What's my favourite memory? Day 4 Challenge
*"Every time you miss your childhood*, *ride on a bicycle!"*
-Mehmet Murat İldan. https://kidadl.com/quotes/best-childhood-quotes-that-will-make-you-nostalgic
Yesterday was children's day in Nigeria and it's something I want to talk to you about for the day 4 Gratitude Challenge. Children celebrating their day on the 27th brought beautiful memories to me as a once a child and I couldn't stop smiling remembering them.
My favourite memory is when I was a child. There are many things I have done as a child and I want to thank my parents for bringing me into the world as the second child. I woke up at 4 am to do some things and I was reading @Kushyzee's article. It made me smile as I flashback to the past and how I and the other children enjoyed the moment. I will tell you some of what I did as a child and how some came to turn me into who I am today.
***PLAYING WITH OTHER KIDS***
One thing about me then was that I love to be the leader of all activities and the other children would cooperate with me. I have always been the one dragging my siblings into the rain and we would play. Our parents never shouted at us though but left us to play. There are times we would use paper to make a boat, and seeing the boat floating and moving in the rain makes us happy.
While involved in roleplaying, I would be the one sharing roles and scenes with other kids. I am always the mother with a plastic baby doll as my baby is tied to my back. We would find tins and add much sand into them. One would be for rice, another for solid food, depending on what we are eating for the play. We use our room when mom and dad have gone out and when we are through, I will make sure we all sweep everywhere and make it neat before our parents come back.
Our parents, though, were strict, but they still gave us the freedom to play with other children but would give us a particular time we should come in, especially at night. Starting from 7 pm after eating dinner, we would be given an hour to play and everyone would rush out to call our friends to play ***"Hide and Seek"***. There is a staircase in our compound, that was our usual spot and a perfect place to hide under the stairs as there were different hiding places and one wouldn't be easily located since it's dark and there wouldn't be light then. We enjoyed that moment with many more fun activities like playing in the sand, after round one, original panadol extra...I know many Nigerians born at that time would know this. Others like Tenten, rubber playing, suwe games, who is in the garden and so on.
***STEALING MOM'S MONEY***
When we were growing up and I was in Primary School then. I had a best friend who was the same age as me and in the same class. Her mom sells bread while mine sold Nylon. They both were together and every day they will sell massively. My mom was a popular Nylon maker and seller then and people will rush to her to get some for their businesses. We never lacked even though we aren't that rich but we lived happily.
The money that was always given to me and my siblings wasn't always enough and my friend and I teamed up together to start stealing a small amount of money from our mothers' purses so we could add to the money being given to us every morning. There was the food canteen woman who sells a very delicious meal around the school and we were always looking forward to eating in the morning at her place before going to school and that was our plan of taking the money. We just want to eat and form big girls with a lot of money.
As of then, when you use #100 ($0.1) to buy food and meat, you are already enough and should last you hours before thinking of what to eat in the afternoon. On Sundays, with the money we stole, we would buy some clothes and trousers for #50 each and they were always good. Mom would wonder where we got money from and I quickly tell her it was the money given to us every morning to school since we don't spend it 😅😅
This moment too was fun. My best friend should still be alive by God's grace and I wish to set my eyes on her again. I can say that was the only girl I had as a best friend, my partner in petty stealing 🤣
***DAD'S GIRL EVERYWHERE***
I have always been tagged as Dad's girl everywhere including in school. For all the schools I attended right from Kindergarten to my Senior Secondary School, Dad has never missed a day checking on us except for days he travelled. He wasn't someone who goes to the office every morning, he was an instrumentalist and musician. So, he only goes out when he has an event to play. Mom was a trader and she didn't know our school but at least one of them made it a priority to visit us to see what we were up to.
People wondered how he has always been consistently checking on his children and he was awarded the best parent who keeps coming to visit us during one of the Parents Teachers Association meetings. My Dad tried for us then and I am so proud to have him. Whenever he shows up in school, all pupils will shout *"Busayo your dad has come".* He was always the first parent to arrive whenever there is a meeting or any event which makes him respected among all teachers and principals. He became the permanent musician for events that took place in the school.
***MY FIRST EARNINGS AS A CHILD***
I should have written this on Hive but I couldn't then, I will just summarize. When I finished Junior Secondary School, before school resumed for Senior Secondary School, I had in mind to start a little business because I got the idea from my mom. She gave me some money for a start. I went to buy packets of sweets, biscuits, chewing gum, goody-goody, chocolates with sticks etc and was selling them in my mom's shop. I was always looking forward to having a customer on the first day which made me sad because I didn't understand things were in step then. The next day, I had only a child as a customer, then my siblings were the next even though they stole much of my stuff which I would cry to report to Dad and he would pay me back.
I started doing Nutri C, which comes in different flavours (Coke and Fanta) and our freezer was very good. In minutes, everything in it would get iced and people patronized me so well. My siblings would always steal some to drink, I would complain but they wouldn't stop.
That was when I realized what goes around will come around... I used to steal mom's money but didn't know how it felt but someone was doing it to me, I felt it. Lol
The business was what made me determined to be independent because mom taught me so. She never depended on Dad's money except he gave to her and that didn't stop her from preparing meals on the table. Let me stop here because I have a lot of childhood memories.
Thanks for reading
Lead Image created on Canva.
All images are taken from pexels and pixabay.
Source 1, Source 2, Source 3, and Source 4 https://www.pexels.com/photo/toddlers-forming-a-circle-754769/ https://pixabay.com/es/photos/ni%c3%b1ez-siluetas-alegr%c3%ada-salto-playa-1058488/ https://www.pexels.com/photo/receipt-folded-into-paper-plane-on-grass-707191/ https://www.pexels.com/photo/little-boy-playing-in-the-sand-6459/
May 28, 2022] (No 148 articles for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/so-gentle-and-stubborn-b1c16857#may-27-2022-no-147-articles-for-the-year
So Gentle and Stubborn!!! 🧐
*"Every day I feel is a blessing from God. And I consider it a new beginning. Yeah, everything is beautiful".*
Prince https://www.azquotes.com/quote/236599?ref=beautiful-day
*I am almost leaving my Aunt's place and I can't wait to be active back again. Seriously, I missed a lot of things while with her but I just had to endure till this moment. There are many things I could have done, but couldn't do them all because I was always tired and stressed at the end of the day, making me not to enjoy coming online and when the next day arrives, I am always sad not accomplishing my targets. Well, all is well and I would definitely make up with all.*
There is a contest I entered in on Hive in the LadiesofHive community and I love the question and felt like sharing it here too. I hope you enjoy it.
*What was your position (in terms of birth) in the family? How did that experience help you become, or hinder you from becoming, a successful adult?*
I'm proud to be the second born in a family of seven before, but now turned six because of the loss years ago but I never regretted ever being a second born. In fact, I enjoy the position especially when I decided to take the responsibility of being the eldest and that was because the firstborn who is a girl left our family to live with grandma at the age of 3 and ever since then, people thought I was the firstborn, watching over my three siblings.
Even when after many years, our big sis came to visit us, no one knew her as our sister but I still held on to the first position at her absence which I felt was a huge responsibility and a bit tasking for me.
Our parents expected me to do everything since I am the eldest and wouldn't allow my siblings to do anything because they believe I should have the strength than others and also lead by example.
Being the second born made me like a mother to my siblings and I would always be there to defend them anywhere but only the ones who chose to stay in their lane because no one can vouch for me as I was so weak and gentle. Though, very stubborn but I can insult anyone who dares cross my path 😁
Just as I read @zellypearl 's post about the misconception of being a second child. Well for the part where she says they are ***"unbearably stubborn"***, of a truth I am. I can be so hard to please in some areas and my yes would always be yes without anyone changing my mind, and I can be too soft in other areas like if you come for a favour. I have been this way right from when I was young.
Being the second born and becoming the first by default, was really tasking and huge for me because there were many things I would forgo just to please my siblings. Mom would be like *"you are immature, can't you just act as a big sis and give out your stuff?"* I would stare at my mom and would be like ***"is it every time I release things to my siblings all in the name of showing seniority?"***
There were also some days when people would think my immediate younger sister is the senior because of her huge stature while I have a short one. She is a bit stubborn, reserved, bossy, and lousy and won't take no for an answer. She knows how to defend herself anywhere and many times, she would just start a fight with me asking me to fight back but being the soft and weak child, I would end up begging her not to beat me 😅
People have even said to my face if only she has come as the eldest so she can always defend me whenever there is a problem and she also has pleaded we should exchange positions as she wanted to be my senior since I am not swift in some areas. In short, I was unwise in some parts and it does hurt her to see me that way.
While growing up, everyone was proud of who I was becoming and I learned to take responsibility for myself and my family. I also learnt many things from my big sis as she was focused and when she started working, responsibilities were huge on her which made me pity her.
Sincerely, there are some stages where the firstborn would be focused on so they can depend on them and wouldn't want them to live a wayward life. Even aside from that, I decided to help my sister by relieving her of some responsibilities because it is not easy and I know the task ahead of them (the firstborn) especially when you have a lot of younger ones.
I have always been happy coming as the second born and I have determined to also try my best to help my siblings so the work wouldn't be too much on our firstborn. Though I was someone they thought was weak then but I became strong seeing what is ahead of me.
*HOW DID THE EXPERIENCE HELP ME BECOME, OR HINDER ME FROM BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL ADULT?*
My sister taught me what and how being a firstborn should be and what to expect when she wasn't around and the experience I had growing up and taking care of my siblings in my own way made me stronger and determined to continue taking care of them.
The role has helped me become independent as I didn't want to depend on my big sis again knowing we are four behind her and for her not to get tired easily, I learnt to take things as they come and be swiftly and quick in dealing with problems. I know what it is to become the first child and how great the responsibility is, I have learnt to make myself available for my younger ones and not to make them think otherwise of me.
Today, through the experiences in the past and how I have come to wake up to help my siblings, my immediate younger sister is always proud and happy I came before her and also to know that she has got me whenever she needs help especially financially and I am happy I learnt things in a hard way from my parents while growing up and the absence of my sister made me who I am today. She doesn't want to be my senior again because I am always giving her money 😅😅
I have not gotten to my dream yet, but I am working towards it every day and I would want to continue being that elder sister to my siblings, one who they can run to anytime they need help.
Though I might be stubborn, it's for a good cause and many times a bit anti-social since I am learning to interact socially with people.
Thanks for reading
@Ellawrites *I am deeply grateful for such an opportunity to be my sponsor. Sincerely, I love and appreciate it. God bless you 🥰*
[May 27, 2022] (No 147 articles for the year)
To all my existing sponsors, thanks for supporting me all the time. You are amazing to me always.
Do I have a favorite part? Day 3 Challenge
*“Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.”*
– Wayne Huizenga https://www.google.com/amp/s/parade.com/936820/parade/good-morning-quotes/amp/
*Now, continuing with Day 3 of the Gratitude Challenge, it talks about "My favourite part of the morning".*
Do I even have a favourite part? Perhaps it could have asked, *"What's your favourite part of the day?"* I think it's still easier to choose than going for a favourite part of the morning. It makes me think if we have two parts in the morning again. Do we?
Perhaps for me to choose, let me explain what I do in the morning when I am alone and this would help me have a final say of what I'd chosen then.
*Oh! I just remembered now. The mid-morning starts from 12 am to 6 am while the second part of the morning takes over from 6 am to 11:59 am. Perhaps I might be right and if I am not, I would like to hear from you.*
So, let's talk about the first part of the morning; I love staying up till 2 am most times from the previous night when I have a lot to do or perhaps I need to grind more and this makes my work easier and less when the day dawns.
We would agree that the early part of the morning, starting from 2-4 am is always an active time for many of us who choose to make use of the time to think straight and have beautiful ideas. At this time, I love to make my brain work to assume different things and you will notice you assimilate more readings at that time. This is mostly for those who love reading and studying. Also, if you are a writer, this time is perfect to get ideas more than during the day when there would be noise all around you and when it's getting to 6 am, others would be trying to wake up, making noises here and there with things clashing into each other.
As a student then, I love setting my alarm at 2 am and most times, 3 am just to have enough rest after sleeping at 11 pm since I know I would be up at that moment to read and study. I noticed when I take any book to read, a lot of ideas would flow in and you will be amazed at the beautiful thoughts occupying your mind. This is because your brain is just coming up afresh and the first thing it allows is positive thinking at that moment.
The same thing goes when you wake up thinking about problems. When you think there is no way out, at that moment, your brain starts working on negativity and makes you see yourself as nobody. What you feed your mind, heart and brain with, is what it will process out for you.
If you notice, your brain is sharp at that moment and it makes you unleash your creativity most times, you are shocked at to what extent you have been creative with things and the next thing is for you to start putting them down and practicing them and trust me, the result would be amazing. At that odd hour, you feel cool, and lighter and seem as if a heavyweight has been lifted off your body just as @DocLayla said in her recent post which I agree with since it happens to me too.
So, make use of your time productively, especially during that odd hour.
When I am getting new ideas and thoughts then, for I not to forget them easily, I jot them down in my journal that I keep beside me because I can just wake up in the middle of the night when something hit my mind and I wouldn't want to let it slip away like that, I write them down no matter how sweet the sleep is.
Then the second part of the morning begins from 6 am to 11 am and at that moment, you feel distracted by the activities of people when they are waking up. Some go to fetch water, some cook their meals while they greet each other while the stubborn and unconcerned ones would put on their Bluetooth or MP3 player to listen to cool music, thereby disturbing your moment.
At 6 am, is when I observe my morning prayer and it lasts for thirty minutes or an hour depending on how the spirit takes over. I love spending more time with God at that moment because I feel I won't be able to do that till the end of the day and for it not to look as if I worship other gods(like giving more time to work than spending time with God) apart from Him, I would have spent enough time with Him in the morning while the remaining days would be praying silently in my mind while I do other things.
After that, I do some works like sweeping, laying on my bed, arranging some things that need to be arranged, brushing my teeth, and taking my bath then I pick up my phone to engage online. Also, I engage in a little exercise and most importantly, drinking a glass of water to fill me up.
My mantra is always **"If you don't work, you won't eat".** I make sure to have done all necessary tasks in my room even if it would take my time, I won't eat until I am done with all. So, while engaging online, I would use the opportunity to be preparing my meal. Though I don't eat until it's 11 am to 12 pm and that is how I spent my morning.
So, if I were to choose my favourite part since I have divided it into two, it would be that moment when new ideas are sent to my brain and make my creativity work. That is the first part of the morning which starts from 12 am to 6 am which I do enjoy most and if it's possible not to sleep at all, I would gladly enjoy it more because I would be active to do many things which will make the remaining hours in the day simpler and less work for me.
Thanks for reading
*The lead image is designed on Canva. All images are taken from pixabay;* *Source 1* *,**Source 2* *and* *Source 3* https://pixabay.com/es/photos/ma%c3%b1ana-habitaci%c3%b3n-cama-puerta-ni%c3%b1a-1850893/ https://pixabay.com/es/photos/libro-leer-mujer-gafas-de-lectura-841171/ https://pixabay.com/es/photos/computadora-port%c3%a1til-mano-bol%c3%adgrafo-2178656/
[May 26, 2022] (No 146 articles for the year)
He has a reason. Do you believe it?
*"There will be times when doors close. Accept it. That chapter ended for a reason and in due time you will understand why".*
Germany Kent https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/everything-happens-for-a-reason
Yesterday morning (around 11 am), Aunt sent me to deliver some clothes to a customer and prayed that I meet the parents so they can give me money because she needed it urgently since she had no cash with her and was not ready to go to the bank or nearby POS. The place wasn't far, just ten minute walk to their house. I got to their gate and knocked so hard. No one was responding. I got angry because I was in the Sun and had nowhere to hide, perhaps a shade. I have been working in the house since and also trekking to the customer's house, I don't expect to be delayed again. I didn't want anything to add to my problem. LOL
I stood there for over ten minutes, still, no one came to meet me. Then I called my Aunt so she could inform them I was at the gate but she wasn't picking up. I wonder why she has a phone and I needed her at that moment. A few minutes later, she flashed and I called her back, already frustrated and I told her about what I was facing. While still on call, a car drove into the street and just a horn, made the people inside come out to open. It was the parents I was expecting. The mother waved at me to come over and I gave them the clothes and I was paid.
While going back home, my thought was *"Since I have been banging and knocking at the gate for many minutes, no one came to open but just a horn of their car brought them out. What just happened?"*
Then another thought came in ***"God has reasons for whatever happens, so don't fret"***
Aunt already prayed for me to see them so I could collect some money from them and if I had knocked and someone came to collect those clothes, I might not be given the money because the parents weren't around but God made such happen and I had to wait even though I was under the sun and angrier because of the situation.
