Should there be: "a third party?"

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2 years ago

Today's blog is going to be an interactive one.

P.S:

I'm not opposing, neither am I supporting, but I'll be choosing what to me is best and I'll love to hear my lovely readers take on this...

But before I proceed:

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Today's blog.

I saw a movie this night, left to me, I'd say; "the movie was just quite absurd." I completely saw no sense in what it was all about. But I actually did like what the moral was trying to spit out.

What was this movie all about?

A girl had two friends, her friends were single and she was the opposite. The married girl had some self inflicted problems in her marriage.

The problems were: her inability to clean the house and inability to cook for her husband, she felt it wasn't her duty to do so (atleast that's what she was told by her mother) her hubby kept nagging all the time, the house was always looking so unkempt and untidy. She hardly ever cooked for him. He kept complaining and she on the other hand; felt he was too overbearing and annoying. She would go; crying and complaining about her marriage issues with her two single friends. Luckily for her; they weren't hypocrites, they always told her the truth.

One of the friend's was a bit blunt with her words, whilst the other was still somewhat tactful, this always pissed married girl off. She was never pleased with the truth that came out of the mouth of the friend who was blunt.

To wrap it all up.

They had a conversation one day and this married lady told her blunt friend; to be her husband's wife for 72hours, just so her friend would understand that it's her husband that's at fault and not her. The two single friends were taken aback at first, it was indeed a very deadly game. This married lady said there were no rules attached, which meant the blunt, single friend would sleep with 'her' husband, clean the house and perform all other wifely duties. Just to prove that 'her' husband was the one with the problem and not her.

I was pained with the way the film ended though, I was actually expecting the single, blunt friend and the married friend's husband to later get married.

That's why I said the movie was quite absurd.

Like how can you tell your friend to be your husband's wife for 72hours just to prove a ridiculous point?

Who does that?

Anyways...

One thing I picked from that movie; was:

  • The married girl was so free; confiding in her friends about her marital issues.

  • The hubby was also free; confiding with his best friend about what he was going through in his marriage.

In these scenarios, these people are called "third parties."

According to experts, a third party is a person or group besides the couple, involved in a situation, especially a dispute. He or she can be either of the couplesโ€™ family members, friends, co-workers or neighbours.

Punch news.

In that movie, thank goodness those friends were nice friends, but it's not in all cases. Friends like that are actually rare to find and that's the truth.

Picture this: Your friends are single, you're married and every little disagreement you have with your hubby, you run to their aid and start blurting out.

Not all friends would be nice enough to tell you the truth, some would proudly add fuel to the fire, just to make it hotter for you, and you'll see reasons in their ideas, only because it aligns with the lies you're telling yourself.

Should there be a third party in a relationship/marriage?

After some findings, I read different opinions from different people concerning this matter.

Some said:

Third parties are very good in a relationship/marriage, that before a man or a woman gets married, they should look out for a person, probably an elderly person that commands respect, someone both parties fear and would listen to.

So that; should incase any disagreement arises, the wife or the husband can quickly go; seeking the aid of the third party and the third party would be able to settle such disagreements.

Others said:

Having a third-party in ones home Is completely wrong, especially because most third parties these days offer wrong advices, the risk is that; some third parties might also be going through alot in their homes, so having to discuss your own marital issues with them is like finding solution in a sea of problems.

My own opinion:

Having a third party to me is wrong, all marriages have their ups and downs, disagreements would surely arise, couples should just learn how to settle it by either sitting eachother down and having a mature discussion on resolving the conflict between eachother.

Involving a third party, be it one's father, mother, friend, relatives, pastor... Is a no, for me.

New sponsor: I got another lovely notification today; stating that I have a new sponsor, I clicked and... Wow!! It was @VinceCharlie, a top-notch blogger on this platform. Thanks alot for the sponsorship, Vince.

Till we meet again in my next article and in yours.

Thanks for reading.

