Live Your Life on your Own. I Saw this in a Korean Drama - My Roommate is a Gumiho and this caught my attention. I once again, had a deep thought about my life. And you know I'm not getting any younger but I'm still to lazy to move out from this house and maybe try to live on my own? Yeah like that. I want to experience to live alone, you know paying bills on my own. Buy foods and cook on my own. After a tiring and exhausting work for 12 hours I will get home on my rented apartment and will take care of my own needs.
I know some here even at a young age started their life even if they are not adult yet. But because of some circumstances and because of their Dreams they decided to work and stand on their own. Not just for themselves but for their family. They are doing anything that they can just to live their life. While me? Gosh, my goals and dreams was just keep on adding in my Bucket List but nothing here is ever done. I mean, I'm still stuck on the four corner of my room. Well, I earn yes but how about those other things that I really want to do.
And for sure reading this will make you just annoyed because I keep on ranting about how my life ia not moving or why my life is still down there when I'm not even doing anything to change it. I'm just all talk and not taking any step or put into action those plan that I have created. While others is making a leap in taking a step or making their life go higher in the zenith. Me, I'm still here waiting for the apple to land on my mouth, lying on my bed earning Bitcoincash. Oh wait wait wait, I'm actually making a progress here right? Please tell me it's a yes UwU.
But I'm still amazed to those kids out there who can stand on their own feet without the help of the others. I mean you know, they can act without the guidance of the oldies. They are slowly but surely making a progress that can can for sure give a better life for them in the future - only if they put it into good use, right? And, how about those youngsters who travel from a far away land very far from their family suffering from homesickness. Wahh, they are just amazing. I think what's pushing them to do it with determination is their big dreams and goals in life.
As for me, I want to rent an apartment in the City and explore whatever I can explore there. I actually want to explore a man's P - I mean D - errr nevermind. I want to do a lot of things including bringing a man in my apartment and do some adult stuffs. Like cooking together and being lovey dovey and all, lol. Wae? I just want to experience it even once haha. It would be perfect if I can do this right. A lot of reason was stopping me. Even if I want to, even if I really really want to my mind just can't cooperate to my wants.
If I really want it I think Mom won't stop me from doing it. It's just that, I am thinking about them to that's why I can't decide yet. Mommy is old and I'm her "Human Tungkod" so whenever we're going something I'm beside her guiding her. Her knees can't just walk without a cane but she doesn't want to use it. What for if she have naman daw, lol. She also said that she's not an invalid person to use a case, and we will just sigh and just indulge her, lol. So yeah, I have to consider a lot of things before deciding to work far from here.
I don't want to work here in our place, I want to go somewhere where no one knows me or my face. I want to walk on the road without minding other people talking behind my back, like some kind of Marites, you know her right? Lol. I don't know I'm not comfortable walking on our neighborhood, I always feel like hiding my face to everyone. But I think if I am living to a place where no one can recognize me, then my life will be at peace. It's not like people here are gossiper no it's not like that. It's just that I'm too shy to, ah just whatever.
How am I gonna live my life on my own if I'm like this? Huehue. Should I just find a man and who will impregnate me and be a housewife? Just thinking of it is enough to make me feel dizzy, UwU I think I'm not ready. Life begin at 40 naman so maybe I can wait nalang, ahhh whatever huehue.
Sorry about this guys, the effect of birthday blues. I'll turn 17 year ol na tomorrow and I feel like it's too fast. I mean, that fast? Agad agad? I feel like it's only yesterday when I am just a student. My Thought is just about our project, exams, quizzes and those never ending defense, haysst. I hate to admit it but I also miss those times.
Can I go back to the time where I don't have to think of my future and just think only of how I can pass those subject? Lol.
Lead Image from Unsplash
August 28, 2021