I might as well leave in anger because of that, not knowing they were on the way and I could have missed my way from them. I would only get home with no money and it would be another way to go back later when I was so tired yesterday that I couldn't go anywhere. Well, Aunt would have gone but I learnt a lesson that morning.
This is how many of us are. When we are faced with any problems, we think it just happened but God actually knows what we are facing and He is getting ready for a breakthrough, but when our attitude of impatience takes away the result we wanted, we will fail and not receive anything we expected.
Though we are going through a lot, God understands and He knows all. He will never allow a problem bigger than you to overwhelm you because He has many good ways to give you what you desire.
*God has a reason you went out and hit your leg on a stone.*
*God has a reason you were disappointed by a friend or family.*
*God has a reason you were sacked from your place of work.*
*God has a reason you read and failed the exam.*
*God has a reason someone delayed you and made you miss an important mission.*
*God has a reason you need to go to the next street hurriedly but a neighbour came to gossip, stopping you for some talks.*
*God has a reason you woke up early to beat the traffic on the road but your mom called at that time with some discussions in the house.*
*God has a reason you had a breakup in your relationship.*
However, behind a breakthrough, there is always a hard moment that we don't expect to face but don't fret, things would be better because there is always a way with God. He doesn't want to give you simple but needs you to go through some challenges to equip you in becoming a stronger person to be able to handle the next success coming ahead.
So, next time you are faced with a little drawback, just don't get scared but believe in God that there is a reason it happened because you are getting towards having the best breakthrough.
*Never allow your anger to take it away from you*
*Never permit impatience to deprive you*
*Never allow your bad character to make people see another personality in you.*
If I had shown my mood yesterday morning due to what I faced with the people I came to meet, they might also not be happy and something else could have happened, instead, they were like "Sorry" with an expression even though they didn't say it out.
Wait on God because things are coming to you when you do not expect them. I don't know who I might be talking to right now but we all do need this encouragement. You are working hard, yes I know and it seems things aren't favouring you, No, don't give up yet. You might be getting there, but a little push can get you there. So, you need more time, patience and perseverance.
Thanks for reading
*Image from* *Unsplash* https://unsplash.com/photos/fWiJ8gWRjRQ
[May 25, 2022] (No 145 articles for the year)
A Bad Monday
*“Everything is going to be okay. Actually, it’ll turn out better than okay. You’ll see.”*
Unknown
Yesterday took another bad turn for me. As I am writing this, I am feeling pains in my body, especially my back and this has started last Tuesday when I have been in my Aunt's place. I can't remember the last time I felt like this. Seriously, I am not enjoying my stay but I just had to endure for a few days and leave. The thought that I will never visit her again kept coming yesterday but I still would end up going there. I cannot complain, because I signed the contract of coming over and I wouldn´t want her to start saying words at me.
I spoke with my brother last night and explained what I was going through, he laughed and consoled me. He said he understood what I am going through because he has been there before. My brother is now giving me an experience 😁😁
We woke up at 7 am, and I started working in the house. First thing I washed my clothes before starting the customer's clothes. I drew some water from the well inside because I calculated that by the time we finished everything, I would have been so tired and wouldn't be able to fetch water inside, which is important.
We stopped washing around 2 pm and by this time, I couldn't lift my body again. I couldn't bend down to pick something because I was the one going up and down, to fetch water more for washing, spreading the clothes on the rope, pouring water away while Aunt was only sitting but she didn't know I was doing the huge work. I would have loved to sit down too like her but I couldn't. You would feel my pains if you had seen me yesterday.
I went inside and sat down on a chair but I was still feeling pain, I lay down on the bed and slept off. By the time I woke up, Aunt was still working. Sincerely, she is a workaholic but she doesn't give herself rest ever since I knew her many years ago.
You can't preach to her about taking rest. She is really a strong woman but she wants others to be like her. Me? No! I can't overwork myself to such an extent.
She asked me to prepare some food, I told her I needed more rest because of the pain as I still couldn't bend down to pick something. She has drained the hell out of me since last week. She was scared yesterday when she saw me and thought I wanted to feel sick. Why won't I? When I have done more than what I shouldn't do daily, it has really affected me and I can't wait to leave this week.
After a while, I managed to prepare lunch and we ate. That was the only time she got to rest and immediately after eating, she resumed back to more work. Really? That woman is something else 😁😁
I didn't even mind her, I was on my phone watching some videos on YouTube as I was not in the mood to engage with some articles. The pain was still there but I managed to fake some smiles while watching those funny videos.
I quickly forced myself to do my Dreemport tasks, submit a post on Blurt and replied to comments on my previous article here. Aunt was still working by then. She was only calling me to pick something for her and other things she remembered.
Later in the evening, I checked Hive and I saw a post by Eco Alex, the admin for the EcoTrain community titled "Last Post"
I was curious to read it and when I did, I was shocked that the guy is leaving Hive for good reasons best known to him. I started being a moderator in March and just a few months later, he is finally leaving Hive, which means QOTW *(Question of the week)* activities will stop and I will cease to be a moderator again.
I felt something in my heart and was already missing him. According to him, he has spent almost five years on Steemit and Hive together and he is also over 50 years old and wants to stop blogging and focus on his personal life to enjoy more adventures.
A guy even commented if he can just delegate some people to the community so EcoTrain would continue but he refused and wanted to put a stop to everything on his accounts (his personal account and EcoTrain account) though he is not powering down for now.
I went to Discord to check if he left a message for the team and he did even before writing the post. I felt emotional but he has his reasons. Besides, someone who already spent almost five years needs to focus more on his life as he spent all his moments in Hive. He took it as his job but he was missing other things, the decision was hard for him but he had to go with it.
I can't believe I would stop being a moderator but it's alright, I will be fine without one.
I continued with visiting articles here and when I touched 20 posts, though my body was willing to do more, my spirit was weak and we would still be up early again to continue working. I know I won't rest until I leave her place. So, I just need to keep managing myself while I endure the pain.
This has really affected my activeness here. Please, just give me a few days till I leave, I will make sure to be active as before.
Thanks for reading
*Image by* *Kirstine* *on pixabay* https://pixabay.com/es/illustrations/dolor-de-espalda-dolor-espalda-7169762/
[May 24, 2022] (No 144 articles for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/something-i-find-comfort-in-a58b7534#may-23-2022-no-143-articles-for-the-year
Something I find comfort in?
*"I'm O.K. having a comfortable life. I don't have to live in a mansion and drive Aston Martins or Ferraris".*
Mya https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/mya-quotes
Okay, guys, it's day 2 of the ***"Gratitude Challenge"*** by @Jane. I am wishing you all a wonderful week again. Once again, thank you for always showing up on my articles.
If I may ask you, what do you find comfort in? What makes things at ease for you? We all want to live a comfortable life, we don't want anything that would tamper with our daily lives and health. If it is possible, we can just sit down and order things to appear in front of us, without having to stand up, take your money, head out and chase the last bus on the road.
Those who live in Lagos do not have a choice but are already used to such a life, just to make ends meet. Many aren't happy with the job they are doing but they are doing it just to keep food on their tables. Who wouldn't want a stress free life? Who wouldn't want to live in a comfortable home? For me, something I find comfort in is a home with everything being provided in it. From the tank bringing in water inside to a complete bathroom and toilet that is neat and sparkling clean, stable electricity, if not, there should be a generator or solar light, different foodstuffs in the kitchen cabinet, fully loaded GOTV/ DSTV/ STARTIMES subscription etc.
Let me flashback to the life I lived in the school, compared to my hometown and how I find comfort and do not want to leave my village.
When I gained admission three years ago, the house we (me and my roommate) were lucky to rent was very close to the school and also the money wasn't much $50-$60 per year. It wasn't convenient staying with someone, as I wanted to be alone. Thank God she relocated to a room that was vacant in the same building and I was left alone, which was what I wanted, still, the house was a mess.
The house has 13 rooms, some had roommates and we were more than twenty living in the building with two tattered bathrooms and toilets *(if you are not careful at night, rats would jump on you)* Sincerely, I would describe the house as a poor man's house and a low budget one but when we first got to school, there wasn't much we were given from home, so we had to settle for the ones that were manageable.
Though we don't fight like cats and rats, the only problem is that many students fight over who is to wash the bathroom and toilet which is always stinking and the water does not go easily. When it's my turn to wash the bathroom, I feel sad and irritated because I would use a packer and a broom to pack the water into the closet. Many of us would pee on the floor and the water we used to flush it still wouldn't go through the pipe. So, it was like living in hell. The doors of the two bathrooms are already rusted and if you place your towel on them, just make sure you dust it well before placing it back on your body. I will have to carry my water through the rooms before I get to the bathroom *(my room is number 4, while the bathroom is at the end of the thirteenth room)* and many times I have queued to take my bath unless I wake up very early at 5 am before anyone wakes up.
Water too is a big problem. If you are lucky to wake up by 4 am, you would fetch water from the well in front of the house and if not, get ready to start looking for water wherever you see it because many houses are always stingy with their water. I lived a bad and uncomfortable life during my studies but I didn't have a choice.
I would carry water on my head, and many times would go like five times just to have more water for myself.
I never found comfort living in that house. I remembered last year when I said I wanted to rent another apartment that would be more comfortable than that. When I tried searching for an apartment, I couldn't find one that was to my taste and so, I gave up. Since it was my sister who wanted to pay the rent, I decided to use the money for a laptop since I needed one. I spoke to my sister and explained things to her and moreover, I would be graduating soon. She agreed and used the money to get a laptop for me.
When I graduated, I was happy because I knew I would only be travelling and won't be staying much in the house. When I got to my village, I lived a comfortable life there. I don't need to fetch water, just turning the tap in the bathroom would make me do whatever I want to do. I used to take my bath more than twice a day because there was running water everywhere. My room has its own bathroom and toilet where I don't need to struggle with anyone. I go whenever I need it and wash it when it's dirty. The water closet was always sparkling clean that one could even eat in it.
This is the kind of comfort I want for myself. I don't like stress and anything that would disturb my peaceful life, I don't want it.
In fact, I have decided to get a good apartment when I am posted for my service. I want a home that has everything without me going to fetch water outside or carry a bucket to the next building to take my bath. Everything should be provided in my home. I want a peaceful home and environment where people don't need to know I am indoors. I would make sure I keep stocking my house with foodstuffs so that I wouldn't have to keep going to the market always. I want to sleep without cockroaches or rats disturbing my sleep. I want to be in my room without being afraid of insects coming to harass me. Lol
Seriously, I don't pray to live such a life I lived in school again.
I want a simple life for myself and wouldn't like disturbances. I have tried guessing the amount to rent an apartment and I hope to get one around $500-$600 per year. At least I have saved up to this for the home I would be renting.
A friend suggested that I should go for Corpers' lodge so I don´t have to waste my money, I quickly rejected it 😁😁 I don't want to live a low life and I believe God will always provide because I am always aiming higher. I don't want to share my bathroom and kitchen with anyone. I don't want people to know what I am cooking or what I am up to in my room. I love my privacy and I would make sure I give myself such comfort.
Thanks for reading.
*Images by* *Amy* *Pandu* *and* *Curology* *on Unsplash* https://unsplash.com/photos/HCggWH-eNkQ https://unsplash.com/photos/x1JoLTIBeuU https://unsplash.com/photos/ycEKahEaO5U
[May 23, 2022] (No 143 articles for the year)
A priceless gift
*"All the gold, diamonds and other jewels on earth cannot match the shine of love and care that you have bestowed upon me. You have given me the priceless gift of life and the priceless gift of having such a great sister".*
Unknown
So, I have accepted the thirty days gratitude challenge by @Jane and I might not follow the numbers because there would definitely be days an idea of a topic might show up and would have to skip it, and I might not go with everything. I would choose randomly. Lol.
The first on the list is “a person I am glad to have in my life”.
Before I continue, I would like to appreciate everyone who contributed to my previous article about emotional blackmailing. We all have said our minds and the majority of us were of the opinion that Adam should go and see his father before he die. Yes, if the man dies, Adam will live to regret it forever and might not even forgive his mother for taking it slow to tell him her reasons for stopping him to see his father when he needed to see his son. According to Daniel, he assumed the father had been acting strong for Adam and asked him “what if you are the one making him to be alive all these while and when he has set his eyes on you, he kept calling your name even while on his sickbed”. It´s so sad though.
Okay, I have been on my bed for minutes last night at 11 pm trying to find one person I am glad to have in my life and can´t seem to choose one out of the numerous names popping out of my mind. Though the people I intended to choose from are my family and I still find it difficult to take one. That doesn't mean I am not glad to have everyone in my life but after deciding, I finally got to pick one and that is my elder sister.
I could remember the story of how she was taken away from us immediately after she was weaned, and at the age of 3 years and went to live with grandma. She did her primary school, and high school and went to a boarding school to complete her secondary education.
She was only acting as a good child she was then, not knowing there are better days for her. She came to Ibadan to live with my Aunt for a few months because she came to attend a tutorial for the Jamb exam and after she wrote her exams, she went back to the village and was given admission into the University of Benin thereafter. She passed through the four years of studies as a computer engineer and graduated with a beautiful grade.
She went to serve in the Eastern part of Nigeria and life brought her to Lagos where she works for different companies from home with her laptop. She has been doing amazingly well ever since then and made sure to always put her siblings first.
Every month, she would always extend her hand to us as we receive some amount of money from her as tips. I and my other siblings were happy and grateful to God for giving us such an amazing lady as the firstborn.
I remembered the story Dad told us when he would always travel home to check on her and our cousin who was of the same age as her. Dad would counsel both of them to face their studies. My sister obeyed my father while our cousin got pregnant and couldn't finish her secondary education as she was sent away from grandma´s place, they got angry and disappointed at what she did.
My sister concentrated and focused on her studies as she followed the advice of everyone. She never paid attention to any guy then as she was working hard to be the best person. I also remembered many times we have fought and would disrespect her, but I do get punished by Dad. She and my immediate younger sister fought really hard years back, they both were still in their teenage years then. My younger sister was never allowed to be beaten as she was ready to paint our sister blue-black 😂 She had a giant and huge body then and this was what she used to defend herself as she wouldn't allow anybody to cheat her. She didn't give my elder sister breathing space at all as she kept punching her until our big sis fell to the ground. I watched a real season movie that day and laughed. I couldn't separate the fight, who am I? Two giant people are fighting, and a snail person like me wants to stop them. Lol
But those moments are memories and when we remember them, we would laugh.
Every day, I am always grateful to God for such a priceless gift given to the family because my sister is a merciful child who would always give to people when they ask. She never complains and also she knows how to serve God as she was brought up to know about God.
With my sister´s help, I was able to further my degree studies and graduate. I never lacked anything in school because she was ready to give me when I ask from her. Though things became tough for me during my academic years, thank God I met opportunities that changed my life today.
Big sis, as I used to call her has been a blessing from God and I keep praying for the best for her. No sister like her and I am so proud of who she is and for having her in my life.
Thanks for reading. I didn't want to add her pictures as I already did twice I think on this platform.
*Image by* *Cottonbro* *on pexels* https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-person-hugging-photograph-3171465/
[May 22, 2022] (No 142 articles for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/isnt-this-an-emotional-blackmailing-6cf63ee8#may-21-2022-no-141-articles-for-the-year
Isn't this an emotional blackmailing?
*“The emotional blackmailer may go out of their way to do things for you, even if it goes against their self-interest…they’ll bring it up over-and-over again, frequently reminding you what they’ve sacrificed to make you happy.”*
– Amica Graber https://relationshipsmdd.com/emotional-blackmail-quotes/
I have always heard of people blackmailing another and threatening to disclose whatever secret between them, except they are given demand and this is happening everywhere but I have never heard of **"Emotional Blackmail"** until I went to search for the meaning from my friend (Google) and paraphrased into my own way of understanding it.
*Emotional Blackmail is like someone trying to manipulate you, thereby using your feelings as a way of controlling your behaviour and making you see things in their own way.*
Let's take two lovers for an example; the lady needs to get to somewhere very important but her man tries to stop her, threatening that if she leaves when he needs her, that is the end or someone else might replace her. If she is truly in love and does not want to lose her relationship, she stays and loses what she needed to go and do. This might be an opportunity but the guy isn't seeing it that way, he only insisted on her seeing things in his own way, that is to stay with him.
I heard this word when I read a touching story of a young guy who was emotionally blackmailed. I feel for him though and I don't know what might happen since the incident happened some days ago. He is trying to get advice from people and checking through the comment section, I saw people pitying him and telling him what to do. Of course, he has to take a big decision at the moment so he doesn't get to regret it later.
