Dating In Week 20 Vs Marriage, What's Your Take?

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Avatar for King_Gozie
3 years ago

Lets be practically real here, "what's your deepest worries about a relationship?" I guess we all have different approach to love and to be loved.. but the idealogy of what he pays for he own, something in return for your heart is the currently used method with most start ups.. so if a lady sees love as a man helping with the Bill's and a man sees love as a woman showing love as intimacy then that's the way both speak their love but there is a big clause. It doesn't last too long till you let loose and feel insecure.

If everything ends at being at the dating stage and what was originally the intention is broken the heart is as well. You gotta do what you gotta do at the right spark, you need no validation or test to know that you both need to further this thing... looking at the solidity and consistency of a relationship but it's also going to have to be both ways, neither party shouldn't buy their right to be a husband or a wife.

Dating isn't for a man to see how the lady is good in bed 😊 or the woman to how well the man can provide anything, if that's the case it would just be a relationship with benefits and not feelings. This could also be trusted as one leading to marriage, because you already understand what you are in for so maybe I'm not fully aware of what dating means but I can put you up for a test... "how long have you been out together and how many times have you brought up the word marriage and how many times was the subject changed?" The way you all are dating and your requirements in dating have nothing to do with marriage..

At the end of the day the question needs to be asked "Can I trust this person? Is this person going to be faithful to me? Is this person going to treat me with respect? Paying Bill's and having sex is not a priority in a relationship.. these days where the lady earns even much more than a man does so if a man provides he would have to be the greatest person in the world but if it turns out to be the other way around it still doesn't matter. Marriage should be about love and not an expense paid trip to a fantasy world or dream works so should this be mixed up together.

There are some stories that will should serve as a good example to you and I, reflect on your decisions and do what's right.. but if you are more comfortable just being around him or her that's your choice to make too.. What would you rather do when the money stops coming or when the love suddenly vanishes. It's hard sometimes when we really desire for the relationship to move further than where it is now but you can't only be the determining factor...

I think I have exhausted some points, but your opinion will be much appreciated... The first to fifth dat usually have a name to it, seen a movie about that but can't remember... I hope I have solved some really rough questions.. do not make it a requirement all the time for your partners to be 100% at their game.. if she doesn't do certain things that doesn't give you the chance to see any fault in that and if he doesn't do a particular thing right that should also give the chance to pick faults..

You feel that you can tolerate a lot in dating than in marriage, you all need to get something straight and clear it's time to stop worrying about marriage or its logistics... when you have somebody you can build a bond with don't wait too long because time is running he or she could leave you any minute and what you've lost can be hard to get back...

Thanks for reading, watch out for my Halloween scare on the 29th, then answers to some questions on the 30th... love you all..

A big appreciation to my readers and to my sponsors, it means a lot to me each day you come through... bye for now.

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Avatar for King_Gozie
3 years ago

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Last Sunday I joined a Bible study, then the Pastor asked, "Who are in a relationship here?". 4 or 5 raise their hand, including my bestfriend. Then the Pastor asked her, "Are you sure that he is the one you will marry someday? ". She answered "It depends Pas, sometimes we have these plans which is contradict to God's plans". The Pastor told them that what's the point of having a relationship when you don't have a plan to marry. Just my bestfriend felt bad, because she just point of her side; not to be judge.

$ 0.04
3 years ago

It was wrong to say that out to her in public though, but it's somewhat the truth... although I have seen and heard of relationship that lasted really long then both parties married separate individuals at last.. There is always something uniquely different when you meet your souls partner..

Its left for her to choose to move beyond just a relationship but commitment.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I always engrave in my mind that relationship is only good in the beginning. I can say that I am someone who is not up for lust like how can you call it a realtionship if the main foundation is lust? Whether youre in dating or marriage stage, it's not okay to have a foundation like that. Maybe that's why i dont want to be in a relationship because im afraid i cant give what they want from me.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

You need not be afraid, there is something in you that believes in the right thing.. if that be the case no one can tell you what to do. Its left for you to communicate with your partner on it..

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3 years ago

In a relationship, what works for some doesn't work for others. In this, there is nothing written on stone.

