Develop Control Over Anger!
**May 4th, 2022.**
Developing control over anger is essential to the success of the many objectives you will pursue in life. Understanding the reasons for your anger and taking productive actions to control it are the first steps on the road to success.
First, it's helpful to understand where anger comes from. Anger is often associated with strong negative feelings that can range from mild irritation to overwhelming rage.
According to the American Psychological Association, people of all ages are affected by anger. And while sometimes you can't avoid becoming angry, it's not healthy to allow your anger to control you. In fact, your anger can have a devastating effect on others and on your relationship with yourself.
The question of how to control anger has been a problem for human being since long time ago, it is considered as one of the human being basic behavior, to express and communicate one's emotion, this is why Angry Bird was born on the mobile phone screen.
When people are angry, they can often say and do things that they later regret. When anger is expressed inappropriately, it can erode relationships and cause stress, leading to health problems and, in extreme cases, violence.
Developing control over anger begins with understanding the true nature of anger.
In the past, when I was angry, it was because I thought something wrong had happened to me. I thought the reason I was angry was because someone else had done something bad to me. I thought my anger was a reaction to what others had done.
**Quotes from Life**
To see if you have this kind of mind, put yourself in this situation: Someone cuts in front of you in line at the post office, and you get angry. You think: "How dare they cut in front of me. This pisses me off!" But what if you weren't in line? Would you be angry? You wouldn't be angry at all.
In the same way, when someone cuts in front of you, recognize that you weren't doing anything and that they were simply driving their own car. They were just driving their own car! And as soon as you realize this, your anger will simply disappear.
The following are some quotes and questions to reflect on. These can help us to think about the nature of anger, how to access our feelings and the need to contain anger in constructive ways.
*"Without feelings, thoughts are useless, but with them one can achieve anything."*
*"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."*
*"There is a remedy for anger, delay."*
*"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."*
*"Worry about your anger, not whether it is 'justified' or not."*
One way of developing control over anger is to slow down when anger arises. One of the best ways to do this is through breathing exercises. We need to remember that when we are angry most of us breathe very quickly. We can use breathing as a way of slowing down.
Yoga and meditation are also ways of gaining control over anger.
The thinking is that when we are in a calm state we are less likely to become angry than when we are in an anxious state. We learn to relax by focusing on our breathing, body and mind and allowing ourselves to relax and be present in the moment. It doesn't matter if we are not able to meditate or do yoga for long periods of time because each moment of relaxation will help us to be less troubled by anger.
**Conclusion:**
**Are you Angry?**
To understand what triggers your anger and whether or not you have an anger problem, try to have an open mind. Hold no grudges, forgive hurts easily, then you'll be fine.
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Hello read cashers. I have after so much thoughts decided to open a new account.
@QueenRay has not been receiving tips for over two months now, even after the long wait to receive its visit.
So, I've decided to open a new account. Please I will need our support 🙏😔😢. Thanks in advance.
Do you really want to be Happy?
Happiness is NOT something we need to start praying for.
God has already answered that prayer long ago before you were even formed in your mother's womb.
Every human being is born with an amazing innate ability to pursue after their happiness.
Neither is happiness something that one should wish for because happiness does not depend on how rich you are or how much materials you possess.
Happiness is something you design on your own.
Being happy has to do with our attitude and how we tackle things in life. Happiness to me is a skill that we can learn and has to do with deciding to be happy.
*A big thanks to my Sponsors. Thanks for always being there.*
**To stay happy:**
**Make the Decision to be Happy.**
Choosing a happy life is, in itself, the path to living a healthy life.
Happiness is NOT prepared solely for any particular faith or religion. And religion is not a path to one's happiness.
**Stop Comparing Yourself with People**
Comparing one's self with others is the GREATEST impediment to human's happiness.
There is one thing that you’re better at being than any other person: and that is being YOU. Being YOU is the only game you can win.
**Stop Making Efforts to Impress Others.**
It takes a lot of energy trying to compete with other people or trying to impress those whose approval you seek.
**Encourage the Practice of Gratitude.**
Practising gratitude is a very important strategy to be happy. Gratitude means putting all our focus on the things you have instead of putting it on the things you lack. Gratitude is mostly about you celebrating your present life and also being thankful for the joy and gladness you are experiencing.
**Always Look for the Goodness in Things**
It is very easy to see the bad sides. Instead of seeing the bad sides, focus on the positive sides only.
**Celebrate Yourself**
You are worthy to be celebrated. You shouldn't wait until it's your birthday or when there's a holiday before you celebrate yourself. Appreciate yourself.
Build your confidence in yourself by recognizing and appreciating your greatness anytime it comes.
Congratulate yourself for your successes, no matter how small or big it is.
Use your small wins to generate strength for the upcoming ones. You will realize that it is one of the bravest ways to stay happy.
**If it's PAST, Let it GO**
This is another great hindrance to people's happiness (holding on to the past)
The past is done already! There is no amount of worrying or wasted emotions that will change the fact that the past is gone already.
So, let it go!!!
As you grow as a person, you learn to see these past events as stepping stones toward a brighter and better future.
BE HAPPY & STAY SAFE ❣
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Thank you so much @Emily2u for the renewal of sponsorship. It means a lot to me.
Thank you @Bloghound for renewing your sponsorship. It really means a lot to me. I'm grateful.
Dead but Married
**12/10/21**
**The story I write on today is based on a true life Story I was told some times back.**
Dan lived in his village before the unfortunate hand of death snatched him from his parents. He was highly loved and cherished by his parents being the only male child of the family. He was a young promising man who died at a critical time when his parents thought it was time to reap from their labour.
Due to my faith I don't believe in reincarnation because my bible states expressly in Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:" But I have not been able to reconcile my bible quotation with real life events surrounding Dan's death and reincarnation. Dan died in the early 2000's... in his village in Ijumu Local Government, Kogi State of Nigeria and was buried at the backyard of his father's compound; a type of burial to keep the memory of loved ones.
