Thoughts on Bill Payment during Dates
This has been one of the talks of the town these past few months. A lot of opinions have been said already, some make total sense, some make you want to say to people that it’s already 2021 and at some point in our lives, we need character development. *(Hint: now is a great time!)*
A lot of things take a role in this topic and as much as it is just paying for food or the whole date, this is a layered issue that needs to be dissected to fully understand things.
Gender Norms
I think it's one thing when a guy or a girl pays for the bill but associating it with gender is just so fucked up. We constantly thrive for a world where we can have equal opportunities but when it comes to finances and paying up for things, we revert back to the old “it’s the guy’s responsibility to provide”. I just think that it’s your responsibility to provide for your own – regardless of gender.
No, I’m not siding with anyone. I’m not trying to protect the guys, it’s really just bugging me off when people use this as an argument whenever this topic comes off. It’s just that I think if we want equality, we should start on the simple things such as paying for the food we eat.
I read somewhere that you don’t necessarily need to pay half, you can pay for the food you just ate or pay in percentages. There are a lot of ways to split the bill and one person, or we can say "gender" should not shoulder the whole cost.
Culture
Culture plays a big role in this. In my country, the Philippines, we have this thing called "ligaw" or courting, wherein a guy will pursue the girl. Since the guy is the one pursuing it is a bit expected for him to shoulder the expenses as a way of showing love.
In other parts of the world, they don’t believe in courting and go directly into the dating stage wherein they test the compatibility of the relationship so both are expected to pursue each other if you both like each other enough. We can say that in this kind of relationship, guys have lesser expectations to pay for dates, but I must say that we just can’t eradicate those expectations quickly.
A lot of things are customary here but not customary to other countries so I think the culture wherein both people grew in is also a factor to consider in this matter.
Personal Choices
As much as gender norms and culture affect us and a whole lot of other things, it boils down to personal choices. There are those people that just basically express their love by treating the person they love. Spoiling could be a love language for all we know.
I have read somewhere in a journal that says, I hope you wouldn’t tell me how to love you and just let me show how I can love you. This is just a basic example of it, if a man or a woman wants to pay for the date, let them be. No matter what other people would say, just pay for it whoever wants to pay. If both want to pay, then split it.
I just think that in relationships, this isn’t much of a topic that couples really dwell on. I think people are nickel-diming, wherein people just compute every single thing. I don’t about other people but I think if I and my boyfriend would ever fight over this, it would be a petty thing. I think someone would just pay for it and the next time, the other one would pay.
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Thoughts on Child-free Couples
Recently I got a conversation with my grandma, we were talking about marriage, relationships, and our main topic of having kids, well mainly about giving birth to a child.
Don’t get me wrong, I really love children and babies, especially when they allow me to bite them. I love taking care of them and playing with them, but we all know that this is only one side of the coin. Along with the cuteness and laughter with the child, a lot has to be sacrificed if you decide to have a baby. Sleepless nights, psychological and mental struggles, financial capacity and the list goes on.
I told my grandma that I was thinking of not having a biological baby, it’s not yet final though. I know my decision might and will probably change in the future but as of now, I am for not having a baby yet or never at all. I also told her that if I do want one, adoption is something I consider.
As old people, most of them are not open to this idea. Of course, she freaked out a bit, thinking it was absurd for me to even have the thought. I can never fully blame her, she was raised and programmed that way. After saying my thoughts, as we all expect it, “adult talk” is on its way, she raised to me the following concerns:
How will my husband love me if I won’t give birth to a baby?
Who will take care of me when I become old?
Giving birth and taking care of the children is a basic duty of a wife, what will I do if I won’t do both?
I think the thing that bothered me the most is, what will I use to get hold of and make my husband stay if I won’t have a child for them to support and take care of?
I was astounded at how different I think from her, again I can’t blame her. A lot of factors come into play regarding social issues, environment, genetics, perspective, mindset, experiences, and many more.
Fucked up world
I think a big factor why Gen Zs doesn’t want kids anymore is that we all think that the world is fucked up and honestly, I don’t want my child to experience this cruel, cold world. A lot of issues are arising, everyone is mostly arguing about everything. I have read in the book, the subtle art of not giving a fuck, that we are the most divided generation ever. Everyone seems to have their own opinion on anything, which I think is the goal of empowerment but, sometimes I think it’s in the extreme.
We’re also the most narcissistic generation and the environment and our planet is slowly dying even with the small interventions that are being implemented. Then seems like it wasn’t all enough, here comes the pandemic which no one knows when will end. A lot of variants kept popping up and sometimes it feels like it won’t end. I mean, it’s not a lost cause and everything could be better but right now, we are in a big sea of uncertainty.
I can’t even take care of myself
With the alarming increase of the mental health issues, we are encountering, a lot of women my age are not really considering having a child because of the so-called accountability. We recognize that not everyone is up for motherhood and right now, we can choose not to and many are choosing it.
Having a child requires accountability and women think that if they can’t even take care of themselves and try their best to just be mentally stable every day, how much more if you had a child completely dependent on you?
Financial Preparation
When I was reviewing for my licensure exam, our professor told us and even showed us a computation of how much does it cost to have a baby. Some of it is him basically ranting how expensive it is but for most parts, he makes sense.
He proceeded and listed everything that is needed to raise a child, food, shelter, education, healthcare, and many more. (You know, he’s an accountant. This is not surprising!) But at the end of his mini-rant/lecture session, he computed PHP 4,000,000, more or less 80,000 dollars, and this is only until the child reaches 18 years old and in the Philippine's standard of living.
So I always remember this whenever the topic of having a baby comes up. We should not only prepare our hearts for the challenge but our bank accounts as well.
I know some women dream of having a family and I don’t judge them for it, they have my full support. But I think on the flip side, women who don’t want to have a child should be empowered for choosing that path.
Women are not only there to reproduce, I think we still generally fall on the concept that we have our own lives to live, whether be it having a child or not.
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Let me make my own mistakes
Yesterday, I went to our office to return my company’s belongings that are still with me. It was officially my last day after rendering a month's notice and turnover. In Pmy profession, we often joke about it by saying ***“Happy Independence Day!”***
It was a bittersweet moment, sad that I had to leave one of my dream companies, along with the colleagues that I have bonded and grown with. On the flip coin, I won’t deny, I was happy, grateful and most importantly, I was relieved.
Resigning was one of the things that burdened me for a very long time. It has been stuck in my head and heart since the beginning of the year. In my profession which is a very stressful, dynamic, and fast-paced environment, you always need to be keeping up or you’ll easily be swallowed. So mental stability was a key factor in doing your job, which I’m currently struggling with.
I won’t be hypocritical and say that resigning was a walk in the park, it was certainly not. At first, I had to plan for it physically, mentally and the most important preparation there is, financially. Of course, I have to eat and basically live, I need to be financially prepared for losing my source of income.
Fortunately, I have other sources of income, such as read.cash, noise.cash, and some other investment venture that I have. Plus, I wanted to keep myself occupied while waiting for my new job in November.
I would also say that a lot of people have been against my decision. Some family members, friends, coworkers, bosses, and many more, which obviously made my decision even harder. A lot of “adult talks” were made, my company even countered the offer and negotiated the terms of my contract. My friends and family were concerned about my source of income and the growth that I could have in my current company.
It was mental torture, forcing me to know what to do and making me decide on things. A lot of people made me go through the decision-making process over and over again and asked for the nth time if I was sure with my decision.
To be honest, I am sure with me leaving my company, but I am not sure with how things would turn out, as all of us are. I’m just saying that I could be making a career-defining move or maybe not. I could be making a mistake or maybe not. Apparently, no one knows what will happen, the best thing to do is decide, move forward and the key factor, accept whatever consequences you will encounter.
All I want to say and our instincts would always tell us to protect the people we love, it’s innate and part of our human nature. If someone is doing something out of the ordinary, you would generally call someone out to say that they are making a mistake. But, telling them that they could be wrong is entirely different in forcing them to follow your advice, and let’s admit it, the line is sometimes blurry.
It's an entirely different thing to say that someone could be wrong, let them process on their own and give them the space to make mistakes. Believe me, not many can do this, but it’s a must.
We should live our lives, no, we must live our lives. And living entails making decisions and fucking up along the way. After all, in the of it all, if you truly love a person you would be there for them after their mistake or so-called “lesson”
As I am getting older, I am starting to realize that yes, it’s wise to learn from the experience of others and avoid their mistakes, but there are a lot of things we have to go through to learn things on our own. We have to make mistakes and basically, live our lives.
So for those who want to do something, go for it! Make mistakes and enjoy life.
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If I were a rock
In the Philippines, we have this “cultural joke”, if there is such a thing. I think more of an inside joke or a slang, where we would say things we want to be, “sana hotdog na lang ako, para nasa freezer lang ako” (I wish I was a hotdog so I would stay in the freezer) during the summer because of the temperature here.
My sisters and I would often think about it and ask each other, what would we want to be in our next life. For most days I would answer a potato but that is for another time.
***Lately, I want to be a rock.***
If I were a rock…
I think it would be a slow but meaningful existence. I know rocks would be there for a long time but they are not “immortal”. Rocks vanish and slowly get small through time, so in a sense their time is limited as well, not as limited as us though.
Rocks stay, watching everything. It’s there everyday and can withstand every weather or season. I think rocks do most of the things in silence and because of this they have become strong foundations of almost everything that is built.
As an extrovert, I think being a rock would be a challenge and at the same time I’ll get lots of learning experience. I’ll experience being a watcher of things rather than the doer. I’d also get to watch people come and go, without interacting with them. Imagine you are a rock and your best friend passes by, you would just let her pass by without doing anything, a hard thing to do for me.
I think I could also see and know stories, I think rocks hold some of the greatest stories that have never been told. I can be a rock in someone's backyard and watch families grow, lose people, bring new people and grow again. I just realized how much rocks can hold secrets and stories without us even realizing it.
Even with the many usage of rocks in our world, well one is that it a basic foundation of earth itself, it can also have harmful effects. I like to think of it under the concept of yin and yang - the good in evil and the evil in good. But to really think of it, is there really such a thing as good and evil, that even a rock can be both? A rock can be used to intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone but I guess it boils down to the fact that good and evil are our own choices and perspective.
In the flip side, rocks when they hold themselves together and survive everything they have to survive, can turn into beautiful things. I like to think that rocks are more culturally diverse than us, humans. There are different types of rocks depending on the location and a lot of things.
I have read this facebook post, “The next time you travel, bring a rock with you. It would be the farthest adventure the rock has ever been to.” and it amuses me. I was planning to do this but I always forget to take a rock in my grandma’s garden plus due to the restriction and lockdowns, the rock and I won’t really go far.
I just like to think that being a rock is a slow and excruciating journey, but it is a noble and definitely worth it one.
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This is in support of the writing prompt #19: If I were...
Write anything about **distraction**
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The Financial Horrors: Beauty Industry
There was one point in my life where I was so insecure with myself. I had cystic acne back then and as someone who constantly travels for school, under the scorching sun and doesn’t know the concept of sunscreen, I can say that my skin was on the darker side.
It’s becoming apparent to me how brands use our insecurities to make quick bucks out of us. The market is so diversified and brands want to “label” us and use that label as a marketing scheme.
I noticed how the brands categorize women and yeah, it’s better than a generic one but does this classification really take out the “cookie cutter” mentality - that each of us can fit in a mold or does it just make another mold which people strive to fit in again?
Here are some of my observations at how brands uses our insecurity to for the boost of their sales:
(Disclaimer: This is not of course to generalize brands and I know that some brands are really aiming for empowerment. This is just a view of what I observed)
Beauty = Fair Skin
This has been a beauty standard for the longest time and the amount of beauty products that contain whitening ingredients are enormous. From soap, facial wash, lotions and even in the salon which promises you instant 2 shades lighter in an instant. This even had health implications when some women would risk their life to get skin bleaching just to fit in the society. This even extends to vitamins and intakes which will promise you lighter skin.
Now, I’m not judging anyone who wants lighter skin, if it’s your choice and you feel empowered with it, you go girl! I just don’t like it when that becomes your standard of beauty, when you treat beauty as shades and the darker you go, the more unattractive you become or vice versa.
I hate it even more when brands create this stigma using their advertisements and capitalize out of it. If you watch the tv or Youtube ads, have you noticed how brands only use fair-skinned models? And the thing that pisses me off is that being fair signifies a healthy skin? Like what?!?! So I can't have a healthy skin if my skin isn't fair?
I still think that some brands does this unconsciously as it becomes wrapped in our beauty standards but we have to make a conscious effort about our advertisement and how we shape the definition of beauty.
