When situations Demotivated me to Write

26th of August 2021

Have you experienced the feeling of unable to write because of the situations around you? Or being unmotivated to write because of the happenings that happened for a particular day?

Yesterday, I wasn't able to published an article because I felt demotivated again to write. Demotivated, not because I don't like writing, not because I don't have anything to write but because of the situations around me that made me felt the said demotivation in writing. I wasn't in the mood writing an article yesterday even though I already drafted a topic on what to write but because of my anger in the situations and in the people around me my mind and fingers wouldn't functions well since my mind also were bombarded with different questions about the situations that happened yesterday.

Actually, this wasn't the topic that I drafted yesterday which was supposed to be published yesterday as well but I felt like writing this now because I want to get out from this feelings that I felt right now. I knew that this platform would helped me eased this feelings through sharing here what is it and getting some feedbacks from it. Because here, I knew I can express it all without minding about what people will say.

So, this was what happen yesterday that made me felt demotivated to write.

My partner's sister @isla_20 already shares her sentiments about the happenings yesterday since were just in the same roof for now. Same roof but we felt the same way on the people around us here that are so toxic. That's why I always say that I am living in a toxic environment which really is the top reason that I really wanted to get out from here and separate but what can I do, we don't have our own house yet and if we rent a house our finances isn't stable for now. I'm not yet hired as a public teacher and my job is just temporary for now then my partner were still a student. So, what I can do now is to endure the situations here. I guess this is the consequence of our actions to make our own family without planning it right. I must faced first this consequence for now. By the way, you can also check my sister in law's article about the happenings yesterday. It's here.

If you remember, if your really reading my articles and if you happen to read my previous article two weeks ago entitled “Tolerating mistakes is really getting into my nerves” .

I shared in there about how cruel my partner’s cousin who is a deaf for putting a thumbtacks in my partner’s bike tire and through that, few days later we even bought a new interior for the tire. Then yesterday, this deaf cousin of my partner stabbed again many times the back tire of my partner’s bike. My partner already suspected it’s him who did that because he was so obvious and guilty when he was being confronted by my partner. Take note, we bought already a new interior of that tire and then this deaf cousin of him stabbed it again not once but many times because it has lot of holes not only 8 holes but more than that. Because of my partner's anger he almost killed again the rooster of his cousin but this grandma of them is there so it wasn't happen.

All my partner wanted is to not tolerate the act of his cousin that’s why he wanted to disciplined it. But their grandma and the father of that mute cousin of him will always take sides on his cousin which leads to the fact that this cousin of him were a cruel brat and a very spoiled one. This cousin of him even not afraid to stabbed someone with a knife which he actually does one time.

Then, my partner because of his anger he also talked back to his grandma whose siding his cousin which she must not do for his cousin to reflect his mistakes. My partner talks back because he wanted to clear things out about things that his grandma were talking about. Because this grandma of him were not listening of what my partner was explaining about the what’s the mistakes of his cousin but his grandma never believed it instead she believes on what the deaf were saying which was a lie. In the first, this grandma of them knows how a liar his deaf grandson and then she still believed in him. Like what the h*ck?

Then she will just say that my partner has no manners. How come? No manners? If we are going to explain our side because she’s not already right in what she’s saying. Then, we already have no manners. We already don’t respect her. Is that how close minded she is.

Sorry for the terms everyone, but I really got sucks of their grandma’s attitude. Like she will not fair on how she treats her grandsons.

What’s the big deal if my partner’s cousin is deaf? If he creates a mistakes, should we just tolerate that because his deaf? If he will make a mistakes, we will just forgave him all the time even though it is not already tolerable?

His deaf, yes. But that doesn’t mean all his wrongdoings will just be tolerated. It must be disciplined in the first place. My partner will never tolerate him and disciplined him but what happen is that their grandma and the father will always put the blame on my partner just because his cousin is deaf.

Really? I really hated that fact. Because, it shouldn’t be tolerated at all. What if their deaf son and grandson will kill someone because they just tolerated his wrong acts in the first place. Then how are they going handle that? Are they going to tolerated that heinous act again and again. Is that the right thing to do? Because for me, it’s totally not the right thing at all.

Disciplined should be there despite the fact of disability every time made a mistakes for it to realized that his done wrong and he won’t do it again.

These are the things that really made me felt demotivated to write yesterday. I felt anger from their acts which is not already in it’s accordance.

For now, we really wanted to separate from here because I don’t want to make things worst and first of all I don’t want my son to see how they were toxic here.

Actually today there’s another happenings that triggered us to separate. But I won’t disclose it here because this article will be full of sentiments already. I will just think if I will share it here or not.

Hopefully, we can find a house to rent as soon as possible.

That’s all for today everyone. I’m sorry for the terms and for being sentimental for today. I just want to let my heart out through this article.

Have a nice day!

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