I always drink to fall asleep

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2 years ago

Last 2 days ago, I wrote and publish an article about converting my Bitcoincash and how I was stressful because of our situation right now. It's hurts for me to decide because, all of my earnings that I saved for How many months will be gone but, I didn't do it. I mean, I didn't convert my earnings that time because I'm still deciding.

If you are in my position right now. I know that you will also think and spend your time to decide and that is what I did during that 2 days after I published my article about that, I focused myself to deciding about it. If what will be my plan, how can I find a solution about this matter, like that. I still read some articles little by little because my mind can't cooperate and even if I wanted to read, I don't understand what I am reading because my mind became blank and I am preoccuppied by this problem of mine.

You know that I just have a little patience. So yesterday, My Sister borrowed my $10 but she lost it. I am so very pissed because it's hard to earn that kind of amount yet she's not careful to hold the money that I worked hard. My emotions that time is not okay so I told her to find the money or if she can't find it, she should pay me back because I don't have money to use.

I told it to my Mom about that but her response makes me feel more depress

This is our conversation last night

Translation:

Me: Older Sis lost my Php 500.00, She always puts everywhere

Mom: Lol, It's okay you are rich. Maybe if who picked the money is lucky. Okay, I'm busy cleaning. Share your blessings.

And because I can't give the favor that she like, she is being like that already. I'm not rich because I didn't brag about how I earned some BCH here.

It's hurts that she think of me like that even though, I have my reason why I can't convert our money yet. I don't know why they can't understand me even if I already explain to them our situation of holding our Bitcoincash a lot of times already. I thought she can understand me, i thought she is the only person who can take my side because she is my Mom.

Yes, I'm converting little amount to go out and experience to unwind but I have my rights right? But why they always say to me these words everytime that I convert an amount and buy small things that I need? That they always makes me feel as if I don't deserve to spend what I workhard for and the money that I am saving is only for them?

I can't hold my tears because of this. I can't stop ny tears from falling because it's hurts. You know, I'm just 21 years old Kid and why they are making me suffer like this now? Unlike to my former classmates and friends, their parents didn't make them feel problematic to the bills, and they are just wanted them to focus to their self and study. But to me? I'm just starting to save yet they are being like that.

They are just acting kind because they knew that I have money but when I can't give what they like, They always threat me as if I don't have feelings.

What's hurting me is, My Older Sister is okay to them not to give money or share here. Even if she is just eating, sitting, laying sleeping. My Mom even aware of it and she is older than me but she never recieved an feedback like this from them.

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Because of this, I go to the kitchen last night and Grab the Tequilla that stock on the fridge and drank a one glass in just one go. I really don't like to think about this because It will just make me cry, I know that I can't sleep so, Drinking is just the only way for me to able to sleep instead of being eat of depression.

Thanks to my Virtual friends and became my older Sisters @Ruffa and @Zhyne06 because they are online that night. I don't know what to do that time. I just cried and let my thoughts all out to them because I want someoje to comfort me. If only they are just near to me, I will hug them because that is really what I need that time.


March 23, 2022

Today, this is the final decision that I decided after the days that I think and decide. I know that this decision will hurt me but to able to be free to this kind of problem and to their hurtful words, I decided to convert all my Bitcoincash that is in my Bitcoincom wallet.

I decided to convert it if the BCH price will reach to $450 or $500. Because last night, The BCH price pumped to $380 if I am not mistaken but as of now that I am typing this at 6:53 PHT, it decreased again and back to $363.

If that is what my Mom wants, Okay... I will do what she likes because, she is always like that. She never think about my situation and what I felt. She never asked me what I wanted eh. What I always thought is her Happiness. Besides, the Money that I will convert is for her room right? So, this is still can be used in a good thing.

Meanwhile, I decided that my own money will be what I will earned to my investments in SmartBCH. I just hope that i can win a lot of profits there so that, I can used it to bought my own land.

Conclusion...

To be honest, I'm not still okay right now but I'm trying my best. If you noticed that I am not active that much is because, I am still at the process of healing. I'm sorry if this article that I published today became a rant again. I don't know what to write so I decided to let all this problem out of my mind by writing.

Writing this one makes me feel a little better. Reading your comments, your concerns, your advises in to my previous article about this makes me smile because, there are a lot of people like you who can understand me here. Who cares about my life and they are always cheering me. Thank you for being with me despite that I always wrote about the rants of my life! Thank you for reading this one even if you are not learning any lessons here. It's just giving you an stress I know HAHA but still, thanks for that because I have someone who can I talk to even if I don't know you.


