate his efforts.
But seeing that my highest grade (1.25) is for the subject Final Control Element (ICE11), the same subject I cried about because I was struggling so bad, it made me feel so relieved. I literally felt my heart stopped when I saw the numbers.
At this point, I was already out of the anxious zone.
But I developed a new anxiety. The thought that ran through my head was that I wish I could still be a part of this semester's Dean's List.
Based on the screenshot, I can be a part of our Department's Dean's List. The requirements for that are grades must not be lower than 2.50, and the GWA must not be lower than 2.00. Easily achieved unless you are in an engineering program, which of course is my program.
I was quite sure that I did my best on the last subject with no grade yet. It was actually one of the subjects that I was able to understand since it was mostly computation. Yeah, it must have caused some to raise their eyebrows. Honestly, if highschool me could read that, she would definitely be laughing in disbelief because I hate math and computation and numbers. I have no idea why I chose an engineering program so don't ask me.
Anyway, today the grades are finally completed.
Here is a screenshot of my complete grades. Honestly, I really want tk laugh at the ICE12 grade since the professor only met us once for the whole semester yet he had the audacity to give that grade. I will not complain though since it could have been worse. He could have given me 2.75 in which case I would complain, just kidding.
These grades are a huge plot twist for me since it is so unexpected considering my situation in the last few months.
This is my GWA (1.81) for the semester. It is higher than I expected. I feel very orpud of myself.
I just actually finished submitting my requirements for the Dean's List. Although I never actually share my achievement on my Facebook profile. I just let it stay on our Department's page. I only share my achievement privately but I figured I could share this with those in read.cash.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
Yieeee congrats sis