Body Shapes
We just came from an era of anorexia and under-eating and we realized how unhealthy it was. It messes up our relationship with food and a lot of eating disorders arise.
Now we’re in a phase where we want to eat our heart out, especially with the rise of Mukbangs, Youtube cooking tutorials and #foodtok. A lot of people find joy in cooking and along with it, eating the food they cooked.
Our worry now shifts to overeating and gaining weight. **Here comes the era of detox!** Magic teas and juices which help you lose 5 pounds in a month, mind you most of this are not even FDA approved. In losing weight, proper diet and exercise is really the key. It does the work but also a very sustainable one.
When a brand comes and advertises that you don’t need exercise, just drink this and that, this is where it becomes problematic. First, a quick buck from us, yet again and another thing is exercise is a vital part of life. Especially now, we don’t engage in much physical activity due to lockdown, we should be more conscious in our exercise.
Personalized vitamins
I just don’t get this. Like…. I try to but I just don’t.
So right now, there are sites where when you order you will need to fill out some questionnaires and after that you will get the recommended “personalized vitamins”. They take the data that you input and basically make a prescription out of that. I haven’t seen this in the Philippines yet but in the US, it’s becoming a thing, along with personalized shampoos and body soap.
I’ll let the personalized shampoo and body soap slide but personalized vitamins? Isn’t that a doctor's job? Should you just go to a doctor, get a general check up and ask for a prescription?
Isn’t this straight up capitalism in our face and when we buy this we feel so special because we have “personalized vitamins”. I just don’t get the logic of this.
Skin care routine
Skin care has become a hot topic for a while now. For me, I have been a bit obsessed with it for some time, especially during my cystic acne phase. I tried lots of products, especially over the counter ones. Honestly, I have toned down a bit. My skin care right now is just super basic, a cleanser, moisturizer, vitamin c serum and sunscreen.
I am just amazed at how people have this 7 step skin care routine and most is just a spin off of a basic one. The best example is eye cream, many argue that this is just overpriced moisturizer and if you put enough moisturizer under your eye, it would suffice. And who have the time and energy for a 7 step skin care anyway? I mean, if it would make you feel good about yourself and this is your me time, it’s okay. But who does this everyday?
Sometimes the social media expects us to do this everyday and to always have that instagram perfect skin. And I swear, having this glowing perfect skin isn't cheap. I t does not just stops with skin care regimens, most would go to spa and aesthetic centers and to be honest, most of this influencers with a perfect skin have brand sponsorships.
They make it seem like it is part of their lives and they can afford it but in reality it is sponsored. They forget to put on a disclaimer that not everyone can afford it and we should not expect everyone to be able to go to this aesthetic centers.
I have read in one article, which I forgot who authored (I'm sorry), "the best skin care routine is money". It just breaks my heart that brands would continuously point out your flaws and make money to "fix you".
In an era of empowerment, I think branding and advertisement should also changed how they present themselves and think of the customer and their impact instead of their profit.
But no matter how much I rant here, capitalism is something that is a big part of the economy and global markets. Let's see if there would be a change in the future regarding how we brand and advertise beauty products.
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Before you resign, wait!
I recently wrote an article about me finally leaving my current company. I know we’ve all been there, dragging through each day and just wanting to be free out of this corporate slavery. The hidden resignation letter we have drafted months ago. https://read.cash/@deedum/i-quit-b7c4a750
We have different reasons, some would say that they want growth, professional and personal, others and I think most of us lately, would just want a better working environment.
This was heightened during the pandemic as some are required to go on-site and risk their lives. In the work from home set-up, there is actually little to none when it comes to personal and work space.
I am for everyone knowing their worth and actually asking and seeking for it, whether by a raise, promotion or what I did, finding a new company that is more aligned with my values. But resigning wasn’t a one night impulsive decision that I made, *it’s actually months of work before I get to the point where I can fully say, I can resign.* I know I’ve done a lot of impulsive things in my life and I will do more, knowing myself. But quite frankly, resignation wasn’t one of them.
So here are the things I did to prepare myself for resignation:
Career Path
Professional and personal growth are one of my cornerstones in finding a job. In my current profession, audit - it is a high pacing and dynamic environment. I opted to stay within the same industry as I know that I have way much more to learn and to improve within myself.
I am transferring to another auditing firm so I really wouldn’t sacrifice any learning and experience.
I think before fully resigning, thinking if the direction that you are taking is the career path you want yourself to be in, is a must. It will make it easier to find a job and another company if you know the career path you want to take.
In the case you want to change careers, go for it! Take a leap but of course, you have lots to take into consideration.
Back up plan
I think before you fully resign, as most of the adults would say, it’s better if you have another offer from a different company or a plan on where you will get your resources. In these trying times, there are a lot of sectors that have scarce workforce but there also sectors which have oversupply of workforce.
Whether it be opening a new small business, transferring to another company, resting for a while or anything under the sun, I think planning what you will do after resigning is a must so that you wouldn’t just make it impulsively.
As for my case, I started applying and actually got an offer before I handed in my resignation letter.
Emergency Fund
**I cannot emphasize enough the value of this.**
For me, an emergency fund is your safety net, an opportunity provider. This gives you a buffer to fully decide on things before stepping into it.
In my case, I would have no salary for a month. Of course, we have bills to pay and we need to eat so I just can’t resign out of the blue and starve to death. But having an emergency fund, my financial concerns lessen and I am totally clearing out the financial pressure that I will be facing when I will resign.
Look, there would be a lot to consider before resigning and making an emergency fund gives you one problem you can cross out. As per the things that I have read, an emergency fund is usually around 3-6 months worth of your salary.
So imagine quitting your job and deciding to take a rest or can’t easily find a new job, you have at least 3-6, depending on what you save, buffer time which not everyone can afford. This will give you a clearer mind and relieve you of a lot of pressure in getting a new job that you don’t like immediately.
Take a leap
For my young readers out there, I would just like to say to trust yourself and your own instincts. A lot of people would prevent you from resigning, whether it be your boss who still needs your talent and skill, your family who needs you to support them, your friends who could be thinking that you are making a wrong decision. At the end of the day, trust yourself! You got this and it’s okay if you don’t know what you’re doing, because honestly no one really does.
Come to think of it, it doesn't just apply to young readers who are still on the early stage of their career. I think that some senior professionals can also change career any time and just trust themselves.
Of course there would be a lot more to consider before fully handling that resignation letter you drafted months ago but the bottom line is… don’t make an impulsive decision based on something that would really impact your life.
I’ve been seeing a lot of jokes where it would say, this is your sign to resign (it rhymes!). But it’s way more than escaping, it should be a tactical move because as much as we like it or not, it would have an impact on your life.
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I'm not sure if I am just deeply demotivated lately but I'm dragging myself to write, how do you guys write everyday?
I quit
I recently wrote about “The Great Resignation” and how it affects the current workforce. I have been digging about this, reading about it on different sites and recently I got in the habit of discussing it to the people that I think would have great insights. https://read.cash/@deedum/the-great-resignation-d9288c7d
A few weeks later, tadaaaa…
I resigned.
This was my dream company ever since I could remember working in an audit firm and now I’m 1 step out, just serving my notice period and in a few more days, I’m gone. I choose this company because it’s one of the best that aligns with my values. I have learned a lot and gained a lot of experience.
A lot of factors have been considered in making this decision, some of them I am aware of but most of it probably lies in my subconscious mind.
Culture
The company culture is great, but there’s a difference in the team culture that I am in. Currently, I have amazing juniors that I really vibe with, but my superiors… in the corporate term we would say that “our work style doesn’t match”. I think I can handle it because they have been my superiors before but if something is repeatedly done and no action was made to address the issue, maybe it’s really just the best to go.
Well, I think the workforce right now is more reliant on the environment and culture of the company rather than the pay because more and more people realize that money can’t really buy everything.
Workload
A lot of my frustration really boils down to this thought, I really feel exploited in my workplace and in the Philippines in general. The work that I do never lives up to my pay and I know I’m not alone in this dilemma. I actually applied for a job abroad but currently, I still lack years of experience in my current field so I really just can’t fly somewhere else.
I just hope that the labor sector in the Philippines gets more than what they deserve so we don’t have to go to another country just to get treated better. (In line with this, please make sure to register for you to vote in the upcoming 2022 elections, we badly need a generation who will think critically on who to vote for. It’s the time of history where we can really prove that our vote matters.)
New Environment
Recently, I got so demotivated at work. Probably because I don’t feel that people in my company find joy in their work anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong some of them do enjoy it but the majority is just dragging through the day and as much as you want to go against the current, it will be a difficult thing to do.
I just hope that in my new company, we can have a more fruitful and driven environment. I’m thinking of this as training as well and an assessment of how agile and adaptable I can be.
I know I have been gone for quite some time, I’ve been really busy fixing my life. As much as I want to write and tell you things or some random things that I got curious about, my life is a roller coaster right now.
As much as I want to be fully happy with my decision, it still hurts and there’s a lot of fear with this decision. I might even be making the biggest mistake in my life but on the flip side this could be the best or just a normal random thing that I’ve done in my twenties.
Life is really uncertain during this time, we’re all just trying to survive and push through. Thank you for listening to me, I’m just really in a confused state right now and I honestly don’t know what to do.
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The Great Resignation
As I’ve been doing research on my next investment during this weekend, I have been coming across this phrase.
“The Great Resignation”
At first, I really thought it was just a twist off of “The Great Depression” which was the time where all of the major economies of huge countries plummeted. The inflation rate was skyrocketing, along with the unemployment rate.
The Great Depression was the worst economic downturn in the history of the industrialized world, lasting from the stock market crash of 1929 to 1939.
Source https://www.history.com/topics/great-depression/great-depression-history
Upon further research, The Great Resignation is true and a lot of the business platforms are talking about it. They predicted that it's slowly starting to happen, although it was predicted a few years from now, the pandemic gave a boost that it needed for it to start its effects.
A Microsoft survey of more than 30,000 global workers showed that 41% of workers were considering quitting or changing professions this year, and a study from HR software company Personio of workers in the UK and Ireland showed 38% of those surveyed planned to quit in the next six months to a year. In the US alone, April saw more than four million people quit their jobs, according to a summary from the Department of Labor – the biggest spike on record. https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/worklab/work-trend-index https://hr.personio.de/hubfs/EN_Downloads/202104_HRStudy_UKI.pdf https://www.bls.gov/news.release/jolts.nr0.htm
Source https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210629-the-great-resignation-how-employers-drove-workers-to-quit
Workplace leaders began predicting a mass exodus in early 2021, with one survey finding that one in four workers plans to quit their job after the pandemic. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/04/19/1-in-4-workers-is-considering-quitting-their-job-after-the-pandemic.html
Source https://www.cnbc.com/2021/06/24/workers-are-quitting-their-jobs-to-prioritize-their-mental-health.html
The biggest talk of the town in the labor sector is how **approximately four million employees resigned in America alone**. There is a study that most of them would be okay to leave their current job even if they don’t have a backup job because they would rather bet on themselves than stay in a place where they are not valued and paid fairly.
In my profession, the finance sector, resignation is becoming more and more rampant. More and more employees recognize their work and are hopping to the next company that would treat them fairly, especially with the workload, culture, pay and benefits.
In my personal opinion, these are the things that contributed to the acceleration of the great depression:
Toxic work culture
As more and more people are being empowered and get rid of discrimination and minority, a lot of people are starting to see their worth. A lot of effort is also being done to raise awareness in setting up boundaries, not just in relationships but in the way you deal with work too. This has been the greatest contributor in the great resignation as one can almost easily leave a job if he or she is not being treated fairly.
Companies should also start realizing that one of their greatest assets are the people within the company. In the industrial times, employees are somewhat "replaceable" because they work in factories and what they do is routinary, so it’s easier to pass on the knowledge. But now with automation, routinary jobs are being replaced with robots, employees are being stretched to think and their jobs are not as replaceable as before. If employers recognize this, they would have an easier time with the great resignation.
Work from home
As much as I complain with the work from home set up, I’m not entirely sure how I would feel if we were asked to go back to the office. The comfort of my home and the traffic free travel from my bed to my work desk is a big deal breaker with me.
And as much as it sucks because a lot of transition has been made, more people are more inclined to work from home or in a hybrid setup rather than going back to the office. A lot of people would even consider resigning rather than going back to the office and it poses great threats to the company.
Gig Economy
We’re slowly transitioning to the gig economy wherein people prefer to manage themselves, rather than have permanent full time jobs. One of the key examples here is freelancing, you can work any time you want, you can choose your client and you can negotiate your terms.
Another is opening up their own small business, with the success stories that we hear of how a huge business started from someone’s garage is a great motivator for people to start taking risks.
