Trying my luck into staking $EBEN in the very first DEX on SmartBCH
5th of September 2021
Last week I've seen and read a lot of articles here regarding smartBCH. Knowing that it was a trend last week and even up until now.
I'm not yet expert of what really it is but if you want to know more about it then kindly check and read @Jane article entitled ***"Diving into the Sphere of Smartbch (Trying the benswap pool)"*** https://read.cash/@Jane/diving-into-the-sphere-of-smartbch-trying-the-benswap-pool-931b6dd0
In her article you will know deeper of what is SmartBCH and the **benswap** which was said to be the very **first DEX (Decentralized Exchange) on SmartBCH.**
In addition, in Jane's article you will know in there the steps or guide on how you can buy $EBEN and what are the wallets needed as well as the contract address of $EBEN (Green Ben) Token if you wish to dive or to buy as well and explore of what it is all about.
So, the first time I've read about it I said to myself that I won't dare to try it knowing that I'm still a noob in the crypto world and I'm afraid that I could lose my bch in case I'm not doing it right knowing as well that there are lots steps to follow. But when I read article of @Eybyoung , then article of @carisdaneym2 and many more who talked about it and not only here but also in the noise cash. My hesitations on trying it ended.
Last Thursday, I read again the article of Jane since I'm planning to try my luck in staking $EBEN token in the benswap pool. So, I follow the guide of Jane which was written in her article in a detailed way on how I can buy $EBEN token. But before that I already have the metamask wallet since I already hodl $Cats token as well.
I only have accumulated $Cats at first. Then I followed to try the staking of $EBEN. So, I downloaded the CoinFlex wallet since it is also needed in sending your bch from your bitcoin wallet and convert that into bch SEP20 which used in the metamask wallet to buy EBEN.
Following the guide were just easy. So I followed Jane's guide but I won't deny that I had headaches as well when I started to explore it. So, expected as a noob there were some errors along the way. I encountered some errors while I tried to navigate my coinflex. That is why I asked helped to Miss Eyb and Jane. Good thing that they both assist me along the process and lucky for me that Miss Jane were so generous as well. ***(You know what I mean sis, Thank you for that.)***
So first of, I only bought $4 of EBEN but since there were some fees along the process so I was just able to buy $3 of EBEN and successfully staked 6 EBEN from it in the EBEN Pool on benswap dex.
Then the next day, Miss Jane chatted me. Why not I should buy $20 of it since the price of EBEN is increasing and has the chance to reach $1 per EBEN and more. So, of course I listened to her but I only added $10 since I don't have enough bch as well in my wallet. Therefore, a total of $13 of EBEN that I successfully bought and able to staked 24.645 EBEN from my $13 worth of bch and now my staked EBEN already earned 0.5 EBEN and counting.
**Now the question is.**
Do I really make profits from it knowing that I invested $13 of bch to buy $EBEN?
The answer is a **BIG YES.**
During the time that I bought EBEN, the price of the said token was at o.5dollars that is why from my 13dollars I able to have 24.645 EBEN. Then checking the price of EBEN now. It was already at 1.091 dollars.
See picture below.
Therefore, from my $13 which I able to have 24.645 EBEN basing on the price of EBEN now which is $1 plus. I now profited almost $14 already. So, it's more than half already from my investment which is only $13 and still excluded the EBEN that I earned from staking. It's not that much, but it's already a fulfilment for me since my investment wasn't wasted instead it increases more than a half. I am very happy that I tried my luck on this kind of thing since this is my first time exploring in the crypto world doing staking some tokens.
Then recently, I explored the benswap dex. As you can see in my metamask wallet I had another token aside from $EBEN and $Cats. I also had PHA (Alpha token) and sBUSD token. In PHA token, I had 110 from @NakamotoBch. Then just now, I explored on the swapping of token and I found out that I can swap PHA to EBEN and the time I swapped it 65PHA is 1EBEN. Since I don't know where to used the PHA so I just swap 65PHA to EBEN so I already had 1 EBEN in my wallet as well aside from what I staked and and earned from staking.
Then the token $Cats, I also found out that I can as well swapped it into EBEN.
By now as you can see, 4077.61 $Cats is equivalent to 1 EBEN. Since I have 21000 $Cats, therefore I can swapped that one into 5 EBEN. But I still not do it because I don't have enough sbch. So, I'm now sending another $2 to my coinFlex so that I can able to swap tokens like that.
I don't know if I'm right of planning to swap my Cats into a dog. Any suggestion? If I should HODL $Cats and wait for its price to pump or swap it to $EBEN instead. What do you think is the best thing to do? ***(Calling experts here. Charoott haha)***
Then regarding to the other token which is sBUSD. I still don't know where to used that one. I'm still exploring. I seemed to be a DORA THE EXPLORER on the crypto space because of this Lol.
**Is it a bad thing to aimed higher? Because for now I'm aiming higher for the $EBEN to pump $10 or more so that profits from it will also be more merrier. We don't know right? Maybe. Hopefully. We are in the crypto world and prices were dynamic so it may be possible.**
***Disclaimer:*** *I'm not sharing this for financial purposes or advice. I'm just sharing my experiences and what I've learnt from it. So, if you wish to try it as well then kindly DYOR deeper for it.*
*In the crypto space, it's always* ***TAKE AT YOUR OWN RISKS.***
**That's all for today everyone. Have a great day ahead!**
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
Long Lost Crush
3rd of September 2021
When we were in our teenage years, highschool days to be exact. Crushes were there, left and right. Actually, having crushes were just normal and it's part of maturity. During our highschool days we tend to have crushes either our classmates or not. Some were very vocal about their crushes and some were also secretive.
Just like me, I won't deny that I had a crush before when I was in my 2nd year high school and I am very secretive on that matter. Only myself knows about whom I admire and even my close friends before never knew about it. Because as what I've said I'm a secretive type of person in terms of the said matter because I'm afraid being bullied in the first place.
When I was in my 2nd year high school, I had this ultimate crush of mine. I don't know why everytime I saw him that time my heart keeps beating fast as if there are instruments inside. My stomach as well has lots of butterflies inside. Were closed actually. We laughed together, we talked since were a close friend aside from being a classmate. He keeps on smiling and when he laughed that's the time I admired him the most. I love how he smiles and laughed. His like a guy that is a happy go lucky guy. I really admired him and I have a crush on him but only me who knows that. I like the way he put his hands on my shoulders while were walking towards the canteen to buy a snack. He never knew that I'm secretly had a crush on him that time. I keep it a secret because I'm afraid as well that I will lost the friendship we've had if ever he knew. So, I just keep it in myself and just go along with him.
One time, it was afternoon and it was raining outside too while we are waiting for our MAPE Teacher. I sit at the back part, but that wasn't my seat at all because I sit in front. I just sit at the back because I'm writing something that time. I don't know what comes to my mind but I'm writing his name (my crush name) and my name and then I enclosed it with a heart shape. Without me noticing while writing it, my other classmate who happened to be my crush cousin saw what I'm writing because she's at my back that time. Then, when I noticed her I then crumpled the piece of paper and threw it outside. Then I asked her if she saw what I'm writing then she told me that she just saw the heart but not clearly saw the names in it. I was glad that moment when she doesn't saw any names but again without me noticing she went outside ang picked up the paper that I thrown and read what's inside that paper. She just called me when she's already outside and done reading on what's in it. The paper were wet knowing it's raining that time but still she picked up the paper and read what's inside. Then, afterwards she starts teasing me and I begged her not to tell her cousin.
**Fast forward.**
In the 3rd quarter of the year. Both of them, (my crush and her cousin the one who knows about my crush) transfered to another school which was nearer to their house because both of them as well were living in the same barrio. I was quite sad knowing that my crush will transfer to another school. But still thankful that my crush cousin never told him about what she knew until the time that they already transfered to another school.
**3 years later.**..
3 years later after that, I'm already in my 1st year college which I'm taking Engineering first since my profession now which is being a Teacher were just my second course. My crush and I met again since we found out that we are in the same school. He took Criminology and I took Engineering. So we are in same school but we are in different department. We saw each other during intramurals in our school were students can gather together. This time the crush feeling were already fades away. So, I don't have a crush on him anymore or a feeling for him. That was just only when we were in 2nd year high school.
So, when we saw each other of course we talked and then found out again that our boarding house were also near to each other as well. So, every 5PM - 6PM after our classes. He will passed by in my boarding house and will call me to have a snack and eat some ***"balot"*** . Of course since he will be the one to pay it so I'll go with him to have snack together and after we eat ***"balot".***
By that time, I only see him as a friend already and nothing more beyond that. I even forgot that I had a crush on him before. So, we go out together that time as a friend and nothing else more. Since, we usually go out together after we knew we are just living nearly and he always visits me at my boarding house too. That time as well I had a boyfriend already. If you can remember my boyfriend that time was the 2nd ex of mine if you happen to read my type of exes article.
So, that is why I only go out with him as a friend since I also don't have a feeling on him like a crush on him anymore since that feeling was just 3 years ago. But one time after we had a snack outside. He just suddenly out of nowhere asked me if can we be together like boyfriend girlfriend. I somehow got shocked on what he utters that time because I never expected that. So, there were such an awkwardness overload in that moment. Then, I just told him that I had a boyfriend which in the first place he knew. Then he just said that he will wait for my response. ***(Haha ganda ang peg lol)***
After that, when we already got back to our respective boarding house. He chatted me that he will wait. Then I told him not to hoped for it because I already had a boyfriend that time. Then he said that his cousin (the one that caught me writing 3 years ago) told him that I had a crush on him. Then, I responded Yes and told him that I had a crush on him but that was just 3 years ago and now I just see him as a friend. Then he replied that he tried to court me because he knew that I had a crush on him before and hoping that I will say Yes to him. But it was the other way around. I felt like he just take advantage of knowing that I had a crush on him before.
After that chats, he became cold to me already and he stops visiting me for a week. But, after a week he visits me again and we had snack and he felt sorry because of what happen.
Fast forward.
We still became friends up until now. But we just rarely chat each other. He already graduated with BS Criminology and I guess his already part of the Police force now.
**That was it everyone. A story about my long lost crush.**
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
***Special mention***: *To my newest sponsor* @PH.BCH *thank you for the sponsorship. His new here in this platform so let's support him too. More blessings to us*.
Lead image source https://www.google.com/search?q=crush&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CSjgebudvfXCYd2fs_1Wyv6R_1sgIGCgIIABAA&client=ms-android-vivo&prmd=ivnx&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CBIQuIIBahcKEwjom_WE1NryAhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQBg&biw=360&bih=646#imgrc=on0fNsbTI6VZPM
Uncontrolled Destiny
2nd of September 2021
Have you asked yourself of what's your destiny? Like, when and how our life ends? Since, we knew this life we've had is not ours. We've just given a chance to took care of it. Then, the big question is that.
ARE YOU READY IF EVER OUR TIME CAME? and HOW READY ARE WE FOR THAT INSTANCE?
I came up to this article because of some realizations that came to my mind after I've heard the bad news yesterday.
Yesterday, I and my mother chatted about how was my kid. Then we talked about my kid and my mom told me that my son were okay there. Then I asked how was my son during night if he's crying and if his looking at us. Then I'm glad that my son were not crying there during night but sad thing my mom told me that our son never looked for us. It's because his enjoying and playing along with my two siblings. ***(How sad? Pwede na pala talagang iwan kasi hindi na kami hinahanap haha***) But when we did a video call yesterday, my son were crying when there internet connection lagged because according to my mom he still wanted to see us in the video call but the problem is they don't have stable connection there.