Also around year 2002, Mary got hooked up with a guy she met in a 3 day seminar program. One thing led to another other and they started dating. Their courtship lasted for 16 months and they got married at St. Dominic Catholic Church Yaba, Lagos.
How and why Mary got married to Dan without knowing any member of his family is the riddle in this story.
They were married for 4 years, Mary never know Dan's people nor his place of origin. How did Mary's people allow their daughter get married to a total stranger? That wouldn't have been possible in this era of telecommunication breakthrough, technological advancement and social media.
The agitation to know Dan's family and place became unbearable for Dan as his wife mounted pressure on him daily for 4 years to take her to his place and people. Medicine after death approach!
In 2006, it was obvious Dan could no longer twist or lie to his wife why he couldn't take her to his place and people. He agreed in September to take all the family, himself, his wife and two children home for Christmas. Plans were set out and there was joy and temporary relief to Shade over the intended trip to her husband's place.
On 23rd of December they all set out for the journey. They had shopped for Dan's parents a day before their journey. Their car booth was loaded with foodstuffs, clothes, beverages and all manner of gifts. The journey took them almost a day. They arrived Dan's village at about 7pm.
Few miles to Dan's family house, he stopped over in a mall to help his father pick a particular wine he use to like. He packed and entered in to the mall leaving his wife and children in the car.
15 minutes later he was not out of the mall and his wife became apprehensive and worried. If it was this era she would have put a call through to him to know the reason for the delay. After 20 minutes she went into the mall searching for her husband but all to no avail. What would have happen? No one claimed to have seen anybody who looked like her husband in the wine shop. Both the owner of the shop and shop attendant attested to fact that no man of such nature had entered into the shop within the period she claimed.
The mall was four houses away from Dan's family house. In tears she drove down to Dan's house and met everything the way Dan told her. While still in tears she introduced herself and the children to Dan's family.
Where is Dan? The old man asked!
She narrated the story of how he went to the mall to pick a wine for the father and never came out again. The man and his wife looked at each other and tears rolled out of their eyes simultaneously. Tears rolled like a flowing river. What an unbelievable story. Dan's wife could not comprehend when they told her Dan died in 1982 and was buried at the backyard. They took her to his graveside and called in neighbours for their testimony of Dan's death.
The family had no reason to doubt Mary because the children looked exactly like Dan. All that she told them about Dan her husband were true beyond what any person can frame up. Mary had been married to a dead man for four years without knowing.
Dead but married!
The woman and the children were incorporated into the family but Dan is no more. When they returned back to Lagos no one could trace where Dan claimed to be working.
**MORAL LESSONS:**
For those singles out there that are yet to be married, don't marry a stranger because you are desperate. Try to know the origin of the man/woman you want to marry.
For those who are married already, how much do you know about your spouse? It is not enough to know your spouse is from a place; it's expedient to know the place and be sure.
Who are you about to marry?
Who are you married to?
Food for thought!
You've got Time and Season in your Hands
God created time and so He exists OUTSIDE of it. He is not governed by time or subject to time.
We can say Time is a tool (like a screwdriver) in God’s hands, and not a box that contains Him.
I got to work this morning and started reflecting on how time works. There's always time for everything. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to sow and a time to reap, a time to plant and a time to harvest, a time of plenty and a time of little.
As we do this thing called LIFE with God, we need to grasp that God does not relate with time the same way that we do. We as human beings work in/with time while our God works outside of it.
While we are always in a hurry to get this done and to get that done, God cannot be hurried, forced or pushed into doing anything. He will do what He will do when He will do it.
**A song writer thought deeply about this and wrote;**
*You've got times and seasons in your hands*
*You called for light out of darkness*
*You don't need a man to be the God you are*
*You have chosen to call be your own.*
God is not under pressure. God is not running out of time and, if you are operating on His own divine clock, neither are you. He doesn't need a man for Him to be who He is, neither does he need anyone to reign supreme.
Everything will happen for you in LIFE in God’s own way, at God’s own appointed time.
Continue to be happy for those who have run ahead of you and are doing well. As our God is not bound by the confines of time, it takes Him nothing to close a twenty year gap in one year or less.
**Are you a student seeking admission, your mates are ahead of you as they are currently in higher institutions, your admission is on the way, wait for your time.**
**Are you a graduate seeking for a good job, all your mates have gotten one, your multi-national job is coming, wait for it.**
**Your mates have given birth, while you are yet to get a spouse, talkless of getting married and giving birth, wait for your time.**
The God who can make the sun stand still, there is nothing He cannot do.
That which you are expecting will all happen in God’s way, at God’s time.
We need to understand the times and seasons in which we are living. We need to understand what God is doing in our various lives. If we do not understand the times and what God is doing, we will not know what to do.
**Another song writer writes:**
*You still raise the dead, you still heal the sick*
*You still mend the broken hearts, nah you way*
*You still hear our prayers, you still answer when we call, you always keep your promise, nah your way.*
There is a season and a time to every single activity that happens in life. While some make hay while the sun shines and act on their assignments very early, some don’t do anything about it until the 11th hour, which then results in rewards or consequences, whichever the case may be.
But in whatever season you find yourself, it is your responsibility to understand the purpose of God for your life. Only the Holy Spirit can fully understand and help you maximize every season of your life as life is in phases.
God changes the game you find yourself playing by helping you in analysing, understanding, and appreciating all the critical and crucial seasons and moments of your life.
God will make every thing beautiful in His own time, according to His word, He hath set the world in the heart of man, so that no man can find out the work that He made from the beginning to the end.
The most important thing is for you to get yourself prepared for that time/season, you are expecting, be it physically, financially, maritally, socially, mentally, health-wise, job-wise. Your time will come.
Though it tarries, wait for it, be expectant and wver prepared for God's time which is always the best for us.
Do you want to see a new dimension of grace in your life? Or you want to make a difference in life. Align yourself with God, let Him help you make the most use of every season in your life.
Have a wonderful day!
Check out my sponsors posts. Thanks to all that just renewed their arm stretched love.
***Note that:***
There’s no other way to navigate your seasons appropriately without having the Spiritof God which guides and directs us in life. Take full advantage of my seasons because you are present.