Let me try to summarize the story so you can understand how emotional blackmailing works on the victim. I would be using a random name here.
Adam was a little boy without a father. His mother had been the one taking care of him and they lived in a compound house. Each household had a man in it, who would control the house's affairs, but it was him and his mother alone. He wanted a man in the house too, especially when he got to school and his classmates would always say *"my father bought this, my father did that"* and when it got to his turn, he would say *"my mother bought this".* His classmates mocked him and asked where his father was, is it only your mother that does things for you?
Adam was sad and went home with questions about his father from his mother. The mother said his father travelled and when he returns, he will see him. Tell your friends that your Dad travelled and the case was closed there.
When he reached the age of ten to twelve years, he still kept asking his father but the reply he got from his mother was *"I don't know where your father is. He travelled and never came back".* The mother now threatens that if he asks his father again, she would kick him out of the house to go look for his father and he will never come back to her again.
Adam had to stop asking about his father because he was threatened and they continued living their lives. When he was sixteen years old, he and his mother travelled to their hometown and when he was left with his mother's elder sister, he whispered into her ears asking *"Do you know where my father is?"* The woman nodded her head in a positive way. Adam begged her to take him there since he lives around town. She promised to, but on a condition not to tell his mom.
The next day, his aunt took him there and showed him his father who owns a shop. He wanted her to take him there but she refused, saying it wasn't in her position to do that. They went home but as Adam looked back staring at his Dad, he saw an inscription at his father's shop written as **"Adofo asa"** which translated as *"There are no more lovers".*
He got home and wrote the inscription behind his books and didn't reveal anything to his mom but he was happy his father was still alive. When he got to high school and in a boarding school, he secretly left school and travelled to his hometown to meet his father. When he got there, the man recognized him immediately and asked who brought him? He said his aunt showed him this place. The father took him to his home where he met three children. One was older than him while the second boy (Daniel) was his age, and the third is a girl. He slept over and the next day, his father took him to the train station and gave him money to go back home.
Adam was happy. He felt his Dad's hand and his curiosity left him since he saw and held his father. He never felt any inadequacy again but he kept it to himself. However, he had bonded with Daniel already but lost contact. During those times, he would always ask Daniel about his Dad and they kept chatting until they never communicated again.
Eleven years later (Adam should be twenty-seven years now) he got a message on his Facebook messenger from Daniel, with a number for him to call him immediately after he got the message. Adam called Daniel immediately and he told him of his Dad's sickness. Daniel told him there was no possibility he would survive it because he had a stroke and his left side is deteriorating. Daniel told him how the father wanted to see him before he died as he insisted on seeing him to explain some things to him.
He felt unhappy and was confused about what to do. He remembered his mother's threat years ago and he decided to go meet and explain to her first. When he got home, he explained how he met his father but not about the sickness. The mother said he knew he had gone to meet his father and she was angry ever since then.
Adam was shocked and asked if it was her sister who told her, and she said no. She knew through the inscription written on his books and that was the father's nickname. Then the next thing his mother said and I quote was ***"The day you make peace with that man, it's over between us. You cease to be my son. I won't tell you my reasons now."***
Seriously, Adam is in a confused state and doesn't know what to do. Many commenters were of the opinion that he should go and see the man since he is already grown up and if possible, he should go secretly to hear what the man would say before he dies. Adam's mother was blackmailing her own son emotionally and this is affecting him. I don't want to know the reason behind it but they shouldn't bring an innocent child into this.
As for me, I would advise Adam to go see his father behind his mother's back since she is not ready to give him reasons why he shouldn't see his own father.
What could have transpired between the mother and husband to make the child suffer right from childhood without a father figure in his life? An innocent child shouldn't experience this.
If you were to advise Adam, what would you say? Do you advise him to also see his father or listen to his mom who isn't ready to give her reasons? Is it until he dies?
The truth is Adam is now old enough to see things himself. He should be able to address this issue between them. Perhaps forcing his mom to open up while he goes to listen to his Dad's side of the story. If the man dies, Adam might regret it all his life. What if his mother was the cause of the separation?
Perhaps the mother was betrayed. Adam's father already had a wife according to the story because the first child of the first wife was older than Adam while the second child was his age. Maybe she was pregnant at the time she knew her husband lied? No one can ever know the secret behind this issue.
I still don't want to know what happened between them but the woman shouldn't deprive Adam of not seeing his father.
Let's hear from you guys. Though our interactions wouldn't do anything, we are learning from each other and I am ready to make this an interactive session.
I hope the man doesn't die before Adam shows up because it's a true-life story.
Thanks for reading
*Image by* *Thirteen* *on Unsplash* https://unsplash.com/photos/RcgehtlMplQ
[May 21, 2022] (No 141 articles for the year)
Engagement is my priority on any blogging platform
*"Have you seen how it works? The power of engagement. Try it anywhere and see the results it brings".*
Princessbusayo
Engagement is very important on any blogging platform if you want to succeed and grow. You can't just expect to see a huge amount of money the next day without your input. Your input will reward you, but if you think you just post and dump your content on the platform, waiting to return to see people commenting or enjoying your content, it's a big lie.
You have to do your part before you gain. Have you seen an employee not working and expecting to get paid at the end of the month? Who would even give him a job?
This is a response from someone I commented on his post a few days ago and I was happy because someone recognizes my work and how I have enjoyed engaging.
When I engage, I don't go against the post. I love to read carefully so I can have one or two things to add relating to the content and if I don't understand, I simply move with a thumb up, indicating it's good content.
Reading five articles and leaving wonderful comments the whole day is better than reading twenty articles with meaningless comments. All in the name of what? To earn? To attract followers? To bring them to my posts?
If you work hard, people will notice you. If you leave beautiful comments, they will come to you. It is not possible to see your great contribution to my posts and not reciprocate. That is how it works
How have you enjoyed engaging with others' content?
For me, I believe engagement is the key and nothing more. Engagement brings followers to you. Engagement makes people come over to you to read what you have. Engagement will grow your account. If I don't write any content but engage in others' posts, I am okay. I have always enjoyed engagement and I have seen its work and effectiveness everywhere.
On Hive, you cannot grow without engagement. Many people still do not understand how it works especially the newbies. They want to dump and leave, expecting a great whale to tip them when they haven't done anything. To build your account on Hive, you need to visit other people. Drop a beautiful comment (a comment doesn't have to be long to be of quality, sometimes, it depends on what you have got to drop relating to the article). When you do this, you are on your way to earning friends and visiting you.
How has engagement helped you?
It has helped me a lot. Many times when I read people's posts, I have something to say relating to my experience. I sometimes pick some words from engaging on their posts. I get inspired and would have an idea to talk about in my next post. Through engagement, I have been able to learn some things I don't know about. The engagement has earned me lots of followers and made people come over to see what I have got to offer. Through engagement, I don't need to beg for people to comment, it's like a magnet. Come to me, I come to yours.
Do you get tired of engaging in a day?
No, I prefer to read a few articles and engage more except if I get tired along the way and I take some rest. I am active on two blogging platforms and I love to give my time to them so I can learn from people, contribute and give my feedback and I am always growing through that. So, I don't get tired of engaging because it's already part of me and I enjoy doing it every day.
Okay guys, let me stop here. I just decided to answer some questions about engagement and I formed the questions myself. I wasn't able to do much on Readcash and Hive yesterday as I was drained out since the beginning of the day and by the time it was past 7pm, I couldn't do anything. For me not to get sad about not doing anything, I tried to visit a few articles and I slept off.
Since the day I decided to visit my Aunt, I knew my engagement and activeness would reduce.
***Do you know your decision would somehow affect you either positively or negatively? So, decide carefully and don't jump to conclusions.***
Since I came with my Aunt to her place on Monday, I haven't been active much online. My Aunt knows how to drain someone till you are weak to do anything.
Many times when I opened many browsers to start visiting articles, she would just call me either to bring this, do this, fetch water for me, help me buy this, etc and I won't even concentrate on what I am doing.
I had to weigh the difference from when I was in the village and I regretted ever opening my mouth to inform her of my visit. A decision I made. Hahahaha
No one wants to come to visit my Aunt because of her attitude and behaviour, but would we abandon her? She is the only one living and almost in her 60s. We need to be there for her now that she is ageing but no one wants to come.
Sometimes I would be the one begging my brother to always visit her whenever he is on holiday but he is refusing. He is in the village due to the ASUU STRIKE. He prefers staying in the village than coming to her place without resting until in the night when everyone had eaten and it was time to sleep.
By the time it's 7pm, I would be dozing and would then sleep off, waking up with pains in my body as if I overworked myself in the dream. Still having back pain at the moment. I can´t remember the last time I had such pain.
The next day, we are up again with go here, go there, bring this, and I would be hurting myself going up and down and when it's night, the circle continues.
I ran to meet Ola as if he would come and drag me away from here 😅 what will he do or say than to add more salt to my injury or pacify me. 🙃
Thanks for reading.
Image by Epicantus on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/_XR5rkprHQU
[May 20, 2022] (No 140 articles for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-v-finale-00c35b4b#may-19-2022-no-139-article-for-the-year
How to improve ourselves? (V) Finale
*"When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated"*
Brené Brown https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/20-inspirational-quotes-on-boundaries/
Wow! It's the end of the series and it feels like I should continue with it, but I would love to end it here with another interesting part of the topic above. I would like to thank you guys again for your beautiful comments which I enjoyed replying to. Thank you so much for your support since the beginning of the series and it's coming to an end today. I might start another one but that would be later though as I might want to give a little break. I believe we have learned a lot too?
If you miss the first three parts, don't worry, I got you covered 😊
How to improve ourselves? https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-f48381aa
How to improve ourselves? (II) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-ii-42dacd0e
How to improve ourselves? (III) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-iii-51e930ca
How to improve ourselves? (IV) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-iv-d68d0386
*For today's segment, it would be;*
Set your own rules and boundaries. Don't let anyone break them.
What are boundaries? They are lines you set that mark the limit of something.
I read @MichaelBCH article about setting boundaries in relationships yesterday. I knew this was what I would be writing on too and I had to read to learn more. You can just visit his link to read since I would only take some points he said there. It would be worth your time reading. https://read.cash/@MichaelBCH/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships-4ff5de09#comment-6f4bca36
*Part of what Michael said was that healthy boundaries should be communicated in a way that others will respect them and not doing it in a rude manner*
This means there is an unhealthy boundary which could lead to misunderstanding and turn into a fight because you refused to approach the manner calmly.
I understand that some people can be so mean to pass their boundaries, making you want to vent all your anger on them but don't you think you can do it peacefully?
We all have our rules and boundaries and not making people know would give them a chance to step on you anyhow and even take advantage of you because you refused to speak up to refuse what they keep bringing to you.
There should be a limit to what people do to you and you must let them know because they would feel you enjoy it, your emotion is involved which could negatively affect you.
I remember when we were children, I know many of us would have experienced this too. Do you know children also know what boundaries are?
During that time, when two people want to fight, a third party would mark two straight lines between us, each one of us would own a line and the next thing would be ***"If you are born well, cross my line"*** The third party, of course, is a devil between us 😄
Then with such a brave mind and knowing our strength to beat the other, one would cross the other person's line and a fight would ensue with no one separating us until an adult intervenes. It was fun then.
We understood that when one crosses their boundaries over us, they are calling for fights which would be given to them without wasting time. We never dull ourselves because we were always competing on who can fight very well.
We are grown up now and we shouldn't be seen acting like little children because we know right from wrong already and there is a way we can approach people without offending them.
Someone came into your room with slippers on and one of your rules is that no slippers should enter your room except if they put them off outside. What will you do? At first, you may take your eyes off it but would let the person know this politely is your rule and it is left for the person to heed it or not.
I love setting boundaries, especially when they do things that don't please or satisfy me. I don't like being taken for granted because I refuse to set limits to some unnecessary stuff. This is why I would let you know what I want and what I don't want. Boundaries require you to say **"No"** and not keep silent when they are tampering with your emotions. People would easily take your silence to mean "Yes" until you voice out to reject some things.
Let me make another example. You know ladies love to do something to themselves. When they are together, they would play to the extent that they start to play with each other's twins on their chests (I believe you understand me here?) My friends would always do this to me every time we played and I couldn't do mine because they weren't allowing me.
This continued until they took me for granted and would keep touching it while I laughed. This means I was allowing them instead of setting limits to such rough play. The next time they would do it, I spoke out for the first time and from that day, it stopped.
Another friend in my hostel wanted to try it, so I immediately stopped her and told her I don't play such games. At least if it is a man doing that, I would gladly accept 😅😅 There wouldn't be a limit when it comes to the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean I would allow dogs and cats to try it. No, it's for my man only and with that, there is no boundary or limit.
It's important to set your rules and boundaries. What do you want to stop? Let people know immediately instead of allowing it until it becomes something they keep doing because you refused to speak out.
Set limits to things you don't like people doing to you. Let them know politely. With this, you're giving yourself some respect and they should give you that too. Don't keep mute when you notice something is affecting you, say it out, kindly approach them and let them know this is your rule and no one should violate it. Your rule is like your principle.
I have my principle, you have yours. We should respect each other and not cause misunderstanding when they are trying to stop us from crossing that line. Stay in your lane and do not inconvenience another person with your nonchalant attitude.
When it comes to setting boundaries or rules, you are giving your emotions some importance. As partners in a relationship, you should have your limit to things and let your spouse know about them. Don't let them take you for granted and see you as someone who can't defend himself or herself.
I set boundaries for my friends, and siblings and they wouldn't dare crossover because they have been told. Any violation of it might affect my emotions and I wouldn't like it.
You can play, and have fun together but don't forget you are to be respected and with this, let people be aware of things they can or should do to you and not do.
**The End!!!**
Thanks for reading
*Image by* *Priscilla* *on Unsplash designed on Canva* https://unsplash.com/photos/8u9Kz4yZLgg
[May 19, 2022] (No 139 article for the year)
How to improve ourselves? (IV)
*“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”*
Lao Tzu https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/35-quotes-how-care-less-about-what-others-think.html
I am enjoying this series because it gives me room to do my best and also be happy I am getting better too. After all, I have got you to come around to learn something from it too. We are all learning and I can't say I am 100% perfect.
Did you miss the first three parts? Don't worry, I got 'em all for you. Just click and enjoy reading. 😉
How to improve ourselves? https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-f48381aa
How to improve ourselves? (II) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-ii-42dacd0e
How to improve ourselves? (III) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-iii-51e930ca
*So, for today's segment, it would be;*
Stop worrying about what people will say
*"What will they say?" "What will they see in me?" "I don't want people to start saying bad things to me" "I must endure, people will talk" and the list goes on like that.*
These words have sent many to the grave today and they (people) gladly move on. That is life for you.
If you live your life on what people will say, it means you aren't in control of your life. Having seen much physical and emotional abuse in different homes and how they keep quiet because they are afraid people will call them names, they will blame them, they have been badly beaten and gave up, all in the name of enduring so much pain when you can leave quietly not minding what people will say.
***Do you know what?***
*When you disappear today, the world will go on perfectly fine without you.*
Yes, that is the end when they have finally pushed you and you don't have power on your own again. It's such a pity many of us have allowed the thought "what will people say" to get into us and we don't seem to understand that our emotions matter and are important. Stop hurting yourself when you can just freely leave to move on with your life.
The case of many abuses in marriages has made people feel powerless and can't take action, because their friends and the public would talk to them. Why not leave and ignore them? Life is more important than enduring pains that could lead to death in the end.
You are living with a monster and he keeps beating you, and you don't seem to walk away because you are afraid people will tag you with names and blame all on you? It is not their business, but yours. It is not their life but yours. If they don't value their lives, you should. There is a big chance for you when you walk out with your child(ren)*(that is if you have one)*. There is nothing bad in being a single parent, as long as you are focused and have something to do.
Life is precious, so you should value it, rather than being subjected to any kind of abuse till you are beaten into a stupor. Will you then realize all your steps when you are dead? People will only mourn you for a few days and they are the people who would still blame you. "Why didn't you leave when things like this are happening? You should value your life, blablabla"
People will always be people. If you put on a nice dress, they say you are too proud or pompous. If you put on simple clothes, they say you are poor. If you add weight, they will say you are eating too much. If you lose weight, they will say you aren't eating well. 😅😅😅
For God's sake, why are people this way? They can never agree with you and instead of hearing you out, they immediately conclude.
You should know what pleases you. You should do what makes you happy and stop worrying about people. You are your person and no one should come and dictate for you.
I prepared a meal some time ago, and this lady came around and was like "you shouldn't have done it this way. It won't be sweet. There is a different method I use" I smiled and told her "it's my way and I can't copy others".
