When I was a kid, the time when I saw my Mom and Dad struggling on putting a food on our table. Showing us their best smile even if I can see exhaustion in their eyes. The time that we are so lucky to be able to eat 3 times a day. I am so young back then but I felt it. I feel so useless on our home who can't do anything for my parents. They are doing their best to live but I guess it's not enough because until my Mom's last breath, she's are still working to give the life they dream on giving to us.
That day, the time when Mom died because of a disease that can be cure but because we don't have a single penny on our pocket, we can't bring her to the hospital. And she died while still working just for a small amount. I cried so hard that time, I even promise to myself that I will do anything for my 2 other siblings and will give them a comfortable life. Dad on the other hand become a robot who works for the sake of money.
He forget us and he will just move because he has to. He become a robot, emotionless and always thinking. The Daddy we know become a cold hearted person. And then he meet those people that just influenced him to drink, smoke even tried drugs and all. He forget about us and just do his own things. I understand him because the woman he love for too long died and he was left behind with us that he has to care of.
Every night me and my siblings will just sleep without putting anything on our stomach. I sometimes hear my sister cries because of hunger. But what can an 8 year old boy can do that time. I'm just a small kid who doesn't know anything. I am useless coz I can't even take care of my sister and brother, when in fact I made a promise to Mom that I will take good care of them and will do anything just to make them happy.
But how am I going to do it, if our father was also gone. He's here with us but he's mind is in somewhere else. He's always drunk and the money he earned will just be spent to his alcohol. I understand him, but this is already too much. That's why I did the unthinkable and woke him up from his long hiatus. Good thing I successfully did it. He came back to us and the old Dad that we know when Mom was still alive is here with us again.
I am so happy that time because from then on we can finally eat 3 times a day. Sometimes Dad will brought snacks for us and my me and siblings is so happy. Dad also spend time with us teaching us a lot things that he said we can make use when we get old. I learn a lot from him, me and my siblings. And then one time, while me my brother, my sister and Dad was eating. I saw the hidden sadness of my Dad's face. He's still not moving on, I know. Even me that's why I know.
And so I made a promised to myself that I will do anything to put a smile on their face always. I dream big to achieve big. They become my inspiration to move forward and try to move up in the ladder of success. You know, when you put your heart into what you're doing you can really achieve everything, as long as you never forget the reason of why you're giving your all. It's because of them.
But not all the time everything will happen to the way you want it to happen. There are still a times that you will fall, but because of the goals that you set not only for yourself but for you family. Yeah, I stand up on my own without the help of the others and this is where everything change. I feel like I'm on top of the world that I forgot to step on the ground. I become too greedy, I was blinded by what money and power can do.
And that where everything collapse. The time that I always have for my family was slowly decreasing. It become often as I always have a reason to reject the time that we should have spend. I lose focus and control to my goals. I become a cold hearted person too and nothing can satisfy me anymore except money and success to every thing that I did. But good thing, I have my family with me. They help me heal from this blindness.
I finally come to my senses, and this where I thought that having too much is sometimes bad especially if you become too greedy of money. Settings goals and dreaming big is good, as long as you don't forget the real purpose of why you're doing it. What's your reason of why your striving and working hard? What's you reason of why you're dreaming big? We shouldn't really forget all of those if you want to stay humble and stay the same as you are 20 years from now.
Note: this is just a work of fiction, this is really not my story and it was created by my malikot na kautakan, huehue.
Lead Image from Unsplash
August 31, 2021