"Frustration, I Guess!"

Avatar for renren16
2 years ago

What makes you frustrated? Is it being rejected? Or feeling you are a failure? Or both?

Hello to all of you my readcash family! How's your first day of the week been doing? I bet everyone is busy today, especially those with stable jobs or school related works. Me? Hmmm...Just the usual. You know I am just a "Tambay" in here but despite the fact that I am a jobless person, I'm still doing my best to be as active as possible in here, because through this one, I can help my parents, in a little way I can. Of course, it never be possible without your support. Anyways, let's not talk about this further. This is not actually the reason why I made thi blog. Again, another entry about my personal stories and experience.

What's with the title?

For all you know, I am very excited to have my own baby. Baby? Yes! I even shared with you an article which tackles about the things that I went through with regards to becoming a pregnant woman. I mean, I experienced some signs and symptoms of pregnancy- frequent headaches, lower back pains, nausea and vomiting, cravings, so on and so forth. Most common comments I've got was to take a pregnancy test (PT) to find out whether its positive or not. But, I chose not to take it and waited if my monthly cycle will come. And yesterday, I asked one of my friends about her experiences when she was still pregnant with her child. I shared what I've got and she then said that I should take PT but I said I will just wait for my monthly period to come or not. And I really hope that it will not come because I really wanted to get pregnant. Not to the extent that I desperately wanted to have a baby, though. Yesterday, as what I have told you, I did my laundries, not all of it. After which, I decided to take some rest only to find out that I've got a period. I thought it was just a kind of spotting but it really was a period. I was really so sad about it. All of my excitement turned into sadness and I really felt frustrated.

"Why can't I have it?"

Looking at it negatively, maybe I am not meant to get pregnant. That I am not deserving to have a baby. That I am just an unfortunate woman. (D*mn, it hurts! -_-) Few days ago, MGD and I got into a fight. Honestly, up until now, we are not still okay. He just ignored my chats and video calls. Well, I can't blame him. Maybe he desperately wanted a baby, but I can't give him that. Or maybe it was out of insecurity. Most of his friends that is in a relationship shorter than us, already has their baby, but us? We still don't have it. I even said to him, that he's free to look for another girl or do what he want for his life. I will not plead anymore. I am all done with it. Yes. I said all of it out of anger, sadness and frustration I felt inside. Maybe this is one of the reasons too, that he still don't want us to tie a knot or have the wedding. Maybe, he waited for me to get pregnant first before he does it. I guess.

On the other hand, I still have hope that this period was just a spotting. Actually, I was really planning to buy a pregnancy test kit. I still got a lower back pain and like I said, my lower spinal cord and hip bone part gone big. I also vomited the other day. Its an unusual feeling for me to vomit after drinking just a half cup of coffee. Of course, talking about finding a job, I have a high chance to look for it if I found out that I am not still pregnant. As crazy as I am I even asked the Lord, "why?" ...(Sorry Lord, I questioned you again -_-)

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As I was about to end this blog, I still felt frustrated. My heart hurts but looking at the bright side, maybe I just need to research further about this "spotting thing" or the like. As for MGD, well, I will not bother him for now. I will just wait for him to make his move, if only he does. After all, both of us are at faults of that fight. He pressured me, I also does. Ugh! Can we still make it? Not just the baby, but most especially about the two of us.

I felt really sad knowing that I am fighting alone against this terrible feeling I've got right now. (Sighs!)

What can you say about it? I will feel honored to have your pieces of advice. And that's all for this blog fellas. Thank you so much for reading this one!πŸ“–πŸ˜Š

MAY THE GRACE OF THE LORD BE WITH ALL GOD'S PEOPLE!πŸ˜‡

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Sponsors of renren16
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I want to extend my deepest gratitude towards the people that keep supporting my works in here. To my avid readers, likers, subscribers, and upvoters. As well as my sponsors; (old, new, and renewed ones), I thanked you all. Thank you for making my read.cash journey fruitful. And, thank you for our virtual friendship. May the Lord God bless us more fruitful days, months, and years to come!

Special Thanks to @glenx_1981 for being my newest sponsor..😘

Peace and Love,

@renren16❀️

xoxo(*˘︢˘*).q*β™‘

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|#199- |19th Article of the Month

|02.21.2022 @5:32 PM|

Lead Image source: edited using Canva App

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PREVIOUS ARTICLES:

"SUNDAY-lightful Day"

https://read.cash/@renren16/sunday-lightful-day-fc036b0c

"Not so Productive Saturday"

https://read.cash/@renren16/not-so-productive-saturday-82de1cfc

"Friyay-Friday"

https://read.cash/@renren16/friyay-friday-afaed134

"Don't Hate, but Love!"

https://read.cash/@renren16/dont-hate-but-love-5fe0753d

"My Seven Months old Iking"

https://read.cash/@renren16/my-seven-months-old-iking-b1942a73

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Comments

They should take it easy, it is likely that your desire to get pregnant is manifesting in your body, that is not good. Don't look at other people, the ones that matter are you.

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2 years ago

The pressure is so real sir Frank. And yeah! It is not giving me a good feeling..

