Reconnected Once Again
Once again, I was inactive for a month both at Read and Noise. Writing articles here in Read is seasonal for me. There were days that I can write daily and every other day, but most of the time I can't. I always had a month interval on my published articles. Honestly, I find it fascinating that people can consistently write something worthy in a day to day basis. I guess they are really into writing or their life might be interesting and worth sharing.
There are a lot of things, happenings and feelings that I wanted to write and share for the past days, but I just can't find the right words or even construct the sentences that will accurately described everything. I supposed to write this on the 1st day of March, but took me quite a while to do so.
Like what the title suggest "Reconnected", It's simply about being reunited with my old friends/former officemates and as well as being back into writing again. I wanted to share also some of significant things that happened recently, and I did for the past weeks.
I am a Godmother 🥂
Since the start of lockdown that happened last March 2020, I haven't seen any of my officemates(now former officemates)in personal. We were in a work from home setup so we do meetings virtually. Even after losing my job, We weren't able to meet. It's just recently when I was able to meet two of my closest friends (Ms. Yonnee and Gelo my former officemates). I was invited to become a Godmother to Ms. Yonnee's daughter and last March 1 was the Christening Day of my Goddaughter.
It was a fine and solemn day. Only few of us were at the Church. After the Christening Ceremony, we ate an unlimited grilled meat and shabu-shabu, and went to a Coffee Shop nearby. We have so much of catching up to do's, 2 years is quite long. We talked about alot of personal things, about life, lovelife, work and plans.
*I also made a personalized gift to my cute goddaughter.*
Joining An Art Exhibit
I guess, one of the dreams of an Artist is to have their own Art Exhibit. As a self-proclaimed Artist I am dreaming of it also. As of now I am still far from achieving that dream, but I already started taking a small steps towards that goal by joining a group Art Exhibit.
A High School batchmate invited me to join a Group Art Exhibit to be held next month. I did not hesitate to join. Being part of an Art Exhibit is already a big opportunity for small artist like me. It's a great exposure and experience as well to be sorrounded by some Professional Artists. I've only paid P350(7$) for the participation fee and I can submit upto two paintings. The Gallery Curator will promote my paintings. Every sold paintings they will have a 30% share of the price.
The deadline of the submission of paintings will be on March 28,2022. I hope I'll be able to finish my paintings before that. I can't wait to share and write my experiences about this event. I will make a separate article about this particular journey.
Job Hunting Days
I've mentioned about it before, that one of my plans is to start applying for a corporate job. Last month and for the past days I started applying in different companies. For weeks of applying, I haven't receive any call or interview invitation yet. At first, it made me sad coz I feel like I wasn't given a chance to prove myself. I even received 2 rejection messages, so I was not able to advance into interview stages.
For a moment I did regret not looking for a job earlier, I should have done it last year. But then, I realized that everything that happened is part of a big and better plan. Our ways will not always work most of the time but God's way and plans will never disappoint us.
I just can't wait to share some good news. I am just so glad that everything is now started to go as planned.
It feels so good to be back here. I'll try to be more interactive from time to time.
*Lead Image from Unsplash*
She Disliked Me For Asking "Why"
*I'm back again. Hello there!*
*I can't do the daily writings and being here actively, aside from it's hard to think of topic I also don't have much time to write articles. I decided not to force myself to do it, but instead I'll just write whenever I feel and want to.*
This is some random thoughts I had last few days ago while having a quick break after making some crafts, but wasn't able to finish writing due to some commissioned works.
What have you felt whenever someone you know unexpectedly sent you a message and asked, "*How Are You?*"?
What are you going to reply?
Does it make you feel good?
Do you find it comforting and consoling?
Or is it something unusual to hear that you don't know what to react or say?
I remember an incident a decade ago. Tho it happened a long time ago, still It's unforgettable 'coz I unintentionally did something bad (tho I don't think that's terrible) to someone, and I think she was hurt and disliked me after that.
***~Flashback***...
There was this girl, a Collegemate. Let me name her as "M". She's my sister's blockmate, I usually hang-out with my sister during break time, since we are studying in the same College (different course and department) and I often seen this girl. She's a bit friendly and will initiate a conversation with me, and I will timidly answer. She's kind but she's not my friend, just an acquaintance. I don't have any business with her since I was not her blockmate so I guess there's no reason for us to talk with each other often.
Months passed.
Unexpectedly, I received a text message from an unknown number asking me, "*How Are You?*".
I replied back asking who is he/she.
She replied that she's "M". I am actually wondering how did she got my number but I didn't asked her. I don't know what to reply to her message. I don't always receive that kind of message, No one asked me "How Am I". None of my friends will check on me and I am not expecting anyone to do that. Being an overthinker I thought she needed something or what, so instead of saying "I am fine" and asking how she is, I asked her "Ahhh, okay. Why?". I didn't know that she was offended until my sister told me. My sister gave her my cellphone number 'coz "M" just simply wanted to know if I'm doing okay. She just want to say hello and probably like to have a chat with me. My sister scolded me and told me that "M" was a soft-hearted person and probably got hurt with my reply.
***End of Flashback~***
It was never my intention to offend "M" or even hurt her. I think my answer is a typical answer whenever we receive an unexpected call. We sometimes asked the caller, "What's up? Why did you call?" Or in Filipino language *"Anong Meron? Bakit napatawag ka?"* Okay, I'm just trying to justify my answer.
Just to make it clear, I am an introvert person and an overthinker. I don't make friends easily. I am quiet and shy. I will not start a conversation to someone even with my closest friends. Even upto now, I don't usually interact with people virtually. Receiving messages from someone scares me, and It took me some time to reply. We haven't talk after that and I didn't apologize either. I'm still firm at my stand that I didn't do anything wrong and this is just pure misunderstanding, but I wasn't able to explain myself 'coz she won't talk to me anymore.
That happened a long long time ago and I learned from that incident. Now, receiving that kind of message from time to time feels good, 'coz to be remembered is a good thing, but interaction still isn't my thing. I'm only up to 3 replies, 5 is already exhausting.
*Lead Image from Unsplash*
How it All Started: My Arts&Crafts Business
*Starting my own small business was the biggest decision I did last year. I am excited and anxious at the same time. It's really my plan last 2020 to start selling my arts/crafts, since I found my new hobbies back then but it got delayed for a year due to some personal matters, that's why it only happened last year.*
When the lockdown took place in 2020, Our Company opted for a Work From Home Set Up. I was just at home working using my sister's laptop (coz the company only provide limited numbers of laptop/PC for us). It's really hard at first because it's a new experience to me, there are alot of factors that can affect your working efficiency. Like, poor Internet Connection; sudden power-outrage; and slowness of laptop due to heavy files that i need to open. Those are just mostly some of my dillemas during my working time.
I had some stressful working days and arts/painting/drawing helped me to relax. I made the most artworks during that year and I also found my new hobbies, which are Sewing and Resin Crafting.
Sewing Canvas Tote Bags
I got an idea to sew my own canvas tote bag while doing some painting on a canvas bag i bought in the past. It made me buy a mini portable sewing machine so I can try and experience sewing.
*Actually, I have a background in sewing since both of my Mom and Grandma used to work in a Dress Shop/Garments Factory, i love watching my Mom sewing curtains, our own clothes and stuffs.*
I also bought canvas fabrics, tape measure, pins, thread and extra needles. My first mini sewing machine was worth P200plus only (4$+) it was really small and looks like a toy. I was able to use it for months before it stopped working. Next, I've bought a new mini sewing machine that was worth P1.3K(26$+). I made my first few bags, that I've used personally. I feel like I am ready to sell my bags, but my fear was bigger than my courage so I didn't do it in 2020.
After losing my job, I've upgraded to a much better sewing machine. I invested around P10,500 (210$) for a new sewing machine. It's convenient to use and much easier for me to sew.
Resin Crafting
It all started out of curiosity, on how it feels like to do resin crafting. I got hooked at watching different videos about Resin, it's mesmerizing to watch so I wanted to know if it's the same if i'll be the one doing it. My first resin craft is Resin Palette. The intention is to just make a resin palette myself so I bought a moulder, epoxy resin and dried flowers, but I found myself enjoying it so much that it made me buy other stuffs too. I've bought a letter moulders and some materials for keychain making.
I stopped making crafts and sewing bags for a while. I don't have much time to do all those things while working at home since I am always rendering overtime. Instead, I go back to paintings and drawing again.
Months had passed, then afterwards I lose my job. It made me realized that maybe this is the sign or my chance to finally do what I was not able to do back in 2020.
I made a plan again, on what products to offer. I decided to sell resin crafts first before the canvas tote bags. I invested in additional resin crafts materials as well as in the packaging that i will be using. Everything was almost ready except myself. I hesitated again, I got really scared. It took me a couple months of contemplating before I finally able to start my plans. It was almost end of November 2021 when I started with my Arts&Crafts business.
Everything started from just a simple hobby or escape whenever i feel stressed. After all the delays and hesitations, I never imagine that I'll be able to continue my plans and make it happen. I am thankful to one of the youtube video I came across while scrolling for some yt tutorials before. His words gave me a subtle push to start taking action. I think, everything that happened was part of my journey and it all perfectly in time. I wasn't late nor early, it happened the way it should be. On my next article I'll share the current status of my arts&craft business.
***Lead Image edited in Canva***
***Own Images Used***
Writing My Life's Aspirations
I realized that for the past months I am being complacent. There are things that i need to do but I am not so eager to do it, even though the situation is already telling me that I should.
For that, I regretted some things and decisions that I made. I know it isn't the time to regret anything or blame myself for those wrong choices 'coz there are more important things that I should alot my energy with, but still I can't help myself on thinking and asking why and where did it started to go wrong.
Right now, I feel like that I am stucked again. I don't know where is the right direction I should be heading to. I suddenly got scared on the idea of not going any further despite on my attempt to keep moving.
Therefore, it's now the time to put everything into writing so I have something to read as my guide. So whenever I am feeling hopeless and scared I will go back here to remind myself of why I should keep going. You can call it as my aspirations, dreams or goals right now, things that I wanted to achieve and pursue currently in this life.
To have a Regular Job
After 6 months of being unemployed I think I already had enough rest and now is the time for job hunting again, before it's too late. I never really thought that I'll be doing it again since It's not part of my plan to work in a corporate world again. I've been telling myself that I should just continue working on my arts/crafts business, even though I know my earnings from there will not be enough to cover my monthly expenses. I should be practical and to do that I need a regular income to cover all my expenses at the same time will help me pay for my government dues like SSS, Philhealth, PAGIBIG, and a HMO on top of that.