Why would you want me to follow your way of doing things when I have my style of getting it done? I don't care, as long as I have tried my way and it's my business.
Many would want you to do things in their way and before you know it, they have removed their hands, leaving you to keep circling without knowing what to do. You become confused but they aren't there to guide you anymore.
Human beings are like chameleons. They change with a colour today and another colour the next day. They feel for you today but would turn their backs on you tomorrow.
*Why not do your thing, follow your heart and stop listening to what people will say.*
You made a decision yourself, you find out it isn't your way again. What do you do? Wouldn't you stop and try another way? But you have allowed the mentality of "what will he or she say later" to get into you. They didn't plan for you but they are ready to poke nose until they destroy your life and they move on with theirs.
Funny enough, many people won't want others to control them but they would love to take full control over you. Some are only being nice because of what they want to get from you, and once they successfully get it, that's the end.
Just like the article @Olasquare wrote six days ago titled "Facade" https://read.cash/@Olasquare/facade-73f1b4ad
He talked about a lady (Linda) who messed things up just because of a friend's suggestion. The friend was a single lady sending erotic texts to her husband just to find proof to show Linda to make her believe he was cheating on her. Meanwhile, the husband wasn't but when Linda came to her senses through another friend who stayed in her marriage despite knowing the husband was cheating, she went back to apologize.
The single lady just wanted her to leave the marriage, perhaps would try to take over if the husband had fallen into the trap.
Many are like Linda who would believe what their friends say all in the name of "she is my friend. She wants the best for me" then you ruin your relationship with a good person and before you know it, they have taken over once you leave.
Stop worrying or listening to what people will say. Do your thing and understand that you have your decision to make even though you seek advice.
Just like a counsellor, he will never impose on you what to do exactly, but would gladly leave many options behind for you to think over and choose. Seek advice but know your stand and take your decision after weighing all options if they are good or not.
Don't kill yourself because if you die or leave, people will continue living.
*To be continued…*
Thanks for reading
@gertu13 thank you ma for renewing your sponsorship. God bless you always.
*Image by* *Molnar* *on Unsplash designed on Canva* https://unsplash.com/photos/NW61v3xF0-0
[May 18, 2022] (No 138 article for the year)
How to improve ourselves? (III)
*"To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals".*
Michael Bassey Johnson https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/negative-people
*I left my hometown for another state yesterday and it was a stressful journey for me. I wasn't able to visit articles, only a few. I will try my best today God willingly.*
For two days now, I have started a series on how to improve ourselves and I am so grateful for all your comments. It is because of you guys, I am getting better and trying to work on my writing too because I wouldn't want to give out a meaningless article but something we all would learn from.
If you missed the first two parts of the series, you can just click the links. I promise, they are worth reading and you will enjoy them.
How to improve ourselves? https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-f48381aa
How to improve ourselves? (II) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-ii-42dacd0e
*So for today's segment, it would be;*
Make yourself your best friend and stay away from negative people.
What makes you happy and inspired? Is it not the positive thoughts you fill your mind with? Is it not the beautiful things and compliments you keep hearing every day? Positive words lift your soul while negative ones bring you down. There wouldn't be inspiration when all you have occupied your mind with is negative words and being around shallow minded people.
You are a writer and you need someone to check what you write and the only thing you hear is that "you write woefully" how would you feel? Even though you know you made your research well and did your best. Just like the story I gave yesterday, the painter could have just listened to his heart which I would call ***"his best friend"*** rather than listening to the opinions of people who went about spoiling his creativity and couldn't help. These are, of course, negative people standing in your way.
Your heart should be your best friend because it will not disappoint you only if you do not want it to. Your heart may be saying something but because you are doubting your ability, you went ahead to seek people's validation and being the negative ones, they pull you down with bad words and make you see yourself as nothing.
Two hours spent with a toxic or negative individual might be worse than thirty minutes listening to your favourite programs. Why is this so? You will gain and learn a lot from the program than wasting your precious two hours listening to the irrelevant talk.
Mind you, negative people find their ways sugarcoating words to you and making you feel like you are enjoying it but they are trying to weigh you down and see you as someone who isn't time conscious on important things.
You are your own best friend. No one would be willing to help you or speak positive words to you except for those who truly care just like I said yesterday.
Negative people are toxic ones who do not have any other business but to utter words of doubt, and pain and make you hurt yourself.
I know there are negative people around me but many times, I go to them just to hear them. This will in a way help me know the true ones who want the best for me. I believe many of us do this sometimes. You already know within you that you did the best work but you just want to hear from other people to see where you'd class or rank them.
To try something, write number six and show it to someone upside down, you know it is six you have written but you just want to play along to know if they aren't trying to stop you. They will insist it is not six and try finding ways to justify their claims and in the end, would make you want to change your mind to believe it is not what you wrote.
You see, people are ready to justify their claims with negativity thereby making you feel bad and unsure about yourself.
In this case, the only person you should listen to is your heart - *your best friend*.
Even the person you call your best friend would try to say otherwise leaving you to be confused if what you are trying to do is right or wrong. This is in no way ignoring the fact that you should seek advice because we all need it but when your heart is making you see it as if it's the right thing which they are making wrong for you, ignore them and follow your heart.
***How do you stay away from negative people?***
Remember they are also toxic people and if you aren't quick to disengage from them, they will successfully finish their aims on you.
Make time for your best friend and guard it. Stop wasting your time unnecessarily when you have a lot to do. They give excuses and reasons why you should stay when you know what you have on your desk. You should know when to have fun from working on a deadline.
Choose your attitude. The best way to ruin your mood is to allow negative people in your life. When you give room for these kinds of people, pessimistic ones to dictate your emotions, they would have full power over you. Learn to change your attitude by spending time more on people you know would make your day productive and ignore the bad egg in your basket.
Refocus your thoughts. When you keep thinking, dreading, and fretting about what other people would say concerning your work, it will spoil your moment and make it an unproductive one for you, instead redirect your focus to positive thoughts by believing in what you can offer and how you can monopolize your time.
*To be continued...*
Thanks for reading
*Image by* *Ben White* *on Unsplash designed on Canva* https://unsplash.com/photos/7SRymDKKDus
[May 17, 2022] (No 137 article for the year)
How to improve ourselves? (II)
*“I think I’m better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence.”*
**Cassandra Clare** https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-importance
I started a series yesterday about how to improve ourselves and funny enough, this would continue for some days until I complete it all because I wouldn't want to write a whole journal since it will definitely bore you even if you find it interesting. Lol
I started with keeping your personal information to yourself and only saying the necessary things. You can find the post here; How to improve ourselves? https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-f48381aa
I don't want to go into summarizing again since you can just click the link to read it if you haven't read it.
*So the second segment would be;*
Stop trying to please everyone. Give importance to yourself.
We all deserve the best in life and we don't want to be controlled by anyone. We all know that in this life, you can never please everyone because their opinions about you would definitely bring you down and make you think you aren't perfect or good at what you do. People want to know everything about you. They are happy pushing you to the front, to the back and taking a lead in your life and if you are not careful, you become an idiot who can't take charge of his or her life.
*****How do we give importance to ourselves?*****
Be honest with yourself, your opinions about yourself and your work in general. Don't make people think you aren't good with what you do. Don't let them see you as a coward but take your work so dearly without anyone's criticism. You need to be honest with yourself and not let people's opinions dictate your life.
Learn to love yourself. If you do not learn to love yourself, no one will love you. There is great importance in seeing yourself as the best and appreciating the person you have become. The way you see or place yourself, people will place you. If you think you aren't good enough, they will see you like that. If you think you have nothing to offer, then be ready for them to see you that way. You must value yourself because you are special and of worth.
Take care of yourself and treat yourself. No matter how little your income is, try to take care of yourself, take yourself out for fun and do not let people take advantage of you. When you take care of yourself and dress nicely, no one will disvalue you. You are very important to yourself and you should treat yourself like an angel.
Believe in yourself. The best achievement in life is to believe in yourself because when you do, no one will take you to be weak.
According to Roy T. Bennett, he said and I quote ***"Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself".***
You can never identify your potential if you place people to give you opinions about you. Going to meet them every time would make you depressed except for those who truly see greatness in you and want you to succeed. You will only limit yourself when you put others to validate you. Stop waiting for them, but believe in yourself that you have enough potential and you should be ready to unleash them and see how fulfilled you are.
Whatever you do, do it with confidence because that is a way to give yourself importance. Some may term your self-importance as **ego** and they may feel like talking behind you. If you then think you are losing them and because of that, you try bringing yourself to them, trying to please them and make them order your life, that is the end. You will continue to be subjected under their lead and from there, you lose your confidence and ruin your potential. Stay away from those who do not see value in you but want to keep giving wrong and negative opinions, trying to make you lose focus and stop being creative.
**Let me end with a story I read online which relates to this article**
*A man named Tagore had a disciple who was very good at painting. However, he was worried about what people thought about him and his work and their opinions on his work. He went to meet his master to complain, and many times, Tagore would tell him to listen to his heart and never believe what people say about his work. Still, he was worried and this hindered his creativity.*
*One day, he made a portrait of his master and showed him. His master was pleased and complimented him. He was still not satisfied and told his master he needs people's opinions and thoughts on his work. Tagore assured him that his work was perfect. When he insisted on getting their opinions, Tagore allowed him and thought it was an opportunity to impart a lesson.*
*He told his disciple to take the portrait and the original, with a set of pencils and a note asking for people's opinion and then take it to the market square and drop it there till evening, then he should bring it back home.*
*He got home obviously upset and downcast. He said to his master "but you told me it was perfect. See what people did. They brought out many mistakes"*
*Tagore heaved a sigh and asked him what he wrote on the note. He said* ***"Please compare this portrait with the original and mark wherever you see a mistake"***
*He told him he would have to take it back again and this time around, he would write on the note* ***"Please compare this portrait with the original and correct any anomalies"*** *by erasing the black spots they painted on the portrait.*
*He was surprised not to see anything written on it despite being the same sketching as the first experiment.*
People are good at criticizing your work but are not ready to correct things for you. They wouldn't want to see your progress. You need to believe in what you do, only by then would you scale through because there wouldn't be any limitations to your success or breakthrough.
I hope you enjoyed my article.
***To be continued...***
Thanks for reading
*Image by* *Olia* *on Unsplash, designed on Canva* https://unsplash.com/photos/3TQ8I-sR9a8
[May 16, 2022] (No 136 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/how-to-improve-ourselves-f48381aa#may-15-2022-no-135-article-for-the-year
How to improve ourselves?
*"Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid".*
Bernard Meltzer https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/bernard_meltzer_157511?src=t_yourself
When we talk about improvement, what comes to your mind? Perfection? Looking great? Adding more value to yourself? Changing your lens to a better perspective? Every human being wants a change and this can't be done while sitting on a spot and expecting an awesome change for yourself. Change is constant and everyone keeps changing from old ways into a new ones and we call this an improvement.
If you want to improve your writing skills, you go through those who have experience and are professional to help guide you so you can also be better.
You want to improve your cooking and you need more styles and recipes to make your technique amazing, you go online to see how experts are making different meals every day and when you decide to try yours, even though you keep failing and making mistakes, we are told to keep practising again until we are comfortable of doing the best.
***Improvement is all about practising until it is better and you are comfortable with it.***
Let's take a look at some ways to improve ourselves, especially becoming the better person we want to be because no one wants to remain stuck but to bring peace to themselves.
**Stop discussing your personal life with every second person.**
You have every right to your privacy and no one should infringe in it except you allow it. Having the right to your privacy is an ability to determine when, how and for what purpose you want your personal information to be handled by others.
***Privacy is everything, tell them what is necessary.***
The truth is that there are things you should keep to yourself instead of telling others and putting your life in their hands because when the time comes, the person you believe to have trusted will use it against you. No one can ever keep your secret even if you tell them not to. Our mouths are wired to speak anytime depending on the situation on ground and when words come out of your mouth, it is like an egg that when broken can never be packed up again.
A tip to protect your privacy is to limit the personal information about your life that you share with other people, and keeping them to yourself will make you have peace with no one standing against you.
Your personal information is different from a secret. The difference is that your secret might include those past mistakes you have done and making people know could be dangerous especially in the future while your personal information might be things you intend to do to be successful and it is not everything people would know about you. Make them know the ones that are necessary perhaps which may also help them too.
Though we expose our secret to make the other person learn from it which is better, and when it is being shared with the wrong people, they would take it up against you someday which may then delay your progress. It is not everyone that needs to know things about you. At least your family is there to know more about you than trusting an outsider who would go around talking behind you.
The only time a secret is shared to learn from them is when the other person is trying to go in the way you already went and not wanting them to make such mistakes, you guide them through your experience and how you were able to overcome and become who you are.
But when your information goes into the wrong hand, it degrades your personality which makes you look stupid for ever revealing yourself to them. Keep your personal information to yourself and if you must think of talking to someone, make sure you have studied and perceived such a person and if you are still unquestionable about the person, then talk to your siblings or someone in your family. Your family will protect you no matter what happens.
I remembered when I got an admission and I was sharing a room with my friend. We both processed the admission together. I had a break up in my relationship and I thought she was someone I could talk to since I have known her while studying at the college of education. I opened up to her about the breakup and how we had fun together. This lady went to share it with her school father and the next day, the guy called me wanting to speak with me.
He started encouraging me about the situation in my relationship. He said his spirit told him of what I was passing through and wanted to advise me. Immediately, I knew she had gone to tell him everything. I was weakened but decided not to say anything or confront her, but from that day onward, I stopped sharing things about myself with her.
There are information about you that would help you get to where you wish to be, but opening up to them and letting them know of your plans would make them do things at your back and ruin everything for you.
You don't know who is happy or sad about your achievement and sharing things with them means you are placing your life in their hands to take control of it and they would happily shake you from right to left until you are nothing.
***To be continued…..***
Thanks for reading
`Image designed on Canva`
[May 15, 2022] (No 135 article for the year)
Parasocial Relationship
*“Maybe we're all just broken inside. Unable to really grasp the difference between fictional people and people we just don't know. They're all just abstract ideas we're happy to have suffer for our enjoyment.”*
― Jonathan Sims https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/parasocial-relationships
*I feel a sense of love from you guys yesterday who took out time to wish me when I complained of having a slight illness. When I try to observe the cause yesterday, apart from the issue of cold water and continuous eating of mango, I found out that lack of electricity, heat and other factors caused such a strange occurrence because when I decide to sit under the cashew tree, I became active and energized that I had to spend more than an hour on Hive and promising myself to return back to Readcash later in the day which I did. Light didn't come, but I gave my brother some money to fuel the generator in the evening and I was in charge for three hours while grandma didn't say anything. If she was the one who bought the fuel, it won´t exceed thirty minutes before she starts shouting at us to put it off because she is wasting money according to her 😂*
One of the topics I had in mind which I also made researched on is called **“Parasocial Relationships”.** Perhaps you would have heard of it before, but if you haven't, sit back while you read through it because we are about to learn something again. I saw this topic being discussed on the Quora Platform and it interest me which made me research more on it because I wasn't understanding much through the short discussion they had.
**WHAT IS A PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP?** I remember when I was growing up, I love watching movies so much especially Yoruba movies and I detest English movies because I thought I should be proud of my language and honour them too. There are many actors and actresses I admire so much. Then, if you ask me to mention 100 Yoruba actors and actresses, even if I am sleeping, I will slowly mention them to you. That is how much I love their movies then, but now, hardly would I mention 10 because I lose interest in such movies especially since they are acting nonsense today.
I would crush on many actors and many times would imitate their roles in movies and many times slept thinking about them, yes, I have met many actors in my dream before and if I don´t see their movies, I won´t watch any. I developed an interest in some handsome actors and would always imagine we come across each other and they proposed to me. These people I crushed on do not know someone like me is having an interest in them. ***This is what we call parasocial relationships.***
It is a one-sided relationship where you as a person, extends your time and energy to them and the person you are having an interest in is unaware of your action toward them. They do not know you are crushing on them, but you alone know you are.
Many of us have different actors and actresses we think we are in a relationship within our imagination and you start crushing on them, but they aren´t aware of such a move from you. They are busy focusing on their career while you as a person are taking time watching their movies, having different imaginations about them.
Though there are many who are fans of them and would always love the roles they play either in movies, shows or sports, you just develop feelings for them because you admire their talents or actions.
**Are Parasocial Relationships healthy?** There are many people who have become obsessed with these people you see on TV or social media because they are good at what they do, or their physiques made you like or love them, but once you are obsessed with these kinds of people, it might be detrimental and become toxic to your mental health. Though this one-sided relationship can help reduce loneliness and fill the gap in social interaction, they are by no means as effective and healthy as real-life interaction with people.
