The Hard Way.
Life is full of lessons and life never stops teaching. We keep learning from every angle but our heart needs to be open to learning. There are so many things we can learn from life and as long as we are living, we can't help but keep learning, whether we like it or not. Sometimes it would be forced on us and often we will see that lesson embedded in little or major things. Most people don't take kindly to the lessons especially when it's forced on them which is why we need to be open to learning.
We cannot do without making mistakes and we can't go back to make a brand new start but the best we can do is minimize those errors. It took me too long to realize that life is not for those that just want to sit back and expect everything to fall for them. Life won't give you what you think you deserved but what you demand. If you don't step out of your comfort zone and plan your life, life will plan it for you just as you have chosen and it would be painful.
I took a lesson from what my mother went through when dad passed away and in as much as women rely so much on their husbands to get things done for them, I think they should insist on having things done for themselves. Of course, it's subject to the available resources you have but with planning, you can get things done so you can plan for the future when the unexpected happens. My mother wasn't working but she is into selling drinks just to pass the time. I am sure if she took it seriously as a major source of income, she would have been able to stand on her own when Dad passed away. So, she wasn't doing it for money but just to have something to engage herself with so she can afford the basic things without necessarily waiting for my dad.
When dad passed away, it hit her deep that she had nothing much to fall back on. You know when you have allowed your head not to think of anything serious, it's always hard to force it to act with urgency due to desperation. Let's be serious, it doesn't matter if you are a woman, please have something productive you can do. Don't you wait for any man to give you a hand down. Whenever you have someone kind enough to help you, make sure you don't waste that opportunity, do something productive with it because nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today.
Most people think there would always be an unending flow of resources that would come their way just because they have been opportune enough to have someone to help out at a time. It takes due diligence and planning to be able to get things done for the future but the sad reality is that most people are shortsighted. They think of now - the present alone and leaving their future to chance.
Don't go with the belief in the world that only the man should be the one getting things done for you and this is why independent women would always be attractive to any reasonable guy. I love having my female friends have something going on for them because nothing is certain in this life except death and taxes. Most people squander whatever is given to them which makes it difficult for them to cope going forward. You know when you have been used to a certain way of life or assumed the laid back approach, it is never easy to kick into gear and get things running.
We live in a world where everyone believes the man must be in charge of keeping the family together with finance while the woman should be domesticated. Life has progressed from that and I hope a lot of people can see that. It's about helping one another to become better...it shouldn't be about gender. I got to understand that life can happen without warning. A lot can come crashing down in a minute and a lot can get built up faster, with consistent effort. It takes a lot to build but it's easy to crash things.
There are things we don't want but because we don't want them doesn't mean they won't happen to you. You can only hope for the best but like the popular song by Jay Z "Forever Young", make sure you also expect the worst as you keep hoping and dreaming. It's not a curse, it's just the way life is.
Don't spend everything you have but you have to save for the rainy days as the ants would. The ants would gather enough to save up so when the rain starts, they feed on what they had stored up because they have the basic understanding that it won't always rain and they are not lazy to work. If your worth as a human is what we can see on your dressing, then something is wrong somewhere. Stop spending what you have in hope of what hasn't come yet... If you cannot afford anything, avoid it...loud, clear and simple.
This isn't just about the female but about everyone. We need to think with the future at the back of our minds. Think ahead, prioritize the welfare of your family and make sure you set them up nicely with investments that would always yield whether you are there or not. It won't be easy but once you know it's what you want to work towards, it makes it easier to avoid some excesses.
Thank you for your time.
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