So, so much for my son. I've shared a lot already.
After were talking about my son. My mom then shared to me on what happen to our neighbor whose happen to be our Chapel President there. My mom told me that our neighbor was already terminally ill and already fighting for her life now.
I was shocked when I knew it because I'm still seeing her last August 16 during our fiesta there. I've seen her still in good condition as if she doesn't have any signs of illness. She's our Chapel President and she's very kind. Then I guess she's still in her 30's and she has 2 kids both are still elementary kids. When I knew about it I asked my mom how does it happen were in fact I've known her and seen her looked like physically fit as if she doesn't have any sickness. Then, my mom told me, it started after the fiesta because she was already vomiting for almost a week. Then, decided to sent her to the hospital because of that. Then, after some tests it was found out that she has a leukemia (cancer of the blood) and already in a critical stage. Then the doctor decided to sent her back home and last Sunday she was already in their house and my mom told me that she's very weak already and has a pale skin. Actually, the doctor said that she must have to undergo bone marrow transplant but because of not having enough money for that. Then they just decided to sent her back home and just wait for what's destined to her.
I really felt sad after hearing that bad news. Because I knew she's still young for that and she has two kids that are still needing her care and attention. In addition, her father also needs her because her father were already bedridden as well and her brother needs her because her brother suffers from mental illness too. Then of course her husband also needs her in their little business. Most especially her child still needs her.
Then, I told this bad news to my partner because he also knew who she is. Then my partner told me that we really don't when and how our life ends and it never chooses on what your age is if your an adult or still a kid. **If it's our time then it is really our time and we cannot control that to happen. That's what we called the UNCONTROLLED DESTINY.**
My Realizations:
Yes. We really don't know what, when and how our life ends. So, that is why we should be ready for that all the time. Because we are out of control on that kind of matter. If only we see the future then maybe we still or able to somehow escape from that in the first place.
My partner already told me last week about what should I do when suddenly he will be out of the picture. He told me where to bury him and what should I do. Then, I also got shocked about that because he just out of nowhere told me that. But of course his right, we should be ready if ever because we are not the one who holds our life. We just borrowed this life from the Mighty Creator.
But, the question is...
**ARE WE READY FOR THAT?**
Some may say ready but some says not. Why? Because we all have goals that needed to be achieved and that made us not ready if ever anytime of the day, week, months and years our life will come to an end.
Today, we may seem physically fit but we don't know by tomorrow we became physically ill and worst became terminally ill. Just like what happen to our Chapel President.
It's very sad. But we can't control that matter to happen. Maybe that's already her destiny and we have nothing to do with that.
I will just pray the she still can fight longer for her illness and hoping for a miracle to happen.
This was a sad article everyone. Because I really felt the pain on the family of the ill by now while I'm writing this article.
That's all for today everyone.
Still, have a great day ahead!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
***Special mention:*** *Thank you one more time for the generous sponsor of mine* @Bloghound *for renewing and adding more sponsorship payment to me. Thank you sis. Super happy and blessed that you still keep supporting me. God bless sis.*
Lead image source https://www.google.com/search?q=uncontrolled+destiny&client=ms-android-vivo&prmd=vinx&sxsrf=AOaemvIuLshrpAprIIRTcPM2rHZkTOrj4Q:1630503821911&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjU8--I9N3yAhWOQPUHHULdAMwQ_AUoAnoECAIQAg&biw=360&bih=646&dpr=2#imgrc=7XYxCeKFHtUhLM
Woaahhhh sis @Bloghound super thank you for renewing your sponsorship. Not just renewing it but you add more payment on it. Thank you Thank you sissy.
More blessing as always.
Goodbye August
1st of September 2021
***Yehheeeyyy***!
Another month ended and another month started. The start of a month were we can able to start new journey, or continue what we've started from the previous months. Another month to settle things that are unclear from the previous months. Another month were we can hope for our future amd start or continue as well the goals that we wanted to attain in our lives.
As for me, September is the month that I or we my family can start with our own and live in our own which is away from the environment with full of negativities. A month that I hope for a showers of blessings and a month were I already have peace of mind.
**Note:** *Actually, this wasn't the article that I should be writing for today. But this morning I've seen a memory in the album of my partner's cellphone. It's a* ***"Goodbye, August"*** *memory.*
*Then some experiences flashes in my mind when I read the* ***"Goodbye August"*** *since when I looked back August I must say that August was a blast for me. A lot of things happened within that month. Negativities bombarded me in that month. I must say that the previous month tested me. It tested my patience and my dignity as a person. It tested my family, my own family to be exact. It tested how strong I am in handling situations that are non-tolerable. That is why I felt writing this now. Since today also is the first day of september.*
If you happen to read my previous articles about the struggles I'm facing within the previous months. It's all about how we were able to escape from a toxic environment. You will have idea on why I'm saying "Goodbye August" .
To those who haven't read it then feel free to read it as well.
***When situations demotivated me to write*** https://read.cash/@Janz/when-situations-demotivated-me-to-write-2cfec00e
***It was so heavy for us to be free*** https://read.cash/@Janz/it-was-so-heavy-for-us-to-be-free-44fda36b
***My Infinite Thanks*** https://read.cash/@Janz/my-infinite-thanks-72ee4349
Goodbye August
**It is really a GOODBYE.**
Since August brought a lot of negativities in me and my family. I'm saying goodbye for I hope that those negativities won't happen again as we start our life living separately from those people that brought those negativities.
Goodbye, for I hope that I could have a peaceful mind were I wouldn't mind of those things that they may say about me. Things that are exaggerated and wasn't true about me.
Goodbye, since I knew the start of September will be peaceful already because I knew I and my partner won't be minding anymore of our actions since our previous months were we are still living in his grandma's house we can't do what we wanted to do or shall I say our actions were just limited for we knew there's an eye that always looked at us and will talked exaggerated things about us. Even when our son were crying because we scolded him for his doing some bad acts and all we wanted is to disciplined our son at his age already because we don't want to spoil him. There's someone that will always hinders us from doing that because she got angry if we scold our son. Like, how should I act there on my own if there's always someone that hinders me from doing such things. Like as well, it's not that we stayed in her house then she will have the right to dictates us on what we should do.
Goodbye, to someone who always brought the chaos in that house. The deaf cousin of my partner is what I meant. The deaf cousin whom they sided and just tolerated his mistakes that's why he became cruel as what I've also shared in my previous articles.
Last thing, goodbye for the toxic environment that I'm enduring for 8 months. Goodbye to those toxic people that always brought negativities in us which somehow leads to our fights with my partner.
I end up to the point that I really wanted to get out from that kind of environment since I cannot endure all of it at all. I don't want to make things worst before we separate there but it was already too late since things became worst already before we left.
I wanted to get out, the fact that I don't want that my 1 year and 8 month old son will sees how that environment sucks. I don't my son sees how toxic people there. I don't want my son will sees bad acts fro the deaf cousin of my partner and people there spoiled him.
That's why, despites all I experienced in that house I'm still thankful though that it made me stronger to stay away from them. So, this start of September were I knew the start of having the peace of mind and hopefully this will be the beginning of our journey as we build our own family. I know as well that misunderstandings is there especially I and my partner sometimes had misunderstanding but from what we experienced before we knew already how we handle things out as long as we are already away from those people that also brought us headaches.
**Now, I want to embrace the moment were we are already free. Free from all of the things that I've mentioned above.**
**Start the September with full of positivity and hoped for more blessings to come in our way.**
How about you? How was your previous month? and How was the start of your September?
That's all for today everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
***Special mention:*** *To sis* @nheng1118*, thank you for a thousand folds for renewing your sponsorship to me. Highly appreciated sis. Thanks once again. More blessing to you as well.*
My Infinite Thanks
30th of August 2021
Infinite Thanks?
Well, that is really what I felt right now. These days, as you happen to read my previous articles you will know that I'm somehow struggling from my in laws. Not really my real in laws to be exact because my real in laws or the parents of my partner were already passed away. So, the in laws I'm referring to is the grandma and my partner's uncle who stands as their father.
Actually not only me who were struggling from them but all of us, my partner and his siblings. Struggling because they talked too much about us. They even talked lies about us. They're just good at us, no at me especially if I'm in front of them but will stabbed my back when I'm already not in front of them. Since, I will confront if they already talked too much about me, if they talked lies already about me because I don't want that other people would looked at me differently just because of lies. I will surely confront them on that and I don't care if they were old or not. That is also one of the reason aside from the spoiled deaf cousin of them why I really wanted to separate a house. Good thing were already away from them and I will for sure have peace of mind already.
**Now, in this article I just wanted to expressed how grateful and thankful I am from the things that helped me financially, physically and emotionally the fact that we already in a separate house. I mean were already standing in our own feet and only us will be providing ourselves in our daily needs especially our foods.**
My infinite thanks...
**First and foremost, My Parents**
I wouldn’t be complete without them and that’s a fact.
In this time, they were the one whom I can lean on. I’m just so grateful that their shoulders were always ready for me.
They supported me from the beginning up until now that I had my own family. They supported me emotionally and even financially even if I wouldn’t asked them. They never talked bad on me and I never heard and seen them disappointed on my decisions in life. They may seems strict to me before when I was in high school but that was because they wanted me to surpassed all that challenges that I may encounter along the way. They cared me unconditionally. That’s why I’m so thankful for them.
Like in my situations now, which I’ve shared in my previous articles. They were always there for me. Well, actually not only me but us.
The time when I told them that we are going to separate a house. They even told me to just in their house together also with my partner’s siblings but I refused it because I’m already shy at them. Also, I wanted to start building my own family as well. I want to know how can we able to surpassed all the challenges in life together with my partner.
In addition, I asked my parents to get first my son here because we need to clean the new house we rented and we cannot focus on cleaning if our son is here knowing that there are lots to clean. Then again, without hesitations my parents came here the other day and they get my son first.
Actually, they were also happy that we separated from the house of my partner’s grandma because they also knew how toxic our environment there. Then we had a kid, they also don’t want that our kid will experienced such kind of environment.
So, it’s been one day already that my son was there with them and yesterday we started cleaning the house. Now, we are going to continue cleaning the kitchen.
**My own family, my Partner, my Son**
Of course, I wouldn’t have strength if not with them as well.
For what’s happening if not with the comfort of my partner I maybe torn apart for now. From the bad words they said about me, like judging me even though they don’t know the reason behind and even though they don’t know me. I’m really hurt of their words but with my partner taking my sides and stays beside me I felt the no cares at all of their words since my partner, the people that knows me well never judge me the way they do.
My son also helped me eased all the pain I felt from them.
That’s why I’m so grateful and thankful for them as well.
**BCH Community**
In terms of financial, my infinite thanks that I able to meet platforms that gives BCH as payment of our hard works.
My infinite thanks to @Zhyne06 that introduces me in this platform read.cash and the noise cash as well. Maybe without being in that platforms I don’t know if we could able to stay away from those people and if we could rent a house a now.
More so, my infinite thanks to read.cash and noise cash because I able to have earnings at least in just little by little I could able to earn here.
To be honest, as of now I’m only depending our finances here in my earnings here in read.cash and noise cash. Good thing I able to HODL and amount of BCH which I used as our start here in our new rented house.