Basically, I am back to square 1 again. This is the first thing I should achieve right now, A regular job in a established Company that will not just help me financially but will also appreciate my works and effort. I hope I'll find it soon,'coz this is my starting point.
To have a Successful Arts/Crafts Business
Every business owners are dreaming of having a sucessful business when they started. That's always the goal, to be successful and it's the same for me. My Arts/crafts business is still far from being successful but i know it will be one day. I think, I already has a good start, because I am getting positive feedbacks from my crafts. I am not getting tons of orders but It's not zero sales either.
The problems could be lack in promotions, I am not active in promoting my business. I have a limited products to offer that's why I also have a limited audience. I will work on broadening the range of my crafts and make promotions as well to reach more clients. Those are the things that I have in mind. I will work on those things one at a time.
To add a New Investment and Life and Health Insurance Policy
Once I have a stable income it's now time to make an additional investment, not additional Expenses. I think this is one of the mistakes we mostly did whenever our income increases, instead of investing and making additional income we are adding more expenses (lifestyle inflation). I wanted to make new investments in crypto, stocks and real-estate.
I also want to avail a new Policies for Health and Life Insurance. I wanted to be prepared for the worst, and having an Investment will not be enough. I don't want to be a burden to my family, I don't want them to worry financially when I get sick or worst died.
**To have my Dream House**
My sister and I condo unit is my first property under my name. It's special to us since it's our first time to have a home and a room of our own. But still, I am hoping to have a House too. Having a house and lot hits different. It doesn't necessarily to be big. It can be small at first then have it renovated.
I'll have a much wider working and arts/crafts space. I'll decorate and paint the wall. Plant different plants and flowers in the garden. I'll make a DIY cabinets and other furnitures. I'll buy appliances one at a time, and build a happy home with my future family.
I am far from making it happen but I know everything will fall in place, it may not happen soon but it will someday.
Writing these made me motivated, so whenever I feel weak and giving up I'll make sure to come back here and read this article all over again. My Goals are not limited to these, it can change or I could add more. For now, these are the things that I should prioritize doing.
I also try to write on a daily basis. It's a challenge that I will take on this month.
***Lead Image from Unsplash***
Influencing My Sister to be Financially Prepared
In my old article I've discussed about what made me decide to get a Life Insurance. I've also shared about the Investment that's included in the Insurance Policy that I've availed. You may check it if you haven't read it yet, tho it's not necessary coz you will still be able to understand my article today since they are not totally connected. https://read.cash/@MisakiLhaine/what-push-me-to-be-insured-3d538cef
Our Financial Set-Up
Normally in the family, there are not much expectation from the youngest when it comes to financial support. It's always the burden or responsibility rather by the eldest to help in providing the needs of the family, specifically if the parents are no longer working. In my case, I am the youngest but my elder sister and I are helping each other to sustain our daily living expenses. My 2 eldest brother are not living with us for years now, one has his own family and the other decided to live in our province, while my Dad doesn't have a job anymore.
My sister and I now hold the responsibility to provide for the 3 of us. As we started to work years before, our combined salary was not that much. It would only suffice for our food, transpo, utility and rent expenses. As the time our income increased, our expenses as well increased coz we decided to purchase a pre-selling condo unit. We've experienced different financial difficulties because of some unexpected situations and also because we'd lack of financial planning.
A New Perspective
Experiencing challenges and difficulties back then had made me better. It made me realized the importance of financial preparedness. I wanted to be and my family financially prepared when something unexpected happens again.
At the time that I got my Insurance and Investment Policy, I told about it to my sister. I shared and discussed to her what I've learned and realized that made me apply for an Insurance. I also convinced her to get one someday. I feel that she's trying to comprehend everything but she cannot totally absorb what I've said because she's not yet interested. We have are own personal expenses, She paid her own bills and I paid mine. I completely understand the situation that as of the moment she can't afford to have an another expense.
The Right Time
Year 2018 when I got my Insurance and Investment Policy. I always remind my sister to get her own too whenever I got the chance or whenever I remember it. I always told her that we are not getting any younger and we will not be forever healthy, but she still not ready yet.
Last year, she resigned and applied for a new job. Gladly, she was able to get a better career and opportunity. She's receiving more benefits and compensation. Before she turned 31 y/o last November 2021, I asked her again to consider getting an Insurance Policy. She seems to be interested compare from few years ago. I told her that I'll contact my Financial Advisor whenever she decided already.
Few weeks ago, I asked my sister once again. Finally, she's now ready to get an Insurance and Investment Policy. I immediately contacted my FA, then he send me a Sample Policy Proposal based on the amount of premium my sister can pay. I have some knowledge and understanding of the Investment and Insurance Policy so I discussed to my sister all the things that I knew, so whatever question she has she can ask it during the zoom meeting with the Financial Advisor.
My FA scheduled a zoom meeting, I am also present during the meeting so I can also learn something new. I takes us almost 2 hours, but it's worthy and informative presentation. The FA really helps my sister to utilize her premium payments. My sister's policy is now approved and she started paying the 1st 3 months premium payments. She opted to a quarterly payment of P9k (P36K annually that is equivalent to 700$ per year). Her premium payment is higher than mine because it cover much benefits. But you know what, if you are the same age of my sister you can get a basic Life Insurance for P19k only per year and that will be P1.5k (29.20$)per month. If you are a bit younger you can avail at much lower cost. Honestly, her policy is more better than mine, it covers alot of benefits and investment is included as well. I am planning to avail an additional policy once I'll have a regular job again.
I am happy that I was able to help my sister to be prepared financially. She'll now have an investment that she can use for her future, whether it's for retirement or for other purpose and a Health and Life Insurance on top of that. Life is short, we will never know what will happen tomorrow so we should always be ready at all times. The older we get the higher the Insurance Premium Payment is, so if you have the means to get an Insurance, do it now. Like what the Financial Advisor usually say, the best time to get an Insurance is Now.
Coping Up With Losing A Job
Ever since the pandemic started these news were not new to us:
Full capacity in majority of the hospital due to increasing number of Covid cases. Rapid growth in death counts whether the cause is Covid or other health issues. Hearing that a family of our closed friend died. Some businesses or small company started to close down permanently. Some Company started to redundated some of their employee to reduce the company's expenses.
Unfortunately, I was one of the casualty. I lost my job last June 2021.
I Was Redundated
One fine day, before the start of my shift I got a call from my Supervisor. She told me that our Manager will be setting a zoom meeting. She didn't mention the details but somehow I already has a hint on what to expect on the said meeting.
The time has come, Our Manager announced that all employees working for 4 years and below will be redundated. I am working for 4years and 2 months that's why I am included. I don't know what to react or what to feel. It won't sink in yet that I don't have a job now. Wanna know what was the first thing I did after I was told that I lost my job? I watched a korean drama. Haha Seriously, since I have not totally absorb everything that happened I let myself enjoy the rest of the day.
The next few days were the hardest. I was in the in denial stage. Thinking that probably it's all just a dream. Telling myself that I was an outstanding employee, they wouldn't dare to remove me from the office, but they did.
I was so tired everyday even without doing anything. I am sleeping, watching and eating all day. I am enjoying the days but at the same time i am worrying about my future. I am worried but I am not doing any plans at all. Then one day, I told myself that I don't want this kind of setup any longer. I needed to start doing something progressive.
The 2 Steps I did to cope up with losing my job
Before I started on making a change, The first that i did was to search in google what to do after losing a job. I wasn't expecting that there are really steps or things that need to be done in order to move on or accept the fact that you are no longer needed. Haha I read everything, and while reading I somehow felt relieved and comforted. I also had an understanding on what to do next, that's why I did make my own steps.
Step 1: Feel Bad, Pity yourself, then realize your worth.
It may sound brutal but this step was necessary for me. I needed to let out my emotions, what I really feel and so on. I pity myself for being not needed despite the fact that I was an outstanding employee. I feel bad for the days that I rendered overtime even without pay. I pity myself for the times that I am too hard on myself for some minimal mistakes that I did. I feel bad about myself for trying everything I could, but then all my effort was not appreciated. Thinking about those things made me realize that I am worthy, so I deserve better. I am glad that finally I realized that.
Step 2: After realizing your value, make yourself feel good. Pursue your Passion!
After realizing my worth. I made myself feel good by doing what I most love to do. Yes, it's arts and crafts. I started pursuing my passion in arts and crafts, coz at last I had plenty of time to do it. I am enjoying my days so much, that I am no longer affected about the fact that I was redundated from work. In short, I'd moved on.
I just want to tell you, that whatever it is that you want to do that will make you happy, do it. You already been through alot so it's the time to reward yourself. Discover your skills and talent, be Spontaneous and Explore! Try something different and when you are done, go back to track again and start planning your next steps. Whether it's applying for a new corporate job again or starting up your own business. Whatever it maybe I know you will succeed.
***Remember:***
***You are worthy and needed, if the situation says otherwise then you are in the wrong place. Go find your proper place.***
*Lead Image from Unsplash*
Where Was I?
Hello read.cash community. It's been almost 2 months since i last published an article.
I don't know if Rusty will still remember me. I hope he will, but it's still okay if not.
So, where was I for the past month, weeks and days?
I was inactive here but not in noise.cash. If you are one of my followers/subscribers (@obscurebox) you'll probably knew what I am upto for the past weeks.
I think I've mentioned about it before in one of my articles, that I started with my arts and crafts business. Yes, Finally I started selling my crafts.
It was not really my plan and intention to sell resin crafts. I love the process of resin crafting, but selling the crafts was not my priority. I guess, God had a different plan for me.
From Initial plan of selling handpainted tote bags, I found myself making customized resin crafts first. I started investing in different moulders, epoxy resins and other needed materials for resin crafting. I incurred alot of expenses but that's totally fine since it's part of the journey. I received orders every week and every other week, and honestly I am not earning much but I am happy that I am able to share my crafts. I am more than happy knowing that I am currently doing what I love to do and for now that's enough to keep going. I hope in another article I can elaborate the crafts that I made.
Making Handpainted canvas tote bags was the plan since 2020. I invested in different sewing machines way back then, from mini portable machine and now I currently have a Singer Fashionmate portable sewing machine which is more better in sewing thick fabric like canvas. The plan was delayed, I wasn't that confident with my stitches. After I launched my resin crafts, I got the confidence to finally release my tote bags. I made 3 handpainted designs and I am so glad that I was able to sell 3 bags. 3 person trusted me and bought my tote bags that's a great achievement for someone like me.
Right now, my arts/crafts business is not like other businesses who are getting orders daily. Even if i am not getting orders regularly, I am still quite busy exploring and improving myself in arts and crafting (busy in daydreaming as well), and that's one of the reason why I stopped writing. I am focusing more on my crafts and passion (on something that I am good at). I am also weighing things, figuring out my future and my plans ahead.