It's been a while I've dropped an article, my job has been demanding and I only get to rest at nights only, plus the fact that Rusty is on a break on my articles 😅🤣😂😆, so I went on a little break too and only come online once in a while to visit people's article when I can.
This month has been a big one for me. After I left my 3 weeks orientation camp, I travelled to my school for some few amendments, Also went for my friend's mum's burial. I also started work as well and it has been so strenuous.
A big Thanks to @Tired_momma for the sponsorship renewal and also @Princess_Busayo. Thank you so much.
Thanks @King_Gozie for always been there. You've been an amazing and dear friend. Thanks for all you do.
Alert!!! Pigs eating Golds, Village People at work.
Dear Writer;
**It is high time you stopped giving your gold to pigs!**
A lot of writers face critics and a good number of writers have beautiful content but are never noticed.
This is not your village people's work, it is how you positioned yourself as a writer.
If you've not been seeing the message you share with your pen as a big deal before, today, I'm telling you that it is a gold💥
Treat your contents as gold and take it to people that will value gold.
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
Enough of trying to convince the people who can't recognise gold.
Go out there and get the right set of people for your content.
Recently, I found out that I dread my writing schedule. I was bored, tired of writing, busy traveling for urgent needs and the likes. I had lost the joy I find whenever I write. Is it time to abandon your writing prowess once you lose your joy?
Or is there a way you can return to your old joy and find the fun in your writing project and get the joy of writing again?
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
You need to Identify the killer of joy
Firstly, I asked myself some questions about why I was dragging on writing an article, and what drained my energy.
Why am I putting so much pressure on myself? which at the end of the day is not yielding any result.
Maybe you have set a goal to write about 800 words a day, between 20 and 30 posts per month, and you have missed this target.
Are you still beating yourself up about how you should have made up for those days you missed somewhere? That might be a joy killer.
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
You might have put a book or story on hold in your files which you plan to revisit later and it’s been calling at you. If you think you should have already finished it, that might steal your joy.
Joy killers often start with the word “I should…”. We really need to change what we expect in order to find joy. Rather than saying “I should write a thousand words today,” probably you can try saying, “I can’t wait to see what {insert character’s name} is going to write today and work on writing it.
Language is so powerful and our choice of words can change the way we view a task.
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
Try to find the fun you do derive in writing again
Some things we do daily inspire more joy than others, but we can make a choice to ensure that we write with fun.
I do ask myself when I write, “What do I love about this story I'm writing on?”
A friend of mine once suggested writing scenes for me, they were so out of order and it kept me dragging the story back and forth. Ideas kept crawling in.
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
“If you’re bored when writing, know that the reader is too,”.
Even a short prompt or challenge can provide you with a needed dose of fun in the midst of a any challenging process you find yourself. Finding those sparks will lighten you up and help you keep going.
**Please know that this period you're in shall pass**
If everything else fails, imagine the end when you publish your articles or perhaps you printed your written book, and it's in your hand. The efforts you put into it, the sleepless nights you had, and all the times you had to rewrite will pay off one day.
You can repeat from time to time that, “This too shall pass.” Get back to work, write and find joy again!
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
Find Lasting Joy
Writing can be a long and tiring process, it takes lots of time and effort, sweat, and tears to turn that idea which stores up in your imagination into published articles or stories.
But it doesn’t have to be painful. When your writing is getting you down, use these strategies to rekindle your joy and revitalize your writing.
It will be more than worth it in the end!
I've come to realize that writing is not always about us publishing. For many people, the pure joy of putting their words and thoughts on paper is an achievement enough.
**Stop giving your gold to pigs!**
This article is basically a message to all and myself in particular. I wrote it because I needed to find my joy and stop wasting time.
Thanks for reading through.
Lead image https://www.quotemaster.org/images/3f/3f0b94edef68a6f26e3b95bbe49bfddc.jpg
Thanks @Emily2u for the generous renewal of sponsorship. I really appreciate it.
Character Fortifies Beauty
**A rich man of today may turn poor tomorrow.**
Riches are like a sea, sea is like wind of Riches. They all can leave a house. But character stays even beyond the grass. Money is nothing. Character is the beauty of human.
If you have money but if you don't have Character. Who will trust you for a good deal? As a beautiful lady, you are far from good behaviours. Who will marry you as a wife? And you are a dubious fellow? You are an intelligent person, who will give you money related work or duties?
Take care of your Character, my friend.
**When there is no Character, knowledge, beauty perishes.**
Everybody needs a good person. Like father, like son.
Children will always take after their parents.
When you see a king you will know, likewise a slave. When you now decide to bring a slave to the palace, the slave will still behave as a slave.
And he will like to give the horses grass to eat. Brave men begot brave children. A child of a reputable person does not misbehave otherwise he or she is worthy of death. Because no matter how little palm-oil is, it will still stain a white cloth.
You better think twice, my friend, and hear what I am telling you.
You are to keep healthy relationships and avoid unhealthy relationships. Treat everyone equally, let your integrity speak. Be a good example to people around you.
According to Michael Josephson, Character is the moral strength to do the right thing even when it costs more than you want to pay.
**Having a good character is the single most important attribute of a successful and worthy life.**
A person who is very beautiful but have no positive or good character is personally condemning his/her beauty. Someone who is beautiful but has very ugly character can never contribute anything good in a family, in a society or even in the country at large.
Beauty is just an ordinary quality which will fade away at any time, but when we talk of beauty, people mostly view it to be about one's good-looks, the appearance in terms of body shape, face, sexy eyes, and the likes but it is not. The major beauty one must possess is your character.
**So, What exactly should we say is beauty when one is without character?**
I can boldly say Your character is your beauty, and so if you have a positive character then you are extremely beautiful. I must say that the only recipe of **BEAUTY Is GOOD CHARACTER.**
The way you treat people, or let's say the way you approach people, or the way you decide to handle issues are the things that defines your character which is your beauty.