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3 years ago

We are all into a relationship with different perspective, you are right Coin.. it may take even longer to build a connection..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I have not dated before my marriage and mine was arranged by my parents like how they do in Roman times... many marriages in India are arranged whether the girl/guy likes it or nah... and not dating before was my life's biggest mistake... every girl must know what she will be getting into before marrying a guy... many so called "Men" are still treated like "boys" here by their Moms and it is the girl's responsibility to train him into man, and when he becomes one, his Mom will say "that witch trained him to suit to her needs" ... ughhhhh this is a repetitive cycle... If I had a chance, I would date a man, understand each other goals, needs and compatibility and then only go for marriage... it's the best

$ 0.14
3 years ago

This is a lot, I really could feel your anger towards it but I'm sure after getting to each other within the confines of your home you found love... I can relate to arranged marriage... there are so many downs and ups, it takes time to really bond

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Wow!!! I feel your pain. Because I can't imagine being in an arranged marriage. That means you won't know anything about him before you marry him. And the Indian family head is always the mother. Which means you are subjected to him and his mum.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

@Cute_Girl yes exactly my point, until their parents live, it is treated as it is their house and the daughter in law is always the outsider and not considered as a part of family,. there were times when I wasn't even included in big family decisions like buying a car... which resulted in a huge loss to my husband and he is still paying the money even after years, I would have stopped before even bought it because I'm educated and I can calculate his income vs expenses and I would know exactly what would happen if we had bought a car... I gave an ultimatum to my husband that if he does not include me in his decisions, I would gladly leave.... so thankful he understood me and now supports me and always takes my advise

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3 years ago

You spoke your heart and shouldn't be taken for granted in your own home... you have a say as well to what happens in your home.

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3 years ago

Relationship are not meant for kids but for mature people with like minds. Relationship built on material things will not last longer. It's beyond the physical appearance. You know ladies love men with beard, and majority of me love this figure 8 in a lady, sound crazy right??

What of it these thing are no more, will there still be love? That's the question we should ask ourselves when we are into relationship. We should love without reasons,vee should love without materials things, we should love for the sake of love and love alone.

Love me not because of my beauty, shape, money , car , house, but for who I am. A love without condition is what all i crave for.

Your should be able to strength your partner weakness, no one is perfect, you have your flaws like they have their own flaws too, you can have perfect relationship unless you make it work out.

Sex has nothing to do with relationship, I do listen to some trash like if you know you truly love me , you should be able to have sex with me...even me listening to that will give me the motive that this person has nothing to offer me in a relationship rather than that... Its turns me off...lol

Dating should be the first thing to know some certain things about your partner, if she/he is some you can live with then you're good to go, and if the other way round, Don't be too quick to brake up, you can still work on him/her to make them perfect. You build them the way you want them to be for you. And if there's no changes it better to quit so that you'll not regret in future... marriage no be child play!

$ 0.10
3 years ago

My deepest worries about a relationship is how it has been misunderstood to mean being in a sexual romance rather than the usual getting to know each other well before the eventual tie of the knot in marriage is made possible. These days, what you do see of the so called relationship involvements is that of a situation in which the lady sells her body in exchange for the guy's lavishness of the monies that are spent on her as a thank you for keeping her with the promise of a potential marriage that will continue to load without being actualized. The best for me is marriage outrighly where such sexual engagements are allowed and not some sort of having a routine maraton series and rounds of sex all in the name of keeping a relationship with a view to getting married in time to come

$ 0.06
3 years ago

I think this should be an article on own, you explained very well how important it is to come out of every so called fake relationship claiming true... it's just a beneficial thing as eventually they will run out of ideas and it will end in tears..

Everything about a sexual relationshipship should start from an actual home..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Dating, marriage , living together they are all linked. In Scotland if you live together as a couple for six months then you are legally common law husband and wife. Everybody is different as to what works for them

$ 0.05
3 years ago

That's something new, I love that rule though 😁... truly everyone has their different view of what works...

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hehe some people do love that rule

$ 0.03
3 years ago

I wish we had that here too, life will be easier I think πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

oh are you wanting it now πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Issues of marriage en. It's better to spend enough time to know one's partner well. That's what courtship is all about but most people skip this and rush into marriage itself.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

True, the relevance of courtship... Very important in marriage, like I could remember when my pastors wife will be like "If you'd bring anybody to me as your wife she will ask whether you've done courtship"...

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3 years ago

You have said it all. Most people think relationship is a trial and error thing. Its the play ground where you can test all the tools in your arsenal and watch how the other party responds to it.