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2 years ago

Sis I think you should not be stress for it.Because it will down you more. So I wanna say that trust in GOD and try it another time sis. Its just 9 month, I know someone who struggle for 2 years then she was finally pregnant. So dont be hopeless dear sis.

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2 years ago

I will bro.. Thank you so much for your concern.. :)) I will just put my trust to the Lord that He will give me this one, sooner or later.

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2 years ago

Sis I understand your partner but hopefully masabtan pud niya nga dli lang sya ang gusto magka baby. Pagpahuway sa ug irelax sarili nimo, mas maglisod mo ug buo ana kung frustrated or negative ang emotions ninyo. Let your love make the baby, not the trend.

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2 years ago

Mao lagi sis uie.. Ay dahh, pwede raman sad siya mangitag lain gud sis ug di najud sija makahuwat ug pila pa ka tuig. Ambot ba uie.. Nasakitan ko nga naglagot naghuna.huna.. Hayyst.. Stress

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2 years ago

First of all, it's ideal you go for a proper medical test. And either ways of the result, just let the mind of MGD to relax for a while before any other thing

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2 years ago

I am planning to have that actually. As for me MGD, well, I will just let him do what he wanted for his life. I don't want to force myself to someone who don't care about my feelings.

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2 years ago

Friends, give yourself a break. You may have a lot of stress with your partner and try not to feel bad and feel less like you have no value, you are a precious being.

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2 years ago

Well, thank you for showing concern my friend. Ugh! My heart still aches right now.. :(

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2 years ago

I understand where your frustrations coming from. I have same experienced as I want to get pregnaby too. There was even a time I got delayed for 10days but end up false alarm. Until now me and my husband still.don't gave a baby and we are married for 3years. Don't pressure your self Ren, God will bless you. Just wait for the right time. Like what I am doing.

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2 years ago

Gladly, your husband still doing his best to support and give you comfort sis. Unlike me, until now he still ignores me..

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2 years ago

How long youre trying to have a baby? Don't get upset about your husband, maybe he is just trying to cool down

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2 years ago

As for this month, its 9 months already sis.

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2 years ago

Wala.pala 1year, dapat daw kasi huwag magpa ka stress sis, darating din iyan. Baka hindi pa God's will Ako nga since 2018 paπŸ˜‚.

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2 years ago

Siguro sis. Base niya nga kasi sa tagal namin. Imagine 6 years na kami pero wala pa rin. Pero dati hindi naman napasok, you know what I mean na. Hahaha..

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2 years ago

Haha, yeah gets. Eh hindi nga dati pinasok natural wala mabuo sa 6 yrs sisπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Pero kung gusto niyo you may consult OB naman. Pero magastos si

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2 years ago

Ewan sis.. Parang nakakawala nang gana yung pinaparamdam niya sayo'ng wala ka'ng kwenta. Yun bang, gusto mo nang comfort niya, kasi nga partners kayo pero hinahayaan ka lang niyang pumasan nang problema.. Hayss..

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2 years ago

Naintindihan kita sis, kasi nakakafrustrate talaga iyan. Ramdam at pinagdadaanan ko din.

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2 years ago

Well, I guess, hahayaan ko na muna siya sa buhay niya. After all, di naman kami kasal sis. Kung maghanap man siya nang iba, di ko siya pipigilan. Masakit yun pero, di ko naman hawak yung buhay niya. Ibibigay ko kung ano yung magpapasaya sa kaniya. No kimis yon.

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2 years ago

Ayon naman pala, tama masakit talaga pero kung iyan pa lng issue na. Better let go though mas maigi pa din kung mag usap kayo. So far on my part my hubby is not pressuring me naman. Mahirap kasi sa part nating mga babae iyon

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2 years ago

Oo nga sis eh...Tas yun bang parang sinisisi niya ako kasi nga daw ilang years yung hindi pinasok, lalo na nung nag.aaral pa kami. Alangan naman, gusto ko'ng makapagtapos. Tas ngayon na, hindi na tuloy..

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2 years ago

Till now hindinpa din kayo okay sis? Siyempre hirap kaya mabuntis din ng wala sa plano.

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2 years ago

Yeah! Seen nga lang yung last na chat ko last Sunday pa yun. Tas tinatanong ko sa kanya kung anong gamot sa tonsils niya kasi nga may tonsils ako, di naman nagreply. Gagi.

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2 years ago

😬 nakakainis din sis kung ako. Sabi nga dati sa akin ng company lawyer namin, two couples choose to be together or get married simply because of love. Having a baby is just a bonus. So dapat he should understand and not get frustrated Bago lng naman kayo nagdecide magkababy sis. Sa tingin ko ang bata niyo pa.

But if ganyan pa lng na hindi pa kayo kasal issue na iyan, better think muna. Besides how can sure he is na ikaw may problema?

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2 years ago

Yun nga nasa isip ko sis.. Ang sakit lang na pinaparamdam niya talaga yung parang may kulang sa'kin.. Pero, aynahh, kung maghahanap man siya nang iba, choice naman niya yun uie. Ayaw ko na magpaka.stress...Di naman kasmi kasal.