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But note that if you do not know how to do use your character positively then you have absolutely no beauty, that is, if you do not know how to respond when situations, circumstances and problems of life arises then it means you have no beauty because those are the things that determines your character.
That which we have inside of us is more valuable and important than that which is outside. We can say it is only the inner beauty of a person that matters in life.
**What we have in the inside is much more beautiful than whatever it is we have outside us.**
This inner attribute is the real beauty i’m trying to portray!
Once you have a bad character, let me categorically say you are not beautiful at all.
If you are a person who is so quarrelsome and causes trouble wherever you find yourself, people can not associate with you even if you are as beautiful as Cinderella on the outside. Your ugly character will not only cause people to de-associate from you but it will also cause you hindrances to opportunities even in the labour market, because no sensible person would want to do business with a person with a bad character who can cause the downfall of their organization/company.
If you are a rude or an heartless person, then there's no way you can receive the favour of men.
Your beauty does not have to do with your looks BUT it has everything to do with how you are as a person and even how you make others see themselves, this is the character I’m talking about.
Try to build your character, that is, your beauty. It is these character that will fascinate your inner beauty.
You can build your character by being polite to people, be kind, be generous, be forgiving, be understanding, do not criticise others, do not condemn others as well etc.
That is what we call beauty and it is very beautiful and lovely, and it enhances our living as humans.
Even the bible admonishes in Proverbs 11:22, that:
**A beautiful woman who rejects GOOD SENSE is like a gold in a pig’s snout.**
So, let's build our character.
All images gotten from Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/s/photos/character-fortifies-beauty
Good morning/evening/night everyone. Hope we are all fine. Its night here in Nigeria and its really been a long while I've been active on these community, I've been seriously hooked, from one engagement to the other. I'd try to read as much as possible articles tonight before sleeping.
Thinking your worries OR Thinking the way out
8/9/21 QueenRay
Are you worried about anything whatsoever? People get diagnosed daily with anxiety disorder which includes panic disorder which is often as a result of struggle with chronic worrying.
For instance, you may be worried about things that have not even happened or things that are out of your control, such as the welfare, health issues or even the safety of your loved ones or the current cost of living.
Worrying overboard can become a very heavy burden which would weigh negatively on your relationship with people, your **self esteem, your** career, and even other aspects of your life. Worrying can also impact your life emotionally or mentally, and this can contribute to your symptoms of panic and anxiety.
if we consider how disruptive and dangerous worrying can be, you might be wondering on how one can stop one's-self from worrying so much. Even though you may be so open to worrying, you must nor allow the behaviour to control your life.
Are you Thinking about your Worried/Troubles?Listed below are some easy tips that would help you stop worrying excessively.
Go way beyond Procrastination
Investing your time and energy on your worries instead of taking proper decisions or steps to solve this problems can become a form of **procrastination**.
Many people spend their time worrying about what they need to do instead of actually using that time to accomplish their tasks. In addition to this, putting off the responsibilities you need to deal with immediately will only add to what you worry about.
Go past your procrastination by making a list of all of the things that you need to do. Every time you start worrying about other things you need to take care of, add it to the list you made. By writing a to-do list, you get all of those thoughts out of your head and they remain on paper.
Talk It Out with Someone
You may be so relieved if you share your thoughts and worries with a trusted friend or a member of your family. When you open up to a loved one, he/she can be a great source of support, providing you with advice/empathy and even understanding which is needed per time.
Friends and family can offer you valuable advice which you might not even think of, and these will in turn give you a different perspective about your problems.
Note that sometimes, it might be difficult for even the most patient loved one you have or trust to always be available to listen to your worries all the time. If you are a person who worries too deeply, it might be better you consider getting help from a professional who can help in treating anxiety disorders.
Also, the people who go through anxiety and one panic disorder or the other often feel scared for no reason and, more often than not, this might lead to the person questioning the state of their own sanity. Some common thoughts that those with a panic disorder might have includes:
"I think I’m having a nervous breakdown!"
"I think I'm loosing my mond"
"What if I’m already going insane?"
"Maybe this is how horrible I'll feel for the rest of my life."
"I hope people don’t ignore me or hate me."
"Why am I still panicking? It’s been a long time now!"
When people are with a panic disorder, one of the most common ‘mistakes’ they make is that they do believe that, if they spend time worrying, they will come to some miraculous thought that will put an end to how they’re feeling.
Unfortunately, this miracle thought does not even exist at all.
**Thinking the Way out**
It's natural to expect something, Many have this thought,
"If I understand why I'm feeling bad, I will definitely know how to fix it."
Human beings have a very unique power of mental simulation (we do not need to put our hand on a hot burner to know that it would be a bad idea for us to touch it).
When we start thinking harder on the solutions to our problems because they are familiar, while we ignore the fundamental problems which either persist or worsen, this often not only leads us right back to where we had started from, but it puts us in a situation which is worse than our former situation.
**Let's take the example of Subsistence Farmers**
The longer subsistence farmers persists with familiar solutions in order to correct declining levels of agricultural outputs, and while at first, it shows improvements to output levels but then got progressively worse with time, the more their children and their able men would choose to leave the villages where they live to go look for greener pastures elsewhere usually in the towns and even in the cities.
They do not wallow in self pity when there's decline in their farm yield, they instead look for the wayout, they think the solution.
That is exactly how we are, when you face a challenge, instead of wallowing in self pity, **why not think the way out.**
**Find out how to go about being free from the challenge. Let's always think about the solution and not compounding the problem by worrying.**
Thanks to all those that reached out to me as regards my last post. God bless you all. May we not be visited with such occurrence.
Good morning friends. @Bloghound I'm so grateful for the sponsorship renewal, it really means a lot to me. Thank you, God bless you.
Breaking News!!! I lost an Icon 😢😭
Bereavement is the name which is being given to the process which one goes through after the death of a loved one.
**When I gained admission into the University, I can remember vividly my first day in class, there's this cool, gentle and smart girl sitting all alone in a corner. I was like this girl is still young, and we are in the same level, wow!!! I smiled at her and she smiled back.**
On getting to my hostel that day, I stay on the 3rd floor, as I was going into my room, I noticed the girl entered a room on the 2nd floor. I went after her, she said that's her room. I was like, woe!!! So I have a course mate that shares the same hostel with me.
