I'll Never Deprived Her

40 90
Avatar for Eybyoung
2 years ago

Cheating is one of the major problems why a lot of couples break up. It's an unacceptable acts and will stain the trust, once trust is broken it's hard to fix it. Break up is fine solution when the couple is no longer growing with each other especially when there is cheating involved but what if they had a children?

As a responsible parents both should think thoroughly for how many times before they'll make decisions, and children sakes should always be the top priority. When a person already had a child, life should no longer about themselves anymore but prioritize their child's sake..

I've read a post in noise.cash about if ever her partner will make a mistake on her like cheating, she'll never let the guy see their children anymore because her point of view is that she can no longer sleep with a guy who ditch her as she's not martyr type. I admire that she's not martyr but the part where she said “he'll no longer see our children if he makes mistakes.” It gives a ring bell in my ears causing I opposed her, I didn't invalidate her stands and principle but I stand for her children's sake;

I think it's too much when your partner make a mistake and that you'll never let him see his children.. your children needs their father and you shouldn't deprive them for their rights of seeing each other. It's okay that you'll never see him again but your children? No. It's selfish acts and thoughts.

People especially men are prone in making mistakes such as cheating when it comes to relationship but when there are children involved you shouldn't be selfish in making decisions.

This is my reply to her post, I'm not gender bias women can cheat as well but men are mostly rampant based on my observation. (This is just my opinion)

I won't tell who is the user for her privacy, and if she'll read this.. I apologize, I just found a topic to write where I'll share my two cents over this serious matter.

So what if my partner cheats on me?

I'm not trying to attract negative thoughts or happenings in the future but I am aware that in our lives nothing is certain only the present times that is why we should always cherish our present and not linger in the past nor overthink about the future.

So if ever the scenario comes, which I don't wish to happen..I already painted in my mind what should I do. I am an advance thinker, it's better to be advance than late..so if worst comes worst you'll never panic as you already adjusted yourself for the possible scenarios. What decisions should I make that it'll prioritize my child sake rather than myself?

Weigh things out, patch if it can be patch..

Humans are imperfect and that is bound to make mistakes, do a lot of failures and handling relationship isn't an exception but it shouldn't be used as an alibis to cover up mistakes. With this belief, I already made room for mistakes in our relationship. That he can be tempted, that I am not the only woman who exist in this world..

I'll forgive and accept him back depending on the weight of his mistakes, I'll try to weigh if he brought me tears more than happiness.. for the sake of not breaking our relationship so our child will not be affected, that is if I STILL LOVE him but if not anymore as hate overlaps,then maybe no.

Why it's easy for me to say this things? Well, I've been cheated and I've been a cheater during our younger years.. our relationship is not perfect but we didn't let go of each other because our mistakes outweigh the growth we have made when we're together. I also believe our mistakes way back is part of growing up since we had each other when I was 18 years old and he's 20.

If this things will occur again in the future, we can make amendments and adjustments, we'll see if things will still work out like how it used to be but if things will turn sour then maybe that's the time we will let go of each other..but..

I'll never deprived my child for not seeing her father

I grew up without knowing who is my father until now because my mother deprived me for knowing who he was because she was angry with him that he made her life miserable.

From that experience, it pains me seeing other children suffered a lot when their parents broke up because I can see my younger self in them. It's hard to grow up without father and I don't want my child to experience it.

I will never deprived her for seeing her dad if ever we broke up because it's their rights to see each other as father and child. Father's mistake shouldn't make the children's misery, although partly it can cause a misery as broken family is always painful in the ass but both can still be a good parents even if they aren't that good with their partners.

I'll let her see her dad but she should be on my custody since I can take care of her well as his father's job nature isn't alway around plus the fact that she's a girl, she should be taken care by a mother. But if she can decide on her own and chose to be with her dad, I'll let her be.

My child's happiness and comfortability will always be my top priority not myself anymore. When I was younger I wasn't taken care of my mother well, so I don't want to repeat it to my child.

Relationship nowadays doesn't last because couple chose the reasons or the mistakes of their partner over them. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and that couple should stick to each for better or for worst, that means they should chose their partner over their mistakes.

Of course, it depends on the situation.. when mistakes are reoccurring then it should be addressed accordingly. If betrayal ruined the foundation they have built then, they didn't built it strongly and maybe is really not meant to last.

But of course this is just my opinions and my stands in life, I know we have different perspective in life..so I'll respect whatever yours.