Side Hustles (Multiple sources of income)
It has been said by many gurus that we should not rely on one source of income, hence we started creating different sources of income. Examples are, noise.cash, read.cash, play to earn games, freelancing, investing and many more. And if we’re gonna be honest, sometimes what we earn in our side hustles, outweighs what we earn in our full time job. https://noise.cash/u/sunshinestella https://read.cash/r/deedum
This can also lead to resignation as more people are inclined to focus on the things that give them greater returns than sulk in your desk and get angry with your boss who doesn’t give a fuck about your mental state.
Pandemic
Save the best for last? HAHAHA.
One of the biggest contributors is the pandemic, of course. We are forced to be locked in our home and contemplate what we have done with our lives. Some were proud of what they do but some just realized that they have been stuck in this job that doesn’t bring joy in their life. And let’s be honest, the world is uncertain right now, and we don’t know how long we will stay here. So a lot have been doing what they wanted to even if it costs them their stable jobs.
Quite frankly, I’m part of those who doesn't have a spark in my company anymore. I don’t feel valued and appreciated and I hope the Filipino employers would adjust to this and not continually exploit the labor force in the Philippines.
I just wanted to say that if you don’t feel happy in your job and are considering quitting, all of us feel the same way. Just be patient with yourself and remind yourself that we are in an uncertain time and it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out.
See you around!
Lead Image: Photo by **Andrea Piacquadio** from **Pexels** https://www.pexels.com/@olly?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/crop-businessman-giving-contract-to-woman-to-sign-3760067/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels
Miranda Warning: Know your rights
I said in my recent noise.cash post that I will start writing more about the basic Philippine Constitution Rights, hopefully in Tagalog but for today I’m writing about the Miranda Warning which is a doctrine applied worldwide. https://noise.cash/post/1z52568r
AN IMPORTANT DOCTRINE THAT EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW.
I will write this in English for all audiences, but I will elaborate it in Tagalog as well for my Filipino friends who wants to know more about this doctrine but are having a hard time understanding it in English. I will try my best to translate.
*“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”*
Source http://www.mirandawarning.org/whatareyourmirandarights.html
Does this ring a bell?
I know at one point in your life, you’ve already heard of this phrase. Mainly when someone was brought for questioning, hopefully in the films only and not when you’re actually being questioned for something. It has become a cliche for many of us. I remember memorizing this and saying it together with the actors/actresses when I’m watching an action film because I feel so bad ass.
I really thought that this was just a cinematic thing that actors or even police chant when they’re questioning someone but it has a very deep story behind it and how it got its name...
The Miranda Rights
In 1963, the case of Miranda v. Arizona (384 US 436) became one of the most controversial cases. It even became a worldwide doctrine because of the decision made in this case, a ruling that disrupts a lot of the justice system not only in Arizona, but globally.
In Arizona, Ernesto Miranda was arrested for kidnapping and raping a girl. He was bought into a police station because he was one suspect that could be linked to the crime. The victim identified him so he was interrogated.
As most of us would do, he denied the crime at first saying he wasn’t involved in anything. A series of questioning was put into place and probably because of the pressure, he confessed guilty of the crime. Some strongly believed and argued that he was pressured to confess, they made him write his confession and he signed it.
Of course, the victim used the written statement against him which is why he was rendered guilty. But the policemen, before questioning and interrogation, did not state his rights but what are his rights?
5th amendment
Most commonly known as “the 5th'' and people would always say “I’m invoking the 5th” or the most famous “I invoke my right against self-incrimination”.
No person **shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself**.
Source https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-5/
6th amendment
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to **have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.**
Source https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-6/
This just basically says that when you are or will be interrogated, hopefully not, you are not required to answer the questions and you have the right to have an attorney to accompany you and guide during the interrogation. If you can’t pay for it, the state will provide or appoint you one, here in the Philippines it’s called PAO (Public Attorney’s Office) Lawyers.
He later on appealed to the Supreme Court twice and on the second one, he won the case. It was a tough call but the Supreme Court was weighing and trying to balance out the public safety and rights of the accused which is most of the time ignored.
But even though it was ruled in favor of him, a witness appeared and testified that he was the one who actually did it. He was found guilty, which is what the scenario in the beginning was, but this time it has undergone the due process of law. He was sentenced for another 3 years because of this.
Now the question is not whether you did it or not because it was clear that he did it but everyone should go under the due process of law and your rights doesn’t vanish just because you did something.
This can have repercussions but the Justice Systems are not that great to be fully trusted on, that is why you should have a basic knowledge of your rights.
This has been an interesting topic for me and I’ve gained a lot of knowledge in writing this as well. Hopefully we get to learn more of our rights in my future articles.
See you around!
Lead image: Photo by Bill Oxford on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@bill_oxford?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/jail?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Sources:
**https://businessmirror.com.ph/2019/05/20/the-miranda-doctrine/#:~:text=Ernesto%20Miranda%2C%20then%2023%2C%20was****,of%20police%20questioning%2C%20he%20confessed.&text=As%20for%20Miranda%2C%20he%20was,using%20the%20confession%20against%20him**. https://businessmirror.com.ph/2019/05/20/the-miranda-doctrine/#:~:text=Ernesto%20Miranda%2C%20then%2023%2C%20was,of%20police%20questioning%2C%20he%20confessed.&text=As%20for%20Miranda%2C%20he%20was,using%20the%20confession%20against%20him
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/the-miranda-rights-are-established
My Love Language: Biting
This is my take on the 13th writing prompt: Language
The rules are simple.
Write anything about **language**
Write **100% original** content
Write at least **600** words so Rusty will reward you
**Submit** to the **PromptlyJonica** community (please join us if you haven't already) https://read.cash/c/promptlyjonica-b4a0
**Tag** me **@JonicaBradley** and **@TengoLoTodo** https://read.cash/@JonicaBradley https://read.cash/@TengoLoTodo
Have **fun!**
I have no idea where this weird thing came from, but I do enjoy biting people, especially those ones that I truly love. I can’t remember the exact day where I started going on a rampant and made a quest for myself to start biting people.
The most vivid memory that I remember is when I was in High School, I would bite my best friend and it would cause her bruises. I would also bite my mom from time to time and bruises would appear as well.
On random days, my sisters would let me bite them in the cheeks but most of the time, I’d sneak out to bite them. Hehe. Mostly it would involve some karate chops and flying kicks but sometimes I get to run away and lock my door.
Recently, I got my way in bribing them. Whenever I bought some food or groceries to take home to them, I would request a bite on the cheek first before I would give them their food. On most days it would work but sometimes, I run out of luck too.
And I don’t even want to begin with babies and toddlers! Every special baby in my life, I’ve already bitten! Sorry not sorry… I’d give them food in exchange of bites and surprisingly most babies would let you bite them as long as you promise to not make it hurt. And promise, I never made it hurt!!!
As my curiosity hit me, I tried to search why people are fond of biting the person we love and there is actually a scientific reason behind it! It even has a name, which surprised me. It’s called…
Cute Aggression
So the next time you feel like pinching your friend’s cheeks or nibbling on your partner’s arms, be rest assured that you are not some crazy bloodlust creature, you are just displaying your affection. It just happens to be a little twisted and a way of ensuring that you do not get carried away with your intense emotions of love.
Source https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/de-stress/do-you-bite-the-people-you-love-there-is-a-scientific-reason-behind-it/articleshow/71791327.cms
It’s cool, right? Even science recognizes it as a way of showing affection! I mean, it's obviously not conventional but its origin traces back from ancient times.
As per my understanding, cute aggression is a way of releasing extreme and intense emotions of love. It feels like when you love someone so much you’d just want to clench your fist, nibble, pinch or even bite them, playfully of course! If not, those extreme emotions you feel can cause way more than a bite or a nibble.
It’s really an amazing thing how love language evolves. I know there are 5 most common love languages which are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmations, Gift, Quality Time and Acts of Service.
But I am petitioning to make a sixth one, Biting!
*But if biting is a bit extreme, could we tone it down to maybe nibbling?*
Recently there is also a trend at how making someone’s coffee should be a different love language too. I think it’s really sweet when someone knows how to make your coffee the way you liked it.
Another one is remembering things, especially the little things. Like your order in a restaurant, your favorite color, favorite place, why you hated a certain thing and many more.
It’s just amazing at how love language is being looked upon and studied. And I think if we truly want to make the other person feel loved, we would love them in their own love language.
Lead image: Photo by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/@diana_pole?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/biting?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Racing thoughts and heartbeat
Trigger Warning: Talks about my mental health and might trigger some of you.
It was just announced a couple of hours ago that we just hit another all time high when it comes to Covid-19 cases, we’re at the 19,000 mark nearing 20,000. (We want all time high in cryptos, not this.) Along with this, the lockdown measures were extended up until September 7, 2021, originally August 31, which have a huge possibility of another extension again.
Same policies are imposed every time a lockdown is implemented - going out is for necessary and essential purposes only, no dine-ins, no social gatherings and health precautions are in place like face masks, face shields and alcohol.
We've been locked down for more than a year now. Sometimes the restrictions eases but all the same nothing really changes.
Around 5pm this afternoon, I started having racing heartbeats and a lot of thoughts were rushing in my head. It was just nonsense thoughts, most of which I forgot by the time of writing this. I tried to wash it away by watching some series and studying but it had little to no effect. I tried to study on how I can create better content but… I wrote nothing. I tried opening a lot of Youtube videos but all of them are just passing by, video per video.
I tried going out in front of our gate so I could feel some sunlight and see some greeneries, it did help only for a little while. Now, I’m stuck again in my room with these thoughts and I don’t know how to make it go away.
I’m a bit afraid of writing this, honestly, because I don’t want to seem insensitive to those people who would go out everyday and risk their lives. Those that needs to leave everyday so that they can provide for themselves and their families. While I work from the comfort of my home and I have little exposure to the virus, yet I still have the audacity to feel this way.
It’s a struggle for an extrovert to be locked and isolated. For us, being with people gives us energy and the vibrant, busy and noisy world is an amusement park for us. We crave interaction and we'd rather be talking to people all day than being somewhere alone. When I see people even when I’m tired, it just goes away.
I am just slowly realizing that being with people gives sparkles to my life.
We all know how the pandemic has been affecting a lot of things and I don’t even know where to begin. Unemployment, Closure of businesses, Deaths, Crashing Economy, Fear, Uncertainty and many more which adds up and fucks with our mental health. It’s just sad at how the pandemic corrupted us of our youth, experience and freedom.
I’m trying my best not to have a panic attack right now so I decided to write, they always say writing helps. But I don’t know if it still matters, I’m so tired of feeling this way. I’m not neglecting it and a panic attack can help but I don’t know what to do anymore.
I seriously want to go out and buy a slice of pizza but I can’t. The fear of risking my family to the virus just to satisfy my craving is beyond irrational. But if you look at it, am I really just satisfying your cravings or I just want to go out for a little while to release all of the feelings that I have been building up.
This is such a sensitive topic because I don’t want to come off as a whiny girl who just wants to go out. I’m not even sure if people understand it.
I’ve been taking a walk almost everyday just to relieve this but it’s not helping anymore. I tried writing and watching, none of that worked too. Yet again I am at a point where I need to find another coping mechanism.
I just wanted to let some steam, hopefully things get better soon for all of us.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@anniespratt?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/isolation?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Social Media Influencers: Taxable o Hindi?
*Disclaimer: Di talaga ako sanay magsulat sa Tagalog, di ko kasi kayang ma-express yung sarili ko, the way na nagagawa ko sa English. Tsaka taglish to kasi di ko talaga kayang itranslate yung ibang words, lalo na legal terms TT.TT*
*Ayun, bear with me na lang talaga mga bes. Gagalingan ko promise! Chz.*
Nitong mga nakaraang araw, nagkakagulo ang online world at ang mga netizens sa mga issues tungkol sa taxation. Hindi lang sa mga influencers sa kahit anong social media platforms (Youtube, Facebook, Tiktok at iba pa) pero pati na din sa mga freelancing, crypto trading, online selling at iba pa.
Dahil ito sa nilabas na Revenue Memorandum Circular, RMC No. 97-2021: Taxation of Any Income Received by Social Media Influencers. Madaming nagalit, natuwa at nang-troll dito kasi nga naman kung titignan mo, bumabagsak na ang ekonomiya ng bansa at wala ng pera ang gobyerno. Iniisip ng karamihan na ginagamit lang ng gobyerno ang oportunidad na to para makakuha ng pera. https://www.bir.gov.ph/images/bir_files/internal_communications_2/RMCs/2021%20RMCs/RMC%20No.%2097-2021.pdf
Pero isa-isahin natin:
Ex post facto law
Siguro nababasa niyo na to, lalo na sa mga post ni Xian Gaza, na sinasabing hindi pwede na tax-an o buwisan ang mga influencers kasi magiging ex post facto law at ito ay unconstitutional or labag sa constitution ng Pilipinas. https://www.facebook.com/PHTaxUpdates/posts/567069758041063
Ex post facto is most typically used to refer to **a criminal statute that punishes actions retroactively**, thereby criminalizing conduct that was legal when originally performed.
