Put yourself in their Shoes

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Avatar for dziefem
2 years ago

Do you always compare someone to others?

Do you enjoy doing it?

I hope you are not.

Or have you ever been compared to someone?

How does it feel?

Which are you when being compared? The one that must be the model or the one that must follow the steps of others? Argh. I'm sick of this.


Being compared to your... Siblings?

If you are an only child. Lucky you, there's no way to compare you to your siblings as you don't have.

But if you have, maybe you can hear these words... well I hope not.

Why can't you be like your brothers and sisters? When they are in age like you, they do these things while doing something else! They are good in every subject! They are always on the rankings! I hope you get their talents.

Our mother used to compare us with my other siblings. I guess it is her nature, we compare being the good one, sometimes the bad one. Haha. We don't get her most of the time.

Being compared to your... Friends?

Why didn't you pass the exam? Your friends got a high score while you? You didn't able to reach even half of it! What's wrong with you?! Your friends are doing good in school, academic and other extracurricular activities. Why can't you?!

I encountered this when I'm able to go to my friend's house. It is the time after the exam week and we didn't expect that her mother would react like that. We all passed the exam except her. I mean maybe she can scold her daughter, privately, when we are not there. I hate hearing my friends being scolded. Why just not comfort your daughter? Cheering her up? Talk to her about the reasons so you can help. Tsk.

Being compared to your... Colleagues?

Hey, being compared to the co-workers because of the performance? Eh.

You always failed to submit the report on time, you are the only one! You are always late! Can you not be like others?! Do something good!

Instead of comparing, please educate them to do better at their jobs, motivate them, and train them! Not all people can easily adapt to whatever job is available. I mean, there must be training and development! (Well, if I'm not mistaken, most of the companies do it). Just give more consideration to those employees who did not do well at work. You can ask them what their reasons are. It might be they have problems or they are sick.

Being compared to your... Neighbors? (son or daughter of your mother's friend)

Buti pa yung anak ni ano(kung sinong kumare o kapitbahay) ganito, ganyan. Kayo wala! (that's the exact words, Tagalog para mas dama). It really hurts.

Marami 'to pero 'wag na baka yung mga kakilala ko dito sa personal isumbong ako. XD


Hearing those painful words, make someone demotivated. Some can lead to depression. 

So please...

Think! What if you are the one in their position? What if you will find yourself good at nothing? Would you be happy?

Think! What would you feel if you were being compared to others?

Please, do stop comparing!

I know how it hurts, like they are telling you to be someone else. It seems they can't accept you for who you are. You are nothing.

Sometimes it's a nice feeling that someone makes you a role model but isn't when they are dictating you to follow the steps of others.


Do not compare yourself to anyone else! (you are unique)

In a way that you think you are better than others and think that you know everything, because you don't!

And in a way you think that you are not good enough.

You are asking yourself these questions...

Why  can't I be intelligent like them?   

Why did this happen to me? (always got a low score)

Why am I not good at anything?

I remember, I have read article of @immaryandmerry entitled "Questions from Why to How" which she discussed that why's questions turn into how's.

Credits to @immaryandmerry

Now, ask these...

How can I improve? (you are intelligent, everyone is!)

How can I prevent this from happening? (give yourself more time to study)

How to learn those things? (you can be good at something!)

Instead of doubting your capabilities, start making an action on how you can improve. Don't think what others can do. Think what are the ways, to do those things that you thought you can't.

Each of us has a different path. Maybe we cross paths but we don't have the same destination.  Be patient and wait for your turn. You will be successful too. Claim it.

Well, I know we can't escape from comparison because it will always be there. But for those people whose habit is to compare, try to put yourself in their shoes!

Thank you for reading! :)

Lead Image Source: giphy.com


dziefem's note:

  • Stay away from those toxic people. Have a healthy life and heart.

  • Be mindful of your words.


My previous articles:

What kinds of Classmates fo I have?

Just Cry and Get Paid?

My Suicidal Thoughts

0.4 BCH - 1 Month at read.cash

Special Day of Two out of Six Men in My Life

I hate My Father!

How do I Fight My Stage Fright?

Six Years With You and Counting

Someone made me Pregnant!

How do you Interpret Songs?

Different Types of People that I've Encountered

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Avatar for dziefem
2 years ago

Comments

naalala ko, lagi ako nacocompare ni mama dati sa pinsan ko na masipag, at napakatamad ko daw. pero ayon tanggap ko naman yun haha. no hard feelings! chour..

anyway, of course, no one likes to be compared to others... in a negative way. I also don't like it when I am being compared to others even though i'm the one being the model. No, it's not helping. It'll just make them feel more down than they already are. There's a lot of ways to motivate people, let's exclude comparing in a negative way on the list.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Ayon naman pala hahaha.

