Dear Diary, Indefinite Inactivity

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Avatar for Ellehcim
2 years ago

01/08/2022

That's it, for now. Not certain, not sure. But I won't leave. I will still visit to do my usual thing here, but I can't promise to publish everyday—for NOW.

Things have been so hectic here. After work, it's either I sleep earlier than usual, or I had to do other things. I can tell you that I tried. I tried to make it work, but my capacity was limited.

My colleague once again got sick so I had to take over her work. Again. Honestly, it's not her fault. So, I am not annoyed od her. No one wants to get sick. Maybe it's the fact that I am also already not feeling the best emotionally these days, and yet, I had to do additional work. That task is stressful to be, truth be told. I don't wanna sound negative, nor sound like a victim here, but it's how I feel at the moment. There were days this week that I felt unfair. I had many not-so-beautiful thoughts, but as you can see, I am still here.

The past week was so exhausting. I have always been doing this, doing someone else's job, I mean, but I can't still get used to it. Adding to it were the times I make mistakes, and it makes me more upset. The thing is, I am more anxious especially when I am doing something not really within my scope. But what can I do? I am the one left with the task. The great reliever.

Of all times, dear. Of all times, people got sick at the beginning of the year. If you are an accounting person, you'll understand me. We have many things and reports to finish, especially to close last year's transactions. I also had many deadlines on my own, and now another set of deadlines are adding. It's too much for me. I am not gonna lie when I say that I sometimes wished I could be brave enough to take a leave, but that would be rude, right? We are chasing for deadlines, no one is left to do the job except me, and I'd leave?

Anyway, I am still thankful I have someone there who's willing to help. I don't feel too alone nor burdened after all, at least, in some areas. Moreover, my sick colleague will be back the week after the next. It will be another five painful days of additional work to do, but those days will hopefully be the last.

I now have realized that one thing I'd not like in work, is taking over someone's job LOL. Unless, I know how to do it well. In my case right now, I am doing a so-so job. Actually I made three mistakes yesterday. It was yesterday, and I still can't forget it. It seemed like a big deal to me. That's why I feel more upset.

Right now, I am listening to music to ease the feeling I have. Unexplainable feeling of relief, because it's finally weekend. You don't know how much I waited for this day. I wish I would not be so busy next week. I really hope so. The other feeling is acceptance.

You know, nothing good will just happen if I continue to think nor feel negatively. It's I who will suffer too, if I continued feeling salty or unfair, right? So, what I just did whenever the annoying alarm rings, is to take breathing exercises, pray, and try to feel happy.

It was hard to relax, and I admit that I have been in lot of personal tensions last week. Since it's something I know little about, I am slower in doing the process, of course. What normally takes less than an hour for her, took two hours when I did it. I looked funny, I must have. I was running up and down the office to process and release checks, answer suppliers, and do my main job, too.

Whenever the day ends, I feel so much relieved, because I got through another day. There were also benefits to becoming more busy.

First, since I also mostly worked on the coffee breaks, I was not able to use the time to buy snacks. Therefore, I got myself free of additional expenses, and of additional foods to cause fats, too. Lol. That's really beneficial to me. Moreover, I feel like I understand what I am doing now. I always learn something new everyday. Compared to when I first took over the job that I was so clueless and called her multiple times a day to ask about stuff I don't know, now I call less frequently. This colleague is so good at answering my inquiries. I am actually amazed at how she handles her job. When I do it, I feel so rushed and really messed up, but whenever I see her, she is more relaxed and has a more organized process, so she does not mess it up. She really got the hang of it. I wanna be like that, too. Get well soon, my friend. And clean up the mess I have made so far LOL.


Okay, I did not notice this has been long. Maybe it's because I did not visit here for three days, and I feel like it will happen again next week.

I'd still try to visit articles and upvote them, and still interact, though I may not ne able to publish articles consistently like before. Thus, indefinite inactivity. When this situation ends, and when I am ready again, I will make sure to become more active and do a better job, like how I could post one article a day.