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2 years ago

Comments

My dear friend, the story of this movie was interesting, and I think it was an exaggeration that this girl asked her friend to be her husband's wife for 72 hours. I totally agree with you, the couple should be able to solve their own problems, and a third party with the wrong advice may make the situation worse between the couple.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thanks Ellen, lol, yes Ellen, a terrible exaggeration. Awwwwwn, dear friend, thanks for this lovely contribution of yours

$ 0.00
2 years ago

In my opinion the marital relationship is the relationship of person that's why the third should not interfer no matter whoever he be. Either girl friends or boy friend

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2 years ago

If everyone is like me ehn,even while we court I will never talk about my boyfriend to anyone not even my family ๐Ÿ˜‚,so I will marry I will now start such rubbish act. I hate to tell people something I know is peculiar to my life because no advise you give is good to me. Even within my family they know me so well that if my sister offend me I will tell her not reporting her to anyone and likewise me,I hate to be reported to anyone because I see it as third party

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ aaaaah, ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Wow! This is really intriguing, it means you're a really private person. Thanks for this lovely contribution dearest.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Well, I think there's no escaping having a "third party", eventually. There have been so many cases where any one of married couples, decides to go out of their way to seek advice from the ones they respect. It could be their parents, grandparents, close friends, or any religious leader. Or, in some special cases where one side of the involved party - usually the wife, is being maltreated, or abused; they tend to want to leave everything to God as opposed to them using their common sense. (But, that's not what we're dealing with here!). :)

I feel that when the going gets rough, and nothing seems to work in the marriage it is advisable to draw from the wisdom of the people who've treaded that path. It's all about wisdom, really. About who needs to apply the right wisdom to carefully handle the matter, and sometimes that can also mean seeking help - counsel, in order to save his/her marriage. (That's if they are willing to let things take a turn for the better).

$ 0.03
2 years ago

This really left me with a pondering heart, (sighs) so much sense in this. This is really brilliant Vince. Like... Wow!!!

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Lol... Thanks. I've just been able to get on with things here since my many days of inactivity due to reasons I cannot reveal now. I hope to catch up with things soonest.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

To me, I still believe a third party should be allowed. Why do I say this? Anyone allowed to settle misunderstanding in a relationship is a third party and that can be a marriage or relationship counselor who you can run to for help and they are willing to help you by not disclosing your secret to anyone except they take permission from you. Confidentiality is part of the rules of a counselor though.

Also, having a third party in your relationship should be done wisely because there are those who are ready to destroy your home and one needs to watch out and be careful.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Wow!, I love this idea, my mindset has suddenly been changed. A matured and wise third party should be allowed. And it should really be done wisely.

Thanks alot for this beautiful contribution dear Princess, thanks for stopping by here.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's my pleasure always, Ella

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's really a matter of luck to have such a friend. There are no such good friends now.

I agree with you too. If there is a third person in the life after marriage, there is a breakdown in the relationship between husband and wife. Relationships get stronger when they solve all the problems themselves without leaving a third person

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly! Good friends are really rare to find.

You're right Sonali, thanks for this lovely contribution.

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2 years ago

Most welcome dear friend ๐Ÿฅฐ.

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2 years ago

To me third party is a big NO for me except it's a case of elderly person...but still NO. For the examples of agemates, it's very are to see people that are considerate with good conscience not to hard fuel to the burning fire.

To the courting or mere Relationship saga; this I've seen and I've been a part of so many of them giving strick advices. There's one lady that usually runs to me whenever there's problem in her relationship and I don't fail to tell her the whole truth, I've told he to quit several time but I can't blame her...love is blind. The Relationship is terrible, her guy has access to her social handles and any unfamiliar "Hi" she collect beating

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmm, you're right Kay. Some third parties really does add fuel to the fire.

Aah, this is shocking! "Unfamiliar hi" and she collects beating! This isn't love, Kay. This is pure stupidity. The red flags is completely showing and she chose to stay... Jeez, some girls never ceases to amaze me

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agree with your point of view involvement of 3rd parties is harmful in some delicate situations just like marriage issues

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yumna, thanks alot dear friend and thanks alot for your lovely contribution.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Is there anyway you can be in a marriage without having a third party? I don't think that's possible. The person may be your friend, your parents or even your pastor. Either ways you still need someone that you can voice out to when things gets out of hand.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Omo! Majority carries the vote, you all are really changing my mentality, thanks alot Chief, I love this point of yours

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2 years ago

This discussion here is well-timed, Miss Ella. Many couples are in this frightful situation and I am saddened by the thought of it. It may not be relatable to me because I am single myself, and maybe my take on this won't matter as I only will be hypothetically speak on this.

This marital issue should be privately handled by the involved couple themselves. They need to thread it if they intend to save their marriage. But, when things go beyond the manageable, they need interventions. The wisdom coming from those who stood the test and most importantly, the divine intervention.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hmm, wow! Just wow! This is completely brilliant May, I'm awed. You're right, completely right, I understand you and this lovely point of yours.

