Squares Can't Understand the Pyramids

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Avatar for charmingcherry08
1 year ago

There are times in our life when we have to explain our side of things, even though some won’t agree with us. We cannot deny that there are days that we want to be understood, and we want our views to be accepted. But not everyone can absorb where we stand.

I remember hearing the line “Squares can never understand the pyramids,” which means that some people will not agree with you because they are not you. It is also like the saying, “you can never understand a person unless you wear their shoe.” And I realized the deeper meaning behind these lines when I got into a situation where I had to share my point of view on motherhood or giving birth to a child. 

Disclaimer: 

The piece does not intend to offend or belittle someone. It was a personal experience written through a blog.

We had our drinking session at one of our friend’s house. And we got to talk about motherhood or giving birth to a child, specifically. I have been open to my friends and family that having a child is the least of my priority. They tried t0 roast me on that matter, but I proved my points well.

First, how can I give birth to a child when I cannot buy necessities? How can I care for a child when I cannot even care for myself? The thoughts like these are always in my head. I saw it on my brother. He got his girlfriend pregnant at a young age, and they are my motivation. I have always told him I would not repeat the same mistake he did – as he was our oldest brother. I felt disappointed in him before because he had just started his job back then, and it was his chance to help our parents and our family.

However, I am happy for him because we saw his sweetest and cutest kiddos. Upon seeing his struggles to meet his responsibilities to his children, my other older brother and I promised that we would only have kids once we were already stable and ready for the obligation. It made us put having kids to the least of our priorities. The line “ang hirap ng buhay, tapos mandadamay ka pa ng batang walang kamuwang-muwang” from my brother hits differently.

Second, I prefer adoption. Maybe you will tell me that it might not be worth it. But being a mother isn’t just about blood relations. It comes from the heart. When my friends said, “iba pa rin kapag dugo’t laman mo,” I felt disappointed. What difference does it make? Someone out there left their child, and some killed them. I firmly believe that it is not the blood relation that matters. I have relatives who have adopted kids, but they love them unconditionally. Again, what difference does it make? It was just a toxic mindset that people instilled in their heads. 

Lastly, I cannot set aside my parents. I saw daughters and sons setting aside their parents because they already have their own families. And correct me all you want, but I cannot do it to my Mama and Papa. Some of you will understand my point, but I know some will not. I want to take full responsibility for my parents, which is why if I will get married in the future, I need to choose a partner who can understand my love for them. Because I cannot and will never choose someone over them.

I cannot marry someone who will persuade me to set aside my parents because I will not. The only way to solve this is to get rich, so I can support my parents in everything once they are older. I remember someone telling me things would be different once I had my own family. And I burned it with, “If that is the case, I will do everything in my power to avoid having my own family.” It is one way or another.

Coming from a family without a silver spoon made me have different life principles than others. Some women out there fantasize about wearing a white dress and taking care of their kids, but I do not. When you experience being at the bottom, it will make you have a firm stand on situations.

My friend added that it is better to have a child so someone will take care of you once you are older. And no, I do not see it that way. If that is the reason, there is another way. Get richer and save money to have someone professional take care of me once I am older. If you only look at your children like that, you will not be so sure they will take care of you. Maybe they won’t. 

Your future kids cannot choose the life they want after their birth. You are choosing it for them. Your future kids cannot choose responsible parents. You will do it for them. You cannot blame me for having a long list of considerations. You cannot blame me for setting a high standard for being a parent nowadays.

It is not a trial and error decision where you can step back. If you cannot understand my points above, then it is true that squares can never understand the pyramids. Wear my shoe, and I’ll let you have a glimpse of how I see life. 


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Article # : <295>
Category  : <Personal Blogs>
Author    : <charmingcherry08>
Posting Date : <July 30 2022>

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1 year ago

Comments

I totally agree with you ading and ofcourse sa mindset ng kuya mo. HAHAHAHA. Gusto ko kapag magkaka-pamilya na kami, hindi na nila mararanasan yung hirap na naranasan namin. Gusto namin ng buhay na maganda para saknila na hindi sila mapupunta sa situation na magsisisi sila na kami ang naging magulang nila dahil hindi namin sila maalagaan ng tama. And just like you, being a breadwinner, we need to settle our parents first before anything else. Salute you for this ading!

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1 year ago

Tama ka diyan, ate. Mas mahalaga na handa ka talaga kesa naman bara-bara ka at padalos-dalos dahil kawawa ang mga batang madadamay.

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1 year ago

I understand what you are trying to point out and I totally agree with your opinion because I am too a mother who struggle. Adoption is okay with me too, I just hate others abandon and killed their child. Nowadays, having a child is need to be think not just twice but many times. Given the current situation, life is totally harder than before.

