To sleep the day away
I thought I was on the road to having stable moods for life. After all, I am following the doctor's instructions and I even went beyond that to make sure that my treatment plan will work.
I have been taking my medication regularly. I am also attending therapy sessions to better understand myself and learn healthy coping mechanisms. And I even tried establishing a routine. I read that a daily routine would lessen the chances of relapse.
Moreover, I also followed my previous psychologist's advice to spend time with my loved ones when I am having a hard time.
So I do not understand why I am on the brink of another depressive episode.
This is article is mostly just me venting my frustrations.
I feel like a failure for feeling this way. Moreover, I did not see anythin wrong with me getting a PWD ID but an instance yesterday made me feel like I should not have done that.
I know that it is difficult to fight the stigma that many has especially for invisible disability but it was still an uncomfortable feeling when someone close to me made me doubt my decision of using my PWD ID.
It was as if I was supported when I got it becuse they knew I would get in anyway, but then they do not support my decision to use it.
I try to understand their actions. After all, who would want to see a loved one be discriminated or judged. But I hope they know that their judgement of my decisions and condition are the ones that affect me instead of strangers' judgement. I do not really care about what strangers thought of me.
Speaking of PWD ID earlier reminded me of my anxiety about using or disclosing it to future companies that I apply to. So I decided to post my thoughts to a support group for those with Bipolar disorder.
And the responses I received were difficult to read. Since there were others who shared how they were discriminated and turned away from a job the moment they disckose their condition.
Then there was one whi disclosed his condition and the company required him to get a monthly medical certificate and a fit for work notice from psychiatrist. He advised me to not disclose it since it will open room for more expenses.
Of course, there were comforting comments such as that I have no need to disclose it unless there is a drug test for the medical exam. There is a comment saying that some failed their drug test since they did not disclose that they are taking medication for bipolar. I am not sure how true their claims are though.
Some also shared their success story where they found companies who value diversity and accepted their disability with an open mind.
Basically, it all boils down to either not disclosing it or finding a progressive company who will be open minded about my condition.
Closing words
As I was typing this, I am using my smart hula hoop to exercise. I had not been able to exercise for a few days because of the symptoms I am experiencing so being able to exercise again is nice. The sad thing is it did not do anything to lift my mood haha. But that is okay, maybe my mood will get better after eating breakfast.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
Kelan kaya magiging inclusive yung mga companies when it comes to people dealing with mental problems no? Hays.