She told me her mum was in her room, I immediately went in to greet her out of respect. She was so happy seeing me. And she immediately handed her daughter over to me. She said and I quote " please my daughter is a young girl, take care of her, if there's anything you guys need, don't hesitate to call me, even down to money, I will send it"
**I was like, who is this woman?**
The time after someone's death is often called the mourning period, and people are said to be ‘in mourning’ or to be ‘grieving’ or ‘bereaved’. No matter what people call this time or process, the death of a loved one can be an extremely challenging time. Nobody will request or ask to become a bereaved person, yet it is something that happens to most people every blessed day.
***Back to my story***
From that day henceforth, I and the girl do things in common, we eat, dress, and go to class together. We were so inseparable. Our course mates were awed at the friendship. And some even tried to come in between us, but couldn't.
Then came a day, the Non teaching staff of our institution embarked on a 2-weeks warning strike. They stopped bringing light, there was no water and some started going to class without bathing.
The 3rd day of the strike I went outside to get snack when I saw my friend coming outside the hostel, she said her mum is outside. I turned back, and we both went to greet her.
Immediately she saw us together, she said thank God you are both together, go pack few things, we are going home together. I'll bring you both to school very early every morning. That way you'll have access to water and good food at home. I told her I had to confirm from my parents, of which I did and they agreed. This was the beginning of my timely visit to their place. I typically became a family member.
We all know that we one day will come in our lives that we will face bereavement, but we live in hope that we can avoid it for as long as possible. What no one dares to think about is what it is like to face the death of someone so close to them, let's even say their own child.
Last week I heard that my friend's mum died, she was more or less a mother to me too. Its such a sad 😥 😢news. I just wish I could turn back the hands of time.
I was so devastated and had been down ever since I heard about her demise.
It feels so wrong and so unlikely to happen that we even try not to think about or even dwell on, for fear of tempting fate.
Nevertheless, it is sadly something that many people have to experience. No two people will experience the loss of a close person in the same way or in the same time frame. One could be bereaved through the loss of a young friend, or the loss of an adult. It could be something expected (when there is a terminal illness, for example) or something unexpected (due to anything from an accident to suicide or a sudden outburst of health issue). It can be a peaceful one or a traumatic one.
If you have experienced the death of a loved one, remember that all reactions are natural and normal. Here are some guidelines that might be helpful:
Go so easy on yourself. Dont be too bitter on yourself. Basically you will not be able to do what you normally do as you will keep remembering your times together.
Be calm, and very patient with yourself and even with your emotions.
Avoid making major decisions if possible (changing residence, changing jobs, etc.) for at least a year after the death of your loved one.
Cry as freely and as much as you feel the need. Crying is a very healthy expression of grief, and it releases tension, its better to cry than to bottle up your resentment or bitterness .
Find a very good listener, someone who will just let you talk and tell them things running through your mind.
**This article is a tribute to my friends mum, who took care of me as her own while I was in school. She was a good woman. And a mother indeed. Till we meet to part no more.**
**She would be laid to rest this Friday and I pray for grace to bear the loss. Peace for the family members she left behind.**
So sad!!!
A New Start
Happy new month family🥰🥰🥰
It is that period of year when all our thoughts are centred around thanksgiving and we basically appreciate God daily by setting aside our time to appreciate Him. Having enough time to do things we want to do daily is worth feeling thankful for.
Hopefully this will be a mindset that will forever be present in our daily lives…Having a grateful heart and being appreciative for the many blessings and opportunities we have received is important.
Our lives will get so enriched if we can take the time to be thankful and also to see the good in all that we have and all that we have received.
Even as we all know that people tend to be scared in these month which they tag the "ber" months, let's beware of the things we do in order not to destroy our destinies.
**Being Thankful**
Being thankful is not just about how people feel or the feeling they get after something good has happened to them. It can be regarded as a way of thinking that requires practice and hard work to make it part of one's everyday behavior. It is very easy to forget many of the little things we have to be grateful for in our lives, but it is very important that we do not take anything done for us for granted.
Things To Be Thankful For In Life
From your family's growth, to your first job, the house you built, to the transportation that takes you to that new job of yours, you need to be thankful Below is a list of all the “big” things we need to be grateful to God for daily.
Be thankful you have a family
Be thankful for your wonderful friends
Be thankful for being bestowed with good health
Be thankful for a peaceful home
Be thankful for your job
Be thankful for having healthy food to eat
Be thankful for your academics/education
Be thankful for even your pets
Be thankful for having a good night’s sleep
Be thankful for the seasons we're in
Be thankful for your financial Savings
Be thankful for your weekends/new months
Be thankful for fresh air you get daily
Be thankful for journey mercies
Be thankful for clean water you drink daily, many do not have this grace.
Be thankful for technology
Be thankful for modern healthcare you receive
Be thankful for the good music you hear.
Be thankful because you can give gifts
Be thankful for the gifts you receive.
I am grateful for read.cash, noise.cash, all my sponsors, my subscribers, my able friends here and there.
I'm grateful for knowing this great site which has being of immense help. Though I couldn't meet up with my goals, I'm still grateful. I'm grateful for @TheRandomRewarder . Early last month I was glad Rusty finally remember me. And probably due to the site upgrade and all, I got blacklisted by Rusty again. In all I'm still grateful.
I'm grateful I have made friends here, thankful for the wonderful articles I read daily. @Happyboy thank you. @King_Gozie, I'm grateful as well. And also many others I won't mention but God knows you best and would reward you.
This is September, and we move together again.
**Let me just say these words of prayers to us all these day.**
The month of September shall be a month of spiritual and physical acceleration for us.
In the month of September, nothing dies in our hands.
In the month of September, whatever we touch prosper.
In month of September, we shall hunger for more of God.
In the month of September, we are highly favored and highly lifted.
No evil shall befall us in the month of September.