I am trying to make the most out of everyday, tho sometimes I am not at my best everyday.
I am writing this to remind myself that it's okay to take a break from the things that wasn't our priority. Writing may not for me but I'll still try to do it if I'll get the chance.
So again, Where Was I?
I was busy figuring out life. 😉
*Lead Image from Unsplash*
Exactly 13 years
*An open letter to my Mom.*
*I will no longer ask how are you, coz I know you are in a better and perfect place already.*
*It's supposed to be your 59th Birthday here in earth if you're still with us. Now, we are remembering this day as your birth to heaven.*
*There's a lot of things I want to share with you, like the usual chatting we have everytime i went home from school. Telling stories of how great and ugly my days are. You always asked me "how are you?".*
*If you are asking me that today this would be my answer:*
*I am crying now coz I miss you badly. I don't know if I'm okay but I'm trying my best to be feeling great everyday. There are times that I felt disappointed about myself but there are also times that I am feeling proud of me.*
*I cried few days ago coz my phone was having issues again. You know how petty and crybaby I am and until now still I am.*
*I don't know if you will like it, but I am pursuing arts for months now. I did not apply for a new work after losing a job. Do you think I made a right choice?*
*I am currently figuring out my life. What's fit for me, what i like and the things I enjoy to do. I don't know if you'll support me, but knowing how great mom you are, you must be feeling proud of me too.*
*Remember how you laughed at me for having floppy stitches whenever you're teaching me to stitch? Mom, i am sewing bags now and I am starting on selling them. You've never imagine that, right? I never thought of it too, that I will enjoy sewing. You know how I hated sewing coz you always compare me with my sister, that she have better stitches than mine. I told you, once I work hard for things I can definitely make it. Besides, we have a better technology now that's makes sewing easier. We could have our own shop if you were here.*
*Remember how you wish for my collarbone to disappear? You wish for me to gain weight, coz maybe you felt bad seeing me so thin. Did you talk to God about that? I've gained alot of weight. I am bigger and taller now than my Older sister. My collarbone was no longer visible it was long gone and it will not coming back anytime soon.*
*How do you take care of plants? How do you manage to do that? My Sister and I bought plants few months ago. You know what, almost all died in just a month. We bought those plants because we remember how much you love plants. We will try to have plants again and this time we will work really hard to take care of them.*
*We are currently living in the condo unit my sister and I bought years ago. It's already in my name but we are still paying the bank for the loan. We have separate room now, you know how we wish to have our own space. Are you happy about that? Everyone is saying you are probably proud and happy for us. I really hope you are. It should be a house if you are still here.*
*I finally started selling my arts/crafts few days ago. You know I've been planning this for a year now. I contemplated alot before coming with this decision. At first, I am nervous that probably no one will like it but I got orders Mom! Some closed people bought my works and they are all happy with my arts/crafts. I cried last night because of joy. Their feedbacks and kind words made me so happy.*
*I may not have much accomplishments now, but atleast i had you. Having a mom like you made me who I am today. Stronger, loving, caring, chaser and a dreamer. You are part of my whole being. I haven't told you this before, but THANK YOU! Thank you for being my mom. Thank you for trying with best of your ability to be the best mom for us. You are more than enough and I love you so much. May we meet again in another life.*
A/N: I've been busy for more than a week now. I've lots of drafts but can't find the will to continue writing. Honestly, I am demotivated lately to write. I feel like it's not going any further that I might be probably wasting some time here.
I decided to focus more on arts, but I realized wait a second I am already used at having minimal views, readers or likes. My artpage is like that too, but despite of that i never stop making crafts. Why would i stop doing the things that made me so happy? I have some lapses at writing but I know I am doing better. It's not about I'm lacking but probably because I am not reaching the right audience or people that can wholeheartedly appreciate my works.
I will not stop again, I may not publish an article daily but I make sure to create a worthy one. It's quality over quantity.
Thank you for reading this!
*Lead Image from Unsplash*
It's been days since I last published an article. I been doing other things lately that's why it's hard for me to write about things or stuffs now. Sometimes I felt unmotivated to write too. I wish I can be much active again in writing here in read as well as reading and commenting on your articles. Sorry for not visiting for days now. Hopefully I could publish something tomorrow. Have a great night to all! Stay safe and healthy always.
Helicopter Ride Part 1
Finally, I've finished this article. It's almost 2 months old in my drafts. I've been meaning to share this story of mine since I started writing here, coz I've realized some important things because of this experience.
*Are you willing to pay for a helicopter ride? If not, What about if it's free? Will you take the chance and overcome your fear?*
Raffle Prize
Christmas Season is the most anticipated holiday by the kids. It's the month of giving as they say. It's not just the kids who are excited for Christmas but adults as well. We are excited for our christmas basket, bonuses, 13th month pay, christmas/year end parties and (*drum roll)* Christmas raffle! The first 4 that I've mentioned were expected to receive or happen, so there's not much thrill about it. While the Christmas raffle, not everyone will get a chance to win. It's about your luck!
Wayback 2015 when I won a helicopter ride in our Company's Christmas raffle. I don't feel happy but rather scared, after knowing that I won. I am grateful for winning but a part of me is scared. I have a fear of heights so I don't know if this is something I should be happy of. I even think of swapping my prize with others who want to ride a chopper.
One of my teammates badly wanted to ride the helicopter. She's even willing to buy my prize but our HR convinced me to use my prize. She said that what I've won was the most expensive prize and it's a great opportunity that doesn't come easily. I realized that she's right, It's not everyday you will get a chance to ride a helicopter for free. I'm still scared but I gather all my courage.
The Day to Fly
The scheduled day of riding a chopper finally came. **Philjets** is the company who sponsored the winners of the helicopter ride. https://philjets.com/
They even gave us breakfast before our scheduled 1-hour ride. Our itinerary will be a short trip to Tagaytay and a near view experience at Taal Volcano. I am not really familiar with some places, but I'll be sharing you the photos I've took during our ride. It's just a few photos because I am not fond of taking much photos while I am on a trip. I wanted to appreciate and see them clearly with my own eyes and I will not be able to do that if I am too busy taking pictures.
I got really scared during the take-off, It feels like I was thrown to the air. My heart is beating so fast due to fear and at the same time excitement.
We are now heading to Tagaytay. We passed Manila Bay first.
We passed different places which I don't know exactly is. I only took some that I am familiar with. We are probably already in Cavite when I took this photo.
From Cavite our next will be Tagaytay. This one, I know what place it is since I've been there before. It's the Palace in the Sky or more known now as People's Park.
Next is the most awaited and the highlight of our trip. We are now just few minutes away from Taal Volcano.
The taal crater is now waving at us, as if it's welcoming us.
You know what, Mostly of Filipino had a misconception about the Taal Volcano. Most of us thought that this is the Taal Volcano when infact it's just the crater. I am one of them, I think even our Elementary Teachers doesn't know about it since that's what they taught us. Even in the postcard, the crater is the one that had been photographed.
Now, is the closer look of Taal lake inside the Taal Volcano. First, I want to apologize since I was not able to capture it beautifully. I was mesmerized with the fact that we are so closed in the lake. We are just circling around the lake and chopper is tilting towards it.
Looks dangerously beautiful. I had a great time watching it from above that I stopped taking photos for a while. I wanted to savor the moment and just focus looking at the surroundings.
I told my officemate that just tag me on the photos she took of Taal. She is sitting at the left side of the chopper so she had a better spot and shot from me. Here is what she took.
Taal Volcano was known as the smallest Volcano of the Philippines. But there are claims that it is not small, we actually don't know how big it is since the opening of the Volcano is what only visible. It seems like It's a group of small active and inactive volcanoes. https://www.esquiremag.ph/politics/opinion/taal-not-the-world-s-smallest-volcano-a00293-20200121
And it only last year (January 2020) when Taal Volcano erupted. It causes alot of damages, suspension of classes/work, flights and ash fall. The ash fall was also experienced in different parts of Metro Manila that causes in shortage of masks. After this, Pandemic is the next crisis we faced and lockdown/community quarantine was implemented in March 2020. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020%E2%80%932021_Taal_Volcano_eruptions
A/N: I had to split my helicopter ride experience coz it will probably take long.
Imagine if I did follow my fear and did not take this chance I will not be able to see all of those things. Sometimes, we also need to listen from other's perspective so will be able to realize and understand a much bigger things. Fear is one of our enemy that will hindrance us from taking risks and chances. I am glad for summing up my courage and took this chance, so I can have something to tell or share to all of you now.
How about you? What's the most valuable or expensive raffle prize you've got? Feel free to comment it below. I will be happy to know it. ❤
See yah on the next Part!
Thank you all for supporting, reading, upvoting and commenting. I'll be very glad to interact with all of you on the comment section.
*Own images were used (also posted in my personal facebook account)* *****otherwise specified*****
*****All sources are also indicated.*****
Sunday:Unplanned Day Out
I supposed to write it last Sunday since it's for my Sunday blog, but I already had a written article so I had it finish first and published. Then yesterday I was not able to finish this, since some of my resin crafts materials arrived.
Last Saturday evening, My Dad is complaining that he's in pain for the past days already. He told us that his lower right leg is experiencing pain and numbness. Ever since we moved to our new home he barely went out to jog or even excercise inside our home. Well my Dad is really hard headed. We've been telling him to not sit or lie in bed for too long and do some stretching every morning, but he never listen. He even sleep late so he'll also waking up late, mostly he wakes up almost lunch time. My sister and I decided to visit a clinic on Sunday to have my Dad's check up.
Sunday came, being a hard headed Dad he went out early morning to have a walk without us knowing(I am still asleep that time). When me and my sister wakes up he's already in bed. He's complaining that his feet is aching and it got sprained while his having a morning walk. As we checked, he has a swollen ankle. We scolded him for a while, then we suddenly felt guilty about it. What an unfortunate incident.
**Waiting at the Clinic**
It was past two in the afternoon when we went to the Clinic. It's located inside the Mall, which is a walking distance from our residence. The age restrictions for going out had already been lifted, so the Mall was a bit crowded. You'll see kids from every corner. Running, taking pictures and even sitting at the floor as if there are no longer a virus. If anything bad happens to those kids the parents should be blame.
When we arrived at the clinic, there were few people outside waiting for their turn. We get a number first and when we were called my Dad filled up some information details.
My Dad was told that the Doctor that will be checking him is scheduled at 4pm. We left him first at the Clinic. My sister and I went to the Department Store to check some stuffs that we are planning to buy.
