I start reading pocketbook when I was still in Elementary, I discovered it thanks to my Mama. She's a fan of pocketbook, but before pocketbook she also read Comics before where some stories with illustration on it. What my Mama's reading is a tagalog pocketbook so I can still understand it. And that's why I become addict in pocketbook until College days.
My Mama is really not that good in hiding her pocketbook that's why no matter how hard she hide it. I can still find it. Reading a pocketbook is really refreshing. I can learn new words especially if the writer in Ms. Martha Cecilia. She's using a lot of deep word on her stories, even Ms. Gilda Olvidado. I also love her stories but some of them is really for adults but it's okay, lol.
You know, I can't help myself from falling in love in the Character of their stories because they are sweet, kind, know how to make a woman feel loved and they are perfect. I can only see a perfect Man on their stories and that's why I can't help myself but to dream of finding a man like them. Those character that when they get jealous they will really become possessive and I find it very sweet.
And since then, I started to find someone who can be my own Nathaniel who really love his Jasmine, he's a jealous type of a and he's the epitomy of perfection. I also want my own Romano, a rude, rouge, rough and rich man who love Bobbie so much. But he's kinda hard to understand lol. If you are a Martha Cecilia fan then you should know those characters. Those characters that exist because of the imagination of those great writer. They become my pamantayan in choosing a partner or boyfriend when I was still in high school.
I also want someone like them who easily get jealous when some guy approach me. I want someone who can be possessive when they think someone will stole me to him. I want a sweet type of man who will shower me with sweet nothings. I've got myself a sweet boyfriend when I was in high school but it's just in text in it's a long distance relationship. As I've said before, I don't don't want a boyfriend that is residing from the same town, lol.
So, all if the endearment we know. We will use it to call each other and I find it really sweet. Just a simple sweetness is enough for me to melt. I hated Flowers but endearment is a must lol. And as I've said before "Baby" is my favorite endearment or we call it call sign when we're at the clan. I do 't like Babe, bebe, honey or whatever, I just want you baby, charing lol. And when we fight that endearment really affect me to the core that I can forgive him no matter what.
And then college, that's where my real relationship begin. Because he's my long time crush, I didn't let him court me. Because he likes me and I still like him, I said yes to him that time even if he's not asking me yet. But what can I do, that's the first. I mean, the first crush that I become a boyfriend and that really made me feel excited. We become a lover but in secret. He become my Baby and me to him. Sometimes I will deliberately make him jealous because I want to, lol.
I find is sweet when he get jealous that I will annoy him more. And I feel like he really loves me because of it. And men can really become cute when jealous, omoo. And I will just say sweet nothings to him, some assurance that he's the only man I love and want. That's he's my perfect match, lol. We become a couple for almost 3 years I think. But in the end, that Possessiveness become the reason of why I fall out of love with him.
At first, I really find it sweet, him being a jealous boyfriend. But, it become over reacting, as in. I find it annoying and selfish. He wants all of my attention. And because I'm about to take my On The Job Training that time. Off course, I will need to focus on it. But he want all my time and I can't give it to him. I even told him that he should find a job if he has a lot of time but we just fight because of it. Our relationship is not that good anymore.
We just fight everyday. And the reason is just the same thing, his possessiveness, his jealousy na wala sa lugar. And I get tired of our relationship. If before I can tolerate his possessiveness, that time I just want to end this relationshit and move on. The love was gone, the sweetness is gone. All that's left is annoyance. I feel like I'm in a relationship with a kid, and I just hate it. I don't feel that tingling sensation anymore. That thing that I will feel a butterfly in my stomach, it's just a memory now.
After him, I also got myself a boyfriend but we didn't last. I feel like he has no dreams in his life. He just want a kid and then that's it. Seriously 🙄. I even ask him if what he will feel in his child if wala syang work. Akony kakayod mag-isa ganorn? I'd rather be alone forever than to be with someone na okay ng mahal ang isa't isa pero hanggang doon nalang. It ends there and no dreams for his future, or even for his kids future. I ask him this "Can we even eat your love?"
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Read this to Start in Club1BCH
May 23, 2021
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When I was in high school, my mother forbade us to read Tagalog pocketbooks. Because, period. She wouldn't tell the reason. But somehow I knew. She wouldn't want us to read those steamy stuff there. Yup, there's a page or two in those little, thin books. I knew, because young and curious that I am, I read about ten of them.
Anyway, nakakasakal talaga ang being possessive. Ganyan din ex ko haha. To the point where, my gad my father would even hand me money to watch movies at the cinema, alone, and you wont let me, really?