A Star in the Day
02/20/2022
"Luna, some books said that when people die, they become stars. Do you believe that?"
"For some reason, I do. Look how many of them are laid out in the sky tonight."
"Oh yes. I would want to be placed there, if ever."
With a confused look, Luna looked at Rigell, who is pointing somewhere near the moon.
"You would want to..what?"
"Stop being so dramatic. I was just saying it would be so nice to be close to the moon."
"Fine. Whatever floats your boat."
"Luna, promise me you'll always come out during this time of the night, and try to count as many stars as you can. With me."
"The heck, Rigell. What for?"
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."
Luna just stared at Rigell who was focused on counting the stars. She was always fascinated by the sight. In her eyes, Rigell was the brightest star already.
Rigell must have been really favored by universe. Look how it placed a whole galaxy in his eyes. Those were the words that would only play within Luna's head. Unspoken words that will remain as that.
Luna and Rigell have been best friends since kids. They grew up basically together, laughed, cried, and did lots of embarrassing things alongside each other.
And like any other story, one would always end up catching strange feelings. In this case, it was Luna. She knew it ever since they went to college together.
She has always been jealous of the girls her friend courted. She would always look at him in a way a best friend definitely would not. Her thoughts are always full of him. Rigell, Rigell, Rigell. It was always him. It is still him.
Until Luna got tired of hiding her feelings, and confessed to Rigell. The confession did not end well, as the latter turned her down. Rigell insisted on them remaining as friends, though. And this convincing took him almost six months. Of course, Luna's heart was broken, and at the same time, she was ashamed to face him again.
But Rigell was persistent. And so, they became friends again. Although it's obvious that everything's not the same as before. Or maybe, just in Luna's side.
After the confession incident, Rigel still treated her like before, as if nothing happened in between. Sometimes, Luna resented Rigell because of this. Or maybe she envied him for being so chill about everything, when everything became extremely hard for her.
For the longest time now,Luna wondered why. Why Rigell wanted to stay friends, even when she insisted how she feels. And for some unknown reason, she spoke.
"Rigell, why?"
"Seventy-seven—why, what?"
Luna saw the frustration in his eyes when Rigel lost track of his counting.
"Why do you still want this setup? Us being friends?"
"Because I want to stay with you. Isn't that obvious?"
"Even you knew I love you? Doesn't it make you feel awkward? You know that I will assume things, right? Even I don't want to, I will. You know how sh*tty that feels, right? Oh, right. You don't know, because you don't feel it."
Rigell could not give a response, and just looked at the sky again.
"Why is it that the moon always looks absolutely beautiful no matter how angry it gets?" Rigel said with a smile, as if he's stating a joke.
"Rigell, are you even listening?"
"I'm sorry, Luna."
"If you're sorry, why are you doing this? You know I tried to make this work, too, but I failed. You know how I miserably failed. But why do you still want to keep this friendship? It's barely working."
Without knowing it, tears started streaming down Luna's face. It took her quite a while to let it all out, her frustrations, her confusions, along with some leftover pain from the past, that she still could not forget.
"I just want to spend time with you, even like this. Won't the stars even grant this small wish? I guess wishing on a star does not work, after all." Rigell calmly said, with an obvious hint of sadness in his voice.
"Of course. It's such a stupid belief." Luna agreed. I wished on it for us to be lovers, and look at us now.
Both of them were both silently crying as the night went deeper.
"I am sorry, too. I know you want us to remain friends like before, and I want it, too. But I could not force myself to do it. It just does not work for me. Everytime I look at you, my heart breaks. It just breaks, and breaks. I could endure the next five, or ten heartbreaks, maybe. But I don't know how long I could take it. I don't know.. It just hurts so bad." Luna explained.
"Why can't just people be together the way they wanted?"
"Why did I fall for the wrong person?"
"Why can't I just do the real thing I wanted to do?"
It was a meaningful exchange of questions between the two of them, and no one from either side dared to answer.
"Actually, this feels nice." Luna said, ending the questions exchange thing.
"Feels nice? I agree. Look at us, staying together like this in a beautiful night." Rigel answered. I hope time stops and we can just stay like this forever.
Rigell leaned on Luna's shoulder, and the latter did not complain anymore. One thing's sure, though. It was the most beautiful night she ever had. It was painful, at the same time, liberating. It pierced like an arrow, yet it was comforting.
"Luna.."
"Hmm?"
"You know that even the moon is not accompanied by the stars, they're still there, right?"
"The stars? Of course. I studied astronomy, you idiot."
"That was harsh, but okay. I was just trying to remind you. That's all."
"No need to. I know it."
"Good to hear that. Soon enough, you may see a star close enough to be seen beside the moon. The moon will feel less lonely when that happens."
"You know what, Rigell? This conversation is going nowhere, thanks to your confusing words."
Rigell responded to Luna's annoyance with a gentle laugh.
"Luna.."
"Ugh! What now?!"
"Remember this. The stars love the moon. So much."
"Sure, sure. Sleep. Just sleep."
"I will. Goodnight, Luna."
There was never a single night that Luna would not shed a tear whenever she visits the familiar spot. That familiar spot where she last heard Rigell's "Goodnight" and when he slept for good, on her shoulders.
It has been countless times already that she visits here, and she has no plans to stop. This will go on, forever.
Tonight, again, like all the other nights, her vision's blurry, so she could not get a proper view of the night sky. And yet, she would always make sure to try to count all the stars her eyes could see. And then when she gets tired, she will look at that one certain spot, a place near the moon.
There, a star is stationed, as if it was dispatched there to guard the moon. And accompany it. It was one beautiful star, and may not be the biggest one in sight, but to Luna, it shined the brightest. Rigell always shined the brightest in her eyes.
"Look at you, still being so handsome even as a star. No wonder I fell in love with you.
"If only you told me you were fighting cancer, I would have fought with you. I would not mind marrying you and having a few years to enjoy that, because I love you so damn much. If you've let me know your situation, would we have a different ending?
"I miss you so much, Rigell. So much."
Luna remained standing there, while an old paper is held.in her right hand. A two year-old letter she's always held so dearly.
My moon,
I know I could not stay with you so I had to say goodbye early. Don't worry, because you know I will always accompany you. I will make sure you'll never feel alone.
Stars may not be seen even in the day, but they're still there. Like a star in the day, I will look at you from afar, and adore you. You may not see me, but know that I am always here. I love you, in a way you always wanted me to feel towards you. I always have. I always will.
Let's have a happy ending in our next life. For now, you are the moon, and I am the star. Goodnight.
-Rigell.
Inspired by this beautiful song: 😭
Title: A Daytime Star
Been a while since I last wrote a fictional story again. The song is an OST of a Web Drama I watched many years ago. One of the best Korean web Dramas I've ever watched.
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touching story, it's true that a woman's feelings are more sensitive than a man's