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What a Feeling!

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Avatar for Ruffa
Written by   996
4 months ago

A lot of thought is running in my head in the last few days, I mean this one started since a few week ago pa my gosh until today. I don't know why I'm thinking those nonsense when in fact it's not that really important. I feel like a mad and crazy woman fighting with myself like I'm some kind of argh, I hate this seriously. I can't really understand myself this day. Sala sa init sa lamig ang peg and it's not cool anymore. I'm losing my focus and I can't think of a topic anymore.

If before It's easy for me to think of a topic like my experiences, now because of those thought that's making me crazy this day I am having a hard time na to think of a good one. Well, I know that my article is not that good and maybe the simplest one here in read.cash but writing them is just, hayhhh. I need to take a deep breath here because I'm losing my focus again. A lot of things is getting my attention and I am soooo distracted!

And seriously, this thought is not really about in so many things. It is actually just one thing and pabalik balik nalang sa utak ko yan. I'm fighting with myself it's actually my heart vs. my mind. And it's it's not easy to decide on this one especially if you have to fight with yourself. Ahh, I don't know anymore. It's not easy seriously, I'm crazy yeah. I did a lot of things just to remover this not so important thought in my head but, it's zero, nil, nada. As in nothing, it still here and it's getting in my nerves now.

I already tried listening to some cool music because this one is very effective to me when I have a headache so I thought it will too in this kind of thing, like you know thinking a lot but about for only one thing. So I listen to it, at first it's effective because I forget all of the things on my head but after some time. I'm back again on thinking about it. Ahh, this is hopeless. Pauli uli sya sa isip ko, I don't know what to do anymore. I have to do something about it but the I solution that I thought will resolve it is not very effective.

I just want a piece of mind and stop this madness because it's not healthy anymore, yeah it is that bad. I want to have an amnesia so that I can forget it all, completely. It's just hard to do it because no matter how hard I try to put it in my head, puso pa rin ang nanaig. My heart always win and I can't stop it even if I want to because in my mind I also want it. I enjoy doing those things I did for "It" and Even if I regret it later the thing is, I did it with open heart and soul.

But doing those crazy things for it is so exhausting. Aside from I can get a heartache doing it, it's ouch. It's annoying and I hate it. But what can I do, as if I can talk to it to stop doing what it's doing. I can't and I don't want to expose my real feeling and it's not so right, I hate myself yeah. It's crazy. I already said what I want to say. Now I think I can finally move on. Releasing it is actually good. I just hope that I can erase "It" on my system completely after this litanya.


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June 5, 2021

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Avatar for Ruffa
Written by   996
4 months ago
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Comments

Nalito ang puso at isip ko sayo kung anong uunahin ko..haaayyy baby gerl..haha

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4 months ago

Hahahahq, anlaaa alin yon Noona 😵😵😂

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4 months ago

hahaha naguluhan ako sayo kung ano yung "It " eh hahaha..ang alam ko jan kakain hahha

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4 months ago

Ahahahahaha, gomenasai Noonaaaa 😂😂😵😵

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4 months ago

hahaha joke lang baby gerl...labyu!

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4 months ago

Relax muna sissy tapos e enjoy mo sarili mo. Okay lang yan na bumabalik ganun talaga kasi di natin agad agad nawawala sa systema natin ang bagay bagay. Na para bang, ayyy gusto ko na mawala yun, bling charaaaannn wala na. Nako walang ganun. Dahan dahan, mawawala din yan. ☺️🥰

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4 months ago

Ang hirap na kasi sis, masyado na syang sagabal sa utak ko. I need space! Charot haha. Pero kasi naman ee aigoo.

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4 months ago

Hihihi been there. I know mawawala din yan. ☺️ Time will heal kumbaga. Wag mo pilitin kasi pagka pilitin mo lalo yan magsusumiksik sa utak mo at lalo kang di makaka move.

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4 months ago

Hayyss, ang hirao lang. Dati naman easy lang sakin ting nga ganitong bagay, pero ngayon. Haysss

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4 months ago

Pray ka sis. Malaking tulong din yun. ☺️

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4 months ago

Ganyan nalang gagawin ko. Salamat ,🤗

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4 months ago

Effective 100% yan sis. Tapos, open mo din ang heart mo. ☺️

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4 months ago

Try some mind exercises, watch a movie or go out somewhere to refresh your mind. Hope you will get peace of mind.

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4 months ago

I'm watching a series actually but it will go back again, of thinking about it sad.

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4 months ago

Kumain ka nalang ng marami Ropa ikain natin yan. Wag ka muna magpapadalos dalos ng pagiisip kung anong isusulat, if you want to have some one, explore some questions nalang sa Google and answer it with your own experiences and opinions and or you can explore in your place too maybe , you can go to the places that you always go noong mga bata kapa or high school kapa ganon. Capture it with some nice shoots and kwento kwento nalang here

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4 months ago

Hahaha, pagkain lang talaga ang sagot pramis haha. Kaso wala pambili 😭😭😂.