Source https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/ex_post_facto#:~:text=Ex%20post%20facto%20is%20most,Art%201%2C%20%C2%A7%209
Simple lang naman ang logic ng ex post facto law, kapag nagpasa ng criminal act hindi pwedeng madamay ang mga gumawa nito bago mapasa ang batas. Halimbawa, kapag nagpasa ng batas na simula August 25, 2021 bawal na kumanta, lahat ng kakanta sa August 25, 2021 at sa mga susunod na araw lang ang pwedeng kasuhan, yung mga kumanta bago ang August 25, 2021 ay hindi na pwedeng kasuhan. Dahil noong mga panahon na yun di pa naman bawal kumanta kasi pang batas na nagsasabi na bawal ang kumanta.
May ex post facto law ba na nangyari?
WALA.
Unang-una ang RMC ay hindi batas, so kung titignan mo walang bagong batas kaya paano magkakaroon ng ex post facto law? Ang RMC ay isang circular lamang na naglalayon na tumulong sa mga taxpayers na mag-explain ng ating tax code o batas. Ibig sabihin interpretation lang siya ng batas natin na tinatawag na TRAIN Law.
At sa RMC na nilabas, nagpapaalala lamang ito na kailangan magbayad ng influencers ng tax dahil responsibilidad nila ito at ito ang nasa batas.
Magbabayad ba talaga sila ng tax?
OO, DAPAT.
Sec 32 of National Internal Revenue Code (NIRC) - Except otherwise provided in this Title, gross income means all income derived from whatever source…
Source https://www.bir.gov.ph/index.php/tax-code.html
May dalawang parts tong statement na to:
**“Except otherwise provided in this Title”** - ibig sabihin may exemption naman talaga sa tax pero dapat nakasulat sa batas ang exemption na yun. Kaya pag pinag-usapan natin kung taxable ba o hindi, tanong mo muna sabi ba sa batas na exempt? Kapag walang sinabi tax-an mo.
**“gross income means all income derived from whatever source”** - walang sinabing way para maging taxable ang isang income, sabi pa nga “from whatever source” ibig sabihin kahit papaanong paraan mo na-earn taxable yan. Ganyan kapowerful ang taxation.
Paano kapag di naman sa Pilipinas na-earn taxable pa din ba?
Sec 23 (A) of NIRC - A citizen of the Philippines residing therein is taxable on all income derived from sources within and without the Philippines.
Source https://www.bir.gov.ph/index.php/tax-code.html
Kapag tinignan mo ang batas, kapag Filipino citizen ka at nakatira ka sa Pilipinas taxable lahat ng income mo kahit saan mo pa na-earn yan, Pilipinas man o hindi. Pero syempre may mga tinatawag na reciprocity rules o mga provision sa batas na di ka na pwedeng taxan pa kapag na taxan ka na kasi magiging double taxation yun.
Paano kapag hindi ko naman alam na kailangan pala magbayad pwede ba na sa mga susunod na kita ko na lang bayaran at wag na yung dati?
May legal principle tayo na ignorantia legis neminem excusat o “ignorance of law excuses no one from compliance therewith”
Hindi natin pwedeng sabihin na hindi natin alam ang batas natin kasi batas natin yun at dumaan yung sa proseso (due process of law), kagaya ng publication sa mga newspaper at balita. Required ang bagong batas na mabalita, ito ay para ipaalam sa mga mamamayan na may bagong batas upang di rin nila magamit ang rason na di nila alam ang batas.
Sa totoo lang, na-eexcite ako sa mga posibleng mangyari dito, if magbabayad na lang ba talaga ang mga influencers o maghihire sila ng mga abogado para sa isang legal case.
Lead image: Photo by Gian Cescon on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@giancescon?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/social-media-influencers?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Revisiting my 2020 Journal
As I am still on my mini vacation, just the first week into it and I’m already bored, but I'm not wishing for it to end anytime soon. One of the main reasons is that I was always busy and my to-do list just never ends.
I’m actually in one of my proudest moments where I haven’t opened my planner and I can just do whatever I want. *Sometimes, it really is the small things that fuels up our souls.*
I have also begun writing and creating some journal pages again. I feel that my creative self is functioning well because I am well-rested. Honestly, article topics come easily too!
For my journaling, I'm pretty sure you noticed in my noise.cash account, I have been writing my favorite quotes and bible verses. I also joined the channel @crimsonowl created in noise.cash, Journals, Lettering & Stationery. You should join too and get inspired and share your art there! https://noise.cash/u/sunshinestella https://noise.cash/c/journals-lettering-stationery-421q0w5l
Though, I tried to get pictures printed but apparently, all of the picture printing shops were closed when I visited last week.
Last night, as I was closing my journal I just impulsively scanned through it. I started at the very first page and dear, it was so heavy. It was one of the lowest points in my life when I got my journal that I am still using up until now.
Going through it, I just feel sad, amazed and I can’t fathom how I felt that way. Reading through it is such a heavy feeling because it makes me think that at one point in my life, I felt that and I was that hurt. All of the broken dreams, failed promises and all of the silent prayers are there.
Here are some of the excerpts that my journal holds:
“She doesn’t know what to do anymore. She felt like she didn't know herself. She wanted to understand but couldn’t”
She was #3
“She was being patient about herself. She was discovering things that she didn’t want about herself and that’s okay. She just needs to change for the better. She constantly reminded herself that change is both slow and exhausting.”
She was #10
“Finally, things are going to the right places and things are fitting in the right puzzles. She had the time to look back at her goals for the year. She was grateful that God has always been faithful even if she wasn’t.”
She was #14
“She was learning to be comfortable on her own and if she were to make the world revolve on something, it should be on herself. She was focusing on herself and on getting better. She also realized that if she were to get better, she needed to create boundaries.”
She was #16
“She was doing okay, impatient as ever but meh… what’s new?”
She was #29
Of course I couldn’t put all of them here but I thought I can give you some insights on how our emotions and feelings really change a lot. It just shows that whatever you're feeling now, most probably you won't feel a week, month or year from now.
It just shows that feelings come and go and that we shouldn't really dwell on it. I'm not saying that we should ignore it because it changes, I just think that we shouldn't let it bother us that much because more often than not, you won't feel the same way that you feel yesterday.
Most of the time when I reread old journals, it amazes me at how much self discovery you can gain from it:
First, it will help you be mindful of how you feel. If you write you're sad, you probably are sad and if not, you can process it through writing and discover a deeper level of why you are sad.
Second, if you reread it, it just holds so much. More than often, I usually forget what I write because I write in my journal to release it and it just shows you so much hurt and pain you have gone through. It can also give you wisdom and hopefully, it helps you get better.
I rarely read back on what I write because if I’m being honest, it makes me cringe. Especially when it comes to guys and broken hearts. Most of the time I’ll be like “That guy took a space in my journal? I don’t even remember who he was.”
It’s just funny because you can also see how stupid you can be and how you you cried over the silliest thing.
It was a fun time looking back on who I was a year ago, it felt like ages ago.
I killed my child.
I find it funny how when I was young, all I ever think about is growing up.
I had wild dreams back then, wild but simple ones. One of my dreams was to be a cashier in a supermarket or a maid in a mansion. I badly want to fall in love and kiss someone in the rain. I even dreamed of crying because of a boy who broke my heart and he will be there to fix it up again. I used to believe in fairytales and how I’m a princess and I am meant to find my own prince.
Life was simple when I was young but there’s always a constant… “ I want to grow up already” with a cherry on top - tantrums.
As a child, growing up means independence. I can do whatever I want, go wherever I want and eat the junk foods our parents never wanted us to have late at night. I can also fall in love and get drunk. I can make my own choices and no one has a say to anything because I am a grown up. Oh, how we all wanted to sit in the grown ups table and talk about our jobs!!!
*It’s really funny how we always wanted to grow up faster.*
Now that I’m a bit of a grown up, uggggghhhh, I think we can all agree we all want to be a child again. I kept on thinking about how chocolates can make me so happy back then but now having chocolates means getting fat and it will bring up a lot of self-image issues. I also kept thinking about how picking up flowers and putting it in your hair can make you feel like the prettiest girl in the world, now all of these make-up and skin care just to meet the never attainable beauty standards.
*It’s really funny how we want to rewind time and be pure and innocent again.*
But I think a misconception is that you can’t be both, that being a child is an entirely different thing from being an adult. When you’re a child, you must enjoy and not have responsibilities because that’s what a child is. Similarly, when you’re an adult you must focus on your responsibilities rather than have fun because, just because that's how life works.
This made me realize that I killed someone, *metaphorically…*
I killed my (inner) child.
And I’m sure I’m not alone in this one, we all committed murder in killing our own inner child.
Every time we deny ourselves to be vulnerable, to depend on others, to laugh at the smallest thing and to make the slightest mistake, we kill it.
A child can be a child and an adult at the same time and more importantly, an adult can be a child too. It’s not polar opposites, they actually compliment each other. A child helps you be carefree and an adult helps you to be cautious. You can be both, you don’t have to kill anyone, or in this case any part of you.
Sadly, in our generation being vulnerable and acting child-like is considered a weakness, but it’s actually a strength. Only a few people can integrate both in their lives and those people mostly are the happy ones because they recognize that you have to have that child-like attitude to fully enjoy your life.
Though, we should note that being child-like is entirely different from being childish. Being pure and enjoying the smallest thing in life is entirely different from being a complete grown up, physically, who refuses to grow up and face responsibilities and consequences.
I just noticed recently how I’m so hard on myself whenever my inner child wants to go out. I always viewed it as a weakness and that my child-like attitude should already be buried because I am an adult but that saps out the life inside. The world literally turned gray and no more color and sparkles everywhere, it was such a sad place.
I hope that we would stop committing murder, not just physical ones but internal ones as well.
May we all start to revive our inner child and make the world sparkle again.
Lead image: Photo by Leo Rivas on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@leorivas?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/child?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Pretty Privilege
I have been catching up on The Good Doctor over my mini vacation. I last saw the first season during college and now I’m surprised that it’s already in season 4!
Well I guess, time really flies fast. I contemplated if I will start at season 2 since I finished season 1 already but I forgot most of it and I have the extra time, so I decided to rewatch season 1.
As I was watching, one line really struck me, even before, I remember tweeting it because of the weigh it gives me and I genuinely think that this is true. It goes along the lines of…
“Attractive people have certain advantages.”
It was said by Dr. Shaun Murphy, a surgical resident in San Jose, St. Bonventure Hospital. He was diagnosed with autism and at the same time, with savant syndrome.
If you look at it, if he has autism which makes it difficult for him to follow social cues, for him to say it, it must be really evident.
It’s also a topic that’s been popping up in social media lately. I have seen a few videos on Facebook and Tiktok about how they have experienced pretty privilege.
**Pretty Privilege**
Pretty privilege works in the principle that people who are deemed more attractive—based on societal beauty standards—have an upper hand in the world and are afforded many opportunities that us regular folks don't have.
Source https://www.myimperfectlife.com/features/pretty-privilege
First things first, do I believe in it? Absolutely.
I think it's hyprocrisy or plain ignorance trying to believe otherwise.
Have I experienced pretty privilege? **I wish.** HAHAHAHAHA.
I think, so far, I have worked hard for everything that I have now and I wish I was pretty enough to even qualify for a privilege.
But there have been numerous stories about how some pretty girls - as defined by the societal beauty standard - have experienced it. From as simple as getting an extra donut in their orders, getting discounts in certain restaurants and to getting assisted first and even nicer compared to other people.
I mean, it’s already 2021, discrimination have been hated for the longest time. More and more campaigns are being organized to raise awareness so that injustices and inequality will be eradicated.
Personal Experiences
I remember there were times that when another girl and I entered a shop at the same time, people were more inclined to serve her, even though they can just basically split the job and serve us both.
And in high school and even college, do you notice how after every event the whole class would clean up and stack up chairs. The prettier ones got the boys' help while the others have to do it on their own?
How about when it comes to talents and presentations, I’m just kinda pissed of at how attractive people always gets the lead role even if there is someone who has more talent for it.
I know it sound petty and it feels like I’m whining why I don't get these privileges but there are people who experience being discriminated because of these privileges. And worse some people are having mental issues, especially if this is being slapped on to their faces.