Sometimes, you might be dealing with someone who may not even exist but because you come across them on TV or on shows and since you love what you are seeing about them, you start to create a feeling for such a person who has long been dead. Even when you know a vlogger or celebrity is dead, you still want to be a friend to him or her.
Sign that you are in a parasocial relationship is when you have feelings or connection with either a vlogger, tiktoker, YouTuber, music artist, actor or actress etc and you just want to keep seeing them in every movie or show you watch and once you see them, you develop this interest and feelings of excitement. I know we all are in this kind of relationship but do you know there are benefits to it?
Let´s take Elon musk as an example. We have heard a lot about him and how rich he is. How dedicated and determined he is to be successful, those who are in a parasocial relationship with him when he might not be aware may want to live such life he is living. They start to read more about him and how he became successful and then, you become determined to be successful like him too.
You developed an interest in being a singer and you found yourself listening to a particular artist and his or her styles of singing, you decide to emulate him or her because of the connection you have built in your mind for him or her. This relationship would make you learn how to sing and start to imitate him or her.
Parasocial relationships can provide a sense of belonging. Serves as motivation and inspiration to work on yourself to become who the person has become. So as an influencer, once you are inspired by someone you are connected with not physically, you tend to go in that line too.
Parasocial relationships are actually normal and they are proven to be healthy psychologically because when we see someone through audio or video, we choose to create a bond with them but it becomes harmful when we see them as idols which whom we are obsessed. There should be a limit to liking someone you only see online or hear their voices and want to create a mutual connection with them whereas, they do not know you.
Thanks for reading.
Image by Flow Clark on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/14eymLP8Prk
[May 14, 2022] (No 134 article for the year)
https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/topics-are-available-but-i-cant-type-3bbc3a93#may-13-2022-no-133-article-for-the-year
Topics are available but I can't type.
*“You have good days, you have bad days. But the main thing is to grow mentally.”*
-Floyd Mayweather Jr. https://www.semidelicatebalance.com/quotes-about-bad-days/
I have some drafted topics already but I am not in the mood to form words on them. I have been noticing some changes in me and it's almost like getting sick, but I am trying to manage and be strong since last week.
My Cousin returned from somewhere last week and brought a lot of Mangoes into the house and we all were consuming it as if there wasn't any food in the house. Too much of something kills, isn't it? I went beyond the normal mango I should have taken that day because it was sweet.
Before that time, since I have been in the village, it has been cold water I have been drinking and I know how dangerous it is to keep drinking cold or ice water because it has its effect too. I didn't notice and it was when I drank the Mango in excess, I discovered something is happening to me. I was weak that day and I forced myself to engage online.
The next day, I was told it was the Ice water that caused it and immediately I stopped drinking it. Everyone in the house takes cold water and nothing happened, why me? Perhaps the mango added to the little sickness. It was as if I wanted to vomit and my mouth was bitter. I couldn't eat much and I was praying I should not be sick.
I saw the changes again when I stopped both Mango and Coldwater and everything went back to normal.
The same thing happened yesterday and I couldn't point to its cause. I woke up just like every normal day and went for morning devotion. I didn't have much to do then as I wrote my post for Readcash the night before and I was happy things went that way.
I only visited Hive and commented on five posts from the EcoTrain community and I wasn't in the mood to do anything. I kind of forced myself to record a song to be posted on Hive.
My brother came to me so they could watch a movie on my phone. We watched an Indian movie on Netflix together and it was there I was feeling dizzy. I forced myself to watch the two hours movie and after then, I went to sleep for two hours.
Waking up, I couldn't do anything. I knew something was about to happen to me but I was praying to God not to allow any sickness in me.
Thank God for my siblings, they prepared dinner while I ate Beans and Yam at 6 pm. I went back to sleep again as I ignored many activities online. I wasn't just in the mood at all.
At 8 pm, I took a shower and I saw the energy had returned and I can do something. I only visited 24 articles on Readcash when the feelings were abnormal again. I slept off thinking the next day would be better.
I woke up this morning and there were no changes at all. We prayed and instead of going into my room, I slept on the cushion in the parlour for an hour again. I begged my sister to prepare bitter leaves for me so I can drink the water. At least it works for all kinds of illnesses.
Immediately I drank the bitter leaf juice, I slept back again and when food was ready, I was served and I decided to make a post now.
I wasn't able to write on any topics I had on ground and decided to make a rant about how the days have been for me and I hope to be active again. Perhaps later today, I should go sit under the tree if I would have the strength to do something.
I recommended a movie to Olasquare. It's an interesting movie about physical abuse. It's titled **"Enough"**. It's a movie about a lady who was bet on and after marriage and a child, she started to see the worst side of her husband. She did try to escape from him but it seems the husband has connections everywhere which made it easy for him to locate her wherever she runs to. The guy was determined to marry her and he achieved his aim with a bet of $200 on her.
Did she escape? Did she give up her life in the fight? How did she fight with her only daughter? What happened in the end? All these questions would be answered once you watch the movie.
Thanks for reading
Image by Kinga on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/kqDEH7M2tGk
[May 13, 2022] (No 133 article for the year)
My walk to the catfish pepper soup joint
*"In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful".*
–Alice Walker https://parade.com/1034896/marynliles/nature-quotes/
*I wanted to make this post first on this platform today when I remembered yesterday was Wednesday and it would be best for a community on Hive called* ***"Wednesday Walk"*** *where you post about your walk on a Wednesday. It doesn´t matter when you took the walk, but when it is that day, you can post pictures taken during your lovely walk. Here is the* *link* *on Hive.* https://www.ecency.com/hive-155530/@princessbusayo/my-walk-to-the-catfish
I was supposed to leave the village for another city to go meet my Aunt on Tuesday which was two days ago. I have already spent a month and 12days today and I think I have tried enough, even though I still want to stay for a while since I am no more going to school, but my Aunt wants me to come over to her place too.
No doubt, my hometown is blessed with nature. This is the true definition of awesome and thrilling land full of beauty.
Starting from different houses surrounded by trees, flowers, plants, mountains, rocky areas, animals, lovely skies etc. This is one of the things that made my stay interesting even though it was boring for me. All through my stay was a dull and boring one. Locking myself indoors while the electricity cooperates with me. Many times I sit down under the tree in our compound and it has been amazing connecting with nature and has made me fall in love with sitting under trees.
I was complaining to my cousin on Sunday about how bad it is without entertainment or even having restaurants where I could just go and have fun. It was that bad in my hometown and the only place you can manage to visit to get local snacks, plus palm wine is very far where you would have to spend $1 to and fro.
I was shocked to hear that there is a place where they sell Catfish Pepper Soup and alcoholic drinks. I have all the time craved different things, especially Ice Cream but you can't find any here.
Since my Aunt had told me to wait a bit before coming to her place, I decided to visit where my cousin spoke about and I informed my Junior brother so we can both go together the next day which was on Monday.
Monday came and we started looking forward to 3 pm as I have scheduled and told my brother to be prepared so we would go on time and return before we start to cook for dinner. We are altogether seven in the house and it's not easy preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner using firewood. Grandma doesn't allow using of gas and so, preparing dinner takes time sometimes especially when we are just preparing a new soup. Most times, we would sneak to use the gas because once she knows, she won´t stop exaggerating her talks till the end of the day 😂
At 3 pm, we started the journey and we took permission from grandma and dad.
My love for Nature made me take many pictures while we were leaving for the Pepper Soup joint.
This is my brother who I snapped and he didn't want to feature at first but I already took the picture and we both laughed at how he acted not wanting to show his face.
While we were going, he suddenly remembered a friend who owned a motorcycle but he said he can't just ask for his motorcycle because since he arrived, he hasn't gone to greet him because the friend is like an Uncle to him and it would be unfair going to meet him for the first time and ask for his motorcycle but he decided to just greet him so we can continue our journey.
While he went to greet the Uncle, I was by the roadside continuing to take pictures.
The next thing I would see was my brother bringing out the motorcycle. I was so happy that we won't have to spend much money on the public cycle. I would only buy fuel to support the journey.
I have only heard and seen my brother riding a motorcycle but I never allowed him to carry me because I doubted his ability, besides, he didn't learn how to ride anywhere, he got to know how to ride a motorcycle through one of our Uncles who owned one some years ago.
But today, my brother would be carrying me on a motorcycle and I was so scared because the journey is very far and it was over 30 minutes to the place we were heading to.
I was doubting my brother but he told me not to worry and assured me that nothing would happen.
I sat down on the bike and prayed in my mind for nothing to happen. While riding, he started scaring me with his style as he was trying to prove to me that he is able to ride.
I was shouting and screaming *"Jesus, Jesus"* and begging him to take it easy and ride gently but this boy didn't answer me. He even stood up while riding while my heart was banging and I couldn't stop shouting and begging my brother but he was motivating me to face my fear 😅😅
I should face my fear while he knocks me down? 😂😂
After 30 minutes, we got to our location and the first thing we did was fuel the tank with an amount of $1.1 (#500)
Then, we reversed back to cash out some money from the POS and after that, we moved forward to the spot where they sell pepper soup.
I decided to treat everyone in the house to some catfish pepper soup which I bought seven plates for $6.4 (#3500).
Before leaving, I got a call from my Dad requesting I buy some Cooked Corn for him, not knowing I wanted to surprise them with catfish.
Leaving there, we moved to buy frozen fish which grandma sent me. She gave me some money while I added another $1.1 (#600) to make the fish much without her knowing. We bought other things and we left for where they were selling the corn as it was near to our junction.
It was another screaming and begging my brother to ride easy and consider his sister with him. We got to where they sell corn.
We were so lucky to get there on time because I bought six cooked corn that was the last one. We bought it for $1.1 (#500). Other people who came didn't meet any and I was happy. The boys selling were excited too because they would be closing immediately since they sold all.
When we got home and distributed everything to everyone, the catfish and cooked corn, my dad was so happy and surprised I bought such an amount of catfish and corn for everyone.
Grandma took a bite from the catfish and exclaimed it was sweet. She asked how much I bought everything, and she was surprised when I told her the amount.
Everyone was happy that day as they ate catfish perhaps for the first time because none of them hasn't tasted it before because of the price especially since they started living with grandma.
Grandma prayed for me which I was glad she did. At least I already spent a lot since I arrived and I made sure grandma ate something special before leaving. At least they would miss me for that.
Later that day, I took my corn and ate
Then, I took some yam and ate with the catfish
I was happy I spent some amount on everyone on Monday. At least they should benefit in a little way from my blogging, even before I leave the house.
Thanks for reading
`All images are mine`
[May 12, 2022] (No 132 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/which-do-i-prefer-96e8ea6d#may-06-2022-no-126-article-for-the-year
Maslow´s Hierarchy of Needs using Joe as a case study
*“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”*
― **Philip Pullman** https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/needs
One of the theories of psychology that I love the most is Maslow´s Hierarchy of Needs which was gotten from the theories of motivation of human beings. According to Abraham, one cannot understand the motivation behind why people do things they do or act without fully getting the full understanding of these needs. If you want to know why people are motivated to do things, like leaving a high paying job and settling for their passion that doesn't bring much money, why they choose to give a huge amount of money to someone or a charity organisation and spend a little on themselves, or why a close friend suddenly becomes moody and would lock themselves up. You have to understand these needs first.
These needs are classified into five stages and are called *“Pyramid”.* According to him, people are motivated through these five needs which are;
*Physiological Needs*
*Need for Safety and Security*
*Need for Love and Belongings*
*Need for Self-esteem*
*Need for Self Actualization*
Maslow said that physiological needs such as food, water, air, and shelter need to be satisfied first before moving to the next stage. He said if these needs aren´t met, an individual will find it difficult to function in society.
We will use Joe, a 30-year-old individual as a case study to understand these needs and how it applies to every individual and why they are motivated to do things they aren´t expected to do at first.
Joe has just completed his Degree studies and studied Engineering. He doesn't have a job at the moment and he finds it difficult to interact with other people or even function in society and this has become so tough for him. His problem now is to satisfy his **“Physiological Needs”** as he believes that it is the most distinctive need as other needs are secondary to him. Joe understood that it is until these needs are met before he can move on to the next stage of his life. The physiological needs would dictate Joe´s life to a very large extent.
He has no money to do these things and he needs to stand up to look for a job so he can be able to meet his needs such as food, water and shelter. He went in search of a job and found one as a staff in a small firm. He starts to make money and from there bought food and got a room apartment for himself. At this stage, Joe has achieved the first stage of Maslow´s hierarchy of needs.
Now, Joe thinks of his **“Safety and Security Need”** as he has now started earning money in his company. The house he rented at first is not safe for him as there are burglaries, gangs works and drug abuse around him. He gather some amount of money and went to look for a safer place to stay. He set aside part of the money for savings for his future and went into a life insurance plan that will help him cover some hospital charges in case he needs to go for an operation in the future.
During this process, Joe got a promotion as a manager in the company which makes his job more secure for him. He now develops a major sense of security and could now progress higher to the third stage of human needs which is the **“Need for Love and Belongings”.**
*According to Maslow, humans need to love and be loved among social groups and without this, such an individual cannot go up to the next stage of the needs. A human will crave love, affection and relationship with friends and families.*
Joe now has a stable job plus a higher income with a good house, but he feels lonely, he needs love and decided to find it. At this point, Joe has met his physiological, safety and security needs and he needs love and affection. He falls in love with a lady, and they both got married and had children. The sadness, anxiety, depression and loneliness that Joe had has now been replaced with love, happiness, companionship and affection with a beautiful family.
He is now wanting to create a meaningful relationship in the outside world apart from his family. He decides to join a local book club in his environment and got involved in the circling group with different people on weekends.
He starts attending his children´s PTA meeting in the school, accompanying them to their music and football practices where he gets to meet other parents and people with similar goals and interests. Then on one of the weeks, probably Sundays, he decides to be hosting a barbeque party where he invites all these new people around to celebrate and have fun with him.
Maslow then said once an individual has achieved all these needs up to the social needs, he starts to desire **self-esteem** needs which is the fourth stage.
`Self Esteem includes two components which are;`
Feeling confident and good about yourself
Being valued by others.
When these esteem needs are not met, an individual will experience feelings of inferiority and won´t function or grow well among his peers in society.
Joe starts to accept contracts from different organisations and even beyond his location and he sees this as an achievement for him as he earns more income than before. He now has a great Job title and earns respect from people. Joe has now reached his goal and feels a sense of superiority. After many years of working, and having reached the epitome of his career, he starts to feel the excitement and hollowness from inside and then he began to question if life is only about making money, buying luxurious homes and expensive cars, he starts to question his career path as a manager in the company.
He realizes this wasn't his passion after all, but took the step to meet his physiological needs years back. His true passion is to invent things for which he has done his degrees in Engineering. He decides he has enough savings and a good investment portfolio to help him in his passion. He quit his job and starts a technology startup and he starts enjoying what he was passionate about and worked hard to achieve more goals. At this stage of the hierarchy needs, Joe has fulfilled the fifth stage which is **“Self Actualization”**. He has been able to define himself and do what he was meant to do.
This is the highest stage of the pyramid of needs and this self-actualization varies. Your self-actualization need might be to become a freelancer or a programmer or even a chef.
Now, we can see the life of Joe as he started from the first stage to the last stage and was able to self examine himself to follow his passion after going through years of making money to satisfy his needs from physiological to being valued by others.
Also, we were made to know that not everyone would reach this stage especially when there are some people who do not understand why they go to school in the first instance. All they are after is to keep making money and living a good life. Self-actualization is when you are able to reach your full potential and this is already considered an exception since people are working to meet their pressing needs.
Thanks for reading.
`Lead image created on Canva`
Images by Albert and Sincerely on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/ILip77SbmOE https://unsplash.com/photos/dGxOgeXAXm8
[May 11, 2022] (No 131 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/which-do-i-prefer-96e8ea6d#may-06-2022-no-126-article-for-the-year
"Akudaaya" (Died and Reappeared)
*“If you get up in the morning and think the future is going to be better, it is a bright day. Otherwise, it's not.”*
- Elon Musk. https://kidadl.com/quotes/best-bright-quotes-to-help-your-light-shine
Don't doubt me if I tell you not every human being you see walking is real. Are you surprised? In our world today, with what we are seeing and hearing happening, you will believe someone who told you they have seen a lot on earth especially having the dead living among the living. You are still shocked? The truth is that there are dead among us and many people do not believe things like this happened but the Yoruba culture strongly believes in what we call ***"Akudaaya" (died and reappeared)***
Yes, we have a lot of Akudaaya in our midst but one may not know them unless you are sensitive enough to know them without being spiritual about it. You can know and identify them with your naked eyes. How is that possible? Continue reading while I narrate some stories, including real-life stories to back this up and make us know how to spot people like them.