But for now, I will have a sort of break, so as to not exhaust myself too much.

I appreciate everyone who still comes by and remembers me. I always appreciate you who reads my blogs, and interact with me. You are amazing.


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2 years ago

Comments

Awww, ako nga na di naman ganon kabigat ang ginagawa feeling ay pagod na agad what more sauo. Not just your body amg mapapasgod pati utak aguyy. Sana okay kana, sana pilitin mo na maging okay 🤗

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Pinipilit at eto, buhay pa. Salamat, marengs!

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Alrightuuuuu basta fighting marengsss

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Syempre namern. Bawi ako talaga.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Lols. High five on finance beginning of the year ending of the year, ending of the month ackkkkk. One of the things I was thankful for being transfered from finance side to testing side. I am no longer looking for the missing balance item.

You do take care of yourself, though.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Oh, hahaha, good for you! I love what I do, jt's just really stressful oftentimes. 😝

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Let's just do what we can. We can only do as much here in read or in real life. Good luck! I hope everyone will be okay so you don't have to do others' jobs.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Thanks a lot! Few more waiting! 🙏

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Always keep safe dear 🤗

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thanks, Melissa. ♥️

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Akala ko ako lang yung nakakaramdam ng sobrang pagod kahit I'm not doing that much siguro mas nakapagod yung sayu sis.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Hahaha, lahat talaga may own definition ng pagod. Ako more on mental exhaustion dahil sa pressure etc. Tas may physical tiredness din talaga.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Pareho tayo sis since Christmas day pa ako stress kc nag relieve din ako sa sked ng iba, lately I can't write anything at all kc super pagod na talaga ako pagdating sa bahay... Started catching up just last night, hopefully tuloy2x na ako sa usual pace ko.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Go, go go! Ako bahala na kung kailan kayanin.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hinga lang kapatid kaya yan hehe. Yeah I felt you, yung ini-isip mo palang na di mo naman trabaho pero tinutorture ka hahaha. That's the reason why I quit my precious job LOL. I felt that I am not happy anymore minding others that wasn't fit on my signed contract hahaha. Not telling you need to quit huh. Hehe breath and takes coffee nalang

$ 0.05
2 years ago

You are actually giving me ideas, mah friend. 😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Seriously, I thought of you today that it has been a while I noticed you. I hope you will be able to cope pending the time your colleague would get well again. It´s not easy taking someone else´s responsibility with yours. It would be so difficult but I believe you will do your best. Just come here whenever you are chanced.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Quite unbelievable right? I used to be so active here, but I guess priorities aren't permanent. Wait til I am free, I will be active here again ♥️

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It seems like a lot of people get sick around this time. The omicron is spteading fast I got it, but I am now fully recovered. Also flu season so double trouble. It will be ok soon I hope.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Oh my.. Good to know you feel better now. I am fine and did not have the virus, but I think I am close to getting sick with all these busy tasks I do for more than a week already 😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

January is always full of work, you have to stay strong 💪

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I shall stay strong. Thanks for cheering me on! ♥️

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Taking over others duty can be so strenuous and stressful as well but the job can not be left undone

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Very true! I feel it until now.. The stress I mean. 😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Take time to rest more dear

I wrote an article some hours ago. I don't know if you might want to check it out.

https://read.cash/@Success.1/i-can-handle-factors-that-wont-make-the-year-2022-journey-smooth-a4c28120

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Sure, I will come visit when I have time. ♥️

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Seems like you had busiest week,Hope you can relax this weekend

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thanks. :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I feel you, january is the busiest month of the year. Plus renewals of business permits. Were in same situation as Some of our officemates got sick too! We dont have a choice but have some or thier works

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Nakakawa din yung mga nagkakasakit ano? Kasi dagdag stress pa nila. Haynaku, tong COVID na ito kasi ayaw pa lumayas. 🤧

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hay truth sis, hindi din tuloy kami magkandaugaga

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hahaha, kaya natin ito bes. Laban lang! 🙏

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2 years ago

Haha jusme nakakaloka ba kaya😂

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2 years ago