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2 years ago

Tama iyan sis , don't stress your self.

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2 years ago

Naku, hindi na talaga sis.. Kuta na ako ma palaging stress..haha

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2 years ago

Love yourself na lng daw muna

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2 years ago

hahah.. Parang ganun yata ang magyayari pag nagkataon sis..

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2 years ago

I feel something off about how your partner reacted, sis. He shouldn't push nor pressure you. The right time will come and you will be blessed. Don't stress yourself too much sis. That's unhealthy.

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2 years ago

Yeah.. And everytime he make me feel that way. I just ended up crying, like I don't have someone whom I can share my problems. Not even my parents.

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2 years ago

Nah, dijud na pwede sis. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me, sis. I'm all ears.

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2 years ago

Friend give yourself a break maybe you have a lot of stress with your partner and try not to feel bad and much less as if you were worth nothing, you are a valuable being

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2 years ago

Thank you for your advice sis.. Maybe I just need a little time to avoid being stress, really.

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2 years ago

To make sure mamsh, pagPT. Kay naay uban nga dina ra ang pagdugo just like mine. I thought I was not pregnant kay lagi gidugo ko pero ang akong mens ato nga time is dili same sa akong natural nga menstruation. Kay diay dina na diay tu. So, mas better nga maniguru na lang ba.

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2 years ago

Mao lagi Mamsh. Mao bitaw pud ahung plano. Mupalit siguro ko ani ug PT para mahibaw.an jud. Hehe

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2 years ago

Okay rana maamsh. Try and try until you succeed hahaha

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2 years ago

Hahaha.. Katawaa naho's imong comment Mamsh.. XD.

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2 years ago

Hahaha.. Katawaa naho's imong comment Mamsh.. XD.

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2 years ago

Okay lang yan mamsh. God's plan is the best. There's a right time for everything. Siguro dili pa gayud time mamsh. Naay plano si God na better for you. Hoping na maging okay namu ni MGD mamsh. πŸ™

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2 years ago

Mao nalang jud na'y ahung huna.hunaon Mamsh. Nga basin wapa kay naa pa ju'y MAS BETTER na plano si God para naho. Kung unsa may padulngan aning away namo ni MGD, si God na bahala na mag-guide sa among mga desisyon..πŸ˜‡πŸ™

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2 years ago

Gayud mamsh. Trust God lang gayud naay perfect time sa tanan. Si God na mag settle sa inyoha.

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2 years ago

Perfect time na si God ra ang nasayod Mamsh.. Hehe.. Unta Mamsh..

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2 years ago

Yes mamsh trust lang kay God. πŸ™

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2 years ago

Yes Mamsh.. Thank so much Mamsh..😘

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2 years ago

You're always welcome mamsh.❀️

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2 years ago

Hello ! About your partner he just insecure with his friends that got already a kid. He really want a baby nice to know it and for your situation you really need to talk everything about having a family if you not ready to be a mother then tell him pero kung gusto na niya talaga bahala na siya sa Buhay Niya hahahah joke. And about your spotting hope the result will not make you bad. Because I think you really that pregnant and congratulations on advance you partner will be happy on it.

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2 years ago

Yun nga inaalala ko sis eh. Baka nagkataon pa na maghanap talaga siya nang iba kasi di ko siya mabigyan nang anak.. Sakit naman talaga kasi isipin..Hmm..:((

Nayy, sana nga spotting lang to sis. Pero pag hindi, siguro sign din na makaka.work muna ako bago maging mommy.. Hehe

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2 years ago

Ahh okay sis sad naman ng story mo eh di na talaga maka antay yong partner mo e. Your a good daughter po talaga because maybe the only reason why you don't want to be a mother now is to enjoy and help your family because having your own family.

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2 years ago

Na.pi.pressure nga ako sa tuwinh sinasabi niyang, "Buti pa sila, kabago-bago pa lang meron na, pero tayo, hanggang ngayon wala pa rin." Sakit sa heart sis. Feel ko na may kulang sa'kin.. :((

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2 years ago

Okay lang Yan sis, baka di pa sa ngayon darating din Ang araw magkakaroon kana niyan just relax yourself from that pressure. Bata pa tayo dapat chill muna hehehe.

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2 years ago

Oo nga sis eh.. Basta uie.. Sakit lang kasi isipin. Pa'no pag magkatotoo nga yung mga nasa isip ko ngayon..Aguyy..

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2 years ago

Oi okay lang Yan. Diba magwowork kpa. Enjoy muna pagiging single

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Oo nga Ms. Yen eh. Yun nga din nasa isip ko. Baka nga hindi binigay kasi mag.wo.work pa ako. Hehe.. Hmm.. Kaya ko ba maging single? Haha

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2 years ago

I guess both for me. I feel frustrated when I think I useless, when I do everything but there's no gpod results.

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2 years ago

Sakit sa heart noh? Pero, we don't have any other choice but to let go and move on kasi nangyari na ang nangyari.. I.look forward nalang natin na maganda na sa susunod ang magiging result. Of course, we need to do our best in everything naman talaga. Lalo na pag gustong-gusto talaga natin.

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2 years ago