My Previous articles:

To be honest, I hate Studying!

Is this the last month that I will HODL my BCH?

All My First times are Memorable

Different types of Friends when there's outing

Do you know your Friends?

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2 years ago

Comments

Hayy parang sa bahay din. Ewan minsan talaga nkakaubos pasensiya din ang mga kasama sa bahay. Inhale exhale nalang at labas sa isang tenga din ang mga unwanted words.

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2 years ago

Na feel ko Yung sakit beh, πŸ˜” sorry to hear that,, cguro kung kakilala lang talaga kita at malapit ako sayo,di ako magdadalawang isip na damayan, Be positive lang tayo lagi beh,FightingπŸ’ͺ❀️

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2 years ago

aigoooo

sorry wala ako nung panahon na to

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It does stress us a lot more and causes us more pain if we focus on our losses. We all know how hard it is to earn here or in other platforms and it is understandable to be stressed about it. However, go ahead and acknowledge your emotions but little by little try to learn to control them and not let your emotions control you. Look on the brighter side of things. I agree nga swerte tay makapidot. Think of it as a blessing to others. Malay mo mas agkelangan jay nakapidot ket dakkel nga tulong dijay. Isu ladtan ti panunutem tatnu han ka unay mastress.

Tagay pay! :D :D

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Napaka positive mindset naman neto! Sabagay tama ka, siguro nasabi nya yan kasi totoo naman if sino man ang nakapulot doon, swerte niya at Iconsider nalang natin na blessings sakanila. Salamat dito sa comment mo kasi naliwanagan ako. hahaha

Arat inom! Chor

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2 years ago

Hehe. Buti naman at naliwanagan ka. Nakaka wrinkles ang stress :D :D

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2 years ago

Ok, lang yan sis, be positive lang always Nah maging ok yung mga iniinvest moh, hayaan mo nalang Yung nah convert mo, at hayaan mo nalang Yung mother moh,alam kung malampasan mo din yang stress Nah yan, god bless sis.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hindi ko pa naconvert haha Icoconvert ko palang mare siguro kapag tumaas si BCH ng konti bumaba na ata ulit kasi. Salamat!

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oo sis, bumaba Nah naman, pero may time nah tataas siya, pero hindi masyado, sayang talaga kapag iconvert nah tapos ang baba

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2 years ago

I don't blame your mother but maybe their thinking of you is higher because maybe they know you always earn from your side job and also they often see you buying things from your income, your mother may not tell the incident to your brother because he doesn't earn like you. I also feel the same in my life right now. but I don't drink friends but I go alone to my brother's house for a few days.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yeah maybe she thinks like that because of that. But I think, I also deserve to convert for myself even if it's just a little right?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hays grabe naman sila sis. Pwede magtira ka ng half sa sarili mo? Or after nyan. I save mo na sa sarili mo.

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2 years ago

Oo yan din naisip ko, ibigay ko nalang kung anong meron ako ngayon siguro πŸ₯²

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2 years ago

Naiinis na ako jan sa sister mo mareng ah. Sorry huhuh. Pero bakit namin ganun? Bakit parang mas pinapaburan sya? APaka unfair na nga ng mundo. peti ba namn pamilya ntin unfair din sa atin huhuh. Magtira ka for yourself. Wag ka papatalo sa kanila.

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2 years ago

Salamat dito marengs tsaka Oo. Magtitira na talaga ako para sa sarili ko ayaw ko na talaga laging sila iintindihin ko.

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2 years ago

Hindi ba pumasok sa isip nila na yung hindi mo pag convert is para rin naman sa inyo. Kasi kung mataas lang value malamang hindi ka mag hesitate to convert. Nakakasad naman yung ganyan na sitwasyon kung ako din nasa posisyon makakainom ako ng di-oras.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Kaya nga eh kahit ilang beses ko na explain sakanila, wala padin. Ayaw padin nila tanggapin yung explainations ko ang masaklap pa akala siguro nila sakin mayaman na. Hays wala ako magawa kundi iinom nalang lahat HAHA

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2 years ago

Welcome to adulthood, where money is somehow abstract haha. That's how life was really when it comes to finance and much more it could be challenging yet fulfilling because there will be outcome and result not just spending for nothing but it could stays and be used in your daily lives hehe. Any decision you will make surely it was the correct one. Good luck...