We returned back to the clinic before 4pm. When It's already past 4pm the Doctor arrived, but my Dad's name wasn't called yet even after few more minutes. We waited for another hour again. I feel really drained that time, I don't have a mobile data so I am only sitted during the whole time. It's really exhausting, my back head part is aching and I even experiencing muscle pain. My sister feels the same too, she even joke if we will have a check-up also. Haha
Finally! My Dad's name was called and my sister accompanied him inside the Doctor's room. Only one companion is allowed inside so I have to wait again outside.
After few minutes, the consultation ended then my sister paid for the Consultation fee, then we headed to a pharmacy to buy the necessary medicines. May Dad swollen ankle needed to be x-rayed if it's still swollen after few days. He also needs to intake a medicine for the nerve in 1 month. My sister paid for the medicine and we got a discount since my Dad is a senior citizen.
Lottery Ticket!
There is a Lotto Outlet outside the Pharmacy. After buying the medicines, I asked my sister if she has a P20 coz I wanted to try betting in the Lotto. I really want to try it for experience or fun plus a small hope of winning also. I don't have an available cash with me, she gave me a P50 instead. I thought she's going to scold me since we are not into these stuffs. My Dad also gave me P10 so I can make a bet 3 times (since it P20 per bet). My sister told me to randomly pick a number which I did.
Before the Dark
We supposed to dine in a resto but My Dad already felt tired. He said he's heading home first. My sister and I decided to just went to a supermarket then buy a roasted chicken for our dinner and icecream for our dessert. It's almost getting dark when we went out of the Mall. When we are heading to our unit my sister keeps on saying, that the sky is amazing. We are currently walking at the hallway as she saying it, there's a window at the end of the hallway so we were able to see the outside. We took some photos first before entering our house.
https://noise.cash/post/1jwn7wwm
I am thankful for the chance of being able to capture this beautiful sky.
A/N: It may be an exhausting Sunday for us, I am still thankful that we were able to have my Dad's leg checked. It's really worrisome to see him in pain. I hope for the coming days and weeks he'll completely be healed in God's name.
Thank you all for reading my articles, upvotes and comments. I appreciate everything!
And to my awesome sponsor, thank you!
Thank you too Rusty for the love!
*Own images used.*
I wish, I am Not
`There are things I wish I am, but unfortunately I am not.`
I wish I am someone who can easily forget about the bad things, that had been said to me directly or not.
*I can forgive but I can't forget. No matter what I do it will not be erase in my mind. I don't know why am I like this, but probably because I was hurt so much. It could also be because it's said by someone that I least expected to tell me those words. It's already a combination of hurt and disappointment. And it could also be because I never hear an apology. They never said sorry,and that made me think they really mean their words.*
I wish I can be more understanding that not all have the same level of my understanding in some things.
*Some would probably think that I am a patient person, but I am not. They think that I am too kind to get angry, but the thing is I can easily get mad if someone doesn't understand my explanation, If i have to repeat myself for several times. I am just trying to control my anger, but in my mind i already cuss a couple of times. That's one of the things I hated about me.*
I wish I can be less sensitive from the words that some people claimed as a "joke".
*Also, I wish some people will be more sensitive with their insensitive jokes. I am often called "Kill Joy" for not riding some jokes or teasing. They say I'm too serious and sensitive when it's just a joke. It's probably just a joke to them but it isn't for me, they should also respect that. Sometimes, I could be too sensitive because I wasn't in the mood to fool around.*
I wish I stop overthinking and be more confident.
*This is the most I wanted to be. I am an overthinker and I worry about things that is not about to happen yet, that it affects my planning. It seems like I am playing tug of war, my self is battling with my own self. There are things that I wanted to try but keeps on being delayed because I am still thinking if I should do it or not. I doubted myself a couple of times before continuing with doing things again.*
I wish I am brave enough to take a risk and strong enough to accept defeat, failures and rejections.
*If I am, I already started executing more plans, but I am not. It's hard for me to recover after every failures, defeat and rejection. It'll took months and even years. It will never be easy for everyone to accept defeat and that's what holding me back to take a risk.*
I wish I am someone who can be a great friend that you can always talk to.
*I really wish I am. I wanted to be a special friend to someone. Who she can always talk to and share her worries. Someone she can lean on. I also hope my friend is proud of having me as a friend. I wish I could reply instantly whenever i received a message, but it always took me hours and days to do that. I wanted to be a one call away friend, but I am not. As much as I wish I am, but I also wish I have a friend that will also do the same.*
I wish I am better and matured enough than before.
*This is what scares me, not able to learn from my past struggles and experiences. I always hope I've become a better person now. Much better in making wise decisions; for knowing what is good and bad; and for choosing what is right from wrong, but I think there are times that I am not.*
I wish I am less honest on what I truly feel.
*I always thought that being honest at all times is great, but I realized it isn't. When frustration takes over me, It's really hard for me to be considerate with other people feelings. My words are true and honest to the point that it can be hurtful. I am blunt at times.*
I wish I am not too hard on myself.
*It is more hard to forgive ourself when we make mistakes; When you were not able to attain the expection you had for yourself; and when it's just a small thing yet you still made a mistake. Yes, I am blaming myself for the things that went wrong, and I wish I am not.*
Finally, I wish I won't think about the things that I am not, but to rather focus on and improve the things that I am.
A/N: These are just some random thoughts I have while barely doing nothing at times. When I am trying to figure out what are the things that I should do, these thoughts will cross my mind. Just some thoughts that will linger in my head from time to time.
Thank you my Lovely Readers!
Lead Image edited in Canva https://www.canva.com/design/DAEvDGz3xRM/share/preview?token=FESDo3m2YmYkdq5_QY7JDg&role=EDITOR&utm_content=DAEvDGz3xRM&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=sharebutton
A short appreciation post for my first ever sponsor! @Kendy42 🎉🎉🎉 Thank you for the sponsorship! You are so amazing, God bless you more!!
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Have a great day/night to us all.
Night Owl's Creativity: Purple Resin Crafts
*I think I am becoming a night owl now. I feel so sleepy and tired every morning, then feel energized at evening to late night.*
My creative self is more active at night, it's been a week now since I am sleeping late because I had a hard time to sleep. Alot of ideas are running in my mind, so I executed some of them every night.
One of them is about resin crafting. I'm interested about it aside from drawing and paintings. Infact, I already posted in my noise account some of my resin crafts which are artist palette and letter keychains. I also planning to make customized resin crafts as part of my art business.
I am Resourceful!
Last week, I bought some materials for my resin projects via online but it hasn't arrived yet. The silicon coaster moulder I've purchased arrived last week, while the pendants and necklace chains arrived few days ago.
I'm too excited to try the moulder so I did not wait for the other materials.
Two days ago, I'm decluterring some of my stuffs when I stumbled upon our old makeup kit. My sister and I bought it 10 years ago. I supposed to throw it,but I suddenly realized that I can still use it not on my face but on my resin arts.
Crafting Time
*Necklace with Pendant*
I want my pendant to be colored purple, I am a fan of BTS so I wanted to put their logo inside the pendant. As I checked the makeup kit, it doesn't have a color purple eyeshadow. So I mixed a dark red and light blue eyeshadow to make a color purple. I didn't achieved my desired color since the amount of light blue is lesser than the red.
I've put the colors in the paper cup together with the epoxy resin and hardener. The ratio I made for the resin is 2:1 (2 amount of epoxy resin and 1 amount of hardener).
*The hardener's color should be clear, i think it's exposed to high humidity that's why the color turned yellowish. I purchased it last year for my other resin crafts,and now I used the remaining amount for practice.*
My first attempt was failed.
I am about to pour a small amount of resin into the pendant, but I accidentally pour a larger amount. I attempted to put the BTS logo which I drew in a small piece of paper,but it submerged into the resin and no longer visible. I tried again twice but still the same, so i decided to add some petals but it submerged too. I gave up and let it be that way.
*Sorry, I was not able to take photos of the process, or while I am doing it since I'm too immersed on crafting. What I'll be posting is the finished product.*
I think I suceeded on my 2nd attempt. I had a great control this time. I pour a lesser amount of purple resin then i put the logo then pour another amount of resin, but this is time a clear resin (no color at all).
My 1st attempt was a bit bulky than the 2nd one. Upon looking at them i think they both look fine and I realized the 1st attempt was not really failed.
Coaster Resin
It's time for the coaster crafting now. I also want my coaster to have a touch of purple. I plan to make it a combination of gold and purple. I just used the remaining purple resin I used for the pendant and pour it in the moulder.It was not enough to cover the remaining space of the moulder, so this time i made another set of resin with gold eyeshadow.
The ratio is still 2:1. I used the wooden spoon the same thing i used for mixing the resin to measure it. I used 6 spoonful of epoxy resin and 3 spoonful of hardener. I poured it to the remaining space then I slightly blend them in the middle. I also added some few petals to give additional design.
After a day, the resin was completely cured. Here it is now.
I also wear the necklace to check if it's really stainless and non-tarnished, and also to know if it will not irritate my skin. So far it's good, after more than a day of using it i don't feel any itchiness or irritation in my neck part.
Sooo happy on the final outcome! I need more practice, and more design to make before I can finally out it in the public.
A/N: I'm so proud of myself for thinking that I can still use the makeup for crafting resins. Haha I can use it on my practice sessions. I become a night owl artist now, i am crafting them at almost 12midnight last last night. Haha
On my next crafting, I'll make sure to properly take some photos of the process.
Thank you guys for reading and upvoting! Thank you also Rusty for upvoting my previous article, seeing you in my notifs for the first time made my heart skipped a beat. ❤
*Own images used*
I am currently writing an article when I accidentally closed the browser. Then when I open my read account, I noticed that my current amount increased. As I checked the notification, randomrewarder upvoted my recent article. 😭😭😭 Finally Rusty noticed me. I thought it will take long. It really means alot to me though I enjoy writing, but being rewarded hits different, Thank you Rusty! And thank you to all my readers!
What push me to be Insured?
As I started working years ago, I never thought of anything that will help my money grows in the future or any plans to make me or my family secured. I'm contented with the fact that I am earning and can buy the food that I was not able to eat when I was young. I started with a minimum salary, which is enough for my daily transpo allowance, food and not so luxurious stuffs that can still satisfy me.
*As years goes by, we will meet new people. Will resign from a job and look for a better opportunity to improve our well being, or in order to find a career growth and development. We will be sorrounded by people that have a better financial mindset in life, that will eventually influence us to be the same. We will encounter some event that will convince us to decide and finally take a risk.*
Death of a Colleague
Last 2018, beginning of the year when the Accounting Manager of our Company died. It's an unexpected since she was known for having a healthy lifestyle. I am only less than a year employee that time, so I did not know her personally but she's the sister of my officemate from the prior company I worked for.