I was inspired to write on this after reading @Bilqees article. You can read it here https://read.cash/@Bilqees/the-dead-people-roaming-around-02293d16
According to her, she narrated a real-life story of her Aunt's stepdaughter who died but reappeared again somewhere else. Just read her story to know more about what happened.
I think last year in one of my articles, I narrated a true life story which my mom told me about a young guy who was a mechanic working beside my mom's shop. He was working on a Friday and a trailer hit him and he died instantly.
The guy went home after he died because according to my mom, he used to go home every Friday and would return on Monday because the distance from his house to our place is very far and for him not to be wasting transport fare daily, he would spend Mon to Fri in his shop and travel home to meet his wife.
He went home on Friday and stayed with his wife without letting her know he was dead. On Monday morning, the guy didn't go to work and this was a surprise to his wife. She asked why he wasn't prepared for work but he told her he wasn't feeling fine and would want to stay at home. The guy and his wife were gisting and they saw the guy's parents and some co-workers coming from the gate. The guy quickly told his wife he was coming and that he wanted to pick something in his room.
The parents came in and the wife was surprised to see them in their home uninvited. It took a lot of time for her to believe her husband had been dead since Friday but came to stay with her because she went to the room but didn't find him. He already disappeared.
I watched a movie similar to this too. This guy died and was buried but he went to create a family somewhere else very far from his parent's house. They had children and when it was time to show his wife and children his family because the wife has been disturbing him to show his family since they got married until after three kids. Why would you date someone without knowing their family or lineage? They went on this journey and he told his wife and children to step down from the car and pointed at a house for them to go in and wait for him while he goes somewhere very important.
They went inside and the parents were shocked to find out the truth but they insisted their son was dead a long time ago. It was until they took the wife to where he was buried many years ago that she believed she had married an **"Akudaaya".**
These Akudaaya wished to spend their lives with those they love and would love to have their own family but something would happen that will make them disappear forever and go to another place to make another family where they will not be spotted.
When they die, they sojourn in another place where no one would see them, especially those who know they have died. But once they notice someone who knew about their death is around. They would disappear forever because these people were believed to come and expose them. This is why many people should be careful not to fall into their traps because it is not a good thing to copulate with a dead person who came back again in another place.
*But there is a way to know these kinds of people among the living. How?*
When you have someone you don't know anything about them. They keep giving excuses when you asked them to show their family. They either make an excuse that their village or hometown is a far place or can't go because of bad roads. At least such an excuse is still acceptable but when it becomes something they keep saying and for years, they don't want you to know their family or anyone close to them, know that they are the ones we are referring to as **"Akudaaya"**
Someone can't be living and not have a family. At least even if it is a close friend or relative, they might be traceable but if they are not, please, be careful. Though they do no harm, especially when you have nothing to do with their death, they hunt those who killed them.
One reason I can say why these people choose to reappear again is that perhaps they are the only child of their parents and they don't want to leave without leaving a mark, probably giving birth to someone who would stand for them while they are gone. They would then go to a far place to have a family, settle down and have children. Then they send the wife and children to their parents as proof that they have someone who would represent them while they are gone.
Just like I said, don't be too close to someone you can't trace their lineage. If they keep making excuses for their family or home and aren't ready to show you who they are, beware of them.
Once they know someone who is around that knows of their death, they disappear from that vicinity and go elsewhere.
Though something still baffles me about this happening. Is this possible since God said once a person is dead, judgment follows? Why then do we have these kinds of creatures living among the living?
Thanks for reading
Images by Axel on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/lXv7vx8e-NM
[May 10, 2022] (No 130 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/which-do-i-prefer-96e8ea6d#may-06-2022-no-126-article-for-the-year
An Absolute Perfect Day
*“Don’t wait for a perfect day. To make it a perfect day, dance the whole day, sing every hour, and love every moment”*
― **Debasish Mridha** https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/perfect-day#:~:text=%E2%80%9CJust%20a%20perfect%20day%2C%20problems%20all%20left%20alone.%E2%80%9D&text=%E2%80%9CThere%20is%20no%20perfect%20condition,perfect%20day%20to%20take%20action.%E2%80%9D&text=%E2%80%9CEvery%20day%20can%20look%20like,if%20you%20do%20something%20ideal.%E2%80%9D&text=%E2%80%9CEveryday%20is%20a%20perfect%20day%20to%20be%20kind.%E2%80%9D
Happy Monday Sweeties! It´s a bright new day for me and I am hoping it brings a lot of blessings for us all. Yesterday, I spent all day indoors until later in the evening when the light went off and the heat was another thing for me. I quickly picked up my phone, took a chair and went to sit under the big cashew tree in the compound. My mind went straight there so as to focus while reading articles on readcash.
I don´t like noise or disturbances around me, and my siblings were ready to give me that but I quickly took to my heels and found solace under the tree while listening to the birds, the breeze was flowing through my body, even though the insects weren´t allowing me to enjoy my space but I never mind them. I only spent an hour there before taking a shift to another habitation which helped me a lot to concentrate and did some things online.
For today, I would be doing my own version of the article I read from Ate Jane which she posted two days ago titled “there is no perfect anyway”. I already read from @ARTicLEE some days ago too. https://read.cash/@Jane/there-is-no-perfect-anyway-27af180a
**What would be the absolute perfect day?**
Absolute means *“Complete”.* So if I am trying to describe a completely perfect day for me, it goes in different ways and directions. A perfect day can mean different things to everyone.
A perfect day can be that moment I have achieved my targets and all I have left is to take a full rest and enjoy things around me since my goals have been achieved for that day.
A perfect day can be a fun day for me. A day I just want to have fun because I have nothing other than enjoying the moment being myself, taking myself out and just smiling to myself.
A perfect day can mean taking time for a walk when I know I have nothing to do. Walking around nature and smiled at people passing by, listening to the birds singing and the ocean rumbling very close to me.
A completely perfect day can be the moment I heard good news from someone and all I would just do is sing and dance to God appreciating life and the opportunities granted to me.
What did you learn a little late?
What did I learn? There are so many things I have learned a little late that I wished I had done them in the past but as it is, one shouldn´t think about the past mistakes but focus on learning from the mistakes and trying not to make any errors for the future. I learned a little late that **“10% of what I have earned is mine to keep”.**
This actually was a result of reading the book *“The richest man in Babylon”.* I said something when I made a post about this book that if I had read this book before now, I would have made some changes coming across such phrase and would definitely let it keep ringing in my head till today because as of now, I am always remembering it each day I wake up. Now, imagine if I had been saving before now and not spending all, it would have been a different thing. Well, instead of the ten percent, I am covering up for those times by increasing the percentage to 20. This is what I learned a little too late.
**What do people overestimate or underestimate about you?**
I am kind of a gentle girl who doesn´t love troubles. I love to give and once I have pity on a person, I can do anything to help such person out in such condition. I am a free person and always love to tell you about me, and what to know about me and I believe that for you to be close to and around me, I expect you to keep my secret and never use it against me. But it´s another way around. People take my act of giving for granted and would always demand and they get angry if I open up to them about not having. They think I am being selfish or proud of myself.
Let me make an example so you can understand. My friends knew I work online and make money because I have introduced them times without numbers and even revealed what I earn to them and because of this, they think I don´t have responsibilities. They think I don´t have a family to support and they think I am not planning my life for the future, but all they were after is to keep spending on them since they know what I do. Was it a crime to reveal what I do to them? Was that a reason to ask and get angry if I don´t give them? That is human for you. Once they know something about you, they overestimate you and expect more and when you fail them, they change towards you.
Because I look gentle in the eyes, they thought I am weak and wouldn´t be able to express myself but many times I prove to them that what they think of me isn´t about me. Not speaking out sometimes doesn´t mean I am a fool or cannot fight for myself, what they don´t understand is that I love peace to reign and if I don´t fight back, it means I want it to end there without having to offend anyone. So, they thought I am a weak person in that aspect.
**What do you most look forward to about getting old?**
I don´t want to look back on my life when I am old and feel despair about not achieving my goals. There is a stage which is the last stage of the Erik Erikson psychosocial development which talks about ***Integrity vs Despair.***
This stage begins at age 65 where when one looks back to remember his or her past achievement and when he or she knows all goals have been fulfilled, they feel a sense of integrity for achieving and living a good life, but when one cannot pinpoint what they lived their lives for, they feel sad and develop despair.
I don´t want to feel such but a sense of integrity for accomplishing my aims in life. I look forward to having a wonderful family where I have led a good example for my children to live by and are already living well and independently without depending on me for survival especially when I have nothing left to leave behind.
I want to contemplate my life and see how great I have done many things, fulfilled all targets and just relaxed without doing any stressful jobs to earn a living for myself. I don´t want to see my life as unproductive, I don´t want to feel guilty for the rest of my life but to live a fulfilled and glorious life which is worth emulating.
Thanks for reading.
Images by Jeffery and Christina on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/JlvQzUIX8xg https://unsplash.com/photos/RvIDScoR4Dw
[May 09, 2022] (No 129 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/which-do-i-prefer-96e8ea6d#may-06-2022-no-126-article-for-the-year
The Hard Way (My story)
*"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from".*
**Al Franken** https://www.azquotes.com/author/5116-Al_Franken
One thing I love about @Olasquare is how he writes his life´s experiences and most of them are similar to what I have experienced too. As I was reading his article last night, I was inspired to share my story because it was similar to what has happened in the life of my Father. I wouldn´t want you to pity me or feel for me because I believe we can learn from it too because I have learned, still learning and will continue to learn especially from him. It´s just so sad that this is happening around me. If you haven´t read his article, please do because you will have something to take with you (The Hard Way) https://read.cash/@Olasquare/the-hard-way-50d0e9e8
Learning is part of life and if we don´t want to learn willingly, life will teach us and plan everything for us with no option again, that is if it is too late. We have the choice to choose. Either we learn the soft way or learn the hard way, but know that learning the hard way is always regrettable and by then, it will be too late to correct your mistakes but you can change the errors if you do not want to continue living such a life.
According to Olasquare, his mom didn´t take her business seriously until her husband died and there was nothing to fall back on. Same with my Dad. He had many opportunities right from when he was a youth, but alcohol addiction took everything away from him because he depended on his wife for everything. Our mom was an industrious woman and very hardworking. She had many businesses before her death. Dad never was serious about himself. Though they had a good marriage life, not until after 20 years, did things begin turning the bad way through his addiction to alcohol.
My Dad was a popular life band singer and every money he got from shows, he would squander on alcohol until there was nothing left to take home for mom. Mom never complained but would keep talking to Dad about how he was spending lavishly. If he had known, he would have been saving or invested in businesses but he was fully dependent on his wife.
I use to imagine the kind of family he has because they cared for their elder brother so much that they never left him alone in such a condition he was. His siblings have sent huge amounts of money on different occasions thinking he would spend it wisely, but he didn´t. Still, his wife never complained but acted as a good wife to him.
Life dealt with him in the hard way after mom´s death. I pitied our father then because he struggled to feed us which made me go for a teaching job to support him. Life became hard through his unseriousness in life and it affected us so much. He began to sell everything in the house just so he could have money, but my Dad never listened to us after begging him to stop alcohol.
Dad still didn´t learn from his past mistakes even when a woman was interested in marrying him. He went to the US for the first time to meet her, but things didn´t turn out good. Before he went to US, this was another chance for Dad to be serious with everything in life because he got over a million naira from this woman but never invested or saved it. He squandered all on alcohol and when they separated, that was when life decided to deal with him. Dad expected everything to fall on him and fully depended on those who were willing to help him, from my mom to his siblings and the woman who wanted to be serious with him, but he ruined everything.
According to Ola´s words here;
*If you don't step out of your comfort zone and plan your life, life will plan it for you just as you have chosen and it would be painful.*
Life planned everything for Dad but right now, he has no choice. Thank God for his children because the little we have, we send to him in the village. I don´t think he is ready to do anything again because he is already 64 years and staying with his mom.
It´s really so sad and painful for his children especially me because Dad had a lot of opportunities to make use of then, but he decided not to learn but depended on his wife and everyone.
What if his children were wayward right from time or hadn´t tried to go to school, what would have been his fate today?
I learned many things from him and this made me say that if you don´t learn in a soft way, you will learn the hard way.
If you think depending on your partner is the way, remember death is inevitable and can happen at anytime. Making use of opportunities now that you have the time and strength is the best for you so you wouldn´t start regretting and blaming every steps you took when you will have no strength to do anything.
Dad is now stuck in the village since he has nothing to do. The little we have, we send to him and many times, he eats whatever is being prepared at home without complaining. At this moment, life is teaching him the hard way.
If he had stopped drinking alcohol then and diverted the money into something productive, he wouldn´t be where he is today and this serves as a big lesson to us because I am always reminding my siblings, especially my brother to take some lessons from his life and be careful but to always save and invest so in the future even if anything happens, he would see something to fall back on. Dad never expected his wife would die soon but it did and he had no control over it.
**In conclusion**
Life is in series and for every series, there is something to learn from because if you think you have everything working for you especially as a rich child, depending on your parent´s properties, things may not be the way you envisaged them because life will come to you in an unplanned way and you will be wondering how it happened. For you not to be caught up in the web, it is better to be prepared for every stage in life.
Thanks for reading
Image by Flash on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/N92PmuFjVOI
[May 08, 2022] (No 128 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/which-do-i-prefer-96e8ea6d#may-06-2022-no-126-article-for-the-year
Who do you say I am?
*"Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us".*
*Earl Nightingale* https://www.keepinspiring.me/attitude-quotes/
It's a bright new day and the end of the week. Who is happy with me? I am super grateful for how the week turned out for me because, since the beginning of a beautiful week, it has been exciting for me. All thanks to God. Yesterday, I couldn't do anything on Readcash but I was on Hive curating posts in the EcoTrain community as I needed to get all done so I can do other things, but things took turns in the house as I had to supervise and get them in order. These children won't even frustrate my life 😁
It was already getting late before I could finally come to focus on this platform as I replied to comments on my previous posts and I visited articles up to 30. Then I watched a movie at 12 am and slept by 2 am. While watching the movie, I had many topics to write on and I was contemplating which one to go for as I can't write all at once but I jot the topics down so I can form a post on them.
Then, a question came to my mind **"Who do you think I am?"** I was thinking about this and I got some things to talk about me. Though some might get to know a little about me. I think I should add some to it to reveal who I am really.
I use to be proud of something about myself. It is that my personality is sweet and fun. I love the kind of person I am and I am forever grateful for that. I am writing this so that I will always refer back to it to remind me of who I am so that I won't change later.
**When I love, I do with all my heart**
Though love has been abused by so many people. They take love for granted and what they don't understand is that when you love someone, you sacrifice many things for them. It is not that you will lay your life down for them or do what you know you won't be able to stand on. When you love, would you want to hurt them? When you love, would you want to take what doesn't belong to you?
When I love, I love truly and there is no pretence about it. I don't love and behind you hating you. My love doesn't hurt others and I fully understand people even when they leave because I know not everyone would stay with you forever. If they leave, they already finished their mission or purpose and you should respect that. When they stay, then you continue learning from them. My love is just like making you happy and letting you know if I am okay with whatever I want to do so it doesn't hurt you or me. My love isn't biased and I don't look less at people because I know that we all are the same in the hands of God.
God created you and I, so whatever situation or position you are in, I will never look down on you and if we are privileged to be closer, then believe me when I say I love you.
**I don't have evil intentions toward anybody.**
Why would I be thinking of evil when I love you? I vividly believe the law of karma that says what you sow, you will reap. Will I want to destroy my future by my evil actions toward you today? No! I am always scared when something bad happens to anyone and so, I wouldn't want such to happen to me. This is why I am happy for everyone and do not think of harming them.
**I get angry easily but not with people outside**
I still can't believe something like this can happen. Yes, I admit I am hot-tempered and easily get angry but my anger is internal and not external. I tend to get angry and peevish at my family, especially my siblings but I respect outsiders because I know everyone has this craze in them but we are only trying to hide them from others even though some aren't ashamed and would vent their anger on anyone. I am not that way.