I think it’s not that evident in this time as compared to before. Mainly because we're learning that we really have different perceptions about beauty and if you look at it, I know it sounds cliche, **we are really beautiful in our own way.**
Boys have pretty privileges too
I do believe that this is not only applicable to girls, I’m a firm believer that boys experience this too. For all I know this can even be more evident in them.
Do you know how we joke about when a supposedly “ugly guy'' tries to help you, and our immediate response is that they are being a pervert? When a supposedly “handsome guy” helps you out, we think of them highly as a gentleman and would praise them for it.
It has different applications and perceptions but the basic concept is still there, pretty privilege can be experience regardless of gender.
There are more instances and scenarios where pretty privileges have been present but we are not aware of it because we don't think of it as harmful. I think some of us might have felt discriminated against at one point in our life.
Though, I’m happy that most people don’t experience this as much unlike before but it is still out there.
For me pretty privilege is so 2010, treating each other equally with no biases is the new cool and sexy. hehe.
Lead image: Photo by Amelia Wahyuningtias on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@amelia_w2706?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/girl-shadow?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Work Ethic Comparison: UK vs. PH
As I’ve written in my previous articles, I have had the privilege of being virtually seconded in one of our offices in London, United Kingdom. Secondment is more like being an exchange employee and I was sent there to have a view of what an audit looks like there. *If it weren’t for the pandemic, I would’ve flown there and stayed there for 3 months but as the circumstances require, we have to do the secondment virtually.*
I worked with the London team and clients during my stay and it was a stretching experience. I get to experience direct communication, meetings and actual audit work in those months. It was a tiring yet a fulfilling time.
Along with the great experience and learning, I must say that I did have a hard time. There were days that I’d cry because I was overwhelmed and as most of you do not know, I’m such a cry baby - I’m a softie at heart. (uwu)
One of the major reasons for having a hard time is that everything is virtual and as much as I want a more micromanaged approach, it will be difficult to ask for it. The other difficulty that I had is the shift in time zones. I have been a morning person for all my life and I suddenly had to work around 4pm - 12am which was a huge adjustment.
But in those times that I have been working for our London office, I have experienced this differences:
Independence
In the Philippines, it felt like my managers would always check up if everyone is doing something. Even though they don’t do anything it felt like I was being watched and constantly asked if I’m doing my work, which I am. There are some that would even ask for an update everyday just to make sure the work is being done.
Working in the UK I felt that I was given more freedom and I was trusted more to do my job. It’s usually just an instruction through a call or an email and it’s expected for you to get the work done, no updates and if you have questions, just ask. The feeling was a relief, that I was given the space and the time to figure things out first instead of being asked what I have been doing.
Holidays
One of the main reasons that we were seconded is because of the shortage of staff in the UK during summer - their summer. Many are using their holiday or vacation leave and it’s not like in the Philippines that most of the time we file vacation leaves for 3 days and feel really guilty about it. In the UK, they file for weeks, some even months and it’s totally acceptable there. It’s actually supported and employees are encouraged to do it.
I do think that this is a good culture to adapt here in the Philippines, all of us are seriously overworked and a guilt-free holiday feels like a dream to us but leaves are our right and benefits, we are entitled to use it.
Calls and Meetings
It’s a good thing that I researched before I started with my secondment because apparently in the UK, most of the time when you call someone you do it through video call which is a big no no in the Philippines. I only turned on my camera when the client insisted that I do, which never happened to me ever but in the UK, all of the calls have to be done with the camera on.
I’m not sure if it’s minor for some but it requires adjustment from my end because I have to dress appropriately. I mean, who doesn’t like to wear pajamas while working from home? I also need to make sure that I am presentable and my environment is somewhat decent.
Chika (Chit-chat)
I have noticed a big comparison on how people from the UK work during work hours. Everyone is expected to do productive things and everyone does productive things while in the Philippines, I think we incorporate chika or talking to workmates during work hours. It has an impact on your output but I feel like workmates in the Philippines are closer than workmates in the UK for this reason. I also feel like people in the UK are more serious than what we are in the Philippines so I have to really tone down my chatty self.
Overtime
Most of them, if not all, rarely work overtime in the UK. Here in the Philippines I can only say one thing “sana all” (I hope everyone experiences that). I feel like it's much easier to say that I can’t meet the deadline and it’s more flexible to extend the deadline rather than here in the Philippines. To put it in a statement, the deadline moves in the UK, the working hours move in the Philippines.
I feel like they also value life outside work more. That's why they don’t really trap themselves in their work and let’s admit it their pay is sufficient to meet their needs. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why they don’t work longer than ours.
These are just some of the few and major differences that I noticed. Again this is just my personal experiences and it can’t generalize both countries.
Overall, I’m beyond grateful for this experience I have learned a lot especially in adjusting to a different culture.
Lead image: Photo by Bram Naus on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/@bramnaus?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/work-ethic?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Testosterone and Stereotypes
**Warning:** *Might have some trigger about sexual stuff and might be a bit explicit for some.*
**Side note:** *Please do correct me if I'm wrong and your entitled to feel and say what you want after reading this.*
I was lying on my bed, scrolling through different social media apps. I just switch from Twitter to Facebook to Instagram to Messenger to Tiktok and I just continue laying down there repeating that cycle. Every once in a while, I visit my crypto apps and it makes me smile as most of the coins are in green lately. (Finally!)
As I was mindlessly watching Tiktok videos, I came across an interesting video, which I think would be a good starting point to raise a conversation. It was by a man that was asking thought-provoking questions, opvisions. His recent ones, as the time of writing, was about gender inequality.
Gender inequality, now that’s a great topic. One point that’s really bugging me is the fact that some gender uses or campaigns gender equality when it is only convenient to them, which apply to both sides - male and female.
But that conversation is for another topic, my mind was really struck by his question…
***“Women talk about how hormones influence their emotions and behavior. Why are there women who shame men for being horny when testosterone is a male hormone?"***
Okay, take a few breaths and read it again.
One more time...
..
.
It was hard to process for me and I never thought that this question would provoke my mind for a long time. I honestly never in my life thought about it that way.
But first, let me just clear things out. I am not a supporter of any form of sexual abuse or harassment and what I am about to write doesn’t support it. I’m just coming from a place of trying to see the other side and looking at a different lens.
Estrogen
It's clear that estrogen is closely linked with women's emotional well-being. It acts everywhere in the body, including the parts of the brain that control emotion. It is also linked to **mood disruptions** that occur only in women- premenstrual syndrome, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and postpartum depression.
Source https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/estrogen-and-womens-emotions
Let’s admit it, we've all have heard of premenstrual syndrome or most commonly known as PMS. And as a woman, believe me when I tell you it’s real. Some take it to the extreme but we don’t know if that is her acting or her hormones and thinking the first one makes it condescending.
A lot of breakups happen during PMS and a lot of guys know this… or maybe not? One of the main reasons is the ever so mood-disruptor, estrogen. For some it would make them angry or irritable but for me, I turn into a cry baby. I just cry about the smallest thing and I don’t even know why!!! I wish I was making this up but I have no possible explanation for it except for my hormones.
Testosterone
Testosterone is the **major sex hormone** in males and plays a number of important roles, such as:
The development of the penis and testes
The deepening of the voice during puberty
The appearance of facial and pubic hair starting at puberty; later in life, it may play a role in balding
Muscle size and strength
Bone growth and strength
Sex drive (libido)
Sperm production
**Source** https://www.health.harvard.edu/drugs-and-medications/testosterone--what-it-does-and-doesnt-do
Now, if you look at it could there be a possibility of men having increased sex drive because of the production of testosterone during puberty? A deeper question is, is it something a man should be ashamed of or worse, ridiculed for?
If you look at it from the same side in a woman’s point of view - is this also a hormonal change that we need to learn to control. But if we don’t accept the fact that it could be a hormonal change, some men might blame themselves as to why they feel these things. I can’t speak for them, obviously.
I tried to find resources but I really can’t dive deeper as I am not familiar with what’s discussed in some papers and I don’t want to put anything here that I can’t explain for myself.
Again, I know that this could’ve repercussions which I can’t even put into words, like using this as an excuse for their sexual acts but it is never my intention.
It’s just mind boggling for me at how few people see it in this perspective.
***I think I just want to raise that part of gender equality is being understanding to each other and I think putting this out here might help.***
See you around!
Lead image: Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@wflwong?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/men?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Choices, choices
I have read that everyday, you make a choice. Quite frankly, we can even narrow it down to every minute or even second. **Sometimes I wonder if breathing is also a choice?** Though I’m sure that it’s one of the few that’s just ingrained in us, just like showering, eating and the likes but technically, we choose to do it. **Even if we choose not to do anything, we’re still choosing and we choose not to do anything.**
I have been scrolling through my notifications and I have noticed that @Olasquare tagged me in a challenge which I know is long due but I still want to hop on and join the thread! I think this is a good way of knowing other writers here in read.cash and a way of self awareness, I honestly don’t know what I would choose for myself too. https://read.cash/
If I’m not mistaken, this all started with @Zhyne06 ‘s this or that challenge, so thank you for making a fun challenge like this. https://read.cash/@Zhyne06/this-or-that-challenge-12035fc7#comment-e14f6dfc
Cookies or Cake
Phew! A tough start! I would go with cookies, it’s more convenient and it’s lessy messy to eat than a cake. You can also put lots of nuts and chocolate chips and chunks in cookies unlike in cakes, you can only put it as a topping.
Cat or dog
Honestly, none. I want a turtle!!! I wanted to get one but I was told it brings bad luck and my mom said it easily gets lost. But this is due to the heavy influence of youtube, have you seen a turtle eat? They’re the cutest thing ever!
PS. We do have a dog and I love them both but if given a choice, I believe in turtle supremacy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTLhnRxOnBQ
Hot Chocolate or Coffee
In a heartbeat, I’d scream at the top of my lungs, COFFEE!!!
I have written numerous articles about how my bloodstream is half coffee, it’s what sustains me everyday. I’ve been trying to lessen it though, switching up with tea from time to time but coffee is life.
Text Message or Call
I’d rather call. Things get resolved faster in a call and I can read the tonality and expressions in a call rather than in text messages. Though a side note, please text or chat first before calling to help the other person prepare especially if it’s not urgent., it’s a big sign of respect.
Rain or Snow
I haven’t experienced both so I’m not sure if I’m in the position to answer this. But I’ve been told that even though snow is quite instagram friendly, it has a more dangerous outcome than rain. A few of those are frostbites, hypothermia, slippery roads and many more. For this one, I’d go with rain, but it’s a dream to make a snow angel one day.
Comedy or Horror
This is a tough as I like both, it’s probably depending on my mood but if I’m alone, I’m more inclined to watch comedy, specifically romcom, But with my friends and cousins, we’d definitely binge watch lots and lots of horror films.
Hamburgers or Hotdogs
I’m not really a fan of Hotdogs and I’m a super, duper fan of Hamburgers, so this would be an easy one - Hamburgers! As I turned 21-ish I started falling in love with burgers, I don’t know what happened to me but I crave burgers from time to time now.
Witches or Wizards
Under the heavy influence of Harry Pottah (insert Draco Malfoy’s voice), I’d go with wizards. Though I haven’t read the book, I’ve watched all of the Harry Potter movies multiple times already.
Fire or Ice
Well, I’m an Aries - one of the fire signs, so I’d definitely go with FIRE! I think my personality is like fire, honestly. I can keep you warm but once you start to mess with me, uh-uh except for a big scene. HAHAHAHA. I’m also quite passionate for the things I do and maybe that’s why people tell me that I have this fiery energy.
Love or Money
I think this is just a super basic one, I can make my own money and I can definitely provide for my own, so I’d go with love. Honestly, a lot of young professionals are changing the work culture, and more and more don't rely on pay checks anymore instead of how the company would help them develop and grow. A lot of us are realizing that money can make us happy but it’s not sustainable.
I enjoyed making this article, some made me think but some I’d answer in a snap. It’s amazing at how one article can give the readers an insight about you but unconsciously reveals parts of yourself to you as well.
Lead image: Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@garri?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/choice?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Where was I?
Heya, I know it’s been a while since I’ve come around here. I do owe most of you some love and reading. I will do my best to catch up but honestly speaking, I don’t know if I can keep up. You guys are so motivated and persistent, my notification is flooded. HAHAHAHA
Where was I?
For most part, I think I was busy these past few weeks. It’s mainly work related plus the struggle of not being able to go out freely and basically being stuck at home. This caused me to be uninspired and the uninspired version of me… apparently, doesn’t get too many light bulbs popping in.
