I did not want to write today
The title basically explains it all. I did not want to write today but I do not want to be absent too. So here I am basically trying to come up with a topic as I write.
To be honest, topic is not a problem for me. I have so many things I want to write about, the problem is that I am not quite sure it is the right time for them yet. So I let them stay in my mind and of course, most of the times I forget about them.
No worries though, I just tell myself that since I forgot about them then they must not have been that great of a topic anyway.
I did not want to write today but I do not want to miss a day again. The reason for this is I am now on a depressive episode again, or maybe it is a mixed one. Or maybe I am just experiencing the discontinuation effects from my decision to stop taking the prescribed medication for bipolar disorder.
In just a few days, I will be meeting an endocrinologist to discuss the interpretation of the laboratory tests I got last time. Until now, I am unsure what I want to hear.
Maybe what I want to hear is the truth.
Speaking of the truth
Now that this word is mentioned, I remember a topic that I want to talk about. It is about my plans during this bear market. It is disappointing for me since I had high hopes that we will reach the price of BCH last year at around this time, but no worries.
In my year-long stay in read.cash and noise.cash, I like to believe that I have learned a thing or two about making decisions during these times.
I am planning to buy some BCH. But not right away, the reason for this is that I can not see the end of the dip yet, and I do not want to enter only for the price to get lower. So I am waiting for the first signs of market recovery before I enter.
As of now, I have already converted some BCH to fiat a few days ago. Not because I do not believe in BCH, but because I want to buy back at a lower price. Also, I do want to have some fiat just in case of emergencies.
I am after all feeling a bit restless with what is happening right now, so better be prepared than sorry. If I am only thinking about myself, then I would not have bothered in preparing for emergencies.
After all, I honestly do not care whether or not I live to see another day. But I have my parents, sisters, and pets to think of. So I need to prepare for emergencies for them.
Closing words
Today is a tiring day for me. I think I did a lot of academic related tasks. Plus the discontinuation symptoms are getting to me.
Moreover, my bedroom has been in disarray for a few weeks now. I am just too tired to think of even cleaning my room. Well, I can think of cleaning my room but I do not have much energy to put it into action.
If a stranger would see the state of my room right now, I would probably die of embarrassment.
Anyway, I am just trying to think of more things to share in this article.
But I am having a difficult time. I just do not have much energy. No motivation to get up. No hope for the future. No energy in reminiscing.
I am just existing right now, and hurting. My whole body hurts and I feel like I want to go back to old patterns but I really want to get better.
I am just so tired of doing the same kind of thing over and over.
Maybe, I actually just need a hug from a loved one (my preferred one would be from my partner *ehem ehem*). I am not sure if he still has time to read my random articles here haha after all he is busy with work, and his thesis right now. He gives me lots of bebe time when I want it so I am spoiled, but I never get tired of wanting to be with him. I know that many of you can relate to this feeling.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
es algo común para los verdaderos escritores, en noise no me siento muy animado por los constante problemas de la plataforma, pero estoy mas animado pero con mi trabajo el tiempo me hace difícil sentarme a escribir con la frecuencia que quisiera, pero la constancia es mas importante que la cantidad, para mi esto es algo que hago porque lo disfruto.