With BCH, we able to bought necessary things needed in this house. I bought the important things that we need in the kitchen since we don’t have any things at all. My sis in law @isla_20 also helped me in that. She also withdraw her earnings from the said platforms to buy things we need here.
With BCH, we able to surpassed hunger and able to eat three times a day. Then, I able to buy the basic needs of my son which is hi milk.
Actually, I didn’t HODL much of BCH because I also used my earnings for my son. Just thankful that I still have 7,000pesos or $140 before we separate a house and I used that in living here in our new rented house.
I don’t still have a work for now. Actually I’m hired in a university but I will start teaching there this October. So for now, I need to surpassed this one month depending only with my BCH earnings in both platforms.
I even dived into accumulating $Cats which was a trend also now in the world of Smartbch. Even though I’m still doing my DYOR to fully understand about it because I wanted to have another passive income aside from the mentioned platforms since I’m badly needed it for now. I now accumulated 11,000 $Cats and I’m so happy that I already HODL such amount of $Cats.
I also wanted to jumped into the EBEN Token. I wanted to buy a token from my BCH but sad note I don't have enough BCH. I only have 0.2bch plus as of now. That's why I only tried accumulating the $Cats Token.
Furthermore, my infinite thanks to all the people behind this platforms specifically the people behind the BCH Community who helped me a lot, us to be exact. This is really a blessings to me especially in this times I am experiencing now. Aside from sir Marc whom I knew the founder. I may not know you all but my infinite and heartfelt thanks for you all in building this said community that helped us a lot. These is one of the answered prayer for me that in a passive way I could able to earn even just little by little. It’s already a big hel for me which only depending for it now.
Without all of this things, I may not be able to survived and surpassed all of the hardships in life knowing as well that we are facing the pandemic. That's why my INFINITE THANKS to all of you.
That's all for today everyone. I also apologized for the unread articles and unresponded comments and not being active here all the time because I'm still busy here cleaning our new house. Now, actually we still need to continue cleaning the kitchen part but I just need to finish this article first.
**So, that's it everyone. Still happy reading!**
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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Hello everyone.
I just want to apologized for I cannot response directly to all the comments because I'm still not in my mood for now due to the situations I'm into. Then I will also get busy for we will clean the new house were living now.
I also apologized for I already had lots of articles unread. I will leave it in my notification and will just read all of it if my time were already okay. Hopefully I could still able to read all of it. 😢
Have a great day ahead 😊
It was so heavy for us to be free
*"At last were free."*
*That was what I felt right now. At last were already free. Free, for we already separate from such a toxic environment. But it was so heavy for us to be free. It was heavy because of the situations that we faced before we were freed from such environment.*
***Disclaimer:*** *This may be a long narration of my sentiments for the second time. Hopefully you can still finish reading this*.
As you can remember my previous article entitled **"When situations Demotivated me to Write"****.** https://read.cash/@Janz/when-situations-demotivated-me-to-write-2cfec00e
I shared how I wanted to separate or to live away from were we stayed because of such situations that seems to be non-tolerable and I cannot bare it already. Knowing that, my partner's deaf cousin was a spoiled brat and can already do things beyond limits. Like, not afraid to stabbed someone or to even kill someone even if it's his cousins. Because as what he thought of doing, either good or bad but actually mostly bad acts, he will do that without any hesitations. That's how brutal already my partner's cousin is. They can't do nothing about it already because he was already a spoiled brat and thought that his father and his grandma will always be at his sides in whatever he does wrong. So, he became so boastful if he knew that his father is there and gone so wild when knew his father were also there to protect him. Because they were the one who tolerated him and that's why he became that way. He already thought that doing mistakes were just fine for him because his father and grandma were always at his side and just tolerates that and never disciplined him and they will always blame those other person whom doesn't made the mistakes. Because as they always say*, "Just always have patience in him because his not in his right mind because his deaf"* ***In bisaya, (pasensya e nalang na ninyo kay kahimangno man mo nga wa nay boot kay bungol***)
That was what they always say everytime my partner's cousin made a mistakes.
Yes, patience is there always. But not all the time that patience will always be the solution. My partner as what I've also said in my previous article, that he won't never tolerate his cousins acts. If his acts were already non-tolerable. So, he will really disciplined him right away. But sad to say, it's always my partner's fault everytime he did that. The father and their grandma will always take side on the deaf and even not listens to the explanations of my partner that they will all do the time take sides of the deaf because as what his acts already he was now being boastful. But then, they will always take sides of the deaf. What can we do? Our words are not being value even if it's for the goodness of the deaf. No one can defend my partner, his siblings and us if we tried to explained our sides even if we are in the right side. That is why we end up deciding to just separate from there and just rent a house for us not to be blamed on the situations and for us to be away from them as well.
So, yesterday I and @isla_20 my partner's sister already seeks for a house to be rented and good thing we had found one yesterday. Then, today were planning to helped the owner of this house to cleaned first the house before we moved here tomorrow. But again, today something happened that made us moved here in this new house immediately.
When I and my sis in law got back to their grandma's house (the house we lived in) since this morning we went here in the new house to confirmed to the owner that we are planning to moved here for tomorrow because were afraid the situations maybe worsen if we stayed longer in their grandma's house.
I should already start to fixed and packed all our things first. When I get all the clothes that I washed the other day I noticed that there were lots of stained in our white clothes that was just hang outside. I told my partner that the clothes specifically the white clothes that I washed the other day had lots of stained. I never knew that my partner will then confront the deaf, asking him if he does it or not. Because if I knew I will not let my partner to confront the deaf because were already leaving tomorrow.
Actually, my partner said that was just fine from the first place because the deaf cousin still afraid of him. He just asked if he does it then he left the deaf inside their house after his asking it. Then the deaf just sit down there in there house. But then, this grandma of them were already shouting which triggered the deaf to gone wilder. Because he saw the grandma is there of course to take his sides. My partner that time were already leaving away in the house because the deaf when confronted him just bowed down. Because of the acts of their grandma whose shouting and shouting because she thought my partner will kill the deaf even though that was just a confrontation and nothing happens at all. She then shouted and the deaf seen her and that made the deaf to almost stabbed my partner with a sword ***(sundang in bisaya).*** Since the deaf became boastful when he saw his grandma is there to take his sides.
Good thing my partner looked back and already saw the deaf that was already in his back with a sword. Then the old woman never stop shouting and she even got in the middle so my partner told his grandma to stay away because the deaf has a sword. Then my partner just wanted to frightened the deaf. When my partner runs towards the deaf to frightened it the deaf immediately locked himself inside their house. Then my partner told his grandma that if only she never shouted like that the deaf won't gone wild because he just confronted it and the deaf just even bowed down when he does that. He told his lola (grandma), that she was just so overreacting in fact his plan is just to frightened his cousin and he won't kill it. Because he just wanted to made the deaf realized his mistakes.
After that since the deaf were gone wild already, he then throws stones in the grandma's house and all the windows were got broken. I and my son locked ourselves in our room for us not to be hit by the stones. That was last longer and the deaf never stops throwing stones in the house untill all the windows were broken. So, I did call a police already to refrained the deaf and to put him first in station because my son were already crying inside the room hearing the stones that was being thrown inside the house which broke the window but when the police came the deaf were running away and the police never saw the deaf already. The police even get their guns because they saw the deaf has a sword. Then my sis in law told the police to just put away the guns because whatever happens to the deaf it's still our faults. But of course as what I've said the deaf were running away when he saw that there are police coming towards him. Then, we just let the police stay until we able to packed our things first and we immediately moved here in this new house.
Actually the father came, and told the police that his son won't be like that if only we just let everything pass away meaning we just let away the wrong acts of his son and to have patience in him. Then my partner confronted the father in front of the police that it's already a long time that he always puts patience and just let away all the mistakes of the deaf and not now because the deaf were already uncontrollable and must be stop and must be disciplined. But of course it's already too late for that because the deaf already has the attitudes. Then I also confronted the father, that if only he never tolerated the mistakes of his son from the beginning because knowing his son is deaf then his son won't be like what he is now. Then, the father responded, if what can he do now, he can't do nothing about it now because his son were already like that.
So, after everything packed we immediately moved in this house even our plan was to moved here tomorrow. Then, the police left when we are able to moved here already.
When all our things were moved. I then asked his sister and brother to also packed their things. Of course since they were just biking, my partner's bike was used by his brother to get back to their grandma's house to get also their things. Then, someone told us here that the bike's back tire again was being sliced by the deaf. What we did is we let them paid for the damages of the bike, then the father of the deaf bought another tire for the bike since his older daughter sent them the money to fixed our bike.
That was really sad, knowing the fact the situations really worsen before we able to moved in this new house. Then, it's also sad because it's always our fault. It's always us who were blamed by the father, the grandma for what happen.
I'm really wondering, until when they are going to tolerate how brutal already their son and grandson. In fact this deaf can really understand well if your talking to him in a sign language.
I was also sad because they put me on blame that I was the one who put the flame. Like what? Isn't their grandson and son who always put a flame and made the fire to spread out. Like why are they blaming me, if my partner's siblings will also leave their house and follow us then it's their decision as well because they also wanted to free themselves from all the blaming, from the toxic environment because if they stayed their no one will defend them because their explanations are not worth for them. No one will listens to them even their grandma were the number one who talks not good for them.
So, now we are here already in this new house that we rented and were doing our best to coped up with life. Because it's okay to feel the hardships in life as long as there is no toxic in the environment. For today, only @isla_20 is here with us. Their brother were still sleeping there in their grandma's house because their grandma is alone there and their brother will washed first their clothes before he will stay here since we are going to cleaned this house first.
I even contacted my parents to get first my son here for we cannot cleaned this properly if my son is here. Then they will come here tomorrow as well to get my son.
I'm hoping that this will be the start of our new life which we aren't bombarded within the four walls with lots of negativities.
I know one day, everything will fall into it's places and all our dreams as a family will come true.
Now, were already free from an environment which has full of negative ambiance. It wasn't that easy but still we able to surpassed it.
*That would be all everyone. Again, I apologized for this was a long sentiments. I'm really grateful for this platform that I could able to expressed my feelings here. I hoped I could received a comments from you all if what we did is right or not.*
**Thank you. Still, happy reading!**
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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When situations Demotivated me to Write
26th of August 2021
**Have you experienced the feeling of unable to write because of the situations around you? Or being unmotivated to write because of the happenings that happened for a particular day?**
Yesterday, I wasn't able to published an article because I felt demotivated again to write. **Demotivated,** not because I don't like writing, not because I don't have anything to write but because of the situations around me that made me felt the said demotivation in writing. I wasn't in the mood writing an article yesterday even though I already drafted a topic on what to write but because of my anger in the situations and in the people around me my mind and fingers wouldn't functions well since my mind also were bombarded with different questions about the situations that happened yesterday.
Actually, this wasn't the topic that I drafted yesterday which was supposed to be published yesterday as well but I felt like writing this now because I want to get out from this feelings that I felt right now. I knew that this platform would helped me eased this feelings through sharing here what is it and getting some feedbacks from it. Because here, I knew I can express it all without minding about what people will say.
So, this was what happen yesterday that made me felt demotivated to write.