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4 months ago

baka you're overthinking na

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4 months ago

Yeah, super overthinking na.m talaga,

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4 months ago

Anong foods ba gusto mo pagkain lang katapat nyan hehehe, if tropa mo ko at malapit ka ayain kita sa pwedeng makainan at kwentuhan lang hehe, kung ano man yan Ruffa san kaya mo yan, peace of mind ba kamo? Mag unwimd ka or mag meditate ka sa bahay 😁 don't think of other stuffs you can do it. Yung interaction ginagawa ko na just as you said hanggat may time hehe

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4 months ago

Marami Patty kun, pizza, burger, cake, chocolate, hatdog sandwich, at marami pang iba 🤤😂. Nakakaasar nga ayaw talaga nya matanggal sa utak ko, pabalik balik akoy liyo na talaga kakaisip, ay naku. But anyway, sikapin ko nalang kalimutan to, sana kaya.

Good luck sa pagkakalat ng lagim, madami ka ding makaka close dito for sure 💪

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4 months ago

What seems to bother you madam?

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4 months ago

Just something madam, di baga maalis sa isip ko, kaasar na din ay

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4 months ago

Dami mo kc iniisip madam.. Bawas bawasan mo.. Kung ano man yan, just think that you are blessed enough

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4 months ago

Kaya madam, pero iisa lang naman ang tema ee. Un lang ng un 😩

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4 months ago

I hope you will. Maybe give yourself a good yoga poses in the morning. Embrace the thoughts and let it flow freely while inhaling and exhaling. I would also advice you to do the yoga that I have learn from here it is a yoga where you need to move walking back and forth while saying every step that your walking.. ex. When you step in the right foot say right and when left say left at least four step and going back say walk for the rigth and king for the left.. or anything you like to do say to yourself what you are doing. It will bring back your focus. I hope it will help you.

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4 months ago

Oh my, thank you for this. I will try this para maalis na yong isipin ko na ito. Ang o.a na kasi, maiba na my gudness ,😩

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4 months ago

You can overcome it. I believe in you. Aja !

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4 months ago

Hirap talaga pag ganyan sis dibale kung ano man yan naisulat mo na feeling mo kaya sana makalag move on kana. 😊 Gambatte! 😅

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4 months ago

Sobra, till now di pa rin tapos yong isipin ko na un. Asar na ako, gusto ko nalamg maging tae. Baka walang pandama iyon 😵

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4 months ago

haha. loko. di wala ng magpapasaya sa amin.

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4 months ago

Hahaha, naniii oo nga 😵

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4 months ago

And do you know what i am thinking these days?? Shit from that wife dream in nap,now i start to think about girl too much which lead me to have new dream about marriage every night and do not know why this happen too.. I need to get out from this

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4 months ago

What ahahaha, but maybe you just have to get yourself a girl so that you finally rest your brain, haha

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4 months ago

Yah but i am not yet strong in financial way😜

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4 months ago

Just a girlfriend, you don't need a lot of money just to get a gf right 🙄

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4 months ago

Here bad boy get gf only but i am introvert one😂

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4 months ago

But why they like a bad boy 🙄

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4 months ago

Because of done many relationship already 😆

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4 months ago

Halaaa same tayo ate. I usually listen to music when I have a headache. Parang mas narerelax ako, minsan mga rock songs basta masasaya na kanta. Ansakit kasi talaga sa ulo pag maraming iniisip e. Dapat di tayo masyado mastress mababawasan ganda natin. HAHAHA

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4 months ago

Hala baka magkapatid tayo sa past life natin, dami nating pagkakapareho 😱😂. The best and rock song naku, mas nakaka ease oa ng sakin lalo na pag yong tunog ng bass ang maririnig, nakaka 🤩

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4 months ago

Hahaha baka ngaaa aa hmm 🤔 Hala napapasayaw pa ako kung minsan nalilimutan ko na badtrip ako hahaha. Talagang nakaka 😍

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4 months ago

Hahaha ako naman napapa headbang nga haha

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4 months ago

O diba ang saya saya hahaha yung badtrip ka tapos maya maya nagheheadbang ka na para kang baliw 😆

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4 months ago

Ahahaha, nmat least di nabaliw sa kakaisip sa kanya hueheueheu 😂

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4 months ago

Edi mabuti HAHAHA. Goods yan 😆

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4 months ago

Try and rest for a while ateeeee 🥺 and thoughts are just thoughts, pabayaan mo lang po lumipas 😬

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4 months ago

Till now, yon pa rin talaga nasa isip ko grabi. Nakakaumay na pero yong utak ko sige pa rin ee. Kaasar ,😩

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4 months ago

Mas napansin ko playlist mo. Mahilig ka din pala sa band songs? 🤩

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4 months ago

Yesuuu, the best mga kanta nila 🤩. I also love old songs din hehe

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4 months ago

Nice nice. Sobrang mahilig din ako sa mga bands di lang da Kpop groups. Lalo na sa Linkin Park, Mayday Parade, Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, P!ATD at iba pa hahahah

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4 months ago

Maraming magagandang band noon ee. Ang gaganda ng kanta nila the best talaga. We the Kings maganda din yan.

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4 months ago