Same here. Hindi ako natutuwa kahit ako yung ginagawang modelo. Kasi mas nalukungkot ako don sa kinukumpara sakin.

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2 years ago

kaya nga diba. ang sad lang. why naman ganon? haha

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2 years ago

Ako dun sa pamangkin ni Mommy Ding, na kesyo ganito ganiyan ganire. Tapos sa huli nagpa buntis lang naman tapos ano ngayon may utang sa kanya na di pa nababayaran, galit na galit mandin sya, pero nagka usap naman na sila ahahaha. I mean, nagbigau na ng paunang bayad ganern ahaha. Hate na hate ko yang comparing na yarn. Ikumpara na nila ako sa kuhol wag lang sa ano ,🙄

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Sarap sungalngalin nang isang yan aa. Hahaha. Pag compare lang yata sa abs ng mga boys yung masaya e. 😂😂😂

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2 years ago

Wahahaha, true abs lang. Pero oag kapatid at pinsan or whoever na ponsio pilato aguyy, gyeraaa

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2 years ago

Bugbugan na this. HAHAHA

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2 years ago

Ako minsan pag kasama ko si mama tas nakita nya kaklase ko minsan sinasabi nya yung kaklase mo ang laki na at mataba ikaw ang payat🤣. Minsan tumatawa nalang ako haha. Pero minsan nalungkot din

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Bakit feeling ko binully ka ng mama mo hahaha. Sa kabila talaga ng tawa minsan may nakatagong lungkot.

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2 years ago

Huhu nung bata pa ako, lagi akong kinokompara sa cousin ko. Ngayung malaki na ako, kinukumpara parn ako huhu. Like hey, stop comparing me with other people, I have my own path to take.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Sad to hear that. We can't really escape from comparison. Hays

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2 years ago

The line in the poem Desiderata that really hits me hard is: Do not compare yourself to others, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. And because I live by that creed, I hate being compared to others even more. I am my own person, I march to my own drum. My mother was like yours, and in a sense, she broke my spirit when I was young. I just learned to make myself whole growing up, discovering my strengths and doing the best I can without having to measure myself against others.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Yes we are unique. We are not all the same, there are people that are good at something and not. We just need to accept the fact that all of us are not equal in terms of having talents and capabilities. It is sad that our own family is one of the reasons for us to have low self-esteem. Happy to know that through it you were able to discover your strengths. Thanks for passing by. :)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Naranasan ko na yan. Pero pinakamasakit? Yung e compare ako sa mga kaedad ko dati na na nakatapos na tas may work na samantalang ako nakatambay kasi di makapag aral. Tapos nung nakapag aral na, ayun e compare na namna kesyo ganito ganyan. Tapos nung nakapasa sa exam, compare ulit bakit daw si ano may work na samantalang ako andito sanbahay nakatambay. Haayyy nako, mga kapitbahay na walang magawa.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Haysss nakakainis talaga yang mga nagcocompare na yan mga walang magawa sa buhay. Hindi nila maisip yung pinagdadaanan ng tao, puro panghuhusga tsskk

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Laging kinokompara mga kapatid ko sakin kasi nageexcel ako sa school. Kahit ganto d rin ako natutuwa para sakin at lalo na sa mga kapatid ko.

Lagi kong kinokumpara sarili ko sa iba, medj nakakababa ng confidence pero namomotivate din ako mag improve

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yan din, hindi ko gusto na ginagawa akong halimbawa kasi nalulungkot ako para sa kanila. Ewan.

Maganda yan, sa una talaga bababa confidence mo pero by that mamomotivate tayo na dapat mag improve

$ 0.02
2 years ago

We can NEVER be the same. Every one is unique in his/her own way... Its delimiting to compare one person to another.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yes indeed, we have different paths too.

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2 years ago

Ito ang reason kung bakit may mga nagkakaroon ng away sa mga kaibigan ko dahil yung ibang kaibigan ko kinocompare na mas maganda si ganito mas magaling si ganito.. Ganyan din pagdating sa Love Nag cocompare din sila kung sino ang mas maganda yun ang kanilang Liligawan, sa mga tao talaga hindi ito maiiwasan lalo na sa mga kapitbahay naming chismisa. Ako minsan nacocompare ko din ang sarili ko sa mga kapatid ko kasi Bilang panganay obligasyon ko ang lahat para sa gawaing bahay kaya minsan naiingit ako sa ibang mga kapatid ko. Pero hindi ko pa naranasan na ikukumpara ako sa iba kasi mabait akong kaibigan sakanila 😊

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2 years ago

Haha ganon talaga lalo na sa high school puro payabangan. Nakakarindi. Iba talaga pag panganay. Ako naicocompare but in a good terms.