My partner's sister @isla_20 already shares her sentiments about the happenings yesterday since were just in the same roof for now. Same roof but we felt the same way on the people around us here that are so toxic. That's why I always say that I am living in a toxic environment which really is the top reason that I really wanted to get out from here and separate but what can I do, we don't have our own house yet and if we rent a house our finances isn't stable for now. I'm not yet hired as a public teacher and my job is just temporary for now then my partner were still a student. So, what I can do now is to endure the situations here. I guess this is the consequence of our actions to make our own family without planning it right. I must faced first this consequence for now. By the way, you can also check my sister in law's article about the happenings yesterday. It's here. https://read.cash/@isla_20/its-raining-and-we-can-do-nothing-about-it-37bd4340
If you remember, if your really reading my articles and if you happen to read my previous article two weeks ago entitled **“Tolerating mistakes is really getting into my nerves”** **.** https://read.cash/@Janz/tolerating-mistakes-is-really-getting-into-my-nerves-8056b387
I shared in there about how cruel my partner’s cousin who is a deaf for putting a thumbtacks in my partner’s bike tire and through that, few days later we even bought a new interior for the tire. Then yesterday, this deaf cousin of my partner stabbed again many times the back tire of my partner’s bike. My partner already suspected it’s him who did that because he was so obvious and guilty when he was being confronted by my partner. Take note, we bought already a new interior of that tire and then this deaf cousin of him stabbed it again not once but many times because it has lot of holes not only 8 holes but more than that. Because of my partner's anger he almost killed again the rooster of his cousin but this grandma of them is there so it wasn't happen.
All my partner wanted is to not tolerate the act of his cousin that’s why he wanted to disciplined it. But their grandma and the father of that mute cousin of him will always take sides on his cousin which leads to the fact that this cousin of him were a cruel brat and a very spoiled one. This cousin of him even not afraid to stabbed someone with a knife which he actually does one time.
Then, my partner because of his anger he also talked back to his grandma whose siding his cousin which she must not do for his cousin to reflect his mistakes. My partner talks back because he wanted to clear things out about things that his grandma were talking about. Because this grandma of him were not listening of what my partner was explaining about the what’s the mistakes of his cousin but his grandma never believed it instead she believes on what the deaf were saying which was a lie. In the first, this grandma of them knows how a liar his deaf grandson and then she still believed in him. Like what the h*ck?
Then she will just say that my partner has no manners. How come? No manners? If we are going to explain our side because she’s not already right in what she’s saying. Then, we already have no manners. We already don’t respect her. Is that how close minded she is.
Sorry for the terms everyone, but I really got sucks of their grandma’s attitude. Like she will not fair on how she treats her grandsons.
What’s the big deal if my partner’s cousin is deaf? If he creates a mistakes, should we just tolerate that because his deaf? If he will make a mistakes, we will just forgave him all the time even though it is not already tolerable?
His deaf, yes. But that doesn’t mean all his wrongdoings will just be tolerated. It must be disciplined in the first place. My partner will never tolerate him and disciplined him but what happen is that their grandma and the father will always put the blame on my partner just because his cousin is deaf.
Really? I really hated that fact. Because, it shouldn’t be tolerated at all. What if their deaf son and grandson will kill someone because they just tolerated his wrong acts in the first place. Then how are they going handle that? Are they going to tolerated that heinous act again and again. Is that the right thing to do? Because for me, it’s totally not the right thing at all.
Disciplined should be there despite the fact of disability every time made a mistakes for it to realized that his done wrong and he won’t do it again.
These are the things that really made me felt demotivated to write yesterday. I felt anger from their acts which is not already in it’s accordance.
For now, we really wanted to separate from here because I don’t want to make things worst and first of all I don’t want my son to see how they were toxic here.
Actually today there’s another happenings that triggered us to separate. But I won’t disclose it here because this article will be full of sentiments already. I will just think if I will share it here or not.
Hopefully, we can find a house to rent as soon as possible.
That’s all for today everyone. I’m sorry for the terms and for being sentimental for today. I just want to let my heart out through this article.
Have a nice day!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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Let's continue with the type of exes I had
24th of August 2021
As I've said I'm going to continue what I've started in my previous article entitled **"The Text Mate Cousin"**. It was actually about my types of exes. For this time I'm going to share the 2nd to 5th exes I had. ***(Medyo haba ng hair ko rito ahh, need na ba putulin? Lol)*** https://read.cash/@Janz/the-text-mate-cousin-2851b0a8
*I supposed to write the previous article yesterday but I wasn't able to access my account for some happenings brought by the platform. So, for today I'm gonna published two articles. The* *previous one* *and this one.* https://read.cash/@Janz/the-text-mate-cousin-2851b0a8
Now, let's continue.
**2nd Ex: The Boy Next Door**
Actually, I don't know what to call him but just bare with me when I just called him the boy next door. Haha
He's actually good looking. His aura is like a "chickboy" aura. His dark and handsome but not tall. Haha
He was my ex that lasts for almost three years and my ex that I defended from my parents.
We had this secret relationship before because of my parents but his parents knows about us because his been proud telling his parents about me. When we passed to their house he will call his nanay and then put his hands in my shoulder once his nanay or mother can already sees us.
We met secretly before. But one time when he visited me at my grandma's house while were talking together with our grandma, my father passed by and he's got mad because he sees my ex was there too. So my dad asked me to go home. Of course I went home immediately. Then he, broke my phone that time. That was fine for me because it's their money though. Haha
I guess my father that time doesn't really like my ex, because my father and my ex father are not in good pace because they had arguments that time about the horse of my ex father eaten the some of the grains that my father planted. So, that's the reason why my parents doesn't like me to be with my ex.
But since, I don't understand the situation. I still stays with my ex secretly. Since I don't have a phone my ex let me borrow his phone. Then we still had contact while I'm in my first year college.
Since there's no secrets that can be hidden forever. My parents again knows that we still together but that te that they knew, I had a misunderstanding with my ex. So, before my father confronted me, I told them that I will go out first to meet my ex because I want to end up what's with us. So my father let me and said that I should went home at 10PM. So I meet him up and talked about things, I actually forgot of what was our arguments that time but I remember I broke up with him but he never accepted that. So, since it was 10PM already when I supposed to go home. I saw my father in front of us, and told my father I will go home already. Then he follows me as well. When I got home, I don't know why I was crying. i was crying in front of my parents and what they did is to sing a heartbreak song. So, even I'm crying I then laughed because I thought they will scold me but rather they sang a song.
After that, it wasn't the end of our relationship. He then asked me to get back to him. So I get back to him again and we fixed things out that time.
Our final break-up was when he decided to go to Manila to work since his done with his TESDA course and there was am offer job for him there. Since LDR (long distance relationship) wasn't for us. So we broke up.
After that, we don't have a communication for 3 years. But when I was in my practice teaching he chatted me out of nowhere if how was I? Then I told him I'm fine. Then he said he want me back and said he doesn't have girlfriend after we broke up because his still waiting for me.
I was like. Ohh c'mon don't me. Your good looking and you haven't had girlfriend. I don't think so. It was just another flowery words from you.
I told him then. I had a boyfriend. His my partner now actually.
After that he stop pursuing me again.
Hopefully his happy now too, coz I am.
**3rd ex: The Basketball player**
Why I said, basketball player?
Because he was so tall when I first meet him. I guess I was just in the middle of his waist and shoulder. Haha
When I first meet him, I was like his younger sister and I felt the awkwardness all over my body. But he was actually a basketball player.
We never lasts for a month actually. I don't have nothing to say more about him because we never stayed long. His the first guy that had a relationship with me that never lasts for a month after my break up with the 2nd ex. Haha
**4th ex: The Frustrated Singer**
Actually, I don't meet this guy. We were just chat mates and ends up to be boyfriend and girlfriend through chats.
The frustrated singer. Because his actually a singer and he said he joined already a lot of singing contest near in his town. I able to hear him sing one time because of my friend that told me she will came back to our boarding house that time but end up I was the only boarder who came back at our boarding house. Actually that friend was no other than the beautiful classmate, board mate, best friend?, Haha @Zhyne06
That was it, I was the only one person in the boarding house that time. Since as what I've said this friend of mine told me that she will also came back at the boarding house but she wasn't. So, I was planning to went home again but I was thinking it's a waste of fare again. So, I decided to stay at the boarding house alone for one night.
My accompany that time is this man who is a "singerist" haha. I told him I was alone in my boarding house and I'm quite afraid already if someone would enter the boarding house and also there were lots of dogs that sounded like they seen a horror. Since the dogs are barking in a horror way. ***(Haha I don't know what's the English term, basta kay nang uwang in bisaya.)***
So, this ex. Accompany me since were talking on the phone that time. He said for me to be afraid he will then sing a song for me. So, he sang a song. I'm just listening to him that time. He has a good voice actually. I guess I felt asleep already in his 3rd song. Because I just woke up and found out I still wear the headset. Haha ***(Tinulogan lang)***
He was the 2nd guy that never last for a month with me. Haha
**5th ex: The Aggressive Jealous Guy**
We met again this guy through facebook. He just suddenly chatted me out of nowhere. Of course here I am single again and ready to mingle again. Haha
So, we chatted. We became friends through chats. Then he asked me to meet up. I said yes. Then he said that I will just tell him when I wen home because he will come to sent me home because he had a motorcycle. ***(Iba talaga pag may motor ehh nuh? Lol)***
Of course I agreed on that kind of meet up to save money or to save my fare.
Our first meet up was when he sent me home. He was actually the first guy that I introduces at home and his not yet my boyfriend that time, just a chat mate. Hah
After the meet up, he then visited me at the boarding house. Then we end up boyfriend and girlfriend. When were in a relationship I found out that his a jealous guy. Because he gets angry when I can't reply to his chats immediately. He gets angry when I can't answers his calls because I'm in the middle of my exams which he also knew. He gets angry when I will not allow him to visit me because I can't prioritized h because I had lots of school works to be done. I was so fucked up by his act.
One time when he visited me, I was shocked because his asking things beyond limits. (You know what I mean) Then he gets angry when I refuses that. Like what? Really, is that kind of man you are? I was quite discouraged of his acts. Were not even lasted for 2 weeks then he asked that things. Wow, so aggressive.
Another is when he said that his willing to go with me like (makig-taban in bisaya, sorry I don't know the english term) if only I will said yes. Then he said that he likes to have a family already and if I'm willing his ready for that. Then he even said that we should start saving for our future.
I was like, ohhh noooo.. I'm in the wrong tree. Haha Like, heyyy can I finish my studies first before minding that kind of things your talking about. I don't even know for a month then your talking such things. Haha Really?
So, what I did because I was afraid I get married anytime. I find ways how to get out in that relationship. One time he gets angry for not allowing him to visit me because my alibi is to have some paper works to do. So I used that to broke up with him. Am I bad for doing this?
I just wanted to get out because I felt pressured with him and the way he gets jealous wasn't my type. I hate being pressured.
So, that's it. We just lasted for 3 weeks. Haha
There are persons in our life that will come and go. To have experienced different types of exes made me learnt something. That learning was very helpful for me when I'm dealing again into a relationship. Now, I am happy and blessed that after my 5th ex I found already my real partner in life and hoping that he will not became or be listed as my 6th ex. Hopefully not.
That's all for today everyone. This was my 2nd article of the day. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
**Special mention:**
To @Pichi28 as my newest sponsor. To @immaryandmerry and @Eylz2021 for renewing your sponsorships to me. Thank you so much. My heartfelt thanks to all of you.
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The Text Mate Cousin
24th of August 2021
***Do I really have exes? Then, the answer is YES. I do have exes.***
When I was reading some of the articles about their type of exes, the memories I had with my exes also flashes in my mind and while it flashes I was just laughing at myself and asked myself this question. "Really, I had that type of exes?" Then, I ended up sharing with as well those type of exes I had. ***(EXES with S talaga, kasi more than one sila haha Siguro di ko na mabilang haha charroot lang po. Mga lima lang naman sila haha)***
For this time I'm going to share my first Ex.