With the current situation, One of my teammates decided that he will get a life insurance. Afraid that the same thing will happened to him so he wanted to be insured. Life Insurance has been an ongoing topic of my officemates even before we received the death news. I am not really interested about it because for me it's just another expenses (coz I have an ongoing monthly downpayment for condo and rent expense) and I don't have much knowledge about it also. Most of them are already insured and some are planning to get an insurance plan.
Deciding Factor
It's between January and February of the same year when I learned about my Uncle's condition. I was just informed by my brother that our Uncle (Tito Willie is my Mom's cousin) have a brain tumor. We are close to them when we were a kid, Our Tito Willie is one of the nicest person. He is the oldest among his siblings and the breadwinner of the family. He doesn't have his own family, so he dedicated his life in giving everything he can to his parents and siblings.
His condition is getting worst, the tumor is deteriorating and distorting his memory. When we visited him in the hospital, he barely remember us at first. Then, as my other Uncle reminded him about who we are, he was able to recognized us again. Seeing his condition made me think of what will happen if i'll be in the same situation as my Uncle. It made me decide to finally get an Insurance.
I'm Insured!
Before getting an insurance, I asked my officemate about it. Though, I am 100% sure on applying for an insurance plan. I only asked about their insights. They advised me to meet with their financial advisor, so I will have a more deeper understanding of how life Insurance works.
I was immediately contacted by a financial advisor.
We set a meeting. He asked me first some personal details so he can make a proposed estimated computation. He asked for my age, existing health conditions if there's any and if am a smoker.
*The younger you are the lower the amount of the premiums that you have to pay. As for the existing health condition they need to know whether you are still qualified to be insured, because there are certain illnesses that were no longer insurable (one example is Cancer). If you are a smoker there is a high probability of getting an illness in the future, so they will also take account of that and there will be additional increase in your premium payments. Another thing is, the amount of premium payments of a man his higher than a woman even if they have the same age. Because, woman has lesser vices, therefore has a much longer life span compare to a man (that's what had been explained to me).*
Disclaimer: I will not go much into details, since I don't still have broad knowledge about it. I will only state what my experiences are or what had been explained to me.
The insurance policy that he discussed was VUL (Variable Universal Life). It's a combination of investment and life insurance. The monthly (quarterly or annual depending on the terms you prefer) payments that you will be paying will be alloted for your life insurance premiums and the remaining portions will be alloted to your invesment (mutual funds or bonds), the fund manager will handle your investment based on what kind of fund or bond you've chosen.
*There are readily available site about what are mutual funds are, you may research about it for proper understanding.*
He showed me the computation and the amount of I am going to pay which is P26,500 annual (P6,625 quarterly) for 10 years. I am 25y/o that time and will be turning 26y/o that year, he advised me to get an insurance before my birthday so there will be no changes with the amount I have to pay. My intention is to get an insurance, but as he present the computation I got tempted to change my option of alloting more of my payment into investment than the insurance premiums. Regardless, I will be insured and my beneficiary will receive money both from my insurance and investment.
*In case you'll ask. You can withdraw money from your fund value anytime, but make sure to leave some amount for the monthly surcharge payment.*
Finally, my application was approved! I am now insured!
I've been paying for almost 4 years now (out of 10years premium period). And so far, my current fund value is half of what I've already pay.
Few months after being insured, my Uncle died.
A/N: The annual payments are what holding us back to get an insurance and I completely relate to that. How can we pay if we can't even save from our salary? Not everyone has a privilege to do that, we have different responsibilities and expenses to pay. But,If the time comes that you'll have the resources or opportunity to avail for an insurance, please do it as early as possible. It's not just for your benefit but for your family.
Thank you for reading!
Lead Image https://unsplash.com/photos/xtgONQzGgOE
Going Digital!
This article is about my first few attempts in making digital artworks. They're not that much but as a newbie I spent many hours to finish them. I am happy to share this journey to you.
*Curiosity is always the reason of trying different things myself. Seeing some people awesome works made me ask, Can I also do that? Trying it at first, then enjoying doing it after.*
First
If you've read my previous article about my 1st art journey, you'll probably remember "James Reid" since I've mention about him as my Filipino celebrity crush. Every artist normally used their crushes as references of their artworks (based on personal experience, haha). I am a fan of him, I watched his movie, joined his fan club then went on his show and even in some of his tapings (I am not really that active in fangirling, these are still considered normal things). As a show of support I made this digital fan art of him, this is after watching their live concert of "Diary ng Panget". https://read.cash/@MisakiLhaine/my-serenity-927b09ad
I am really new at using Paint tool sai even after watching some tutorial video I still struggles alot, but that's how hard first time are. Since I'm new at this, I made a sketch first in a paper using pencil then took a photo of it then uploaded it in my Dad's laptop before starting the linearts digitally. The thing I most love about Paint tool sai is the line art, even without a drawing tablet you can have a precise linearts. I only used mouse. In case you are wondering this is a chibi art style.
More Fan Arts
He started to have different movie projects and drama series. One of his old movie was a wattpad adaptation titled "Talk Back and Your Dead". Being a fan, making fanarts is one of my happiness. It's also my way to support him.
There was an issue before whereas the fans did not like the final poster of the movie. So some made their own version of movie poster. I also did, I attempted to make my version too.
He finally had a drama series! It's "On The Wings of Love" (OTWOL). This was his first series. As a support also I made a fan art. I supposed to make a daily fan art but I already had work that time and been busy. So I only did once.
Chibi Me
I also want a chibi version of me that's one of the goal I had when I started digital work. I am a broke fan of Rilakkuma. I can't afford buying the merchandise so I made myself a chibi wearing a rilakkuma onesi. I am not really sure if I looks like her but I love the onesi, so never mind. Looking back, this was the time when I had my hair bleached for the first time that's why my hair is looking color orange or something. Overall it turns out kawaii.
Comic strip!
This is the time when I already have an art ig page. I created one to separate my personal life and arts, but I am not consistent I still post arts in my personal page sometimes. Mostly in the art pages, they have their own original characters and they are making a daily comics.
I tried it once and this is my first work. I am not sure if I made an english version of this but this is only about me being impatient and angry with my bf after waiting for 2 hours (I can't remember if it really happened in real life, but maybe it's the opposite). Then the anger subside after hearing that he got me food - Magic Word. Who will still be angry after knowing he got you food? No one. Food is happiness, right?
I haven't tried doing comics again.
Design for Gift
My skill in digital art/design was still not great but my bf is very supportive and believer of me. Before Mother's day(2017) we planned to give a gift to her Mom. We think of something personalized, so i made a design then had it printed on a mug. Her Mom loves to cook and all her food are amazing! So I made this design.
Her mom loves it. When you are looking for a gift and can't decide, choose a personalized gift. Personalized or customize things are the coolest and special gifts.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this part of my art journey. I had some fan arts that I made for some of the kdramas I've watched. I'll be sharing it in a separate article. Thank you for reading my articles, regardless if you are a silent reader or not. I appreciate it so much. ❤
*All Images are my own, it were posted also in my instagram personal and art page/account.*
Sunday: Month End "Date"
Sunday is rest day or family day for most of us. This is also the day of the week were I usually eat some food cravings, I also called this as my chEAT day. So I want to alot my time in writing an article about food or travel every Sunday.
*This is how I spent my Sunday or day today. Our kind of Sundate.*
Sumo Niku
This is my 3rd time dining in here in Sumo Niku, it's an Unlimited Japanese Barbeque and almost the same concept with korean samgyupsal. I love meat but I haven't got a chance to eat it at home. My sister is not allowed to eat pork, so chicken will be the cheapest option for us.
It's been months since me and my bf last met. He got sick a month ago and he have work to do while me is an unemployed (self-employed rather). Since holiday on Monday, I think today is the perfect day to have a date.
I been craving for an unli meat and this the best option I could think of.
My bf already ordered some meat when I've arrived, but I made another orders of wagyu beef and u.s marinated beef. I haven't able to take a picture of how I made my order. There are small papers and pencil available in every table. You will just write the quantity of the food you wanted to order from side dishes to meat (also indicate your table no.), then give it to any available staff around. Few minutes your orders will arrive.
It's grilling time! The quantity of servings of meat were small. If you are a fast eater, you have to write and order from time to time. Were kinda sad that there are no available lettuce, lettuce wrap is our favorite.
Though there are no lettuce we are still able to enjoy everything. Well,you can never go wrong with beef. The cheese was not pure mozarella, i think it's a combination of cheddar and mozarella. It's too salty.
Since there are no available lettuce, we ordered more kimchi. It's also our favorite. It's confusing though that they are serving kimchi here. I guess, japanese and korean cuisine are almost the same.
I tried ordering some pork meat, 2 orders of pork belly unmarinated and 2 orders of black pepper pork belly. This is our last order for meat. I also had another bowl of japanese rice.
If you wanted a dessert you need to order 2 or 3 servings to satisfy yourself. Their serving of fruit salad is too less.
We were not really full but decided to bill out already. Too much meat is not healthy, and It's so much better if there are lettuce.
At Food Court
We supposed to eat a bingsu in Snow Panda but the store was already closed (it's no longer located in it's usual place). So we decided to just buy some stuffs in supermarket and hang-out in our favorite place, which is the Food Court.
It's our favorite hang-out place ever since. This is where we usually play in our mobile phone, watching our favorite kdrama and talking about personal stuffs and life. We bought some snacks while talking about different topics, we usually argue(it's healthy argument though) about things because we sometimes have different views and opinion.
We spent most of our day here. It's almost 6pm when we realized the time. We had a fun arguments of things, remembering it now made me laugh.
Buy 1 Take 1
We are heading home, when I saw a buy 1 take 1 sign in the shoes/sandals girls section. I normally see it here whenever i go to mall, but I suddenly wanted to buy today. I know my sister will love this so i message her immediately.
I already know what i want to buy, but my sister is taking long to choose from what I've sent. When she finally choose the design she want, her size were not available. So I had to check some design again. She wanted me to try some of it to check if it's good on feet, well I have a pretty feet so I guess everything will looks fine on me I am not sure though with my sister, kidding aside.
Finally, My sister was able to make her decision! I have a larger feet than my sister, her size is 8 while mine is 9 or 10. The sizes available are a bit larger than the normal sizes so I had to less one size. Wondering what did I bought for myself?
This is how my day went. How's your day?, I hope you had an amazing day too!
A/N: I usually write about some past experiences, and writing things that happened a few hours ago is totally different. You can easily write because you can clearly remember everything. I don't know if I'll be able to do it every sunday, but I think that will be my challenge. Thank you so much for reading my articles! I been out for almost a day here in read and noise, I'll try to catch up to your articles and post later.
