You may be thinking now why am I writing about my past experiences when it comes to relationships or break-ups. The reason is, I just thought it might be interesting for everyone who might read it.
So in this article, let me share a story about the worst moving-on process that I have been through in my life. I only have two ex-boyfriends, and one of them made me experience the worst moving-on journey. Do you want to know how and why? Then, you must continue scrolling.
I know that some users here already experienced the moving-on process. And since I have been in two break-ups, it is obvious that I have also been in that situation. Let me share a story about those two moving-on process that I went through.
My first ex-boyfriend who was my partner for 3 years did not gave me too much heartache when we broke up. I mean, I treasured the memories I had with him and did not regret them. The time interval before I got into another relationship was 2 years. And no, the process of moving on did not take two years. I just enjoyed being single that time.
In my last ex-boyfriend, that is when I experienced the worst moving-on process. I already told you guys that I am always the one who says the magic word when breaking up. I am always the one who is brave enough to tell them that I am done. But in my last ex-boyfriend, the memories hit me.
Not the good memories, but the ones where I was treated unfairly. The memories of betrayal, sleepless nights, and pain that he made me feel during our relationship bothered me.
The worst thing about this moving-on process is when I had to look back. I did not cry because I lost him or because we will not be together again. I cried because he betrayed me, belittled me, and made me question my worth as a woman when we were together. I cried because I let him treat me that way - and he made me hope I did not love him.
When the bad memories hit me, that is when the process of moving forward slowed down. The treatments, pain, and harsh words I received from him became my nightmare. And that made my journey in stepping forward slower.
I can still remember the nights when I could not sleep, and I just cried while asking myself WHYs. Why did I let him hurt me? Why did I let him throw disrespectful and harsh words to me? Why did I let him do things that made me question my worth as a woman? Those whys kept on bothering me every single night.
I can still remember how I get drunk one-week straight. Yes, I did that to somehow ease the pain of looking back on how I was not treated right. Do you know the line "Way too much whiskey in my blood, I feel my body giving up" from Malibu Nights? That is how I exactly was.
The worst moving-on process that I have been through was the last one. I can feel the pain stabbing my chest. Not the pain of losing the person, but the memories of how he did not treat me right.
I have been drunk, cried too much, and even experienced the sleepless nights. The cycle went on, until I just got to be okay one day. And I am thankful that I went through that experience. It made me stronger and better. It improved something within me.
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Date Published: May 31, 2021
Author: charmingcherry08
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Breaking up is an excruciating experience, especially when you are gaslighted and belittled, as you have mentioned. Grabe yung ganun, iisipin mo talaga kung saan ka nagkulang at mapapatanong ka about your worth. Akala natin sa movies lang no? But I'm glad you're happy now :) Happy for you!