How to improve ourselves? (III)

"To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals".

Michael Bassey Johnson

I left my hometown for another state yesterday and it was a stressful journey for me. I wasn't able to visit articles, only a few. I will try my best today God willingly.

For two days now, I have started a series on how to improve ourselves and I am so grateful for all your comments. It is because of you guys, I am getting better and trying to work on my writing too because I wouldn't want to give out a meaningless article but something we all would learn from.

If you missed the first two parts of the series, you can just click the links. I promise, they are worth reading and you will enjoy them.

How to improve ourselves?

How to improve ourselves? (II)

So for today's segment, it would be;

Make yourself your best friend and stay away from negative people.

What makes you happy and inspired? Is it not the positive thoughts you fill your mind with? Is it not the beautiful things and compliments you keep hearing every day? Positive words lift your soul while negative ones bring you down. There wouldn't be inspiration when all you have occupied your mind with is negative words and being around shallow minded people.

You are a writer and you need someone to check what you write and the only thing you hear is that "you write woefully" how would you feel? Even though you know you made your research well and did your best. Just like the story I gave yesterday, the painter could have just listened to his heart which I would call "his best friend" rather than listening to the opinions of people who went about spoiling his creativity and couldn't help. These are, of course, negative people standing in your way.

Your heart should be your best friend because it will not disappoint you only if you do not want it to. Your heart may be saying something but because you are doubting your ability, you went ahead to seek people's validation and being the negative ones, they pull you down with bad words and make you see yourself as nothing.

Two hours spent with a toxic or negative individual might be worse than thirty minutes listening to your favourite programs. Why is this so? You will gain and learn a lot from the program than wasting your precious two hours listening to the irrelevant talk.

Mind you, negative people find their ways sugarcoating words to you and making you feel like you are enjoying it but they are trying to weigh you down and see you as someone who isn't time conscious on important things.

You are your own best friend. No one would be willing to help you or speak positive words to you except for those who truly care just like I said yesterday.

Negative people are toxic ones who do not have any other business but to utter words of doubt, and pain and make you hurt yourself.

I know there are negative people around me but many times, I go to them just to hear them. This will in a way help me know the true ones who want the best for me. I believe many of us do this sometimes. You already know within you that you did the best work but you just want to hear from other people to see where you'd class or rank them.

To try something, write number six and show it to someone upside down, you know it is six you have written but you just want to play along to know if they aren't trying to stop you. They will insist it is not six and try finding ways to justify their claims and in the end, would make you want to change your mind to believe it is not what you wrote.

You see, people are ready to justify their claims with negativity thereby making you feel bad and unsure about yourself.

In this case, the only person you should listen to is your heart - your best friend.

Even the person you call your best friend would try to say otherwise leaving you to be confused if what you are trying to do is right or wrong. This is in no way ignoring the fact that you should seek advice because we all need it but when your heart is making you see it as if it's the right thing which they are making wrong for you, ignore them and follow your heart.

How do you stay away from negative people?

Remember they are also toxic people and if you aren't quick to disengage from them, they will successfully finish their aims on you.

Make time for your best friend and guard it. Stop wasting your time unnecessarily when you have a lot to do. They give excuses and reasons why you should stay when you know what you have on your desk. You should know when to have fun from working on a deadline.

Choose your attitude. The best way to ruin your mood is to allow negative people in your life. When you give room for these kinds of people, pessimistic ones to dictate your emotions, they would have full power over you. Learn to change your attitude by spending time more on people you know would make your day productive and ignore the bad egg in your basket.

Refocus your thoughts. When you keep thinking, dreading, and fretting about what other people would say concerning your work, it will spoil your moment and make it an unproductive one for you, instead redirect your focus to positive thoughts by believing in what you can offer and how you can monopolize your time.

To be continued...

Thanks for reading

Image by Ben White on Unsplash designed on Canva

[May 17, 2022] (No 137 article for the year)