*Own images used*
Doomed House
I been meaning to write this story. I guess this is the perfect time to do it. Joining the #Halloweencontest2021
This is the first time to join a prompt or a contest here in read. I'm just here to share some stories that i've experienced and heard .
*Experiencing those misfortune first hand made me think and asked is it really because of that house or We are just unlucky people?*
As an ordinary kid our home is where our happy days started, it's the beginning of the happy memories that we will recall when we grow old. Well, it's not always the case. There are bad days too and having more bad days will make you forget the good days.
Misfortune at your Door
My Mom and some relatives believed that our old house was cursed (After a huge fire broke out in the entire Barangay). That everyone who live there have experience misfortune, difficulties and death. We had a small house in Manila that was given by our Grandpa to my Mom.
When we moved to province temporarily, Our house was rented to some relatives. They say, they started to experience financial difficulties and when they finally able to overcome those difficulties another problem arises, and they are blaming the house for that.
We moved back to Manila when I was 7y/o(year 1999) to continue our studies. Few months of our stay in our house my Dad loses his job. Like what our relative says, we started experiencing financial difficulties. We were able to recover after that. My Dad finally got a new job. He earns fair enough to cover our daily expenses, but same thing happened he loses his job again. We are struggling financially everyday, we can't even have a proper meal to eat. Years passed and our life is so unpredictable, sometimes we are financially okay but right after we are broke again. Every great things that are happening was snatched from us instantly.
Witchcraft or Illness?
We already struggling to live daily, and then suddenly my Mom got sick. I was really traumatized at that point. Seeing my Mom have series of attacks, vomitting blood and collapsing in my frail body. I am so scared that Mom will call my name, coz I know she will be collapsing again. She was brought to a hospital after she vomitted blood but the Doctor said she was fine and doesn't need to be confine and was given medication. Weeks passed, my Mom vomitted blood again. It was the worst I ever seen. Half of the bucket/pale contained her blood. The next day, my parents went to the hospital again, but the Doctor said the same thing.
My Grandma is currently at our house that time, she travelled from our province to Manila in order to help in taking care of my Mom. My Grandma suspected that someone done a witchcraft to my Mom. Elders normally believe on that kind of thing. An *Albularyo* /Witch-Doctor came and performed some ritual (I am not sure if that was the right term). They did not allowed us to look. So it's just my Mom, grandma and the Witch-Doctor who were present at that time.
After the ritual, she gave mom a protection. It's a red chord that was tied in her waist with a small pouch attached. My curiosity hit again, I asked what did the Witch-Doctor told. My grandma said 2 things. There is someone who performed a strong witchcraft to my Mom because she hated her. Someone who hold her head when the 1st incident of vomitting happened and the 2nd thing is, there is a non-human creature or bad element living in our house that making my mom and our life miserable. Based on the description of the Witch-Doctor, only 1 person crossed my mind. That person was present on the 1st incident and Mom had an argument with her before (They are actually friends, but had some misunderstanding). We decided that Mom will be going back to province with Grandma together with my sister.
Voices
Money problems resulted to losing temper. My Dad started to be verbally abusive, he is always shouting and cussing to me (I am mostly alone at house, so I am the one receiving his anger). I got scared every night, coz every time he's angry he'll tell us that he will kill us or he will burn the house. Every night, before I sleep I'll keep our knife under my bed or any pointed object so My Dad will not be able to stab me.
More than a year passed and that was my set-up everyday. Thankfully, nothing bad happened to me and I am still alive.
My sister and Mom finally went back to Manila after almost 2 years, we are living together again. We had a small talk one fine day, My Dad opened up and told Mom that he hear some voices. He said that he sometimes hear voices telling him to kick Mom or to hurt and kill us. There are instances that a voice will tell him to burn our house. I suddenly, remember that was my Dad keeps on saying to me whenever he's angry and he's really scary upon looking at him.
I Saw Five of Them
My siblings and I are all studying. My mom was left everyday in our house. She's busy being a mom, doing all the household chores. During the time when my Dad confessed about the voices that he usually heard. My Mom told us some incidents happened to her.
Whenever she was left alone, she sometimes see a black figure that will walk through in our house. One scary thing happened to her, she's a bit sleepy one afternoon, but her eyes are still open. She saw 5 people pass through our house (she doesn't know if she is hallucinating, but for her it feel so real) , 2 people hold her feet, the other 2 hold her hand, while 1 is strangling her. She even heard them saying "hold her feet tightly", she can't shout and she's feeling weak already. Then the 5 people suddenly disappear when my Brother called Mom at the Door.
Black Lady
I've mentioned this before on my previous article that I had some series of nightmares about our old house same with my other siblings, after my Mom's death. As we moved out of our old house, we stayed in my Aunt's house(you may read the article about this titled First Death). It's a bit scary to know that my sister and I had the same nightmare. We always dreamed about our old house, there is an old lady in black inside our house. She's in the bathroom and sometimes in our room. Most of the time, she's sitting in My parents bed. In that dream, I always tried to sneak out from our house to run from her, then she'll run after me. It's so scary. My sister and I don't want to go to our old house anymore, there is a specific bad aura that we can feel from that house. It was sold already and It's been a decade since we last visited it. https://read.cash/@MisakiLhaine/my-first-death-74cf8d31
A/N: I am not really sure if the house or some bad elements have something to do to all the unpleasant things happened to my family. Whether it is true or not there is nothing I can do but to move forward. Our family is enjoying our present life now after what we've been through it's time for us to be happy.
Thank you for reading my story! If you are interested to another kinda creepy thing(not so creepy), I've wrote an article before about Premonitions. https://read.cash/@MisakiLhaine/warning-signs-08c83ad7
Thank you again!
*Lead Image from Unsplash*
My Grandpa Isn't Real?
*Growing up as a kid, We sometimes doesn't understand yet some situations we were into. Adults will not tell us everything unless we got curious and ask them. They believe it's better that way than to explain to us the things that we will not fully comprehend.*
Childhood days with Grandpa
*Our Province Days*
I am the youngest among my 3 siblings, I am a spoiled little girl of my grandpa. I usually follow him wherever he goes and I am actually his favorite grandchild (that's what they always told me), though he loves all my siblings too. He will gave me money most of the time even if I don't ask him. He'll make sure I am eating well and always ask what I want to eat.
My siblings and I were all born in Manila but we used to live in the Province when we were young, except with my Dad since he's working in Manila. My Mom, my other siblings and my Grandparents are staying with our house in the province. I studied in a Daycare Center of our Barrio, we used to walk in an unpaved muddy road.
*I am feeling really old (well I'm 29 already haha) talking about these more than a two decade ago stuffs. Haha*
*I realized that I have a good memory that I was able to remember these things. Haha*
Sometimes we walk in the pilapil *(farm or ricefield embankment)* or in kaniyugan *(It looks like a forest, but mostly the trees our high coconut trees and with tall grasses).* My grandpa will always fetch me and my sister after school. I love walking going to school and going home, but my sister hated it. She always asked Grandpa to carry her, despite of being heavy (she's a bit fat when she's a kid). He will carry us in his back alternately but sometimes my sister won't get down so I ended up walking. When I was 7 years old, My mom, me and my siblings moved back to Manila again.
*Story behind the Scar*
Waking up every morning, I will always look for my Grandpa. He loves drinking coffee at morning. He also a cigarette smoker, though he wouldn't smoke when we are around. An incident happened one morning. Upon seeing him sitting outside our house, I hurriedly jump on his lap not knowing he's holding a cigarette. I got a burn mark near the left knee, that later on become a scar. My Grandma scolded him alot, and I know my Grandpa feel really sorry about what happened. I can no longer remember if I cried that day or if it was painful (Maybe I did not cried that much so Grandpa won't feel bad). Now, my scar wasn't that visible because it has almost the same color of my skin tone.
*"Baho" Pillow*
Do you have a Baho*(Smelly)* Pillow? It sound disgusting, right? Haha But it's my favorite pillow. They say, most of the kids before, grew up having their favorite pillow that they don't wanna let go despite of it being old, dirty and smelly. I called my Baho Pillow as "Tanday" (from the tagalog word Dantayan or Leg pillow in english), it's a smooth brown pillow that I carry around in our house. I actually can't sleep without a pillow on my leg or feet. I have a habit of rubbing my feet on it and also in a mosquito net before sleeping.
My Baho pillow was from my Grandpa, it's his old pillow. He gave it to me when he saw that I got fond of using it. My Mom will cover Tanday with pillowcase but I'll remove it later on, she always nags me to discard Tanday but I cannot afford to throw my Baho pillow. Tanday has a sentimental value for me since it was given by Grandpa so I had a hard time to get rid of it.
The Truth
I have lots of good memories with my Grandpa. I grew up knowing that he's my real Grandpa.
When my Mom was sick more than a decade ago (I was around 14y/o). One of my Aunt told her to contact "Mom's Father" and ask for financial help. My Mom is so firm in saying no. She said, she doesn't want. I got confused, Why wouldn't my Mom wanted to contact Grandpa? She always loves seeing Grandpa and everytime my Grandpa is going back to province, she's crying.
The truth is, the Grandpa I knew as my real grandpa was not my biological Grandfather and so not my Mom's biological Father. The one that My Aunt is referring to as my Mom's Father is my Mom's biological Father. How did I know it? After the confusion I had, I asked my Mom about it and she told everything.
A/N: My Grandpa and I may not be blood related or he's not our real Grandpa, but it doesn't negate the fact that he's kindest and loving person I ever met and he's one of my forever favorite human. I'm actually thankful for having that small scar in my knee, it reminds me of my younger years. As for my baho pillow, It was discarded same with our old things as we moved out from our old home. I want to share some childhood photos but I can't find our photo album, so maybe next time.
My childhood days will never be the same if he's not around. It's saddening that he died few months after my Mom's death. I'm still studying that time and wasn't able to pay my last respect.
*Lolo Wawang you will always in my heart.*
I'm not an active user here. It's really hard to be active in writing when you weren't used to it, but I'm trying my best to write something worthy so thank you guys for taking time reading my articles. ❤
Lead Image https://pixabay.com/get/g66d4d52a435a8d31f447f89cd891762acc101e82b65554e0341723f415500e00d01f2f5ed2e295bb02f389d14ef9e978799632afeff58e10f95938e9af72cb4f129bddeaeceb92a516f5829a0ec6e7fe_1920.jpg
Warning Signs
On my 2nd article, I've shared about the experiences that I've went through during the death of my Mom. If you haven't check it yet, here's the link. https://read.cash/@MisakiLhaine/my-first-death-74cf8d31
For this article, I'll be sharing some premonitions I've and my family(including my mom) encountered before her death.