**1st Ex: The Textmate Cousin**
When I was in my high school days, I had this long time text mate. We've been texting each other for 3 years. Were in the barrio actually. The funny this is that were so closed in text but when we see each other we don't even talked. We just greeted each other and then that's it. He just called me text mate and so do I. Then nothing else more. That's us in personal very opposite when we were texting. I'm enjoying with him through texting because he has a humor, he was a joker in text but I don't know why he changed mood if we see each other in actual.
So, we enjoyed as text mates for three years. I don't any sparks or feelings texting with him it's just that I'm enjoying it because he made me laughed of his texts. Then, one time he became serious and then he shared to me if I could helped him with the girl he likes. He told me that he likes someone but he don't know how to start the move and his also afraid of the mother. So he asked me if I could helped him.
Then, of course I asked him if whose that girl so that I will know how to approach the girl and whom to approach.
Then he said, if I really don't have an idea of who his talking about.
Of course I said I don't any idea. Then I asked him again of who is that girl. Then I'm shocked of his reply.
He said, it was me. Then I was, what? Why me? I don't have feelings for you. ***(Haha charoot)***
When he said that, I don't know what to say to him. As in I'm silent that time. Then I just heard that he said, it's okay for him if I'm not going to say anything for that time, he will just wait.
After his confession, I'm really thinking that time of why me? I didn't expect that because all I know were just texting each other because we both had fun texting each other and I don't have any idea that he will end up confessing to me.
Still, after that we keep on texting each other. Then he always asked me of what my answer is. So because I want to give it a try as well. I said yes to him. Then, after that I had already unlimited load. Haha. This is true because he was the one who kept on buying load for me even if I'm not asking that to him. I just get shocked when there's a text of the Smart Load even I still have a load, he will buy me load again. That's why my money for buying a load was saved that time.
We've been together for a month. It's only a month because I found out that he was still my cousin which I didn't know in the first place. Because if I knew I wouldn't said yes of course.
So, I just stop texting with him without saying anything after I knew that were still cousins. But still he keeps on giving me load that time. Then he said why am I not replying to him. One time he called, then he said what's wrong? So I told him that we should stop this and we should broke up because were still cousins. Then he said he knew it, but because he likes me he still courted me. Then of course, I get angry because he knew it but then he still pursuing me. I was kind of what?
He then begged me that time to not broke up with him and he said we will just hide it. Of course I don't agree with his idea because first of I don't like to be with a cousin it's arrgghhhh.
A day after our break up, I just found out that he flew to Manila. Then we he was there I received a text from him saying that it's because of me he flew to Manila because he will just hurting himself seeing me around.
I just don't reply with that last text of him and just prayed he will find his meant to be there.
Actually, he had a son already now and his happy. But everytime he sees me, I don't know if I'm really that ugly or still he's angry with me or what because he will not looked at me when he sees me and if he knew that we will passing by, he then change way.
There was even one time that his wife will looked at me fiercely when I passed by their house. I was kind of, what's wrong? Is there something I need to know? Charoot. Yeahh, because why looked at me that way where in fact I don't do anything wrong. If it's about my relationship with her partner then were already done for a long time though. So why is that looked? Haha
**That was how we end up with my first ex which was my cousin that I didn't knew in the first place.**
*There are still lot to share, but I will end it here first because I'm hungry already and we are going to eat breakfast now. I just make another article for the continuation since I still have another types of ex. Haha*
That's all for now. Have a great day ahead.
Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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Another renewal of sponsorship.
@Eylz2021 thank you for still supporting me and my articles. So grateful for your renewal and it's such a huge for me as well. Thanks sis. God bless you 😊😇
@immaryandmerry thank you as always for your support 🥰 I’m happy for your sponsorship renewal.
More blessing to you sis 😊
Before I go to sleep. @Pichi28 thank you so much for becoming my newest sponsor for today. Highly appreciate it. More blessing to come your way. God bless 😇😊😘
Self-awareness: Is it necessary?
22nd of August 2021
***Do you know yourself well? Are you aware of who and what you are? Is self-awareness necessary?***
Those are some of the questions that pops up in my mind after I read the article of @dziefem about knowing thyself. You can also check her article, it’s entitled **“Are you good at Pretending?”** The same with the article of @BreadChamp about **“Examining Myself”.** https://read.cash/@dziefem/are-you-good-at-pretending-88600dd5 https://read.cash/@BreadChamp/examining-myself-249253bd
Their articles is about answering some questions on self-awareness. This is such a good way of knowing thyself. A good way to be aware of thyself. I am going to answers as well some random questions on it. It has 20 questions and I will just answer some for me to be able to examine if I’m still aware of myself.
I generate the questions through this **link.** https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/ask-yourself-these-20-questions-to-improve-your-self-awareness/
Let’s start.
Same as BreadChamp, I am good at faking my feelings to my family, classmates, friends, or to other people. I’m good at giving smiles where in fact deep inside I’m bleeding. ***(charroot, lakas maka bleeding Lol)***
But there is this one person that knows me well if I’m faking it or not. It’s my partner. I’m really curious why he knows that my smile is fake or it’s genuine. He knows I’m sad even though I’m smiling at him. He knows that I’m mad even though I gave him a smile. ***(Ewan ko kung bakit malalaman niya, siguro may anting-anting to ni Panday Haha)***
I’m bad at pretending my real feelings to my partner. As what I’ve said above, he knows. ***(Alam niya kung totoo ba talaga ngiti or hindi. E di siya na diba? haha***)
When I’m just lying all day without nothing to do or without doing something. That was so tiring for me.
My son of course. I already shared this one in my previous articles if you happen to read it.
My Family. My partner and my son.
All of them are the most important people in my life. Without them for sure I will be determined to reach all my goals in life.
I really need 8 hours of sleep but that’s I guess hard for me. I only had 4-5hours of sleep everyday because I always sleep late due to some works I had and woke up early because my son is an early bird. He even woke up at 4AM.
When someone will massage my back. It really relaxes me a lot. Another is that, unwinding in a seashore or beach. Every time I was in a seashore or beach, the breeze of the wind and the waves will also made me relax and will releases all the stress kn my body. It is somehow a stress reliever to me as well.
Success for me is when all my goals in life are being achieved already.
If my dream for my family, my own family especially my son are already realized. Then, that would be a success for me.
When my son get sick. That would make me sad for sure. One thing is when I had misunderstanding with my partner.
I want them to see that I already fulfilled my dreams in life. That I able to achieved all my goals in life. That I’m a strong, independent and a successful woman.
I get angry when my things are being used by someone without asking my permission. I don’t know but I just don’t like that my things which was organized and then someone will disorganized it without me knowing or without asking my permission.
I think sometimes that I’m weak. Especially when I had allergy attack. It is so tiring that’s why I may thinks sometimes that I’m weak.
I’m afraid of losing my son. That the most thing that I’m afraid of. I guess most of mothers knew this feeling as well.
**Now, can you tell me of who and what kind of self do I have.**
I must say that it is better for us to know and be aware of ourselves so that we cam reflects on the bad things that we do. It also helped us realized some points in life for who we really are. Therefore, knowing thyself or being aware of ourselves is necessary.
That’s all everyone. Happy reading!
Tagging my friend @Zhyne06 to also try this type of examining thyself. ***(Go gurl, para may maisulat kana Haha)***
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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1095 days with you and counting
21st of August 2021
*“Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day.” Unknown*
Today marks as an anniversary celebration of yours truly and my partner of being together. It's been 3 years of being in love and 2 years of being engaged to each other. I knew it's not that long already but we felt that we've been together for so many years already since from the very beginning up until now we already accompanied each other and we stays together too. So, that is why we felt that were staying together for like a decades now.
Within 3 years of being together, a lot of things already happens to both us and as well as discoveries on both sides. Still we managed to dealt with it and accepts whatever discoveries it is.
Let me share some.
**Discoveries on Attitudes**
At first, of course we both doesn't know our real attitudes when we get angry something like we just limits our attitudes to be shown to each other and I am super guilty of that. Before when we had fights, we just had the so-called silent war. We fought through chatting because we don't want our board mates to hear us fighting. But, when we deeply knew each other sometimes we fought physically but not to the extent. Then we talked about that, we talked that we should not fight that way especially we had a kid and we don't want him to see us fighting again that way. So, we agreed that in case we had some arguments one will just go out or leave the room for us not to end up fighting physically. But just good thing because he doesn't fight back, he just defends himself frome instead. I ended that kind of attitude. So as of now, if there's something that I don't like of what his doing, he knew already because I just don't talked to him instead and then he knows his part as well, he will distant himself from me.
**Even we had discoveries on both attitudes, still he accepted me for who I am and so do I. That’s the important thing. Accept each other’s flaws.**
**Got Engaged**
We got engaged for 2 years already. He asked my hands from my parents last July 2019 and planned to get married last August at the same year. We even get some papers needed for that like the CENOMAR but it was postponed because I chose not to prioritized first the marriage because I was pregnant that time and what’s need to be prioritized was giving birth first for we knew it will costs much as well especially the needs of the kid. So instead of wasting money for marriage we just saved that for my labor. Then we just planned to get married when we had enough budget for that.
**We became parents**
This was the best that ever happen to both of us. Became a parents. At first, we both struggles from the fact that we weren’t financially stable. Good thing I had my parents who helped us at first and guides us along the process of the parenthood stage. In just 3 years of being together, we are blessed to have a son that changes both our perspectives in life. We even became stronger as a couple and both loved each other more the time that our son came to us. We became more responsible and we both try our best to do whatever things it is that could helped us in providing ours son’d needs everyday. In every single day, we even tried as well to become a good parents to our son and we tried to be an authoritative parents to our son. All that we aimed for is for the betterment of our son. Good thing is that, we both have similarities in terms of dealing our son.
**We lived together**
We already lived together for 8 months now. After our son turned 1-year old, we decided to live together. So, last December I moved here in my partner’s place together with our son and were living in his grandma’s house for 8 months already.
As usual there are some things that I don’t like living here but I don’t have choice but endure it for now since we still don’t have enough budget to separate here. That is the main reason of why having our own house instead of living with someone is necessary. Because living here with his grandma’s house somehow made me felt the feeling of having a toxic environment and I don’t want that my kid would experienced the same. That’s why I’m eager now to have a permanent job for us to separate from this place were living at.
Staying together for three years is worth treasuring already. It may not be that long years for being together but for us, it is already. Now, were still counting for more years of being together as a couple and as a parents.
Now, I will end up this article through this quote.
“The couples that are ‘meant to be’ are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out
even stronger than they were before.” - Unknown
That would be all for today everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
**Lead image were edited by yours truly through photogrid.**
Slam Book Edition: My Version (2)
20th of August 2021
*For this time, I’m going to continue on what I’ve started. Answering random slam book questions which I’ve said reminisced our memories when we still have fond on answering such.*
Still using the same link where I generated the questions. http://nicabeatriz.blogspot.com/2015/12/100-slam-book-questions.html?m=1
**So for the last time, let’s answer this slam book questions.**
Actually my favorite number changes over time. Before when I was single my favorite number was 26 since that’s my birthdate. When I had a boyfriend which my partner also now my favorite number became 21 since it’s our monthsary date. Now, that I have a child already, 16 is now my favorite number since it’s my son’s birthdate. See, it changes every time there’s something good happen to me.