Image 1: Unsplash via Kelly Sikkima

Image 2: Unsplash via Eric Ward

Image 3: Unsplash via Fedirico Enni

Recent personal blog:

50,000 Views Milestones

Goodbye Axie Infinity..

Almost Dated A Doctor

Maybe I'm Having A Cold Feet

Very Productive Thursday

Opportunity Seeker Vs. Getting Rich Quick Scheme

How much does it cost to achieve peace?

Struggles Of Cesarean Section (CS) Mom's

Working Smart Vs. Working Hard


Find me at:

readcash •noisecash •Publish0x •Hive •Twitter •Telegram •Discord •email

Date Published: April 12, 2022

23
$ 5.10
$ 4.51 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.10 from @JustMyRambles01
$ 0.06 from @Jerrysavage00
+ 14
Sponsors of Eybyoung
empty
empty
Avatar for Eybyoung
2 years ago

Comments

I might as well also apply this to my son if ever he'll start asking for his father's whereabouts and if he wants to see him. The child has the right to see the parents even though they separated.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes sis tama ka sis.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Me personally comes to think about this many times, there is fear within me that something bad happen in the future but same as you I am trying to prepare something in my mind. That is one reason I want to be independent so hindi ako maging masyadong down if incase but off course I am praying and hoping that it won't happen.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes sis, we should be independent Especially in financial aspect . So whatever happens we can stand on our own

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Everything depends on situation and not all of us have the same situation. Our life is not easy and reality is very difficult. May Allah grant us all the grace to understand the right.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

If a couple decides to separate for whatever reason, the father should not separate from the children, they are not to blame for the couple's problems, as a child I experienced that traumatic situation and as an adult its consequences still affect me, Let's love our children above all. The content of your article helps to reflect.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Exactly my point, I experienced it too and until now that I'm already an adult still those traumatic experiences haunts me..and it'll stay on our memories until lifetime that's why I don't want my child to experience it. Thank you for reading my content :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kung magcheat man partner mo, pwede mo pagbawalan sarili mo na lumayo sa kanya, pero wag bawalan ang anak na lumapit sa ama nya. Karapatan nya yun.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah that's my point, kahit mag migrate pa ako sa Mars makalayo lang sa kanya eh okay lang pero hahayaan ko ang anak ko magkita sila nang papa nya.. kasi karapatan nga nya yon, kahit ina nya pa ako wala akong karapatan na tanggalan sya nang karapatan sa ama nya.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Pero wag naman sana umabot sa ganon, bata talaga ang kawawa

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kaya nga, hanggat maari dapat talaga di mangyari yan.. haha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yung last photo talaga ee 😍

But yeah, mahirap minsan kapag cheating yung reason ng break up talaga. If ever man na mag cheat yung partner ko, yung desisyon ko din ay depende sa kung gaano kabigat yung kasalanan niya.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah, iba ibang level din naman kasi ang cheating eh.. may light lang yung kaka start pa lang maglandian at yung pinakamabigat eh yung may mangyari na sa kanila kaya dependi rin talaga sa situation.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I really hope your partner never cheats on you, but when you've experienced the same pain she experienced, you'll realize you don't have the right to judge her decision to keep such a sick human being away from her child. What does a man whose a cheater have to teach a child? How to cheat, I presume. The woman cheated upon is the victim here, not the man who cheated and is being deprived access to their child. So stop making it look that way. It almost seem like you're rationalizing cheating, especially with regards to men. Cheaters are cheaters and cheating is not as a result of a mistake or temptation, it's very much intentional, and please men are not more tempted than women are, that's a sexist and misogynistic view. In reality, women have more cause and temptation to cheat drawing from sexual dissatisfaction which is a thing most women suffer a lot due to their partners inadequacy and is only found in men who are just outright promiscuous. I'm just airing my honest reply to your article

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hmm, so once a cheater can never be a good father anymore? And that the child can never see his father anymore just because he cheated? And for your info the woman is not cheated yet by her current partner but was by her ex way back when she didn't had children , it's just her advance thinking that she'll never let her children see their father anymore. It's like “you cheat on me, then you'll lose your children not only me”

I clearly said women can cheat as well, but majority women suffers a lot due to cheating issues. If cheating was not cause by temptation then what causes people to do it? Did they think they'll ditch their partner right away? Come on.. It all started in temptations before it became intentional.