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2 years ago

Aigoooo, wala pa namang titira sa room na ipapagawa mo ee baka anayin laang yun lalong si mapakinabangan. Bat kunh sino pa yong nakakatanda yon pa yung ika maintindihan tsk. Pag isipan mo muna ulit. If worth it ba.

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2 years ago

Kaya nga e baka kamo yung magaling ko na kapatid nanaman kasi ang pasimuno nangunguna sa desisyon hays.

Opo pag iisipan ko muna talaga ulit ng maigi

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2 years ago

May taga bulonh ata na bubuyog kay mama mo ee. Lagi ng pinag interesan yang pera mo. Kapal ng face kala mo may ambag sya nong nieearn mo yan.

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2 years ago

Your feelings are valid. Don't feel guilty if you treat yourself and it's your hard-earned money anyway. Them? they are not your responsibility to begin with so yeahh, you can do what you want with your money and they are really mean they don't deserve your generosity I mean its not bad to bw generous but at least they should be thankful and appreciate and understand you.

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2 years ago

Besides, they are not really my responsibility right? Because I'm just a young kid. I'm still young and they should think my future.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I understand how you feel sis. You kept it for so long and you have plans for it but because of your mom, you decided to convert your BCH. That must be so sad on your part because they don't consider your feelings. I am praying for you to heal from that pain and sadness. God bless you.

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2 years ago

I hope so sis. Sana nga maging maayos na ang lahat πŸ₯²πŸ˜” sobrang lungkot ko padin nga hanggang ngayon hays.

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2 years ago

It will definitely reach that peak even more than that. Bitcoin Cash is currently getting a lot of updates. If you read Pantera's articles you will get some idea that it is going to rise very fast. From an article posted a while ago by Amjad sir, I came to know that Mark Day Mesel Sir has published some interesting information about Bitcoin Cash. So rest assured it is definitely going to reach to the moon just like it was at this time last year. πŸš€πŸš€

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2 years ago

Yeah and I'm still waiting to that mooning! And I don't lose hope. πŸ₯° I can wait till that moon comes to us.

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2 years ago

Please sis, never mind in my words. I may not be able to present my comments well but I am always of positive mind. I know why it seems that maybe someone mind something in my words. πŸ˜”

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2 years ago

This is sad to know. But thi sis the reality in life too.. Sometimes, it's you know, good to not let anyone know that you have money because they will abuse you

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2 years ago

I'm still at regret. I regret to let them know about me saving some Bitcoincash here. How I wish, I can still turn back the time and not tell to them that I am not earning here, so that, I can able to have peace of mind and not stress. Hays

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2 years ago

You know what, your money is yours. No one has rights to it unless they are your children. Don't listen to them. Savings is savings, you shouldn't convert it all just because you felt down because of them. They will just say what they want or do as they like to exploit you. But in the end, it is your life. You are the one to suffer all of that wrong decision that you made on a whim.

Secure your future, not the satisfaction of other people.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Tama ka dyan marengs gusto ko nalang talaga magsarili. Ayaw ko na talaga makinig sakanila tsaka sarado na dalawang tenga ko sa mga sinasabi nila kahit ano nalang sabihin nila dyan, nasa point na ako ng 'pake ko?' Kanina nagkusa yan na lumabas sa bibig ko at diko inexpect haha

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2 years ago

They need to understand that now is the time you can save as much as you want. In fact, they need to understand the concept of nit being able to sell BCH right now as it would be a major disadvantage for you.

I hope that expressing yourself has made you feel a bit better. You'd be fine

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I hope you are doing fine right there by, laban lang tayo sa life. It's okay to release some of your disappointments in life and it was great na there was someone to comfort you. Be positive lang ta always by, someday they will understand you and your reasons over things.

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2 years ago

It is good that you are able to unload those painful and hurtful emotions you are feeling right now. Ate, you are a good daughter and sibling. I may not know what the whole story here, but let's do what's right. Your mama may not know she's wrong or doing hurtful things to you. I am not saying to understand them always, but let yourself express it to them as well. I hope you are okay now.

