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Uneasiness and Anxiousness when combined and the result is Me So yesterday, Mom decided to buy a stand fan and she just drag me to Pick Up Shop as in literally, lol kidding - because she accidentally break our stand fan and now it is making an unexplainable sound that no one can fathom, it is now surrounded by a curse that anyone who can hear it will feel super annoyed, lol. Why it sound so cheesy just for that no, lelel. Anyways, so we headed to Pick Up Shop and as usual, my getup is like the same when I go to the market. With my favorite black Facemask, Headset and umbrella, eheee. And off course With mom on my side holding my arms like she will be lost anytime, haha chorrr. And we're just in the entrance of the shop when I saw a bunch of man. I suddenly feel alive after seeing a bunch of men in front of me, lol. But seriously speaking, what I felt that time is nervousness. I want to escape from the place pronto. Dunno why but boys or man if I saw them in a group I just feel like escaping and running away from them. And I tend to walk faster because of that. I didn't even notice that I am walking faster and I just notice it when Mom stopped me. There is also that time that I never notice it and will only notice it when I feel like I'm running our breath already, lol. I love men but guess my love for them is not that much because I feel more afraid to them, lol. I don't know why I reacted to them like that, even though I love men. I love them even though they love to hurt me huehue chorrrr. And you know what, even inside the shop I feel like I am more aware from them that if I don't watch their every move something will happen and I'll not gonna like it, lol. Why self? Why you're so like that. And if if I feel like they are just in my back, I will let them pass first and stop like I am looking for something but to be honest I am just pretending, lol. Aigoooo. Actually not just to them ee, even to woman. Well as long as they are group of people. I feel so low when I'm surrounded by them. I feel like a small fly that is super annoying to everyone huehue. Why I am so like this with myself. Am I becoming a 100% introvert now? Oh no, but I still love to stay on my room no matter what. So sure, call me introvert all you want lo. I'm proud of it still. Okay back to those men. When we are finally done choosing the stand fan that we want. It has a box so I'm the one carrying it. And you know, I felt comfortable after seeing that those men are finally gone. I just had a long breath like thanks heaven. But when We go out to the exit, I found out that they are really not gone. They are just waiting for something outside. Maybe the vehicle which they used to get to the shop. And thanks heaven again coz I have my umbrella, but because I'm so out of it I almost forgot my umbrella but thanks to Mom she remind me about it, lol. I just want to get out on that place fast that's why. So when I finally get my umbrella to the baggage counter. We're not even on the outside completely, I already open my umbrella because I want to hide my face, lol. But Mom just want to prolong my agony because she asked me to buy a cast food for our cat obviously. I just do it fast too. I look like some mumu are running after me when I did it lol. I just want get done with it so I can finally rest my back on my bed. I want to hide my face to the world that's what I want. You know when those men are just around me. I really wish to be a fart nalang that instant. That's just how badly I want to run from them. They are not even doing anything from me. It's just that, my body is reacting to them. From my head to my body. I'm overreacting, that's just it. I think about it and them my body reacted to it. I also have this hobby that if I'm too nervous, I tend to move my facemask over and over. I want to put my facemask even in my eyes, lol. I've been like this for I can't remember, I don't even remember when di I start becoming like this. 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