When everything's too much.. just live on.

03/30/2022

On days when the fire isn't just there, where the urge to do nothing is stronger than the will to move, just keep living. Just keep breathing, and you'll be fine. Maybe later, maybe many years after. Make yourself think that it does not matter. Instead, think that every dark chapter has its own ending.

Remember those days when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you ask is why. Relive those lazy mornings when you felt like life is so unfair. How upset you are that you are living a life you don't want. As if you are put in the wrong place, in the wrong time. As if you are a soul that wants to escape your own body, and try to live in others' shoes, even just every once in a while.

How fascinating it would be, to be able to live others' lives, and see from their point of view. To know how life works for them, and then just to realize, they struggle, too.

Life is unfair, yes. And somehow, it's not. In a way that everyone has his/her own battles. How hard and challenging those battles do not matter anymore, actually. How we deal with them does.

I read this powerful quote from Instagram, while scrolling through some inspirational posts. I have a strong feeling it might motivate you, too. Or to make you feel better, at least.

"The difference between who you are and what you want to be, is what you do."

Source

"Read that again.."

Mind-blowing. Or not. Because it's something so obvious, yet, we still have to be reminded of this beautiful words.

We know that our present makes up what's gonna be part of our history. Our present activities, and mindset definitely affects our future. Let me say this, even it does not have to be said: If we want something good to see in our future, let's work on it today.

Don't expect things to work out the way you want them to be, if you are just waiting for it to happen. Yes, waiting is also a good point, it's also something we should have to deal with. Patience is a virtue, yes, but taking actions is always necessary. You'd only have something to expect, if you do something. Basic.

Just kidding. If it's that basic, then why are many of us feeling uninspired? Sometimes, it's not just feeling lazy. Admit it or not, it's easy to say we're just lazy people wanting good things but don't actually work for it. And that maybe true. Well, the thing is, it may also not.

There are certain cases where one just does not feel like working for a goal, because, that very goal is missing. It may be hard to believe for some, but in reality, there are still people out there, who have not discovered their passion, nor purpose yet. It may even surprise you to know there are lots of them. Lots of us.

If you're gonna ask me, I am something in the middle. It's my sad reality, that I still am in that quest for something deep, my real purpose in this lifetime. I may have found my passion, the things I love, and stuff. Yet, I still feel so lost. It does not always work that if I just know what I want, then I pursue it, then boom, every odds are in my favor. No, life does not work like that.

To some, they may know what they really want, and still find it hard to pursue that due to factors out of their control. Others are already pursuing their passion and purpose, but for some reason, everything's against them, as if questioning them if that's what they'd wanna do for the rest of their lives. And for the last possibility I could think of, some people are still lost, finding their way to themselves. Lots of hindrances, and it's the undeniable face of life. People are always hindered by doubts, unexpected setbacks, major changes, sudden heartbreaks, disappointments, and unmet expectations, among others.

And bringing altogether all of these things mentioned, forms in the back of our mind, accumulating, and whispering, until it just explodes on a time we least expect. The response maybe different. Breakdown. Shut down. Giving up. Getting caught up in haste decisions. Depression.

Whenever times like these come, I just try my hardest to bear with it. I know, I know. Bearing with something is really difficult. It makes me suffer, if that's the right word to call it.

I know you understand that feeling. That very feeling we'd have to continue doing something even we're so sick of it. There were lots, and lots of ideas to just leave and end everything, yet, we still choose to keep doing that very thing we're so sick of. Like working in the same place. Or staying with the people we hate. Or doing the same thing you absolutely hate. Living the life you least wanted. To simply put it, that instance where life still makes us eat the same dish we just want to spit out so freaking bad. And yet, we still try our best to consume all of it, because it's better than nothing, and it helps is to get by another lifeless day.

I am in that situation right now, so I understand the feeling. And like I said, I just keep breathing. Just keep living. Waking up every morning, try to light up my mood by immediately opening up the window of my room, to see the beauty of the sunrise. Do some bits of exercise to awaken my happy hormones. Relax myself whenever I feel pressured. Smiling even not feeling the best, thinking everything's going my way because thinking otherwise would not do me any good, after all.

This has been going on for, I am not sure.. weeks? Months? YEARS? And it's something I already get used to. But I am still patiently waiting. Waiting for that right time, when I am both ready and brave enough to close this sickening chapter of my life, and start anew with something different. You know what, just thinking of this alone makes me a bit excited for tomorrow, at least. Reminding myself that I am not meant to be in the same place forever gives me that encouragement to look forward to each new morning.

I am sharing all of this with little hopes of giving you some useful tips, I guess? If this worked for me, maybe it's help you, too. Please let me know if you have the same strategies as mine, or you use other tactics. I am accepting suggestions, too.

Hello, Wednesday!

I am honestly not gonna look back because I know this article is a bit all over the place again, somehow? Just to let you know, though, this is a product of my own pure thoughts, raw from my own latest experiences, and my own outlets to help me get by.

We are all winners here, okay? You are not alone in the struggles, remember that. Everyday is hard, but you always overcome it, and that fact alone makes you a victor already even you may not realize it.

Let me send you virtual hugs and comfort. Thanks for reading, and I really hope I was able to impart something worth to ponder on.

Until next time!

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Lead Image is a photo I took right before I started writing this.

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