I didn't make it look like the cheater was victimized instead of the woman, do remember I'm a woman as well and I know how it feels to be cheated, so don't make me look like I'm siding the cheater..coz I'm not! My end point is that it's the father's right to see his children and it's the children's rights to see their father as well regardless of mistakes and etc.. it's their human rights. Parents relationship with their children should not be cut just because the partner is not in good terms.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oh, I see now

$ 0.00
2 years ago

What did you see?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Your point, I mean

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Okay, then. Thanks for your time.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I'll stand with your thoughts on this one. If a couple should have a problem that is beyond resolving, the children should not be stopped from seeing either of their parents because it's the right. Children that are deprived of such right would tend to blame their parents why they are mad because they still have a right to see and feel the love of the other parent despite the quarrels.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah, children will grow up broken inside if they are being deprived.. they don't have complete family yet they are also deprived to see their other parents which is very tragic.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's sad that in real life it really does happen. The children are the ones who suffer more. 😢

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes. Though mahirap iset aside ang selfishness pero kelangan ng child/children ng ama ksi mkakaapekto sa paglaki nya ung as in walng father figure. It is for the kid's or kids' sake

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kaya nga that's my point, I was the product of it and I suffered inferiority complex and almost damage my mental health.. some cannot just understand the point that I was pointing the children's sake not the father nor the mother.. both are grown ups but what about the children? They needed both parents.. so they shouldn't be deprived to have it despite the relationship of the partner didn't last.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ako din naman kung malagay sa case na yan.. Bat ko pagbabawalan anak ko makita ama nya..kht ano pa kasalanan..ama parn sya.. At kung love tlga at willing magbago naman. Tatanggapin parin

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes, yun lang naman point ko.. I'm always saddened when I see broken family kasi I know children will suffer the most Especially if both doesn't know how to make amendments.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We are all cheaters. Yes you're right my friend Ebyoung! Even woman cheats. Of one biggest mistake, let's not use it as an excuse for a child to see his father. It needs reconciliation and forgiveness. It's really part of a relationship to grow matured.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Cheating does not chose gender, it depends on a person.. but mostly I've seen more men cheat than women that is why, yet I don't generalized coz I know not all men are the same.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

May point!! Wag idamay ang bata sa gusot. Aalisan ng karapatan ang ama dahil sa ganito, how about isipin din yong bata ano. Syempre ig gusto lang din nong ama. May ibang ama naman kasi na nawawalan na din ng pake sa anak kapag nakahanap ng bago, tsk tsk. Kawawa talaga ang bata kapag ganyan tsk.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kaya nga, pwera na lang sa ganon na wala nang pake pero pano kung nagkasala lang sya sa asawa nya pero mabuti naman syang ama, tatanggalan nya ba nang karapatan maging masaya anak nya dahil lang sinaktan sya nang asawa nya? Diba ang selfish lang

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Iba-iba talaga ma'am Eybyoung nuh. Merong mga tao na if nag cheat mga partner nila then may mga kids na nila. Pipiliin parin na mag stay for the sake sa mga anak tas meron din na hiwalay talaga agad. Wala ng chances. Mostly ang mga kids nasa mother talaga. Yes maam Eybyoung yung hindi na pwede makita ng father ang mga anak niya, mali talaga kasi ang mga bata kailangan din ng father.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Okay lang naman yung no chances na as in hiwalay agad pero dapat planuhin nila parenting style at di ilayo ang mga bata sa isat isa.. at least naghiwalay man pero ang communication both parents sa bata e mdjo intact pa rin

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oo ma'am Eybyoung agree po. Dapat hindi talaga putulin kasi kailangan parin nila ng father o mother.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Trust is the major key I mean the pillar to any such relationships. If there’s relationships without trust nothing can or will work out for both couples.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes of course trust, and commitments because if you are not that committed to your partner it's too easy to cheat.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

If ever maexperienxe ko na magcheat partner ko, hahayaan ko nalang sya. I mean, alam nya na ung tama at hindi eh. Konsensya nya na un dina sakin, if ever man na gawin nya, go lang. Sa huli,sya parin naman makokonsensya.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Let say may anak na kayo ano gagawin mo? Kase okay lang naman yang reasoning mo kung wala pa anak eh. Mas complicated situation na kasi pag may anak na involved.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oo kasi hahanapin ubg tatay o di kaya parang pag lumaki mapupuno ng tanong ung bata, ang hirao naman paglumaki anak mo ng walang ama e. Sa ngayon walanpakong anak ate, diko sure if balak ko o hindi e. Malalaman pqrin soon since lesbian partner ko

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I see, sorry for asking hehe.. but at least you're open for possibilities and understand the situation.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The child is growing for his parents. The parents' role mostly to grow the child. If any parents not care her child properly, then this child gone to bad way. So, we should properly care.

$ 0.00
2 years ago