In the month of September unspeakable joy shall be our experience.
Every goodness in the month of September shall over shadow us.
I separate every member on this platform from the ugly experience in the month of September.
In the month of September, grace shall speak for us, mercy shall us, favor from God and man shall pursue us.
In our business, academy, relationship and walk with God we shall flourish.
*Amen*
Challenge for the "ber" months:
My wish is that we can all turn gratitude and thankfulness into our daily habit instead of only doing it when we get somethingwe tag as a big achievement. If gratitude is not a natural thing for you, then you need to check yourself.
Power my way
28/8/21 QueenRay
What do we do with power, when we are in power?
When we come in power, do we extort the people under us, or show that we are way better than them?
In my country I see people talking down on people in power or government positions daily.
But have we thought about it ourselves that "if I were in power, would I act differently?"
In times of troubles and uncertainty, those who possess power are faced with lots of responsibility than ever before.
Our Leaders are being tasked with the work of giving directions without the help of a roadmap or guide, and whatever decisions they take, would not only affect the success of the affairs of the nation at large but will also impact the safety and well-being of the country people.
Power can be said to be the ability by which we can influence the actions and inactions of people with or without any resistance by using various processes or means to push or prompt the actions.
Power is the ability and enablement to get things done at once. The people who possess power are people who are able to influence how other people behave in order to achieve their own goals or objectives.
Others may try various attempts to make them do certain things, but a leader who is very effective will be able to overcome whatever resistance they face. Although lots of people might be regarding power as evil or corrupt, power in itself is neither good nor bad.
Our Leaders in power can use their power to benefit others or to constrain them, to meet all the goals of the people or to undermine them.
Another way we can view power is by seeing it as a resource which people make use of in any relationship they find themselves.
When a person in power influences their subordinates, it is called downward power. We can think of it as someone who have power over other people.
On another hand, the subordinates can also make use of upward power, they can do this by making attempts to influence the decisions of the person in power.
Indeed, most leaders will depend on their teams to get many things done and in that way they are brought in subjection under the power of team members.
https://www.mcguirelawoffices.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/abuse-power-illustration-powerful-man-crushing-weaker-40461670.jpg
Abusing or misusing power or authority in the process of working can occur both internallyand externally. The effects can bring damage to people's morale and also to their relationships generally.
https://www.familylifecanada.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/bigstock-Dissatisfied-Husband-And-Wife-268123312-2_1000x666-980x653.jpg
A simple way we can define abuse of power is the misuse of a position of power in order to take unjust advantage of people, companies, or even the government.
Abuse of power has been given various definitions, such as white-collar crimes, economic crimes, some call it organizational crimes or occupational crimes, others refer to it as public corruption, well organized crimes, governmental and also corporate deviances.
Acording to the UNESCO in the Ethics Guidance, abuse of power or authority can take various forms.
Examples are:
Bullying or harassing behaviour
Requesting staff to do personal errands or favours
Pressuring staff to distort facts or break rules
Interfering with the ability of a colleague to work effectively (i.e. by impeding access to information or resources)
Link http://www.unesco.org/new/en/ethics-office/ethics-guidance/abuse-of-power-or-authority/
Ways we should Act when in Power
Do not seek to impress people, be real
Try as much as possible to be straightforward with people.
Plan on how to improve yourself through your daily habits.
Find out ways by which you can demonstrate gratitude.
Do not always be the one to have the last word, allow others to express their minds.
Show interestin people, listen to them and take an interest in the things they do.
Be a contribution; make things change for the better.
Never try to apologize for being different.
Develop the ability to stop and think before responding.
Let your words be minimal
Lead image source https://cdn.w600.comps.canstockphoto.com/power-picture_csp26307111.jpg
Wow... Waking up to see a sponsorship message is a thing of gladness. Thanks @Hontop for the sponsorship. Keep growing. Guys check out her post please, she writes well. Thank you.
Hello friends. Please show some love to @OkanlaDavid. He's new on the platform. Thank you all.
No one has it all
23/8/21 QueenRay
Can we have it all?
I don't think so.
No, I do not think one Can Have It All. The idea of having everything we want out of life is flawed, and we should try as much as possible to deal with it.
As you continue to progress in your career and life in general, there are more responsibilities and opportunities that would be tossed at you.
**Nobody has it all figured out at all,** especially not the people who act as if they do and judging you because of it. Trying to pretend to be something you are not because you want to please some judgmental hypocrites is not the way you can live happily. Living the kind of life you want to live is really good.
**Nobody has it all figured out at all**, in the terms of their businesses, their health, their relationships, their money, and even their LIFE.
My amazing sponsors. Check out their posts
Life itself can be said to be a struggle. No matter how much ideal or good your situation is, sooner or later you’re going to be faced with much more suffering.
What increases or compounds the problem is your deepest belief that you keep a secret, thinking that almost everybody else is doing so much better than you are.
That’s because they present themselves to the world as the best of their kind, they show this through pictures and status updates, one that will project how they wish to be perceived not how they really are or how they really feel inside, just the same as you do.
**Do not compare yourself unfavorably**
People who are battling with struggles in order to improve their lives, those who are committed to changing some aspects of their situations which they have come to see as difficult, can’t help but compare themselves unfavorably to those who appear to have it all together. It seems very unfair that some people have things so easy.
Do you really *need* to everything, do you need to have it all?
The pressure to have it all is so strong and very present on social media, which is in itself nearly inescapable these days. Your see you ex-school mates, your friends, even your neighbours are all showing themselves right in your face with their daily posts.
Even if they are not doing that, the captions you see under their photos on their status are more funny than the ones you post and they even do not have any typos.
And you still know that your girlfriend's bra always match the underwear they wear. Meanwhile you're right here trying to find a pair of socks which does not have any holes in them for you to wear.
We all in one way or the other have to make choices and we all have to live with the choices we make.
And the last thing we need to face is the act of feeling pressured, which makes us look a certain way, or worse, to make moves that don't feel right just to feel like we're doing what we really ought to be doing.
