Have you wished you were someone else?
Don’t wish to be someone else. Yes, that’s true, because you are YOU, and you should be proud of that. You are perfect just the way you are.
I didn't mean it literally when I say you are perfect “Just the way you are”. That does not necessarily mean you’ll just stay contented with your current abilities, when you can become a better version of it. Why settle for less, when you are meant for more? The point is, you should not wish to be someone else, because you are not them. It’s just that. Others have their own beauty and strengths, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE YOUR OWN, TOO.
I agree that it is oftentimes difficult to see the good in yourself. I can definitely relate to that, trust me. It’s much easier to see the good in others, like how her eyes look mesmerizing, his shoulders broad and wide, and even to non-physical attributes, such as how others are good in a particular subject, how confident they are, and many more. And the bad thing is when we start telling ourselves the opposite immediately, “I am not”, “I don’t have that”, or “I wish I had that”, and anything else, that may have different wordings, but still point out to what became like a normal habit of the most of us, if not all—comparing ourselves to others. Low self-esteem. Envy.
I have read years ago in one Instagram post a quote that goes along the lines of these:
“Somewhere, someone out there wishes he/she has your eyes, or your personality, or your looks. Someone out there is mesmerized by you, and wishes they have what you have. So, be confident.”
It’s hard to believe, but yeah, it’s true. Like what I said above, most of us have the tendency to wish to have what others have, be it about the physical and non-physical attributes, or material things, or whatever it is, and others may feel it towards you, too! Don’t take it in the negative way, though, that you only gain confidence because somebody envies you. Use this as a reminder to yourself that you are beautiful, that you should also see the good things in you that others do.
I can attest to this because I experienced it, too. There was one time I opened up to my friends about how I feel insecure about my body. I did not like my body which was “not slim enough”, my calves, my arms, and other things. Then at least two of them told me something I didn't really expect. They told me they want my height, that I have a nice body proportion, actually, that my weight looked normal and healthy, actually ideal, and that it’s suitable for any type of outfits. All these compliments, that I, without any lie nor understatement, DID NOT see in myself, ever. I was quick to point out my “flaws” that it’s hard for me to absorb what they say. I am telling you, that very same night, I looked into my photos again, and I started appreciating the good points my friends made. It’s as if what they said is just a new discovery to me, a discovery to appreciate my own, unique beauty.
There are still days, though, that I still look at others and wish I have their hands, their small waistline, or other things that affect my perception of myself. But I can say I am definitely improving now, because before I get into the rabbit hole of envy, I start to tell myself good things, and remind myself that the most beautiful version of me is the REAL, unfiltered ME.
Have you also wished to live others’ lives, too? My, I am not exempt in this area, as well. Admit it or not, whenever we are having a hard time in our lives, we begin mentioning some people, commonly the rich ones, and whine how their lives are easier than us. I remember that one time in my highschool days, actually, where I wished I was born rich, so I won’t have to struggle with food nor allowance anymore. I thought back then how unfair life was, and questioned why others have it easier.
While I transitioned into adulthood, I soon came to realize that everyone actually struggled, at least, once in their lives. Just wishing to live others’ lives just meant having a different set of trials, or difficulty, maybe. I think so.
Let me say this, though. You may still think of some certain people who definitely are lucky in life, until now, and did not seem to encounter any hardships in life… and wish you’re them. I can’t blame you, because, again, I sometimes do that, too.
Well, here’s the thing. Just thinking these saddening thoughts doesn't really help the situation, right? If I just went on wishing I was Taylor Swift now, would it happen? Will I just wake up one day being the multi-awarded phenomenal artist like she is? No, unless I work for it, maybe. But no, I am not Taylor Swift, and I am never gonna be Taylor Swift.
So please remember these whenever you feel like wishing you’re someone else. First, see the good in you. I know it’s hard, but if you try hard enough, look further enough, you can find the best in you, even without others’ help. You can start with the small things, until you feel better and a little bit more confident each day. Did I make someone smile today? Did I do a good job at work? Oh, this shirt really looked good on me.
Second, take action, so you can be that person you want yourself to be. And I hope that person is still YOU. You can have other people as inspiration, but always see to it that what you see in your future, is still yourself, not patterned from others’ story, nor copied from their own blueprint. Instead work on it in a way that you build your own path towards that version of yourself that you want.
I am not saying this will be easy. If it was, then no one’s gonna have insecurity issues by now, right? It’s hard, but it’s not impossible. I hope we can do it, too, like how others were able to overcome their own low self-esteem, until they became the confident, 'unbothered' people we look up to today. These people may or may still have their insecurity issues, but the difference is they are working harder in getting rid of and managing this tendency. And thus, they become an inspiration to us.
Be strong, my friend. And if you are, continue to be. You don’t know whom you are inspiring right now. –Unknown.
Ps. I wrote this, because I am feeling extra ugly today. Insecurities are overwhelming me again, and honestly, it's hard to fight negative thoughts. But I am still fighting, that's what's important. I will win this, absolutely. I will.
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Lead Image is a photo I took right before I started writing this.