Its funny how relationships these days are so shallow and I wonder how they keep up with it.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Everyone wants to have a taste of it, really unprepared, a lot of people think a relationship is healthy just because there is provision and satisfaction... seriously speaking it is much more than that.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Most people look for someone they can have short term relationship with, so they won't bother talking about marriage or the future plans together.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

At the end of the day one of them would get tired of everything leading to separation... so at best don't start what you can't complete, very simple. Thanks Cogamedia

$ 0.00
3 years ago

My decision from day one has been that, I won't go into any relationship if I don't have marriage in view. I hate being anyone's ex. Many will say they want to sample themselves. If you finish sampling everything before marriage, what will you now eat when you're married. You will be tired of yourselves. Pure courtship where you learn about yourself is the best.

$ 0.06
3 years ago

Ooh Queen, you have hit the nail on the head... what is a relationship without a marriage view, it's literally just child's play... you made me laugh, seriously what will even be left πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You've got a very important points here. When I was dating my husband before marriage, he never asked me for sex until we got married and we started sharing the responsibilities at home just to keep the family like functional

$ 0.02
3 years ago

He really understands the true meaning of marriage and most people don't get it.. There was no ulterior motives to dating back then and that's why it was a perfect ending for you both..

I'm grateful for your opinion towards this topic.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You're right, People talk about how they can endure certain things in dating and not in marriage. I mean they should go hand in hand, we should be able to set things straight.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I have come across a few of them, its basically the same thing but a lot more commitment... most of them don't what that. I love your opinion on seeing things differently

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well as we know, young in today's generation are already engaged dating, most of them date for fun and to be occupied, on the other side many were also not interested in marriage. They just want to enter relationship but not in their mind the word marriage

$ 0.02
3 years ago

We all have diverse reasons in a relationship setting, like somebody said something in the comment section that why date when it wouldn't lead ro marriage... it all depends on personal preference.. thank you Faith

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Marriage is foremost. I support it.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

That's great, better to be on a safe side 😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I'd say most people date just for fun , some don't have marriage in mind. But then any relationship that would lead to marriage, the dating period should entail a whole lot more than merely having fun

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You would know the commitment from the first two outings, although some rules still comes into play.. it's very easy to stay at one position than to move further..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Interesting topic. Dating Vs. Marriage. Roses are red while dating, but the concept should change once you are married. Ups and downs happen but "trust"plays an important role here.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Thank you ShameemS, nothing ever works well enough without trust. It feels like we are on top of the world when on a date but it is a different story compared to what marriage entails...

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Different people are Dating for different reasons but few are dating for marriage

$ 0.02
3 years ago

True dear... playing unending games comes into play and we forget the signs..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You're right... you've picked all the points needed for a relationship to go well, relationships aren't for kisses and all that, it's for sharing feelings and loving each other not for benefits.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Vic the lover boy 😊😊... we can relate with the basic need of a relationship and it doesn't just end on the surface, what connection will make it long lasting... if a person desires to get serious he or she will.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Relationship is not about mere love and emotion but it comes with responsibilities the two people should know this ahead before entering marriage stage.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Hmm very true, it's very good to know this before any further commitment... very good point to take note of

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Do you really think love is enough in the marriage??? When bills come will love pay them?? All of these really need to be considered

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Very true from a realistic perspective, there are more to it than just bills.. meanwhile even though he pays them why wait for long...

A factor could be from the mans end and also the lady's too... good writer up Wizo

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Bills should be part of what needs to be considered. Let's take a look at this, there are some guys that will even have the money to pay for the particular thing but they wouldn't. These things needs to be checked. It's very bad to marry a stingy man

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Yeah it is though but when there is a fixed demand all the time it isn't fair to the both of them... let love live and let love matter most. It goes to the point of leveragely taking advantage of the other..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It is true that we should marry out of love but we must consider if this person would be able to provide or help in the family's needs too. After all, when the bills come, love wouldn't be able to pay for it.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

This is really a test that doesn't end, it's like taking advantage of the person... true love wouldn't pay the Bill's but there will be happiness within..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Before we became friends with my partner, I had this very strange feeling for him. A feeling that told me that he will be part of my life. It may sounds crazy but it seemed like my heart already knows him.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You had a conviction that that was the moment and you went for it... sometimes we get too distracted or rather indecisive about how to move further.. and you see relationship end after a long while of dating...

Wonderful to share your story and I really cherish this write up...

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3 years ago

Hmmm, I believe we should know what we want in a relationship before going into it. And about marriage, it’s left to the two of you in the relationship, most times ladies want more in a relationship but it depends on what your partner want.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Very true, it really depends on both parties... I will lean towards knowing what we want and what we don't, how long will this continue and when to engage the moment..

$ 0.00
3 years ago