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2 years ago

Grabe din naman un ganun, kaya minsan ayos na din tlga na nakasikreto ung kita mo sa knila, gaya ko, alam ni partner may pera ako pero ndi nya alam kung magkano dahil wla syang nakikita

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2 years ago

Sayang talaga yong pera ,kasi mahirap kasi kumita sa ngauon,kaya bawat sentimo ay napakahalaga para sa atin.Pero nawala naman na yon,kikitain mo pa rin naman yon in the next day,hope you'll be fine now

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It happens dear and it's very painful when you experience this early, I am 22 now a year ago when I stepped into Crypto , I made good profits in the start and I told my family. And after they started treating me different as if I have won some lottery or what. I even help them in medical emergency but one for something thing they asked me money, I can't remember what was that and I was unable to give as my funds were in loss and I didn't wanted to convert them. They taunted me so badly that I had to spoke up for myself and I said in a gentle manner that why are you treating me like I'm a settled guy, I'm just 21 earning a bit to lower your load and do something good in future. It's like a stock market I can't sell them now, I'm in loss. I helped you in so many earlier cases, understand my problem now. I'm just 21 and going for something big, instead of giving me ideas of how to save and be more disciplined you just want to enjoy it whenever necessary. Don't you feel any shame, I said that. I let all my emotions out. Not shouted but told them everything how I felt and how Much I love them and want to give them a better life. After that they they never taunted me and slowly they don't act like earlier. Though sometimes they ask but the thought is like a good one for one. Try expressing your feelings. If this doesn't helps then plan your own future for a better stress free life. As you only get to live once.

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2 years ago

Glad that you've made a decision na. That amount is hurts me as well but it is for something special naman. Just think na lang na when you give naman, doble babalik sayo. Pang pagaan ng feelings ba hehe.

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2 years ago

Somehow when they know that you have source of income ..they tend to act that way and they only see about you is money.. They can't see you anymore and I don't like that ..Sana kahit maintindihan kaman lang nila.. May plano ka naman na sa earnings mo..waiting to be implemented nalang pero ang problem mababa pa... Ibaling mo sa iba yang stress mo ..manuod ka ng Kdrama ganun ..para atleast eh mabawasan..

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2 years ago

Meron talagang taong ganon no? Yung taong nakahiga lang wala namang ginagawa pero kadalasan sila pa yung madalas kampihan. I don't know why ganyan response ng mama mo, kasi for sure hindi naman okay yung nangyari. Having money doesn't mean that you are rich, hindi ba pwedeng magaling ka lang magsave? Hays yung iba kasi, purket alam na may pera ka aabusihin na nila.

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2 years ago

Ilocano ka rin po pala. Taga Ilocos Sur ako. Di ko alam pero ganyan na ganyan din parents ko nung nalaman nila na nagkakapera na ako on my own. Binibigyan ko naman sila at tumutulong sa mga expenses sa bahay. Nakakalungkot lang na ang tingin ng ibang parents ay nagmamalaki na tayo, e hindi naman. Stay strong and hugs po!

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2 years ago

Haaayy basta bhe, dito lang kami palagi kapag need mo kausap. Basta ayaw ko lang talaga yung sinabi mo nun. Wag mo pabayaan sarili mo. Di ko rin talaga maintindihan bakit ganyan sila sayo. Di ka naman bangko pero haayy iwan. Basta be strong lang. Balang araw magkaka backbone ka rin na kayanin lahat ng wala sila. Kasi sila nagiging dahilan ng pagkawasak mo eh. Palagi na lang wala ka peace of mind. Pera pera na lang kasi. Hirap ganyan talaga

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kapag hiram dapat hiram lang. Ako madalas ko maconvert yung earnings ko kahit medyo lugi kasi pinapahiram ko sa ate ko pero sinasauli din niya. Sadyang may times lang na need nila ng money pero nababalik din sakin. Pero yung porke may kita ka eh parang ikaw na lagi magprovide. I feel sorry for you sis, masyado ka pang bata para makaexperience ng ganyan. 21 years old na din ako at ilocano din. Hehe. Kayam ata, agkararag kalang.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na yung pagtaas ng BCH mars. Hindi pala. Ngayon bumaba na naman. Kahapon ang taas mars nuh. Sana magbago at tumaas na mars para wala kanang poproblemahin.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Bakit ganyan si mama mo ?hindi ka niya maintindihan ba or napaliwanag mo ns ba sa kanya?Sana talaga tataas na yung bch para maka pag convert kana at maayos na kung anong dapat ayusin sa inyo.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Ewan ko din bakit siya ganyan. Hays naipaliwanag ko naman sakanila e di sila makapag antay.

Sana nga tumaas huhu wag na sana ulit bumaba sa $200 πŸ₯²

$ 0.00
2 years ago