Adulting 101: Children does not count as investment
How many times have we heard a parent say that they are investing their money into their kids? As if their children are some sort of piggy-bank holding their money for them until they feel that the money matured enough.
This is unfortunately the mindset of many people. I have seen families with an only child who carries all the financial burden because the parents think that the child should be grateful they are brought into this world. Which makes me raise my eyebrows because no one gets to consent to being born. It is not like we were given a contract to sign before being born that says "you shall be your parent's investment and retirement plan".
As a parent, it is your obligation
The one who wanted children carries all the responsibilities and obligations for taking care of a child. This means that they can not use providing for the children's needs as a way to manipulate these kids because it is the consequence of their decision to have a child. Thus, they are obligated to take care of the life the brought into this world.
The children that comes of a marriage or relationship are not obligated to provided for their parents' needs. Sure, that will be the nice gesture but it must be done out of love and one's free will instead of being an expectation.
If you want a child
You have all the responsibility to provide for them the best life that they could have in this difficult world that we live in. Do not have a child with the intention of safe-guarding your future. Children should not be made for the sole purpose of taking care of you when you grow old.
There is a friend of mine who from childhood was always told that the reason why they are alive is because the parents needed someone to take care of them. Imagine how cruel that was to bring an innocent child into this world already carrying a burden because you did not want to take care of yourself. Even know, this friend of mine could not stop thinking that their life mission is to be their parents' caretaker.
Adulting 101 connection
Part of adulting is thinking about future family plans that may include having children. I write this as the first installment of the Adulting 101 article series because I want the next generation to be free of the financial burdens that parents have no right to pass onto their children. Before we dive into the technical details of adulting, I want us to remove the mindset that the future children we may have are part of our investment for the future.
Moreover, if there are any parents out there who are not preparing for their retirement because they have children, I want them to see this and have them think about their life choices.
I know that many parents feel entitled of their children's money because they gave their children everything but is that not the point? Did you not have a child to love and cherish? Or did you just do what parents should do because you think it is an investment in the future?
In Filipino culture, the usual piggy bank of the family is the first born child. From the moment they get their first job until they finally move out, the parents feel entitled to squeeze out every bit of peso that they can from the eldest. This breaks my heart because taking care of your younger siblings is already hard enough, but being treated based on how much you can give is just despicable for me.
Can you imagine treating your child like a piggy bank that once full, you just break it and toss aside?
This random memory
I remember once I told a friend that I do not want to have a child because the world seems so chaotic. I can not imagine bringing a child into this world especially when there are many children already here looking for a bit of love and warmth.
Do you want to know what response I got?
What are you gonna do in the future if you have no child? Who will take care of you? Who will inherit your things?
I had to stop for a second to breathe because I did not expect such kind of thinking from someone my age. I just told this friend that if I have no child then I am free to enjoy my midlife without worries about whether I picked up my kid from school. I told her that in the future, I could do volunteer works for children that are already here and need to be taken care of. I could travel the world without worrying how it will affect a child's mental growth. I could a lot of things in the future that does not involve children.
As for the taking care of aspect, there are communities where even retired people still function well without anyone babysitting them. Additionally, I am actually planning for my retirement instead of leaving it up to any unborn child of mine. For the inheritance, I could give it to my loved ones or donate it all to charities of my choice. It is not really that much of a problem.
I never felt comfortable
I never felt comfortable with the idea of having children just because I want the security of having someone to love me and take care of me when I grow old. I mean, I am not even sure that I will be a good parent.
If ever I have a child, I would want to give them the experiences I never had. I would want them to never have to carry the burden of thinking about how to take care of me when I grow old. In short, I would want them to experience a life where they are not treated as my life savings.
Closing words
I hope that the next generation will never have to worry about being treated as piggy banks by their parents. Let us give the next generation a chance to be happier than us, after all they are going to inherit a dying planet, the least we could do is not give them a big responsibility before they ever say their first words.
This article has been stuck in my drafts for a week or two. I was about to delete when I saw a similar article written by Ate Eybyoung but she encouraged me to still publish this.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
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Let us all break this cycle. I totally agree with everything that you have stated above sis. Kids should not be treated as an investment of their parents. It is just so saddening to know that a lot of children are carrying the whole family's burden.