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2 years ago

Kilimitan yan sa mga lalaki. Puro payabangan puro nagpapapogian haha may nga nagpapagalingan pa sa mga subject 😅 basta ako nung highschool chill lang ako 😊

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2 years ago

Sa mga classmate ko naman na boys wala akong naririnig. Chill lang din ako non, sa math lang ako competitive, dati. Ngayon college hindi na. 😂

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2 years ago

Nakss sana all math haha ayoko talaga ng math 😅 dyan ako mahina e

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2 years ago

Ganon talaga yata daw, magaling sa english, sa math hindi and vice versa. Naol magaling sa english 😂

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2 years ago

Am not sure though kung kinocompare ako ng parents sa iba.. Pro minsan sabi ni papa, "bat d ka magwork sa Canada, yung anak ni kuan andun na.." 😅.. Pro my times na kinocompare ko self ko sa achievements ng iba, mga classmates ko nung h.s. and col na successful na now.. D maiwasan eh..kya nga iniiwasan ko na ang FB.. Andun kc sla 🤣

$ 0.05
2 years ago

I think hindi naman po kayo nicompare ni papa mo, it's like suggestion or just a statement. Hihi.

I also have this classmate na nag stop ng studies pero dami na achievements may sarili na ring bahay dahil sa work niya(ewan ko kung ano) by that namomotivate ako, sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na "soon, makakapag post din ako nyan" hahaha. It depends talaga pano natin itetake e 🤣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Eto pinaka ayoko sa lahat. Naranasan ko yan hindi sa akin kundi sa anak ko , tho naranasan ko pala dati pero move on na ako don haha.

Kaya yung anak ko nalang share ko . Maliit Kasi to Kaya laging nakukumpara. Tapos malambot pa , 1 year old na dipa sya naglalakad saka nagsasalita , dumating nga sa point na umiiyak ako sa kwarto Kasi feeling ko may pagkukulang ako tapos ngayon mag 3 years old na sya bibo at matalino. Yung mga dating nagsasabi sa kanya ng negative words ngayon hanggang hanga sa kanya Kaso eto na Naman sila sa kumpara. Kesyo Yung anak ni ganito dipa marunong mag ABC ganito ganyan.

Sinasabi ko nalang sa kanila , ganon talaga. Iba iba development NG Bata.

$ 0.05
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Haha ayan move on talaga dapat tayo.

Yun nga po e, hindi ko maisip tong mga nagcocompare sa mga bata, e hindi naman sabay sabay nag bubloom. Yung iba nga college lang lumalabas yung talino e. Ako ewan ko kung kelan sakin 😂

Tsaka it's possible na hindi sila masyadong naglalaan ng oras para turuan anak nila kaya lalong mabagal development ng bata.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

"Being compared to your... Colleagues?" I'll just personally comment on this nak coz I also handle training sessions and about the one comparing to others. some of us trainers make some comparisons not to demotivate the employee but to put some encouragement to them "She's so good in this area of skills but bad on the other skills so maybe you excel on the other side, just keep on learning, I'll guide you all the way" we kinda approach them like that you might think it's harsh but there is some kind of tactics a trainer must do in order for the employee to show their hidden talents and capabilities.. I agree with you on not being compared with other people. I'll just have my say on this sorry nak....heheh

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Don't be sorry maaa. Thanks for sharing this one hihi. I didn't know that it being compared. One of our professors told us that it is assessment only, identifying where the employess good at. They are evaluating it and not pointing out to all employees. I mean not in a way that comparing them, kumbaga they tell them kung saan mahina at malakas yung isang employee. Sa sinabi niyo po na "She's so good in this area of skills but bad on the other skills so maybe you excel on the other side, just keep on learning, I'll guide you all the way" I interpret it na ginagawa niyo lang example yung isa sa nakararami and I don't find it harsh po hihi. May iba iba talaga tayong interpretation. Haha. Para akong nakikipag debate. I like this one, ma! 😁

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2 years ago

heheh...kasi i'm a trainor myself naman kasi at eto ginagawa ko sa mga bago naming recruit na employees ☺☺

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes nga po hehe

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2 years ago

Nako, ilang beses na ko naicompare haha. Dati subra masakit, pero kalaunan, bahala sila. Di naman ako ni pressure ng mga magulang ko kaya pabayaan ko na mga sinasabi ng ibang tap lalo na kung tungkol sa trabaho. Wala eh, nature na ng iba na gumawa ng issue.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Kami hanggang ngayon sa ibang kabataan hahaha. Pero hindi in academic kasi nag eexcel kami kuno. 😂 Mabuti naman sis at hindi nampressure parents mo hehe. Tama, hayaan na talaga ibang tao, bumula bibig kakagawa ng issue 😂😂

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2 years ago

Comparison can give you temporary comfort but it can someone permanent hurt. So be positive make your aim and target them without any comparison.

$ 0.03
2 years ago