I always caution myself when I am angry with people and I let them know what they did is wrong but the anger only lasts for some minutes and I still talk to you the next day. I don't harbour hatred at all because I am always remembering the future because we might not know where we would meet ourselves. Humans are like water and so, I don't want to do things I would regret tomorrow thereby implicating my generation. So when I get angry at you, it only lasts for a few minutes and we are back again. I will never hate you. Never
**I smile at everything**
This is the best part about me. I love to smile even when I am angry at you. I said something some time ago that when I am angry at my siblings, they know how to get me instantly and I smile, forgetting what happened. I may not know if I offend you or you offend me because I quickly forget whatever happened and that does not make me chase you away but when you approach me with it, I smile meaning that it's okay. I don't know how to offend someone. I am gentle and do not cause trouble, so whatever that may cause any rift between us, I move away from it and act carefully. I love being respected and for that to happen, I respect you irrespective of who you are.
**I wish you good luck**
Everyone wants to be great and successful and I know what it is to hustle to survive. When I see you doing well, I am happy because it is never a good thing to be poor. We all want to achieve our aims and so, I wish you the best. It doesn't sound well if I am reaching the top and you are still below when I know you are also wishing to get there. I pray for people and I want the best for everyone.
I am not someone who wishes you remain poor or do not achieve the best. Who doesn't want a good thing? Everyone does. So, I am not a pretender to smile at you and frown at you again. I am not a biased person at all. Well, if you are closer to me, you will understand me.
**I will never envy you, instead, you are pushing me to do better too**
I have always seen people doing far better than me. Thank God for that but you will never see me envying you or trying to compete with you to get there. If you are doing better than me and I see it as something I wish to do, what do I do? I make efforts too. It's like being motivated to achieve it because I also want a good thing.
The day I realize I am hurting myself was when I saw others doing better than me and I was demotivated, instead of getting up and working hard too. I realized too that some people are actually aiming to get to where I am and to do better also. Why won't I crave good things too? One thing I will never do is go beyond my limit. I want to enjoy life and I wouldn't do what some people are doing illegally to make fame for themselves. I love being contented and praying to God to help me too.
Let me stop here as I have given you a few things about me. I have my flaws which I admit. One of them is being stubborn and doing what I set to do even if I would be disgraced in the end. Many times my stubbornness has led me to indecision about my life and I am always working to be better.
Thanks for reading
`Image designed on Canva`
[May 07, 2022] (No 127 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/which-do-i-prefer-96e8ea6d#may-06-2022-no-126-article-for-the-year
Which do I prefer?
*“It’s Friday morning mankind! Good vibe, don’t frown and let the monster see you smile!”*
—Napz Cherub Pellazo https://www.google.com/amp/s/parade.com/934975/parade/friday-quotes/amp/
Since I already knew what I would be posting for today, I wasn't worried but took my time to do other things since everything would be based on myself.
I had another great night and I slept like a baby. It rained heavily last night and I relished the cold too. This is my best season though but the lack of electricity made it my worst season too. What will I do? Do I have a choice? Except we make use of Generator in case they refuse to bring the light due to the rain.
I woke up this morning feeling better. My sister travelled for her Jamb exam yesterday and I was the one who helped to do her chores. I didn't want to leave everything to my cousin but had to help her so it doesn't get too much for her. Besides, she is going to where she learns her computer and photography skills and wouldn't want to go late.
I finished that and started writing for a challenge on Hive from the Hive Learners community and I finished after two hours of writing and editing, then getting the right images.
Now, let's move on to today's post. I read @Mayiee post yesterday and that was when I got the inspiration to write mine. I enjoyed reading her version and if you are interested, you can just visit her link. https://read.cash/@Mayiee/cuddling-up-with-my-8-different-partners-in-bed-daccd46b#comment-63b16e6c
**Light on or Light off?**
Even though I like both while sleeping, I am always afraid, especially at night when the light is on and I would think a spirit is at my window staring at me. This is why I switch off the light to sleep peacefully. But I would prefer putting on the light when sleeping.
**Light or Heavy sleeper**
I choose both. Why? I sleep lightly in the afternoon because I don't sleep too deep like that. I am someone who would always calculate things in my head every time and focus on my target and when I take a nap in the afternoon, I stand up after thirty minutes or less, then pick up my phone and most times, I only lie down to rest my head.
For the heavy sleeper, count me in. People do complain about how I sleep at night and I wouldn't know when someone comes to my room. They could kidnap me without knowing😂😂 I can sleep heavily and wouldn't know what is happening. My sister told me yesterday how she came to my room at 6 am and didn't know when she came and pick torchlight which was beside me.
Don't blame me though. Most times, when I sleep late at night, I sleep heavily and guess what? I am sensitive when insects or cockroaches make a sound in my room 😄 I open my eyes and make sure I kill them then go back to sleep.
**Fan or no Fan?**
Remember I said it rained heavily last night? The fan was on in case light comes and while it rained so heavily that I thought they wouldn't bring light, it came and I didn't know the fan was on. I was feeling some air on me but I thought it was the cold which didn't affect me. I love putting on a fan even in the cold or harmattan except there is no light. I even bought a mini rechargeable fan in case there is no light.
`So if you don't like fans in the cold, you can't sleep with me😁`
**One or Several Pillows?**
Nay!! I don't use any. I love sleeping straight on my bed even if you give me a pillow, I will just put it beside me and use the bed peacefully. The pillow makes me uncomfortable and I don't want that. I can only have a pillow just for decoration on the bed.
**Early in bed or Late sleeper?**
Which would you prefer? Since the invention of technology, I don't think I have seen someone sleeping early especially when you are working online and trying to hustle and survive. You can ask someone like @Olasquare 😁
They say the rich and successful people work at night and do not sleep early. Why would I go to bed early when I have a lot to do? The time I sleep at night is from 12-2 am and when I go to bed early, it means I am sick or weak but when I am in the mood, I sleep late.
Sleeping late doesn't make me wake up late because my usual time is 5 am. Even if the alarm doesn't wake me up, I wake up automatically at that time 😁😁
**Thin or thick blanket?**
I don't use any! I sleep just like that. I don't use a blanket or wrapper at all because I will feel the heat even if there is cold.
**PJ or Comfy Clothes?**
I love to sleep naked since I am alone. But when someone sleeps with me, I go with my lingerie and pants and I am off to bed.
**Drink Milk or Water?**
I drink both but the milk is sometimes. I love drinking a lot of water when I wake up in the morning and when I feel like it, I take milk instead. This is why I don't let my refilled milk get finished as I love buying it with chocolate and I take it anytime I want.
Thanks for reading
Image by Annie on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/bxt-tWSF-Ko
[May 06, 2022] (No 126 article for the year)
What makes people charming?
*"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom".*
Marcel Proust https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/marcel-proust-quotes
When you tell someone “you are charming”, what does it mean? Why do you think he or she is charming? There would be something or things you have seen such a person exhibiting or doing, that makes you look at his or her face with a smile and say ***“you are charming”***. Charming means for someone to be extremely pleasing, attractive or delightful. Whichever you want to choose, a person who is charming means the person is good to the extreme. We would be looking at some characteristics a person must possess to be called a charming person because you can't see or meet a bad person and say he or she is charming.
As long as we know, we have beautiful people around us who are ready to make us happy. We want to be seen around them and likewise, they want to be with us so they can listen to us and help us resolve the problems we might be sharing with them. Now, let's take a look at those who are charming and how they are qualified to be called that.
**A charming person talks less.** We have all been made to understand that when we are interacting with others, we should talk less and not too much so we don´t say things we ought not to say. People in this category know when to talk and not to talk and they believe that actions speak louder than voices. If you want to know those who are charming, observe them when they talk, people like them are found to act rather than talk and they pay attention to the situation before they talk and when they do, they do it less and straight to the point and they already pass across their messages.
Talking less helps one to focus on the matter on the ground and they say the essential things rather than beating around the bush. A person who talks less makes every word count. The less a person says, the more information the person you are speaking with will share and you will be able to learn from each other.
**A charming person talks calmly.** Just like talking less, it is similar to talking calmly and slowly because they don´t want to make errors while talking. They want to make sure the other person is getting their points so it doesn't look like time-wasting. When a person talks calmly, it reveals the person´s personality and how he or she handles matters in a more intelligent way. Talking calmly helps you to focus on the matter and proffer solutions where necessary.
**A charming person maintains good eye contact while speaking.** Yoruba will always say *“it is in the eyes, words are revealed”* You don't want to start speaking and looking below your feet or gazing at the ceiling, it makes you an unfocused and unserious fellow. Maintaining good eye contact means you are paying attention to the other person while talking and the other person is flowing along with you. Such a person knows what it means to look eyeball to eyeball to catch the attention of who he is speaking with.
**A charming person has respect towards a subordinate and strangers.** A person in this category knows how to respect everyone including those that are lesser in authority. He or she doesn't discriminate but treats everyone with respect. While some will want to exercise their power on those lesser than them and not be humble, a charming person knows how to accord respect to people younger than him including strangers because he knows everyone, whether young or old should be given respect. Respect is reciprocal and such a person would want to earn his respect by showing to others irrespective of who they are. They don´t look down on anyone and aren't proud.
**A charming person keeps a faint smile throughout a conversation**. Even when the conversation is funny or not, the other person might not want to be seen as useless, but keeping a faint smile which could probably not be noticeable would be found on a charming person´s face. They understand them while they talk and giving a faint smile means they are following up with what others are saying and shouldn´t be seen laughing out loud because it might mean you are mocking the other person and be considered as someone who is not serious.
**A charming person admits his mistakes and flaws with confidence and humility.** A person in this category believes that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws, so admitting them makes them a better person because they are ready to learn from others and want others to learn from them. He is ready to take the blame and criticism when he makes mistakes and does not keep his flaws to himself but he is ready to talk it out with confidence and allow others to learn from him. Also, they make mistakes, admit that they did it and are ready to make changes where necessary even from young ones.
**A charming person lives happily, does what is right and does not complain much about life.** People in this category want to be happy and wouldn't want anything to jeopardize that moment for them. They believe they own their happiness and should create it, despite being in a bad situation since they know they can´t change what has happened, but taking the step to do what is right and never complains too much about life. A charming person takes responsibility and accepts situations as they are, and they are ready to do what is right to turn things in their favour and never to complain or put blame on the circumstances of life.
With all these characteristics I have explained, I believe many of us are charming because we possess most, if not all of them, and if you actually pass all of these, because I know we aren't perfect, then, this is me saying that **“you are charming”.**
Thanks for reading.
Image by Vitolda on unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/Di3gFqElGQs
[May 05, 2022] (No 125 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/buying-in-bulk-is-that-your-way-d764e455#may-04-2022-no-124-article-for-the-year
Buying in Bulk?? Is that your way?
*“All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.”*
– John Gunther https://www.sophisticatedgourmet.com/food-quotes/
I have always loved to have my things stock up inside because I don't like begging or asking for this and that from another person. My foodstuffs are in bulk as I don't want to be stranded or not have anything available in my house especially when I need something to cook urgently. The feeling that you have a lot of food and ingredients in the house is always ecstatic.
You can never see me asking for matches from a neighbor because I am always having those little things available and would notice if they are getting finished so I can quickly get another from the market.
One of the reasons I stock up my home with foodstuffs and ingredients is because I am someone who doesn't always leave her room. I prefer to stay indoors as long as there is food and wouldn't be needing anything outside. Besides, it helps me save money for other things.
I have a cabinet where I store my foods and things I would need anytime and whenever I go to the market, I buy things in bulk and not little by little.
I have found out that when you buy things in the market in bulk, they are cheaper than buying them one by one. Besides, there would be times when one would be stranded and there wouldn't be money to get what you want at that moment, but having foods in surplus at home with your gas filled will make you comfortable and relaxed.
Who doesn't like buying in Bulk? Don't you have that feeling of comfort in you when you have a lot of raw foods in your home?
Growing up, I have made up my mind not to do what my parents did. We would always buy things in little quantities and most times we are left stranded when we need something we couldn't find in the area, especially at night and we just have to manage what is at home. Another factor that could be responsible for this is poverty.
Many people wished to stock their home with lots of food and other things they would need but lack of money stops them from achieving their aim. It's so sad though but I believe one can get out of such mentality and still be able to manage to buy things in the home without having to always ask from neighbors those little things you shouldn't be asking like matches, maggi, salt, onions etc
You can't come to my home and not find those things available. In fact, if I need to prepare something at night, I don't need to knock at other's doors to request for something I need. My siblings and I love to buy things in bulk and would save money for other things.
When I was in school, students would always come around to ask for these little things. I didn't expect them to borrow or ask because being a student doesn't mean you shouldn't have them in your home. I have seen many students complaining they aren't given much money from home, but these are people you will see buying fancy clothes and shoes. What is important? Your needs or wants?
As much as we would believe, food is very important in a man's life and without it, you can't do other things but they prefer to buy clothes, look good rather than buying little things to keep them satisfied.
I was also a student then and I know how important food is in our lives. I don't joke with food and so, I try to buy things in bulk because a day will come I won't have money to get things I need but buying ahead of time would save me.
This is why I keep working hard to save some money for food every month. At the end of the month, I go to the market to buy foodstuffs and by calculating, It takes me another two months to buy food again and for that period, I save my money for other things while I am enjoying my food.
It is always good to plan your life to be comfortable. Be able to understand the difference between your wants and needs.
Being poor isn't an excuse not to buy food at home. There are days you will have money and being wise to set aside a little amount to get those things you need will make you wise, but comparing yourself to others and wanting to live above your limit is what makes one a fool.
Food is important and you need to get ready for it. Buy in bulk as it is cheaper than buying little quantities everyday which takes money away from you because with such a habit, you can never save. Learn to save your money and buy in bulk rather than going to evey shop to buy things that would get finished at a goal.
Having in bulk too has helped me to give to others. You can't give what you don't have and through this act, I have always been blessed. If I don't have, I won't give and it's impossible to be blessed too if you don't help others.
Thanks for reading
Images by Christian Jake and Obi on unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/PBvFpF3f624 https://unsplash.com/photos/zoymUrsMg0g https://unsplash.com/photos/rNI-kzGgOxY
[May 04, 2022] (No 124 article for the year)
His Ego ruined it all.
*“When the ego is with you then your heart becomes like sick.”*
Quote Source https://www.statusb4u.com/2020/09/ego-status-quotes.html?m=1
Many things are happening in this life and it's good to pay attention to those things so we can learn from them and be able to apply them in our lives and eliminate the bad ones we don't want.
Marriage is fragile, just like women which should be handled with wisdom and care and also to know the right thing to do and not to do. Marriage is sweet but with the right person, even though there's no guarantee that there will always be a happy moment, challenges would suffice but being with the right partner wouldn't call for divorce or abuse of any sort but both partners would come together to solve it without the third party or fifth columnist.
I read @HappyBoy article about "Happy Ever After?" The part I read which reminds me of a movie I watched and would love to narrate to you was where he mentioned Men's Ego. He attended a program and learnt that some men wouldn't even want their wives to work or earn more than they do. https://read.cash/@HappyBoy/happy-ever-after-87292bdc
Some men want to be superior and do not want their wives to progress more than them because they believe or assume if they do, they will be treated lowly by their wives. This is not so with all women, especially if it is a woman who loves and humbles her husband. There is no crime with your wife earning more than you, it's all about unity and love. If you love each other, both of you wouldn't have any cause to hate another of his or her progress as long as you guys are in agreement.
This man promised to sponsor his wife to be for her Masters once they get married. This lady insisted on going for her Masters before getting married and making sure to achieve all her dreams, but the man's promise to her made her trust him. The love grew and flourished even while dating which made the woman believe he would fulfill her dreams and not become a full house wife.
After they got married, the man stopped her from working, he didn't fulfill his promise of sending her to do her Masters. He believed he was capable of taking care of her being a full house wife. This lady would beg her husband to allow her work so she doesn't have to keep requesting for money from him but he declined.
He would always go on business trips and most times wouldn't come home for months and he never bothered sending money to her. He was intentional in his plans for her by not giving her money and was selfish to even calculate foodstuffs and give her the actual money for them.
He didn't allow her to take care of herself other than the only daughter they had. He was happy doing this and it always made her sad. Still, she never stopped respecting and loving him. She was ridiculed by her friends and this made her get angrier but despite that, she never stopped showing respect and care. She was always submissive.
There was a day the man traveled as usual and didn't drop any money for her, believing the foodstuffs in the house would be enough for her and the daughter till he returns. One night, thieves came to rob them and when they didn't find any money, they shot the wife. The guy came back from his business trip and went to the hospital.
The lady lamented how he was not there for her. How he shattered her dreams and didn't fulfill his promise of sending her to do her Masters. She became the object of ridicule among her friends. As she was saying all these, the man was crying and promised to change and allow her further her education but it was too late as she gave up the ghost.