*Have you ever experienced having premonitions of death by one of your loved ones?*
*Do you think it's real or just a coincidence?*
*They say, It can happen while you're dreaming or while you are conscious.*
Date: November 2008
Birth=Death
Do you know the superstition that if your birthday is near you are prone to accidents or misfortune? I did not know about it too, my eldest brother just told me about it. That's what he heard from the elders.
1 or 2 weeks before my Mom's Death, my eldest brother and I had some talk. He's a bit anxious telling me these:
*"Our Mom's birthday is approaching and she's still currently at the hospital. They say, that you are prone with accident or death when your birthday is near."*
It's probably a coincidence, but my mom died the same day of her birthday.
Dead-line
My sister and I love to talk about what we've dreamed last night. It's like a routine, telling each other about the bad or weird dreams that we had. Few days before my Mom's death, my sister told me her dreams.
*There's a line of People, and she saw that we are in that line. She doesn't know why we are lining up though. We are so far from the front line but she saw my mom was almost at the front.*
After my Mom's death, I remember about my sister's dream. It made me think that's probably about OUR TIME to leave, and my Mom was near at the front line because she's about to die.
Hunch
Is it true that a mother can feel if something bad happened to her child?
After my relatives told my grandma that my mom died. I finally got the chance to talk to her and comfort her. She told me that all through out her trip going to our place, she's been really anxious. She feels like something happened.
My Mom died at around 2AM, while My grandma was still in the trip(via ship) going to our place in Manila.
When she arrived at home, we were not there. She told us when she was arranging my mom's clothes, it smells like dead that it made her cry and feel uneasy again.
Fetch by Death
I don't know if everyone was given a sign before their death. I just happened to know my mom's sign because she told me about it few days before her death. I was in the hospital that time visiting my Mom. We had a talk about what I and my siblings doing while she's in the hospital. Suddenly, she told me that she had a weird dream.
*She's lying on bed and she's sorrounded by some relatives that're already dead few years ago. One was my great grandma.*
She even laughed about it. She said, *she probably being fetched by them.* I didn't overthink that time when she talked about those weird dreams. When she died, I remember those things she said. There's also a saying that if you are sick and one of the dead person visited you in your dreams, there's a great probability of dying and they are really fetching you.
Flash-Forward
Have you been in a situation that after seeing an event/incident you suddenly had a flash-forward of being in the same scenario? It might be just an imagination but it happened to me days before my mom's death. Same day when she told me about her weird dreams. One of the patients died in the room across my mom's room (every room have max. of 6 patients). I saw and heard the crying of the family of the deceased. For some seconds, I saw myself in the same situation. I even felt the agony of losing someone special. It snapped off when my mom hold my face and told me that I should not look at them.
Before receiving a call from my Dad regarding the news of my Mom's death, I am sleeping and dreaming. In my dream, My Dad is carrying my mom, he looks so sad. He is just walking while carrying my mom. Then, I was awaken by a call and was told that my mom died.
A/N: I am not sure if all of those dreams are just a product of our imaginations or really the truth/signs. Because dreams are made out of our desires or even fears. It's probably our fears that made us those dreams. Either way, with or without those signs things that are bound to happen, will really occur regardless of circumstances.
Thank you for reading!
Lead Image from Unsplash
My Serenity
This is the start of my journey exploring the World of Arts. I was not really new at drawing/sketching and making crafts, because ever since I was a kid I am already into arts. But after a long hiatus it feels like this is the first time again.
As I was in the midst of an emotional distress, I look for things that will give me peace of mind. Watching Korean Dramas has been my comfort too since I was in High School. Until now, It still one of my favorite things to do, but it wasn't enough. I need to do things that will let my emotions out. I needed an escape or outlet.
Then it leads me into drawing again.
Pencil Sketches/Drawing
Going back to basic since I am starting again.
End of 2015 when I started doing sketches.
I bought just 1 pencil and I tried sketching. This is my artwork at that time.
It look sad, right? It's a drawing of a girl pretending to be okay when actually she was not. I named this sketch as "Great Pretender".
Then I continue buying additional art materials on 2016. I bought few more pencils and a sketchbook. My sketches still look sad but my feelings were a bit lighter. I was able to convert those emotions into arts.
Some random sketches I did.
Another emotional girl sketch. I remember I was crying when I drew this. Everytime I see this, It always made me sad.
After some time, I tried portraiture and it was a mess. Haha I have a Filipino Celebrity crush before and I used his photo as my reference. I tried my best to copy his image but I guess my best was not enough. LOL
Any guesses who is he? Haha Okay Okay I'll tell you.
I also tried drawing my nephew. It was his birthday when I made this portrait of him. My innocent nephew I am sorry. Haha I will make a new portrait of you, I promise.
I can't get the right proportions. The finish art don't resemble the reference and it's a bit frustrating. But I keep on going, then tried again doing portrait of my favorite Korean Actress. It was failed also, but I can see that I improved in shadings.
Colored Arts
Watercolor Pencils
After making some B/W artworks, I explore colored arts. This made me buy a Faber Castell Watercolored Pencil.
This is my first artwork using the watercolor pencil. It's just a random drawing. I named her "Red Hair Girl", obviously. Haha
I started to enjoy the use of colors. Gradually, my artworks started to look lively and had lighter feeling.
This is one of my favorite colored artwork, I combined the different colors like violet, orange and red. I love how it turns out. The splashes added some drama that made it look dreamy.
Watercolor Crayons
One of my officemate gave me a watercolor crayon set. I haven't heard about it before, that there's such thing as watercolor crayons. When we heard about crayons we know that it's was made from wax and wax are not soluble in water. When i used the watercolor crayons, the texture is more like an oil pastel than the usual crayons.
Here are some of the artworks I made out of it.
My first attempt on night sky at the beach painting, I also use a colored pencil for some details.
My first attempt on drawing an eye. I am actually impressed with the glazed effect. Just a bit of polishing with the lashes and it can be a realistic eye already.
This time was an attempt for self-portrait. It looks fine but I am way better in person. Haha
And the artwork below was a painting I made during my Mom's 8th Death Anniversary last Nov. 2016. The bodies proportions weren't right but the right emotions were conveyed. Showing how I badly miss my Mom and her hug.
Being a Kdrama Fan I always want to make a fan arts of the Kdrama that I am watching. But I don't always have the time and the will to do it. So I just randomly choose what to draw or paint.
Have you watched Legend of The Blue Sea? This painting is inspired by that series.
If you made it this far, Thank you!
I still have a lot to share but you might get bored if I post it all in one article. Most likely these are the artworks I made from end of 2015 to 2016, but I still have some arts left for 2016. Will share the continuation of my Art Journey next time.
A/N: I hope I have share something worthy for your eyes to see and read. These are just a small part of my journey as a Self-Taught/Proclaimed Artist. I still have a long rough road to take and artworks to share with you. Thank you for taking your time to read this journey of mine.
*All Images are Owned by me (I'm using Obscure Box as my watermark in my artworks, it's the name of my art page.)*
Getting Myself Back
It's really a "I got myself back", because finally I was able to write my 3rd article after a month of Writer's block (Self-proclaimed writer really? Haha).
This is the continuation of my first article.
If you've forgot about it already here's the link:
https://read.cash/@MisakiLhaine/lost-days-027a9ddb
These are the reasons for a big changes in my life.
It's a path that leads me back to making arts again.
Stressful Days
When our office moved to Ortigas, my travel time became longer and exhausting.
Our company allowed as a flexible time. So if we arrived in our office at 7am we can go home as early as 4pm. I wake up and arrive early everyday, but unfortunately I rarely got the chance to go home early. I usually got stucked in a heavy traffic or sometimes It takes an hour to wait for a UV express. I have an option to ride a bus, but it also takes time due to large number of passengers who are also waiting.
My main dilemma is actually about our merchants who keeps on calling and following-up for their money. I have mentioned before that our company is an Online Selling site. We sell and advertise the products of different Merchants and get a commission from every sold items.
We collect the buyer's payment first then release the money to the merchants every Friday.
Since our company is experiencing a loss,
we were delayed in paying those merchants, to be exact we don't have the money to pay them.
For those reasons, I keep receiving calls even after working hours or over the weekends. Some were already irate, they will shout at me telling me that I am a liar and a scam. I feel bad for them and I totally understand where those anger coming from, but there's nothing I can do. I'm just an employee and I don't have control over those things, I'm only saying what was told by the higher ups.
The New CEO
I've mentioned before that our new CEO is a Filipino. We hardly got the chance to see him in our office. He sometimes stayed in the afternoon or if there were checks or documents to be signed. I know the Company is at loss already before he came but I do not see any significant thing he did since he started working as our CEO.
I personally don't like him, I don't think he can be trusted.
Few months of being our CEO, he asked for the Company's credit card. We only have one credit card and that is used only for paying some expenses related to our IT system, and it should be in custody of Finance Department. He borrowed it and never returned it. When the credit card statement arrived, I was surprised to see that there are purchases of "Nike" shoes and bill amount for dine-in in different high-end restaurants and cafe. It become an issue within our team, especially the accounting entries that we need to record for those purchases. When our Finance Head asked him about those purchases, He denied that he made those transactions and claimed that the credit card was lost.
I will never believe him, If the card was lost why he did not informed us right away? And those transactions happened a month ago, It only means that it wasn't lost he just used it as an alibi to cover up those purchases. Of course we requested for a new credit card because our Mighty CEO "lost" it.
*Money can change someone for good or for worst.*
Broken Trust
As I got promoted, I was given additional responsibilities same as with my Manager and now Head of Finance and Admin. He is now included as the signatory of our check payments. Before, only the CEO is allowed to sign on our checks. Now, It can be our CEO or our Finance Head.
Little by little I noticed that our Finance Head is making advances from the Company's funds and even from our Petty Cash Fund. I oversee all the disbursements and checks prepared first before signing. Whenever I'm on leave or out of office my staff will inform me that our Head asked him to prepare a check under his name. The amount ranges from P30K to P50K (590$ to 983$)
Honestly, I can't bring myself to ask him. How would i question my superior if he says that it were Salary/Cash Advances? (I know that we don't have such policies). It seems like he is taking advantage of our company.
From then on, I started to lose my trust on him.
Comfort in the Middle of Chaos
I'm emotionally and physically stressed, but I don't want those emotions win over myself.
Then I found myself making arts again.
I started with a graphite pencil and expresses myself through sketches/drawings. Then later on I bought a Faber Castell colored pencil set and additional sketchbook. It made me happy despite of those emotional stress that I'm currently experiencing. Arts become my comfort during those rough times and upto now, and I am glad that i finally found my way back into arts.
With all the stress brought by my job and the trust that was broken, I decided to resign from my job instead of waiting for our Company to close down.
