12/01/2021
I promise to really take better care of myself starting next year. I'd be willing to invest time, effort, even some money, if that would be needed, just so I can see a better difference in me.
Monday morning, 1st of December. Goodbye, November. Thinking more deeply, it still feels sureal how we've overcome exactly eleven months already. It just seemed like yesterday when we were all celebrating New Year 2021, and now, we are on to the next chapter. It has been a wild ride of emotions, battles, and achievements. In the end, I am thankful that I am still here, breathing, fighting.
I slept late yesterday, because I wanted to push myself to write something before November ends. I was able to publish one, but that also meant an hour late to my strict 11 pm sleep schedule.
Before I slept, I looked back again at my performance for November overall. I know I did a bad job. Worse than October actually. The last week of November was a period where I became a mushroom that blooms and disappears on random days. One day, I can use up to five hours just reading and interacting with articles and writers, and the next day/s, I am missing in action. No need to explain here, I think I've shared about it in my yesterday's blog.
This showed immediate results. Lower views, and upvotes as well. No movement wth my subs count, and whatever.
The BCH market is red, and showed no signs of recovering at least at $600. I did not just look at my wallets, because it'd make me mad and sad. Aside from that, I have been inactive in other tasks as well. I do not feel better telling this, actually. I feel guilty for being unproductive.
If these outcomes also caused me to just relax and have a good time, then I will just move on. It's true. During those days I have been inactive, at least I was able to get extra rest, and relaxation time.
Why do I tend to wish I was someone else? I sometimes ask this question to myself. I always compare myself with others, wish that I have what they have, to the point that I wish I was them. I realized late that this is an unhealthy attitude towards myself. It seemed like I neglect the own, unique beauty that exists in me, because I kept looking at others.
This is a lifetime process indeed, accepting myself.. There are days I overcome my insecurities and feel a little bit confident. Most days are spent contemplating about the features in me I don't find flattering, such as my belly fat, my uneven facial shape, my unruly hair, fat legs, among many others. I spend way too much time criticizing these things that I forget to appreciate that I am healthy, and that there's nothing wrong with me.
Monday night, an hour before I sleep. I am still finding the way to be back on track. I haven't read a single article today, and I also noticed that Rusty was not coming over. Did it bother me? Yes, a bit. I spent some money these past few weeks because I had to replenish some supplies, and buy some things I need. The downtrend in the value of BCH isn't helping either.
I skipped the light exercises that I started doing every night since last week. I wanna take a break from it, for some reason. I will surely resume tomorrow.
There is nothing particularly interesting that happened today, so I can't really think of what I should share. However, I don't want to miss another day from publishing again, so I am trying to squeeze my brain for something sensible to write.
If I were another person who'd give advice to myself, here's what I'll say.
First of all, it's okay to lose interest for a while. It's normal. It's true that there maybe certain periods where you just can't find will to do something, even if you try to force yourself. Pushing more would just worsen the situation. There are, of course, consequences for every choice you make.
Push it through? Even at the expense of your health, and well-being? Go. At least, you practice consistency and show excellent persistence and hardwork. If you think that the latter weighs more than the thought of taking a break, then don't stop.
That does not make the other side inferior though. Consistency is compromised, and you know it will also cause some other outcomes outside your control. However, if you think that you can just start over again, and do better, then taking a break is okay. Who knows, that rest is what you need to come back stronger, and do things better thereafter.
Among these two sides talking, I chose the second. Take blogging for example. I chose to skip days here in read, to just relax, and distance from online world. I thought of my own health, my well-being, and my inner voice reminding me that I am overdoing things. I listened to that inner voice and just took a break. However, I was aware that this may cause me to be overwhelmed with piled up activities when I'm back. I also knew that risk that "people might have forgotten me" (the saddest thought that came to me, while assessing the choices).
Away I went. Came back after three days. Still not feeling it. Missed another one or two days. Still no. Until now, actually. The drive ain't still there. I saw the consequences coming.. and despite the unfavorable numbers, I still feel blessed. Because amidst all the other things, I still got some loyal visitors, that motivates me to keep going, even the will to write is just nowhere to be found.
I still have almost a month before this year ends. Still have a chance to achieve the remaining golas I set, not just here in read.cash, but also in other platforms.
While I am still lost, I'd still try to do things with the effort I am willing to give, for now. No more pushing mysepf beyond the limits.. FOR NOW.
Until things get better, I will take it slow.
Welcome, December!
I feel like I am restarting again, from scratch, because it seemed like I was away for decades, even, ironically, it's just a few days that I did not visit that much.
Let me use this opportunity to thank my ever so supportive readers and especially those who show support and interact with my blogs. You don't know how mucb it motivates me always. Of course, to the special block right here.
Even I seem like a literal "ghost" writer currently, (meaning, I suddenly disappear after I publish something LOL) I still see three, or four people that share their insights, and I love these people so much! I promise, when things get better, I will be able to create better contents.
Almost half an hour before ten, I have to prepare for sleep. Let me come and visit your profiles when I can. Hopefully, that's soon.
Thanks a lot for reading! And also... ehem! Thanks in advance for considering to sponsor me.Β πΒ I will do my best to not disappoint you.
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To GOD be the glory.
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work and effort is important for the necessities of life. Logically, if we don't work, we can't make ends meet. but if you hone your life more often without stopping then you have invested that your energy and thoughts are used in a short time and life. Do we like to be sick? or exhaustion. be wise to do something life is still long. do what's best for yourself and for others. Dear