**“The secret of getting ahead is getting started” - Mark Twain**
That quote is really my favorite since I was in my 3rd year college. I remember that I even change my profile quote into that one and up until now I still uses that quote in my facebook profile. See picture below.
Aside from that, I also used the quote here in my read.cash profile.
I can’t remember how I started to like the quote. But every time I read the said quote I felt like more determined to strive and achieves all my goals in life. Because I this quote somehow dictates me to be persevere and to be hard working.
I have lots of movies that I’ve seen and liked them. But my favorite movies are those sci-fi (science fiction) movies. I also loved watching Chinese movies especially if it’s all about martial arts. I love seeing the girls who does levitation in the movie, like levitating in the bamboos and had fights in the bamboos.
I have lots of dreams. For my family that I can gave them a little business so that they will have something to get if in case I’m already out of the picture. But of course I have an ultimate dream for myself and that is to have my own family, I already have that but still there’s something that isn’t achieved and that is to have our own house. Someday I will be able to achieved that with the help of my partner. Lastly, is my dream for my son. I want to see him successful in life with our guidance as his parents.
I actually made an article of the worst thing that ever happened to me. It’s the first article that I wrote and published here in read.cash. You can check that article, it’s entitled **Once Crazy****.** It’s all about the worst thing that ever happened to me that I wish won’t happen again. https://read.cash/@Janz/once-crazy-81317d35
Can I say **MYSELF**. Because I considered myself as my hero since I able to surpassed all the trials that comes my way. That made me more stronger to faced again another challenges that I will be encountering ahead since we all know that this life is full of challenges.
Maybe being negative sometimes. I would like to eliminate that sometimes and change it to NEVER. For me to never think on negative things and just all are positive thoughts.
I’m just into considered as TRUE FRIENDS. True friends meaning a loyal friend, a friend that won’t stab my back, a friend that will stays with me even if I don’t have anything to give or I have nothing, a friend that is willing to listen and is a good influence to me.
When there’s something bad happen to my son. That would be my deepest fear. I always pray to God that He will guide my son and lighten up his way and will casts all terrible things that may happen to my son. I guess most of the mother would also feel same way as I do.
Of course. I want to be myself if ever I became the world leader. I don’t want to imitate someone just for the sake of leading the world because we have this individual differences. They have their own strategies and definitely I will have mine as well. Of course it’s all for the betterment of world and people living it.
So, that was all everyone. The last part of my slam book edition.
**Closing Thoughts:**
I am really having fun answering all the questions since it somehow made me feel like a contestant in a pageant whose answering in the Q and A portion. Haha
Anyways, this type of prompt just only reminds my days where I am still buying a slam notebook and have fond answering those questions in it. Then let all my classmates signed in to my slam notebook and it’s an achievement if all the pages in the slam notebook will be filled in.
How about you? Do you have this kind of experienced as well when you were in your teenage days?
`Let’s talk about it in the comment section.`
**Have a nice day everyone. Happy reading!**
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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Slam Book Edition: My Version
19th August 2021
**“Slam Book”,** hearing this words will just remembers my teenage years specifically my high school days. I remembered the time when I bought a slam notebook during my high school days and roamed it to my classmates and let them signed up in that said notebook up until the pages of the notebook will be filled in. With this, I can able to know of whose the crushes of my classmates that signed up in my slam notebook. It’s quite amazing and interesting, the fact that we could able to shares our own thoughts on the questions that was being asked in the slam notes. **Thus, answering this types of questions will just reminisce those days were I am still fond of answering such slam book.**
I’ve read several versions of different writers here on this prompt. So, I’m gonna try also my own version of this prompt which I knew if I’m not mistaken initiated by my friend @Zhyne06.
I generated my questions through this link.
http://nicabeatriz.blogspot.com/2015/12/100-slam-book-questions.html?m=1
**Now without further adieu, let’s start.**
Am I? **Definitely YES.** I am proud of myself because I able to surpassed all the challenges that I encountered so far. If you happen to read my previous articles, I’ve shared there how I able to fight depression. How I able to fight a lots of attacks due to my allergies. How I able to survived from dengue which almost sent me to graveyard. How I able to survived and gave birth to my my sons despite the circumstances and complications because of my health. How I able to provide my family, my son to be specific in this time of pandemic. That’s why I can say I’m proud of myself because of that and I’ll be more proudest if I have already a stable job. Hopefully, that will be soonest.
**My son.** When I became a mother everything changes. My perspectives in life changes and I can say I am more determined and I am eager to do what’s best for my son. Everything that I did, it’s all because of the betterment of my son. So, I can say he, my son, is the best thing that ever happened to me.
a **BLESSING,** for me to have a so-called friends is already a gift but to have such so-called best friend and able to build friendship is a blessing. It’s a blessing or shall I say another blessing that God has given since to have a loyal and a true friend is something like treasure. I can have someone I need to lean on aside from my family or my partner. I will have someone that I can shares my problems in case needed. I have someone that is willing to listen and comfort me in times of pains and happiness. I already have that someone. I already build that friendship to someone knows me and to someone I can talked on things that we both understand something like a parental guidance topics. Right @Zhyne06? Haha I also have someone here that I considered my friends that I must say I’m lucky to be able to meet them and able to have memories with them. They were also here in this platform, @Yzza0625 and @Thania05. Hope to see each other again and to have bonds just like before.
**Of course, I do.** I won’t be with my partner right now if in case I don’t believe in love. In the first place as well, I won’t be here living in my 23rd years in this world without my parents who loves me and took care of me. More so, being loved and to love is a very nice feeling. It made life complete and that is one of the source of happiness which we all need in our existence. Being happy for loving someone and being loved by someone.
Honestly, I still don’t have a gift for myself in terms of material things but beyond that I already have a gift to myself and that is my SON.
Basing on the current situations that we are facing nowadays. Then, I would chose a superpower that will vanished the virus in just a snap and all it’s variant so that everything will be back to normal and the economy itself will also be normalized.
But, overall not basing on anything then I would choose to have a superpower that allows me to read minds. For me to be able to know what people were thinking towards me and since I’m a teacher I would able to know too the minds of my students especially those shy type students that I cam still evaluates their learnings.
**I can talk while sleeping.** Haha I think that’s a special talent for me. Who else here can do this? Lol
**My family.** For they were the first that supports me throughout my ups and downs. **My own family specially my son**. They all serves as my inspiration to work harder and I always look forward to see them whose so proud of my achievements in life.
**“Sinigang na Bangus”.** Lately, I’ve been into this kind of viand. Then, it ends up as my favorite dish especially when it was cooked by my partner because his good at cooking. In fact, his cooking made me realized that I love “sinigang na bangus”. I would give up other viands except this one.
Sleeping, eating, reading and writing articles in read.cash.
To those who doesn’t know. I’m actually an old soul person. So, the music that I like the most are the 80’s and 90’s music hits. One of my favorite music is **“Too Much Heaven”** by Bee Gees. This became my favorite because it was special to me and to my partner. We both listened to this song together before and we started to liked it. Actually, my partner told me that everytime he heard the said song he will remember me. I don’t know what’s the reason but this song just became my favorite and has a sentimental value to both of us.
You can listen to the song here. Just click the video. (Courtesy of Youtube)
https://youtu.be/PTjquJKmiaA
So that would be all for now everyone. I still have lots of slam book questions to be answer but I will just make another article for that.
**Ciao!**
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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My experienced when I got drunk
18th of August 2021
***What are you when you get drunk? Are you wild? or Are you silent***?
I've read several articles about their experiences when they were drunk and I somehow relates to some of their experiences. Now, @OfficialGamboaLikeUs allow me to also join in your prompt since I also experienced the feeling of being drunk. Actually, not so drunk just somehow felt tipsy because I'm not also an alcoholic girl. In fact, I only got drunk 2 times in my 23rd years of existence in this alcoholic world. Lol
We got drunk because there's something special occasions, a party, a get together or it's because being drunk serves as our scapegoat from the pains that we felt in that moment. We drank alcohol from the thought of eliminating the heart aches in that time but after that pain is there again.
I'm also going to share my experienced of getting drunk for 2 times and how am I in that time.
Disco Party
I can't remember the exact year but I guess it's 2015 or 2016. You are free to guess. Haha
Anyways that time was a celebration or a feast of our Patron in our barrio. In other words, it's "Fiesta" in our barrio. That was August 16 and you can choose what year either 2015 or 2016 because I can't remember already. Maybe it's already a sign of aging or maybe I'm just too beautiful to forgot the exact dates haha.
Let's continue.
In that time, I was the one who leads the Youth Organization in our barrio. I've shared this one in my previous article about being the leader. You can check it here. https://read.cash/@Janz/lets-go-back-to-my-teenage-days-63084199
During that fiesta, we the Youth had planned to get a table for the disco party for us to also have a jamming time. So I did asked one of the youth member to buy a drink. I told him to buy only a beer since that's not too hard. But when they came back in our table they brought the so called "empe" or "emperador" which is a hard liquor. Then they said, there were no beers for it was all sold out. So we had no choice for that time, we drank the "empe" instead. Since, I'm not into alcohol therefore after having 3 shots I'm in tipsy ride already. Then, for 5 shots I'm already drunk I think because the world I've seen that time were already circling. Haha Then, imagine the lights in the disco, I felt more dizzy because of that. So what I did was, I go to my parents table then asked them to sent me home for me to go to sleep because I really felt dizzy already and I don't like the feeling.
So, in short. I didn't enjoy the party because when the party started I also went home because of that 4-5 shots that I felt like I'm drunk already.
Then when I was home my grandma was there and what's funny is that I always asked my grandma to close the window even though it's already closed because of ghost. Since I always repeated it like asking again and again my grandma to closed the window, my younger brother told my grandma to not say anything when I called her for me to stop asking. haha What a very good sibling though.
That was my first time getting drunk.
Forgetting the Pain
Yes. I drunk for the second time. This was because I find out something about my boyfriend and his ex. I’ve read their chats that made me felt angry with him. Actually I knew that his ex that time were still doing lots of experiments for him to get back to her. I’m aware of that because my boyfriend will tell me that time every time his ex were trying to approach him through texts, calls or chats. What made me felt angry for this time is that, my boyfriend chatted back to her and asked her ex to be in our boarding house because I wasn’t there. Good thing the ex didn’t go that time because what she want is to let my boyfriend left me and get back to her which doesn’t happen because my boyfriend still chooses me over his ex.
So, I did confront him why he did that. Why he let her ex come to our boarding house. Then he explained to me everything why his chats ends up that way. Of course because of my anger I didn’t accept his explanation and just told him to get back to his ex. But he didn’t. After that, he blocked her ex. Well, I didn’t asked him to do that but he just blocked her ex in front of me and told me that was the last time he will trapped himself again with his ex and then he chose me.
Of course, I’m in hurt. Then one of my board mate as well asked me to have drink then I said yes. Without knowing ai drank a lot already and in the end I vomit and vomit in the cr because of that since again I felt dizzy and all the foods I ate that time were all vomited. My boyfriend also were the one who took care of me that time. ***(Well, dapat lang it’s his fault. Haha)*** He boiled me water and did massage my hand until I fell asleep.
Then, in the morning he prepared breakfast but still I didn’t talked to him. Because I want him to feel that I’m not the type of girl that worth to be hurt by him. ***(Haha pa kipot style lang ba)***
That was actually the last time that I and my boyfriend who is my partner already confront fought about his ex. Since he blocked her, the ex can no longer get in contact with him. Then he also changed his phone number.