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1 year ago

We must learn how to consider things and situations before jumping into it. :)

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1 year ago

Oww that was something hehe. Also I heard the same thought with Heart Evangelista.

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1 year ago

Mostly mga empowered women yung may ganitong mindset ano.

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1 year ago

I also think I won't have kids unless I can care and provide for them. Also, it is important we have the number of kids we can take care of. Some people give birth to as many as 6 or more children when they can only afford to take care of two or three. This often lead to pressure on the first child to care for the younger ones too.

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1 year ago

Indeed. Having a child is a big responsibility that we should be ready and prepared for. Such a great mindset you have too!

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1 year ago

Thanks Cherry

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1 year ago

You're welcome.

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1 year ago

Ako rin ayaw kong magkaroon ng family hehe. Parehas kayo ni Nadine Lustre Ate doon sa Number 2. Medyo naaawa ako ng light sa mga anak ng mga teenage parents. Medyo gasgas na sa akin yung mga line na "sino ang mag-a-alaga sa'yo kapag matanda ka na" hahaha

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1 year ago

Oo nga eh. Gasgas na masyado yon. Mas bet ko adoption kasi ang daming walang magulang sa mundo. Hay.

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1 year ago

Sa panahon ngayon dapat talaga na pag isipan bago mag anak kasi sobrang mahal ng bilihin and believe me nakaka Konsensya kapag hindi mo naibigay ang pangangailangan ng iyung pamilya. Kaya for me okay ang mindset mo na ganyan mas inuuna mo kapakanan ng parents mo bago ang sa iyu, God bless to you cherry.

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1 year ago

Tama ka diyan ate. Mas maganda talagang paghandaan yan, dahil ang hirap ng buhay ngayon.

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1 year ago

My dear, you wrote very well, I completely agree with everything you said. My husband and I are always of the opinion that when it is difficult to provide the necessities of life even for ourselves, how can we accept the responsibility of a child. We are of this opinion, if one day we find interest in having a child, we will adopt an orphaned child. And give him a good life. There are so many homeless children in the world, why don't we save one of them.

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1 year ago

Indeed! What a great point. There are a lot of kids out there who are homeless and left by their parents. We can save them by adopting, like what other celebrities and icons did. There is no difference between the two.

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1 year ago

I can relate to you in someway my friend cherry. As of the moment, I still don't have plans of having kids. Maybe when I already reach that age where I already have the savinsg and all. For now, life's tough, I still can't do it.

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1 year ago

We should work on our savings and investments, before starting our own family, right?

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1 year ago

Your Spirit knows what you want, we go with your plan Leticia.

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1 year ago

I am also balancing that belief that rooted in fear that if you don't have child as early as now "no one will take care of you at your old age". Aside from having kids there must be another way! In fact many options so we could be taking care of someday.

Be wiser now, even if we can have kids, later in life they will find and build their own path and life, surely who can stay with us longer will either our partner or a care taker. Invest now, save now, still enjoy life with your loved ones.

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1 year ago

Yes, right? People have this mindset that we should have kids so someone would take care of us when we got older. But honestly speaking, not every child do this to their parents. The only way to make sure that you will be taken care of is when you have a lot of money.

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1 year ago

Yup but then like you, you were raised to be so kind towards your parent and that is the fruits they reap for raising you. Im sure if you will have kids, the culture will be pass on to your next gen.

Better to create now the life we dreamed of- with kids or not, because kids will sooner or later leave your home. Be smart now and save or invest surely. One day your apo may enjoy you treating them, kc kahit matanda ka na may pera ka pa 😆🤗.

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1 year ago

Tama ka diyan, ate. Kaya nga I am planning on investing and saving, at hindi nakatingin sa idea na iasa sa pagkakaroon ng anak. Let us just enjoy life. Kapag para sa atin ang pagkakaroon ng anak, God will make it happen. And when it's not, okay lang din.

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1 year ago

We should not put our parents aside. Moreover you are right we should think about children we are stable in life because deficiencies we have faced we can't imagine them for our kiddos. I love your thinking about your brother who did mistake but you can't do the same.

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1 year ago

One thing I would recommend cause my head is aching for real life responsibilities topic sister 😂. Be balance, enjoy life but still slowly save for your future with hubby. Honor parents, kids will either stay with you or not so be ready with that. Still life is priceless, we love it!

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1 year ago

My brother taught me a lot of lessons. Maybe not directly, but the way I reflect on his mistakes. Thank you for agreeing with me.

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1 year ago