Life is a series of events that lead to multiple habits that build up who we are. These habits became a part of our lives due to their repeated reoccurrence. Most times, habits are good for us since it gives us a solid foundation of what to expect. It makes life a bit predictable at least in our mind. Habits give us a routine which we follow again and again.
However, sometimes habits are not beneficial to us. Instead of helping us be grounded, some habit become a crutch. It becomes a burden that we do not know how to shed. It become a hindrance in our journey to being the best version of ourselves.
Today, I want to share some habits that I have said goodbye to. These are personal habits of mine but I am sure many will relate to these.
Doubting myself
This one is pretty difficult to let go. With so many pressures on me, it was hard to believe in my abilities. Especially so when I am surrounded by people who seem like they know what they are doing. I always felt so lost and afraid. I constantly doubt myself.
I would tell myself that I am not good enough and after a while, I started to believe it. It was not until I realized what I am doing that I finally realized why I always feel so uncomfortable in my skin. I was not comfortable because I badly wanted to be anyone but me.
But you know what? I realized that I am also amazing in my own way. In realizing my strengths and weaknesses, I found that doubt no longer has a place in my life. I know what I can and can not do.
Always saying yes
This one is related to the first habit that I have let go. Because I was constantly doubting myself, I did not know my boundaries. I did not allow myself to wonder what my limit was. So I kept saying yes, and ended up pushing my needs down in my to-do list.
By saying yes to others all the time, I have neglected listening to myself. This made me feel invisible most times since I have felt like no one understands me. Everyone goes to me for help but no one knew me beyond that.
When I learned to set boundaries, I started to see who are true to me and who are the people who are just using me. It is difficult to learn how to say no. What I did was try to say no every week, until I could do it everyday or when my boundaries are being crossed. I no longer feel the need to defend my no. If I say no, I say it as a full sentence. No. I do not bother to explain why because I now know that no is enough.
Striving for perfection
I was a student in a Science High School. The pressure that was on us was hard to describe. While others were exploring their teenage dreams, we are burdened with academics. The phrase "cream of the crop" is shoved our impressionable minds until we were willing to push our bodies beyond their limits just to prove that we are deserving of the spot in the school.
Unsurprisingly, this outward pressure is internalized. I found myself being too harsh every time I commit what I believe was a stupid mistake. I was afraid of being wrong, I would rather stay silent than ask a question. I was chasing perfection.
The thing about perfection though is that it is not attainable. Perfection is something that will always be out of reach. Thus, chasing after it will only lead to disappointments and a mountain of pressure.
When I finally let go of striving perfection in everything I do, I became much happier. In arts, I was able to have more fun instead of excessively obsessing over small details that other people will not notice. I started to see the beauty that exists in the imperfection of things, and perfection no longer has the appeal it used to has.
Thinking in extremes
Either I do this until I drop or I do not do this at all. It is all or nothing
This was my thinking before. I did not see the reason of doing something if I will not have every good thing that comes with it. Perhaps this is because of my perfectionist tendencies before, but I did not want it unless I can have all of it.
I do not want to start an art project if I do not have all the expensive materials that I think I need. If I do not have it, then I will do nothing at all. This was my thinking but now, I make do with what I have. I also opened my mind to see the possibilities. The outcome of my actions is not only going to go in 2 ways, there are so many ways the future could unfold and I have finally taken comfort in that.
Comparing myself to others
This is especially prevalent in the age of social media. Everyone wants to share their achievements. Most times they only post the best things that happened in their lives.
I used to compare myself to others. Not just because of social media but because I was insecure. I did not feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel like if I was somebody else, I would be happier.
However, now that I have grown I finally see that there was no need to compare. Everyone's living a different life. Each circumstances that happen to individuals are uniquely their own. I do not need to feel bad if I see someone has something that I don't.
Being contented with what I have and who I am, yet still continuously improving myself is the key to getting rid of my insecurities. I know that someone else's achievements do not make mine smaller. Someone's good qualities do not erase mine. In finally realizing this, I can now celebrate everyone's success without it feeling like an attack to me.
Not keeping track of money
This is something that I kind of wished I had learned earlier. I do try to keep track of my money before but I always stopped because I got too lazy. This led to many situations where I wonder how I spent my money.
Keeping track of money is a good way to minimize expenses. It is a good strategy to make sure I have enough cash on-hand in case of emergencies. It also shows me where most of my money go to and then I can decide if it is really something important or not.
Closing Words
These are the habits that I have finally let go off. What are the habits that you want to let go this year?
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
I have all these bad habits which you have mentioned in this article. But I tried a lot to give up on this and am still trying. Self-doubt kills all out talents and passion, we need to stop doubt ourselves. Saying "Yes" always can hurt us so we need to say NO in order to keep ourselves safe. We all are different from others, our differences makes us unique and special so we have to accept ourselves as the way we are.