That’s how tragic my 2nd drunk experienced. Haha After that, I promised I won’t drink hard liquor again because I already felt how tiring it is after.
So, that was my experiences of getting drunk for 2 times in my 23rd of existence.
**I and my partner actually bought sometimes a bottle of beer an apple beer or San mig beer if we felt like drinking and we bought drank it together. It’s only a bottle so, we won’t get drunk of that.**
That’s all for today everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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Wow @Panky thank you for renewing your sponsorship. Super duper and highly appreciate it. More blessing to you 😊
How Am I when it comes to my partner?
16th of August 2021
*In a relationship, there are lots of things that you will discover to your partner and so does your partner to you as well. You will discover on how your partner treats you and how does he/she shows their love to you and of course your partner too discovers how you are as their lover.*
I've read the latest article of my best friend here in read.cash, the richest among us in BCH BEAUTIES haha. Richest because of her bch accumulated. Right gurl? @Zhyne06
Anyways so much for that. Her article was actually about answering again some questions on how is she as a partner. Now, I'm also sharing my own thoughts on some questions about how am I as a partner.
For all taken, you can also write your own version of this as well.
Here's the link of where I get the questions.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/play.howstuffworks.com/amp/quiz/what-type-partner-are-you-a-relationship
**Now, let's start.**
How kind are you?
Well, my partner always says that I am too kind to him especially if I'm not mad. I'm quite saintly if I'm not mad. Because if I am, I'm totally the opposite. Haha
How do show love?
I'm not that showy type of person. When I love someone I just wanted them to feel it in a way where I care for them. Just like when my partner sweats a lot, I just told him to change clothes immediately. When he felt some back pains, then I'll massage his back. Things like that. Because I'm a caring person. So when I care someone that means I also shows them my love. But of course a different kind of love in a different person. To my partner, of course it's somehow an intimate love.
But my partner is different. He cares for me as well. But the way he shows his love to me is different from mine. What he did is that he always hugs me, kissed me there's no such day that passed that he doesn't kiss me. Mostly he kissed me in the forehead. Then when we eat, in the middle of eating he just call my name and I always he will say something different but he will just say "I love you" to me. In other words, he always makes butterflies in my stomach. Haha ***(palagi niya akong pinapakilig)***
Do you avoid confrontation?
If I felt that it's nothing important and it's just a waste of time for me. Then, I will not confront on that to him. But, if I think I really need to confront such thing then I will. But good thing, everytime there's confrontation he then explained what it is. But so far, we don't have such big confrontations or a big issue.
How ambitious are you?
We all have ambitions in life. But for me, all my ambitions were not for me but for my family and of course to my own little family. For my son.
I remembered my partner told me that his lucky that I'm not ambitious. What he means is that, I'm not a type of partner that will asked him to buy things for me. Like I want this and that you should buy me that one. Because I'm not into material things as well. Good thing also my partner is same as me when it comes to being ambitious.
We both now have the same ambition amd that is of course to have our own house because we already have a home.
Do you think you can change a partner?
This one is a big NO. I can't change my partner for who he is. Because he can only change for himself.
Shall I say, I bumped into a man that isn't my ideal man. I said to myself that I don't like a man that has vices. But I don't know why I said yes to a man that has vices. My partner smokes and I saw him smoking before he courted me but still I said yes to him. I don't know why. Maybe because I thought I can change him. When were together, I told him everything that I hate or I told him that I don't like a man who smokes. Then he told he will stop it for me. But of course it's not easy for him. So I just told to him to lessen smoking and he did. Told him that everytime he smokes he can't go near me because I hate it's smell.and he does that. But I was so happy that it's already been a year that he quitted smoking already. He even gave me before his wallet so that he can't buy a cigarette. Up until he quitted because he also don't want to see our kid that his smoking and he don't like our kid will smoke as well. So that really urged him to quit. And yes his not smoking for a year already. I'm just happy he don't have vices now.
**So, that was all for now. There were still lots of questions. But let's see if I can still make another article for that.**
That's all everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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@Codename_Chikakiku Thank you so much for the renew of you sponsorship. I’m grateful and happy for you still stays as my sponsor. God bless and more BCH to come 😊😇
Embracing Motherhood requires a lot of Adjustments
14th of August 2021
***Motherhood,*** *it is the state or time of being a mother. - Cambridge Dictionary*
*I already seen and read a lot of articles sharing their thoughts of becoming a mother. The changes that they've faced as a mother. The adjustments that they need to surpass in motherhood.* @Zhyne06 *tagged me to do this as well. So, I'm gonna shares too my experiences of being a first time mom. The changes that I observed when I became a mother as well as the adjustments that I took as a mother.*
Let's start the changes that I observed when I became a mother and the adjustments I encounter in the stage of motherhood.
**Deformities**
When we became a mother it's natural for us that there's changes we've seen in our physical appearances. Some will be deformed after giving birth and will not get back to it's normal sizes. First and foremost, I knew all mothers would relates to this especially to those giving birth naturally. This is somehow a private issue but I will still shares it here because we girls shouldn't be ashamed of it since it's happening to us in natural way. We became a mother, we gave birth naturally. Thus, the first thing that we've observed is the deformity of our vaginal structure. There were already changes in it, it will be loosen up most especially if we already had many kids and it's normal. We shouldn't be ashamed of that fact. Of course, because a baby was coming out there and it's not that easy for us mothers. It's one of our signature that we truly is a tough mom. I've seen a videos about some moms that undergone some operation like tightening their private parts to make it young again. For me, it's their choice as well and it is also normal and it's not a big issue. This is something that we should embrace in the motherhood stage.
Another is that, our body figures. After giving birth all mothers observed changes in our body figures. Some will be skinny and some will be gaining weight. But most of my observations, mothers after giving birth are gaining weight. Just like me, my weight were tripled after giving birth. Haha I even started to have a diet because I already don't like seeing my body, specifically my belly.
**Sleep Time**
When I became a mother, my time of sleep changes and I guess this is also experienced to most of the mothers out there. Lack of sleep I must say. Since a mother should attends to the kids all the time. When the baby woke up early, woke up at midnight, woke up at dawn, or woke up anytime of the day and night and so does the mother. When the baby sleeps late at night, so does the mother. In that case, our time of sleep weren't stable and most of the time we mothers have lack of sleep.
In my case, my son woke up so early so do I of course. Before I somehow woke up late but not now anymore. I sleep late because of work and will woke early as well because of my son. It's even hard for me to sleep 7-8hours per day. Even 5hours that's already difficult for me. So, as you can read I don't have a healthy sleep when I became a mother.
**Multi-tasking**
I'm actually used to multi-tasking before but when I became a mother it was already over-used. But of course not all the time because I had with me my partner who also helped me in attending our son.
**My perspectives changes**
When I became a mother, everything change so does my perspectives in life. My son changes my my decisions everytime I had to decide on something for myself but that will be change because of my son. Before, I only dreamt for myself and for my family but for now my dreams for myself were all because and for my son's betterment. Before I used to even not hesitate to buy something fro myself but for now it's different. When I decide to buy something for myself, I always thought of buying something for my son instead of mine. So, it ends up I always bought something for my son and not for me anymore.
**Adjustments**. When we became a mother everything that we used to do before when were still not in the stage of motherhood will change and there were lots of adjustments in our life in terms of whatever it is that a motherhood should have. Especially in my case, I am a neophyte mom, a first-hand mother I'm still in the stage of adjusting myself from becoming a mother and still learning for it everyday.
Despites the changes and the adjustments of becoming a mother, what's important for me is that I learned to embraced all of it and becoming a MOTHER hones me to become a better individual with a purpose.
That's all everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
Blessings: Answered Prayer for Today
13th of August 2021
*Woahh! When I typed the date for today I noticed that it's* ***"Friday the thirteenth".*** *They said that, there's something not good in that date but today I considered it as best day for me as of now. It's a day were my prayers were being answered. A day were another door is being open for me. A day and another blessings being received. I must say, today my heart really felt the joy that I was able to nailed on something. The happiness that keeps me more inspired, motivated and the willingness to strive harder for the best I can, for my family and especially for my kid.* ***It's such a productive day for me.***
**Now, I'm gonna share how was my day today. A day were my prayers were being answered.**
Before that, I've shared here my sentiments about losing a job without expecting that it would happen to me in that day, it's actually August 4 to be exact. That day, I was so sad since I was being terminated in an ESL company that I was working with for 4 months because of some circumstances. You may check my article of that here for the full details about that sentiments. https://read.cash/@Janz/unexpected-blast-in-a-wrong-time-5cdbe79e
With what happen, I really felt the sadness from the thought that it's really hard to find another job for today knowing that we are facing the trials and the hardships that this pandemic brought to us. I was really eager to find another job as soon as possible because I had a son that needs me financially. So, how can I able to provide him his needs if I don't have a work? That is why, I looked for another online job but mostly were having high qualifications beyond mine and requiring some certificates that I don't have. So, what I did was to seek for some offline job and my target was in the field of teaching since that's my profession. Good thing, a friend of mine at the same time my batchmate in college chatted me that there's a vacant position as VI for Math (Visiting Instructor for Math) in our alma mater. Then she sent me the documents that I need to pass in case I will apply. Of course, I did grab the opportunity because I'm in the middle of finding a job and this somehow an opportunity that I must take. Therefore, without any hesitation I applied for it since it also offered work from home. So, somehow it made me to not hesitate to apply because it has a work from home set up. I find it convenient.
**Fast forward.**
I did go to my alma mater on college and sent there my application letter and other needed documents. But when I went there last Monday (August 9) I wasn't entertained since I don't have appointment. So, I was able to submit it the next day, that was Tuesday since I get an appointment first for me to get inside the school and be entertained by the guards.
**Thursday at almost 3PM.** I received a chat from the HR of the school which telling me to have my interview and virtual demo on Friday 8:30AM. That was today. Then she sent me the topic that I need to demo for today. So what I did, since I was in my hometown that time, in my parents because my alma mater were just near in my parent's place and I decided to stay there with my kid up until feast and just let my partner to follow us there a day before the feast. After receiving the message, I then rushed myself to get dressed up to flew back here in my partner's hometown since our computer is here and I don't have internet connection in my parent's place so it quite hard for me to do the virtual demo there.
**At almost 6PM, the same day (Thursday).** I was able to get back here in my partner's place. Then of course I did made a presentation for my demo and made a lesson plan for that as well. I was actually able to finished making lesson plan and my power point presentation for the demo just today morning at 8AM. I also did asked the HR to gave me favor to moved a little bit the time of my demo because I'm making my presentation. So, she let me have it at 9:30AM today.
**At 9:30AM**. I already enter or joined the google meet for the virtual demonstration. While in the room, I've seen that there were six of them including the HR of the school. They were my panel in that interview and demo, the campus director, the VP of Research, in other words all six of them are the heads of the school and I knew all of them of course since I graduated in that school as well. Some of them became my instructors and professors. Therefore, I really felt the pressure especially to the HR which was my adviser during my practice teaching that somehow pressured me because she said to me that she knew that I could able to make it the time when I submitted to her my application letter.
**At almost 12 noon.** My interview and demo were already done. There were feedbacks of course and one of them said that there's something wrong with the reference I used in delivering the lesson. There were a slight error. So I just told them that I wasn't have enough time to find more resources that's why I wasn't able to noticed the error. Then, good thing as well that they understand my explanation.