The woman who has a career but have no kids, someone who is cool, and does not have to worry at all about how people will react when she says so. Same for a mother who loves the fact that she can stay at home and be with her children always.
How can you really have it to satisfaction?
Are you worried that you don't have it all, or that you do but you're not doing it as well as you should be. Are you filled with fear or fidgeting? It's a fear of not meeting up to standards or meeting up to expectations.
But here are three things I think we should know which is more important than worrying about how we should be living.
1. Be honest at all times
Maybe there's a particular thing or a type of career you don't want. Maybe you want to journey all around the world and ensure you work as needed, write your plans and enjoy your life forever. If this honestly feels like the best of life you want, go ahead with it but do it honestly.
2. Be flexible as well
All your wants and needs will change even as you progress in life and so also will your idea of what "happiness" means, to you. Well that's OK!!!. Do not imagine that you have to figure out all your answers now, and don't assume that the answers you do find will always serve you best. Life changes, and you're allowed to too.
3. Be YOURSELF so matter what you face.
Do not give yourself to worry about how your life seem to someone else or better put how someone else view your life. They are not you. **Your happiness** is no one's business but yours. You centre your happiness around someone else's definition of what happy should be.
**Nobody has it all figured out at all.**
Shoutout to @tired_momma and @Princess for renewing your sponsorship. God bless you both.
Changing people's life for the better
21/8/21.QueenRay
Hello dear, do you know your identity?
What do people best know you for?
Will people see you and appreciate God for bringing them in contact with you?
You don’t really have to bring about world peace before you can change someone’s life.
A simple act of kindness and good attitude goes a long way in improving people's attitudeper day.
The simplest way by which you can make a difference is to be very supportive to the needy.
If you want to support someone directly, find every possible opportunity to stand up for a person who is being victimized by whoever on earth might be victimizing them.
And if you're looking at how to be more proactive, you can consider looking at the ways by which you can improve your own life for the better.
Because when you make others feel happy, you automatically feel happy too.
**How then do we Change People's lives for the better?**
**Let people know that you’re emotionally available to them whenever they need you.**
Remind your friends and family members and loved one's that you’re and will always be there for them, even if you know it deep within you that you can’t do anything to physically change their problem or situation.
When comforting them, bring to their remembrance that they are in control over whatever decisions they make, and that you’ll still give them your support no matter what.
For example, say things like: “I know you’re going through a a lot right now, and I just want you to know that tough times don't last, but tough people do and I'll be here for you if you need anything at anytime.”
**Try to give Compliment to someone in order to make them happy.**
Try to always take at least a minute out of your day to compliment someone, be it your friend, a family member, or even a stranger.
Let them know that they are looking good. Appreciate their outfit, congratulate them if they just had a recent win. Even if it's by just engaging in a short conversation, you can make someone’s life better by letting them know that they‘re gifted, lively and beautiful.
For instance, saying you like someone’s look or their hairstyle if you happen to have an encounter with them serves as compliment to that person at that time. It could even be their outfit you'll acknowledge.
**Tell someone around how much they mean to you.**
Remind your friends and family of how important they are to you. If possible, send them a card with a message attached to it saying how much you love them and how much they mean to you.
If you’re looking for an easy way to change a person's life for good, let them know how much valuable and how irreplaceable they are to you.
**Show an act of kindness to a stranger each day of your life and you won't regret it.**
Make it an habit to do considerate things daily, whether it’s a small act or a large one. If you want to go into a busy building, try to hold the door for the person behind you.
If you have more than enough and you're feeling generous, try to pay for the drink of the next person in line to you.
**Give donations to people who are in a financially rough spot.**
Try as much as possible look for opportunities to help others through their tough times, be it medical or job-related help.
Even if it’s a small amount of money, let someone know that they matter to you and that they’re always in your thoughts by giving them some cash or a check.
By providing financial support to someone in need in a tough time, you’ll definitely be having a positive impact in the person's life.
But note, if someone doesn’t want to be given money, respect their wishes and provide them with emotional support instead.
Don't force it or neglect them because they reject your money.
**Sponsor a child with no privilege in order to improve his/her life.**
You can work with a charity organization that provides for impoverished children around the world, give them the funds they need to live a healthy and functioning life.
Even if you never meet the child you are sponsoring in person, sending a monthly donation to them let's the child know that someone cares about him/her.
When you provide for the less fortunate children, or offer them a better life, you are immeasurably changing their lives for the better.
Thanks @emily2u for the renewed sponsorship. I didn't take it for granted. I'm grateful 🙏
The past three weeks has been so tight for me as I was in Camp for my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), I returned yesterday evening and just got settled today.
Thanks to all my readcash family for always being there. Your display of love was immense. Love you all.
Shoutout to all my sponsors both new and old and thanks for sponsorship renewals.
Pain
14/8/21
Pain is real
Pain is frustrating
Pain can kill
Pain brings sadness
Pain brings tears
Pain makes one lose focus
Pain is depressing
Pain can make one sick
Indeed pain is real and I have come to realize. Only those who go through it knows the feeling.
At some point we question God and ask if He is still there.
We feel we are cursed
We feel the world is crashing right in front of us.
We lose our minds.
We ask if we have committed the worst sin and it not pardonable.
We feel alone and lonely
Its feels like everyone has deserted you.
It feels like your heart is tearing apart.
It feels like the morning will not never come.
It feels like the wound is never going to heal.
It feels like taking your life is the best Option.
But in all we have God's reassurance
Everything is going to be fine just believe.
Morning will come.
The sun will definitely shine again.
So far as well as we are alive there is hope.
The Holy Spirit will comfort us and God's perfect will will be done.
Allow God to take the lead and watch Him heal you.
Calm down dear
Everything will be OK and u will smile again
Pain is basically a general term and it describes the uncomfortable sensations that happens in the body. It emanates from the activation of the nervous system.
When you are in so much pain it can affect your life in more ways than you might even expect. While there might be good days and bad days as well, experiencing pain might cause you to feel sad, angry, anxious, and even hopeless.
