I think I'm Okay, I'm breathing even though I'm sweating, from running to the problems that keep on chasing me. I'll be lying if I said I'm not scared, I am In fact, I am shaking. But I have to wear a mask, so that no one can make a move and dig the wound that I have on my skin. It's hard but I tried, it's my fight that's why I will fly high! And reach the peak with my own feet. I will break the walls that will try to stop me, using my fist, that I sharpened through the rock in a mountain I will do it! No more dramas from now own, I will just lit the light of my determination and I will get there and will only cry - but victorious!
This ain't easy, but I know I can rock it. Coz I believe in me and that's what some of you were lacking. You doubt yourself too much like you self sabotaging your own self. Lol You know it's not the others who's pulling you down to the ground, it is actually YOU! You just don't notice it because you are too focus on your imperfections. But dude, have you ever tried stopping doubting yourself? You easily lose your cool just because they open their mouths and throw you some rotten apple. But instead of avoiding it, you purposely catch it with your face.
And then you will hide in your room like a loser, sulking and whining. Fighting with yourself but you can't open your mouth when you're in front of those frick. I once a loser back in my days. I'm a good for nothing young lad who couldn't even stand on his own feet just because of a lame reason. I'm not confident with my face, I have a lot of insecurities and I hate myself so much back then. And you all know that it should be us who will love ourself first if we want to see a different light in this lifetime. The world is so harsh so if you can't do even just that - then say Hi to a miserable life.
It's hard, I know I've been there - done this and that. You'll get not just a scratch but a big wound if you accidentally fall. Yes not just physical wound that you can get there. You, yourself may break down because of hardship. You can forget the reason why you're fighting because of that big fall. You might encounter a lot of people that instead of pulling you up, you will be thrown more into the pit and they will push you more and made you a laughingstock of the town. They will toy you, taunt you, spit on you, whip you with their harsh words and stab you with the truth the you have no one but only yourself.
But you know even if you have no one as long as you have yourself, then that's already a big reason to fight back. Wake up from your long sleep in that slumber of doubt and try to move your ass. Nothing will change if you dwell into it too much. You can start on changing your mindset and loving yourself more. Doubt, insecurities and fears will never gonna get you anywhere so why not erase that and replace it with only a clear vision of what you really want in your life? Be confident, be courageous and believe in yourself that you can do it.
Hey, I know it's hard we might encounter some dangerous stuffs and face those pointed arrows in front of us. But we can still do it you know. We can feel fears, but don't let thay emotions control you because it will bring you nothing, as in. You can doubt yourself from time to time but letting it eat your whole being will only bring nothing. But it can be your motivation to move forward and be brave to whatever you will face in the future.
Oh Gosh, why I'm only good on saying things like this but me myself can't erase this doubt, fears and insecurities in my system. It's easy to say but but it is so hard to do. This post is like, I'm encouraging myself to get up and start to move from my comfort zone and be courageous to face the world. This is just some of the things that stopping me to move forward. But, I know I can get out from this yeah I can. I just need someone who can be with me in my own journey. Like Lutcho maybe? Huehue.
By the way, big thanks to these amazing people @Eylz2021 @Peter-Molnar for the renewal of Sponsorship. You the best 💙😙.
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September 01, 2021
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Ramdam ko yung gigil mo every line ateng Ruffa. Pero akala ko talaga totoong totoo na eh, but thank you sa mga patamang words ate haha. Natauhan din ako. Sana magawa ko yan sa sarili ko.