I felt for the lady because it is what is happening in the world. Some men think they are in control and are afraid of allowing their wives do better than them. Why wouldn't you be happy your wife is doing fine? If both of you really come together to understand things, there wouldn't be hatred among each other. Your happiness should be to see your partner doing well and always pray for their success and not shattering their dreams because you **assume** they would act superior over you.
Though some women are at fault too but why wouldn't you be submissive? The Bible says that husbands should love their wives, wives should be submissive to their husbands. These are part of the ingredients of a successful marriage. Love and Submission between both partners.
When there is love, every other thing wouldn't be difficult because you will find yourself enjoying your life. If you love, would you want to see others falling down? If you love, would you want to kill another fellow? If you love, would you want to have bad thoughts against another?
Love is the greatest of all things in this life because when you love, there is no length to the sacrifice you will make for another and the good part is that you will always be happy at each other's progress.
Marriage should be all about love and unity. Marriage should involve understanding each other. Talk about things together and solve the issues amicably. Drop your ego and focus on doing the right thing. Learn to appreciate each other's success especially as husband and wife.
Thanks for reading
Thank you @foryoubtc09 for renewing your sponsorship. I really appreciate it.
Image by Tom on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/T5lmpSYxnSU
[May 03, 2022] (No 123 article for the year)
Thank you for the compliment
The month of May started so well and on an amazing ground for my family. The beginning of a new month started on a Sunday and it's that moment to spend with God with other brethrens. We prepared our meals as usual before taking our bath and we all got dressed ready for Church.
My cousin took shots of me and my sister who is the last born while we trekked to church that wasn't up to ten minutes walk from home. The service had just started a few minutes after Sunday school and there were still a few programs to take before praise and worship.
The praise and worship started and it was just fifteen to twenty minutes before we moved on to another program on the pamphlet we were given. I paid attention to everything being done yesterday in the church, and when it was 12pm and there was no sign that the service would be ending soon, because they were doing a send-off party for a pastor that was transferred from our church after spending six years with us. It made the service longer.
I stood up and signaled to my sister to follow me so she could take some shots of me before leaving the church. Getting outside, I met my brother and was about to go home too. He also came around from school since the strike is still going on in the country. My sister went back to church while I told my brother to snap me which he did and we left for home together.
Grandma as usual sat down in the sitting room waiting for us as she knew service would be ending and this has always been what she does every Sunday since she stopped going to church. When everyone returns from church, we all would pray together and serve our meals. I ate my food while I made a post for my Hive account.
I took some shots and posted on my WhatsApp status but a guy had to comment saying I am short. That wouldn't be his first time saying it and I didn't want to get annoyed at him but I smiled and replied "Thank you for the compliment". I don't know why some people are just like that. He knows I am short and continuously repeating it is what I don't like.
I have always been someone who thinks I am not beautiful and would always be sad all the time. Many times I have tried to ask why God made me who I am but it's a way of blaspheming Him and saying ***"God, you did an awful job in creating me".*** We all are wonderfully and beautifully made by our creator.
I have come to realize that if you don't love yourself the way you are, no one will. If you don't place yourself as a quality brand, no one will notice you. If you do not see your true worth, people will look less at you. The way you see yourself is the way others will see you.
Just like a marketer marketing his business and adding a big value to his brand or product which makes customers rush in to taste it. So, you are a marketer and your product is **you**. Give a high premium on yourself and people will value you. These are what I have come to understand in life and in a way boosting your high self esteem.
So, if someone thinks I am short, yes I am and I am never gonna complain again because God has His reason for creating me that way. He could have made me a tall being, but what do I think would have happened if I was a tall person?
So, remember to place high value on yourself because you are expensive and worth it, don't allow anyone's criticism over your creation brings you down. God has a purpose for the way we are created.
I went to sit with my brother outside while I was busy doing some videos on Snapchat and he showed me the video of the lady that went viral who slept with a dog. I watched the video and that was so disgusting.
Olasquare said something in his post when I read it that he didn't know dogs have the energy to make a lady scream. I smiled and commented that there are things we learn and if such didn't happen, we won't know another fact about dogs 😂😂😂 So, in one way, we get to learn facts about life, animals, and human beings. Include that in your list of facts today.
Just because of 1.2 million naira, she made a mockery of herself by sleeping with a dog. She even went bold asking if we had seen such an amount of money before and was still claiming that what she did was better than killing a soul. Whose mother would see such and be happy? That is so unheard of, but the Bible already told us we are in perilous times, so don't be surprised if more should happen.
How much is the money that she wouldn't spend even in a few days? I pity her because I don't think she would have someone to settle down with after sleeping with a dog.
Thanks for reading
[May 02, 2022] (No 122 article for the year)
An Amazing April
*“As we close one chapter, the pen is gradually inking up, preparing itself to write the next.”*
Quote source https://kidadl.com/quotes/best-new-month-quotes-to-inspire-a-fresh-start
The month of April has dealt with me so nicely and I feel blessed for the grace I enjoyed in the past 30 days. Looking back at what I have achieved, all I could say is “thank you, God”. It has been His love towards me that has made me enjoy many things last month. I am fully awake at 1am with no sign of sleep coming because I slept yesterday afternoon. I was happy I took such a rest, that I had to leave all the work to my siblings by preparing lunch and dinner and they did it perfectly. Well, they have been doing it before I arrived, so that shouldn't be a problem if I didn't join them.
Last month, I was always worried about topics to write for my blog each day because ever since I have joined this platform for over a year now, I have never missed a day posting. It's either I post at my usual time or some hours after, and it was because of some changes in my routine most times, but I found out that once you are passionate about something and you have been used to writing, you will always have something to blog about. From your daily experiences, to troublesome news online, to making research and in all, we all come together to learn.
Though, there are days I battle over what to write because I wasn't always inspired, but I still ended up hitting the publish button. Many days I would be weak to pick up my phone to work, but I still try my best to do something even if not much. The fear of not visiting my blog daily is something I get worried over and I for a person loves to engage. I don't want people coming to support me and I wouldn´t reciprocate, even if not all, I would still try.
I may not be able to visit all articles in a day but I make sure to keep a tab on those I haven´t visited so that the next day, they would be the first people I visit and leave a comment or tips on their posts. They deserve being tipped once their content is interesting.
I have tried to renew my sponsorship to those I am sponsoring and I also would like to appreciate those sponsoring me. You are my inspiration and thank you for always supporting me with those big cents you give me every time.
I tried to work more on my engagement for the month of April as I believe with more engagement, comes followers. I have gained more subscribers, even though I didn't notice how many I earned, but the numbers were increasing, so it means I got more subscribers which was because of my engagement on the platform.
I am grateful to God for coming across BCH because my life has been transformed through it. The joy seeing my bch in my wallet increasing every day is something I would forever be grateful for the brain behind it. I am always rest assured of having money to spend whenever a need arises and it has been saving me from begging.
Two weeks ago, I withdrew 0.163BCH to cover up some expenses in which I shared part of the money with my siblings and bought things in the house which makes grandma happy to see how I am progressing. I was a child mama never wanted to see when I was very small, not until three or four years ago, I became someone she now loves, that she would always want me to come home to visit her. I can see the love grew so much in her because of what I was able to buy in the house for her and she was impressed.
My siblings give me the maximum respect because I extend my hands to them and whenever they alert me of needing some money, I am always there to give without hesitating. They are my family and it is my responsibility to help them and make them happy. This doesn't exclude other people because I share what I have with them and I am not a selfish person to withhold all things to myself alone without helping those who need it. God has been faithful in that area for me. All thanks to readcash and other platforms. I was able to gather 0.3 BCH apart from the ones I withdrew plus the ones I used in tipping users here. I smiled seeing how my efforts had paid off last month for me.
Here comes another month, believed to be a month of blessing in double for everyone. Last month was a bloody moment in the world of crypto but I wasn't sad in any way because I understand it is an opportunity to accumulate more bch so that when the price pumps, you will be happy with your progress. The lower the price of bch means the more Satoshi you accumulate and if you are lucky, you might earn 1 or more bch in just a month.
I am still happy with what I got from this platform and thank you @TheRandomRewarder for always making me happy. You have always been coming around from the beginning of April to the end and you encouraged me more to keep going because my content was interesting to you.
I made 30 articles and I am hoping to keep the track going in the month of May and would always be inspired through books and daily experiences. I believe the month of May will put a smile on our faces. I don't want to stop seeing your beautiful content as I promised to try my best this month, as I don't want to leave any of your posts unread. So help me God. Amen
Thanks for reading
Image by Jerrykimbrell on pixabay https://pixabay.com/es/photos/emocionado-sonriente-mujer-facultad-1280963/
[May 01, 2022] (No 121 article for the year)
https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/a-rich-in-heart-lady-f66c945d#april-24-2022-no-114-article-for-the-year
Lions and Buffalos
*"If the only thing you plan on doing this weekend is breathing, then that’s fine as well".*
Source https://turbofuture.com/internet/Weekend-Quotes-and-Caption-Ideas
I was inspired yesterday after watching the animal documentaries. This is the favorite channel of my cousins as they are always interested in seeing different kinds of animals. I don't have interest in watching this stuff but I was captivated by how the Lions attack their prey. I was busy working online when I stopped suddenly to focus on the TV while I was watching the Lions and Buffalos.
At first, it was a lion calculating and targeting its prey. The way the lion was acting was amazing to me because I was surprised to see how it was busy targeting and making sure it didn't miss its aim. There are two ways lions get their prey. Either by pouncing on them or knocking them over until they win. Lions do not give up on their prey and won't stop until they achieve their aim and if they miss the first aim, they start all over targeting another prey.
The Lion was trying to catch a baby buffalo and its target was focused on the baby. In fact, they were two babies but its main aim was on one. I knew at that moment that when a lion has focused its eyes on a particular prey, even if there are many prey, it only focuses only on the one being targeted.
The Lion bent down and was tiptoeing to get its aim. I was shocked to see how sensible it was. This made me realize animals too are wise and smart, just like human beings. They know what they want from what they do not want. They can easily attack their prey if they aim well and they don't give up, especially the Lions when they are hungry. Suddenly, it pounced on the baby buffalo and other lions came out to start taking their shares.
The Buffalos came around in groups to see what the lions were eating. When they saw they had killed one of their babies, they got angry and started locking their horns and scaring the lions away. I can see they were bitter because of what they did
Animals too are caring and empathetic just like we human beings. They know how to protect themselves from others and would do anything to keep them safe.
I felt for the buffalos because I could feel the pain in them. One of them was killed and they had to fight back. They went in groups to attack the lions in their territory. I believe they must have held a short meeting to attack the lions for what they did to one of them.
The big buffalos were leading while the small ones followed behind to meet with the lions. Even though the Lion is the king of the jungle, there are some animals they are scared of, among them is the Elephant.
If I were to listen to them, they would be confronting the lions on why they had to kill one of them and a lion would speak up and say
*"Your baby came to meet us and was looking for trouble and we decided to teach him a lesson"*
*"But you could have scared him away, instead of eating him up. This is unfair! You killed a baby just coming into the world and you think you will go scot free?"* Said the big buffalo
*"Get ready for a battle because we won't accept it until we get revenge".*
The Buffalos went and came back ready to attack.
I love how they took the matter. They got hold of a baby lion and killed it too with the lions looking at them from afar because they couldn't do anything.
Seriously, in the animal kingdom, they are smart and are caring to their families. There are lessons to learn from animals when you watch them attentively and I did yesterday with the actions of the Lions and Buffalos.
I was able to see other kinds of animals I have never seen before. This made me watch another documentary on YouTube. The buffalo was attacked by a group of lions and they struggled to bring it down. The buffalo really tried even when it was surrounded by its enemies. They pounced on the buffalo and had no one to save it. Then another buffalo came around to see if it could try to save it but couldn't. It went back and a few minutes later, the elephants came in groups and scared the lions away but it was too late as they had already knocked the buffalo down. The elephants pursued the Lions away.
There is unity in the animal world and they watch out for each other even though they end up killing themselves for food. The animals can only eat themselves when they are hungry and so, this made it easier to hunt and kill their prey.
Perhaps I didn't narrate this clearly, especially to those who love watching animals, but I only tried explaining what I saw in my own way. So, if you didn't enjoy it, let me know in the comment section. 😁
Thank you for reading
[April 30, 2022] (No 120 article for the year) https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/a-rich-in-heart-lady-f66c945d#april-24-2022-no-114-article-for-the-year
An Unexpected Day
*“When you have a bad day, a really bad day, try and treat the world better than it treated you.”*
-Patrick Stump https://www.semidelicatebalance.com/quotes-about-bad-days/
One thing I dislike most is not been informed earlier of a particular task, I will turn it down instantly because I have my own plans too and I would have made a plan of how it should go, and if you think you can just disrupt my plans and add yours, just be praying I accept because it will be something else. I love being informed even before the day so I can also add it to my plan and everything will go smoothly and not in a rush moment. Yesterday was a frustrating one, but I decided to do it because no one else was willing to do it and besides, he begged me because I would do it perfectly being a mature lady in the house.
I woke up yesterday and did everything I needed to do, from family devotion to my personal prayer, I brushed my teeth, and my siblings already prepared breakfast. There aren't always many things to do in the morning since we only prepare pap for grandma and Dad while the rest of us eat the remaining food left the previous night.
I met my cousins and sister trying to prepare something else for themselves and trying to take advantage of the soup at home, I refused and told them they won't use the soup because we were planning to use for dinner, and these children do not know how to manage food.
Most times they waste food and ever since I came, I have been limiting the amount of food they eat. One of my cousins´ food can be up to three people´s meal and he would eat, not minding what the economy is saying. They do not consider my grandma at all and they are not happy with my rules in the house. In fact, they want me to leave so they can keep consuming food as if there wouldn´t be tomorrow. I don´t like such life at all. There is much food in the house doesn´t mean you should consume and waste. Those sending the money aren´t fools and they are working hard for the money being sent to grandma.
I had planned to cover up many things online and also to make my posts on time so I can have enough rest. My Dad celebrated his birthday yesterday and he never disclosed to me of his plans. In fact, I only saw him very early in the morning as he was going to the bathroom while I was going for the morning devotion in Mama's room at 6am and I greeted him, he still didn't say anything, perhaps I would have readjusted the plans to satisfy him. Since then, I haven´t set my eyes on him as he went out that morning without joining us in prayer.
I was busy writing my post then when I heard the sound of the bike which carried him and with him, was a live chicken and I was confused and assumed he wanted to mark his day with his family, at least that won´t be any problem on my side.
As he entered inside, he called me and informed me that there are five of his friends coming to celebrate with him and I should start preparing on how to cook some food for them with the chicken. At that moment, I was boiling and wanted to say something. I had to caution myself even though he knew I was sad and angry. In fact, I declined and told my cousin to go and prepare everything because I won't have any hand in it. I am already angry at my Dad since I came because of his behavior especially to mama, and I decided not to do anything with him until he settles things with his mom. That is another story though, I don't want to digress.
My cousin begged me to do what he wanted. What angers me most was that he didn't even inform his own mom and he was just explaining everything yesterday. My grandma decided not to talk but to accept his request. That was how my plans were thwarted as I was running up and down, preparing white rice with stew, killing and boiling the chicken took time though but with the help of my cousin and sister, we prepared the food. It took us four hours to finish everything and when the guests came around, we served everyone and we also ate.
I was so tired that I couldn't do anything online. I had wanted to force myself to reply to all posts in the Ecotrain community on Hive, but my eyes were hurting, plus the network started misbehaving. Yesterday was a frustrating one especially with the network bringing emergency for thirty minutes and I couldn't even do anything on my phone.
I had a lot to do yesterday, but because of how everything went, it spoiled and I had to deprive myself of sleep and did all I wanted to do until late in the midnight. At least I was able to reach my target, but my body and eyes suffered for it.
Things I would have done bit by bit till I finish turned to what I hurriedly did, and it affected my body and eyes just because of some unexpected plans. Though I thank God because He is alive to mark his birthday in a little way.
My junior sister finished her NYSC yesterday and I am so happy for her. A year's journey in a strange land has come to an end and it has been God all the way. This month is surely a blessed one for her because she will be celebrating her birthday tomorrow while my junior brother ́s birthday is today.
Every year, we are always happy because April is a month where three people are always celebrating their birthdays. My Dad, and my two siblings. Thank God for their lives too. I just hope nobody spoils my plan with an unexpected and unprepared ones because I have things to do for myself too.
Thanks for reading from me again
Image by Kinga on unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/ppWX6_Z1-Qo
[April 29, 2022] (No 119 article for the year)
https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/a-rich-in-heart-lady-f66c945d#april-24-2022-no-114-article-for-the-year
@Princessbusayo