Pain might even disrupt your family life and work life and it might also take a toll on one's physical and mental health, it might likewise limit what you ought to do at work and at your leisure time.
People with pain are also with feelings that those around them don’t often understand. Those around them can't understand how pain affects their life as a whole.
Their feelings of pain can cause negative feelings like frustration and resentment towards others and can also increase their stress levels.
Even though medical treatments, physical therapy, and all manner of surgery are important tools to help relieve people from their pain, it’s very important to take bold steps towards managing the effects that the pain might have on you.
The following tips can be of great help to you when dealing with your pain:
**Try as much as possible to manage your stress well.**
When you have a negative feeling, it may be of great impact on the intensity of pain. To find various healthy ways by which one can push through and deal with stress might be of helpin helping you find some relief from any pain you might be going through. When you breathe deeply for instance, it can help you get so relax, relief your tension, and also calm every noisy minds.
**Always be actively involved in things around you if you can.**
By involving in and doing all the things you love doing, you can get focused on other things rather than focusing on your pain. Take up a new hobby, even if you don't like it, make yourself like it. Or better still get involved in social activities. Make sure you know your where you have boundaries. Be very much realistic about the things that you can handle. Know that you can't be jack of all trades.
**Be positively minded.**
Focus on all the positive things that can only make you feel better and not feel more pain. Think about any improvements that you notice in your pain when you feel it and try as much as possible to find the steps you are to take in other to deal with such pain.
**Visualize how well you are.**
For you to really get into a deep state of relaxation where you no longer feel the impact of pain. You will have to use your senses much as possible, try to imagine a situation you find very calming.
Picture yourself sitting in a comfortable chair relaxing. This can help you to place your focus on feeling relaxed instead of feeling stressed or tensed up.
**Try your best to sleep to satisfaction.**
Everything will feel better after you have had a very good night’s sleep. And there’s always a reason for that. When you lack good sleep it can lead to irritability, anxiety, and depression.
On the other hand, when you get enough sleep (like 7 to 8 hours a night for adults) these can help you stay healthy and refreshed, help you think more clearly, improve whatever mood you're in, and also reduce stress.
**Get support once you know you need one.**
When in a support group (even if it's an online one), you can share your experience with other people who have found the ways they can stay positive no matter the pain they are experiencing. This may help you to understand that you are not the only one in this situation
**Be very open with your friends and family.**
When you separate or isolate yourself from other people close to you due to the pain you feel, you may have a negative attitude which can make your pain feel worse. Find activities and hobbies that will keep you ever connected with your friends and family members.
Also, don’t keep everything bottled up. Instead, you need to share how you feel with the people you trust. You may be so surprised at how understanding and supportive they might be when they hear your story. They may also help you see the bright side of things.
If you or someone you know is dealing with pain, talk with your healthcare provider about these and other ways to help manage it.
Pain may be localized, affecting a specific part of your body. Or it may be generalized, such as the overall body aches associated with the flu.
People respond to pain differently. Some people have a high tolerance for pain, while others have a low tolerance. Pain is highly subjective.
Pain lets us know when something is wrong and gives us hints about the cause. Some pain is easy to diagnose and can be managed at home. Other types of pain are signs of serious health conditions that require medical attention to treat.
Esther: The Model
13/8/21
My article for today is centred on my experience here in Camp yesterday. The Miss National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) was chosen. There were lots of criterias in which they were judged by. They all dressed first in Native attires, then they dressed in an English wear, and finally they dressed in their NYSC wear.
They were tested based on their dressing, stepping, comportment, their intelligent quotient(how intelligent they were, because they were all made to answer a question each).
My platoon came second and it was such a great feat for us because we had so little time to prepare, we didn't start preparing when we were meant to. We came out strong but that little slackness drew us back.
While it was going on, I remembered the bible story of Estther in ESTHER 2:13a which says
***"Thus PREPARED, each young woman went to the KING"***
Dear Ladies, that desire to meet and get married to great men, that desire to get married to men call "KINGS"
Amazing sponsors 👏👏
In this Kingdom, there is a protocol to meeting KINGS and it is call **PREPARATION.**
The above verse said,
"Thus **PREPARED**, each young woman went to the KING"
Not thus Beautiful, not thus Figure 8, but thus **PREPARED.**
It isn't about the beauty but the **PREPAREDNESS**.
Preparation was the ticket that granted the young women access to the King.
I know, the World believe all men are the same, but in this Kingdom bah, God have sons, and those sons are Kings, and those sons are not just gifts, they are rewards.
I mean some men, are rewards for preparation, the workload and destinies some men are carrying are so great, God cannot just do tininitanana and the lucky lady get the man, no ma, God is so particular about the help meet of such men.
So it's funny, how so many ladies want to marry great men, but deliberately refuse to prepare in the name of "any man that will love me, must love me for who I am"
If it is in this Kingdom, there are some men God can never give you if you are not prepared.
You know you want to marry a great man, that's a very beautiful idea, but please how prepared are you?
**How about your manner of talking?**
Are you developing yourself ? How knowledgeable are you?
**I'm a woman, I don't need to be rich, I'll live on my husbands wealth. Is that your mentality as a woman?**
Do you carelessly talk nonsense, or are your words seasoned with intelligence?
How about the way you dress?
See this is even just the basics.
I do hear people say, Esther was just a village girl when the King met her and got married to her.
That's true, no doubt, but, when Esther entered the palace as a village girl, she went through one year of preparation before she met the King, in other words..
The version of Esther, that entered the palace, was not the version of Esther that met the King.
**Pause for thought**
Think about the beauty contest that Esther partook in. If you were to be a young woman, and happen to partake in this contest, would you be on the King’s list? It might be a very nice thing to live in a very beautiful palace, but I think it would be very dangerous to make the King angry or upset him in any way.
All the days of her life the Queen would have to thread very carefully about whatever she would say and do around the palace. What about the women who were not chosen as Queen? Could they go back to their various homes, would they get married and have their own families? Probably not. Do you know why I said this? They had already become the property of the King and likely they had to spend the rest of their lives in the King’s harem.
@QueenRay