Probably, the main reason that I was away is that I needed time and space to “shed my skin”. I always use that term when I want to rest and just absorb things. I do that from time to time. After a few days, weeks or even months of idleness I always come back more rooted and “organized” - as I call myself.
Though, this is not a process that I would want to go through every now and then, even if it’s needed, being in that space just makes me feel trapped. I just don’t know where to stand - it’s like waiting for just one catalyst to help me get moving, no matter how big or small that is and not to be a spoiler, you never know what it is.
I don’t know about you but as for me, I really, really hate waiting. I can’t stand it. I always tell people, if patience is a virtue, then I’m not virtuous at all.
Where am I?
If I’m being sarcastic, I’m on my bed. I’m eating a 360 PHP one pint ice cream, which is not worth it. (I want you to get something from my ramblings, one of the things I want to impart to you is that Magnum is not worth it, it never was and never will be.)
*I’m doing fine.* Honestly, I’ve been better than I am compared to the past couple of weeks or even months.
I recently got promoted as supervisor which is a mixed feeling. I’m happy that my efforts were recognized but it also means additional workload and a more stretching client and management demands.
In my city, we’re in strict quarantine again, for the 3rd time. I honestly don’t know if the measures that they are implementing are still making sense. It seems that the only viable option for them is these lockdowns, which is affecting the economy so bad.
Lastly, I’m kinda pissed with the recent Belo ad which is just saying that having pimples, gaining weight and not shaving hair during these times are the effect of a pandemic and it’s not our fault. They have a point but the ad was so insensitive and heavily capitalizes on the inadequacy that are both normal and doesn't mean much, especially during a pandemic. Most of us are already in our survival mode, just trying to get by each day. Let’s admit it too, not everyone has the means to buy skin care in a time when most of us are losing jobs.
Where will I be?
I honestly don’t know. If I asked you that, would you be able to answer?
It's hard to plan during a pandemic, for all I know if I planned something there’s a huge possibility of cancellation or postponement because we are living in a very uncertain time.
I’ve been buying books though, it’s been a while since I got the time and sanity to read properly and I’ve been enjoying it. I bought “Never Split the Difference” by Christopher Voss and Tahl Raz. I’ve heard that it’s a book about negotiation and it was written by the international kidnapping negotiator and it intrigued me. After all, negotiation is one of the basic skill sets anyone can have, so I will probably be reading that.
Where else will I be in the future? Hmmmmm…
Oh! I also took a 3 week leave in the office! I won’t work for 3 weeks! YAY! It’s a much needed break and it's the least that my company can do for me for all the hell they put me through.
So if you're seeing this, I highly encourage you to use your sick leaves and vacation leaves. They are there for a reason and it's your right to use it when you need to.
I was planning on going to Bagiuo to visit a friend and stay there but the lockdown happened so we cancelled it. I’m not sure what I will be doing for 3 weeks but come what may!
I just wanted to share to all of you my recent whereabouts and I hope and pray that all of you are doing great. Stay safe and see you around!
Lead image: Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@caleb_woods?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/hiding?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
Into the thick of it... Ugh!
First, I just want to say that this song was stuck in my head because of all the Tiktok videos that I watched. I watched Sound of Music thinking that it was from it, but only end up knowing that it’s from Backyardigans, a show from Nickelodeon that I used to watch as a child. I decided to make it a title for my article but I think it also matches what I am about to write because I’m getting thicc, if you know what I mean.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGulEuVC-IM
(I was listening to this while I'm writing this article, it's such a cute song. Ugh!)
After 14 days of quarantine, back to back celebrations and frequent takeaways, I am starting to gain weight. I don’t mind but I just don’t like when I can’t wear what I want anymore so my goal is to lose weight in the next few weeks or months.
Last night, we went on a night drive adventure with my family. To start off the night, I cooked dinner for all of us. I made soy chicken garlic which my sister taught me how to make. We usually eat out before we head out to save on expenses when we hit the road.
After dinner, we just prepared for a bit and left around 7:30 pm. We decided to search for a 7 eleven store because we heard that there was a sale. We were planning to get ice cream or some sweets that we can munch on while we’re in the park but we had no luck tonight because most of the 7 eleven stores are jam packed. We saw 3 7 eleven stores and all of them had long lines. We thought that if we waited in line for the things we would buy it would eat up a lot of time and we might end up being caught in the curfew which we are trying to avoid.
We parked in our usual hangout place and did our “shouting exercises”, which means that we just shout what we liked or what’s bothering us. I shouted how I wanted ice cream and how frustrated I am that I didn’t have to get any.
We toured the place and walked with the dogs. We didn’t buy food in this part of the park because we didn’t like what was being sold there. We ran a bit and played with the dogs then we headed out to the al fresco marketplace nearby.
This place is called “Global Market” and they sell a variety of things, from food to gadgets to clothes and many more. But because we’re into the thick of it, we only had one mission - to find desserts!!!
We started our adventure by touring the place and the first thing we spotted was the puto bumbong, a Filipino delicacy which is usually only available during the Christmas season. We haven’t had one for the longest time so this really got us up and going.
The next adventure was to search for a refreshment. We saw fruit juices but it’s around 60-100 php, which I think is a bit pricey. I thought if this was the price of a regular fruit drink, we might as well get a milk tea or frappe which would be around that price range.
We found a local coffee shop which is serving drip coffee and lately we’ve been supporting local coffee brands rather than mainstream ones. I got myself an iced cafe mocha which I think is a bad decision because it’s almost 9:00pm and we got ourselves coffee.
The coffee was amazing, 10/10! The place was really nice too. Luckily we got there a bit late so the people were already going home and it was peaceful by the time we ate our food. V was a bit of nuisance because there was a cat and V, as we call her, is “cataphobic”, a term we made up because she hates cats way too much.
We decided to wrap our night around 10:00pm and it’s already late. On the way home we listened to the playlist we made for road trips like this. It ranges from western, japanese, korean, filipino and many more songs, so it amazes us how the songs change genre every time.
It was a wonderful night, spent with amazing people and hopefully we get to have more adventures in the future.
Famous Songs Written by Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran has been considered as one of the musical geniuses out there during the 21st century, alongside Taylor Swift and many more underrated artists. I have been a fan since his first formal debut album called “plus” (+). Although he had tons of EPs and songs before that, it was the first album that brought him to the spotlight.
He recently announced that he will release 2 new albums in the next 18 months, which are “subtract” and “equal” to complete his mathematical reference. I’m super duper excited for this and I’m really hoping that things go back to normal so I could watch his concert if there would be one in my country.
Aside from all the songs that he produced under his album, he had tons of songs that he released and produced for other artists as well. These are some of the mainstream ones:
**LOVE YOURSELF BY JUSTIN BIEBER**
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI
This song actually had a funny story. Ed and JB just came from a party and had drinks when someone suddenly wanted to go and do some golf. They went to a golf park and there Justin asked Ed for Love Yourself. It was actually the first song to be written for divide and I thought it might even be one of his singles, along Shape of You.
In a recent interview with Ed, he said that he didn’t regret giving it to JB even though it turned into a massive hit. He said that it probably won’t be as big of a thing if he released it for himself and I do agree on this one. JB was slowly getting back on the music scene and Love Yourself is one of the songs that gave him more character, that’s why it became a huge thing.
COLD WATER BY JUSTIN BIEBER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBtDsQ4fhXY
I was shocked at first too at how some of the major hits by JB were actually written by Ed Sheeran. This was a song Ed didn’t even remember writing, it was still in process, maybe just a song that was forgotten or maybe a random one. One day, he was just surprised when Diplo emailed him asking if he can have the song called “Cold Water” then Ed never had a recollection of writing it.
**LITTLE THINGS BY ONE DIRECTION**
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPeNN9S0Fg
At first, I loved “Little Things” when I heard it the first time, it was just a delicate piece and it makes you feel in love but when I found out that Ed Sheeran wrote it, it actually made even more sense. Honestly, Ed wrote a few songs for One Direction including Moments, Over Again and 18. All of these songs are masterpieces even though they didn't get as much spotlight as they deserved.
This is one of my favorite performances by him and imagine you were part of this crowd, it would be so magical.
And the most recent one which sparked me to write this article would be…
PERMISSION TO DANCE BY BTS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuklIb9d3fI
(Side note: Stream Permission to Dance!)
He co-wrote the recent comeback of Bangtan called “Permission to Dance”. Though BTS already spoiled before that there would be a collaboration between the two of them, not sure if we are still expecting a song together with both of them signing. But I just recently listened to it but it’s quite similar with Dynamite vibes that just makes you get up on your feet and dance.
When I searched about it, I also found out that Ed also co-wrote the song “Make it Right” by BTS. It seems that they have been collaborating before and I’m just waiting for the time to see them both performing a song.
Lately, I’ve just been really excited to hear new music from Ed and because he recently got married and had kids. He’s slowly building his own family, I wonder what might be the impact on the music that he is going to produce.
I hope to hear more from Ed Sheeran soon!
Lead image: https://www.mediaweek.com.au/ed-sheeran-nova-gingerbread-label/
Planning for Nanay's 75th birthday
I’ve not been active lately, a bit busy with my life, work and just busy catching up on things. And most especially because on Saturday, it will be our lola’s 75th birthday. Some of you might know lola as grandma or nana, but for us we call our lola as nanay. It’s funny though because mama is our mom, nanay is our grandmother from father’s side and mommy is our grandmother from mother’s side. Oh well they’re all mothers in our heart.
We are currently busy planning for the celebration on Saturday. We just chose to do it in our house and all of the family members would gather. We didn’t invite family friends anymore for the risk of infecting each and everyone with the virus.
We will just probably order and cook some of our favorites. I’m quite not sure with the menu yet as I’m not that involved with planning everything because they usually plan at night and I am busy working during those hours.
Because of this, I called for an emergency meeting. I sent a message on our group chat and they all came to my room and we started our meeting.
Money Cake
One of the plans is to have a money cake, I’m actually assigned to find one and I haven’t got the time to find one and it’s already on Saturday. Wait, let me write it down on my to-do list for the day…
They’re planning to put 7,500 php in the cake, a dollar for each year of existence. I already found a baker who does this, the only thing to do is to contact her and give her specific instructions.
Food
Our family has always been fond of doing a lot of eating and gathering. Every birthday or occasion, we usually gather and celebrate together. We’re almost 20 in our family, so every occasion would include a series of food.
In rare times, we would always pick a cuisine like Chinese, Italian, Grilled and so forth but this time I think we would stick with nanay’s favorite foods.
Tiktok
We were told that we will do a tiktok presentation and hurriedly I sent a chat in our group chat and called a meeting to know what we will do. We brainstormed and thought of “tell me you’re nanay without telling me you’re nanay” but unfortunately, the one they wanted was for the kids to dance tiktok dances.
So kids would have to practice for the remaining days, maybe we’ll join them in dancing but these days I can’t follow through with the latest dance steps.
Gifts
Since it’s nanay’s 75th birthday, we planned for everyone to have a gift for her. Each one of us would have to think of a gift for her which is hard because she’s never materialistic. I usually just give her cash on her birthdays because honestly speaking you know how our parents love receiving cash for their birthdays. Another dilemma is that we are trying our best not to have repetitive gifts so a lot of brainstorming was really put into place.
These are some of the gifts we got for her:
**Sandals** - She recently discovered a great footwear that fits her feet and you know that our grandmas are a bit picky when it comes to stuff. She is constantly telling me that she wanted to buy this but I postponed it for her birthday.
**Knife** - We remembered her borrowing a knife from us and she didn’t return it so we decided to get her own knife, plus most of her knifes are old. She really needed a new one.
**Plants**- we saw this violet chili plant and got curious about it. I think she’ll like it since she’s a plantita or “halalola” as we call her.
**Portrait** - my sister would draw a picture of her and put it in a frame. The problem here is that it's really hard to find a picture of her since she's not fond of taking photos.
**Grocery items for her store** - since she had a store, we decided to buy some grocery items that she can sell at her mini store. It would help a lot so she doesn’t need to go out and buy things for a couple of weeks.
We’re excited for Nanay’s birthday, it’s not everyday that someone you love reaches 75 years of existence. I might share with you the happenings on the day itself but might not if things got busy.
I hope everything goes well on Saturday!
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The Dilemma of a Designated Coffee Maker
In the pre-pandemic times *(why do I make it feel like it was such a long, long time ago?)* I'm not really fond of coffee. I am more of a hot or fruit tea person and I can survive without coffee for months. I just usually buy some when I’m having a stressful day and I need to accomplish tons of work. I remember when I was still studying and working on-site, my go-to coffee would always be McDo Coffee Float because it’s quite cheap and so good for it’s price.
