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The Ugly Side, the effect of Diffidence and Envy

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Written by   936
2 months ago

In my first month in, it was already planned that all I will do is to write if I have a topic and then save the earnings that I can get here. I did that for a month and then after learning about hodling Bitcoincash, new opportunity came, new learnings from the good people here and with the guidance from them and through reading some article about it, I finally get to learn a few things that I never imagine I will learn too.

Learning new things is good if you want change in your life. A few changes is not that bad right, because tru it you have the chance to grow more - you grow into a fine lady na sasaktan lang ng kung sino sinong lalaki! Just kidding, lol. And this is where I get to know the existence of Binance, Trust wallet, Nexo and many more. Doing more than earning here is not even my plan but it change while exploring

I love how and Bitcoincash change my life to be honest, the boring days that I have before also changed. It become more colorful, with the sparkling light just like on what you see in a bar, the dancing light, lol. Aside from I enjoy so much my time here interacting with everyone, I also found a lot of friends. And just like the list that Eybyoung stated in her latest article - Blockchain Social Media Changed Me : Especially Read.Cash & Noise.Cash, I have lot's of list that I did before when I'm still not aware of the existence of

One, the time that I spend in stalking my former classmate's stopped. Yes, I'm a big stalker in town, lol. And because I have a lot of free time because I'm a bum, I have lot of time to stalk other people's timeline. You know when you see someone you know who work hard to be where they are now, we should be happy for them right? We should congratulate them and commend to a job well done. They deserve it and now they are enjoying it.

It's because they grind hard, they didn't give up and didn't bum around. They work hard now they are enjoying the sprout of those sleepless night that they had to spent, the overtime, the need to work even when they are sick. The reason that they can go to wherever they want is it's because they have money that came from their hard work. They can eat to a restaurant because they have work and maybe it is a reward for their job well done. They can go abroad, it's because they really work hard to get on that point.

I know, I should be happy for them but when I stalk them, I can't stop myself from feeling jealous. Yeah, I can't really help it. It's a feeling that I really hate. Your mind will be clouded with ugly thoughts for them. The envy that I felt everytime that I saw them enjoying their life, or their chosen life. The path that all of them took that brought them to where they are now. I know that I should act than to feel jealous to what they become but, it's easy said than done,

I should make a move, I know that I already thought of that but, I'm not sure with all of the things, I had to look for assurance first that the path I choose will be worth it. I hate taking risk seriously, that's why when I take action, it should be because I am already sure of the outcome. I'm afraid to take even one step because of those thoughts that keep on coming in my head. I have a lot of reasons that is not really a problem but I'm making it a big deal.

I also become delusional that I am in their position, instead of them. Well, it's just really an imagination. The experience that they had that was posted on Facebook, I am replacing them with my face on my head. I am creating my own version of it in my head until it become a habit. I love to daydream where I am the main character and that I am doing all what I want to do in that imagination.

I feel crazy whenever I'm doing it but, it's fun and it's just free so why the hell not, just enjoy it. So even just in imagination, I feel happy. I feel strong and the insecurities I have will just vanished. But everytime that the story will end, that's where I feel that I am really missing a lot. I feel happy in just for a short time. It never last, it's like a short dream just to make you remember that you are living a boring life. A jobless woman with no dreams at all.

I'm still like these to be honest, but not as worst as I am before. Off course those feelings will never disappear in human, they will still feel it no matter what and when. But the good thing is, we will feel jealous but that will make us feel more motivated to strive hard. And No, we won't get ahead with anyone like in a competition. No, not like that, we will strive hard because that's what we want and we're doing it for ourselves and for our family and not just for everyone.

We will feel happy for them, congratulate them wholeheartedly and celebrate it with them. And you, me? We will make our own story, but this time it is real. Those things you imagine before, we will try to achieve it. Using our own strength, there are times that we may fall - sa maling tao, or accidentally slipped - literally. But remember, you are not alone in this world. Don't ever think that you have no one because you have. Go ask for help, and be positive - wag kang aayaw Revicon Forte!


I got the idea of this article from @Eybyoung's latest article. I already mention the link of it above, ehehe. I feel like this article is a very serious one, I'm not used to it. I want to put a lot of hugot to this one but, I don't know. Maybe because I want to be serious even just once. But then I remember again, the first time I got serious I just get rejected, so I won't do it again, or will I?. Actually, I still have a lot to say but I will continue it tomorrow nalang. So how about you? Anong kwento mo nong wala pa yong taong nanakit sayo? I mean nong wala pa si sa buhay mo?

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Written by   936
2 months ago
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