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2 years ago

It is not like what you think as most of new married people don't want to involve their parents in their private life but the parents themselves are asking people that could know something about your relationship like friends of husband or friends of wife by saying they only want to be assured that everything is fine and there they hear what we didn't expect them to hear about our life.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oh I think there should be no third party. Problems should be solved by the couple themselves. Involving anyone either a family member or a friend cannot solve the issues but can make the situation more tough... btw article was outstanding and you have highlighted a very major issue of the society and one must discuss it.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly dear friend, it sometimes makes it more tough. And thanks alot Raff, I'm glad you liked it

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2 years ago

Third parties are risky but I think we sometimes need them. That's why we need to choose carefully, it could be a marriage counselor and not a friend jealous of you and your husband without your knowledge waiting to pounce on your husband when you least expect it๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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2 years ago

More insight from deepensiverse herself, this is brilliant!... You're right, we need to choose these third parties carefully. Lol ๐Ÿ˜‚

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2 years ago

I believe couples should d mature enough to settle their issues on their own. You need not involve a third-party. If you want say something, say it to your partner.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes Aimure, you're right. Couples should be matured enough to settle their disputes.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Having a third party in marriage maybe good for you especially if the third party is an elderly person. I believe even if the third party's marriage isn't perfect, the person may have some valuable advice to offer. Btw, I checked @VinceCharlie, your new sponsor. I really liked his content and subed. Thank you.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmm, great one Satoshi... And I'm glad you checked him out, not only that, I'm glad you liked his contents. Thanks alot for that

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2 years ago

Hello, Satoshi! Thanks for the mention, and for subscribing. I'm glad you liked my content. Much appreciation. :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You're welcome, and I'm glad to meet you.

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2 years ago

Why resort to that when you can hire a maid to do all the chores?

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Some couples don't like maids hovering in their house and cooking their husband's meal.

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2 years ago

All the issues between you and your partner will have it's privacy, I mean I do not want to talked about my husband infront of my friends especially when we had a misunderstanding, but I do not want my bestfriend to be my husbands wife for just 72 hours haha that's quite an absurd one..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Lol, don't mind that movie... It was really absurd. 72hours; all to prove a ridiculous point. And yes Dawn, there should be privacy.

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2 years ago

true, what if her husband and her best friend developed a mutual feelings towards each other, that would be a fault of the wife..

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2 years ago

couples issues can be quite sensitive and one had to blthread carefully vwhrn giving marital advice as it is believed that they understoof each other more than others. Third party advice should always be either from the parents of the couples or a religious leader..... It's quite unfair to always cheat from one side without hearing from both sides. That's why a respectable figure is needed to bring both sides together

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmm, this means you're going for the "there should be a third party" from this point you've raised, I'm actually seeing reasons to there; being a third party.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agree with you. Couples ( husband and wife) are the one's who's responsible to eachother and specially to their relationship. Both of them must settle their misunderstanding by their own, as sometimes asking the suggestions from the third parties wouldn't help for their relationship. If both of them can't resolve their issues, the relationship has no chance to work well.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmm, Grey... Thanks for this beautiful contribution of yours. Couples should really learn how to settle their misunderstandings by themselves.

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2 years ago

Hmm i think it depends on the third party mean what kind of person he/she is or the nature of that person if that person is sincere with us then there is a chance that we get a good advice or suggestion from 3rd party and also I completely agree with your point of view as there are some issues that need to be sorted out without the interfere of other's, I'm going for 50, 50% on both(lol)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Lol, to be on the safer side, hmm, I love this though, you're completely right. Sometimes one can get good advice from a third party.

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2 years ago

I think there should be third person but a mature and sensible one if you add third party like her friend you just ruin your relationship.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmmm, this is another brilliant angle Tanain, thanks for this beautiful contribution.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You can be really close to some people that you can tell them almost anything. Perhaps sh needed someone to talk to and only her friends were available

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmmm, yes you're right, but in that scenario, her friends were not married. Sometimes, telling some people about problems you're facing in a field they are also supposed to be in but aren't, can be sometimes toxic.

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2 years ago

I sincerely learnt a lot from this article. My view on this is that having a third party is wrong. Sometimes it triggers the matter and cause more havoc.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly Preiz, this is my view on this too.

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2 years ago