Put yourself in their Shoes
Do you always compare someone to others?
Do you enjoy doing it?
I hope you are not.
Or have you ever been compared to someone?
How does it feel?
Which are you when being compared? The one that must be the model or the one that must follow the steps of others? Argh. I'm sick of this.
Being compared to your... Siblings?
If you are an only child. Lucky you, there's no way to compare you to your siblings as you don't have.
But if you have, maybe you can hear these words... well I hope not.
Why can't you be like your brothers and sisters? When they are in age like you, they do these things while doing something else! They are good in every subject! They are always on the rankings! I hope you get their talents.
Our mother used to compare us with my other siblings. I guess it is her nature, we compare being the good one, sometimes the bad one. Haha. We don't get her most of the time.
Being compared to your... Friends?
Why didn't you pass the exam? Your friends got a high score while you? You didn't able to reach even half of it! What's wrong with you?! Your friends are doing good in school, academic and other extracurricular activities. Why can't you?!
I encountered this when I'm able to go to my friend's house. It is the time after the exam week and we didn't expect that her mother would react like that. We all passed the exam except her. I mean maybe she can scold her daughter, privately, when we are not there. I hate hearing my friends being scolded. Why just not comfort your daughter? Cheering her up? Talk to her about the reasons so you can help. Tsk.
Being compared to your... Colleagues?
Hey, being compared to the co-workers because of the performance? Eh.
You always failed to submit the report on time, you are the only one! You are always late! Can you not be like others?! Do something good!
Instead of comparing, please educate them to do better at their jobs, motivate them, and train them! Not all people can easily adapt to whatever job is available. I mean, there must be training and development! (Well, if I'm not mistaken, most of the companies do it). Just give more consideration to those employees who did not do well at work. You can ask them what their reasons are. It might be they have problems or they are sick.
Being compared to your... Neighbors? (son or daughter of your mother's friend)
Buti pa yung anak ni ano(kung sinong kumare o kapitbahay) ganito, ganyan. Kayo wala! (that's the exact words, Tagalog para mas dama). It really hurts.
Marami 'to pero 'wag na baka yung mga kakilala ko dito sa personal isumbong ako. XD
Hearing those painful words, make someone demotivated. Some can lead to depression.
So please...
Think! What if you are the one in their position? What if you will find yourself good at nothing? Would you be happy?
Think! What would you feel if you were being compared to others?
Please, do stop comparing!
I know how it hurts, like they are telling you to be someone else. It seems they can't accept you for who you are. You are nothing.
Sometimes it's a nice feeling that someone makes you a role model but isn't when they are dictating you to follow the steps of others.
Do not compare yourself to anyone else! (you are unique)
In a way that you think you are better than others and think that you know everything, because you don't!
And in a way you think that you are not good enough.
You are asking yourself these questions...
Why can't I be intelligent like them?
Why did this happen to me? (always got a low score)
Why am I not good at anything?
I remember, I have read article of @immaryandmerry entitled "Questions from Why to How" which she discussed that why's questions turn into how's.
Now, ask these...
How can I improve? (you are intelligent, everyone is!)
How can I prevent this from happening? (give yourself more time to study)
How to learn those things? (you can be good at something!)
Instead of doubting your capabilities, start making an action on how you can improve. Don't think what others can do. Think what are the ways, to do those things that you thought you can't.
Each of us has a different path. Maybe we cross paths but we don't have the same destination. Be patient and wait for your turn. You will be successful too. Claim it.
Well, I know we can't escape from comparison because it will always be there. But for those people whose habit is to compare, try to put yourself in their shoes!
Thank you for reading! :)
Lead Image Source: giphy.com
dziefem's note:
Stay away from those toxic people. Have a healthy life and heart.
Be mindful of your words.
My previous articles:
What kinds of Classmates fo I have?
0.4 BCH - 1 Month at read.cash
Special Day of Two out of Six Men in My Life
How do I Fight My Stage Fright?
naalala ko, lagi ako nacocompare ni mama dati sa pinsan ko na masipag, at napakatamad ko daw. pero ayon tanggap ko naman yun haha. no hard feelings! chour..
anyway, of course, no one likes to be compared to others... in a negative way. I also don't like it when I am being compared to others even though i'm the one being the model. No, it's not helping. It'll just make them feel more down than they already are. There's a lot of ways to motivate people, let's exclude comparing in a negative way on the list.