During the pandemic a lot of things changed. For most of us it turned into a 180 degree turn. One cup of coffee leads to another and another and for all I know we’re all making our own versions of Dalgona coffee.
For me coffee means productivity, I don’t know where I got this ideology but when I had my coffee I felt like I could start working on something, whether it be work or personal endeavors.
My love for coffee didn’t just stop at me, now all of us in the house are drinking coffee. Though, I think they always drank coffee before and I just started noticing it because we’re in the house most of the time.
This leads me to a dilemma, most of the time when I want to have a cup of coffee for myself, all of them would ask me to make some for them too. I mean, it’s fine but the struggle of differentiating the type of coffee they like is causing me headaches. One thing is for sure, we all like iced coffee but we prefer a different way of making coffee and it all depends on everyone’s mood.
On rare days we order coffee from McDonalds, Tim Hortons, Starbucks and some local ones but for most days, we make homemade coffee and 95% of the time, I make it. I just wanted a cup of coffee and all of a sudden I’m making 4 instead of one.
Today, I just wanted to share with you how I make each and everyone’s coffee.
Older Sister
Her coffee is usually a basic one, just coffee sugar and milk. Lately, she discovered the power of vanilla and she constantly make me use a dash of it. It’s good and makes your coffee smell so nice. She also had some chia seeds and used to add them to her drinks but lately she’s not using it, I have no idea why.
But some days, she’ll just drink Kopiko Blanca on ice, she likes it but it’s too creamy for me.
The prettiest of them all (Me)
My coffee depends on my mood but for today I just did a basic one too, just coffee, sugar and milk. On most days, I would add a scoop of chocolate powder to make it lean more on the Mocha side, sometimes I’ll just add a dash of vanilla. In rare times, I’ll just have coffee and sugar, no milk or cream, it’s good but it’s just for a certain mood.
Little Sister 1
She’s the queen of instant coffee, I remember the time where she’d drink Kopiko Brown every single day and that led her to her acidity. For her, I just used Kopiko Black and some milk, the easiest one among all of us. She’s not the picky and fussy type so she’ll always drink what I give to her and for most days, there’s no complaint.
Little Sister 2
She’s just 12 and the way she’s addicted to coffee lately is all our fault. Sometimes mom would scold us for it. Hehe. We usually just give her a basic coffee, just coffee, sugar and milk too but we always lessen the coffee and add more milk, because if she’s hyped up she’ll run around the house like crazy.
Our mom and dad always drank a lot of coffee while growing up, so maybe that’s where we got our fondness for coffee. We are planning on getting our own coffee machine soon but we are still gathering funds for it. I’m really loving the art of coffee and I want to try different types of beans soon. I hope to try some of the local cafes near our neighborhood too.
Satisfying my curious mind
Lately, I’ve been doing my best to get better. Though I'm not sick, I can tell that I am not the best version of myself these past couple of months. I’m not sure if this is just the quarantine messing up with my extrovert self and I am just having a hard time coping up with things. It could also be due to transitioning from a teenager, a dependent for almost 2 decades, to a full time adult which my family member depends on now.
I came across a Facebook post the other day and it was a discussion about where to find online courses and a lot of people recommended, some require payments, others are free and some you can apply for scholarships to take. https://www.facebook.com/groups/titatalksph/permalink/346965660219893
I browsed some of the sites and I applied for a scholarship in Project SPARTA by the Department of Science and Technology (DOST) and the Development Bank of the Philippines (DBP). It offers courses relating to Data Analysis, Data Scientist, Data Engineering and many more. https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fcoursebank.ph%2Fsparta%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR30HqBEMso-3zH5i2-mo7UbxT_cU29Z-NAnhrva35jaI1SRAYtgFEWAcco&h=AT2KSPvfNj9bpdM8_L5c_z9YxzAuW2Gyc3GMS2s9bLedtJWIDa2G8iEF-CpsstHDSA_362Kh6_WMlY5OPsKw3Ac4G_MQWWGyV1o6SDzbrSbJbVPHaf3-yM5QV08Ry2hd7u-q&__tn__=R]-R&c[0]=AT1L36j53jePJd3POrIBdrB5JxBaZrZttDMtF_seKDyftxDBCVVeNABX03S3DMQBfzII2FPzXsLlCVn4slk1CyIG9UXjQzy4fbPV1iK0zFHUdBinkM-5jkIRzeFYYYXknlVjaaebHe_DCLkxd2NybXdwRXxHeUEPjFQ
I am actually part of the Data and Analytics Team in our company and we strive to develop and improve the audit methodologies with the extensive use of Data and Analytics in the near future. There’s a lot of projects that we are launching and are about to launch.
Taking this course, I would really find it useful not just in my current work which is audit but for my future work too. As we are striving towards digitalization and the data streams that we encounter everyday is enormous, managing and understanding data will be quite useful, especially in the near future as we are expecting more transitions from traditional ways to automation.
I only applied to this scholarship but I’m ecstatic about it. I’m not sure if I’ll get in so I browsed through other websites for free online courses. I wanted to take something about stress management and I found one in Coursera, unfortunately it is being offered by University of Pittsburgh and the whole course was in Russian. Though there were subtitles, I’m not fond of it and I’m having a hard time understanding and absorbing the whole lecture.
I found another course about Positive Psychiatry and Mental Health by the University of Sydney. I finished my 1st week before writing this article and I am thrilled to have the chance to study again. I was always enjoying studying, even way before. Maybe that’s why I quite excelled in my studies before because I did fall in love with studying in general. I love satisfying my curious mind and loving back stories about theories and how each one of them correlates with each other.
The course was all about well-being and how to strive to have a good one, which is what I need right now. A lot of factors come into play and I’ll admit I neglected some of them. I am currently working on myself for a better overall health.
As most kids would hate going to school and some college students go to school just for the sake of complying and having certifications, I had a great time during college. I mean, I get it, studying is really not for everyone and we have different journey to take on. But for me, I genuinely had fun and of course I had sleepless nights and cried myself to some, majority of it I was happy.
I did plan on taking a Master's Degree in Business Administration (MBA) but due to the pandemic, I haven’t had the chance to get to enroll in any school. Probably because I really prefer a face to face set up rather than the online course. I think I'll learn more if it was a face to face set up and one of the major key getaway in enrolling for MBA is building connections which is quite a hard thing to do when you only met them through a zoom meeting.
After finishing my MBA, I was supposed to teach accounting subjects in either senior high school or college but most schools, especially elite ones require MBA for you to be able to teach. I tried applying last year but I got rejected as they were searching for a full-time faculty and I just can’t let go of my job and always wanted to do teaching as a part time job only.
I'm really happy to get back on my feet again and try to enroll in courses. I hope to get my MBA soon or finally get the chance to study photography and dress making. All of this is just making me realize that learning isn't really confined in schools anymore, that learning should never stop.
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Cheating, Murder and Death
I’m a bit late for the weekly prompt about cheating and I have said that I’ll write more about law. I’m pretty excited about this one as this is a governing law in our country, Philippines, that not a lot of people know.
Here is my take on the weekly prompt about cheating, @JonicaBradley
**Article 247 of the Revised Penal Code (Republic Act No. 3815)**
Any legally married person who having surprised his spouse in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person, shall kill any of them or both of them in the act or immediately thereafter, or shall inflict upon them any serious physical injury, shall suffer the penalty of destierro.
If he shall inflict upon them physical injuries of any other kind, he shall be exempt from punishment
Article 247 of the Revised Penal Code
Source https://lawphil.net/statutes/acts/act_3815_1930.html
The penalty of destierro is under correctional penalty.
Article 25 of the Revised Penal Code
Source https://lawphil.net/statutes/acts/act_3815_1930.html
To translate it in a more digestible manner, any spouse who caught their husband or wife committing sexual intercourse with another person and he or she had an outburst of emotion, having killed them and or caused serious physical injury shall only suffer a penalty of banishment. If the physical injury is less than serious, there would be no corresponding penalty.
Destierro is mere banishment and, as held in a case, is intended more for the protection of the accused from retaliation of the family members of the deceased than a punishment. On the other hand, if the physical injuries inflicted are less than serious, the offender is exempt from punishment
Source https://pcw.gov.ph/upholding-the-right-to-life-and-security-of-spouses-and-daughters-repealing-article-247-of-the-revised-penal-code/
First, you should note the term “**any legally married person**”, this article shall only apply to those couples who are having the benefit of marriage. So if you’re only in the manner of cohabiting with each other or most commonly known as live-in partners, this article shall not be applicable to you and you will suffer the corresponding punishment related to the acts done.
Second, the spouse should be surprised at the act of committing adultery and not just a mere suspicion and hearsay. You should have been in the right moment as having to caught them doing and committing the act of adultery.
If you’re thinking as to why this is included in the revised penal code, this is to protect the family honor and might be considered as just a burst of passion, if and only if the circumstances in the said articles are all present.
This is a hard topic to defend to be honest, as much as for other people it might be a “Oh, if my husband or wife is cheating on me, I can kill him and get away with it” proving innocence and providing evidence are another story.
This can also be seen as a violation of the Human Rights and can be seen as we are effectively giving more importance to a person’s reputation, image and esteem than to actual lives of people.
Article II Section 11 of the 1987 Philippine Constitution provides that “the State values the dignity of every human person and guarantees full respect for human rights.” Further, Article III, Section I provides that, “No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law.”
Source https://pcw.gov.ph/upholding-the-right-to-life-and-security-of-spouses-and-daughters-repealing-article-247-of-the-revised-penal-code/
This is a good topic to debate on, if this should be amended or should it still be part of the revised penal code and the more people are aware of this, it can actually be subject to abuse.
As my law professor told me, there is nothing wrong with the law, it’s in the implementation and interpretation where things get twisted and fucked up. The law has always been right and just, except that people are using it to their own benefit that's why we think that justice are only for selected individuals.
I can’t say all of the provisions and legal references related to this, as I am not a law student or professional and my fondness for law is the only thing that helps me discover these things.
For a detailed case, you can read the case of **THE PEOPLE OF THE PHILIPPINE ISLANDS,** *Plaintiff-Appellee*, vs. **FELICIANO EMBALIDO,** *Defendant-Appellant*. https://www.chanrobles.com/scdecisions/jurisprudence1933/mar1933/gr_l-37379_1933.php
See you around!
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Signatures and Burden of Proof
A bit of an update first, my Covid RT-PCR came today and I tested negative! YAY! But nope, this girl is not returning to work any time soon. I would stick to my 2-week leave and just shed some skin. Hopefully, this gets me more recharged and feel a bit positive with my work.
I recently got a chance to talk to a friend. We were talking about how we should hang out soon, as it has been quite some time since we last saw each other and we need to update each other on what’s happening with each other’s lives.
Of course, I had to decline for now since I have been sick for a week now and I don’t want to risk anyone having contacted me and possibly having the virus. We talked for a little while and I explained to her what’s been happening with me over the past weeks, then all of a sudden she pulled a paper in her wallet… which weirded me out.
It says there that I have to treat her to lunch if I pass the licensure examination, with my signature on the right bottom part. So of course, I was a bit skeptical how she got it and I had to argue my way out of it. It was a good argument but because of that I impromptu discussed the legal grounds concerning signatures here in my country, Philippines.
BE SKEPTICAL ABOUT SIGNING
I think we all have that parent-child moment where our parents would warn us not to sign anything without fully understanding what it says. Along with it, that we should not sign blank papers as they can be used against us and they can put whatever they want. Well... technically, I agree that you should only sign documents which you fully read and fully understand but honestly, not every signature can be imposed against you. If you are skeptical about if you really signed it or if you signed but it's not in the form you understand it to be, the burden to prove that you and the other have an agreement is on their side, not yours. Technically, the somewhat "protection" is with the one who the document is being imposed to.
SIGNING EVERYWHERE IS VALID
It is a common practice to sign at the right bottom part of legal documents but it doesn’t matter honestly. Even if you sign it on top, right, left or bottom, **signing the document is signing the document**. So the argument that you should have signed in the right bottom part really doesn’t matter, once you sign the document anywhere, you give it a legal life and it can be imposed on you.
INITIALS ARE SIGNATURE
I don’t know about you but I always have 2 kinds of signatures, one I use for formal documents and another one to use for just random things that require my signature, like an Official Receipt for a small item. Even though the other one is just a shortened version of my real signature, both of them are considered as legal or binding, both of them can be used against me. Signatures are just proof that you agree with the contract, no matter what form they may seem to be and honestly, there are no legal forms of a signature. You can write it however you want and I just remembered that as a child, I even invented a superstar signature, the one I would use if I were to be a superstar one day and this too, can be binding against me.