I can't stand it anymore, seeing the reliable person I looked up to started to change.
It's one of the most courageous and fulfilling decision that I made in my whole life.
A/N: To resign from a job without any savings nor did not applied for a new job is one of the bravest thing I ever did. Haha After I resigned last January 2017, I started to look for a job that was not related anymore with Finance and Accounting. While searching for a job I continue on making arts, It become my antidepressant pill to make me sane.
This is the beginning of my Art Journey. For the next article I'll be sharing my artworks/sketches during those stressful days.
Thank you for reading!
Own Lead image
My First Death
*"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living"*
*-Marcus Tullius Cecero*
**I died as my mom died.**
I will be posting this first, before the continuation of my 1st article. This should be my first published article but I am having a hard time finishing this one.
*November 2008*
I'm 16years old in the year of 2008. I once lived in a family of six. My Dad doesn't have a permanent/stable job. We are one of the poorest people of the society, but lucky enough to be able to go to College.
My eldest brother is a fresh College graduate and still looking for a job. My elder brother, elder sister and I are both studying in College (Me and my sister are beneficiary of scholarship program of a Foundation), while my mom is battling with a lung illness.
Being poor and sick you only got two options, you'll heal and recover but you'll incur debt or you'll die and still in debt, either way they still sound the same "debt" or "death".
My mom was confined in a Public Hospital for 3 weeks during November 2008. I usually visit her after school. I sometimes walk from the School to the Hospital, since I dont want to spent for a transpo fare. The distance is 1.6KM or approximately 30mins walk. My relatives are helping us with the medical expenses even with our daily food.
*Birth and Death*
It's around 2 in the morning of November 29,2008 when I missed my Dad's call.
I have this unexplainable feeling of uneasiness that something bad happened, but I tried to calm my self first and waited for another call. Finally, I got the next call but can't hear my Dad's voice.
I'm still feeling anxious, then few seconds later I received a text message from him telling me that my mom passed away,
"Wala na si mama niyo."
My mind can't really absorbed my Dad's message, a part of me is hoping that it isn't real and it all just a bad dream.
I immediately wake up my sister and brother and we went to the Hospital as fast as we can. My Dad is crying when we arrived at the Emergency area. He hugged us right away while saying these words:
"Iniwan na tayo ni Mama niyo."
*"Your mother already left us."*
And we all both cried. We went first to my Mom's ward to get her things, before we proceed to the Hospital Mortuary Room.
*I tried my best to calm myself first before writing this part. Remembering this scene is painful.*
I can't keep my emotions anymore as we walk inside the Mortuary. I saw a lifeless body lying in a cold stainless bed. It was covered with a plain white blanket. As I walk closer, I saw my mom's name written on the tag that was tied on her ankle. My dad removed the blanket and I saw my Mom's face. I saw the hardships in her face and how she struggles to fight for her life; It was written on her face that she tried her best to live, but then her body gave up. I wanted to hold her face, as I place my palm onto her face I can still feel the warmth of her skin for the last time. The Hallway in the Mortuary area was filled with our sorrows. It was my Mom's 46th Birthday and My Dad plan to surprise her, but instead she suprised us, a painful surprise. A supposedly joyous occassion turns into a misery.
*Telling the Truth to Grandma*
My grandma doesn't know yet the devastating news. She arrived in Manila few hours after my Mom's death not knowing that her only child was no longer alive. When me and my siblings went home some of our relatives from my Mother side told us that our Grandma was already at home. They warn us not to tell her anything about our Mom. As we went inside the house, My Grandma immediately asked us how's Mom. I can't ignore her. I just said "She will be home, soon" while keeping myself from crying. My Grandma have an inborn heart disease, that's why we can't tell her the truth right away. My relatives told her the news after making sure of that my Grandma is in good condition. It's too heartbreaking seeing my Grandma's crying. They say, losing your child is the most painful thing.
Trigger Warning: there are words that can trigger trauma or depression
*The Aftermath*
My Mom was laid to rest after 3 days of funeral service. The coming days are harder than what I expected. It's really difficult for me to sleep at night for months after my Mom's passing. I can see my Mom's face in the Mortuary Room whenever I close my eyes. I have those episodes of waking up at dawn, crying. Even before going to sleep, I am silently crying. It become my routine, In the morning I'm doing fine going to school but I am breaking down at night. We moved out from our old house and started to live with my relatives in Father's side. My Aunt's house became our 2nd home, It's in the same district but in different barangay.
Days, Months and Years passed. I thought I am doing fine. I'm breathing and living like a normal person I should be.
But the emptiness within me is still consuming my whole system, it's suffocating but I am embracing it. I have series of thoughts on physically hurting myself that I almost cut my wrist, but I was able to overcome those negative thoughts.
*New Start - September 2015*
When me and my siblings started to earn money, we decided to moved out from my Aunt's house. We lived there for almost 6 years since the death of my Mom and that's long enough already, so from Manila we moved to Paranaque. It was my sister's idea. She told me that she wanted to forget all the bad things that happened in our old house. And the only way to do that is to completely moved out from that place. She also have a sleepless nights and nightmares same with my brother, we almost have the same dreams. As we started living in Paranaque everything started to change for good. I still have those crying moments at night whenever I misses my Mom, but we rarely got a nightmare about our old home.
Yes, I am doing fine again. 🙂
A/N: At times, I still cry at night before I sleep. But I am much better now compare before. As much as I want to forgot all those unpleasant memories, they are already part of what I become now. If you ever experiencing some hardships in life, never let yourself get drowned on your negative thoughts. Healing is a long process, it takes years, but never lose hope. Because there is always HOPE. Believe me, there is.
Thank you for reading my story. After writing this I feel so much lighter now. Haha See yah on my next article. ❤
*Own Image used.*
Lost Days
I am not a writer nor a good story teller.
I just love sharing some of my thoughts, ideas and experiences. I vent out my feelings through arts and writings, when everything is already too much for me to keep and handle.
I'm a self-proclaimed artist, before being a writer wanabe.
I used to make arts on my High School days, but I suddenly stopped when I started studying in College due to personal reasons, different priorities and some responsibilities.
I am not sure if "to stop drawing" was a decision I made or It just happened naturally.
***College Days***
I studied Bachelor of Science in Accountancy, it's my 3rd choice out of my 4 College course choices such as:
BS-Tourism
BSE-Mathematics
BS-Accountancy
B-Fine Arts
I studied as much as I can, though I sometimes question myself if this is what I really want.
I went to a Review School, few months after I graduated College in 2013. This was the start of me experiencing failures and being lost. Everyone around me are doing great in the review classes, as if they are all prepared to face a battle while me is still wondering why do I took up Accountancy?
Finally the exam days had ended and the result was released.
I lost my first ever battle.
I failed the CPA Board Exam.
I did cried for a moment, but then I moved on. I'm a bit disappointed at myself, but It was a well deserved Defeat.
***Job Hunting***
My life will not end with just one failure. Life goes on. It's now the beginning of searching a job.
Honestly, I had a rough start in finding the perfect job for me. My first job was a complete mess. There were no government benefits and we were paid in a daily basis. The whole business structure of the Company was a mess.
I am planning to resign, but still I can't decide when.
Then an opportunity came. I received a message from a friend. She asked me if I wanted to apply in their Auditing firm, since it's Audit Season they are hiring Non-CPAs (Non-Certified Public Accountant) for a contractual position in a Quality Assurance Department.
I grabbed the chance even though it's just a 3-month contract, aside from this is my chance to run away from my first job it's also a great opportunity for me to work on a well known Firm in the field of Audit.
***My almost Dream job...***
August 2014
I was referred again by another friend, after my contract ended in the Auditing Firm. His sister is working as a Chief Financial Officer in an E-Commerce Company, which is founded by a French National. I applied for the Accounting Assistant position and was hired.
Finally, I will be working in a company with a good business structure, with Manager that will guide me, with cool Bosses and with a friendly working environment. My days started great. I was in-charge with the Daily Reconciliation, other Financial Reports and I assist also in the Audit, it's overwhelming but I love my job.
2015
Suddenly, everything started to change. Our Company is facing a big crisis that resulted to a decline in our overall sales and changes in the Management; We are experiencing a drastic loss in income; Our CFO was removed from her position and my Manager resigned. I'm completely at loss, but I need to moveforward.
New CFO and Finance Manager were hired. They are German and Filipino respectively. My Manager and I have a great teamwork. He saw my potentials and gave me another role, from Accounting Assistant I become a Financial Analyst. Our CFO has a great leadership, I am reporting directly to him in terms of our Daily Cash Collections. It feels great to be part of a Team that motivated you to work harder and made you feel relevant. We may sometimes encounter difficulties but somehow we were able to overcome it.
I thought the Company is finally recovering, but I was wrong. Our CFO filed a resignation for personal reasons. The whole team was so sad about this news, but we wishes him on his future endeavors and career plans.
***Our New CFO and CEO***
2016
Another CFO was hired, he's a French National like our CEO. He is a great Leader too, approachable, well-organized and generous. He is someone you will admire to be your Boss. Few months after his employment date, The CEO/Founder of our Company was removed from his position it's a decision made by the Majority Stockholders. Our New CFO was promoted to be the New CEO. It was a joyous event to our CFO turn to be CEO but a sad news to our former CEO. I can't imagine how painful it was for him.
Being part of a Finance Team and someone that in-charge in the safekeeping of important documents, I somehow knew that the Company can no longer stand for the next years. We are losing day by day, Our Operating Expenses are greater than our Sales. The higher-up decided to lay off some staffs, It's saddening to see the empty chairs and tables of some employees.
*Left Alone*
Another news came.
Our CEO resigned.
Few months after his departure a teammate of mine also file a resignation letter. I am the only Accounting Personnel left that's been there long enough. I feel like I was left alone with too much responsibilities. My teammate who resigned was one of my closest co-worker, that's why I am so sad when he left and the changes were too sudden. Honestly, I got scared. Imagine, all these things happened in just a year.
*Big Changes*
August 2016
With the resignation of our Former CEO, a new CEO was hired. This time, he's a Filipino.
My Manager was promoted into Head of Finance and Admin and I was also promoted from Financial Analyst into Finance Admin Manager.
The Management decided to minimize the expenses, so we moved out from our office in Makati to much smaller office in Ortigas.
These changes is the start of more problematic, frustrations, disappointments and stressful days.
*To be continued.*
A/N: This is my First published article here in Read. Thank you for reading!
I wanted to write an Introduction first but there's not much to say about myself. I hope you were able to finish reading the whole article. I am so emotional writing this whole thing. It's like reminiscing the old me and the challenges that I've been through, but still more events are starting to unfold.
*Own Image used.*
@MisakiLhaine