**After that, voila. I received a chat from the HR.**
I was happy and thankful for this wonderful opportunity because I knew this would help me grow professionally.
Now, I will start my journey as Visiting Instructor in Math in the University were I graduated.
What an answered prayer for me.
Now, I really believed that if there's a door that will be closed for you then another door will be open for you as well.
That's all everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
Just wang to express my heartfelt thanks to sis @Jane for renewing her sponsorship to me. Thank you so much sis, super duper happy here. 😊
Everything has it's Purpose
12th of August 2021
***"Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know." - Pema Chodron***
The other day I published an article about We had the right Love at the wrong Time and I've got a lot of positive feedbacks and thank you for all who commented on that article I highly appreciated it. You always kept me inspired and also helped me learned something in life and made me realized on something as well. Most of the comments says it's not a wrong time since I and my partner were able to coped up the situations. Some says, even if we had the wrong time at least we had the right love and we choose to stay together. But one comment really made me realized one thing and that is when she says that, ***"there's no such wrong time, everything has a purpose."*** https://read.cash/@Janz/we-had-the-right-love-at-the-wrong-time-d4f9fce5
*Translation to her comment:*
*Madam, I've seen a video a while ago and it says, there's no such thing as wrong time, everything has a purpose.*
The comment were actually from my friend @Yzza0625 . With her comment I able to realized that everything happens to us isn't at the wrong time but God has plans for us that is why he allowed that to happen. He wanted to convey a message for us and he has purpose for allowing that to happen in us. Maybe He wanted us to realized things or maybe He wanted us to be more mature and courageous enough in facing all the trials that we may encounter in the future. Just like in the quote of Pema Chodron that I've shared above, that whatever happens to us it will not just goes away without letting us know what's it's reason.
Now, for what happen to us as what I've said also in my previous article. That we somehow felt before that we are in a wrong time of having our own family knowing that I and my partner were not yet having a stable job. Were being in a rush not minding the future effects of our decisions. But what I also said in my previous article that we cannot control the situations and that is what happen to us. But despites everything, were just amazed from the fact that we could able to build a family where we can able to provide daily our needs especially our son's need. That's how amazing life is. Through actions with the help of prayers, everything goes accordingly. https://read.cash/@Janz/we-had-the-right-love-at-the-wrong-time-d4f9fce5
Everything has it's Purpose.
For what happen, I now believed and realized that what happens has it's reasons and God wants us to know what is it.
Now I knew what is it.
**He wanted us to be more responsible.** Were actually both responsible before we knew each other. Especially my partner, that he stands us a parent to his siblings. But having our own child, made us more responsible. We able to provide the needs of our son even though we don't have a stable job yet. We both make things possible without depending on someone. We able to find ways on how we can surpass our daily needs especially foods. That make us more responsible.
**He made our relationships stronger**. With our kid, every misunderstandings we've had were always mindful of what will be it's impact to our kid. We actually both have different belief since he shifted to another belief for some rational reasons. At first, it's really a struggle between us since we've always fought because of that. But when we realized that we should respect each belief then we've never fought for it again up until now. That also made our relationship stronger. Understanding each others decisions. Another thing that really made us more stronger is our kid. Our kid, tightens more our relationship to each other. Our decisions always rooted for the best of our kid.
**I knew there were still lots of reasons why God allow thing to happen to us. Some were already known and some were still not vivid for us. But we also knew that we will just realized all of that as time goes by.**
**So, how about you? Do you also believed that everything happens to us either good or bad has a purpose?**
That's all for today everyone. Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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We had the right Love at the wrong Time
10th of August 2021
**"We had the right Love at the Wrong Time"**
That is actually the first lyric in a song "Somewhere down the Road" by Barry Manilow. I can really relate to that in my situation right now that's why I wanted to express my thoughts about that lyric. But before that, you may first check the song itself. I loved that song it's very pleasing to me since I'm also an old soul.
**Here it is. You may play it while reading this. (Credits to YouTube.com)**
https://youtu.be/OFpVCCzaVwY
So, why is it a right Love at a wrong Time?
In life, we cannot control on what destiny leads us. Because if we can, for sure we will have a perfect future. It's not like a picture or a video that we took on our mobile phones or any gadgets that we still have the right to edit it and will just show publicly those beautiful captures and will just eliminates those unnecessary or isn't a good or a nice pictures or videos. **It's really not like that**.
Most of the things in life is uncontrollable including LOVE.
Can we control our feelings? I don't think so. Maybe the actions we can but the feelings, it's a NO for me. Maybe other things we can able to control it. But in terms of feelings we can't. Just like for example, **ANGER**. We can control our actions even though we're angry but controlling our feelings we cannot. Still we felt angry but the actions to show that were angry we can able to control that. **SADNESS**. We can control our actions to be sad. Were even smiling even though we're sad. But the feelings we felt which is sadness is there. Were just faking our actions but our feelings we cannot fake it for sure, we can say we're happy but deep inside were not. We can say, we don't love the guy anymore but the truth is we still do. They may say, were enough but the truth is we weren't enough. They may say, were beautiful in front of them but the truth is they will say the other way around if were not already in front of them.
Therefore, we cannot fake our feelings. We just able to fake our actions. Since feelings were uncontrollable but actions can.
**In LOVE, it has a difference in my case, our case with my partner. We both didn't control our actions and feelings.**
Why I said so?
The main reason is that, we both created a big responsibility not knowing the impact on it in the future.
I got pregnant knowing were both not yet stable. I just graduated college the time when I got pregnant and still don't have a work. Actually, I had a work right after I graduated college since I was hired in a private school but just resigned after a month because of some complications in my health due to pregnancy. My partner that time were still a student and up until now. He's still in 4th year college doing online classes. We both know the responsibility we will be facing after pregnancy but then we still choose the intense of love we had. ***(charot ang intense, Lol I don't know what other terms to say Basta Yun na Yun haha bahala na kayo diyan)***
The responsibility I'm saying is the fact that how can we both provide the needs of our kid after pregnancy knowing that we were both unstable. That's the reason why I'm saying, we had the right love at the wrong time. I remember my partner told me before, I was still pregnant that time. He said after hearing the song "somewhere down the road", ***"Beng, you know what we had the right love at the wrong time."*** Then I just glared at him because I knew what he means. But then, as what I've said we cannot control love as well as the situations. What we can do is faced the responsibility together. Because we can't bring back time. What's done is done. All we need to do is to think things we should do to provide the necessary things for our kid.
At first, since my partner's parents already both in the afterlife. Thankfully, I had mine. My parents were the one beside us at first. But it's not all the time that we should depends on them since in the first place it's not their responsibility, it's ours. Good thing y partner is a scholar, w e received his stipend he bought a computer set for me to be work online at the same time for his online classes as well. With that, I was able to work online since I already moved to his hometown. Then his also doing gardening and sell the veggies that he can harvest in the garden. I also had this read.cash whose lots of big help for us especially now that I'm not teaching online because of some circumstances but of course to be able to continue providing our needs especially for our son. Here I am seeking for another job and I'm already applying for it now. Hopefully I'll be hired.
Right Love at a Wrong Time.
Even if it's in a wrong time. We still able to do our best to make it the PERFECT TIME because we already had the RIGHT LOVE.
**That was it everyone. Hope you'd able to get some lessons from this article of mine.**
Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
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Hola everyone!
I just want to apologize for I can't able to read for now your articles since I'm here at my hometown and I don't have internet here during day. I will just read your articles when I get home at my partners hometown. I'll just leave it in my notification so that I can still trace your articles. Hopefully, I could read it all.
God bless everyone and more bch to all of you 🤗
Let’s go back to my Teenage Days
9th of August 2021
***Do you have a memorable teenage days? How was it? Are you happy during your teenage days****?* ***Did you enjoy your teenage life?***
Looking back our teenage life, we somehow tend to ask ourselves if we were happy, contented and if ever we have a memorable moments on that stage. We may have different experiences during that days but bottom line there is that we became who we are today because of our past experiences and that includes our teenage life.
Now, I'm going to share some memories of me during my teenage days. This is actually my response to @bmjc98 "When I was Teenager" challenge. You can also check her article to know about this challenge. It's here. https://read.cash/@bmjc98/when-i-was-a-teenager-8a203074
**Let's go. Let's try to look back memories once again.**
During my Teenage Days...
**I used to be Catechist**
*Catechist means I was teaching kids about religion an values.*
Every May of the year, we Catholic has the so-called ***"Flores de Mayo" .*** For the whole month, we are teaching those kids in our barrio the religion and values. There were lots of activities initiated in that month for the kids especially at the end of the month wherein we had a coronation night as a fund raising for the things that we give to the kids like school supplies as their rewards for attending the "Flores" for that whole month. With that, I was one of the catechist for 3 consecutive years since our chapel president also asked me to handle this said tasks every May.
I actually took the photo from my fb account since I created an album for this before. Good thing I still have this kept in my album since it helps me reminisce my teenage life.
I don't have an album for the other year. I can't remember clearly though. Maybe 2014 or 2017 since I've been a catechist for 3 consecutive years as what I've said a while ago.
**I used to be the Youth Leader of our barrio**
The time when there was no *"SK Chairman".* I was the one served as the Youth Leader since we've been creating a Youth Organization before. I was the one chosen to lead them. I don't know, maybe they liked my leadership.
Every December, we again Catholic has a 9 days *"Novena*" we called it ***"Novena sa Belen".*** I don't know of what is it's other terms. We had a 9 days dawn rosary for that as preparation also for the coming christmas eve. Then, everytime we had that since it os done at 3AM to 4AM every group assigned within that 9 days will somehow gave like a hot coffee and a bread or whatever it is they want to give. We called it in our term as *"painitay".*
Then, we the Youth has our turn as well in that 9 days. So, I was the one leading Youths for that.
Another is that, I also initiated some bonds within our organization. We had some get-together events. Like swimming and going to some places that we've all decided.
**I used to attend some Youth Day celebration initiated by the Parish or by the Diocese were my place belongs**
Last 2015 if I'm not mistaken our Diocese which is Diocese of Maasin initiates a Diocesan Youth Day and I participated that along with some Youths in my place.
It was fun and memorable experienced as well since we've got the chance to meet new friends and the other Youths of the other places that belongs in our Diocese.
My cousins were the one who also helps me in handling the leadership of our Youth organization that time.
They both also were active here in read.cash.
Heyyy, @MissJo and @Proud-me , shout out. Lol
**I used to go out the house at night before**
Yeah. You read it right. Before, when 6PM starts. I also started going out in that time. But not going out for party but going out to my cousins house. Since I love talking that to my cousin ***(not my cousins I mentioned above but my cousin in my mother's side).*** Sometimes, I had my dinner in their house. Then I usually get home at 9PM.
So, as you can observed. I was very active before in some Church activities. That's how my teenage life goes. It's all about school, house and church.
**How about you? How was your teenage life?**
That's all for today readers.
Happy reading!
***"For my sponsors and those who upvoted my articles. I would like to say my deepest gratitude and happiness for you all since you always keep me inspired and motivated. Thank you so much. More blessings to all of us here. Love you all :) -*** @Janz
**Lead image were taken from google**
@King_Gozie thank you for your generosity and for appreciating my works as well. It’s overwhelming to have new sponsor that will
be added on my sponsorhip lists.
Thank you Thank you and more blessing to come. 😇☺️
@Janz