And with digitalization and the whole pandemic thing, electronic signatures are wildly accepted these days. There is actually an existing republic act for it, RA 8792 but I think it needs to be more regulated to prevent future frauds.
BURDEN OF PROOF
If one day, someone comes up to you and says that you have to pay them one million because he/she has a contract that states those clauses and you signed it, the burden of proof is obviously on their side. They have to prove that not only it is your real signature but they also have to prove that you agree on whatever the stipulation or agreement there is.
Let’s say that 10 years ago, you sold a piece of jewelry to me and now you’re requesting for payment, the one million, this can be proof that I am indeed indebted to you but of course, it’s not as conclusive as it would be, but it could work as evidence.
Overall, I just wanted to say that not everything you sign or you think you sign can be imposed against you, you can have protection and if you want to know more, you can study the RA 386: CIVIL CODE OF THE PHILIPPINES starting from Section 1156, obligations and contracts. For more details about electronic signature, you can read RA 8792: AN ACT PROVIDING FOR THE RECOGNITION AND USE OF ELECTRONIC COMMERCIAL AND NON-COMMERCIAL TRANSACTIONS AND DOCUMENTS, PENALTIES FOR UNLAWFUL USE THEREOF AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES.
I know bits and pieces about this because I used to take this subject way back in college and law was always an interesting subject for me. To be honest, I took up accountancy because I wanted to be a lawyer but now... I'm not pretty sure but that doesn't stop me in finding law amusing.
I hope you learn a thing or two, I might do some law facts again, as I really enjoyed writing about this one.
See you around!!!!
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How to YOLO Wisely: Realizations
This is my 8th day in quarantine and isolation. I’m starting to get better and I’m just praying to have a favorable result when the swab test comes through.
I have been watching a lot of movies, tiktok and youtube videos over the past few days. To be honest, I also finished a book in a 2 day span, though it’s a short book, around 160 pages but it’s been a while since I sat down and just had the peace of mind to read a book and actually finish a book.
I contemplated in starting this one as I haven’t finished my on-going book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, but that book takes way too long to read because it makes me realized so much. So I took a break from it and went on a little side book.
It’s How to YOLO wisely by Nomad Finance Girl, the one I read was a digital copy given to me by a friend I met here in read.cash, @CrazyRichFilipina . I’ve read quite a few finance books and most of them would be the same, it will teach you how to save, earn and invest but rarely does it teach you to enjoy now.
YOLO now, YOLO later
A lot of us have been taught the concept of delayed gratification, that people should only be splurging when they have enough money or when they’re rich enough for it. But if you really look at it, nothing will ever be enough, we would always want more, we have an infinite amount of needs and wants.
And we don’t have to choose between, YOLO now or YOLO later, we can have both! Which can really, really have a great impact on our mental health. We can’t just be expected to burn ourselves out just to pay bills, save and invest. We need to reward ourselves too but we can't over reward ourselves in the risk of sabotaging our future.
Many financials would make us choose one and most of the time we would choose to save up for out future but should we really sacrifice our youth just to have a more secure future? Is it worth it? These thoughts have been pondering my mind lately.
CHOOSE YOURSELF
I’m not sure if this is part of the book or maybe part of the tiktok vid that I watched, it says that there are kind and nice people in the world which experienced an unbalanced state of give and take. They will always be on the giving side and with nothing to take, it always have been this way, so even to themselves they can’t give anything. They’re having difficulties in buying things for themselves and if they do, they feel bad at it because it’s a foreign feeling for them, as they are, again, used to giving.
I feel like I’ve been thinking this way and I’m having a hard time buying things for myself or choosing myself and I hope to overcome this soon. That's why I'm really excited in implementing the 6 money jar system for myself too! I plan on splurging my first play jar immediately, maybe going on a spa day or buying some skin care products for myself!
MONEY MINDSET
It says there that the mindset about money will determine how much of an impact it will have on your life. That money is just a tool and you don’t have to be a slave of it. Money is neutral, it could be bad or good depending on the motive of who uses it. I like to think that money is just one of the flowing things in the world and that there is more than enough for everyone else. I like to think that our universe is built on the concept of abundance, each one of us has a destined miracle for us. We just have to receive it at the perfect time.
We are not born to just pay bills, save and invest
This is such a great opener, sometimes we look way ahead of the future and when we are in the future, we worry about our future too. So we're now worrying about the future of our future. I know lots of us don’t have the luxury to enjoy things now but I think we should start prioritizing enjoying our lives now too.
Like for me, even though I graduated in college and have a job I feel like I haven’t really sat down and rewarded myself for all the challenges that I have to surpass just to get here and I have been feeling burnt out for the longest time.
These are some of the things that have been dwelling on my mind since last night. I have realized a lot and hopefully I get to change how I view things, especially money and jobs. I forgot that our mind is powerful and it attracts what you firmly believe in.
For the longest time, I have been afraid, especially during this pandemic and lately, I’m feeling a bit hopeful that I think I’m getting better. Still a long way, but I want to start taking actions in making myself better and to have courage to try things again.
Remember that you only live once.
See you around.
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In Isolation
Last Friday, I was ecstatic about the weekend because last Monday, we had a wellness break. It’s a designated day where our company would be giving us a day off for the mental being of its employees. This made me so happy because we finally had a day off during these stressful times. Of course, being the *“kaladkarin”* girl that I am, I set up a plan with my friends. We were supposed to have lunch and catch up on how everyone was doing.
But again, life has a way of fucking with us, I had an asthma attack last Saturday morning. I was having difficulties breathing and had a dry cough. I was a bit concerned because of course, it has the same symptoms of a Covid case.
I had to cancel the lunch date with friends and I immediately scheduled a check up. Fortunately, our HMO provides teleconsultation so I don’t need to physically go to a hospital. The consultation was quick, the doctor just asked me a few questions and having asthma is not new to me so we just wrapped up quickly.
I was prescribed 4 types of medicine, including an antibiotic because the doctor thinks it was quite severe. I also had a new inhaler because I forgot what my last one was called. Hehe.
Then on Sunday night, I started having fever and muscle pain. I felt nausea at times too and my cough is just an uncontrollable mess. I tried to get a second opinion on what is happening to me and the doctor suggested that I have to visit a doctor as soon as I am able, a face to face consultation was needed for better diagnosis.
I visited yet another doctor and I was prescribed a bunch of medicines again. I was also advised to isolate myself just to be sure that I am not infecting anyone. And **I just felt that the quarantine isn’t enough torture for my extrovert self, I needed to isolate myself even more.**
I was also asked to get a swab testing to make sure that this is not Covid-19. It's my second time having this and I'm pretty sure I'll never get used to having someone poke your brains out through your nose.
These are some of the things that I did to take care of myself when I’m in isolation:
INHALER IS THE KEY
Of course, if you had an asthma attack you should run for your inhaler, if there is one accessible to you. If not, nebulizers are also a must have. Most of the time, when I use my inhaler before things get worse, I save myself from all of the meds and a week of catching my breath.
DRINK YOUR WATER B****
Oh, I can’t emphasize this enough. That’s why water therapy is a thing, it really helps a lot in healing our body, not just with asthma but in most of the disease or sickness that we have. I always have water by my side even if I’m not sick so if I ever wake up in the middle of the night and get a bit lazy in fetching water, I wouldn’t have an excuse.
SLEEP
I just spend all day in bed and half of it, maybe 2/3 of my day sleeping. Well, honestly I don't have much to do because I don't much of energy either. So it's either watch a film or sleep and I haven't been having coffee for the longest time so maybe that's the reason I get sleepy all the time.
POUND THE ALARM
I don’t know if this would be a problem to you but it is for me, I always forget to drink medicine. Most of the time I need to physically see them all the time to remind myself that I need to take them on time. But I discovered a hack that always works and ever since I was using it, I never failed to take medicines on time. I set an alarm for each medicine that I have to take, I name the alarm after the designated medicine for that time and it works wonders!
MOVIES
I’ve been watching a bunch of movies and series lately, my recent ones were Cruella and Sightless, both are highly recommended. I’ve been thinking of watching a horror film like Wrong Turn or maybe some RomCom from Adam Sandlers. I also watched a bunch of tiktok videos and a bit of The Big Bang Theory.
I’m just a bit sad because I didn’t celebrate my wellness long weekend the way that I originally planned to, but maybe this is a sign of really just taking rest. I’m really not in a great condition lately and the mental strain that I’m going through is really affecting me physically.
I need to take care of myself better.
Lead image: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/@anniespratt?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText https://unsplash.com/s/photos/isolation?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText
6 Jar Money Management System: Benefit and FAQs
In my last article I have given an overview of T Harv Eker’s 6 Jars Money Management. (read here: https://read.cash/@deedum/6-jars-money-management-system-overview-557ff93c)
Now, let us discuss the benefits in adapting it.
CREATING SYSTEMS
In one of my articles, I talked about how we should’ve system instead of goals because for me it will be healthier to do it that way. By applying this money management system you are creating a habit and once you get the hang of it, it will be easier along the way. https://read.cash/@deedum/systems-not-goals-4c1f4f87
The thing is, budgeting has always been a systematic process and for me, if you really can’t manage your money when it’s still small you’d have difficulties in handling it on a large scale. So as early as now, if you don’t have a budget system, I suggest you start one.
ALLOCATION
What I love about this money management system is that it gives you a more specific “jars” instead of the 50-30-20 rule. I’ve used that for 6 months, it made me control my finances but I always interlap between needs and wants. I sometimes get money from my needs or vice versa.
I didn’t really value rewarding myself and I felt guilty every time I did it. I love reading and as much as I want to buy a physical book, I’d refrain from doing it because I don’t have a budget for it.
I mean if you look at it, it’s more of a self-control issue but “needs” and “wants” are such broad spectrums, unlike in this system, there are somewhat more specific allocations.
SELF-LOVE
I felt that this was a good system, because it incorporates self love. You have your play jar and I swear I really can’t wait to get a hold of my play jar and splurge on things I’ve wanted all this time. Because in the 50-30-20 system, I always wait until month end to see if I still have money in my “wants” account so I can splurge it on things. And not much of a shocker, I don’t really have much left but in this system, once your income arrives, you designate a portion of your salary to play with, which is so nice.
Another thing is the education jar, I love how it values growth and development and how it encourages you to learn more. It’s really hard to judge if a book is a want or a need, even if I’ll buy a self-help book, I feel like it’s more of a want than a need. And I always wanted to learn photography and dress-making, but I realized I will never really set aside money for the learning itself and the tools needed to learn it but with this system hopefully, I get to learn those things.
GIVING
I know most money management systems encourage you to give back but researching about this system made me realize one thing. My concept of giving is confined to tithes, charities and NGOs. I remember doing a 6 month tithes challenge and I successfully did it only to not give out the money to the local church at the end. I feel bad for it but it was a huge amount of money and I haven’t had the mindset yet to let go of that relatively big amount.
But as I was reading, it doesn’t always have to be big, it can start small like visiting a friend and bringing snacks. You can also support your friend's newly opened business or buy a gift to your family members without thinking too much of your budget because you have a fund for it. I never saw it this way and hopefully with this mindset, I’d be more comfortable in giving back and my goal is to send a stranger to school someday. Hopefully, I can do it. So I think the essence is in your small way you can help people even if it’s not that grand yet, again make it a habit and it’ll be easier in the future.
I’ll also include some of the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) that I asked when I’m learning this system and hopefully it helps you along the way too.
**What if my necessities cover more than 55% of my income?**
It’s really not on the percentages that we should focus, we should focus on the habit itself. The percentages are only the ideals but most people change it up a bit. I also changed some percentage for myself honestly. There’s no cookie cutter theory, you should always adjust it so that it would fit your situation. I’ll do an article about how I applied this system and I’ll elaborate more.
**Do I need to manage all of my money using this system?**
Well, for me it’s a bit hard to have different systems at the same time so I always applied one system in all of the income flows that I received. But some youtubers said that you can just start with a hundred peso or a dollar, just as long as you’re starting a habit and slowly you’ll be more comfortable in managing your finances.
**Can I have more or less than 6 jars?**
Totally, it's still your life dude. HAHAHAHA. But the 6 jars again are the ideal ones and how I wish we live in a perfect world, but we don't so as I always say, you should really adjust it to your situation. Again, we're doing this to learn how to manage our finances and if you let someone tells you what to do, would that ruin the point of it all?
This is just the guide, the ultimate choice would still be yours on how you'd like to do it.
If you have more questions, I could answer them or you can do your own research if you’d like but I encourage everyone to get a better hold of their finances.
There would be two more articles after this, one is how I apply it using my salary and the other is how I apply it using my crypto earnings.
I’m really enjoying this kind of content lately, I feel like I’m learning a lot.
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