I wish to be in their place! I wish I have what they have! I wish I am beautiful as them so that I can easily get anyone I like. I want to be someone else, I want to escape from my reality. I am doubting myself that's why I want out. But how? No one is ready to take my hand, they afraid that they will get the bad luck that I have. For them I am just a curse, but I just want to live. And they saw it as a bridge, to put me down and grieve.
Yeah, beautiful is life but for me it is as hideous as my life. No one want me in their life, because I might transfer something in their perfect life. I know, they saw me as a worm. Just a bait for the the salmon in their poop. Lucky them, but I just have 1 cents in my pocket, got it from the bottle that someone throw in my garments. Yo' I can't just imagine how fvcked up my life is. Why some can get a Hermes while I can't even get just a piece of clothing?
They will throw me their dirt, wish this time they throw me some chicken. I will catch it for sure so I'm just waiting. Please, just the feet part with cheese. Or even nothing I'm at ease. As long as I can have something for my peace. And I will sleep peacefully while my stomach was filled. With the meat, you throw at me even if it's smell, I can eat it in days. But instead of meat, you throw me your spit and force me to lick it. I just want a piece of what you're eating, but why you have to make me swallow, you're sick shit.
I'm sick of this life, anyone who's ready to lend a hand? I want to see the light you're seeing, just a glimpse of it and I'm ready to cut my fingers. I will swallow my pride just to get a taste of your life and I mean it. It's just that, it's hard to stay in the pit, digging my own shelter using my hand is just impossible and I hate it. The dirt on my nail, it won't come off. I tried to cut it but it's still printed in it. I had no choice but to cut my fingers, and now I'm complete, tho I only have 9 fingers.
Lucky those who was born in the bed, while me I don't even know if I have a Dad and Mom or did I just appear in the dump? And no one ever try to save me from ant. Yeah, I survive this - but did I really survive if I'm like this extending my hand with a blade in hand. Tryna pick a money in someone else's bum. Lucky me if I successfully land, my evil hand who was force to steal so that I can put a grams of drugs.
Drugs that makes me feel like I'm in heaven. Even if a short time I can forget the life - that I fvcking have. It helps me forget that I have a burdensome life. That I am alone, and no one wants me in their sight. This is the ninth times, and I said this is the last time. But I said it already for a hundred of times, and here I am smoking my lifetime. I can't stop now, this is my addiction now.
Better than thinking of building a crown that I will throw to all of the people that will hunt me down. It makes me dizzy, it makes me high. But the feeling is just I'm in heaven now. And with a blade in hand, I make a face of the devil and run around. Swaying my hand at the ugly faces of those who pissed when they saw me with my blade in hand, who's the boss now. And with one strike, one eyeball fly in rhyme. And I'm out to fly in mars.
Wehee, heyoo everyone. I don't know if this has sense. I mean, to me it is but I don't know to you, you don't know me, but I know you. Who we are? We are meant to be. Wahahaha, oh Gosh naloka na naman ako. But I hope you like it. I wrote this with Eminem in my mind. I just like how he can rhyme his every words. And I also tried it but I don't know, judge it if you want. And sorry for my grammar. You all know that I'm not good in English, tho I know that "Mahal Kita" is "I Love You" in English.
By the way, my Title came from the song Mars sang by Yungblud. I don't know, just look for their connection 🙈.
Enjoy, and Happy Cooking!
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August 9, 2021
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Napatanong din ako, may life sa ba sa Mars? Ikaw na talaga ang Queen of Fiction dear.